Inchcock Today: Friday 30th January 2015

Sorry about my absence recently folks – a most regrettable series of unexpected events having taken place and testing my patience to extremes.

Dentist problems, Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna, laptop dying a death, medical appointments – bought a new second-hand laptop that was as much use as a ‘Fart in a colander’ wouldn’t let me use coreldraw or let me on the web at all – got another one, this let me on the web and install and use Coreldraw (Fair enough Coreldraw still crashes regularly though), feeling so low about it all. Then of course could I find the unsaved passwords and user names?

Then I could not load Word so had to use the free Apache word processor. Luckily it gave me the option of which programmes to link to it. After some farcical fa-lingering (Is that a word… it should be!)

Not a bad little package either, I like it.

Downloaded AVG antivirus and installed it on new second had used laptop wot I’m using.

I wish I could find a way to disable the touch-pad though – I keep making errors and faux pas with catching it when typing or mousing and finding myself faced with complicated pages from deep within the laptops secrets asking me to choose options I have no idea about?

What a palaver!

Friday 30th January 2015

Up at 0500hrs

Lousy night full of dreams of which I can only recall odd bits of:

I think I had become a judge or dictator and was passing sentence on cyclists who drove on the pavement: 6 years… without medical attention, food, visitors and locked in their cells for the duration?

Bit worrying that…

Forced myself down the stairs (carefully) and noticed how light it was – t’was the snow that made it so!

Made a cuppa and took me medications.

I must try to get out later to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, snow permitting and get a walk in.

Started this diary passed wind and visited the porcelain again. I thought I’d got rid of the rumbling innards but back it comes. Huh!

Had a go at trying to work out how Serif Art works… gave up.

I wondered how the pigeons and mallards were doing now the snow had returned – hope I can get to feed one or the other of em later.

The arthritis and angina are not too bothersome yet today, the innards might keep me from getting my walk into Sherwood and bus to town though – I’ll do some graphics and see how they brew.

Coreldraw9 crashed and I had to force close and go through the starting instructions again. Huh! As I was about to close the laptop – Windows updates came in, so I ticked download. Taking so long I left em installing.

Took myself down to the kitchen to have a wash shave and titivationing as the tap twister in the bathroom has fell to pieces. Am I lucky or what? Hehe.

Got changed and the bits ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop and set off, sneaking the dickies some seed as I departed.

The snow has all but gone now and I felt in decent spirits as I set off up Mansfield Road into Sherwood.

The sky was beautiful – then I was advised by my grumbling innards that it would be a wise move to find a toilet ASAP! Despite the pain in me knees I sped as fast as I could to the Sherwood Library – just in time. Luckily my EQ had made me carry a toilet roll in me bag that came in very handy as the WC there had only those little tiny shiny postage stamp size sheets!

I came away cleansed and proud of my foresight! I felt like stopping someone and telling them… but I resisted.

The constant involuntary wind emissions as I hobbled up the hill to the Hospice shop had me a tad worried, but all seemed okay.

I dropped off the goodies and caught a bus into town. The emissions of wind stopped as fast as they had started – until I was stood up waiting in the queue of folk to get off the bus – the ensuing involuntary blast that escaped will probably result in someone writing to the local paper about it… it felt like it lifted me up – and the pain with it!!!

So off to the Victoria Shopping Mall toilets, I didn’t need to guess, the haemorrhoids were bleeding badly after the nuclear explosion from me rear! Tsk!

So it took about 40 minutes from my thinking how well I was doing and feeling confident to becoming a nervous wreck! Hehehe.

Cleaned up and refreshed again… I had a poddle through the shopping mall taking some pictures for the TFZ gals in the market.

I called in the cheapo shop for the 4 for a quid Lion bars wot I like – they had gone up in price! Damnations curses and sadness ensued!

Nipped into Tesco and got some Cox’s apples (Best tasting in the world yer know when fresh), and special offer microwaveable buttered potatoes.

Had a wander around and ended up in Trinity Square, where I sneaked some seeds to the pigeons. I’m really must stop doing this before I get caught and fined, but there is one pigeon who has lost his foot and hobbles around bravely getting beaten to the food by the others usually – and I just can’t help feeding him.

The shopping centre apparently built the sides of the building sloping to prevent the pigeons roosting – hehehe!

I took a photo from the gallery walkway over Upper Parliament Street, no shortages of buses today in the City of Nottingham… fair enough they were not moving mind but…

As I walked back to the bus stop I espied two mobile food outlets next to each other – Joe’s Burger and chips and Ali’s Lamb / Chicken kababs and doughnuts. It makes me wonder how these chaps make it pay. They’re both with a few hundred yards of McDonald’s, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken, two independent cafés and a gigantic cafe for the less well off.

It amazes me, especially as there were only three customers at one of the stalls?

Any road, I made me way to the bus-stop, but didn’t make it, I had to divert into the public toilets on King Street hastily – again just in time. Oh dear, getting fed up with with this now! I must call and make an appointment with the doctor.

Back to the bus-stop, searched fer me bus-pass which I knew I had earlier… found I’d dropped it in me bag somehow. Huh!

Got back in the hovel and paid a painful visit to the porcelain. Creams applied!

Put me bits away and checked on laptop, the windows updates had finished at least. Kept getting message from AVG that the initial full scan had failed and needed doing urgently – went into AVG and it told me I was protected?

Started this update and Coreldraw9 seemed to acting okay.

Had the mash with franks and bread, followed by yoghourt and a lion bar.

Got to get out early in the morning to get so see Sister Jane, but could I get to sleep… huh! 

Inchcock Today: Wed 21st Jan 15 – Declorication and dentist concerns

Up at 0400hrs – WC, cleaned up the blood.

Damned annoyed at not remembering any of me dreams again this morning.

Angina and arthritis both playing up big time, went down to make a cuppa to have with me medications and found that a bit of snow had fallen overnight and had turned to nasty dangerous black-ice!

I took a photo from the front door that creaked as the frost broke around it when I opened it!

I hope no more falls with temperatures this low it shouldn’t, but if it warms up a tad later I can see more snow descending. Tsk!

Not looking forward to the walk to the dentist at all this morning… but got to go.

Weather like this is Whoopsidangleplops inviting. Especially with Arthur Itis limiting my movements like wot he is today.

Trouble with Coreldraw9 this morning, freezing, crashing and importing work I’d done warped? Eventually after many restarts it  seems slow but working again – lost hours there. Tsk!

Looking out the upstairs window I saw many flashing blue lights of emergency vehicles in the distance on Hucknall Road I think. I’d bet the black ice had caught some poor sod out?

Finished off yesterdays diary and got it posted, then had the urge to write a ditty about the weather so I did and posted that. I lost the original plot in no time, but it seemed fairly funnyish all the same.

Must get the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop because it’s only a few doors down from the dentist. Two jobs in one like – as the missus used to say.

Got missen cleaned up and set off for the walk to Sherwood and the Dentists.

It wor miserable out there, but the snow had all but melted by the pouring rain. Not cold at all now.

I pressed on keeping an eye on the time ’cause they don’t like it if yer late you know like. Got there in time and climbed up the high steps into the passage and down to the reception. A few questions answered and I took a seat and waited until she called me name in her Concentration Guard voice (Wrongly but no problem there); “Go up to treatment room one now!”

So I did – with difficulty as the stairs are a bit steep, so much so I took a sneaky photo of them – just glad I didn’t have to go up another flight to treatment room three.

I sat patiently waiting looking around and noticed a photo on the wall, just above the signs that told us we would be charged extra if we were late for appointments, and taken off their records if we missed an appointment – oh and if we want none grey fillings we must ask them and they will tell us if they can provide them (White ones) and how much they will cost to be done privately.

I thought that the portraits of the Lions was most suitable for this camp… er, surgery.

Eventually the Obergruppenführer came in… I mean Dentist came in and ran through checking me teeth and commanded me to make an appointment with the receptionist for a half-hour treatment session on me two lower front teggies to try and save them, and shoved me record card into me hand..

I mumbled a few words in thanks and painfully nervously got up to go down to the receptionist, by which time she and her assistant had rushed off to treatment room two to see someone else… then I limped gently down the stairs. talking myself into being brave as I did so… to tackle the receptionist to get an appointment.

I handed her the card:

She demanded the payment for the checks just done and I paid her.

Inchy: “Thank you, the dentist said to make a half-hour appointment”

Grissly: “I am knowing this…”

I heroically interrupted her: “Any day but a Monday or Tuesday at any time will do, they are my hospital and clinic days…” I followed it up with a weak twitchy smile…

Grissly: “Humpf… let me to look, wait!”

I whispered back “Yes no problem.”

I sat down.

After a couple of minutes of her belting hell out of the computer keyboard keys she pointed her finger at me and bent the index one inward – this I took as a summoning and went back to the desk…

“You will be coming for treatment on Wednesday 4th February… Yes! This is alright with you yes?” It was an order more than a question.

“Fine yes thank you very much indeed”.

I got sympathetic looks from the other poor sods whose turn it would be later… I mean patients waiting her attentions as I limped out into the rain and sleet.

A bag of nerves by now I forgot completely about the bag of stuff I’d got to hand to the Nottingham Hospice shop a few doors away – such was my determination to escape Frau Goebbels. Actually I think they were Polish. Thus had to carry it around with me all day.

When I got to the bus stop to catch a one into town and take some photographs I adjusted me clothing and a zip came of me nice warm jumper. I tried to reconnect it and a bit flew off into the road never to be seen again.

“Ah well” I thought “I’ll call in Primark see if they have any in the sale still.”

The bus came and it was a case of standing for the journey into town so many people on it.

As it came towards the City Centre stop, I was caught up in a sort of stampede to get off the bus along with the polite mild mannered Nottingham people nudging and grappling to get off first. I wondered what was happening.

When I got to the pavement I thought my big coat had come undone in the mini-melee – but found that that zip was also broken beyond repair. Huh… what a day I was having and getting soaked in the rain to boot!

Hey-ho, onward down Clumber Street across the lights and right into the Primark store – now I was seeking a jumper and a coat. Tsk!

Took me time and pottered around, took some photographs for the TFZ gals and eventually came across a jumper that looked nice and warm and was reasonably priced – but none of the coats were anything like what I was looking for even though they were cheap enough.

Not enough pockets yer see.

So I left and had a walk through the slab square to M&S to cheer myself up with buying one of there admittedly expensive, but deletable braised beef with roasted parsnips that can be cooked in the microwave meals for one.

I foolishly thought before going to the food hall, I’ll pop up the escalators to the third floor and have a look at their coats on sale.

I fell in love with one that had plenty of pockets and looked nice and warm – but dare not tell anyone how much it cost… What a fool!

Now me bags were getting heavy, and me feet stinging as bit.

I poddled down to the food hall and got me meal for one, then limped back up and out of the store. I held the door open for a lady as we left and found the rain was even more heavy than it was before.

I couldn’t manage me brolly up and cope with me two bags at the same time. What a day!

I made me way back through the City Centre and up King Street.

Then round to the bus stop via Trinity Square, but no photographicalistioning of shop windows today, it was too wet you see.

A Nottingham Pavement Cycling nearly caught me off guard while I was concentrating on avoiding the worst of the rain but somehow he missed me by inches. I Christened him as loud as I could manage by questioning his parentage with the use of one word.

He didn’t seem to notice and was off out of view within seconds… bless him.

I really must look into getting a clandestine camera to catch the pavement cyclists and send the photographs to someone who might be able to do something to bring this problem to the attention of the authorities who don’t seem interested at all in Nottingham, but find the time to prosecute people for throwing away a nub-end or feeding the birds?

The rain kept alternating with snow/sleet as I made my way to the bus stop and got on one without any delay.

I took a photograph through the bus front window as we moved up Mansfield Road. do you see the lighted little box on the right of the picture?

A God-send that is – it’s where we old-uns swipe of free bus-pass on entry to the bus.

I was soon back in Carrington alighting the bus and  popped into the Co-op because I’d forgotten to get any bread when in town.

I’d also forgot to get some hearing aid batteries from the Ropewalk clinic. Tsk!

As I left the Co-op shop, the heavens really opened up and made me way as quickly as me knees back and feet would let, back to the hovel.

WC’d, put the kettle on, started the laptop then made a cuppa and put me things I’d bought away.

Certainly nothing to make me ecstasiate today!

Overall a day of frustrations, pain, embarrassments and failed good intentions – a normal day for Inchcock then!

Hey-ho!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 20th Jan 2015 – Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna in attendance

Up at 0400hrs – recalled bits of my dreams:

Two women in Victorian clothes smoking pipes were shouting at me at a desk with an ink well and quill on it… – In a ditch full of fast moving water, trying to catch a plastic duck with a toasting fork? – Trying to climb into an Austin A40 car 1950’s model, but kept falling out onto a zebra crossing that smelt of soap powder, I had a Davey Crockett hat on… but why?

I prepared the creams in readiness for the bleeding from the rear end and checked while I was at it on me stocks of medications just in case the lousy weather continues like yer know worra mean?

The cough was persisting still this morning… afternoon and night! Tsketh!

WC’d and applied the creams, had a scrub-up and shave then did some Facebooking.

After a while I thought about going out and decided to have a little walk to Asda on Hyson Green for some bits, but I’d call in the launderette to see Big John on the way.

The sky might have looked nice and pretty but it were damnably cold as I turned towards the cut-through to Mansfield Road.!

As I arrived at the launderette Big John was coming out for a fag.

We had a natter and he asked if I wanted to get a lift with him to Asda. I said thanks I’ll meet him at Asda if that’s alright and scrounge a lift home with the heavy bags? No problem. I needed to keep the knees and ankles going to keep Arthur Itis at bay, so had a slow hobble to Asda.

Said cheerio see you later to Big John and having gone about twenty yards down the road the first Nottingham Pavement Cyclist of the day nearly got me.

I tooketh a photo of her but I don’t think was even aware that I was there at all.

Onward I plodded and when I reached the college fencing on Mansfield Road I could not help but admire the shoots coming through on the bushes and trees as they fought their way through the bars into the sunlight.

This despite their being cut back drastically by the council a few weeks ago – they were now ready for any pavement cyclist or inattentive walker with a fair chance of poking them in the eyes. Hehehe!

It’s not a good photo, but many of the buds were already through with some of them starting to open?

And here we are with -5c temperatures… amazing.

The sun kept coming out and in strongly – I think that might have been why the gentleman in BMW didn’t see me at the pedestrian crossing on Sherwood Rise, and was most likely not even aware that he’d nearly clobbered me? Huh!

Over the road and around the corner onto Gregory Boulevard and another cyclist nearly got me – to quick for me to get me camera out in time, so I took photograph of the Forest Recreation Ground while I had the camera out.

I’ve just noticed there are no travelling cars in this photograph and pleased with how it came out, anyone would think the place of idylic peaceful pleasant and a desirable place to live in – Mmmm?

I pressed to the end of the road and turned right towards the Asda outlet – where another cyclist did his best to get me. Gits!

I had a good slow amble around the store starting with the non-foods section to look at the shoes they were offering for sale – Crap is the description that came to mind.

I poddled up and down every aisle in the place – and the trolley was getting slowly filled with stuff I did not really need, more just sort of fancied. At least if the weather does o bad now I’ll survive a while without going out. Hehe!

A good 40 minutes later I was at the checkout. And boy had I spent? Yes… indeed I had: £51.86 that’s USD $78.74 – AUD $96.10 – CAD $95.10 – JPY ¥9319.64!

Big John loaded the three bags into the boot of his car for me and gave me a lift home.

As we came out of the car park I saw something I’ve never seen before in real life anyway only in DVDs and photographs like – an Aston Martin car.

Shame about it being on bricks and the wheels having been nicked – Nottingham eh! Huh!

As we drove down Gregory Boulevard i took a picture through the windscreen of Big John’s car.

Hardly anyone around I noticed odd that.

The area was about two hundred yards from the wheel-less Aston Martin car, and the school on the left was fire-bombed during the last riots.

Just thought I’d mention it like.

John dropped me off at home bless his cotton socks, thanked him and gave him a few nibbles to eat and off he went.

I got in and spent a good while encouraging things at the porcelain.

Then started to put away the stuff wot I’d bought – good heavens I thought why did I get all this? Bitter orange drinks, cooked beetroot, bleach, BBQ sauce, deodorant, cheese sauce, washing-up liquid, antiseptic disinfectant, cocktail sausages, min franks, microwaveable Ribs, Gotowana, yoghurt, nibbles for the nurses, bacon cobs, mousse, cheapo cakes, biscuits, Scott’s porridge oats just to mention some – and even a DVD Liam Neelson in ‘A walk among the Tombstones’! Well it was on offer.

I saw they had Nicolas Cage’s latest DVD ‘Left Behind’ – but David Saxon told me he fell asleep watching it, so I opted for Liam’s Tombstones instead like.

I had the last piece of me pork pie with some bread and started this diary.

Passed wind a few seconds ago – involuntary like wot we older folk do now and then… Phwoar blimey!!!

Inchcock Today: Mon 19th Jan 15

Up about 0345hrs… WC.

No recollections of me dreams again.

WC.

Had a shave and started the laptop. Did some Facebooking and posted to LOMM site.

Had a wash and brush up (they can’t touch me for it!) and assembled the laundry in two great bagfuls ready to take to the laundry.

Then got the bits ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop and the nibbles for the gals at the launderette and the nurses at the QMC. Hard work all this effort to try and be liked innit? Hehe!

When I carried the bags of laundry down the stairs One at a time mind I didn’t like the loud creaking noises emanating from the third and second runs from the bottom of the stairs. More to worry about… Tsk!

I got them out of the door and took a photo just in case I pass-out or kick me clogs carrying them, so the police can identify them when they get nicked! Haha!

It was even colder than I thought earlier as I plodded on down to the launderette.

The cut-through to Mansfield Road had no yobs lurking and drinking this time – but it was iced over and dangerous. I walked along the edges so I could drop the bags and grab the railings if I did a whoopsidangleplop.

As I got onto Mansfield Road and turned right towards the launderette I thought “It’s awfully quiet here today.” Then it dawned I hadn’t got me hearing-aids in. But I had the right glasses on so not all was gloom. Hehe!

Got in the launderette and had to use two machines to accommodate the washing – two weeks worth including many of the thick long sleeve warm t-shirts that I got from Primark and they would need extra drying time.

Mandy gave me a smile and look that said “Oh, the old idiot is back”.

We had a little natter and she changed some notes into coins for me (Not magically).

I got the machines going £6.80 it cost, and there would be £2.60 needed for the drier afterwards.

I told Mandy I was off to get me hearing-aids from the hovel.

As I walked up to the cut-through the traffic was building up on Mansfield Road.

Then I had a bit of cheering up granted me.

As I entered the passage a lad on a push-bike came tearing through from the other end and did a whoopsidangleplop off his bike on the ice.

I don’t think he noticed my wide grin and contented look when I asked him if he was alright though… he was. I suggested: “You keep to the road on your bike in future that’s been gritted. If your too scared to go on the road you shouldn’t really have a bike at all should you?”

The look he gave me encouraged me to move on.

Got me hearing-aids and returned to the launderette.

Those thick t-shirts I got are really warm and comfy but it took £2.80 in the drier before they were dry enough to take out. Tsk, hey-ho.

Said farewell to Mandy and struggled back with the bags to the flea-pit.

Put the Hospice stuff and nibbles in me bag and set off on a little walk into Sherwood. As I departed I realised I had to return quickly to the porcelain…

The rumbling innards were giving up and a solid achievement was passed – now me haemorrhoids are bleeding something rotten! Treble Tsk!.

Got myself cleaned up and creamed then set-off again.

As I was walking up Mansfield Road I thought how much brighter the sky was today – pound to a penny some snow will descend soon.

Not much traffic now.

Got to the Hospice shop and left the bag of stuff for them and came out and caught a bus into town.

I popped into Tesco and got some bread then as I passed the Greggs shop I espied they were selling bags of Mint Doughnuts at 6 for a quid – so I got one to add to the nurses nibbles at the Queens medical Centre haematology.

As I was going into the site I spotted in one of the giant plant pots that the flowers Whatever they were) were forcing their way through.

Always amazes me this every year… nature eh? Here we are minus whatever degrees and these beauties battling away…

The rumbling from me innards was far less now, but the involuntary escapages of wind from the rear end continue – embarrassing at times this.

Got in and got seen to after an hour or so wait. The nurses seemed to welcome me a bit more enthusiastically this week? – Then I realised they were gathering around me to get a pick of the goodies from the carrier bag. Hehe! I told them they had a bag of Mint doughnuts cause I thought how original they were when I saw them in the shop. One of then had a look at the label, put her head to one side, smiled understandingly and pointed out that it said Mini – not Mint Doughnuts! “That’s the first laugh we’ve had all day” another one said. Tsk, I felt such a fool… again!

Said me cheerios and as I was walking to the main road noticed a bike locked onto the railings.

The sign at the side of it read: ‘Please do not attach your bike to the railings. ‘Well that sign didn’t have a lot of effect eh?’

I caught the bus back to the City Centre and had a walk around and tool some photos of Bling for the TFZ facebook site girls.

The rings in this photograph are very old, 1960 and 1910?

Don’t know what the stones are, red rubies I suppose guessingly.

I thought the bottom one meant c7th October at first glance?

Pottered around a while then caught the bus back to Carrington. I know I keep saying this – but my pensioners free bus-pass is so appreciated! I don’t suppose David (Snot-bag) Cameron will read this would he?

Slipped a few seeds to the pigeons on me walk back to the flea-pit.

I was just thinking I’d seen no Nottingham Street Art to report today – and there it was. Worthy of any Contemporary Art gallery I thought.

The exquisite spacing between the works of art, and how cleverly the artist has chosen to place them on different levels and resisted using house bricks and black bags… Hehehe!

Got in and did not need the WC! Hurrah!. Mind you I had to clean up the leaking rear-end again. Tsk!

Made some microwave sausage sarnies and a cuppa.

Started laptop and updated this ‘ere diary like.

Well now it seems the innards movements are going in the other direction so to speak – solid and stubbornly not wanting to evacuate! Tsk!.

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