Inchcock Today: Tue 3rd March 2015

Tuesday 3rd March 2015

The dreams were pretty bad last night.

Bits I can recall are: I was inside the stomach of a whale but it was full of metal corridors between the ribs and I couldn’t find my way out to the mouth of the mammal and was being chased by gangs of hoodies on mobility scooters that flew?

I couldn’t climb a wall but knew I had to – when I looked up faces on the top of the wall were mocking and laughing at me, throwing dead carcasses of all sorts of animals at me?



Poor old git

Forced myself up at 0530hrs and WD’d. A little concerned that maybe the rumbling innards were returning again.

Terrible pains in lower right rib area when I coughed or sneezed this morning. Also when I tried to bend or pick owt up from low down. I suffered even worst with it as the day went on and am determined that if it doesn’t abate later I’m going to call in at the GP in the morning on my way to the hospital for me INR Warfarin blood level tests and make an appointment to see her about it – breathing in heavily a tad bothersome pain-wise as well now. (Double Oh dear…)

Made a cuppa and took me medications, laptop on and got message on screen: Power pack supply insufficient – waffled on giving me options F1: Continue F2 – Forgot now – F3 Enter some set-up system. I took a photo of the screen but it wasn’t readable when I tried to use it later. Pressed F1


Coreldraw9 crashed. Oh dear…

Got missen polished up – got the laundry and nibbles ready then set off to the launderette.



Very windy again today with the sky full of different types of clouds in different directions?

Got to the launderette and Grizelda the Goddess of Appeal was on duty.

Oh… those thighs,

And twinkling eyes,

If you don’t appreciate them you cannot be wise,

Okay so she’s a gorgeous A+ size,

Magnetic sex appeal but just ogling her gives me highs…

But unfortunately she fancies my mate BJ.

Just cause he’s taller, younger, richer, more educated, has social skills wot I don’t, has sex appeal and is more street-wise and experienced I suppose? Git!

Huh… don’t bother me!



BJ returns

She did make us both a cup of tea though bless her cotton socks.

Got the washing done and into the drier and BJ returned from his cafe visitation.


BJ caught by Inchcock on camera – not happy…

Took a photo of BJ against the backdrop of the sun coming through the windows of the launderette that was a touch atmospheric I thought.

Then later one of him taking his washing out of the drier, much to his surprise.

That was when I had a dizzy and had to rest up a bit – as BJ’s better half Pauline joined us in the launderette.

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur.

The dizzy dissipated and I got on with packing me togs into the drier.

We set off in BJ’s car to Asda.

We split up to do the shopping – but I can’t recall a lot about it as the dizzies came thick and fast on this shopping expedition. I think I must have had three or four on the way round the store, maybe more. (Note I added the ‘maybe more’ as poetic licence for the sentence – sorry).

I came back into focus with everything when I was at the check-out. I seemed to have gotten everything I needed, apart from the nasal spray that is.

Yet another dizzy as I left the checkout so I sat on a bench with me trolley – the trolley wasn’t sat on the bench you understand, just me.

I pondered a while as I sat there – I was concerned about the amount of dizzies as I have never had so many in one day before – had I missed taking me Ramipril capsules, or had I taken too many? No I felt sure I’d stuck to the doses recommended. (I say sure…?) It most likely is something to do with the high BP?

And these new chest pains – nothing like Anne Gyna’s at all?

I’ll definitely have to go book an appointment in the morning with the GP.

Pauling and BJ came along a few minutes later and they drove me back to the flea-pit – I know we spoke a lot in the way – but it all seems rather vague now.

I had another feeling like I was going to feint dizzy when I was putting away my shopping.

I stopped immediately and within a few second the dizzy had cleared.

I glad to report that up to now, no more dizzies’.

Made a cuppa and got the laptop on. Same message as earlier about the power pack not being of sufficient strength – but it loaded okay after pressing F1.

Just sneezed and oh the pain in the right side of me chest, bad.

It’s getting too bad for comfort now. I’m going to polish myself up and cll at the GP surgery.

1710hrs: Back in a bit, I hope.

1838hrs: I’m back.


Dr Mona Vindla – one of the bestest ever!

I hobbled painfully to the surgery on Mansfield Road and asked the receptionist if I could make an appointment to see Dr Vindla.

They said I didn’t look very well (Cheered me up that did no end!) and asked me what the problem was. I told em I’d woken up with the pains on the right side of me chest near the lower ribs and thought I’d been laying awkward like. But as the day went on the pains have got much worse and at the moment it is so painful to lift anything turn bend etc.

One of the two gals said that Dr Vindla had left 15 minutes earlier and she will phone her for advice on whether to send me to hospital or not.

After she spoke to her she told me to sit down and wait as the Doctor is coming back to the surgery to have a look at me.

Felt a right pain in the neck then I did… Tsk!

I sat down and fell asleep with one of the gals gazing into me face asking if I was alright like. (What a plonker I felt again!).

Dr Vindla arived without a trace of annoyance on her face and said “Let’s be having you” (I’m making no comment on what I thought at this stage) and beckoned me in.

I explained everything and she had a grope around – finding a festering growth as she called it on the back of me shoulder saying this must be kept an eye on.

Then she showed on a model mini-skeleton where me pulled Intercostal muscle under the ribs that was giving me all the jip!

Told me I was on the limit for painkillers so would have to cope best I could until it starts to improve and heal. I was to hold the ribs tightly and do deep breaths every hour – apparently this helps prevent poisoning to other areas?

I was just glad it wasn’t summat to do with me lungs.

I was so pleased I forgot to tell her about me dizzies – Cogglewobbles!

Handed the receptionist some nibbles and hobbled painfully back to the bomb-site.

Dr Vindla is a good un and no mistake!

Apprentice yob’s were lurking at the end of the street.

Got in and made a cuppa and took me evening medications a tad late.

Must remember me INR tests in the morning.

Got changed and on the laptop to finish this diary – during which I managed to stub me toe.

Security Career Woes of Inchcock: Escorting the Prisoner

GCVinAfter my being on the minimum wage for so long, it came as a surprise to me when the boss asked if I’d like to do a higher paid assignment for that day.

I jumped at the chance.

Then it came to light that it was a Prisoner Escort job, with an increase of a mammoth 15p per hour!

I was to drive our companies pretend security van to pick up a prisoner from Nottingham clink, and drive him to the Queens Medical Centre for treatment on his arm he injured with a fight with another prisoner. Nice!

After my credentials were checked, a prison officer who was about 6’2” tall and a prisoner that dwarfed him, climbed into the back of the van.

He placed the route plan on the dashboard of my security companies battered old Transit.

Then gave me an RT to use in the event of any emergency.

The Prison Officer explained the duties required of me.

Amongst which: The prisoner was to be handcuffed at all times other than when he was being treated, then one of us must be by his side at all times.

It went okay at the QMC, we were leapfrogged ahead of the other patients – and the giant of a prisoner was tended to in no time.

As we were leaving by the authorised route, a shuddering came from the transit… we ground to a a halt.

The Officer got out to investigate, and informed me the whole tyre had shredded on the off side front.

Of course being the super-efficient security company we were, there was no spare in the van!

He said he’d check and inform the prisoner in the back, and I was to RT in to inform their control, then phone my security company for an immediate replacement.

So I radiod in our plight.

Then minutes later, as I was dialling to call our control room for a replacement vehicle (that I knew didn’t exist), the arrival of three police vehicles that blocked the front and rear of us, and armed officers stationing themselves a various advantage points – all within seconds – confused me somewhat!

Within minutes there were more police vehicles than I thought existed all around us.

The Prison Officer had forgotten to tell me that if a certain two words (changed daily apparently) were used in any message to their control, they were taken as meaning ‘Urgent/Emergency situation back-up required’

Of course muggings here had unknowingly used those two words in my message!

The prisoner thought it was all hilarious.

The Officer was in deep phoo phoo!

My company somehow kept the contract as emergency transport provider for the Prison Service.

I was never chosen for those duties again.

I had to attend police headquarters for an in depth interview and make a statement and I didn’t get paid for it by the company.

I spoke with the Security Manager:

“How come I’m not being paid for going to the police to make a statement then?”

“Worrif yer was a witness under normal circumstances and you had give em a statement then?”

“What do mean boss?”

“Well you couldn’t expect me to pay yer then could yer?”

I could if it were on me shift time yea!”

“Are but I did pay yer fer you shift din’t we!”


“Well wot yer moaning abarght?”

“It happened after me shift time dint it!”

“I dint tell yer to do it did I?”

“No, but they did dint they?”

“Who pays yer @#&*ing wages then? I do!”

“But yer dint did yer!”

“Yer,  for the full shift yer ungrateful little bleeder!”

“But not fer the interview!”

“Wot interview?”

“The interview with the police to give me statement!”

” I didn’t tell yer to do it did I?”

“No they did!”

“Let them pay yer then, cause I sure as “%}k ain’t goin’ to!”

“I’ll put me notice if if yer don’t!”

“No yer wont!”

“Yes I will!”

“I’ll sack yer first!”…

Security Company? Cowboys comes to mind!