Inchcock Shows Signs of Contentment – Investigation to follow…

Unheard of Inchcock Symptoms Disclosed!

Medical experts and fellow bloggers today found out that Inchcock was showing signs of Contentment this morning.

A stand-by rapid response team was despatched to his flat on the 12th floor in Nottingham post haste. Led by Duncan Robertson head of the Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Union.


Gary Hoadley delayed by unforeseen circumstances

Unfortunately the Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Union’s Riot Controller Gaz Hoadley (22) could not respond with the team due to his return home from his holiday in New York being delayed by unforeseen circumstances.


The Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Unionists Members preparing to go into battle to save Inchcock by adorning protective equipment.

The team, all worried about Inchcock’s attack of Contentment were soon on the scene.

Inchcock Gazette reporter Kentucky Angel interviewed Duncan as the Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Unionists were preparing themselves to enter Inchcock’s premises: She asked him why it was taking so long to gain entry?

“There are so many dangers in their Angel. Many unknown to those not within the bloggers circle – we must protect ourselves from diseases not commonly encountered and obstacles within the premises, I know I been in there! also to avoid catching anything ourselves…”

“What do you mean?”


Inchcock’s Grabbers – A Danger!

Well we have make sure me know where his walking stick and three grabbers are located to avoid falling over them you see.

Also we must know where his medications, and used pads, bandages and elastica are stored.

And, we are sure of his current condition you see… if he’s come back to his usual depressed, moronic, not knowing what’s going on condition there will be no worries or need for us to offer assistance – but if he’s still on a high and showing signs of fitness, healthiness or happiness then we are in trouble and may lose him altogether I’m afraid. His metabolism and brain are just not used to contentment or optimism, I’m sure he could not cope with any of these emotions unless of course they are drug induced..”

At this Duncan passed the supply of DDT to Rachel Carerra (18¼) the Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Unionists Accountant & Massage Specialist she quoted; “This could be dangerous, but Inchcock by being the crappiest, worst pathetic blogger of all time in a round about way supports and improves the standing of all of our members and other satirists you see. So we’d sooner he didn’t snuff it yet, until we find someone as bad as him to take over the mantle – and of course he still owes £20,450.26 to our bookkeeper and vehicle acquirement officer Danny Soz (19¾) who is here with as much if not more concern for the lad Inchcock (79).”


Shirley Blamey & Mike Steedenski were requisitioning essential supplies for the squad

At this Danny Soz chipped in: “I care about the imbecile more than most do. And what would Lidl and the NHS do without him?” He rolled a Golden Virginia fag in a an MOT certificate and continued: “His fading with age short-term memory has been a boost the to Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Unionist’s bank balance. The missus would surely miss him if he has another heart attack trying to cope with the excitement any unnatural to him feeling of contentment, enthusiasm, fulfilment or pleasure… we stop this at all costs, especially the costs to my bank balance…” At this he coughed on his roll-up, took a swig from his absinthe flask and asked where the hell was Shirley Blamey (Not saying, Social Events Secretary) and Mike Steedenski (24 Health advisor) anyway? Do they not care about fellow blogger Inchcock? (Fellow members of the  Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Unionists) Rachel Carerra explained that both of them were commandeering essential supplies for the  Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Unionists squad, and she was concerned for his safety.

She then questioned the absence of the  Inchcock Support and Containment Squad of the Satirist’s Blogger Unionist’s (Music Director and Supermom Marissa Bergen 16½,)


Marissa, delayed a the bar in the airport in Newcastle

It transpired that she was last seen at Newcastle airport. However they did receive a message from the Northumbria Police that he had been released on bail and her methadone had been returned to her.

We understand that the Prime Minister has been informed along with Interpol and the NHS Psychiatric Unit. Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has since contacted Minister of Works & Pensions Ian Duncan Smith to see if anything could be done about avoiding the news of this Inchcock phenomenon getting out onto the web.

AndyBreaking News:

Just in from the Nottingham Perverts Monthly.

Inchcock was seen this evening outside of a ladies shop ogling at the headless models in the window. In the rain, looking miserable and with odd socks on.

So, all back to normal then?

Well… Thank heavens for that!

Inchcock Today Wed 18 Nov 15: Mega Pong from the Bathroom. I mean mega!

Wednesday 18th November 2015


Woke at 0310 hrs, Coughing.

Recalled bit of me dreams and wrote them down: On a stage performing with some other peoples who I recognised but could not recall exactly who was who and this annoyed them, my forgetting their names as it seemed it was part of the song we were singing? Very confusing.

The coughing had eased a lot as I put kettle on – and cleaned the pots I couldn’t do last night due to the burst water main… well I started to, but had to hobble to the bathroom to find ‘Little Inchy’ tender and needing more care and attention. I must get to see the GP again about this problem.

Back to finishing the cleaning and made a cuppa, even made another search around for the missing Dixon DVD, but I reckon it’s gone for good.

Laptop on, had me medications while I thought of it, and the stomach started churning a bit.

Finished Tuesdays Diary and started this one, after much forced effort, trips to the porcelain and about two hours.

The back went when I was bending to open the bottom drawer – Huh! Click, pain, swear word and took ages to straighten up – sad innit? Humph!

Did me emails lots of em too today, started this diary and then did some Facebooking. Have to rush a bit to finish me Facebooking, cause I want to get a bath and spit and polish before the bus comes and I can try again to get to feed the ducks on the canal.

Feeding the the ducks on the canal had to be cancelled!

Opened the bathroom door and nearly passed out with the smell!

Had to have a shave and stand up wash by boiling water in the saucepans, in the kitchen sink as the hot water was cold due to me leaving the tap on in the kitchen – Tsk!

I went to the hut to report the stink and a lady was there to speak with people who came along to the open day (Prospective tenants). I reported the situation and said I’ve got to go to Sherwood to get some bits and I’d check when I get back.

Walked up the hill into Woodthorpe Grange Park and down onto Mansfield Road the left up the hill and down into Sherwood.

P1020472Poddled to Wilko’s and got some tape, half-price Dettol spray disinfectant and asked a lady if they had DVD cleaners, she pointed the directions out to them for me but when i to where they should be on the shelves there were none. 


Walked back up and over the hill to the P1020473park and walked up the footpath to the top.

Saw some lovely dogs enjoying themselves en-route.

At the top when I turned right and down the dodgy footpath I met a lady with two scruffy but oh so happy mutts it cheered me up just seeing them.

Down to the flats and up the lift and opened the bathroom door and cor-blimey the stink was worse than ever!

I sent an email to Deana the coordinator for the flats and she relied quickly that she’d be up to see me soon.

The Morrison delivery arrived and he could smell the sh… aroma from outside the door!

Put the stuff away and sprayed disinfectant in the bathroom, down the bowl and air sprayed inside too!

Started to update this diary and Deana arrived and checked the air outlet, that was working, flushed the loo etc. I pointed out that when I first came here there was a tape, yellow and black spread over the bowl telling me not to use it under any circumstance. When the plumber arrived he was a bit aggressive in tone telling me there was nothing wrong and to use it. Tutted, muttered and left!

She called the works department and told them the situation.

They told her to tell me to use it and it is not considered an emergency so they will try to get today up to 2300hrs (Yes 2300hrs) but it may be any-time up to 1600hrs on Friday when they arrive to investigate. Any work needed may take longer.

She trotted off with a smile and cheerio.

I made a start on me  graphic for the Marissa Bergen Blogger Band Part Two. Going to take while this one.

I was so glad I went to the shop earlier today – the howling wind rose up and the rain poured down!

The plumber chappie arrived, and when we opened the bathroom door, the stink was a of far less potency and it seemed clear that it was fading now? I explained what had occurred and apologised for bothering him. Red Faced Again!

The hot water was slowly heating up, but the smell, although not so bad that still lingered in the bathroom was too much for me to sit in a bath with.

Got me nosh onP1020475.

Sweet potatoes in better, beetroot, pickled eggs, BBQ American sausages and soft cobs topped with cheese.

While the potatoes were cooking I gor a bit more of the Marissa’s Barmy Blogger Band graphic done.

Then tucked into the nosh. Rated this one at 9.49/10.

Main5At last set about putting the last touches to Marissa’s graphic and here it is.

Posted it of with a bit of funny script added to it. Here’s a bit of it: