* * * * *

Thursday 24 March 2016

Horrible sense of not belonging when I woke up? A feeling that I wasn’t here, but watching myself, and I hated what I saw?

Perhaps this was due to a dream I’d been having, but I could not remember it at all, just a sensation that I’d had it?

I started shaking on and off, not shivering, shaking, shuddering? It stopped and was replaced with a panicking about everything again, a lack of cohesion, guilty feelings and when I tried to get up, the dizzies hit me with a dangerous attack, and I sat down for a while.

I was worried about being worried. The mind slowly returned to action, and I escaped the morass of emotions and fears, but the odd shake kept on all day. Yet most times it was only for a few seconds at a time?

I got up, WC’d, made a cup of tea and took the medications.

I got the laptop on quickly and started this diary off to record what I could remember about the emotions and sensations I’d have just one through.

Sorry to start on a low-level, but I felt more like myself again. But still fretting in over everything in my mind.

I rang BJ to see if he was coming to the Social Hour. No answer, he might still be in bed, I’d not realised people sometimes are not morning folk me.

I’ve not been able to get hold of BJ for a fortnight now. I’ve phoned him a few times and called at his house twice without any luck. I hope he’s alright. If he doesn’t arrive today, I’ll text him to see how he is.

With not being able to talk to Steve Age UK and his no longer being able to assist me after the 30th, I think I’m all alone regarding help now. The reality of this started me off fretting again. I fear this may spoil the Social hour at the Comunity Hut for me?

I called BJ again and got through, he’s not coming again today. Bit sad about that, but still, he’s got his own family and commitments.The dizzies eased off, the sudden shakes got less often. I miss seeing him. It’s so nice when Duncan or BJ comes to see me.

I ventured to the porcelain to check the ailments. I would have done the BP and temperature checks, but I can’t find the machine! I remember cleaning it and putting somewhere safer where it will not get knocked so easily. How I can remember that, but not where I put it remains another mystery of the Ageing process.

The dizzies eased off, the sudden shakes got less often. I ventured to the porcelain to check the ailments. I would have done the BP and temperature checks, but I can’t find the machine! I remember cleaning it and putting somewhere safer where it will not get knocked so easily. How I can remember that, but not where I put it remains another mystery of the Ageing process.

‘Little Inchy’ was bleeding for the first time in a few days. Surely, if my INR Warfarin level is too high as it is, the blood should be thicker, so less bleeding should result? But the Haemorrhoids were also bleeding? as

I did some Facebooking and the email checks while I had time before the ablutions had to be done so as to get myself prepared in time for the Social Hour at the Comunity Hut.

Damned dizzies gave a few scares while I was on the laptop, them again in the bath.

Victoriously, no cuts, no Whoopsiedangleplops I exited the tub, prepared my attire and got the nibbles and photographs out ready for the Social Hours and made my way down the lifts to exit the premises. In the lobby, I realised I’d not got me hearing aids in, so returned up to the flat and put them in. (You’ve got to laugh surely, the times I do this!)

Back down and out to the Community Hut.A good few folks there already, mind you, I a bit late at having to go back for me hearing aid I suppose.

A good few folks there already, mind you, I was a bit late at having to go back for me hearing aid I suppose.

I went to hand out the photographs I took last week and had printed at Asda (Walmart; I didn’t hand the ones out that Asda had cut the heads off of!) And realised I’d left them in the flat Tsk!

Back to the apartment and collected them from near the door where I’d left then in the mistaken idea I would gather them departing the flat the first time I left it.

Back to the  Community Hut and handed them out.

Most of them seemed to have appreciated this gesture.

The meeting went so quickly by, it was soon time for me to kicked out.

Toni, the girl from Winchester Court, who had lost her purse at the Nottingham Arena last week, was still in good form, though. A very sharp Senior Citizen lady.

Bless her cotton socks.

I made my way back to the flats and noticed a washing machine was free in the Laundry Room, so I nipped up and got the laundry ready.

Down with it to the room, and noticed Lily was in the foyer, and she asked if I had any nibbles for her.

I got the washing in the machine and going, and told Lily I’d be back shortly with some nibbles for her; she wanted to know how long I’d take. I told her four minutes. She smiled and said she was waiting for her carer to arrive.

She struggles most of the time Communicating with others and this makes some of the them try to avoid her. It’s not her fault.

I got down again with some nibbles for her and my crossword book and waited for the dryer to complete its hour-long cycle. I did my best to intrigue Lily in the crossword. She did show a bit of interest today.

Her carer arrived, and they went up to her flat.

Eventually, I emptied the dryer, cleaned the filter and had a wipe around.

Packed the clobber in the bag and returned back up to the apartment.

I then returned done to the Laundry Room and collected my crossword book.

Done an awful lot of lift-riding today am I not? Hehe!

I got in the flat and then noticed a letter stuck in the box. It was another Anticoagulation Record Notification.

Put the clothes away and got the laptop on to save the details to the diary.

Found I’d got a new email from the doctors surgery telling me the same information, and telling me to contact the surgery to book my next appointment. They Hospital listed Tuesday 29th as the date for my appointment, so I emailed the surgery and asked for an appointment on Monday 28th, feeling sure they would not mind me being a day early. The level had dropped to 4.6 now, still 1.3 higher than the target, but going the right way.

Got an email back telling me Monday 28th was a Bank Holiday! (I did feel a fool again! Tsk) So I emailed the back asking for one for Tuesday late in the day, as I had an appointment at the clinic Tuesday 0800hrs, and that is why I asked for one in error for Monday. Ain’t life complicated sometimes? They sent one back confirming my appointment for Tuesday 19th at 12.35hrs.

I placed an order online from Morrisons for delivery Tuesday twixt 0730 > 0830hrs. Got some treats for the tenants meeting next Thursday. That reminds me, I must get to Asda and get today’s Social hour photographicalisations printed, might be going to see Sister Jane tomorrow, still waiting for an answer to my email request to go and see them, I’ll check me emails see if she’s answered yet, hang on.

No reply yet. If I do go to see her that takes out Friday to go to Asda, Saturday I might have another walk into Arnold to the store, can call in the park and see the ducks perhaps. It depends on if the dizzies stop or not. Mondays out because of the Easter holiday and Tuesday is booked with the Morrisons, the clinic, and the INR Warfarin Blood Tests? Wednesday I don’t expect to be in any condition for travelling; It’s the dentist for me. Two fillings and two root canal jobs. (Whatever that is?)

Got a pot of Lamb Hotpot opened and ready for cooking in the oven, lamb gravy seasoning in the pot ready to add boiling water to it, and the Country batch bread out of the freezer to thaw ready. Got the minced lamb hotpot in the oven and pressed  on with updating this waffle.

No dizzies for a few hours now. That’s good.

The fodder was as good as it gets.

Added some salted potato chips to the dinner.

Rated it as 9.45/10.

The bread that had with it soak up the extra gravy came out of the freezer, but it had kept well and tasted good.

Watched many hours of DVD and TV while waiting for the brain to let me sleep. The fretting returned, but the dizzies kept away.