Urgent: Whoopsiedangleplop avoiding advice for Senior Citizens

Inchcock SS (Senior Citizens) Brigade Urgent Advice


The Inchcock SS (Senior Citizens) Brigade caretaker, Inchcock Chambers, after having treatment on his torso, legs and lower regions for burns at the Queens Medical Centre ER department, would like to pass on a tip for other approaching-senility doddery old codgers.

That is: Do not store your bath salts next to the similar looking and shaped box of Bicarbonate of Soda you use to clean your toilet bowl!

Thank You.

Fri 11 Mar 16 – Inchcock Today: Friday, a foggy start…

* * * * *

CG poorly2Friday 11th March 2016

0350hrs, I stirred to semi-life and lay thinking of the dreams I’d had. Not nice ones, as usual, I was being chased again. This time through corridors in a brand new office complex, up and down the stairs through many floors. The lifts all had the same sign on them; “Cost: A trip up 5p per floor, down £1m per floor – Credit card payment accepted on Wednesdays only”? I had cleaning tackle all over me, brush, dustpan, dusters and a bottle of Morrison’s bleach in my pocket? A round shaped feather duster on my shoes? There were probably more, but that is what I could recall. Those pursuing me were all dressed formerly in suits with brightly coloured ties and a mobile phone in their hands? As each one caught me up, they just laughed poked me in the eye, then ran away? I wish I knew a dream analyser 

I wish I knew a dream analyser or reader. Humph! Perhaps not, though?

As I attempted to encourage the mass that was my body to move. I trod on the headphones; that were at the end of them then! Good start, Tsk!

Got to the WC, ‘Little Inchy’ needed decoking, cleaning and creamed to stop him bleeding again. I’m  bit bothered with this.,

Arthur Itis, Roger Reflux and the back were not too bad at all, but Anne Gyna was giving some elbow.,

Made a cuppa and took the medications, got the laptop on. Yesterday, I emailed the surgery to make an appointment for the next INR blood test for the date on the result sheet from the previous one, for the morning of Mon 21st March. I felt confident that with them giving me a week free, and the date CG poorly2so far away, that I would easily get a morning appointment. Their return email arrived. They gave me one for 1300hrs! Swines! They know that I fade early in the day nowadays too! I think they are going off me yer know? The nurse makes a mess of my last blood test, they tell me to see the chemist about when the following medications are due, and now can’t fit me in for a morning appointment and they have two weeks notice? Swines! Dummkopfs!

Still, it doesn’t bother me in the least. 01W01

Then I got the Diary for Thursday finished and posted, and started this one off.

P1050166Had a bash on Facebook. Then got carried away a bit doing graphics for a later post. (Three hours, Tsk!)

As I got ready to my ablutions, I noticed the fog was lifting now.

Carried out my decontamination procedures with the following results:

  • Taking off my clothes and putting them in the laundry bag, banged left knee on WC porcelain.
  • Getting into the tub, nearly had a Whoopsiedangleplop.
  • Bathing ‘Little Inchy’, the blood flowed. Managed to stop it.
  • Getting out of the bath, oh the pain! Cramps had started. Tsk!
  • Drying ‘Little Inchy’ ready for creaming, the sore started leaking again! Huh!

Got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, my shopping bag, wrapped up well and set off on a little walk through Woodthorpe Grange Park and into Sherwood. Threw my rubbish bags down the waste chute, got to the lifts, and went back to get my hearing aid in. Humph!

P1050167Down and out up the gravel hill to the park. 

The beauty of the skyline did impress me enough to take a photograph of it.

All the fog had cleared, and it was getting warmer I thought. Odd that for so late on in the day?

On the walk down the path to Mansfield Road, I espied a wood-pigeon high in the leafless trees.P1050168

Took a photograph of that too – but this time, I found out later, it had been taken in mono?

I suppose I did something wrong, caught a button or something? Not that it mattered, ’cause it was a horrible effort!

Onward up the hill and over into Sherwood, where I tried out the camera again.

P1050169Suddenly I realised that the bird one was not in mono, the grey sky and dark tree branches?

I called into the Co-op store and got a potato for baking and a lamb and potato ready meal. Then down to he Hospice shop, gave them the books and DVD’s and bought yet another Morecome & Wise book from them.

As I was checking the bus times and decided to walk back, a Git of a Pavement P1050170Cyclist nearly had me… Grrr!

Wondered back to and through Woodthorpe Grange Park, and a lot more people were using it now, I stood while and watched the dogs taking their owner for a walk. Hehe!

Low and behold, another damned Footpath cyclist nearly had me here, too! Then he swerved between some other people and I could see they were not impressed as they shook their fists at him as they gave him some verbal P1050171advice.

Good for them!

We ought to form a Vigilante group with mini-stingers!

On the way down the gravel footpath to the flats, it seems there had been something going on animal-wise. A load of white feathers or down were near the bench, which was not there P1050172when I went up the path earlier?

Back to the flat and I remembered I had to do a wrist alarm battery check with Nottingham City Homes Response place.

So I did; The line was engaged! Huh!

Got the laptop on, and Grammarly had stopped working. I exited WordPress and opened it again, no luck, still no Grammarly. So I closed and opened Google, then WordPress, no Grammarly access? Pee’d off now, I tried restarting the laptop and into Google, then WordPress, and it started working again. Flibblewoksticks!

Got the nosh cooking, and caught up with this diary.

P1050173The fodder came out alright, Lamb hotpot with extra gravy, potato farls, beetroot and some nicely and well done roasted vegetables.

A pot of dessert I was going to have with it, I found in the morning unopened at the side of my broken 1959 imitation leather armchair.


I rated this one at 9.45/10.TV – book

Did the washing up and I watched Heartbeat on the TV, tried to read my book, but couldn’t keep awake.