It’s Been a Funny Old Life – Part Six: Confessions of the Alcohol years!

The Alcoholic Years?

001The Start:

Mackeson was the beginning of my downfall I’m afraid.

Mother dear, to make me stop crying and giggling while she was playing Bingo or studying the horses form, she found out if she gave me the dregs left over from Dads bottles of his Milk Stout it would do the trick.

Fair enough, I fell out of the pram a few times, but there you are.

 The hidey-hole!003

She soon extended this habit to meal times and evenings. Well, logical actually, it saved he having to make up bottles and washing the pots if she just filled my face with Mackeson.

It made her jubilant too, saving more time for nipping to the bookies and shoplifting.

I recall that when the police or debt collectors called, and we had to hide in the larder under the stairs, I usually got a bottle of Dad’s plonk stuck in my mouth. That worked too; I certainly learnt that if I started to pretend to cry when we were in the hidey-hole, I always got some plonk that amazingly stopped me making any noise every time!

002aMother got arrested

It had to happen, not that she got sentenced just a warning, but it meant she was away for a few days.or

During this time I was getting Mackeson withdrawal symptoms.

Why was Dad not quenching my ever growing addiction to the Mackeson? I was puzzled.

Then when Mother ran away to avoid being arrested again, I was in a right pickle. Cunningly I started asking Dad if I could go with him on his walks (To the pub, but then, I was not supposed to know like).

I was a cunning little dimple-cheeked rascal and soon found if I cried in the pushchair, he’s come out and give me a glass of shandy now and then. His mates when they saw me, used to top up the glass with some of their pints of ale, bless em.

005Finding females!

A few years later, the local older girls would start investigating my body, and demanding certain actions from me.

I had no idea why at first, but soon I was enjoying new experiences.

This, caused me to start using what money I had or could earn, to purchase some ale of my own. I was never sure at the time if I was drinking to invigorate myself or in celebration?

006Mothers return and The Move

Mater returned to the fold after being caught by the police and getting away with it all again! The three of us moved to a housing estate.I treated myself to my first little motorbike

I treated myself to my first little motorbike and almost stopped drinking at one point.

Then, about a year later one Friday night, I returned home from work and found the house in darkness. Got in, no electricity on, I wandered around in the darkness and discovered the house was empty of everything but the rented TV? Nonplussed and confused I actually opened the front door to see if I was in the right house – and there it was stuck on the door; An eviction notice! Nowhere to live, a neighbour came up and said she was looking out for me coming home so as to tell me about the eviction for none payment of rent by dear Mother again. She put me up for the night in her front room. The Saturday I got to work, and Mother called me to say she had found an ideal place for me to live in a lodging house. I pointed out that I had somewhere ideal to live until she decided to take the rent money from both me and Dad (Pair of suckers) and still not paid it!

I duly moved with my two suitcases to the new place. Sharing a bedroom with five other blokes, it was breakfast and evening meal at £5.5.0 a week, an awful lot in those days. Yet, I found it nice, as all the other lads were heavy boozers and I soon caught the flavour and habit. It wasn’t for three months that I found out it was an ex-prisoners dwelling.

007Promotion Arrives – With more cash being available now for me to support the breweries, Tsk!

I was then promoted to assistant manager and relief Manager at Tesco!

There was no stopping me then. Working long hours and days, out to the pub, back to the shop to work on restocking… it was a terrible grind, but the alcohol and being able to afford it lessened the blow somewhat!

008Danger: Marriage prospects arrived!

One of the girls at the Wimpey Burger Bar across on Granby Street in Nottingham seemed to take to me and fed me extras as she served me. Then it was a walk in Nottingham Castle grounds at lunch, bit of fondling and necking, and I was hooked!

Things moved quickly, and a deposit was put on a wedding dress, the banns organised at the church, I was all over the place mentally, but accepting it was going to happen. A flat was found, and it as when I was sorting this out, I got a message in the post; She’d decided to go back with her old boyfriend and was sorry!

That weekend the breweries profits were significantly increased!

009I was In and out of the Forces in double-quick time!

I made up my mind to join the RAMC.

Within weeks, they had decided I had failed the medical after all? Hernia bother they said?

I familiarised myself with the local breweries rather enthusiastically.

010Back to Nottingham

Tesco took me back on, and I joined a local Angling Club in Sherwood, where I was now living in a great ground floor flat.

This was, without any doubt, the highlight in my Alcoholic period. The lads were all the same, and I felt at home. Every night at the boozer or club, weekends angling matches followed by drinking competitions. We used to play dominoes or Tip-it, but none of us sober enough to bother now.

But I was happy, contended and uncaring about this!

011Grizelda comes into my life!

Never has emotions, desires and complete utter passion come into my life like this!

She was a solid big gal, an East German Police Officer over here to visit someone I knew from work. She had stone biceps, was a wonderful hairy thing, and I fell in love with her instantly!

We had such a fantastic three weeks together. The way she would throw me onto the bed then… well, never mind, we enjoyed each other as much as was humanly possible to.When

When she left it broke my heart, and bank balance as I then recommenced the drinking with a vengeance! Tsk!


Stopped the Drinking at last!

After my hernia lasering session, I stopped drinking.

It’s just as well because I might not have got through the bowel cancer and then the heart operations that followed.

Of all the things here, I only miss one, Grizelda Fruenburgher.


Thu 10 Mar 16: Inchcock Today – Community Social Hour this morning


Thursday 10th March 2016

Woke very late, gone 0430hrs. No signs of any dizzy thankfully. Arthur, Gyna, Hem Arroids and the ulcer were all in a good mood, only Roger Reflux was giving me any real hassle this morning.

No signs of any dizzy thankfully. Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna, Hem Arroids and the Duo Denal were all in a good mood, only Roger Reflux was giving me any real hassle this morning. And, no blood from Little Inchy either!

Remembered the Winwood Social Hut Meeting was on at ten o’clock (Looking forward to this!).

Noticed the large bag of washing, still awaiting my attentions. I must see if any machines are free after the ‘Social Hour’.

DSCN0054Got the laptop on. Made a cuppa and took the medications.

Out of Nicorandil, but the regular statins and beta-blockers were there. I must get to the GP surgery to try and get a prescription sorted.I know, I’ll email them now asking for one and check when this months dollop of medications will be ready for me to collect. Hang on a second

I know, I’ll email them now and ask for one and check when this months dollop of medications will be ready for me to collect. Hang on for a second, please. Got it done and sent via email.

Got the nibbles and gifts ready in the bag for the meeting.

Finished Wednesday’s Inchcock Today, and started this one off, then I had another session of starting the next ‘It’s Been a Funny Old Life’ Part 6.


I only got as far as doing some graphicalisationing, the header and some smudges ready to use later on, though. Had to get the ablutions done so as not to be late for the Social session.

P1050158Did the teggies, shaved, used the throne then got into the luxuriously doctored bath. When I around to sorting ‘Little Inchy’ out; Oh dear! The blood flowed and flowed, hell of a job stopping it. Used the Betamethasone cream, but it was ages before it stopped leaking the red stuff.

I must tell the GP about this and get another appointment at the GUM Clinic sorted out.

CG poorly2Then, as I was cleaning the bath after my scrub up and little soak, I noticed the bruising on the right arm where the Obergruppenfurher Nurse had used another vein after so long using the same one without any bother.

Also, a mystery burn mark on the back of the hand?

Confused about that one I am!

Off down to the Windwood Hut, not so many folks there this morning, but we all had fun and laugh. Gave the organisers some prizes for the raffle. Eddy, the 93-year-old chap we all love was absent, he’s had to go the doctors go for an inoculation. I won a mini-bag of Marshmallows, my hearing aid batteries both packed up and BJ arrived late (Fany that!).

I tried to use the Instax mini camera, but it would not work for some unfathomable reason. Tsk!

I gave some of the girls a small Smarties Easter Egg and I was tickled pink when they all said they liked them.

P1050159P1050160BJ reminded me he was lifting me to the Carpet place in Arnold after the gathering. He also offered to lift the 82-year-old lady we sit at the same table with, who was sat on his right today in this photograph. That was jolly nice of him!

I left a  few minutes early so I could get to the flat and put some new hearing aid batteries in.

I met BJ at the car park and then collected the lady from Winchester Court. Dropped her off on Mapperley top, and carried on to the carpet place. I got one for £20, no plain coloured ones available again.

BJ offered to lift me to Asda, also in Arnold so I ould get some bread.

We arrived in Asda car park, and BJ checked his tyre pressures while I went in the store. Where I got carried away once more; Got TV magazine, Irish Batch bread, Irish potato thins, several desserts including Lemon Sundae, Strawberry and Raspberry desserts and a ready meal of Lamb and Colcannon mash.

BJ ran me back to the flats, loaded me up with the bags and roll of carpet and departed, saying he might come again next week. I hope he does, cause the old dears like him now.

Deerhat1As I entered, I saw one of the washing machines was free; So I nipped up and put the things away, got the washing and accoutrements and went back down and got the washer going.

Then started to read my book. Lilly turned up, and luckily I’d got some chocolate coins in my pocket to give her, she expects some nibbles when she sees me now, in fact, she demands them, bless her cotton socks!

I moved the clobber into the dryer and went back up and started to update this diary somewhat, and titivated some of the graphics to use later.

Went down and the dryer had finished, packed the clothes into the bag and back up to number 72.

P1050161Did some more of this diary, but was feeling fatigued as usual. So I got today’s last of the lamb chops in the oven, to slowly cook through.

Put the baked beans in the saucepan ready. The Irish Batch bread at hand, to dip into the sauce and beans.

Just hope I stay awake long enough now. Hehe!

Did some Facebooking.

P1050162Finally, the fodder was ready. A simple fayre for a pure fool.

Baked beans, lamb chops, Irish Batch bread followed with a very lip-smackingly sweet Honey flavoured yoghourt.

The lamb chops, well, at least, one of them, was 70% bone – but what meat there was, was so tasty! The excessive amount of bone kept the rating down to an 8.9/10.

A Whoopsiedangleplop followed, well I say, Whoopsidangleplop. More a minor hiatus. I was looking at a terribly poorly made produced and performed DVD film. So bad, I decided to throw it away afterwards. It was an insult to prisoners in the concentration camps.

I watched some TV, and when I cleared up and took the rubbish bags and threw them down the chute and returned to the flat – I realised I’d thrown away the wrong DVD. James Bond and Miss Moneypenny had bit the dust! Hehe!

Got me head down, well I fell asleep watching Law & Order.

TTFN all.