Inchcock Today – Thursday 11 May 2017: Sister Jane & hubby Pete visited – Porcelain Throne Pebble-dashing Sessions were Rampant!


Thursday 11 May 2017

Dutch: Donderdag 11 Mei 2017

Sprang awake at 0300hrs, in dire need of the Porcelain Throne. The £300 second-hand recliner allowed me out easily enough, but as soon as the right foot hit the ground the pain began and simultaneously Dizzy Dennis and Duodenal Donald paid me a visit. What a start to the day! Felt right sorry for myself I did. Hehe!

2Tue05I’d got the equipment needed for the last of the three Bowel Cancer Screening samples and got it done, messily. All done, put in an envelope ready to post off later.

Got the washing and accoutrements and went down to the Laundry Room and got the machine going.Back to the apartment

Back up to the apartment. Another call to the Porcelain Throne… Haemorrhoid Harold was bleeding this time. Another mess to clean up.

Started to finish off yesterday’s diary.

Down to move the clothes into the dryer. Then out into the darkness.

Took the samples envelope and inserted it into the postbox and the two jars into the Bottle Bank.


Back up to the flat and carried out the Health Checks and took the medications.


The flipping weight has been going back up all this week – Sob! And I thought I was eating so much healthier, and there had been days when the ‘Trots’ prevented me eating?

4Thur06Down to collect the clothes from the dryer.

Found I had an odd sock again. After searching the machines, floor and dryers, I gave up on it and returned back up to the twelfth floor.


Got in, put the things in the airing cupboard and the ‘Trots’ forced me once again into the Porcelain Throne room! Another mess to clear and clean up and now I have more washing to do!

Dizzy Dennis gave me a turn. Getting concerned at his persistence lately.

Wondered if I should email or call Janet and Pete to cancel their visit in case I pass on whatever is causing my ‘Trots’ onto them? Oh, dear, the undecided mind confuses me. I didn’t call them. However, I am not sure if I’ve done the right thing and it is ages since I saw them and am looking forward to their visit so. Luckily they are shopping nearby today and found the time to call in to see me, ETA 1400hrs or thereabouts.

4Thur04The darned foot is no better. Limping along in pain all the time, but managing, even with the other ailments in unison with the foot.


Finished Wednesday’s and updated this diary.

Hello… off to the Porcelain Throne again, not good this.

Back in a bit, I hope. Giggling to self! Blimey, where’s it all coming from! Another messy session. The foot is causing hassle whenever I stand or walk: if I walk more than few yards Anne Gyna gets annoyed with me, Duodenal Donald is nagging away at me all the time; And now I can’t sit down without pains from Harry Haemorrhoid with the bottom now being so sore as well! I could do without Dizzy Dennis’s attentions as well.

Got some fodder being delivered later from Morrison’s. Cause I can’t go out until the last two parcels are delivered from Amazon. The raincoat and the shower curtain, the latter is due today via the Royal Mail. I’ll check the Email for any updates on delivery:


That’s interesting. The jacket/coat is due today and the keyboard letters that arrived yesterday are due today? Confused? I am!

Back again to the Porcelain Thone.

Went on WordPressing and then Facebook for a while before starting the cleaning in earnest, I wish there was an Ernest to do it for me. Haha!

Finished all the paperwork sorting first.

4Thur09The Morrison chap arrived.He kindly carried the things into the kitchen for me, nice bloke.

He kindly carried the things into the kitchen for me, nice bloke.

Only just enough room in the freezer, cause I bought a box of four large battered Cod, Birds Eye, on offer.The fridge is fullish now too.

The fridge is fullish now too.

Tackled the kitchen cleaning next – a bit of a job doing the trays, cupboards, cooker etc.

4Thur11Then I started on the windows next mission in the cleaning campaign.

I could not find the vinegar cleaner, even after a fifteen-minute search?

So I used the Dettol all Purpose one, it seemed to get it decent enough. Mind you, now it’s dried I’ve not yet examined it closely for any streaks. I’m good at them normally. Hehe!

Swept the floor and got the mop and bucket out. Looking alright now.

4Thur10Had a scan of the horizon.

Polished the second-hand 1962 Hopewell’s cabinet thingy that the computer is on.

So tired now, so I just gave the carpets a quick bash with the vacuum cleaner.

The deliveries arrived from Amazon. They had sent two waterproof jackets not one? And sent some more alphabet letters? The shower curtain arrived, luckily they only sent one of these.

I decided to give Brother-in-law Pete one of the coats early for next Christmas, such a good price they were.

Updated this diary and then into the wetroom to do the ablutions. One more session of the Porcelain Throne being needed. Grumph!

All finished at 1325hrs, Jane and Pete arrived.

Nice to see them, but I dare not give Jane a kiss or shake hands with Pete and I warned them about the ‘Trots’ contamination risk factor on arrival – in fact during their one-hour visit, I had to utilise the Throne at least eight times.

I asked them if they could ring the Insurance people to change my address on the policies. After much kerfuffle, Pete got it done for me. They are going to send the next lot to the old address to let it be forwarded to me here as a security measure.

In between nipping to the Porcelain Trots Treatment Throne (I like that, hehe), I gave them their nibbles and pressies and, they had a brew. Pete seemed to like the coat, although he forgot to take it with him when he left. Not sure what we gossiped about, my head was in a muddle over the effects of the repeat visits to the Porcelain Trots Treatment Throne.

Said my fond farewells to them and back into the Porcelain Trots Treatment Throne room, feeling really bad now, poor old thing. So nice to have a visit.

Realised they had left the coat and rang Jane, told to keep it safe until winter when he needs it. So I will. Had a laugh about something or other.

05Thu12Got the meal ready.

I left the Lemon Curd yoghourt, cause I thought it smelt a bit off?

Could have been because of the sinus’s affected by the Trots?

Did the Health Checks, during which I had to stop to pebbledash the porcelain three times!

Thought things had started to settle down innards-wise (Fool)!

5Fri01Took the medications with an extra ADR capsule. 

Got the head down, feeling dizzy a few times, but I did nod off relatively soon. 

Then, 0150hrs all hell let loose! 

I spent over two hours carrying out Pebbledash sessions to relieve the cruel innards and cleaning me and the WC between each visitation. The stomach grinding and rumbling away, a damned good job I have plenty of kitchen towels in stock.

Took another ADR capsule in desperation to help stop the prolonged pain and most extreme uncomfortableness that had the innards and dizzies battling each other. Truth is, between visits at one stage, the WC did not have time to refill before I was back on the throne and splattering more pretty heavy blood-brown patterns on the porcelain!

This seemed to be easing off slightly around 0300hrs. Still the feeling of dread of a restart, I filled some buckets with water just in case. Still the odd little spluttering. The thing that concerned me was the amount of blood in there. Although thinking about it, Haemorrhoid Harry had had a good bashing over the last 36 hours, so maybe this is to be expected.

Updated this tosh again.

Damn it, here it comes again…

0310hrs: Decided to stay up on the computer so as to be near and ready for any further a attacks!


6 thoughts on “Inchcock Today – Thursday 11 May 2017: Sister Jane & hubby Pete visited – Porcelain Throne Pebble-dashing Sessions were Rampant!

  1. I certainly hope things dry up for you soon. Weight could be due to water retention. So you have a missing sock? When I put away the laundry and discover I have a missing sock, Laurie wonders if it’s missing how can I have it, when I obviously don’t have it, but either way a sock is missing. I think the dryer eats socks, not sure how two socks can go in the dryer and only one come out, if the dryer is not eating them.

  2. Weight right down this morning Sir?
    The ‘Missing Sock Syndrome’ confuses me too, Tim. Why can I never find the other sock that supposedly was left in the flat somewhere? Is it a plot by someone for some reason? The Freemasons or Knights Templar?

  3. I hope the trots ease off soon. Have you been drinking more water? The increase in dizzies might actually be related to dehydration from the frequent semi-solid release. Could be low on electrolytes too (which can actually be made worse by rehydrating with water alone), like salt & perhaps potassium. Maybe this is helpful <3

    • Thanks, petal.
      I have been drinking more, tea, water and flavoured spring water, and I’ve been eating more iced-lollies?
      I must get something to eat proper today. The salt you mentioned, is it a good idea to put some vegetable stock in the potatoes instead of salt please?
      This morning I’ve had to respond to the Trots eight times in two hours, but far less amounts? I’ve not tended the porcelain throne now for an hour and a half, so I think it might be easing off, although the innards are still rumbling away?
      Hey-ho, I can’t wait to get out for a hobble and talk to someone.
      Hehe! Cheers and have a good un. XXX

      • The vegetable stock probably has more electrolytes that you need in it than the salt would, so it is likely a better choice <3

  4. Not that I understand electrolytes gal, but thanks for the tip. I’ll use it today ta. Hehe!
    I think we just had an electrolyte visitation here… Thunderless Lightning!
    TTFN pet. XXX

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