The Security control room called me at home, asking me to go to a large Derby electrical retailer, who’d been hit the night before and needed emergency cover.

I asked if I could use a company mobile but no. So I went in my Skoda Estelle.

I set off, finding the famous (and now defunct) Powerhouse store, on a retail park, right next to one of their competitors (Comet- also now defunkt). Good Britain innit?

The raiders had blasted their way through a breeze block wall, and exited the same way, with many thousands of pounds worth of TVs, videos, etc. The wall had been temporarily blocked up, but could not be properly secured until the Monday.

I was given the door codes (no keys), and told to stay in the shop area at all times (where the damaged wall was and the kettle and WC was not), and not to stay in the kitchen area.

The staff departed about 1845hrs, and I took a look around to familiarise myself with the layout. Then made a flask of tea, and brought it along with my sandwiches, into the shop area, settling in a chair at the inquiry desk, facing about 60 TV screens all on showing the same channel, and surrounded by shelves of radios, toaster etc.

Around 1900hrs came a knocking at the back door!

It was the manageress who had forgotten to take some paperwork with her.

She went into the back office to collect them, then returned to the shop to ask me to release her, during which she said; “You can change the channels if you want to, the remotes are in that draw” Pointing to a draw in the desk where I had been sitting.

Off she went, and I delved into the remote controls, there were about a hundred or so in the draw.

After managing to get about 15 of the TV’s on different channels, loud alarms began ringing from one of the shelving units. I eventually located the source of the alarm on the radio display shelves, and realised that a code was needed to deactivate/silence the horrible grating noises.

Without the code, all I could do was press ‘silence’, and after about three minutes the klaxon’s bells and sirens would start again!

Our Officer in the Control Room, name of Bob was ever alert as usual…

Having no contact numbers for the firm’s staff, I rang our Control Room, asking them to try and contact the Manageress, and get the required codes for me to use.

It was well gone midnight when they rang back with a 4 digit code, by which time I was on the verge of insanity with the hours of the noise and pressing the silence button every three minutes!

I put the code in – after which the noise started again, and did not stop again until the arrival of the staff at 0730hrs in the morning!

A good job no one broke in that night, because I was so disorientated with the hours of noise, I would have been no use at all.

The Manageress explained that she had given the wrong code, and laughed about it.

Funny?

I had to sit in the car for ages until I felt clear headed enough to drive.

When I got home, control rang asking me to go back to the same store again that Sunday night, for 16 hours shift, 1600hrs to 0800hrs!

On arrival at the store, I made sure I was given the correct codes for all of the alarms in the store (Better late than never).

I was sat there, about 2300hrs, watching dozens of channels on the TVs, when I heard a thudding noise, although it sounded a bit distant, I thought I’d better investigate.

I opened the back (side) door, and gingerly peered out up and down the alleyway, although I could see nothing untoward, the thudding noise was clearly coming from nearby, and it suddenly stopped, and I heard voices shouting. I boldly marched (actually, I crept up) up the alleyway to the parade of shop fronts, to see two vehicles and a several scrotes loading stuff from Comet into one of their vans.

I called the emergency services, and tried to get a good description of the vans and crooks for the police.

I informed my control, knowing that there would be a few keen, alert security officers just eager to come and give me some back-up…

Within minutes the police squad cars flew into the car park, and the offenders scattered – unfortunately two of them towards where I was peeping put from the alleyway.

I retreated in through the back door, as I tried to close it behind me. There was pressure from the other side trying to force it open as I tried to close it!

A managed to hold them off for a minute or so and verbally advised them to go forth and multiply…. they burst in through the door knocking me over.

Turns out it was the police, who saw the yobs running into the alleyway, then saw the door being closed as they entered the alleyway, and assumed it must have been the crooks going in through the door.

Well that seemed to have been the general consensus of why the police Alsatian had bitten me leg.