The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Security Guarding Woes
The Tunnel Chase: A rare Victory – Well… when I say victory…
I was assigned to an out of the way Brick making company just outside of Nottingham. The site was spread over three square miles on the brow of a hill between two roads.
At the bottom. the offices, then the storage park, the massive workshops, then mud up to a tunnel with a conveyor belt, that I could walk through up to the gigantic waste tip at the top of the hill for patrolling/responses.
It was a Saturday night, the only night there was no workers at the plant. I was on a spot patrol up at the tip, checking the gates there.
As I turned to make my way back to the conveyor tunnel, I spotted a bloke doing a runner into the tunnel – the chase was on!
I RT’d control as I pursued the intruder, asking for back-up.
As I reached the entrance to the tunnel, I slipped on the wet mud, and slid down on my rear-end at great ever increasing speed and pain.
My RT, torch, hat, and dignity were lost on the slopes of that tunnel.
As I exited the bottom of the tunnel, my heart jumped as I was launched into the air.
I landed on the intruder.
As we struggled on the ground, the night manager (who had external gate keys) arrived on the scene, quickly followed by the police.
They apprehended the youth, and said they have called an ambulance for me, how did I feel?
When I realised they thought I’d bravely tackled the intruder through heroism and dedication, I did not want to lose that rare moment of praise.
We went to the gatehouse to sort out the paperwork etc, and there I noticed in the mirror that I did look injured, with all the red mud/dust I’d picked up on my bum-ski down the tunnel, had made my face look injured.
I convinced them that I was alright, just a few bruises and nicks. They cancelled the ambulance, and I continued to relish the part of being the hero.
The police left, and I went to the gate to see off the night manager, secured the gate, and got back to clean myself up and get on with my duties.
One of which, was to start the kiln at 0500hrs.
Could I find the keys?
It took me hours searching that bloody tunnel before I found them, started the kiln late and got a rollicking from the manager for me bother!
I stirred about 030ohrs – WC (no blood but plenty of pain), made a cuppa, started laptop put heater on.
Angina bad, arthritis fair, ulcers, blue bruises and aches from me Whoopsiedangleplop abating nicely.
Finalised yesterday’s diary and posted it.
Laptop making odd bleeping noises? Maybe my catching the flippin’ ‘unturnoffable’ touch pad had caused it?
Did me contributions for LOMM.
Then Facebooked a bit, keeping an eye on the time so I’m not late for me Queens Medical Centre INR tests.
I’m not feeling in the slightest bit anacreontic this morning.
I had to attend to the back passage again – yer know like, clean up the blood and tenderise the little mites with the cream, had a dizzy while doing this… it’s the revealing of little every day facts like this that keep me going yer know? Hehehe!
Got the bag of goodies ready for the nurses at the QMC and one for the staff at the clinic. Then made sure I’d got me hearing aids in, right glasses on me nose, angina tabs, blood swabs, right shoes and clothes on, bird seed, mallard earthworms, medications and hearing aid fresh batteries with me etc. and proudly set off to catch the bus to town.
Buy Jiminy it were colder than I thought when I set out, the cars and road were still covered in a thick jack-frost.
I got to the end of the road and realised I’d not got me mobile phone with me so returned and collected it. (Thought I was doing well like – Tsk!)
Off again, fed the pigeons while I thought no one was looking and caught a bus into town – a very full bus with a big bloke sat on one seat with his bag on the one next to him and people standing! Couldn’t believe it – I approached him and asked him nicely to move his bag so an elderly lady could sit down. He started using broken English and smiling but was not getting the message – I picked up his bag and put it on his lap – this he didn’t like and suddenly spoke perfect English to admonish me… luckily this triggered some other passengers on the bus to offer me support and he gave up and put it back on his lap – fuming openly! The lady thanked me for intervening bless her. I’m just glad that he didn’t get physical because he wont half a big un… Phew!
I gorroff the bus and nipped into the Poundshop to get a pack of the cheapo Lion bars.
Out and across the road and caught a bus out to the Queens Medical Centre – and remembered en-route I had forgotten to take me Anticoaguation card with me – Blimey what will I forget next? No problem though I thought, plenty of time before the clinic appointment. I’ll nip up the D floor and get a copy from the Anticoagulation clinic first – they seem to accept the fact that I’m going gaga and don’t say too much about it when I forget more often than take it with me on me appointment days recently, bless them.
Feeling a bit ‘Not-as-well-as-I-should’ like, I took the lift up today – eventually!
Not having used them before, I got in the first one to arrive, nobody warned me of the scrum skills one needs to survive the experience against the opposition squad lift users team.
Anyroad, it went down to A (I was on B), thinking it would to go up then, it did to B, then down to A, then up to B, then down to A, then up to back to B – despite my pressing the D floor button. Everyone who fought their way into it got off without a word, I assumed after growing a beard that this lift must be dedicated to use between these two floors – but why the other floors option buttons?
So I abandoned the lift and waited for another. This one got me to D floor – I’d almost forgotten why I was going to D floor by now… Hehe.
I went in and joined the queue, and when my turn at the reception came the lady looked up saw me, cocked her head to one side and gave me her standard look that said clearly “Oh dear him again” – I didn’t have to explain why I’d called. She asked if I’d got me Alert Card with me – I had and handed it to her and she printed of a new record card for me. I have to keep the Alert Card with me at all time and show it any medical professional before being treated – so they don’t kill me with aspirin or whatever. This is the lady that kindly printed me a spare card a few weeks when I lost the one I had saying: “I’ll print off a spare for when you lose this one…” Bless her cotton socks.
I limped down the stairs rather than risk the lists again to B floor.
There were many folk in the queue and I took me ticket and sat down to fill in me form… taking a crappily took photo of them from behind first.
Now more bother and hassle dawned – I realised that I should not have attended today – I knew as soon as I saw next Mondays date on the newly printed Record Card yer know – I pick up on things like that… eventually sometimes!
What a class one dick-head with bar I am!
Feeling rather embarrassed and ashamed of meself again – I walked into the blood room and gave the nurses their nibble carrier bag and told them wot I’d done – it says a lot that none of them said owt, just accepted it as normal like? Oh dear.
The next bit of hassle then came:
Phoning the clinic to see if I was due there today. Luckily I had the number in me mobile – but could I understand what whoever answered the phone was saying? No! Luckily a woman stood next time heard my difficulties wot I was having and took the mobile and spoke for me asking them wot I asked – No clinic today, it’s next Tuesday! I thanked the lady profusely and red faced I left the hospital.
Which is not the place I expected to see any Nottingham Canine Street Art really. But there it was about twelve foot from the hospital entrance.
I thought I’d catch a bus into Bulwell and go and see if any of the freezer shops had got any of me favourite blackcurrant and ice-cream lollies in stock yet. They hadn’t.
Soon caught 35 Bus into Bulwell, and had a go at me crosswords en-route, even managed to get a few answers to some I’d started weeks ago.
I assembled all the photos I took in Bulwell Market of the mobility scooter drivers here in the short while I visited.
Only two of them threatened me today, bad enough – but what really wrangles is they didn’t even notice!
Back to the Diary proper:
I got off of the bus at Bulwell bus-station and as I stepped off the curb to cross over to the river Leen to see if any mallards were about to feed like – I slipped off the curb.
This did not stop me crossing over to the river Leen to see if any mallards were about to feed like – I just did it with a slightly more pronounced limp than usual as the graze on me ankle bone bled a bit. Huh!
There were only a few of the mallard ducks about, the river was flowing very fast and the wind was bad. They seemed very nervous today.
I’ve noticed that in these conditions often they are absent all together, but I gave them a few handfuls of meal-worms and quacked back their thanks.
I found there was none of me favourite lollies available on sale anywhere.
Had a walk around looking in the cheapo shops – at Fulton’s they had some of the pots of instant mash in again so I got a few, and some Honey flavoured yoghurt.
I was soon back at the Bus-station waiting in the queue for the bus back to Carrington – where a bit of hassle took place, but not for me.
A rather mephitic verbal argument took place between two women.
I was intrigued and tempted to catch the next bus and listen in on their…er discussion, but decided with my luck today best not to.
Soon got back to Carrington and as I walked from the bus-stop over the hill, I saw an opportunity to try and take another ‘Atmospheric picture’ of down the hill on Hucknall Road. The shadow cast by the old tree did it for me.
When I’d got into the hovel, WC’d and made a cuppa I started the laptop to down load the photo’s I’d taken – but the last one was not as good as I intended. I took the opportunity to try using me new Serif-draw package to see it I could do something with it to make it look a bit different.
I managed to make it look different but was not pleased with me effort overall though. But when I get time I’ll have a go again with Serif to see if I can master it like. It operates so differently to Coreldraw9 – well it operates without freezing like Coreldraw9 up to now! But I’ve not tried anything demanding of power on it yet.
Not all bad today though, the chip on the ankle is not bad at all, the arthritis is bearable, no bother at all from the ulcer, the piles are no worse than yesterday and not, I say not bleeding at this time, the new ticker is ticking only the angina is bothersome.
Made another cuppa and took me medications.
Tonight I plan to have microwave sausages, instant potatoes with cheese granules, yoghurt and a mug of tea.
Tongue-in-cheek little fib…
And to think that all Prince William and Kate Middleton had at there pad was a starter of dressed crab from Wales, accompanied with mini crab timbale (mousse), crayfish and prawns, described by one guest as “exquisitely delicious”.
A main course of lamb fillet from Highgrove “done three ways” followed, before being treated to a trio of mini-puddings of trifle, chocolate fondant and home-made ice-cream in brandy-snap baskets.
The meal, which lasted around two hours, was served with wines, thought to be from the Buckingham Palace and Clarence House cellars, described by another guest as “stunningly good” – a white Meursault Burgundy and Pomerol claret. Then the petit-fours and coffee.
I really don’t want to make them jealous!
When it came to noshing I realised I’d got me two beef and onion slices to eat within a days use by date, so had them with a pot of instant mash with cheese granules.