Inchcock Today: Sat 7th Feb 2015: Aching all over after yesterday’s Whoopsiedangleplop!

Saturday 7th February 2015


Photo of the Council’s old peoples flats – taken moments before me Whoopsiedangleplop down the muddy grassy knoll yesterday

Woke up and tried to find a bit of me body that didn’t ache or hurt… not an easy task this morning that.

Moved to the WC and the arthritis wasn’t too bad, but the angina kicked in straight away and from the agony from me rear it was obvious I needed to attend to me haemorrhoids and clean up a bit.

Left shoulder and elbow were stiff and tender and twinges from the neck reminded me of my Whoopsiedangleplop down the muddy grassy bank from yesterday.

Not sure if I should go out at all today, I’ve got… oh dear, now the fingers and hands have a visit from Arthur Itis. Typing is not easy when this happens with the digits.

I managed to get some kip last night though, fair enough I kept waking up every half hour or so, but at least I nodded off again.


Sufferin’ summat rotten!

No wonder I feel so tired but it might have been worse. Oh, me rear end feels like it’s on fire, and the involuntary little escapages of wind are accompanied with a venomous aroma again!

So glad I live alone at times like this.

A heavy duty call to the porcelain and boy did I suffer. Nearly read a whole book while painfully struggling to painfully perform my required functions… Oh dear me!

Not good this.

Put me muddied trousers from yesterday in me wash bag. The mud on the shoes was not hard enough to remove yet so left em till later. Put me jeans and old leaking shoes on. 

0603Started this diary, then did some Facebooking and visitations to the porcelain.

Got the nibbles, camera and clothes packed up for the Nottingham Hospice shop and set off on me short walk into Sherwood.

The sky looked just grey, but it was not cold the wind was low and somebody’s Rap music was filtering into the ether from their window.

0604As I walked up the hill I managed to catch a cyclist on the pavement who was riding towards me, the little monkey!

At least he had his reflective coat and safety helmet on in the event that he had knocked me over he could claim I should have seen him coming and not hurt himself. Huh!

0605I hobbled on, the knees ankles and bruised shoulder manageable, onto Mansfield Road and up the first hill and down near the library the traffic was queuing and horns a pappping.

Up the secnd hill and over the pelican lights to the other side of the road and into the Nottingham Hospice shop with the bits for them.

The ankle and knees were a tad worse now, not surprising really after yesterday’s slide down the hill in the mud is it?

I could smell the food coming from the shop that sells cooked food and was tempted in to try some providing it would be safe for me to reheat the nosh in the microwave when I got home cause it would take me a good while to get there from here. I joined the queue and just as I was about to be served – realised I’d left me money in the other trousers.

Sheepishly I left the shop and called at the cash machine to get some money out – felt a fool again when I could not remember me number… ah thought I it’s in code on me mobile phone I think – that too was in the old trousers.

First attempt at the code on the machine failed, buy now a battalion of cash seeking Nottingham residents were a-tucking, swearing and tutting at me…

Second attempt and got it, more to the relief of those in the queue behind me than missen.

So back to the shop for me hot nosh – the queue was even longer now, hey-ho.

Didn’t know what food was what cause no signs on them. When the lady came to serve me I had to ask what was what like – much to the displeasure of the same bloke behind me who I’d just kept waiting at the cash point!

I inquired if the chilli and roast potatoes I’d just purchased where reheatable in a microwave and getting a positive reply, I put me head down and made me way through the crowds who’d been waiting behind me, a tad red-faced – me being red-faced not the crowd like.

0607Started me walk up the hill back to Carrington and hey-ho three – I say three cyclists on the pavement riding at me!

When they’d gone passed I photographed the little varmints.

Onward up the hill and struggling now with the ankle shoulder and knees. (Mind you, I really would struggle without um eh? Hehe!)

0606I noticed the traffic coming from the City Centre was at a standstill all the way up to the top of the hill.

The car you can see turning went into the road immediately in front of the photo in an attempt to take a short-cut or alternative route to avoid the traffic jam.

Not a local driver I’d have guessed, as the road is a one-way road – and he was then travelling the wrong way!

I ambled on limpingly and slowly getting back to the flea-pit eventually.

WC’d, put me chilli-con-carni (Is that how you spell it?) and roast spuds in the microwave, made a strong cuppa and watched an old film on YouTube.

I really did enjoy that nosh with a few slices of bread and a lemon yoghurt. Not too hot like wot I feared it might be either. Superb!

Started doing this diary update.

Current Health Update:

BBC01Knees not too bad now – Hands bad – Shoulder not good – Angina bad – Wind lethal on Defcon3.

I managed to finish the graphic for me upcoming blog at last.

I beginning to wonder if my scaevity was a gift from God, inherited or punishment?

Oh dear… I’m considering upgrading me Lethal Emmissions of Wind to Defcon 2…

Inchcock Questions His Life: In rhyme?

Sad and depressed Inchcock thought with Venom and Zest about his life – In Rhyme!


Why when born his mother wanted to him disown?

Why so ugly, and doesn’t he know the meaning of homophone?

Why at five into the canal he was intimidatingly thrown?

Why is he so naturally accident-prone?

Why Mummy ran away leaving him and Dad alone?

Why his bother went into the army, his sister went off to Rome?

Why in later years he never tried methadone?

Why his Dad always refused to buy him a gramophone?

Why he didn’t what was a pheromone?

Why his deafness made other folk tut and groan?

Why did like the sound of the clarinet and saxophone?

Despite his musical ignorance he seemed to like the tone,

Why he never got fed food that was home grown?

Why he didn’t realise he’d no garden just grey stones?

Why his falling in love Cupid had to postpone?

Why he did he not understand this thing about the the ozone?

Why didn’t he like tripe, cow-heel and any currant scone?

Why was it him that always grazed his shin-bone?

Why did he look like a weasel and not Stallone?

Why others used him as a stepping stone?

Why was he short on testosterone?

Why for misery he’d make a perfect cicerone?

Why he had no cash, pounds dollars or krone?

Why for morbidity and depression he’d become best-known?

Why, how had he become the perfect boring drone?

Why he had become pathetic and he hadn’t known?

Why was he no longer the girl-pulling cyclone?

Why is he in pain from knees fingers shoulders & hipbone?

Why could he not have realised and foreknown?

Why can he not resist a chunter and miserable groan?

Why doesn’t he swear like others instead he says, I’ll be blown?

Why self-survival skills the idiot couldn’t hone?

Why when deaf does he have an old basic mobile phone?

Why does he live a solitary zombie like life alone?

Why has his maturity just never grown?

Why in an aeroplane has he never flown?

Why is he a wimp without any back-bone?

Why does he think he’ll one day be well known?

Like Galileo, but Inchy will remain forever unknown,

Why he isn’t destined to fame or to sit on the throne,

Why has he never tried and tasted zabaglione?

Why his emissions of wind are so very well known?

Why for his passed failures he cannot atone?

Why confidence and ability he does not own?

Why he fears reincarnation or someone making of him a clone?

Why he lacks social skills and has no backbone?

Why he seeks a social outlet microphone?

Why he wants someone to adopt him or take him on loan?

Why they keep attaching him to an osteophone?

Why cyclist on pavements he just cannot condone?

Why he’s cheered up now is not known…

Yes it is, BT Internet’s back working & he’s on his WordPress Zone!!!