It’s been a Funny Old Life.. Part 3 Updated

It’s been a Funny Old Life.. Part 3 Updated


I started with nothing, I’ve got most of it left.

At shoplifting Mother was rather deft,

Eventually they charged her with fraud and theft,

At this I wanted to cheer and wave a wheft,

But she got off with it, and I was bereft!


I left school, started working at just fourteen,

Mother reappeared on our then contented scene,

‘Cause for several years she’d hardly been seen,

This meant I’d be broke before I was fifteen,

After most of our valuables were never again seen,

Mother disappeared to stay with Auntie Eugene,

Who later also went bankrupt we did gleen,

It not that she was nasty, cruel or mean,

She’d just leave you without a flipping bean!


But she’s sadly missed by many you see,

By magistrates, solicitors and many P and DC,

There’s often times when comes back in me memory,

In me nightmares usually.


Dad knew for Mam’s next return I had no yearning,

And she would return when I started earning,

And when she did, things would be worsening,

Bank manager and wallet regretted her returning,

The neighbours got new locks, tongues were burning,

How to lock their doors they were relearning!


She told us she was a changed person nowadays,

She’d become kinder and changed her ways,

Having just avoided the judge sending her to Strangeways,

After with the police the pillock did liaise,

The magistrates let her off with probation – this did amaze,

And that meant the restart of Dads and my malaise,

She soon started selling t’neighbours none-existent holiday chalets,

We were really worried when she offered Dad praise,

She soon ended up back in her old ways.


Conning, shoplifting, bingo halls, fag-end collecting, even conned a solicitor,

She became locally famous for that one hereafter,

The magistrates this time, got even dafter,

Let her off again – in the courtroom there was much laughter!


They gave her a flat, and furnished it, believe that can you?

The rent they paid half of it for her, and the gas bills too,

Half of the electricity bills, and scrubbed her debts it’s true!

Arranged for her flat to be decorated and furnished all through,

As she left the Court, she smiled widely and off she flew,

I imagined her inwardly shouting “Yabbadabbadoo”!

And Crime Don’t Pay some idiot will tell you!


I suppose I’ll meet her again in heaven maybe I think so a bit,

I’d better prepare for when I go and snuff-it,

I’ll spend all me dosh now, before she can get her hands on it!

Bless Her – See yer in a bit Mam!

Mon 17 Aug 2015: Inchcock Today: Medicationalistical activities

Monday 17th August 2015


Off on me way to hospital today, well it cheers the nurses – Hehe!

0200hrs: Woke slowly – the dreams I’d had fresh and worrying in me mind – by the time I got up and visited the porcelain those memories were gone completely. I hate it when that happens!

Another bloody bloody visitation – ‘Little Inchy’ so sore and leaking, back passage the same. I’m getting fed-up with this!

Made a cuppa, opened laptop and got morning medication pot out ready for later. Made sure me INR record log was in me pocket ready, along with me bus-pass and camera.

Did me LOMM site posts while I had the chance, then posted yesterdays diary off.

Made  cuppa, took me medications and Facebooked for ages and ages.

41T1 Did some graphics fer the TFZ site.

It took me ages to get them something like right, but I do enjoy making them for the TFZers and me Cyber-pals.

Best thing I did in a whole it was to get the newer (very expensive) Coreldraw x7 suite and the new (Then) laptop so I can make use of the power of the programme like.

SuzFlingWC’s and doctored the bleeding parts of me anatomy.

Hehe, wot a life!

Another cuppa then I got a good scrub-up and freshening missen a bit.

Checked to make sure the nurses nibbles and camera was in the bag and bus-pass, INR form and mobile phone in me coat pocket ready for me trip to the Queens Medical Centre tests.

Had a natter with some of the other tenants at the bus-stop – the caught the L9 bus into town, again proving the value of me Free Pensioners Bus Pass.

Dropped off in the City Centre and made me was to catch another bus out to the QMC fer me tests.

The team in the haematology department were all new to me – and the other four people and every one but one of the six nurses were not English. Nice people though.

IMG_0054Came out and made me way to the bus stop back into town. Took a photo of the crowds going into the hospital.

Ahem… on the left…

Got into town and thought I’d see if i could get any of the working socks like last time from Primark, they were comfy they were.

IMG_0053I noticed on me way to the store, the wicker displays had had flowers planted in them now.

I thought the  high-heeled shoe one was worth photographing.

Got into Primark but they did not have any of the type of socks like wot they had in stock last time I called in – shame.

IMG_0055The crowds on me way to the store were a bit large for a Monday.

Still, if yer collapsed going down this Clumber Street, yer wouldn’t hit the floor cause of all the shoplifters… no, no, sorry… Nottinghamians I meant to say like.

IMG_0056I poddled into the town’s Slab Square where the Nottingham Beach and boating pool was well attended, despite the lack of sunshine.

Caught the L9 bus back to the flats and took advantage of me getting seen to early at the hospital and gor me washing ready to take down t’laundrette room.

Started the washing machine off and returned up to the flat to use the WC. Put some letters in me bag to take to the Community Hut/Shed that had been delivered for Margaret, the previous tenant, when I got downstairs sadly someone had dropped off a letter for a lady tenant before whoever left it, the lady had passed away last week.

That makes three this month as far as I know of, two in Woodthorpe Court and one in Winchester Court – by gum we’re dropping like flies. Hehehe!

I got the togs out of the washer and into the drier and for some reason it didn’t start, so I had to pay again, this time it started okay.

I popped to the Community Shed and Obergruppenfurher Kommander Julie was in – but that didn’t scare me at all. FibMode I gave her the letters and a choice of nibbles from me bag.

IMG_0058On me way back to Woodthorpe Court, I caught a squirrel as I turned the corner and managed to get a shot of it on the concrete slabs at the end of the complex near the entrance to the woods.

IMG_0057Got back to the washing room and read me book for a while (Can’t find me crossword book anywhere?).

When I went into the room to see if the drier had finished there was water on the floor, not from anywhere near the drier mind? Nipped up to the flat and got some towel to dry it off in case anyone slipped on it, but it remains a mystery as to where it came from?

The drier did its usual good job, togs in bag, back up to flat, togs in airing cupboard, then back down to the laundry room to collect me book. Huh!

Back up t’flat (Good job the lift ain’t broke today).

IMG_0059Got some chips int oven, and made me nosh, again I enjoyed it – but then I sank into depression for the rest of the night.

Suddenly gripped with anxiety over not getting things sorted at the old place.

Took me evening medications.