Words of Wisdom from Algernoon Epaphroditus Inchcock 1894 (Gerry’s great great Grandfather) In Rhyme (Of sorts)

Go fortheth with caution as you begin life,

It’ll be full of hum-drumness, with trouble and strive,

Keep yourself fit for your maidens, perhaps soon, your wife,

But getteth as much rump-pumpy and nightlife,

And sexual encounters aplenty, nightly or twice,

No work tommorow? them make it thrice!

If you seek the young flesh of a buxom lass,

Gereth in there, be as bold as brass,

Treat her reet, and fill her wineglass,

Don’t rush the removal of her girdle,

Caress her as you manipulate her petticoat,

If it’s the bosses lasseth though, beware,

Do not let him catcheth you both sweaty and bare!

No keyhole peeping at the bosses maiden,

Whetheress she’s big, little, celibate or even single,

Cause ifeth the chief catches you, with passion ladened,

And the pair of you about to comingle,

You’ll getteth the sack for your intermingle,

They’ve been know to kill servants and bury them in the dingle!

If you show your remorse, throw yourself in the Master’s lake,

Then beggeth his forgiveness for heaven’s sake,

You show you are regretful and afternoonified,

A smile and gigglemug you should adopteth,

Or he may have you flogged, or even toppethed,

Quoteth the Bible, mention forgiveness and Jepheth,

Offer to take lower wage, 3 pence a week down to a peneth!

Afore you join the other servants to be at mirth, it must be agreed,

Make sure you can handle botheth the wacky-baccy and Mead!

Before ale intake makething sure, you have pee’d,

Enjoy your yearly dayeth off, and Godspeed.

If you getteth ill, visit the local apothecary.

 

Inchcock Today – Friday 10th November 2017: A pernickety day. Humph!

Oh, sorry, there are three interloper friends and me in it!

Friday 10th November 2017

Hmong: Hnub Friday 10 Kaum Ib Hlis 2017

0055hrs: Stirred into imitation life. Pandiculated and got complaints from Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna for my efforts.

Pondered on what bits I could recall of the dream I had been having. I was lost in a three-storied pantagruelian abandoned factory… running up decaying stairways, falling through holes without harming myself, searching seemingly without knowing what I was trying to find? And I wore pyjamas and my old fishing wellingtons from 1970!

Slowly, the rumbling innards got through to my brain, as I was disentangling my flabby body-mass from the £300 second-hand recliner, I noticed many signs of Nocturnal Nibblings! Two empty mini-cheese packets, biscuit crumbs and two chocolate peanuts which had welded themselves between the folds in my horrendously wobbly belly. Tsk! And off to the Porcelain Throne session. Messy enough for me to take another ADRC capsule afterwards with the morning medications. Cleaned up, and into the kitchen to do the Health Checks and take the medicines. Seems like a lot of variations this week. Ups and downs, like.

Made a mug of tea and got the computer on.

Got the Thursday post finished and posted off.

Then started on this one, getting up to hear, when I could hear noises – I put in the hearing aids and walked about trying to identify the noise that sounds a bit like something being dropped or falling. Surely, no one would use the refuse chute at 0249hrs in the morning? It seemed to be coming from different sides of the building at the same time, repeatedly for five minutes or so, then stopped? I hoped that the scaffolding had not collapsed somewhere. The sounds seemed to be coming from internally. Still, they have finished now.

Caught up on Facebooking next.

The computer slowed to a crawl again. Turned everything off and rebooted.

Made and sent a TFZer photo-graphic off.

Then I went on to the WordPress reader. A lot of excellent thought provoking stuff today.

Onto CorelDraw. Made some graphics tops for the upcoming diaries. Spent hours on the other TFZer ones.

Got the ablutions done and all dressed up warmly. Made sure I had the Audio Clinic Book with me, umbrella, collapsible walking stick, camera, mobile phone, bus pass, bank card, crossword book, the right glasses on my head, the hearing aids in the lug-holes and empty jars for the recycling bin and set out to the bus stop. Dropped the jats in the brown bin. It looked to me like the workmen were taking down the scaffolding?

Down to the hut and dropped off some nibbles for the Obergefreiteress Wardens, and on to the bus stop. A lady (Annette I think) there, and she was giving everyone who arrived a Christmas Card, bless her. The Bestwood Bus came and went, and only Annette and I got on the City bound one.

Getting onto the bus Dizzy Dennis came on instantly, no usual few seconds warning this time.  The disequilibrium and giddiness only lasted a couple of minutes, but this left me feeling a little perturbed. Especially as strangers already on the bus, and the driver asked if I was alright and told me I went pale and white suddenly.

Annette gave some cards out to people who got onto the bus later!

Off the bus and through the Slab Square to the audio building. Only to find the yhad no Audiologists on site today?

Well, that annoyed me, after all the hassle of getting there. I gave the lady a sweet smile and said: “Ah-well, not to worry, I’ll call again later” Why I said this, I have no idea.

I went to Fletcher Gate and into the Pound World shop to see if I could find any of the screw-top storage tubs or chocolate nougat. I found neither, but came out a considerable amount of money spent!

They had some Tetley’s Extra Strong tea bags at 80 for £2, so I bought the last two boxed on the shelf. Some nibbles and sweets for raffle prizes. Treated me with two packets of misshaped chocolate brazils and chocolate almonds.

Out of the store, with much less money in my pocket, (Hehe!) and back through the Slab Square.

The Nottinghamians did not seem to have cheered up at all from yesterdays visit. A quietude of sorts seemed to hang in the air?

Across the square and up to the bus stop, the feet, well toes, really hurting now. Then this Nottingham Pavement Cyclist actually clipped my shoulder as he went by me and up Parliament Street. I got the camera out to record this one, the naughty boy! I could have taken dozens of photographs of the cyclists on the pavements today, there were that many of them.

Caught the bus and had a go at the crosswords en route. I only got three answers all the trip, Tsk!

A painful limp to the apartment entrance an found that much of the fencing had been removed.

But some new scaffolding had been erected creating a little maze for us to get through to gain entry.

The balconies seemed untouched as I photographed upwards.

They warned us that it is going to get very noisy and dusty when they start on them.

I was surprised to realise I did not require a wee-wee or the use of the Porcelain Throne when I got inside?

Health Checks and medications were taken. Planned the nosh. I had forgotten to turn on the potatoes in the Crock-Pot when I left, so got two cheesy potatoes in breadcrumbs with cheese ready made cakes and a few potato letters (Both long-term residents from the depths of the freezer) and got them in the oven. Added later, the cod balls in the batter. Put the baked beans in the saucepan. Sliced up two gone-rather-soft tomatoes, opened the tin of Smoked mackerel in BBQ sauce onto the plate.

While I kept an eye on things as it cooked, I got the purchases put away. Made a brew with the new Tetley Extra Strong tea bags. Not bad at all. Not as good as the Yorkshire, Twinings Strong English Breakfast or Thompsons, but still good.

Perused the TV magazine and found a lot of good stuff on for me to watch. London’s Burning, Pie in the Sky, Hetty Wainthrope Investigates, The A-Team, Heartbeat then the England v Germany match! A perfick viewing session. (I thought!)

I phoned Sister Jane, she rang back. She was in the cafeteria with her mates. She’s going to ring me in the morning.

Getting the food of the oven, and guess what? Accifauxpa! Humph!

A dab of antiseptic cream applied, well, two actually. Hehe!

The food was superb! Even the old stuff from the bottom of the freezer was tasty!

However, the lemon yoghourt had gone-off and had to be ditched.

A call to the Porcelain Throne arrived. A much better session. I think Diahorrea Donald is weakening.

Washed and changed into the night attire early, to watch all my favourite programmes in a marathon gogglebox sitting.

I got through London’s Burning with no nod-offs at all. Then, halfway through Pie in the Sky… I did nod off.

Waking up four hours later, the other things and the football I wanted to watch, all done and finished! Grumph!

Cunningly, I turned to the ITV +1 channel, but only caught the last minute of the game. 0-0.

Went and did the washing-up. The toes on the left foot were still very painful for some reason. Had I been doing too much hobbling?