Inchcock’s Analysis of the Accifauxpas and Whoopsies 4th day on the trot!

In Regrettably Execrable, Atrocious Rhyme

Wednesday: Accifauxpas & Whoopsiedangleplopitis were with me again this morning, but I wasn’t surprised after three or four days of this.

But I had some natters, very pleased with this!

Even had some brighter periods; these were bliss!


Well, no, they haven’t been delivered. Semi-panic!
Another Amazon cock-up, like the Titanic!
I rang Warden Julie, her reaction was fantastic,
She checked Winchester Court, not there,
Rang me back, how altruistic!


Most confusing. Is this a trick?


Ungle-Clomp: thought about it… thud!

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Peripheral Neuropathy Pete was calm with me, as I took this photo,
Came out good for me, I celebrated with a Lemoncello,
Seeing the result, I felt a bit less of a Bozzo,
I gave myself a virtual pat on the back… Bravo!

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Encouraged, I took the view of the end car park.


Took the picture, closed the window, then things got blurrier…
I noticed two tellurians, fell backwards, Clunk! Landed with a whimper,
But no damage and I didn’t lose my temper…
Just the back pulled, so no need to get schmaltzier!
Managed to get back up on my own, now I felt smugger!
The victim being poor old Back-Pain-Brenda…
A Codeine 30g, a mug of tea, and I soon felt a little betterer!

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The blood pressure was not good to be blunt,
But I was not overwrought,
Things would have been worserer…
If it had read nought! Hehe!

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With the recent days’ hassle and bother, it’s been a game,
Wearying, tiring, frustrating, but I do not raim,
But no more could be done, I’m at end of my candleflame,
Rest, peaceful sleep… yes, sleep, that’s now my aim!
I’ll have a nod for an hour or so, then energy I can reclaim…


With the recent day’s hassle and bother, it’s been a game,
Wearying, tiring, frustrating, but I do not raim,
But no more could be done, I’m on the end of my candle flame,
Rest, peaceful sleep… yes, sleep, that’s now my aim!
I’ll have a nod for an hour or so, will my aim be lame?

Got some nosh made, and me oh my,
Gorgeous tasting it was too… now for some shuteye!

I whoofed it down like Bruno from Popeye!
Cleaned the plate with bread, wiped it dry!
Put the TV on, though now I wonder why,
Within minutes it was wakefulness, good-bye!.



I realised it must be the night when the gal gave the medication,
Warfarin included a night only application…
I felt a touch of creeping self-derision…
At the dementia-made confusion and elision,
The Thought Storm started; is reality really an illusion?
The gal gave me a little chinwag, that helped my self-derision,
Making the Thoughts Storms absquatulation.

She didn’t take the waste bags on her way out,
Not nowt to worry about…
Cause I gave the toe a stubbing, that did make me shout!
That, I could have done well without!

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The Dettol arrived, that Amazon said I’d already had,
Which was something that didn’t make me sad,
What does, happened at Concentration camps & Stalingrad,
Many things make me mad, but they are too myriad!.

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The photo that I took earlier,

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I made this graphic and posted it, before the Brexit Fiasco,
Before the masses voted for us to leave the Euro,
Sure enough, that’s just what we did, so long ago…
Some were full of joy, expecting things to improve, full of gusto,
Just look at us now, though…,

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A belated Accifauxpa!

Well, more selection of Whoopsies really,

Milk from the fridge, I knocked over the banoffee,
It fell onto the floor and broke, after hitting my knee!
Got down to clean it up, could I get back up?
I’m used to this, and did it all unemotionally,
Well, apart from the usual trepidity…
Getting back on my feet was painful, a pity,
Cause I stubbed my toe as well, that was shitty!
Then dropped the bloody milk bottle, what a whoopsie!
Cleaned up the mess again, expecting a satanophany!
Instead, I banged my elbow on the drawer, and writ this ditty!

4 thoughts on “Inchcock’s Analysis of the Accifauxpas and Whoopsies 4th day on the trot!

    • A singularly distintive victory there, Tim, with the meal!
      The embarrassment with the carer was well… embarrassing. Hehehe!
      I could have done with a furry to help clean up the milk. Hehe! Cheers.

  1. The BP could look much worserer if you read it backward: 781. That would be a high reading.
    A sharply illustrated and well-argued case against the powers that be at Amazon, they will probably refund you the entire sum you expended on their products so far in 2021, and reimburse you on any items ordered through 12/31/2021. Or they might be even more generous, I shall give Jeff Bezos a call to see wot he has in mind for his best customer.
    High-quality photographs of a chunk of ye old Nottingham, another grand shot of the most curious parking lot in the history of wheels and lots. Lots and lots. The red cars are up to something, I just do not know what, a confoundedly difficult mystery to solve. Might call Benedict Cumberbatch to offer us advice on the greatest mystery to confront the brightest logicians on three continents, one of those continents being Antarctica. Speaking of the number three, you have disenjoyed four consecutive days of the worst whoopsies and accifauxs since the first settlers decided to build a town now known as Nottingham (not Nuttingham, as some from Leeds are wont to call it, but what do they know? That’s me questions and I expect an answer from the mayor of Leeds by close of business Monday. We must crush such idle talk and then nip it in the very bud. I am willing to meet with the mayor of L-Town as early as Wednesday evening. This is an outrage that is as apocryphal and it is phony, no doubts in my mind.
    And now you have written the best ditty imaginable on the topic of a milk bottle that has fallen from the fridgerator, it could quickly become a musical that would play in the Sydney Opera House, the most famous architecture to grace Australia, and the most well-known if you exclude Skippy the Bush Kangaroo from the reckoning, Sir!
    We wishes you a sated Saturday 🙂

  2. Aha, a simple-clear no-nonsense solution to worrying over the BP, Sir. I feel much better now.
    This hum-duggery with the red cars, is confusing, I’m considering thinking about the possibility of my Emailing the Transport Minister about it.
    The town was initially called Snottingham, mayhaps a return to such a non deplume? Some of the locals I’ve heard mentioning Nottnum this past week? Well, a Carer used it yesterday.
    An opera called ‘Dropping the Milk Bottle’, or ‘The Dropped Bottle’; something along those lines, eh?… I’ll keep an eye out for it. Hahaha!
    You liked the word stated then, Billum? I can give a lift to Samstag… is that the correct spelling, or even word?

    I am not a happy chappy, Bill… I went to try and take some photo’s of the fireworks, rockets etc. from the window last night. Woe of woes, the dang Canon camera told me on the screen, ‘The card in this camera cannot be accessed… Reformat using this camera!’
    So I tried to, and another message said, ‘This card cannot format this card! Sob!
    Thinking my clever but expensive ruse of buying the Kodak as backup, cheered me… for a while until I tried to turn it on… Nothing happened!
    The bottom lip trembled, tears formed, and I used a lot of naughty language!
    Plugged in the charger, but the green light came on, telling me it still had life in it…
    Reinstalled the battery in the camera, and made sure the card was on reading setting, and back out on the balcony to try again.
    The bottom lip trembled, tears formed, and I used a lot more naughty language!

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