Inchcock Ode – Welcome to my world

Welcome To My World

Upon waking, Inchcock will often do a sensual check on any ailment attacks or changes. Sometimes, a discussion will occur twixt Inchcock and a specific ailment, typically one that has been giving him a little extra pain and, or hassle. When these occur, the silly old goat usually makes an Ode and graphic about his demented, dreamt up, nonsensical clap-trapping, as below from an old one.

For some unknown reason, the idiot asked me to show this graphic, as he puts it: ‘Wot I Made!’ cause he’s seems to think it is one of his rare, almost non-existent successes?

As his Alto-Ego, I will now let the uneducated, lonely old fool take over the writing of this rubbish. TTFN.

Once the physical activity starts in the morning, I often wait for the mental conditioning to begin; it usually catches up within a few minutes. It can take hours, but not often.

They were tackled then.

Sphygmomanometer showed Sys and Dia, readings high,
The Wee-Wee chart: I need to drink more! Gin & Dry?
Would it help if I go to a detoxify?
On this mind of mine, I cannot rely!

A quick look for any new damage, I don’t want to oversimplify,
Another bruise was found on the top of my left thigh…
An unknown round welt, right arm, that I can’t quantify,
The torso seems to have started to transmogrify?
Heart Op Scars raised, itching again, certainly uglify!
The broken Terence Tooth hit the pain-boards bullseye!
Shuddering, Shoulder Shirley’s eased off, but why?
Hit my head on the stove but didn’t get a black eye!.

The following tasks were ablutionary,
Not worn any socks since about July,
Cold, Brr! should I dare to use Sock-Glide Georgina?
I’ve no medical aids that are any meaner!
One Sock-Glide injury needed micro-surgery!
Hickeys, bruises, cuts, and a bleeding periphery,
Stubbed toes, damaged knees, I felt all fluttery…
Should I put my socks on? I recalled the imagery,
Of the last time, I fought Georgina, bitterly!
I chickened out of wearing socks; what a mockery!.

Anytime in the next three hours, cometh Meridian,
An incredible variety of Carers, one who is Balearian,
Unless I misheard her, and she is Algerian?
Not that it matters, none of them shows me derision,
An American gal, English, British, and an Assyrian,
All make a positive impression!

Porcelain Throne Sessions

Ah, every visit is a different evacuation, indeed.
Some days it can be half an hour, then I’ve only peed!
Rock-solid torpedoes, agony, things bleed!

Next time, liquid, 30 seconds, messy but what speed!

Housework Tended To

Took the chance to clean the fridge up, ready for the delivery to arrive shortly – well, I hope so.

Iceland Delivery Arriveth!

Then, on with Prepping Josie’s Meal

Got it delivered almost on time for her.

I was so proud of how Josie liked the look and smell,
The beef arrived two hours later, took in the dish for the gal.
Water chestnuts, potatoes, tomatoes, beef chunks as well,
Leeks and onions, chilli, three beans, the lovely smell!
Seasoned with liquid smoke, paprika, beef flavour gel,
Said she loved the cream Pretzel,
Even called me an old Angel!
I mentioned the extra lidded pot for the Damsel,
To have later, quantity double,
Too long at her door, I did not dwell,
I sensed she was hungry… Oh, yes, I can tell!

End Car Park

End car park area busy today.

Evening Views

I shall have to go now. Most likely the evening Carer will crave my body, mind and bank account… Ahem!

6 thoughts on “Inchcock Ode – Welcome to my world

  1. A good read today, as always of course. Sonntag is a guter Tag for taking stock and reckoning on the ailments, their proper anatomical names, and their history. Looking forward to the next detailed biography of one o’ the ailments on that right proper diagram, something better than wot yer findeth in a Grey’s Anatomy. They need to contact you, Sir.
    Josie was very much appreciative of the execellent food, drink, and presentation. A wonderwork of its kind accompanied with a photographicalisation. Top-drawer stuff.
    Good timing on having room in the refridgerationing apparatus, timed perfectly with an Icelandic delivery. Coconut wafers and all accompanying noshes appear to cover each food groupeth, as is proper.
    The new parking lot is busier than ever, red cars well represented. Something to be grateful for.
    I quite like how the fotos are cropped for visual effect.
    Will report back on a betterer day, such as Monntag.
    Halway through November, that is wot.

    • I can’t understand why Grey’s haven’t been in touch, Billum? Haha!
      Ah, the carers find those Coconut Rings to their fancy, Billum as a nibble/treat, so I got stocks in for the holiday period for them… I’d hate to see their faces when they call to see me and find any lack of Coconut Rings freebies. Hahaha!
      November is it… I’ll have to check me blogs done to see if I got the month right.
      Thissum year is going faster than any before… as if rushing to the apocolypes… spellchecker no working again – apocalypse!
      All by bes wishes for HRH, and Scientifically blessed Billum!

      • The folks at Grey’s Anatomy have no clue it seems, they may also be jealous. The concept of applying specific names to ailments lies beyond their understanding, so we shall just have to feel sorry for them and to hope that they open theiir closed minds. Pathetic, innit?
        Coconut rings are now legal tender in your part of Not’ham and most of Southwest Ohio. A coconut ring has reached parity with the bitcoin: or is it the other way around? Word has it that the C-Ring is trending in the Christmas-favorites arena, a genuine phenomenon that is getting much press in the C-Ring trade journals, coconut futures continue to break new ground. And no one is surprised. By this time next year, according to the smart-money folksters, it is widely expected to eclipse gold in value. No surprises there either.
        And thank you for the kind wishes for HRH and my humble self. I expect a Nobel Prize in 2022 and am already writing my acceptance speech. I just need to know which Nobel I shall receive, so I am leaving that part blank until I receive the phone call in the middle of the night. And the smart money says that you will again be England’s pODEt laureate.

      • Not that I feel up to much today, but you did it again and raised a chuckle from within, Billumski! I fang you!
        pODEt, we must gain fame together. There are so many Nobel Prizes that you deserve… I’ll have to ponder on that one, Sir.
        Mayhaps you could blog your acceptance speech and make ’em feel guilty?
        Cheers, Sir and HRH Lisa, and the furries. ♥

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