The farcicalisational hiatus ridden bathroom to wet shower room conversion continues. Humph!

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I’d like to thank my beloved new landlord, Nottingham City Homes, who after only a month or so after my requesting this be done after falling getting out of the bath for the third time, agreed to forward my application to convert my bathroom into a Shower Wet Room. After their Occupational Therapist Assessor interrogation… I mean interviewed, me to assess my disabilities and needs, then agreed a few weeks later, to do the conversion for me. A good patient chap name of Joel, thanks to him too. 

A few weeks later, after their considerate Occupational Therapist Assessor’s interrogated… I mean interviewed me to assess my disabilities and needs, they agreed just a few weeks later, to do the conversion for me, in theory. The psychoanalyst was a nice patient chap name of Joel, thanks to him too. 

A few months later, a letter arrived informing me they had agreed to the work after assessing the state and conditions of the bathroom and would soon be advising me of a date for assessment to take place.

Only eight weeks later, a chap arrived to do the rating and risks of the job for me. He must have been magnificent, perhaps an expert at his job because he had a Biro pen behind his left earlobe, oohed and sighed professionally and he only took four minutes to do the evaluation of the job. I gave him a cup of tea and some caramelised biscuits. He was  an expert biscuit-dunker as well. He told me I’d get a letter in a week or so, informing me if the application had been approved. I thanked him, he passed an emission of wind and departed.

Sure enough, three weeks later I got the letter telling me that the commencement of the alterations would be in four weeks time.  

01 before

Sad to see the bath go, but tripping and falling getting in and out getting too often and was too much of a Whoopsiedangleplop risk to life and limb!

Initially, I was a little sad at the thought of losing the bath, because I do love a good soak in Radox and scrub up with carbolic soap. But so many slips, trips and bruising of the elbows, head and hips, while getting into and out of the bath was getting a little risky for me.

Two weeks later another letter informing me that the date had been put back for another week arrived.

It was now only eight weeks away.

avote06

At least the Paramedics should be happy now I no longer have a bath! Hehe!

All the experts who spoke to me assured at the most it would be a four or five-day job.

I felt sure I’d cope somehow without a bath or use of the WC. 

As the day drew near, I had the mammoth task of taking everything out of the bathroom in readiness for the arrival of the chappy man or men, who was going sort it out for me.

02 ready

Bathroom all cleared ready for the man/men

Heck of a job, carrying the cabinets out to the spare room with all the other unsorted dollop of bags and boxes. I got it done the night before the arrival was expected, well-drained I was.

The day arrived, and I waited nervously. Kevin, the workman, showed his appreciation a the bathroom being cleared, saying most are not and the first thing he has to do normally is clear it all away himself.

Tuesday 31st May 2016. Day One

The man, Kevin did all his work on his own throughout, up until his work was finished and the electricians attacked my flat later.

03 startHe showed care, consideration and kindness during their stated 4-day operation, even afterwards on the many more day it turned out he needed.

The bloke liked strong tea and caramelised biscuits, wanted the UK to leave the Euro, was sociable and kept me up to date with what was going on and future plans, and he was interested in photography too!

Wednesday 1st June 2016. Day Two

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Bath out, pipes blocked off and tool in ready for further work!

He was a grafter too. He soon had up the tiles and got his stuff in to build a wooden frame, presumably, it was to contain the shower rail area?

The bath was out in no time.

I kept plying him with strong tea with demerara sugar and caramelised biscuits. Good job I had a fair stock in.

He shown interest in the smells coming from the slow cooking with its seasoned vegetables in stock, and even noted down the recipe as he left for the day! I asked him if he’s like to try some of my seaweed, but wouldn’t risk it. Hehe! He even found times for the odd times for a little chinwag.

Thursday 2nd June 2016. Day Three

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

P1090068This Thursday I had to go out for my blood tests that fell at the same time as my social hour, so I had to miss that, cause Dean Walker, the sex-pot coordinator of the flats came to do the tenants interview.

0805hrs: Kevin the maintenance man, arrived, made him a cuppa, and we had a chinwag. He set to working.

Deana Walker came to do the tenants interview with me.

I hobbled to the doctors. Got some shopping and returned to the flat. Trevor had gone by then, I trusted him and had given him a key to use to let himself in and out.

05 end of day

Trev had been hard at it making the frame that it now seems, will hold the wall tile from the actual wall.

So I missed some of the noise of his electric sawing today.

He warned me yesterday that Friday would be the drilling of the floor day.

He’d done a lot more work again and had gone home before I got back. All clean and tidy.

Friday 3rd June 2016. Day Four

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

20 2 304 4

Trev arrived, had a cuppa and bickie and set to work with a vengeance.

Soon he appeared at the living room door, with his face mask, hearing defenders and gloves on, to warn me about the upcoming noise and dust. He disappeared into the shower room and closed the door to help keep the dust from spreading a bit.

304 4  304 2

20 2 Trev had got the floor drain installed, covered it temporarily and had readied the floor for the floor men to arrive next week.

He tried, but could not get a day and time for me, despite his many calls to try to.

Nice chap.

Saturday and Sunday Days Five & Six

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

I only titivated the place, as we were also expecting the electricians sometime next week, and were both aware of what to expect with them to clean up after them. A thing coating of dust had covered everywhere, as is to be expected.

Monday 6th June 2016. Day Seven

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

304Electricians expected today, Kevin though.

He had his cuppa and biscuits and got on with the job again as usual. He posed proudly at the nearly finished wall tiles when he’d done for the day.

Nice to see a pride in someone’s workmanship.

Only one more day to go working here for Kevin now.

He took some photos for me to use later, with his posh camera and showed me some of the options on it. I may be tempted to get one later. But I’ve got to sort out and get some shower furniture when it’s all done, cause the cabinets I used in the bathroom will I think, be too wide for the available space between the water power box and the actual shower and will get soaked as well as be hard to get to. Huh!

Tuesday 7th June 2016. Day Eight

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

Trevor arrived but did not know when the electrician would be arriving, if at all. I went to ask Julie or Deana if they could find out, they couldn’t. I left.

Clinic day today. Waiting for the electricians to arrive.

P1110040On the laptop hours later before going out and I made a brew and took one for Trevor, the electricians had arrived, not introduced themselves at all and had started working?

Working away at making sure the carpet had bits of cut-off wire and plastic from I don’t know where, dust twinkling bits of metal, streak marks down the paintwork, chips of plaster off the corners in the hallway.

I took a surprise photo of them, that didn’t please them at all. The younger one said: “Wot yer doing?” Which is more than the older said for hours, he didn’t talk to me!

P1110037aI went to see Deana about the double electricity bill I’d had delivered, one saying New Account and I owed them £289! The other one was right and showed me direct debits paid?

She was very busy but kindly dealt with it for me.

They, (British Gas, the French-owned company) told her I had two meters installed??? There isn’t room for two meters in the cupboards where the are kept, even if I did want to have two? They kept her waiting so long with tubed music in between and passing her to other departments, she told them to ring her back. She said she would let me know the result. 

Later, just after Trevor had said his farewells, Deana called to say that British Gas who supply the electricity are cancelling the second bill. I thanked her muchly.P1110045 403a 502 P1110042

I went out to the clinic and when I returned the ‘sparkies’ had gone. The rubbish they made, they had left behind for me, mind.

A double light switch that looked second hand to me. (Above) They decorated the carpet nicely. Trevor had left the bathroom… sorry, shower room all ready for the arrival of the floor layer men.

Electricians placed the new power switch on the hallway wall, that was conveniently placed at a level with my glasses and nose, just in case I wanted to walk into it… Yes, I did!

Wednesday 8th June 2016. Day Ten

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

I had a lot of running around to do and no one had arrived before I went out. When I returned, the place looked like it did when I left?

Closer inspection I found the headphones were stuck under the recliner. The phone in the hallway was not on the stand properly, and some new bits of dust and wires were on the corner near the door?

No one know who it was that came in?

Might have been the electricians or the floor men? Still, no problem.

Thursday 9th June 2016. Day Eleven

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

The floor people had not been by the time I had to go out back to the surgery, so I left the note about calling Deana on the door again.

I returned many hours later to find the door unlocked. A few telltale bits of600 dust and the panelling with a new scratch on it near the shower room door were noted, and I opened the door to have a look in:

The floor had been done. But dare I use the WC by walking on the floor, no! I remembered being told it will need a day or two after completion before it was safe to use the shower, but could I walk on it?

I could not find anyone to ask.

Friday 10th June 2016. Day Twelve

Getting a bit fed-up with the  twice daily rigmarole of having to get all the stuff for my ablutions out of the spare room and into the kitchen, standing in bowl of Radox and Dettol for me feet to cleanse, while shaving then stand-up washing, of my more than amply adequate flobby body and cleaning me teggies. Then medicating the areas needing medicating, and putting everything back away again. Then getting it out…

Another search to get help or guidance on if, and or when it will be allowed to have a heavy-duty movement and or shower…

No answers to phone calls or emails.

Well, it is Friday, early finish day for Council Workers innit!

Looks like Monday then before I can use the shower.

Monday June 13th The Fifteenth Day since installation began!

No need for them to worry about an old man wanting a shower and a…

Goog innit?

Well, never mind!

Inchcock Today Thur 9 June 2016: A frustrating, hard, long day & now no access to the WC! Huh!

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A Nottingham tenant in a toiletless apartment in an Old Peoples Flats Complex is protesting at the local Ice Cream Van, the noisy jingles, the van obstructing the free bus-pass services access, blocking his wheelchair and above all the children as they noisily queue for their ices. The man Juan Inchcock, told the Marissa Bergen, the Drummers Weekly reporter: “I don’t mind about all this really, it just annoys me that the chap has sold out of all his 99’s to the ankle snapper before I can get out of the flat, a lift down 13 floors, get the lobby doors to open and hobble to the van to knock them out of the way with me walking stick! It’s just not fair!

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Thursday 9th June 2016

Stirred around 0525hrs, the second hand £300 recliner chair operated without any hiatus and let me out of it to pass water and use the throne. Much blood from the rear, a tiny bit from ‘Little Inchy’s lesion.

I’d dreamt something about my being in outer-space in a powered shopping trolley, wearing a leather hat and trying to catch butterflies with two saucepan lids with Acker Bilks ‘In a Persian Market’ playing in the background? I can remember all these facts, but nowt else about it. Tsk!

Took the medications with a cuppa and pot of porridge, then tackled the job of getting all the stand-up bath materials and paraphernalia and got myself cleaned up, the best I could. Made substantial use of the underarm spray and after-shave. Although, once again I managed to spill the bowl of soapy water I’d soaked me feet in while stood at the sink washing.

P1110026I didn’t know if the flooring workers were coming and if so at what time? But knew I had to go out to the INR blood test, clinic and to take sister Jane her pressies. (Having done that now, I can show you picture of them).

Two cushions with photographs I’d took of Mr Fooey on the left, and Tabitha, who passed away a good while ago, as she jumped up on the counter and looks for all intents and purposes as if she was checking out my pension paperwork for me. My two favourites of her cats, but I like them all mind.

I went on Facebook, checked the emails and did some graphic work for ages and ages. I thought the workmen might come the same time as all the others did, o800 to 0830 hrs, but none had shown by 0930 hrs, and I did not know if they would be coming or not. So I got the nibbles and meandered to the Tenants Social Hour at the hut. To my pleasant surprise, I saw BJ arriving and going in as I approached the shed. Julie was in the office and I explained about my concerns about leaving before the maintenance men arrived. Being as I did not know where the men were coming from, she said there is nothing she can do.

So I went back in the meeting and had a chinwag with BJ, Toni, Bill and Eddy for a while.

BJ said he’d lift me to the doctors and suggested I go back to the flat and see if they have arrived yet. So I did, then returned. BJ said to put a note on the door – ‘ Floor men – for access please ring…’ and add Julie and Deana’s phone numbers. I should have thought of that myself really. William kindly got and wrote down the numbers for me. Back to the flat and put the note on the door. BJ lifted me with my two bags to the surgery, dead on time. Thank you BJ.

P1110063The nurse soon saw to me but refused to let me take her photo today because she didn’t like the last one I took.

I took her likeness as she turned away. She had to laugh.

I thanked her, gave her some nibbles and departed out to the bus stop on Mansfield Road.

One arrived and in fifteen minutes I was dropping off in town and walked through Victoria Centre (Mall) and up the new escalator to the first floor.

IT came out between two fast food eat-ins. This car was part of one of them.

05As I walk the length of the centre, I noticed this chap on the ground floor giving a piano some hammer and singing! There was writing on the side of the handsome white pianissimo, inviting anyone to give other shoppers a song? Thought it was a great idea!

Hobbled along and out into the walk-over. Where three young girls were smoking something very odd smelling with guilty looks on their faces, one of them was wafting her hand around as I approached. I noticed through the window, a youth who it appears, had just got down for a kip on the pavement outside the Boots store?

07I took two photographs, one wide and a close-up of the youth and made this up.

Lovely weather today. I went over and down then around and to the West Bridgford bus stop, where a number 7 was just loading up.

Alighted on Central Avenue in West Bridgford and being a tad early for Jane’s, I called in the Iceland store. Got a bag of eight little wholemeal cobs, some chicken thighs and desert treats for Jane and Pete.

Hobbled to the Mansion where Janet and Pete live, it only took about 12 minutes to get there.

They seemed in good spirits. I nipped into their front room and placed the cushions on their settee for them to see later. I should have taken a photo shouldn’t I?

First attention was given to Mr Fooey of course. I gave him some and Arthur some nibbles, and they both loved them.

08I got myself down (nearly) to Fooey as he was relishing his little treat.

My getting back up, was some amusement for Sue and Pete at least. Hehe!

09I had a go at sorting the picture out on Pete’s laptop, and we worked out how to get his homemade videos onto his display programme. I love it when I can help, be of use like.

Then I invited them to go into their front room to see their pressies… Thank heavens they loved them.

We had a visit from the PCO, they are having bother with a horrible neighbour.

I gave them half the cobs and the trifles and departed, unsure if I would be in time to catch the last L9 bus from town, I decided not to rush, and I could grab a number 40 and walk missing having to climb the big hill at least.

P1110076  P1110077At the stop, a female Pavement Cyclist all but hit me she belted by, naughty girl! Then as the bus was arriving, a bloke Pavement Cyclist was on the other sideway! Tsk!

It turned out when I got in town, once again like the other day, for some reason the 39 bus did not leave on time, and again I made it in time due to his leaving late and got the bus back to the flats. Hell of a job staying awake, I think I must have nodded off around four or five times en route, but was awake when we arrived at the flats.

Eagerly and apprehensively I made it to the apartment to see if anyone had been to tend to the shower floor… The door was unlocked, no one about, but I knew someone had been in due to the dust and bits on the hallway carpet. Gingerly I opened the WC doorP1110079… Dang dang dang…

The shower room floor had been laid! I dare not go in because they had warned me ages ago that it will need two/three days to settle before the shower could be used and it was safe to do so. And, I don’t know if it is finished or not yet, there might be a waterproofing layer to go?

I popped down to the Community Hut, and luckily Deana was in.

She had told the workmen to ring her when they had finished, and she could come and secure the flat. They didn’t, so she didn’t. So, we don’t know if they have to come back tomorrow or not? The farce continues!

Deana asked me to send her a copy of the photograph of her I took when she helped me out again with sorting the ‘double’ electricity bills I’d had yesterday, that I’d doctored.

10Back to the flat none the wiser as to if I had to stay in or not again! Humph!

I sent the doctored graphic via email to Deana.

When it came to me updating this Inchcock Today – I found I’d lost all the content! Gnash! No idea how I managed that. So I started from scratch again. Took me flaming hours!

P1110081Decided to treat me, this time, Chicken thigh, chips, garden peas, onions, peppers and beetroot… oh and two little wholemeal cobs.

Very late for me by the time I’d got the updating done it was hours passed my bedtime.

How I was going to manage without using the throne, I didn’t know. But no one knew really, if I could go into, or when I could stop on the shower room floor to get to the loo?

Friday, as long as I don’t go out, I can use the Community Shed toilet. Between 0830 and 1600 hrs at least. But the shed is not open at the weekend as there will be no staff on the complex? What then?

I’ll have to see and bother Deana again in the morning to see if she can find out if I can go into the shower room, without using the shower of course?

Fed-up, tired, feeling a nonentity, learning new sufferings as I am forced to try new ways of holding back the urge to use the porcelain, feel a nuisance to all and sundry and a sense that I’m suffering occulcation.

I’ll see what tomorrow brings – respite and conclusion, and being able to use the throne would help! Hehe!