TFZer, Model Lona ♥

Thursday 30th July 2020

Scots Gaelic: Diardaoin 30 Luchar 2020

03:40hrs: I almost fluttered into life this morning, mainly due to Saccades Sandra taking a while to let me focus visually, enough to risk getting up to move about. My attempts at getting some seeable vision by blinking and stretching the eyes with the forehead reminded me of butterflies and old black & white films. Eventually, things settled a lot, and I began to hunch my overly-weighted, bouncing-bellied body from the c1968, none-working, rickety, rusty, recliner.

As I had just got up on the pins and caught my balance, the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. The innards enforced the urgency of the situation, by adding to its typical signs of stabbing pains, a gurgling sound, and mini-escapages of wind, that left a putridness, that seemed to follow me around for ages! Stick in hand, and being wary of the creases in the ever-moving carpeting, I moved as quickly as I could, to the wet room!

I just made it in time! The motion began entirely of its own accord. It was once again of the Diarhorrea Duncan mode, like yesterday, the only difference was it seemed to stop short, and I had to painfully force the last bits out. Argh!

I was foolishly, somewhat over-rigorously antisepticising a certain area, and Little Inchies fungal lesion started bleeding. I cleaned things up and applied the Corticosteroid cream generously, in hopes of stemming the flow of Warfarin and Morphine contaminated Haemoglobin. To my satisfaction, it did the job!

Manly, I merely winced, then threw back my head, and mockingly laughed at the pain! Eurgh-Ouch!

Thus,  Harold’s Haemorrhoids bled profusely, and much cleaning-up and medicationalisationing were needed. Oh, by the way, I’d like to sing the praises of Andrex Toilet Tissue here. So much less painful, and it allowed the first flush to remove everything! Shame, I’ve only got the one roll left, Tsk! I’ve got plenty more rolls though, that I’ve Christened ‘Ten-Flushes-Rolls’, left. Hehehe!

After cleaning and creaming certain areas in need, I departed off to the Kitchenette. Noticing how flipping cold it was this morning, in the flat anyway. The first thing I checked was if I had left a window open, but no.

Got the kettle on, and the Health Checks things out ready, and risked opening the thick-framed, light & view-blocking new windows, and attempted to take a shot of the morning view. As you can see on the right here, it didn’t come out very well, crap actually! Humph! It’s that bad, the Tate Gallery might be interested in showing it, perhaps?

Did the Health Checks, and was pleased with the results, the temperature showed as just ‘Low’, it might be stuck on this and not working? Tsk!

Made the brew of Assam Extra-Strong tea, went to the computer and got her going, and had to return to the wet room for a wee-wee. I’ve not had a leak like this for ages, of the VSWAOTP (Viciously-Spraying-Wildy-All-Over-The-Place) fashion. So, more cleaning and disinfecting had to be done. It’s a good job that I don’t have any friends to visit. I’d be cleaning their toilets, the wall, floor, and porcelain out of habit! Hahaha!

I found two photos from last night, one of the meats prepared for cooking, and then what turned out to be delicious Chinese belly pork nosh!

Crock-pot cooked potatoes, with just sea salt added. The fresh pod peas, boiled with a bit of castor sugar, Piccolo tomatoes, a disc of Marmite Cheese, and the Chinese Hoisin seasoned belly pork. I recall enjoying this one very much. A flavour rating of 8/10!

I pressed on and got a template made for tomorrow, then started this blog going. After about an hour or so, of relatively ailment-free botherations, I went to make another mug of tea, Glengettie this time. 

After another fireman’s hosepipe-like wee-weeing, and cleaning up session, I went to get the vegetables prepped and in the crock-pot. I used the large one today, for the first time in ages.

Shelled the peas and cut the leeks. Then sliced some red onions, and added them all to the potatoes in the large crock-pot. Added some sea salt and Oxo vegetable stock. Put it on the low-setting, then got the things washed up I’d dirtied prepping the vegetables.

Only a few peas were dropped and lost. Not cuts with the knife! No burnt fingers either! Mind you, I did hit my head bending down to retrieve a lost pea. Hahaha!

Back to Computer Cameron, and did a search for any local Corona Virus updates.

Then got things ready to get the ablutions done. And off to the wet room, and looking forward to getting a shower, and talking to the Sock-Glide, in a sneering manner, as it sits there, sulking contemptuously, almost scathingly. Desperate to get back to cutting me, bruising me, tripping me over, stubbing my toes, and mostly donating blood blisters, and welts on my fingers! (Sorry, I’m losing it here!)

After checking that the Amazon delivery tracker, I(They have not reached the delivery base yet!) to make sure the slippers would not arrive early, I trundled off to the wet room.

Well, a surprisingly few Whoopsies suffered (Some, of course!) session!

The teeth cleaning went well, the shaving had only two dropsies (both razors). The showering, well. a few here, the showerhead dropped (2), and the shower gel bottle.

Drying off, the sock glide sat there, staring at me all the time. I’m, not sure it didn’t even scoff at me at one time! Hahaha!

Bit of a set-back on the medicalisationing tasks, though. Little Inchies fungal lesion started to bleed again, but only a bit. I double-winced as I applied the cream. I clouted my right elbow against the sink, then.

Probably the most entertaining new, a first-time-ever Accifauxpas! As I was holding the towel in each hand, going to and fro drying my back, Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters failed me! My right hand shot off, and I gave myself a hell of a thump, right on my nose! Cribblebogangonies!

A drop of blood flowed, I went dizzy, Saccades Sandra kicked off, the nose went red, and I felt a right fool! After cleaning up the tiny spots of blood, I just had to take a selfie of the red nose. But, by the time I’d got around to taking the photo, it had all but gone. Hehehe!

Well, Tate Gallery, are you interested? Or am I to think of something along the lines of the American minimalist sculptor, Carl Andre, and do something like his brick display? I can think of a few words to describe what I thought, and still do, think of it.

Pitiable, pathetic, lamentable, dismal, ludicrous, feeble, phoney, laughable, hair-brained, asinine, and glaikit, come immediately to mind.

Carl Andre, an artist? Pull the other one! Humph and Fiddlesticks! Art, my Arse!

I came out from the wet room, feeling in a half-decent mood. And decided to get the blue Mayanmar (Formerly Burma) made, Primark zip-up 100% Polyester, £9.99, top washed.

You can see how well I live can’t you, pure class!

I really didn’t think it would be quiet as dirty as it was! Cor Blimus, I rinsed it that often until the water came clear, it must have taken me an hour before I got it done, wrung and hung above the sink to drip-dry! Dirty Inchcock! It should be dry by about September.

I make a brew of Thompsons Punjana tea. And took a shot of the City Hospital. Where my Xyrophobia suffering, over amour propred Brother-in-law Pete, pools winner and three-time Lottery winner (Not counting his up-to-now 278 scratch-card wins – counts them every week you know!), went in for his Big C treatment, and I got good vibes back while I was taking it. Fingers crossed, for the lucky, handsome, hair on head, clever-with-his-hands, electrical genius! 

I rang out the hanging shirt come jacket, as I have been doing regularly since having washed it. Then returned to the updating on this blog, I’m getting a little weary now, and reckon the Amazon slippers will arrive late today. And still haven’t caught up on the WordPress Reader and Facebook yet!

An hour or so later, I went for a mug of Glengettie tea. Amnd noticed I’m not-half doing some sneezing?

I returned and took this photo on the right, from the computer chair, of the view out of the balcony, on my left.

I then went on the WordPress Reader section. Then onto Facebooking, to try and catch-up. A bit slow going on the computer again. Humph!

I thought as you do, I’ll enlist with Sainsbury’s, and make an order. What could go wrong? Hah!

The hands were bad, Nicodemus again. But I signed on with them and started doing an order. When it came to the checkout, well, what performance. All the numbers and details they wanted, and I must have made so many mistakes, cause I to repeat things sop often, I ren out of time and I got blocked by them!

Then I found I was supposed to have signed up with Nectar, that was of great confusion for me, the numbers and passwords was a nightmare, after filling in the pages, it kept coming back that the details were wrong! I had to repeatedly reset at least four passwords and I got myself into a bad panic (My numbers phobia again), in a right muddle.

Then I got blocked for a second time for not completing in the given 30/40-minute (Security) window!

Then Nectar sent me another password reset, and I just didn’t know what I was doing! The only time I wished I lived with someone for years, no help, no time to get any. everything was being tightly timed, and Shuddering-
Shoulder-Shirley kicked-off, Oh dear! 

Eventually, Gawd knows how, but I got back on the Sainsbury page, and they had kept the order I was doing on the page. Then I had to put in all the bank details again. More passwords needed! Then I had reset one a second time!

The scribble on my notepad was barely readable! But, I found a doggedness, and eventually, signed in again with Sainsbury’s (3rd time), and had yet again, to put in the card details, with time running out for the third time!

I got the order sent off eventually, but I had to confirm various details again first, and I kept getting emails… Crap!

Then, when they accepted payment, sent me details, I found they had charged me £7 for delivery!

Believe it or not, I’m feeling proper poorly now. I can’t cope on my own anymore.

I’ll just have to take that offer up to marry me from Michelle Pfeiffer, then.

And the slippers have yet to come, the vegetables for the stew have been overcooked methinks! 

Then the INR test result record was delivered. From Monday’s blood giving. Took them a while this week, and I realised that no one from the surgery or Anticoagulation and Deep Vein Thrombosis Clinic, had called with me new dosages.

Pathetically, I felt a little sorry for myself, after such a reasonable day as well. Then realised I’d been up for fourteen hours, Nicodemus and Shirley were both pestering me, what a state to get into.

Then I realised, in getting signed on with Sainsbury’s and Nectar, had cost me three hours of my life! And left me drained, and wee’d off. I’m guessing the numbers and figures going all wrong, has started this depression off, but I’m only guessing. 

No one to talk to, fall out with, and even Herbert is not knocking and banging about today! Ah, well, Que sera, sera!

I’m not even feeling hungry yet, what’s going on? Hahaha! Knick-knockers!

I’ll see if the slippers are anywhere near, on the Amazon tracker.

– My stupidity continues! It knows no bounds! The Universe is its Oyster! I looked at the tracker and it was showing the map. I saw the red circle, and assumed the van was outside the flats! So, I went and stood near the intercom waiting for it to go off. I stood there for ages, too scared to move in case I didn’t hear the pathetic, weak tone of the intercom box when it went off. It can’t be much longer I said to myself. But it was!

Forty minutes later, I nipped back quickly to check on the tracker again, below on the original tracker when I looked, I widened the picture and realised the red circle was the flats, a green one was the lorry, that didn’t show up on the first screen, thus, this old fart was confused! What a pillock!

I was just glad when the driver did eventually get up to the flat, it was about an hour later. He was in a terrible rush, dropped the bag on the floor and shot off! I don’t think he heard my thank you, especially as it was being interfered with by Stuttering Stephanie!

I put the well-squashed bag down, dropping the four-pronged metal stick as I did so, and of course, naturally, as is to be expected, it goes without saying, came down and hit my toes! Grubblesoddit!

I tore open the bag, to reveal the semi-flattened brown slippers, with outside-soles! Tsk!

I tried to reshape them, had a modicum of success too.

I got the vegetables out of the slow-cooker and into the pan of canned stewed steak, seasoned with some gravy salts. Came back to this computer, and within minutes I could smell burning! I limped ASAP into the kitchen, to find the pan of stew bubbling merrily away! I’d turned the heat up, instead of off!

Is there any hope or future for me? Grobbleknangles! I wonder if there’s a Senior Citizens adoption society or Grandpappy Replacement Union? No, that wouldn’t be fair on anyone.

Shattered as I felt, I had to make up a template for tomorrow. So through closing eyes, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley, and the Stinging Harold Haemorrhoids, I did just that. Smug-Mode-Engaged!

Went on the comments to catch up, I’ve had a wickedly busy day again.

I grafted away at this blog until fatigue defeated me! Managed to make a template for tomorrow, then I went on email to sort out all the harassing from Sainsbury’s and Nectar, but mainly, cause I’m feeling guilty for not answering Lisa until so late, so I’ll do that first.

I may be back… Hahaha!

I’ve replied to Lisa, at last, and had a bash on the WordPress reader.

Went to make a brew of Glengettie tea, and despite it being so late, the Sun was high and blasting.

A lovely evening, weatherwise!

Shattered, I am! I’m going to post this off now, then get summat to eat, the stew, if it tastes alright overcooked.

TTFNski, each!.