Inchcock – Saturday 22nd August 2020: The Porcelain Throne visited Six times. Oooher!

Cool TFZer, at the Cool-It-Cabin

Saturday 22nd August 2020

Russian: Суббота, 22 августа 2020 г.

02:50hrs: I woke up, to wish that the urgent need for a wee-wee had not arrived and I could have stayed ensconced in the uncomfortable, second-hand, c1968, rickety, rusty, ready-for-the-scrap-heap, none-working recliner. (A slight case of clinomania, here?) But there you are! Up and off to the wet room, I trundled, nearly falling over Metal Mickey (Four-pronged walking stick) en route.

I think I might be in for some ‘passing problems’ today. The wee-wee was off of the WTWIWI (Weak-Trickling-Was-It-Worth-It) mode, and dysautonomia affected as well. At least there was very little liquid to make much mess, more of a fine spray, as Little Inchy splayed around out of my control, like a miniature hose-pipe. I washed up, and then got the overnight emergency bucket set up, I had a feeling things in the wee-weeing department were going to be little and often (I was right).

To the kitchen, and got the Health checks done. It was a lot colder in there this morning, I checked the windows, they were all closed?

The BP readings were still a smidge high. The thermometer gave a body temperature of 84.0°f.

I took the medications and made a brew of Glengettie tea for myself. And, appetisingly flavoursome, it was! I like the new milk in the sachets, just tight for a mug this size. Although I imagine it would not be enough for many folks.

I tried (and failed) again to take a morning view photograph that was as the eye saw it, using the aperture priority setting. Still, I’ve made so many worse efforts over the years, I’m afraid to say.

As I was taking the brew through to the computer area, suddenly sharp stabbing pains developed, so off I limped to the Porcelain Throne.

I got seated, and the feelings from the innards advised me to get the crossword book in use. Things were not keen on moving again! Pure pain had to be endured, pushing or forcing anything was out of the question, just too hurtful. I was doing well and got three or four clues answered when the pathetic evacuation started, and it was all over within seconds. But I knew I’d be back, experience told me. Washed up, and didn’t do any medicating, because I was sure I’d be back later, for the ‘Big-One!’

I had to make a fresh mug of tea to replace the gone-cold one. On the computer, and made up a template, then finalised yesterday’s diary, which amazingly didn’t take me so long as usual. Nicodemus’s Neurotransmitters, Anne Gyna, and Shaking Shaun, all being kind to me! Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley gave me the odd shaking, but even she was not too profligate. Hang on, is that the word I was wanting? I’ll make do with bothersome instead. I got the post sent off and put some photos on Pinterest.

Porcelain-Throne – Two: Suddenly, the stabbing, stomach pains began again, so it was back to the Porcelain Throne. I got sat down, reached for the crossword book and pen, and Whoosh! The evacuation, and a massive painful but quick one it was, flowed!

After this great dollop of a release, I knew it would not be a waste of time if I got the cleaning up and medicating done. Boy, oh boy, Frank’s Furuncles, Harolds Haemorrhoids, and Devlin’s Decubitus combined to give me a right few moments of agony as I applied the creams, and I overdid the spread of the Chlorhexidine cream! Hehehe!

I did, however, notice how the right ankle ulcer, was no longer looking threatening. In fact, apart from a little itching, there was no pain at all, and the colourations and skin growths had all but disappeared! Great!

Back on the computer, and made an order for Amazon for some more face-masks. Then made a start on this post. After an hour or so, The stinging from the innards returned, followed by a nerve-making, worrying gurgling noise? I hastened to the wet-room!

Porcelain Throne – Three: Talk about in the nick-of-time! The second I deposited my stomach-burdened body on the plastic, the evacuation started, I had no control over it. 90% liquid, stunk awful, and a fair amount of it shot out! Now, I am getting a bit fretful about the situation! Of course, it’s a Saturday, so no one to ask for advice.

I reflected on the Porcelain Throne movements so far.

  • No.1 – One large sold mass, lump, which was a nightmare to get rid off. Much bleeding, a marathon session.
  • No.2 – Another big one, not so solid, no bleeding, but it took ages. Some control over the flow.
  • No.3 – Almost all liquid, shot out with a venom; it sprayed over me and the toilet. No bleeding again, but the aroma left, was much worse than the other two were. Cleaning up the wet room and myself, took aeons!

My Lucubrations are confused, apprehensive ready for the worst! I have a feeling as I type this, of another build-up brewing within! I believe I’m going to be in for hodiernal-hell!  Ungleflopbogglings! Hello, already I can feel the short stabbing pains building up again in the lower intestines.

If I have to go again, and things are no betterer, I’ll try ringing 111 for advice, methinks.

Another mug of tea gone cold, so I thought it best not to make another one until the innards have steadied down. I went on the WordPress Reader.

Then worked on CorelDraw, making a couple of blog top graphicalisations.

Yet another summoning to the Porcelain Throne – Four! Embarrassingly, I did not make it in time! A watery evacuation, thank heavens for the PP’s I was, and always wear! The stomach ached severely this time, after the completion. The cleaning and medicating is beginning to get me down today! I’ll have to get some more over the counter medications again soon. I certainly didn’t feel ill, but uncomfortable afterwards.

I decided against having anything to eat, and I cut the tea out. For a meal, I had some plain shortcake biscuits, and a drink of spring water, a lot of water, actually, a thirst had gripped me.

I had to stop computerisationing and got down in the recliner with a bottle of water, and some plain biscuits. And sleep soon came to me, off I drifted.

I was woken up by some drilling from Herbert above. I was still not feeling well, and the sudden noise, made me shout out loud a naughty word, and request for him to stop banging and drilling. Shame-Mode-Engaged! It lasted a few more minutes, and silence fell. I must be in a weary mood, because I drifted off again, ah, bliss!

Shagglesworth! Unbelievable! I was beckoned to the Porcelain Throne visit number Five! I got to the wet room in time this time. Phew!  Much less content evacuated, still, it was almost all liquid again. And the stomach aching began afterwards, as before. But it cleared pretty quickly on this occasion.

Back down in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, uncomfortable, rickety recliner. And, yet again, sleep came swiftly.

I was woken up by some more drilling from Herbert above yet again, Gawd it was loud this time! I reckon he was doing his drilling right above me, and me with no hearing aids in, still thought it was loud! Louder than when the Fire Alarm that went off in the flat! I’d love to know what it is he’s making, though! 

I waited for Herbert to stop his noise, and had a long, hard time getting back to sleep, and seems that seconds after I did… Crapolaville!

Porcelain Throne – Six! Another rush of sorts to the wet room ensued! Aha, this evacuation produced only a few splatterings, some with blood spots in it, mind, and was all over in seconds! And there was no tummy-ache to follow.

So, even with it being so late on, I decided to get the ablutions done, with the appreciation that while doing them, I’d be handily placed for any Porcelain Throne demands. (But they seemed to have stopped, at last, no calls during the 40 minutes or so of the ablutionalisationing were needed! Yee-ha!

Ablutionisationing Incident Report Log:

  • The ankle ulcer has almost disappeared now!
  • Toothache Thomas kicked off when I cleaned the teggies. The often-filled maxillary is still hurting now, Tsk! No dropsies, though!
  • The shaving dropsies; shaving foam can, razor (4). Cuts five!
  • Showering; a short sharp Dizzy Dennis attack. But no clouting myself on any grab bars, or any toe-stubbing! Oh, Yes! Dropsies: flannel (3), soap (4), showerhead, and the spectacles as I was putting them back on.

All-in-all, a good session!

The medicationalisationing had its moments, but best if I don’t mention any details, other than perhaps, Argh! Hehe! I got the bleeding to stop in the end.

I risked making a brew of Glengettie Gold, but would not risk having anything to eat, yet. See how I feel later one.

Wonderful clouds tonight.

I did some CorelDrawing. Then decided to make an Inchcock Today template up.

There was a bit more rattling and thudding from Herbert above, but at least he’s not drilling at the moment.

Could I get to sleep again?


So I got up and posted this off.

4 thoughts on “Inchcock – Saturday 22nd August 2020: The Porcelain Throne visited Six times. Oooher!

  1. Plop plop, wiz wiz oh what a relief OR NOT it is. “Sounds awful” as Marvin the robot would say. The SYS is a tad high, but the DIA looks great. You are still at room temperature. Normal body temperature is 98.6º F. Great looking clouds. Hang in there my good man.

    • Merci Mon Ami, Sir,
      No motions today, Tim, but a constant rumbling from the bowels tell me a super-duprer evacuation is building up. Hahaha!
      Just gave Josie her meal, but I was not up tp masjing the chessy potatoes this morning, I explained this to her. Fish cakes and fiingers with sprinkled powdered cheese on them as a substitute. Hope she like them.

      The temp has been down for a few days, perhaps something to do with Diahorrea Duncan?

      Cheers, Tim, ahveth a good dayski!

    • Well, Doug, 84f (29c) is low. They say a sign of having Coronavirus is a low temp? It’s been low for weeks now?
      Should I be dead, and nobodies told me, all the best mate, lovely to know you.

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