Cooked pot of pork knuckle, beetroots, pickled black beans and water chestnuts, a giant potato pancake, two doorstep sized slices of bread, and a spot of BBQ sauce added. A cheap icecream cone to follow.
Ate it all up, like a good little boy. Hehehe!
22:20hrs: I got bedded down, and was soon off into the land of slumber, where I had a dream.
I was in the Tardis, with Herr Starmer. I recognised it from the TV series, but there were also members of Parliament, all arguing. Starmer seemed oblivious to this, and carried on over-talking them. I wish I could recall more. But that’s all folks! As some old Walt Disney cartoons used to end. Not that I can recall it at the moment, but I reckon I must have got up during the morning, and took these photographs from the kitchen window. Putting them on, I remembered the green sky, and wondering what I’d done wrong? To the right I think. To the left I think. Ahead, I guess. Closer shot, ahead. (Brown now?)
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Well, he’s back another reactivation,
Imbedding in me, thoughts of a madman,
Or perhaps, to be closer, a badman…
Silly thoughts, developed, began…
Will I ever get to use a bedpan again?
A chance to dance, the twist or can-can?
If I’m reborn, I’d like to be a Casanovan,
I’m passing wind with power of a turbofan,
I can hear words, they’re stentorian…
However, I refuse to pay attention,
They are full of hatred & vilification…
Loathing, defamation, castigation…
Giving me collywobbles & trepidation,
They laughed at my coming trephination,
Is the voice mine? Am I in regression?
My alto-ego is a much better rhetorician,
I leave no progeny, offspring, scion,
What will I leave in residualisation?
With age, comes a painful realisation,
Unwarranted dismal and depression,
I’d use a little prognostication…
Involving perception, conceptualisation,
But it would only be assumption, supposition,
I’d love to know before my conclusion,
Can life really be just an illusion? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Best Week All Year!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I had to use the Porcelain Throne twice overnight.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
At 06:40hrs, I bounded out of bed, and I did a backwards flip. One-handedly whipped the nocturnal pouch from the day bag. Burst into song; Frank Ifield’s Wayward Wind. Did a few press-ups, and ten minutes of shadow boxing, and opened the kitchen window to yodel my greetings and best wishes to all who could hear me… Or, if you prefer the truth…
It’d been another stormy night. It must have taken me four hours to fall asleep. with his nit-picking and reminders of various mistakes and bad choices I’ve made over the years, I finally gave up his attack. I feell asleep for about an hour, sprang awake, waited for to stop trying to twist my neck off, and as he subsided, had her turn at dislocating my shoulder bone. No chance of nodding off again no matter how tired I felt, now. At 06:40hrs, I removed the night bag, and the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived. I could hardly feel the evacuation taking place. As I stood up, I couldn’t believe the amount of mass of evacuated product in the porcelain! I’ll say no more...
Made a brew of Glengettie.
Carere Ejaz called. I forgot to ask him to take off my socks. And pointed out that have only one warfarin dose left in the stock. Ejaz said sorry for being late. No bother at all. He was using buses on a Sunday.
I prepared the meal for tonight.
Large white beans, black-eyed peas, Gung Po sauce and gravy, water chestnuts, Light Soy sauce, liquid smoke, and potatoes. Heating it slowly in the crock-pot. Yes, the same again. I do like it!
More kitchen views. Sunshine getting through. Decent shots?
Back to the blogging.
Then onto the WP Reader.
Hoping it lets me ‘like and comment’ this time.
Carer Joe arrived. He’s bought some prescription medications, bless him. Great, I was on the last Warfarin tablet, too! Thanks!
Got the meal sorted. Took snaps of the evening view. Amazing cloud formations
The days meal.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – May your week go frabjously, Your hopes develop fabulously, Your days each go unfractiously. May your plans go flawlessly, May your luck go favourably… for your fancies and foibles, Each day pass felicitously, You avoid all that goes feudally, Your dreams mature flawlessly, May others greet you fondly, And have a bit of luck, financially! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – My mind does nothing assentingly, Neurotransmitters similarly… But, by gum, this may sound bizarrerie… But I’ll battle-on, although a woopie, I’ve lately been sour, crestfallenly, Depressed and feeling low desolately, All despairingly, and disconsolately, High-Mode-Horis: unexpectedly with me, I don’t expect any logicality… But I really do feel high, surprisingly! I’m still all over-the-place-vigilantly, I still sense my timidity & vincibility… And, life’s still filled with uniquity, At this moment, I am feeling happy! Now you don’t often hear this from Inchy, I know depression will return, distantly… A day, hours, minutes, or even instantly! It’ll hurt if he attacks immediately… It’s what the turd-face does, usually, I accept the prospect almost casually, That revelation although, frightens me… It reveals my neurodiversity, And perhaps my nugacity & drollery? While depression-free, perhaps he’s on holiday! When he returns, I’ll go all nebbishly… Until then, I almost feel free of moribundity! I’ve gained a different personality… At least temporarily! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – It’s all good innit? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – ROTTEN SLEEP AGAINA confusing first few hours. Littered with little annoyances. Which turned into a semi-panic stage later on. But more later, I’ll try to reveal things chronologically, so as not to lose myslef.
I couldn’t get to sleep in the bed for some unknown reason, so I moved into the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
At last I did nod-off afew times; waking up again with neck jerks and shakes from a variety of bodily appendages, with getting her stabbing pains in a few times. But, I’ve had worse.
04:40hrs: As I removed the night pouch from the day bag, I noted how little was in the nocturnal pouch. At this time it didn’t matter, as there was no discomfort from the day bag. I checked the taps, stove, etc. things were okay. I tok a snao of the morning view on offer from the kitchenette window.
I’d done the bleeding gums and teeth, and was about to start on the shaving, but had to divert to the Porcelain Thone with haste. Damned good job I was in wet room, cause I would never have got there in time. As yesterday, it started on its own. Phew!
Just one weenie-cut shaving. The medicationings went great. Just the usual agony applying the fungal lesion ointment… well, the rubbing it in hurt!
I got the fresh PPs on almost easily!
Great start to the day, I thought. I was feeling a smidge perky now! So, I got the waste bags into one, and placed it near the door.
I handwashed the wolly hat and towel and hung them in the clothes arer in the hallway.
I got the computer on, and had flow-back pains from the catheter. I took a peek at things, and wriggled the tubes, but the flow-back pains were still coming every couple of minutes.
Carer Ejaz arrived. I was told him about the flow-backs. He got the medications issued. Got my diabetic socks on my legs. Reminded me about the vitamin tablets. Then some serious pains came from the flowback. His next job, was to put a new day catheter as sleeve on my leg. We had hoped the new bag would be successfully used. Haha! But, No!
Ejaz had a look, but he couldn’t free the flow for me. I tried it again, with the same results.
Ejaz suggested that I phone the Distric Nurses. A problem with that is they are not working on weekends. But tey may assess the situation safety-wise at least. But it wastoo early to call yet. I asked Ejaz to take a photo of the catheter contraption for me, so I can put it here and see if I can identify what’s causing the problem. Ejaz put a plaster on one of the welts that was bleeding. He had to go, he had a lot to do this morning. When I got around to uploading the photo. I noticed that the top tube from Little Inchie was backed up full. The new catheter tube below was gin-clear!
I assumed the problem was with the connecting tube thingamagig.
So, I took a closer look. After a struggle, I squashed, squeezed, and tugged at the connector, and it started to slowly flow. I could see some creamy yellow bits of whatever, going through with the urine. It is still backing up even now, hours later. But I keep squashing, squeezing, and tugging, and the flow starts again, gradually slowing down.
I may be due for a contraption replacement?
The Iceland elive ry arrived. The man kindly carried the carrier bags through to the kitchen for me. Kind of him, that was. The only frozen food I’d bought was the cheap ice cream cones. I got them in the freezer first. I spotted the giant potato waffle in there. I’ll have that today I think. Iceland has Gung Po sauce on offer, so I bought some. I couldn’t find them when I searched for Gung-Po sauce. Luckily, I tried a search for Sharwood’s, and it came up. While setting up the food cupboard things for this photo; I had the weirdest of seizures. I just stopped what I was doing and held onto while leaning against the door in the corner. I can’t say why I did this, but I’m ever so glad that I did. A phenomenal loss of balance and a dizzy spell came over me, lasting around ten seconds. Had I not took precautions they would have had me over without question. How the hell did I know? Weird! I got the idea to put some Marmite on the potato hash Browns later. Well!
A different carer called who is doing the last three calls. His name is Mirza. Seemed like a nice enough lad. He gave me some Peptac when I asked for it. And listened while I told him of the catheter problems.
Then I got on with blogging and the ode making.
WordPress not letting me like or comment on the Reader? Humph! Now the photos are disappearing!
I love it! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – SELF-ASSESMENT What is causing me all this strife, I’ve no hopes, no hair, no wife… Few teeth and avoid any lowlife, I don’t enjoy any high life…. My ailments that are ignored but rife, I’m kind to people and wildlife, I’ve purposely avoided being altercative, My mind, at best, is approximative! I may get better, but only if… The brain stops going adrift… The medics understand me, get my drift, Anne Gyna leaves my chest, neck & midriff, Then I can feel less aggrieved! And, a miracle can be achieved! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Catch-up Think I missed these snaps of the red moon last night. It’s a reasonable effort for me. Well pleased with this one! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I got a call on the intercom. The man muttered something and disappeared. I thought this might have been the Amazon delivery of the beef and day catheter pouches. While waiting for them to be delivered to the door, I checked the Amazon tracker, which told me they had been delivered. There was no sign of it coming up. I bet the rascally driver has left them in the foyer lobby!
I had to get dressed, and went down with the three-wheeled walker and stick to investigate.
Sure enough, there were two bashed-up boxes on the lobby floor. The problem was that one was for a flat on the tenth floor, and the other was for a smaller one, mine. I could get that box on top of the wheeler, and I did. A lady’s name was on the other parcel, and as I took my box up, I stopped to tell her about the box in the lobby. I explained that I’d go back down after dropping my box at my flat, provided nobody had nicked it, and I’d bring it up for you.
So, I went up to my flat. I think both boxes had been looked into, but my two items were there. I went back down to the ground floor. The lady’s box was still there, and I realised how heavy it was.
I felt a smidge of pride in helping out, like others had done for me. Gawd, it was hard work. I could only balance the box on top of the walker and almost staggered up to the lady’s flat with the box. I should think the fastest I managed to move could have been half a mile an hour. Hehe! I almost lost it getting out of the lift. Phew! But I got to the flat and put the box inside for her.
Envri almost delivered it. Surely they can see it is an elderly persons warden-aided complex here? Or not.
At least it tired me out enough, I hoped, for me to get to sleep quicker than usual. Huh!
0640hrs: Again, I say again… I woke up without any , , and was just not there! Oh, if only this could happen regularly. It felt great! Mind you, I think I had six hours kip! Yee-Har!
I knew I had a lot to do on the blog catching up, so I finished Fridays as soon as possible.
Then I got carried away doing the ode, which I was very much struggling with for some unknown reason.
Carer Ahmen arrived. We chatted as he put on the diabetic socks. He graded the urine, and I went to empty the nocturnal catheter bag.Grungleslapnerds!
I only found that I’d left the hot water tap running again, and it must have been for a long time because the water was icy! So, no showering, shaving, or cleaning up now! It won’t be until tonight when the night heater kicks in to warm it up.
It’s just as well; I’d have much more time to waste making messes and mistakes on the ode. Humph!
Ahmed returned for the 2nd call of the day. Whilst he was here, Anne Gyna kicked-off!
I also have a Peptac guzzle as Reflux. Roger joined in the onslaught.
There were a few mini-seizures; at one stage, they were on and within seconds of each other!
Once more, the day seems to have flashed before my eyes. I’m going to get something to eat now.
The sun went in.
A SHOWER-OF-SEIZURES FOR AN HOUR!
Mini-Myoclonic seizures, with a few of the Ménière’s thrown into the mix. My inbred, one of my oldest ailments , was on and off all day.
This bout of them left me tired out and weary beyond the realms of possibility. I was done for! All in. So the computer was abandoned early.
I made a meal. I ate it in an artistic fashion. Spilling some of it on my chest, legs, dressing gown and kaghoule.
Why, you ask? (I hope) I kept falling asleep! Something of a miracle that I didn’t drop the whole lot along with the tray it was on! Oh, I found some on the £300 second-hand shop bought, c1966. moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly-beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not working recliner.
It was an effort getting up to sort things out and wash the pots, but I’m glad I did. The moon was in view, so I fetched Kodak Tim 2 to take a photo of it. Nice!
I foolishly tried to stay awake to see the highlights of Nottingham Forest’s match. Zzzz!
I was waking up so often that I’m not sure I had more than three hours of actual sleep.
The full works tonight that I’d hoped I would sleep like a baby, being so drained. But, No!
I recall being rudely awakened by , , , , , and . But there may have been others in the onslaught. Oh, yes, I remember, & .
Each time I was woken, I needed to sort out what was happening. I seemed annoyed and a little out of it. At one stage, I just had to get and use the toothache spray from the computer desk. I stubbed my toe against the Ottoman as I moved back to the hospital bed! But I think I was soon back in the land of nod again after each visit—not for long, of course. The next ailment soon arrived to join in the nocturnal ‘Let’s-Bugger’ Inchy’s sleep-up routine. I think that had it not been for the damned seizures leaving me so done in, I could have coped with the lack of sleep, instead of getting annoyed and sorry for myself, which no doubt helped bring on the again. Not one of better nights.
In my morning slumber, I started musing, Back to the day when things were amusing, 1963, when sliced bread went up to a shilling, The reaction of the shoppers were chilling, They brought some; some they were stealing, A near riot, on price-rise day proceedings, Last week, the loaf cost me £1 – shocking! This week, £1.49! Not reassuring! Maybe I’ll take up shoplifting.
The monthly cost for gas & electricity… I’m back talking again of 1963, Cost 15/- the equivalent then to 75p, Last month, my payment went up to £423! Starmer’s stopped our winter fuel subsidy, Not enough cash for price rises absorbability, Proletariats, pensioners now in poverty, Rates, rents, power, costs rising steeply, Our NHS crumbles, pleasing the oligarchy.
Forcing some to turn to crime, effectively Eat or heat, food banks, charities competing, A diet of bread & water? It’s called Xerophagy, At today’s price of bread & water, it’s alarming! Families, children and the aged geriatrically, Is Starmer not aware of the voters’ suffering? Go shopping today, do it vigilantly, They’ll be muggers, pickpockets lurking, Nutters, looking to act adversarially. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Hand Washing. I’m fed up with this!
Ankles, lower legs much clearer today.
Afternoon kitchen shot., THe ankles started the electric shock going later. Carer Ahram out some cream on and leg bandage, I can take it off Wed’ when the nurse arrives.
Sorry, not much on today; it’s been a borrowing Tuesday. The prospects for Wed & Thursday are worse than today. I’m not sure of the days, but between Wed & Thursday: Nurse Caroline ♥ Is calling to do another upgraded Dementia Test. A DVT Nurse ♥ is calling for extra blood for further tests. The Warfarin INR is dangerously low at 1.6. The district nurse ♥ is calling to check on my leg lesions and the acne-eczema. The Urology Nurse ♥ is due to visit to alternate the catheter bag. I’ve got two deliveries expected between noon and 22:00 hours. Medical & food. Carer ‘Joe’ is doing the laundry. After that, I have to get the two airers out to dry the washing.
It is late Wednesday morning now. I’m not looking forward to today.
LIBERTY-GLOBAL-OLIGARCHS? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – WELL, LOOSELY! – – – Let’s delve into the truth of ‘Hope’, clinically,
To see if it developed from ampullosity,
‘Hope’ to me seems somewhat bizarrerie,
Because finding it is hard for me…
I don’t act belligerently or truculently,
I’m a ditherer, I don’t act confidently,
My Carer say’s I’ve got too much benignity,
I think I’m shy, nervous and cowardly,
There I go off the subject again, you see?
I’ll try to concentrate more, hopefully…
‘Hope’, to me, seems to be, hypothetically,
A forlorn dream, with no reality…
I thought ‘Hope’ would help Inchy,
But I forgot about his mental instability,
His? I’m him! Another drift from verity,
I still want ‘Hope’ & help regardlessly,
Although I see the pointless futility,
Sometimes I consider ‘Hope’, frivolously,
The next time, maybe negatively,
Then back to frustration & hostility,
Yet I still try so desperately…
Then I go all unenthusiastically,
Depression falls, I turn apathetically…
A seizure, a giving way from Cartilage Chloe,
The coming arrival of complacently,
And I ‘Hope’ for ‘Hope’, pessimistically,
Body & mind acting chaotically,
Ménière’s Mini-seizures, increasingly,
I think I must not lose hope, glibly…
I even turned for help to quixotry!
As if to prove my eccentricity,
Or maybe that ought to be docility?
My physical ailments seem a triviality,
Finding ‘Hope’ & help, surely unrealistically,
The Lord made my life qualificatory…
A body and mind, deformed & queachy,
Doomed; never be happy or peachy,
I have had luck! But only quadrennially,
I acted rightly & astutely, well, in 1953,
I’m more hopeful for my sempiternity…
Not knowing where or when, for eternity,
Pray, please, no return ticket awaitingly!
If I find ‘Hope,’ will it also make me lucky?
Finding ‘Hope’, I try so persistently…
‘Hope’, is it mythical? It’s beyond me!
Why is it such a mystery to me?
Is ‘Hope’ biodegradable and sugar-free?
Why is it issued unequally, unfairly?
I can’t get any ‘Hope’, that’s a certainty,
No ‘Hope’ within by boundaries, locality,
I live in la-la land despondently…
And a part-reality, customarily,
Like others ‘Hope’ seeking, despondently,
I collect bills and demands; it’s called scripophily,
Carer Joe sorts them out for me weekly,
No offers of hope delivered to Inchy…
Finding ‘Hope’ may help propitiatingly,
‘Hope’ I get it before my necropsy!
Sorry about this Ode’s nugacity,
Call on me, & we’ll have a mug of tea,
Ice cream and/or chocolate biscuits…
I’d love a chinwag, mischievously! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Got yesterday’s nosh photo to go on! Well, I think it was. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I didn’t rise until gone 0630hrs this morning. I’d had a long sleep again, broken, but not all that often. I reckon I got six hours in, and that was on the incommodious, uncomfortable, cumbrous, toe-curling, cringe-making, second or third-hand bought from the Oxfam Charity shop, Cathleen-Catheter-Tube-Crushing, hurtful for Harold’s Haemorrhoids, germ-ridden, horrendously grungy, uncomfortable, not-working recliner. I felt a little perky when I got up and decided to clear the waste bins, etc. I
pictured & emptied the night bag. U6 rating. Took a snap of the morning view out of the kitchenette window. I was hit by another of the odd seizures where I knew what was happening, but I was unsure why or what.
This was followed by general confusion and an almost total lack of concentration. I coughed, bringing up phlegm, and my voice went croaky. Walking, it was not easy to keep my balance.
Carer Ahman arrived. He showed concern and again wanted to phone for an ambulance. I disuaded the lad, telling him I was going to get in the bed as soon as he finished. I assured him I’d use the alarm wristlet if things didn’t improve after I’d had a kip. I’m sure we spoke of other things, but not what about? He put my diabetic socks on and gave me the medications. I got into bed while he was doing his report on his mobile phone. He also shut the curtains for me as the light in the room annoyed me for some reason. Ahman said I was not talking clearly but mumbling more; I think he said the same Sunday morning. I genuinely hope that this is not going to happen each morning. A third time, and I will have to press the alarm. I do not have the foggiest idea why this waking up and fading is happening. At least it didn’t last for long.
I bade him thanks and cheerio and settled in the bed, adjusting the settings to ensure I was not lying too flat. Comfort arrived. Yes, I did nod off for a short while. Waking up without any neck, shoulder, or leg jerkings. That in itself was nice! I was under the impression that I’d slept for a few hours because I was feeling so much better now. The wall clock told me I’d only slept for half an hour, but it did the trick. I wasted no time in taking advantage. I went to take another kitchen window photo and used the speed mop to clean the disgustingly dirty kitchenette floor—I hope I’ve not left it sticky again. Then, I took another snap of the late morning view.
I spent ages trying to get the photos on the blog and got most of them on, but it took an aeon!
My beloved tree copse, looking thin still. Close up of the battling for life leaves. Even closer & higher, the crows
have not arrived yet?
Much to my amazement, Carer Joe arrived. It was already 13:25hrs! So, I assume that
Arithmaphobia Arnold had me fooled again. Maybe I’d had some non-epileptic seizures? I can’t remember having them. Peptac issued, I was thinking of asking for a Codeine, but with Anne Gyna being minimal bother at that time, I didn’t want to give her an excuse to kick off with her mobile stabbing pains, which make breathing a little overheavy, painful & hard work. The unsteadiness of my balance was lingering but slowly getting less frequent. The froggy-sounding voice remains, but none of the serious stuff.
I wondered if I’d gone into the kitchen with Kodak-Tim-2 to snap the incredible view while the floor was still wet. I went to check. Now I really was confused. It must have been many hours ago when I mopped it up; there is no chance it could still be wet. What a plonker! Still, I took another shot at the pathway I could no longer get into Woodthorpe Park. Spit!
However, now things were getting better, not the croaking voice. Anne Gyna had belatedly started greeting me with her roving pains and breathing botherations. However, my dizziness and balance had improved, and I found myself singing.
Great Balls of Fire! What’s going on here? Where have I been? What was I doing? It’s nearly 20:00hrs already!
The Carer will be here anytime now, over the next hour or so, and I’ve not had anything to eat or done the ablutions or medicalisations yet! How can this be happening?
Skin on chips, a vegetable and no-meat meat pastie, pickled chestnuts & mushrooms, two wholemeal rolls to make chip butties out of, and salt & vinegar, pepper and Soya BBQ sauce. (A little too hot for me… anybody fancy a bottle?)
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – That’s the lot concerning photos and graphics. Sorry. I was allowed to save just the first of the many pictures and graphics made and taken. I had some I could use again in the WP Gallery. All that time and effort was spent, too. I had some cracking Kodak Tim 2 snaps as well. The computer problems just have me beaten!
I gave up, deciding then not to, and tried again. I cleaned the computer yet again, all of it and put it back on again. Now, the only way to get a photo or graphic on is one at a time, and you have to rename the old image and save the new one using the same name. This cost me hours and hours, so long, I gave it up as well. If I tried to carry on getting photos on, it’d be such a long job, I’d still be doing it on Tuesday! At last, I can put some on, at least one.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – This morning, I may have wassailed,
But, in a tumble, my head was whacked,
I felt weirded and wrongheaded,
My bonce was bruised and wounded,
All a part of my life and my world,
Accifauxpas, to me, are well-founded,
To get back up, I struggled & wriggled,
The catheter leaked, so I widdled…
I laughed; at the same time, I writhed!
Falling back down on the walker…
My neck was sort of whiplashed,
I swore and cursed, but I only whispered,
The Carer arrived; he was wheritted…
Got me up, in pain & urine-wetted
I cleaned & medicated, just as I wanted,
But my confidence by now had wilted,
Anne Gyna joined in, I wearied,
I had a private stocktake, worded…
Me and my brain witwantoned…
For a solution, I waited, & waited,
Peace of mind is what I wanted…
I prayed, hoped & wittered,
Eventually, I just whimpered…
So depressed; Is this life warranted?
My prayers were so wholehearted,
I felt even more withdrawned,
The realisation of failure wrangled,
I can’t recall when I last womanised!
The last time I was pleasantly wooed,
The loins moved, and I was wowed,
Then my leg lesion wheeped…
The fate Lucifer on me has wreaked…
Satins Curse blew & wuthered!
Another seizure, the brain whirled! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’m handwashing again. I laundered two Kaghoules and some socks, hung them in the wet room, and turned on the heater.
Bamboo socks
ABLUTIONS The teeth & gums bled. However, that shave was better, with only one tiny cut! Hoovered the hallway. I took some boxes with the sorted waste bags to the rubbish chute without bothering anyone. Medications went okay, well all apart from the fingal lesion, but I soon stopped the flow.
Carer Ahram arrived. The diabetic socks were put on, the medications were taken, and the daily catheter pouch was changed. It’s all good!
MY LONGEST-EVER SEIZURE! I think Ménière’s disease brought on this type of seizure. I stop doing things when I get this type, but I am reasonably aware of what’s happening. I just can’t get involved until things are clear. But I could be wrong. This has been known regularly daily. I should think maybe nine or ten times a day, at least, and possibly more. Alright, it’s a gusstimate! Haha!
Carer Joe came while I was out of it, but I knew he had been here. He also did the teatime call. Medications and little natter of which U could take part. I like it when that happens.
I investigated what was available for my evening or morning meal in the fridge and freezer. There was much to choose from. The fridage has never been fuller. This is due to my expert skills and ability to carry out, repeatedly; after . By way of doing food orders that I can’t even remember doing. Usually, I end up throwing food I can’t afford to away weekly. As I cleaned the microwave, I often started one job and went on to another, forgetting the original designs I had started with.
Then, I wander off to do something else. The annoying part is when I realise I’d left the hot water tap running, the window open, the fridge door open, even the oven left on – in any combination! I once did them all on the same day. The hot water tap twice! Sure enough, I wandered off and decided to open a can of water chestnuts, slice them up, and add them to three jars: one of pickled mushrooms, one of sweet and sour sauce, and one of black bean sauce. I mixed and shook the jars and put them back into the fridge. Then, I had to nip sharpishly to the . A affair. I cleaned things up.
Then, I returned to the computer to continue my Ode Creating task, which is one of my favourites!
CONTINUED... An hour or so later, I felt doubts come over me. Thinking I may have left the hot tap running, I checked the wet room and kitchen. All was good with the taps… but I’d left the fridge door open! . The fridge had spewed out water down the freezer below onto the floor. Cleaning it up, I could smell vinegar. Huh! One of the jars I’d just made up had a crack! Fancy that, I suppose I must have caused it; I recall struggling to get the mushroom and chestnut jar into the fridge. I moved it to the top shelf. I had to clean each shelf in the fridge, the inner of the door, the outer of the freezer door, and the floor! . I cannot believe today’s rate of mistakes, Whoopsies, Accifauxpa, cock-ups and sheer bad luck! I was well weary, depressed, self-condemned, and self-denigrated. Self-disparagement. Self-ridiculed. “I’m afflicted with a proclivity for self-criticism whereby every blemish is revealed in all its unredeemed ugliness.” Angry at myself too! It’s not easy mopping and hoovering with the stick, mop, bucket, and hoover, especially in my current state: back angina, Glaucoma Gladys fading, and fogging my eyesight. Which is typical for this time of day. Usually starts to fade around 17:00hrs
STILL CONTINUING... I got back to the computer. Again, the fear that I’d left something wrong in the kitchen made me investigate.
Nothing was left on or open.
However, I had still not cleaned the microwave. As I moved it to clean underneath, I found these tablets. Wonder how long they’ve been under there.
The tablets got me looking at some from the medical draw to identify them. They were clean-looking. I didn’t get around to cleaning the microwave! I must have lost similar tablets before cause this photo above was found on file, showing the worktop under the microwave. Angst and depression increased!
I am so tired and frustrated, and at this moment, I am full of pathetic self-pity and something awful!
I did not want to make anything to eat until the last Carer call. I’ll have to go at the WP reader & comments until he/she arrives.
Carer Ahmed came. Socks off, painkillers given.
I won’t attach the night catheter bag because I will cook a meal. I just hope it lets me use it in the morning. Cheers!
I got the photo to go on late Monday morning.
MONDAY MORNING: What a start that was! One for the annuls of medical history! Worth reading. You might not believe it…
But it was how it went for the first two hours.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – <<<<<>>>>> – – – – – – – Be aware that in indiscretion, You may get a mental collision, Which can cause self-derision, Messing up your neurotransmission, And, without your permission! Ailments have no obluctation, You feel that they get oblectation, You visit your neurosurgeon… Is life a pseudo-hallucination? All of our lives are in regression, You’ve lost your retrocognition, PN, DVT, no prognostication, Pharmageddon via your medication? First Diarrhorea, & next constipation, Confidence dies, feeling a pigwidgeon, You think your brain’s an odditorium, And life has got to be ordalian, Do you feel different? Quotidian? Is your social life in desolation? Struggling with conceptualisation? Are you livelier, antemeridian? At noon, do you feel weather-beaten? Do you get afternoon exhaustion? Is tea-time your kipping season? In bed, you can’t sleep for some reason? Is mental fatigue the causation? Or is it your body’s erosion? Does the world seem dystopian? Suffer from sanitary & sanity deterioration? This is often just an old-age condition, Do you think an interruption, a disruption? Have you yet visited a psychometrician? Does Earth need a reconceptualisation? Do you believe in reincarnation? Don’t expect a new life to be utopian! Holidaying in the toilet or the Caribbean? Has life been riddled with Damnification? Was it spent in the lower echelon? Do you suffer self-expostulation? Do you know Earth’s nearing extinction? This is not a joke or effutiation… On this, I stake my reputation, Do you feel an antiquarian?… Well, don’t; it might cause acerbation! It’s now time for an epiphenomenon, Use your brain & nervous system… Admit your guilt, write a eulogium, Shout from Earth’s highest fastigium, Humankind’s end is undoubtedly not an illusion, We’ll all be free of intimidation… Wars, murders, Oligarchs, every politician, The greed, hatred and the odium, Dead, we’ll all be egalitarian! No way get a world-peace installation, Well, this is my prediction… It won’t bear too much contradiction… Life’s events timewise, socialisation… Birth, drugs, sex, physician, mortician, Even if this gives you the impression… That I’m suffering from depression! It’s good to see the back of discrimination! I believe this is mostly speculation… Of course, it’s all theorisation, Moulded to bring frivolity & jollification! – – – – – – – <<<<<>>>>> – – – – – – –
05:20hrs: I rose fumblingly from the hospital bed, trapping the nocturnal catheter bag on the remote bed adjuster, and gave Little Inchie a hell of a tug. This started Inchies’s fungal lesion bleeding; it bled on the quilt, down my leg, and onto the carpet. After I sorted out the mess, I went to the wet room to empty and wrap the catheter pouch that had been removed.
After months without a stubbed toe, I gave myself a second one in two days, on the same ingrowing toenail, as yesterday.
Then, I took a regulation photo of the morning view from the kitchenette window. Well, I got two. This is one of a man and his dog walking into the tree copse over the road, the dog’s tail wagging furiously. A double dose of jealousy affected me. Haha! First, I wished I had a cat or dog for company; second, I missed my beloved, unable to do a daily walk through the copse. (Feeling a smidgeon sorry for myself now.)
Luckily, next, I had just nipped into the wet room to check I’d not left any taps running and found again. I’d run out of the cortisone cream. So I cleaned it and used some of the Germolene instead. Then, I returned to the kitchen and took another photograph of the broad view on offer. Red sky in the morning, Shepherd’s warning!
A bit of a marathon this morning. Bled a little more, I tipped over the bowl I was putting on the floor to stand in while shaving. Bending down to clear up the mess, and flowed again! I finished shaving and got the PPs on. I also touched up the Fungal Lesion, using the acne & eczema cream this time. I’d searched the medication drawers and found a partly filled tube of a different name. But it had a use-by date on it of… Hard to believe, I know, that it’s November 2019!
Carer Joe did the first call. I forgot to mention that Friday was the change-the-catheter bag day.
I booted the computer, an spent the nexy three hours farting about trying to get the photos to save to file. I did the first four, and there was no problem. Then it stopped saving. The usual cCleaner routine; I had to do it six times today! That didn’t help. So, I turned everything off and back on again. That proved an idiotic thing to do, well, not that actually, but forgetting to save the ode I was partway through writing was stupid!
At least it wasn’t so bad—up until now, anyway. Things took a dip after the young girl Carer called on her visit. I was still trying to sort out CorelDRAW and the photos, and a series of kicked off that stayed on and off for a good three hours. This threw me out altogether. With my concentration gone, I managed to get some photos backed up later, but I had to delete the ones used and replace them with the new ones, so to put it. Now, the only copies left are on WordPress, and they can’t be copied or saved for use on the blog or email. I’m not sure if I was heartbroken, frustrated, or I was momentarily leaning towards suicidal.When the Iceland order arrived, I only took one photo of the whole fridge. I didn’t bother taking more because I knew the chances of using them lay within the corrupt power of my old, in-need-of-help, ailing, terminally ill computer. I got some stuff I can’t remember ordering. And somehow I believed I’d ordered some tinned baked beans and tomatoes, none came. It will be better when Carer Joe starts helping with the food ordering. I can’t be relied on, know it, and am incapable of anything that involves numbers, dates, concentration or logic.
The Social Services lady rang to ask how the new Carers were doing. Last week, I wondered if there was any chance of help getting me out shopping rather than the mistake-ridden online routine. The Carer said his boss said no chance. But the Social Lady told me they are giving me an extra hour (Still got to pay for, of course) for domestic and/or shopping assistance. Going slowly senile is a horrible thing, cause you know it, don’t want it, and can do nothing about it. I suppose it’s a little bit like my sex life, nonexistent. Hehehe!
Carer Ahram made the last two calls. He was in a good mood, bless him. The communication was complex, but I like the lad. When she rang, I told the Social lady that he’s likeable and willing. Without Carer Joe, I might have cracked up last week. His help was invaluable to me.
I did notice that when someone came and I put in the repaired hearing aids, I could hear the wall clock ticking and other sounds I could not recognise. Haha!
By the time I finished the meal, it was past midnight. Three oven-baked bacon cobs. This is a terrible photo. I wish I had not bothered with taking it now! Getting this onto the blog took me over two hours in the morning! Saturday’s blog will be a smidge bland. I just can’t keep spending all this time getting the photos saved to file. As usual, the first two went on without a bother. The rest must have taken me hours and hours of repeated failed tries. This can’t go on. I openly beg someone to help me with the computer, please? The trouble is that I can no longer understand written instructions and don’t know any computer jargon, and I get more confused. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – TTFN – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – More Advice for Whippersnappers! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why does life go so dysfunctionally? It’s worse when you get over eighty! Things were once easy and elementary, Just waking up is a struggle daily, It’s hard work, hiding your docility, Losing all of little in the first-place divinity, You may keep some social logicality, But relying on others benignancy, You’ll no longer act condemnatorily, Deprecatorily, reproachfully, harshly, Limbs stop working, physically, The brain torments you mentally, Cataract or Glaucoma visually, Catheter bag hanging on your knee, Diabetes, & Peripheral Neuropathy? Seizures, some short, some prolifically, Allergies that send you psychedelically, You decide to fight these, purposefully, But not pseudo-scientifically, You’ll try visionary things, quixotically… You failures you accept quotidianly, They put you in a bit of a quandary, But you try again quintessentially, You pray, beg, & hope for a qualificatory… For a way to live again, more painlessly, More reliably, more competently, To find joy again, sociality… The cartilage gives way on your knee, You seek assistance medically… Soon back home, having a mug of tea, Crutches, walkers, some get them free, If you’ve too much cash, quintessentially, Then free ones will be only visionary, Oh, to live life rambunctiously, More importantly, it’s hassle-free, Then, the bill arrives for your electricity, The rent goes up heartlessly… Food prices rise pitilessly, No time for theory, with things pecuniary, But ageing, ever-fading, irreversibly… Life in the UK is now recessionary, Oligarchs reacting unsympathetically, HMG treats farmers, pensioners cruelly, Scoffing at their voters, insensitively, You youngsters must act rebelliously, We oldies at best see HMG resentfully, You must declare HMG’s risibility, We’ll never see the end of war & poverty, Murder, killing, greed or rapacity, Look down from heaven or hell, happily… Enjoy the long-awaited doomsday, The end of the world? A catastrophe? You’ll join us in Hell if there’s the capacity!
Voters have got to show more audacity,,
I dream of being able to again wee-wee,
By this, I mean, when I to, manually,
Be free of seizures and myelopathy,
Diabetic diabetes, not be so moody,
The depressions would leave me be,
Arthur Itis, & fungal-lesions go away,
My cartilages could work mellifluously,
I’d be freed of feeling minaciously,
To find a computer engineer, mirabiliary,
My hearing returns, miraculously…
My one dream left is to live carefree! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
It was a wickedly frustrating day! Not compared to the last two horrible days, mind you. But the computer toyed with me every time. Precious few photographs got on after the first few did, early in the day. Then freezes, and some fonts have disappeared. I spent so long trying get things to work, but without a lot of luck. I fear the worst, computerwise. >>>>><<<<< The best colour ever, a three!
A dour morning. The sun broke through later, but it wasn’t worth taking any pictures cause of the computer!
Colin Cramps paid a few visits today (Old photo used again)
Carer Jo did the first call. He was helpful again with the mail. Thanks.
Ahram, the second. He tried to help with the computer problems, which I spent hours and hours trying to sort out. I didn’t!
Early in the afternoon, the weariness came over at its usual time. Then Anne Gyna woke up, and the mini-seizures paid so many short visits.
I made an early meal and took a photo, but I don’t expect it to get to the file somehow.
Hristina, the DVT Warfarin nurse, arrived and took some blood. I do love her. (Old photo used) >>>>><<<<< I was not feeling too good then. Made worse again when the seizures kicked off and Ann Gyna joined in. I gave up trying to sort the damnable computer.
Washed the dishes, sat to watch some TV, and blissfully fell asleep around 17:20hrs.
1735hrs, the Carer woke me up. So tired and in some pain with Anne Gyna roving about my chest, back and neck as if she was taking a hiking holiday over my torso! Haha!
GANNET INCHY! Peed-off, frustrated, and coping with another Anne Gyna (angina) attack. Deeply depressed and fed up with struggling with the computer and CorelDRAW, I made an earlier-than-usual nosh. In the morning, it took me well over two hours to upload this one photo; the other six would not save to file!Grrr! Beef & onion in gravy, with colcannon mashed potatoes and carrots, with the last of the milk roll sliced bread used to dunk in the gravy. GORGEOUS! I dined well, and Anne Gyna appreciated the stomach being filled cause she calmed down a lot! Two hours later, after the Carer had been and gone, Anne Gyna began to worsen again. What did I think would be a good idea? To eat more! Understand the pain that caused me to gobble up a full giant pouch of Cheez-It nibbles with cashew nuts, pecan and pistachio nuts in between! I think mayhap, may have helped me was scoffed away in between falling asleep and being woken by with more venom than normally used on me. I think I ate some nibble or other after each enforced-waking-up.
I could not get back to sleep this time. So, I put the TV on, and there were two back-to-back episodes just starting. I would guess that I must have nodded of for a few minutes what seemed like every few minutes. The jerking back to wakefulness was not hindered by this time, though. Because I was enjoying myself so much again, that was the reason for my awakening! Right neck, jaws, left high chest, centre chest, left rib cage, lower chest, throat, back to the left neck… On and on. If her domain is my body, I think she must have taken a world cruise to issue her stabbings this time. Haha! Still, on the plus side, the steadied up, and I had few overnight.
It might be worth me remembering that. Do you think that when the come thick and fast, it might be an idea for me to eat a lot? Hahaha! It seemed to keep her calm tonight!
After missing most of the Heartbeat programmes through the mini-nod-offs, the food, the healthy and the naughty, had travelled down and through the pipeworks, and I needed to utilise the for a second time today. It may have been my uncontrolable hunger and scoffing so much that caused to be in total control of the proceedings. No doubt about it, it was the messiest mess for a long time. Maybe months!
I cleaned up myself and the Porcelain, during which an almost forgotten-about ailment accifauxpas took place. I ! Another rarity, I don’t think I’ve given myself a toe-stubbing for weeks now. Well, it’s a bit of variety for me. Hah-Ha!
With the minor kerfuffling and toe-stubbing, I was glad to get into the hospital bed. But the vague sleep that I was getting earlier, did not want to know. I still felt tired and weary but could not nod off for hours. When I did, it was back to the shooting awake with a jerk. I think I might be that jerk. Hee-hee! But it was good that after that, each time I woke, I got back to sleep easily enough. >>>>><<<<< – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – TTFNski, Folks! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – >>>>>TWO<<<<< My memory has been slowly macilated, Naturally, it cannot be modified,
My neurosurgeon tried…
That was much appreciated,
My memory then abscinded,
It’s new stuff can’t be remembered,
What bit can that is usually aberrated,
But old things are not abrogated, When Grizelda and I mated…
The memory is now well dated,
But as clear, but abrogated…
As any bloke who’s been cathetered,
Such memories can get you castrated!
Fellow Foley-catheter-wearing men will painfully understand wot I mean! Haha! >>>>>ARGH!<<<<< – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Have a Great Day! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – >>>>><<<<<
Let’s see what’s on today’s agenda…
If allowed to by my aprosexia,
First, try to avoid anoxia,
Getting worked up into dysphoria,
Ignore my graphomania,
Prepare for the hereinafter,
Get through the pain of my dyschezia!
>>>>><<<<<
A speedo or an accelerometer,
I’d call it a speedometer,
But unsafe speeding; I’m an abnegator,
I’d sooner get there later,
Not in hospital on a ventilator,
Not that this is exactly ataraxia,
The food is not exactly ambrosia!
>>>>><<<<<
I was born with things homuncular,
And misshaped things testicular,
It didn’t bother me particular,
It did later, howsomdever,
Girls interested in my hylomania,
They drove me into habromania,
Now I use a haemacytometer!
>>>>><<<<<
Soon, henceforth-in future,
As I get more ancienter,
I meet more with the Grim Reaper,
Not like the expected harbinger,
He’s no shyster, or defrauder,
Just a long-dead, soul collector,
Trying to make your death pleasanter!
>>>>><<<<<
I take-not in anything jentacular,
Porridge, cornflakes, grits, Ergh!
I was told not to by a medical advisor,
He was found to be a drug-abuser,
He became the prison beekeeper…
I don’t understand either!
>>>>><<<<< – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – WEDNESDAY, 2nd APRIL 2025 I had even fewer jumping awakes last night. Thought Storming Steve was the culprit for the majority of these almost nightmarish events. Although the tormenting, mocking, blame-apportioning flood of self-abuses and guilty past actions were vivid in my mind each time I was woken up, they faded swiftly, in time for me to regain my state of slumber. TSS started over with, I think, different bits of guilt-giving and blame over my past errors & bad choices.
After sorting the waste bags and getting the night catheter removed and classified as a ‘5’ on the NHS scale, I went through the same things I had yesterday when preparing for the Audio Clinic lift, which I’m sure will come today. Ablutions and medicationalisings are done. I was on the computer when the Caregiver arrived. He issued the prescription medications. I had to ask him for Peptac, and Ahram used some Porpain Gel on the right catheter, which had given way on me while Ahram was here. He got the socks on for me and asked me if I needed the shoes on, which I did. A good job that he remembered!
The computer allowed me to save the top two graphics and nothing else.
I checked the bag I was taking with myself; everything seemed to be there. Then, I visited the Porcelain Throne and checked the contents of the three-wheeled walker again. I will have to add my reading glasses.
I got readied and entered the ground floor foyer with the three-wheeled walker. I met my friend Jenny’s other half there and chatted about old age. We found we had many similar annoying age-related problems. Haha!
A little late, but not a lot—merely a few minutes—the EasyLink minibus arrived with no trousers on to make access to the catheter bag easy. As I went through the door, the wind blasted up my privates something awful. Hehehe! An accident had delayed the lad. He got me up the lift and settled in, but I only had my last tenner to pay him, and he had no change. So, he told me to pay for both journeys when I got picked up at 13:00 hrs. We had to go to West Bridgford and were taken to the same place. The traffic was delayed due to road works in West Bridgford. I went inside the waiting room and waited. But once I registered, I was summoned in a short while. I went to the treatment room with a pretty young Asian girl who could not easily understand my Nottingham accent. She got both hearing aids working again within ten minutes or so. She changed the tubing on them, and now it sounds like everyone is shouting at me. Har-Har!
I’d got an hour before the pick-up time. Luckily, I’d taken the crossword book and a pen with me. I snuggled into a chair and fell asleep! At one point, I mentioned my many nodding offs to a receptionist if she had seen anyone with an EasyLift uniform on. She hadn’t. But I dare not sit down again. I saw the sunshine through the door windows and decided it would be safer and less chance of missing the lift if I went outside to wait for EasyLift. I’d only got twenty minutes or so to wait. The bus arrived after 40 minutes of wind blowing anywhere and everywhere it could, and the catheter was filling up later.
There was another accident in the City Centre, and buses were rerouted.
The driveress did a grand job of getting me back to the flats. I was a little worried because Carer Joe said earlier that he would call at 0130hrs when I should be back by then.
After parking, paying the bill and getting off the bus, Joe approached us. Very understanding, he half-expected us to be late with the news about the accidents and road works on the news.
He took the laundry down and put it in the washer. He then returned to the flat and checked an email I was dubious of. Joe started sorting out the junk room one. He got a lot done in half an hour. He went down to collect the laundry from the dryer, pointing out that he’d have to bring it up part-wet because he’d done his time. I asked him to leave it and that I’d fetch it later. “Don’t Forget To!” he said. With the hearing aids now working, I heard him.
Amazingly, I remembered to. The sad part is that not one was allowed to go on file of all the photos I took in the laundry room. There is definitely Something WrongHere!
I pressed on with the day’s blog.
Then, I hand-washed a Khagoule and hung it to drip dry from a coathanger in the wet room. But I made the mistake of forgetting I’d put the heater on to help it dry. I did, but that was hours later and a few quid less in my pocket! Humph! Thanks to Starmer stopping we pensioners’ fuel allowance and allowing power charges to go up by 40% since he cheated and lied his way into office!
Suddenly, it was almost time for Joe to make his teatime call. I was getting hungry now. But I’ll wait until the chap calls. I think I’ll have a microwave meal and some bread to fill me up. Or maybe choose the much-loved potato cakes and a vegetable pastie.
I doubt I can use the photo, but I’ll try again tonight with the potato cakes and vegetable pasty.
Back in the morning, I hope.
Back with the bad news of the potato cakes and vegetable pasty feast… Depressed, sick & tired of bothering to do anything, but why, you ask (I hope), I’ll tell and show you…
I put the feast in the oven to cook for 25 minutes and returned to shut down the computer, which promptly seized up on me and granted me a blue screen of death! It took me a lot of time, over three hours, to toy with the unknown and risk getting it back running. I do not know what I was doing, but it worked after I rebooted. I had to sign into everything again and check on CorelDraw to find that most photos had magically disappeared again! Anny Gyna gave me her first nasty attack of the day… and as I was searching for the mended hearing aids to put in…
I became aware of the burning and a little smoke entering the room. The food had dried hard & mega-crispy.
When I squeezed one of the potato cakes, it turned into a little stack of black crumbs!
Very disappointed with myself. My self-lambasting and lousy language flowed. I wanted to spit!
I got a Sweet & Sour ready meal from the freezer and microwaved it. I ate it with some slices of Milk Roll Bread and dunked it in the sauce. Which were the highlights of the meal.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’ve no claims to anything academical,
I’m interested in anything apodeictical,
Like the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle,
Some claim that he used to hit the bottle,
I used to drink a lot, being self-critical,
The only trait we share? Being alcoholical,
But I can auger, but not astrological,
My success rate is astronomical,
I see this world is not ameliorable,
I know why Starmer is amerceable,
Takes backhanders, is unprosecutable,
His promises are agathokakological,
His cohorts are also not punishable,
As they appease the Oligarchical,
I seek words that are encourageable,
Proletariats are now extirpable…
MP’s morals uncouth, aethereal,
They lie, seek self-profit & teazle,
HMGs are foxy, furtive, deceitful,
Slithery, snidey, sidestepping, hurtful,
They should be accusable and arrestable,
Indeed, are they executionable?
Has HMG been proven unreliable?
Who takes over? That’s questionable!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I had the usual broken sleep, but at least this time, it was broken far fewer times, and I got four½ and a half hours! I was too late to complete the ablutions before the Asda delivery arrived. I collated the things that I needed to take to the Audio Clinic and visited the Porcelain Throne. It was a messy! Trotsky Terence affair.
06:20hrs: I checked emails to confirm the timing of the order. 0700 > 0800hrs.
So, I got the computer to start this blog. Soon kicked off, as is typical when I am in a ‘feeling the pressure mode’ over the clinic lifts and appointments. Foggy-Brained!
I’m not sure when the Caregiver will arrive, but I hope he will be here for the delivery to help get it in. Then I can store it away. And get on with the hurried ablutions, medicalisationings, and risky job of getting the trousers on. I’ll get the things to take into the three-wheel-wheeled-walker while I think of it. I must get down in the lobby at 10:30hrs so as not to miss the lift, which may come early or late, depending on how many others they have to pick up and drop off en route.
The carer arrived as I was taking in the Asda food. After I’d got all the bags in the kitchen, I joined the Caregiver, who put the medications and socks on. Then, as I was going out, I asked him to help me put on the trousers and shoes.
Pretty colours this morning
Asda delivery
Ready-made meals (Almost)
I got the Carer’s & Nurses nibbles & drinkies topped up on the table and cabinet.
The computer stopped allowing me to upload photos. I had to delete the few I’d not put on and clean the drive with cCleaner again. I’ll try later when I get back from the Audio Clinic. That was the plan!
It was a heck of a rush getting the stand-up wash, shave, and medications done. I flapped a bit, getting all the paperwork and the list of things I needed to take with me. I checked the EasyLink lift.
On the way down to the foyer to await the lift, I dropped some bits off in appreciation of the help Jenny and Frank have so often given me on their floor. I went down in the lift, worrying if I’d forgotten to take anything. I got seated in the chair and got the camera out as I checked the bag of things in the trolley-walker. 10:15hrs, plenty of time. They have replaced the stolen wall clock. It has fancy smaller figures, but I’d had my wristwatch on.
Almost straight away, I found myself fighting off the closing eyelid. The tiredness and fatigue were back! I’m sure I nodded off momentarily a good few times. But at least when the driver comes to the foyer door, she/he will see me even if I’d nodded off. But the frequency worried me; I really was struggling to stay awake. Likely it was the comfort of the chair that I wasn’t used to, having to use the £300 second-hand shop-bought, c1966, moth-eaten, bedraggled, grotty, cringingly beige-coloured, much-dilapidated, crumb-containing from my nocturnal nibblings, bug-ridden, itch-inspiring, not-working recliner.
I was concerned that I may have nodded for a little longer than I thought; I may have missed the driver from EasyLink. Guilt raised its ugly head. I waited until I should have been starting the appointment, realising that I must have made a faux pas or they had trouble getting a driver. Not knowing, I decided to believe that I must have made a Whoopsiedangleplop. And ! This turned me swiftly into a curmudgeonly grump! I walked along the connecting passageway to Winwood Court in case they (EasyLink) called at the wrong block of flats. Nope! Back misrably to the flat amidst the depression, self-lambasting, and the catheter bag getting overfull!
I sorted out the waste from the earlier delivery and got the bags down the waste chute.
I decided to prep the meal for the microwave later: Colcanon mash, minced beef, gravy, carrots, peas, and water chestnuts. I put it in the fridge. I also turned on the computer to keep this blog up to date. I hoped the phone would ring to clarify whatever mistake I’d made. It did!
Frustrated, Depressed & Self-Loathing… CONFUSED! – HAD ENOUGH! I can’t take any more of these problems! ARITHMAPHOBIA TO BLAME, this time!
What happened, as I see it.
The pleasant lady from EasyLink telephoned to confirm that Wednesday’s lift to the Audio clinic was pick-up at 10:25 and lift back at 13:00 hrs! When I checked the timings yesterday, I must have been the arithmaphobia. I’d already got it down for Wednesday but got mentally entangled with the digits again. So, I’ve got all this to do again in the morning! This sounds scary to me, actually.
I got the meal cooked and eaten.
Lightened a smidge, but I was so annoyed at myself!
