Carer Andrew – Inchie Today

Inchie Today: Saturday’s Waffle & Odes20th June 2025

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G: Ayup, midduck, yer looking rough…
I: You would be if yer had my unlucky stuff,
G: Complaining again, always moaning,
I: I’ve got cause for bemoaning & groaning,
G: Have I upset yer yet again?
I: Nae, I’m sorry, everything’s going wrong,
G: Yeah, tell that to every time I come along,
I: I always have bad luck attacking, with increasing unsolved problems amassing,
G: Yeah, I know that, obviously…
But helping you cope could be tricky,
I: All you do is take the piss out of me!
G: Can’t blame me if you’re off your trolley,
I: Do yer mean sort of mentally?
G: You’ve lived too long, yer going bonkers!
I: Nae, I’ve been that since the sixties,
G: Yeah, also a worthless bupkus…
I: Hang on, bupkus, what’s that? Tell us!.
G: Man of no value, significance, or substance!
I: Why are you making all these besmutches?
G: You were caught wearing bodices…
I: I was only four, they were my mams’
What’s all this to do with my problems?
G: Don’t get upset if I get carnaptious…
It’s what happens to your soul that matters,
I: You’ve come to add it to your collections?
G: Oh, aye, we Reapers are also clavigers,
I: Blimey, more rare words, go on tell us…
G: We’re your soul’s caretakers, custodians,
I: I’ve lost your plot, worra yer saying?
G: It’s compassion that I am relaying…
I can return your soul as you get buried…
So you must avoid being cremated…
See? I can have you resuscitated!
I: And I can live again? Sort of reactivated?
G: I guarantee you’ll not be disenchanted,
I: Reincarnation? Makes me feel dejected!
G: Typical answer, I expected!
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THE DAWN OF ANOTHER DAY
Saturday 16th June 2026
Terrible night again last night, but at least the crippling mind and body failures of Friday have not affected me at all this morning. I’m curious as to what caused my problems yesterday. But so glad that Carer Ejaz made the first call. To take good care of me, I appreciated that.
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I finished off yesterday’s blog, turned off the computer, and settled in to watch a series of three World Cup Matches. But, fell blistfully asleep. For the longest period of the night. About half an hour. Then Carer Andrew arrived and woke me up, much to my discontent.
Medicines taken, legs Cetraben-creamed, Shaking Shoulder Shirley & my back was Phorpain gelled. After the lad had gone, I felt sure that sweet Morphius would enfold me again.
He didn’t. For the next five hours, I kept nodding off, but only for a minute or two, and sprang awake accompanied by various elements, and a few times in a “Where-the-Hell-am-I” mode.
My intentions to get up were prompted by the arrival of . But at least I got up today without falling back down again. That was pleasing. I pressed the ‘Booster button’ on the meter and sat at the computer for a further hour or so. hoping the water would heat up.
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I replied to an email from Jenny, then went to check the heat of the water from the tap. It was not exactly hot, so I had to boil a kettle of water for shaving. Sorry that I bothered you now. I made a terrible job of shaving. Not realising until after I washed & brushed up. How I didn’t notice before, I don’t know. A check on my Bic razors revealed they needed dishing and new ones using, but I didn’t do either. They were clogged up.
Then I had an incident with the toothbrush that, if filmed, would have been a prime recording worthy of being sent to You’ve Been Framed. I leaned to pick up the toothbrush, with the toothpaste in my other hand.
Bear in mind, this all happened in about 12 seconds. The brush shot out of my hand and hit the wall. bounced back shooting by me, rebounded off of the top tray, I managed to grab it, and dropped it straight away, and it fell into the WC.
While I was smiling at this, I realised that during the battle to control and retrieve the toothbrush, I’d squashed the toothpaste from the tube. You would not believe how much shot from the tube, spreading all over the wetroom mats, floor, sink, the WC, and down my overgenerous belly, left leg and foot, and on my testicles.
A bugger to clean up as well! Humph!
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I did my best to catch up on sleep. I actually drifted off.
For about half an hour, the Carer crept in and woke me up. This time, I literally jumped awake. Setting off, Shaking Shoulder Shirley. Carer issued the drugs, Porpain gelled the shoulder and legs. And was soon off, he was running behind, he said. I tried putting the TV on, which usually works, when I can’t get to sleep. But it was of no use; back to just dowsing and involuntarily adopted a sort of, well, a Give-It-Upperdness, and got on with creating the second Inchie Ode At I5:00hrs. I got nearer to falling asleep than I had all day, doing this. They do not flow easily when one is struggling to concentrate & has not slept for 4 days.
I paused to ask Google for advice on this.
I wrote: An 80-year-old imitation male, under stress, cannot sleep despite being tired.
SLEEP & AGEING
Insomnia is a common sleep disorder, characterised by a persistent difficulty falling to or remaining asleep, despite the opportunity to do so. People with insomnia also experience excessive daytime sleepiness and other cognitive impairments while they are awake that directly stem from sleep loss. People may have sleep-onset insomnia, which causes difficulty falling asleep, or sleep maintenance insomnia, which causes difficulty staying asleep. Some people with insomnia experience sleep onset and sleep maintenance issues.
According to current estimates, 15-30% of 70-year-old and older adults live with insomnia. Older people are more susceptible. Attributed to a few different factors. Seniors are at higher risk of medical, psychiatric and neuropathological conditions. That can lead to insomnia symptoms, as well as other sleep disorders. Breathing or restless legs syndrome. Our internal circadian clocks and sleep-wake cycles can also change as we age, and these changes affect how long – and how well – we sleep.

Additionally, certain medications used to alleviate symptoms of geriatric medical conditions can, in fact, cause more sleep disturbances.
Glad I asked for advice on the problem.
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Self-faults that one has detected…
Situations that one has diffused,
One’s capabilities… now disintegrated,
Awareness of being disprivileged,
Dreams, hopes, now devastated,
The air we breathe, spiked, defiled…
Promises, compassion are disparaged,
As truth and decency are disavowed,
The poor demotivated & denigrated,
Violence, wars, Oligarchs delighted…
The balloon-of-hope is now deflated,
Death disregarded, water disconnected,
Innocents dehydrated, decapitated,
The world has never been so divided,
Commoners lives & deaths disacknowledged,
Lifetimes of pain for the disadvantaged,
Millions of colaterally-damaged, destituted,
Our new HMG has already disintegrated,
Sadly, these facts do not deprehend!
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Inchie Today: Wednesday 17th June 2026 – Teriible start ot the day!

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MUST BE THE WORST DAY EVER – UP TO NOW
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LOUSY NIGHT – CRUEL MORNING
Managed a few moments of sleep, kept waking up in a right peed off mood. Just needed sleep, but the demons and evilf-fieindly bad-luck-bringing thoughts of my own concoction seemed unbeatable today.
Rising from the bed and hobbling my way to the nocturnal Catheter pouch on the floor near the recliner, my right leg gave way, and once again, as yesterday, I was fortunate enough to lean towards the chair to land semi-softly and injury-free.
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I was still sitting in it, and trying to nod off again, as the intercom chined out its “Oh, Susana” tune. The knee gave way as soon as I stood up, and by the time I’d got to the panel to admit the Carer, it had closed down. I waited a few minutes to see if they had been admitted or would ring back, then returned to the recliner, expecting the Carer to come in. “Oh, Susana”, rang out again. This time, I got to the box a bit quicker and in time to let them in.
Carer Mizra appeared, did a body check, and creamed or gelled the areas in need. Shoulder, back and genitals. Then Mizra got the medications issued.
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I was pleased with how the new computer was working. When first opened, both external drives were accessible! But, of course, within a few minutes, they had disappeared. Back to normal, then. The hour-and-a-half Carer visit didn’t happen, the same as yesterday.
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1) The computer, specifically CorelDraw, froze as I clicked export for the Cartoon to go to the file to use here.
2) I could not close down by the regular route. So had no choice but to turn off at the power sockets.
3) But I could not get the computer to reboot.
Nothing but trouble since paying £850 plus fitting to get this computer, and I could not find his telephone number!
But knew that Mizra had it, as he liaises for me.
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4) Carer Andrew made the short midday call. I asked him to ring Mizra and ask him to call the engineer. No reply, so I don’t know if he did.
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5) While he was here, I tried a couple of times to get the computer back on, but both attempts failed.
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6) I found the Carer lying in the hallway on his mobile.
I thought he’d gone. I asked him again to contact Mizra for me. No response.
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7) I did get the loading to go as far as the opening label screen, but this one usually comes up first… so it was not a surprise when the ‘Working Circle’ appeared and the mouse arrow showed on the screen. It stayed like this for over an hour! Demoralising!
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8) I turned everything off at the power again and lost the TV signal in doing so, and heard a series of Beeps coming from the hard drive.
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9) All off again. TV was not affected this time.
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10) This had to be my last try. I was so downhearted.
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11) Then, I got a telephone call from a something navigator, from the Doctors Surgery. She mentioned a meeting with advisers I’d been invited to via email. There was a vague memory, but nothing certain. The lady explained it was about sorting people’s needs out, and the best way to do so. I jumped at the chance. I think she said someone would be calling to arrange a meeting.
Linda, I think her name was. I mentioned my wish, if possible, to go into a home. In hopes of relieving the tensions from getting nothing sorted, with problems being added almost daily, which challenges my sanity, health, and my ability to cope.
12) Today is a good example. The early tumbles. The computer is playing up yet again. No hot water. 4 weeks since my last shower or shopping assistance. Adding to the Banking, British Gas, Virgin Media, the new Catheter’s lack of information or instructions. No help was given with managing procedurally.
13) Do I carry on with a weekly day-bag change? Is it safe to use with a nocturnal pouch fitted?
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14) Not that I could put photos on the blog, anyway, both camers are broken!
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14) Now, my prime love/hatred, the new computer, cannot access CorelDraw or Excel. So, there are no graphics or photographs that can be used. Other than any already in the WordPress gallery.
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15) I rang the District nurses for help on how to manage the new Catheter, who told me to contact the QMC. I went on a little about the situation I am in.
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I then rang Jenny, who rang back. But I was not really with it t the time, in fact, I had a nasty seizure after making the call, mind blank. Extra confusion.
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16) I received a call back from the nurses while still a little out-of-it. I was asked if I am really interested in going into a home. I think I took this opportunity to get my thoughts out, and they will ask Matron Jackie to see if she can get the ball rolling. Brilliant. Cause things are getting worse here now. Problems increasing, solutions decreasing.
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Movements from the rear end started again today, all in Constipation Conrad mode. A bit of blood each time from the haemorrhoids. At least no accidental evacuations with Conrad.
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I’ll have to do only the Ode. Oh, it’s been such a busy, annoying day; I’ve not done it yet.

I suspect this blog holds ampullosity?
Changing moods bring ambivalency,
Spent most of the day crestfallenly,
Spent many sessions self-critically,
Problems showing no curability,
Concentration, showing a deficiency,
Hopes, needs, logic, all seem to disagree,
Depression increases, diurnally…
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Is life, like a politician, an effigy?
Not realistic, no ecclesiology?
What happened to youth’s excitability?
80, first time owing for your electricity?
Into the mist, goes you equilibrity,
No more mental or physical euphony…
I used to hope for an epiphany…
But life now proves more euphuistically,
I also dreamt of finding eudaemony…
I got this depressing ennui!
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It was once suggested by Dr Neurology,
To help me electroencephalographically,
But that was in September, 2003,
Then a stroke, TBI, and Cancer hit me,
Dr Neurolgy again saw me in 2023,
Sometimes I can think with clarity…
I hasten to add, this happens rarely,
Then my mind goes wanderingly,
Mind blanks can hit anytime, lastingly…
or for a few moments, mysteriously,
Moments too, of great falability,
Frequent occasions of mental obliquity,
With unstoppable times of neurotomy,
Hoyrly changes to me nimiety,
Dementia turned me flibbertigibbety,
Duodenal ulcer, hernia, verbal nugacity,
But can I face the nitty-gritty?
The crux of the problematic matter?
Slowly but surely going détraquée!
I’m now an ace at dontopedalogy,
Few teeth left, crinkled skin, pilgarlicky…
Had enough of life’s woes & mallarky,
Being as I don’t want to sound sarky…
To avoid moaning and negativity,
I blame it on my pfropfschizophrenie!
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Lack of control, of happenings & events,
My ever-changing consciousness,
From unawareness to utter cluelessness.
People I talk to will see/hear a difference…
No in-between, Depression or High Horace,
Decisions to be made, I’m on the fence,
Knowing danger, what’s my response?
Forget; as it dies in my memory disperses,
Involuntarily, to my memory burners,
Lack of control, of happenings & events.
Make life a struggle, that’s so intense…
Worries, problems, Catheter, fears…
Self-hatred, incapable, many mental fratches,
Solutionless, can’t batten down any hatches,
I hate my changing moods & responses,
Often say things I find erroneous,
Mostly to myself, & of course Darius,
Important dates, numbers, emails…
Texts, etc., that no one can solve,
Fade away, making me feel injudicious,
I used to think that life was so precious,
Now it’s approaching worthless,
New computer, camera, faith, & hopes,
All kaput, I feel so inefficacious,
Really, my outlook is hopeless…
I hate my changing moods & responses.
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I’m Struggling!
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TTFN

Inchie Ode: Saturday 13th June 2026

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I appreciate Earth’s coming extinction,
I hold my own-formulated view, an apriorism,
What brought about this abnormalisation?
Which worsened with each generation,
Bringing about this apocalypticism,
Be it Oligarchs making ammunition…
Gangsters, Mafia, or another Politician,
Judges, give five 5 tears for non-fatal arson,
Murderers get 10, out in five with remission,
A fine for Bankers showing corroboration,
Barristers, judges, hypocritical and alien,
Starmer, Trump, Xi Jinping and Putin…
Each dishonest, a liar, using abstraction,
They start wars, just for a distraction…
What can be done by the proletariat, scum?
Are all crooks standing at each election?
Starmer is a clever liar; taught as a barrister,
Who often welcomes a backhander,
This is why he is sadly still in power,
Starmer the feigner, the verbal-dribbler,
But the opposition is not a lot better…
Kemi Badenoch, Tory Shadow Leader…
Your Party, the only NHS supporter,
I feel for Kemi, after the Tory disaster,
Nigel is the only leader who’s a smiler,
Despite his failings, Keir’s still the leader?
PM? I see him as a National Grim Reaper,
Promises not kept, the NHS sinks deeper…
He’s a disingenuous, foxy equivocator,
So, I’m ready for my sepulchre…
Life is now full, apocryphally,
I’ve no strength to act anarchically,
Last week, the nurse said to me…
A blocked Catheter is a medical emergency.
The next day, the Catheter was blocked, poor me!
Two nurses came to change the contraption,
Both failed to complete the action…
My Willie refused each attempted insertion,
After they held a phone conversation…
Told me to get a taxi to the QMC,
Reporting to the A & E…
So, I did, it cost me £25.40!
Getting there took time, an hour and forty!
Got inside, the place, A & E, was filthy…
No towels or paper in the WC,
Through the lesions, I began to forcefully pee!
I waited until I was called in the A & E,
Got called, I went, urine drippingly…
A nurse asked questions, & did my BP,
Back in a chair, ever waitingly,
To another waiting room, he led me,
Then the lesion wee’d, more forcefully,
I hobbled back to the main room WC,
Now it had towels and bog rolls, thankfully,
Clean up what I could, embarrassingly,
Returned to the waiting room number three,
“Where have you been?” She said to me,
I had a leak, had to go to the cludgie,
“They’ve moved you to the back of the queue!”
She said, smiling, “I took a seat, waitingly!”
A good job, this was a Medical Emergency!
They may have sent me home to return on Friday,
Two yobboes were arrested, while I sat patiently,
Getting late, will they have time to tend to me?
A Urologist called my name, eventually…
To his cubicle, he then guided me,
He set about putting in a new style Catheter…
With a hook on the end to go into the bladder,
He failed his first try, I was worried…
Tried & failed again, tut-tutted, and phoned,
“We’ll try once more, with Mr Edward”…
“Follow me!” So, did…
Not in a good mood for failing…
He urged me along, as I was hurried,
Mr Edward was not happy either, I’m afraid,
Had his coat on, his expression gave out dread…
He didn’t speak; maybe he was an android?
His angry eyes, I had to avoid…
Think he was on his way home, thus annoyed,
He wasn’t pleased working where I’d wee’d,
He had a go getting the hooked tube inserted…
Gave out a mild growl when he failed,
Tried once more, success was achieved!
No tips or advice on the new Catheter device,
No, I’m wrong, I was not supposed…
to touch the stick-on pad on my thigh!
Got his coat on, out the door he did fly,
I stood in the corridor, like a homunculi,
No one in sight, I almost wanted to cry…
The nice nurse came to me, eye-eye…
I’m to wait in the corridor, and defunkify…
Waiting on a lift home, which was nigh!
Glad I was classed as a Medical Emergency,
Cause I saw no signs of any urgency,
The men came to the ambulance & they led me,
To the vehicle with pains in my right knee,
Then I must admit, to a little self-pity…
As the drivers locked me in and left me,
Tired, hungry, cold, and stinking of pee…
As they went to collect more patients,
To collect them from different departments,
Slowly, they loaded up the ambulance,
I dropped off last, as midnight advances,
They took me up to the flat, taking no chances,
In case I had any tumbles or seizures,
Rang NCC control, using the Alert Controllers,
Then I found the hot water, icily colder!
No wash, shave, or urine removal,
Too risky for me to keep boiling the kettle,
Warmed water, to clean the crutch and testicles,
The Catheter sticker, and divider adminicle,
It moved, collapsed, pulling on my appendicle,
The sticker fell off after a while…
Remember, it’s a Medical Emergency…
To which I should get a taxi to the QMC,
Couldn’t afford a taxi home; I had barely a penny!
I calmed down to make an appraisal…
Nine hours and £25.40, to get fitted…
Four hours later, I involuntarily micturated,
It’s Sunday now, and I’m well-miffed,
I hope you can follow my drift…
Then you can advise me,
My body & mind are acting inappropriately,
I’ve lost my Ode plot again, sadly…
Even thinking is rather addledly,
The right leg is much easier today,
Unlike Shaking-Shoulder-Shirely,
She’s giving me near agony,
I asked Carer Mizra to ring the Doctor,
Then he can arrange a day and hour…
That fits in with the ICC Carers,
I think that’s sensible and wise,
Hope the Catheter has no blockages,
No advice or guides from the QMC Doctors,
On managing with the new Catheters,
All I’ve been told by the nurses is…
“Any problems, get a taxi to the QMC”,
Taxi? I may not have enough money,
And it is a Medical Emergency.
The nurses will be glad to see the back of me,
What with me calling them fortnightly,
And my squirting, spraying my pee…
Through the lesions on Little Inchy,
I think I’d be better in a home residency,
I wouldn’t be bothering Frank & Jenny,
For doing this, I’ve always felt guilty,
Waiting on many a visit, neurology…
Cataracts & Glaucoma, retest the kidney,
Find out what’s causing the collapsing knee,
Help from Age UK, they promised me…
Someone would call, a wheelchair repairer,
Sort the water heater, so I can shower,
Help with the bank site, logging in,
Same with British Gas, and Virgin,
But I got new hearing aids that don’t fit,
I’m hoping to get some financial benefit,
Attendance allowance, will it pay for taxis?
For the instructed fortnightly visits,
I’ll lose a day each time. I’m so needy,
Solving issues? I’m incapable, pathetically,
Depression? I class myself as a Bezonian,
Living with pain, confusion and humiliation,
Without mental or physical coordination,
I’m linked to floccinaucinihilipilification,
I’m forlorn, forfoughten & feel forsaken…
Good luck to me is geason, within reason,
Frequently, I issue self-imprecation,
The brain will not stop its fermentation,
Even after a seizure, with the inanition…
I’m waffling on again, through frustration?
Moan, groan, grumble; is this self-deception?
To avoid possible self-deletion…
I’ve decided! My only solution…
To get things sorted, in fair condition,
Go into a Care Home, it’s the only solution!
I’ll ask how, with a solid conviction,
That way, I may avoid eviction!
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Inchie Today: Sat-Sun 30-31st May 2026

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Graphicless – Boring – No Photos – Inchie Today
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Saturday
It took me eight tries to open the computer,
and it was bleep-bleeping all day.
More areas are inaccessible for use.
Old photos & graphics are used, as I cannot get access to put new ones on. Is this due to CorelDraw: Blacking out about 22 screen options, and three toolbars are warped. Can’t Import, Export, Save, Save-as,
I can’t access all the work I did on Friday. Can’t use Notepad to open or save to. All the many hours of work, it (244kb) seems to have absconded? unnatainable. Did a desperate search on the whole computer for anything .txt. They found a few old ones on OneDrive.
One-page able ending, had only 112mb (last one has 320mb) on it, then I realised why: it was from 2018!

Midnight, and things got worse, Much Worse.I was already a few notches up in the stakes; it got deeper!
And oh, far more frustrating & more painful than ever.

The Catheter blocked again. I tried the usual gulping down gallons (it felt like it) of water to force whatever the black matter is that causes this horrendous pain, but it didn’t work. (Of course). And I had to call the District Nurses at this time in the morning. (00:15hrs). Including this one, that is now four calls for help I’ve done, averaging one every two weeks. Every one of them on a Saturday or Sunday, the day of rest… Ha! Having been battered about so often with all the tube extractions and insertions (14 failed ones last time, I think, t might have been more). Little Inchies’ Fungal Lesion has now gained the Award as one of of “Inchies Prime Pain Pesteration!” More later. Tonight, I found that sitting down was just too painful, and I felt a little dizzy from the increased severity of the surges. of pain. I decided to stand up the whole time, using two sticks, as I waited of the nurses to arrive.
The innards had few areas that were not painful, the kidneys, the back, and Anne Gyna even joined in when I went to the Porcelain Throne. I sat on the plastic seat, and Little Inchy spouted urine out of his teeny-weeny fungal lesion, and the extra pain kicked off again from the recently mauled-over testicles. But as for whether it was a Trotsky Terence or Constipation Conrad, Trotsky was well out of the running, which was what I’d anticipated the evacuation would be. Nothing but wind and little liquid occasionally. And each time I tried to force the movement along, a new, even lower backache kicked in. I decided to take a risk with one of the powerful tablets. Have to take care with this one; I looked it up on Mr Google last week, he said: Oxycodone is a highly potent opioid painkiller carrying severe risks, including fatal respiratory depression, dependence and Addiction. Accidental overdose. Because it is roughly 1.5 times more potent than oral morphine, it requires strict medical supervision. Conitive & Physical Impairment (Which I already have). It can cause extreme drowsiness, confusion, and dizziness. The UK’s National Health Service (NHS) warns that it can impair your driving ability and warns against operating heavy machinery.
Do not consume alcohol or other sedatives (such as benzodiazepines) while on Oxycodone, as this drastically increases your risk of a fatal overdose. But I took one.
The Doctor’s receptionist warned me about these risks when she phoned me to tell me not to use them unless needed. Fair enough. They are needed, but only for two ailments, if that is the word for the first one? When the Catheter blocks up, and the flowback affects the kidneys, bladder, and lower back, & Little Inchy, the pain is so bad that I have to take them until the Catheter has been changed & refitted. And Little Inchie’s Fungal Lesion is going on the list today; he’s never been more painful. (I’m not surprised, though. Over the last six weeks, I must have had at least 40, if not more, failed reinsertions.)
Little Inchie & his lesion, the worst affected. No wonder the poor little miniature thing hurts so much.
🤔(Little hint for sympathy and help?)🤔Hahaha!
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I wandered off track there, sorry.
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So, there I was in the wet room. The moment I realised only wind was going to escape, I got on my feet to ease the pain a smidgeon. I did, too, but I was getting
visitations, what the heck, I thought, I can cope with pain! This statement just may contain a degree of falsity
As I was leaving the wet room, to my surprise, pleasure, and hope-boosting, I heard the nurses coming in the door. Very quick timing this morning, I’d guess about half an hour after my phoning in. Bless them!
We walked into the room with the bed, and guess what?
The light bulb died! Do I need any more proof of my bad luck? But on Sunday, I had a few more Whoopsies. Well, that goes without saying, really. Haha!
The two nurses had both been before, the lady four weeks ago, and the chap last week. The no-light problem hadn’t fazed them in the slightest; one held the torch on their mobile, while the other, the lady, had her first go at inserting the tube into battered and bruised Little Inchy. It hurt, but not the tube insertion; that was so smooth and painless. It was from Little Inchies fungal lesion.
The Nurse Got The Tube In, On Her First Try!
Fantastic! I asked her if she would put on the Catheter bag with the press release, rather than the butterfly one. “Yes!” Bless her. She even found my torch for me, and she helped me off of the bed before she left. We all bade our farewells, and I had the pleasure of sitting down again. 👍🏻👩🏻‍⚕️🧑🏻‍⚕️
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I made up two bottles of water, got the morning meal cooked, and got down in the c1966, £300 Oxfam charity shop-bought, wincingly grotty, beige-coloured, crumb-covered from my nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, positively unhealthy, and dangerous, no longer operational, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, Catheter-tube-trapping recliner.
I got my feet up on the Carer’s chair and put the TV on, not to watch it, but to lighten the room so I had a chance of seeing what was on my spoon or fork as I ate. I hobbled to the kitchenette to wash the pots, and back into the aged, grotty-looking, c1966-made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, chronically uncomfortable, non-operational, acne-giving, bruise-encouraging, spills-stained, recliner.
I remember settling down, and turning of the TV… and blissfully drifting in a dream. As per, it was things from the past, mostly Gtizeld. At the peak of our mutual man & woman handling, I shot awake – Humph”. But was so back asleep, but no more dreaming. I think I had several nocturnal seizures. Each time I woke, an unpleasant, acidic taste lingered in my mouth, throat, and nose.
I think, well, I must have been doing some shaking about during the seizures, never done that before, but I bruised my arms, right ribs, and both of my knees were actually painful.
I’d not got long left to sleep, and the next time I woke, I was determined to get up…

Late morning SUNDAY wake-up, & get up
I sensed and felt the wet and smell of the urine, which had leaked down my legs, Khagoule, feet, to the floor!
I discovered the Catheter put on had a butterfly closure. I blame this on the physical seizure, along with my Cogniscent Impairment. I must have caught the flimsy, not-asked-for butterfly clasp while in motion during a seizure.
It was something special when I remembered to ask for a push-through Catheter to be fitted. Naturally, I thought it had been. Now I know differently.
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Spent ages cleaning up the mess. Aggravating Little Inchies Fungal Lesion, Dizzy Dennis, Fractured-Knee-Frank, The Kidney-Kid, Lose-Balance-Brigette, & Bad-Back-Brenda.
Then the stomach started to play up, and I was in a bad way when Carer Ejaz arrived.
He was a treasure this morning. Didn’t do body checks, but will on his next call. Made a mug of tea, cornflakes brekkie and reminded me to do my teeth, bless him. A nice lad.
When he was near leaving, I got the feeling that I needed the Porcelain Throne, sure it was going to be a Trotsky Terence event. I got to the toilet and had another wind-only evacuation.
I thought I might take a Senna. Ejaz said no, they are only taken at night if needed. I asked him to call 111 to see if any other type can be used in the morning. But this meant he was so late and behind. I felt a little guilty asking him.
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Ah, the days of old are so missed…
Pleasures, women, always pissed,
A social magnet, never dissed…
But these faded off into the mist,
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Things got worse; that’s incontestible,
Before retirement, made redundant,
Had to work in Security, terrible…
Shot twice, I wasn’t capable…
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Ailments came, life got more acerbated,
Had a mechanical Aorta fitted,
Deaf, bad eyesight, knee gets fractured,
Penal lesions, seizures, stomach ulcered.
Cancer, had to have a Catheter fitted,
Heart failure, a stent that bifurcated,
Enough of this, it’s too complicated!
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Why do I find life so incomprehensible?
Luckily, my depression is not transmittible,
Can be lessened if you’re knowledgeable,
How does one achieve this miracle?
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10 Warfarin, Morphine & Oxycodone,
No one to con you, by email or cellphone,
No need for drink, or methadone…
No pains, frustrations, you’re on your own,
No need for you to moan and groan,
But where will you find your soul thrown?
GodZone, DevilZone or GoogleZone?
Of course, all this tosh, I just propone,
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