– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Ponder the nature of the beast, at its best.
Disposition, personality, temperament, avidest…
It’s bodgiest, boggiest, boldest, bolshiest,
Briefest, brightest, briskest, bristliest,
Crookedest, crossest, crudest, cruellest,
Care needed to identify its cunningest,
You’ll be obliged to despise and detest,
Identify his traits, lies and falseness,
Gracelessness, gimmickiest, at his glibbest,
At his dishonestest, sneakiest, & sleeziest,
Danger in this concealed recreantest,
Dangerous at his dorkiest, this dweebiest! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – A bit darker.
Oddly blue morning sky.
The calendar clock changed.
Worth mentioning (just about); 1. Blood-Test Appointment arrived on Monday. 2. A Community Nurse visited and put on new plaster for Lymphoedema Leslie on the leg. Said she would be back on Monday or Tuesday to check it. 3: Ten minutes later, the plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg fell off. 4: Carer Mirza, put another plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg for me. 5: Ten minutes later, the plaster on Lymphoedema Leslie’s leg fell of again. 6: I got the old plaster back on and wound tape over the top of it. 7: Carer Ejaz did a body check, and ointmentated the wound on my left hand. 8: Text message from the Red Cross, a technician will be calling next Tuesday. I think it will be about the wheelchair? Just guessing here. 9. Email referring to the neurology surgery clinic: they will be sending an assessment logistics form to be filled in and returned, and confirming the November appointment at the Neurologic Clinic, 1st floor, Leengate Clinic. They recommend bringing a Carer along with me. 10. Email from the Dentist, with the usual threats of financial loss and charges if I fail to attend next Thursday’s appointment, or am late arriving. They also suggested I bring a Carer with me. 11. I found I had run out of money. I need to speak with Carer Ejaz to see if I can stop by an ATM on the way to the dentist. This means we won’t have time to do the laundry, cleaning, or financial checks. I anticipate getting into a mess next week with no clean clothing, and even filthier flat to live in, and a call from the bank manager. 12. Aha! A good one! Carer Mizra has got the ringtones on the new phone to change! Much louder. I can hear when anyone calls, now!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I’m not sure of the theme of this Ode,
My brain took off on the highroad,
I’d got harrowed and I heehawed,
I’ve more facts I’d like to Herald…
My memory, that once glowed, is now gnawed,
But my brain is Doreen Dementia-Dominated,
I feared her when she first bestrode…
Into my skull, with Memory-Mangling-Malcolm, behold!
I don’t pass wind, I sort of noisily displode,
I live with Doreen… Ah, yes, she’s this Odes epode!
This, and my ailments, I spent years enwallowed,
Her qualities I studied and furbellowed,
But my struggles multiplied by a myriad,
So I wrote this little palinode,
I hope you are not too pshawed? – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
THIS DAY OF OUR LORD
I just had to show you the Mood results… Much improved on yesterday.
Of course, there’s time for things
to go apeshit yet, I suppose. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Going for a record here, to get this caught up with in record time. Probably the longest! Haha!
First chicken view.
That should be the kitchen view.
Health Checks Done
Blood oxygen was low.
I was up late this morning again, without realising how late it was, I poddled to get the Done. Only got as far as sitting on the Porcelain Throne, nothing evacuated again!
This is the fifth ‘No-Go’ sitting in three days! And two more failed efforts later on! Hope something moves soon!
Carer Ejaz arrived. He took a snapshot of my legs and issued the medications. He performed a body check and judged the urine colour for me. We swapped farewells as he departed.
Back in the wetroon. All five teeth left were cleaned. Cut my gums. I shaved (one cut), medicated my ailments, & off to make a brew. Got the cheesy rolls out of the refrigerator.
Second kitchen photo.
Checked the fridge, the
Silesian sausages were in date.
Third kitchen window shot.
Computer on. Catching up on yesterday’s blog took me three hours, plus I got carried away writing a second Ode. Hehehe!
More hours sorting, loading, saving and eventually filing photos in CorelDraw.
Another brew made,
Carer Mizra was in a rush, bless him.
I’m blogging more, but I’m not getting on very well.
Went to make up another water bottle, and put it in the fridge so it’d be cooled later.
The bread rolls I photographed had been in the direct sunlight. They will be edible now.
Two more bottles of water were made up.
I’m peeing well through the catheter!
Wish I could pass from the rear end!
SUNDOWN SERIES
Nice!
Time to do the WP Reading and comments.
Late now, tired out, and it feels like Anne Gyna is going to accompany me with the meal and sleep. She doesn’t half pick her times!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – A new medication, called Ziprasidone,
Increased moments of feeling woebegone,
Still, I had a bad start… being born,
I get reckless, careless, and wanton,
As Deep-Dark-Depression-Darius comes on,
High-Mood-Horis cheers, but never stays long,
When he’s with me, I often sing a song!
I’m now far less bucktoothed…
Nine teeth left, so many have rotted, Starmer’s downfall needs to be plotted,
His sneering attitude is as I expected…
Surely his dishonesty & lies were suspected?
He was, after all, a barrister…
Making him the cleverest liar,
Don’t expect anything from Starmer,
The Labour Party’s principal annihilator,
Keeps saying his Father was a toolmaker,
Inspiring cartoonists & every joke-maker!
A bad night again; again, shooting awake repeatedly. After a few hours of this, I nodded off again and slept late, for me, anyway, 07:00hrs.
Took off the night bag and made my way to the Porcelain Throne. Huh! Reversal in evacuation style from yesterday. Troskty Terence was back in the lead. No doubt to be closely followed by Constipation Konrad in this afternoon’s visit, or on Saturday morning’s session. That will be interesting. Hahaha!
Carer Ejaz arrived and checked the legs and body; medications were then issued. He was soon gone, off to get the bus.
A lightning-fast wash; why, I nearly got wet. Hehe!
My sense of humour seems to be making a comeback as I type this? (17:10hrs!)
I took a snap of the new day catheter pouch on my leg. I’ve kept it clean. Well, the muslin bag needed a bit of a jiggle to make it comfortable… but that’s my fault. I weakened, responded to the itching on the top strap, with some stern scratching of it. That’s not in the picture, in case any haemophobes see it. Hehe! I noticed that the legs and feet looked a little red this morning. It’s possible that I set the camera to the wrong setting. (I found that I had, later)
I was concentrating on blogging when a mini-seizure struck, leaving me unable to continue for about an hour. Getting regular now! Must tell the Doctor.
The moment I realised it was a food delivery driver over the intercom, I fell into a deep depression. Why? I’ll tell yer all about my second gig shopping cock-up of the week! This one was expected next week, as well as Tuesdays that were expected next Thursday. At least I think that’s right. I was boiling mad at myself! Swore, sulked, cursed a bit more, and considered popping on the balcony and opening a window… Never-mind.
This has brought me to such a low point; I must seek some form of help. I’ll inform the Doctor and the Neurosurgeon at the hospital at our November appointment. How I prayed that would visit. But he didn’t. Not until nearly midnight anyway. That was not good timing; his arrival was grand for a few seconds, then the self-hate routine, caused by my stupid mistake, kicked in, and he departed. Sleep was unattainable, but I’m going out of sync again. Why am I not in the least surprised?
Crikey, look at all the bags! I literally had to throw some away to make room for the new food that was incoming. Cheesy Topped cobs again! No room in the freezer! Emptying a carrier with more crisps and biscuits in it, I found this article, which, for an unknown reason, I thought I was buying toilet cleaner stickers. Obviously, judging by the ingredients, which were too small to read (I put the name in Google to find them), they were children’s sweets!
I can’t take much more, I’m losing it big time.
Bottles due…
They were left outside the door.
I meant to put Horis’ rating as 0.05%
My feet were a bit red again. It doesn’t show in the photograph, but the contents of the catheter bag seemed to glow with a luminescent light.
0825hrs: I was just about to serve the meal when Carer Ejaz arrived. I popped it back in the still-warm oven, and Ejaz dished out the medications.
After he’d gone, I served up and started eating the meal, while watching a recorded Heartbeat episode.
¾ of the way through the meal, I realised I’d not photographed it. So, I did. And I soon demolished the remaining fodder in the dish. Very tasty, I think that showed his appreciation. Because he came over to me for at least five minutes of joy, or his percentage attendance for the day would look even worse. Today was so depressing overall. and made the day a misery. I bet you find endless errors in this blog. At one stage, my typing errors outnumbered those I got right. Grammarly was working overtime today. However, made it so difficult for me to make the right choices amongst the options it offered. My awareness and grasp of logicality were all to cock!
Really, my worst day for months, and the day went so slowly as well. It often felt like mental torture. I appreciate that this sounds strange, but at least I made it through it. If I have another day like today… Well, let’s hope I don’t.
Typing this on Saturday morning, things, words, are still vague to ascertain. Mistakes galore… But not as bad as yesterday. But not right, not like it usually is… I’m waffling again, Tsk! Sometimes I accept being glaikit, well, the label does fit? Fit? Are seizures linked to this?
= = = = = = = = = = = = BONUS ODE
This morning, I feel a little less confusion,
I’m almost capable of cerebration!
Here’s to a better day for memory retention,
And the absence of Darius’ Deep Depression,
A riddance to Conrad Constipation,
My next passing is not like tungsten,
Hopes for a better concentration,
I’ve already paid for my cremation…
I’m ready now for my transubstantiation,
Mind & body gone through trucidation,
Waiting for surgery, a trephination,
But without any signs of trepidation…
This Ode takes a deflection,
Worried about the state of the Nation,
Starmer and his demagoguism,
His lies and his indoctrination,
His Labour principles’ evisceration,
His hostage is a sausage interpretation.
Birthed from a toolmaker’s insemination,
No condemnation… just a little imprecation, I’m working on brewing up a new execration…
To stifle the evil of the leader of our Nation!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I realise that I have become impercipient, Thick-as-a-plank, a dangerous self-hindrance, Ignored by others, close by or adjacent, My plans were loose, but not appercipient, Details, dates, and motives were not apparent, I exist in my own created neurotic ambience, From reality, I often search for & need, abscondence, Help needed with basics, finance & correspondence, I suffer seizures & Anne Gyna, in accrescence… A world of worry, fear, with yblents, My mind powers itself, all volitient, As with so many a suffering dement, Depression often has me feeling verklempt, The brain out of reach, often volitant, Now, the cost of food, electricity and rent… I once nearly bought a Trabant, But opted for a Robin Reliant, I’m alive due to medications & unguent, The odd tumble can be called violent, I’m tired out by noon, my energy spent I love Kung Po sauce, any tracklement, Failures and incapabilities make me trepidant, When I meet the Heavenly symposiarch… I hope to meet Starmer, the UK’s autarch… He’ll learn my bite is worse than my bark!
A DETAIL SHORT JOB TODAY. There are things I want to say, but it will cause me more delay. What I can say, I will say another day. Maybe Sunday. The mystery ferments & teasers! Actually, there is no mystery. Sorry! Hehehe! It’s just that I have to try to catch up on blogging; I’m getting further and further behind. Up at 06:00hrs. With a sensation of foreboding. An unwarranted, annoying sense… almost an anticipation of something coming, something in the air. Closing in nearer and nearer. It’s not here yet, but it will come. On the other hand, I may just be losing it again. Better get started, it’s gone 19:30 already.
Night pouch off and emptied.
Took this kitchen shot on my way to utilise the Porcelain Throne. Curious if it will be /constipation Conrad or Trosky Terrence in charge.
Carer Ejaz made a quick visit, medications sorted. He was in a rush, bless him. His bus was late.
I hope this is readable: Mind Mangling Malcolm had been active all day today. Following Thursday’s Morrison delivery, which arrived this Thursday, today. Yes, my arithmaphobia is winning the numbers battle! Got even more peas in now! And two orange cream balls, which I put in the fridge. Naughty beer-battered chips! Hurrah! Silesian Sausages and Polish Country Sausages. Some smoked pork loin, too.
I went into a world of my own for a couple of hours. I can’t remember any seizure coming on, but a vagueness, when I returned, was nothing compared to how I usually feel, confused, and a loss of balance. So much milder all around.
Carer Mirza came and had a look at the new mobile to see if he could find a way to make it louder or change the call tones. Nope. He’ll try again later in the week for me.
Then, as he left, I went into a proper hasty seizure. I felt it coming on. I think it lasted for just a couple of minutes. However, getting over it left me incapable of doing anything on the computer for another two hours. I must mention this one to the Doctor. I was hazy and strongly confused. I thought I’d fetch another bottle of spring water, and the catheter needed emptying. It felt like I was standing still as I got up, and the blurry surroundings went all psychedelic, turning and twisting, seeming to affect my vision as well. As if I’d suddenly acquired uncontrollable zooming in and out facilities. A fog, just like Glaucoma Gladys, goes when I catch sunlight in my eyes. But the curtains were closed… this was not good.
I put the TV on, on the third try, to take my mind off how I was feeling. Within minutes, the fog, haze, loss of balance, & dizziness started to clear. I don’t want to go through that again. I’d already lost a total of two hours through this new style seizure. Or rather, the coming out of it. Lately, they never seem the same after seizures.
Care Mizra, noticed my right leg has swollen, and the left one has shrunk. He ointmented the right leg. But overall, the Lymphorrhoea in my legs & feet had got a lot better than yesterday’s flare-up.
Early evening view.
I turned away from the window and cast a shadow on the kitchen floor. I liked the ghostly appearance it produced and took a snap of it. A self-taken 3D photo? Haha!
I investigated what to have for my meal after Ejaz made the last call. He’ll change the catheter day bag in the morning.
I caught the beautiful late sunset Then did a zoomed-in snap. Seconds after taking this, it had disappeared. So glad I caught it. Mother Nature at her finest!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – PART TWO
The Differences twixt farcicalities, & eccentricities,
Can be minimal, as with decorations and baubles
Yet obvious with pastilles and bastilles,
Plainer, with the oligarchs and proletariats,
Crowds in England, in Scotland, clamjamfrys,
I don’t know what I’m doing some days! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
05:30hrs: Took the nightpouch off, went into the kitchenette, and put the kettle on. Then, the rumbling innards began. So, off to the wet room and Porcelain Throne. Trotsky Terence played no part in the evacuation this morning. Come to think of it, Constipation Conrad didn’t either. Rock-solid! I played with the crossword puzzle for ages, but I had the same amount of luck as Trotsky did. Zilch!
07:15hrs, Carer Ejaz arrived, full of the joys of Spring. He issued the prescription Medications and reminded me to take the B12 vitamins, as my blood levels are low in them. I took some potatoes out to slow-cook in the crockpot for later. Sliced some red onion & added that.
Started on the blog catch-up, and an hour or so later, the JS delivery arrived. The driver to the bags through to the kitchen for me. Canned Irish Stew is currently cheaper than at Iceland, Asda, and Aldi. So, I bought a few cans and plan on adding some extra potatoes and Gungo Peas sauce. I use the Milk Roll loaf to soak up the juices. I’m getting carried away again! Flavoured Spring Water, fresh garden peas (They’ll go in the Irish stew as well). Cakes, crisps, biscuits, bicarbonate of soda. Got the pod peas into the cooler. No butter-butter, Iced Coffees for visitors & nurses, sliced red onions, sliced mushrooms, cheese spread, & some laundry & washing items; washing up liquid, bleach, laundry softener/freshener. The canned food cupboard was soon filled up! The bikkies and cake cupboard were utilised. 10p less than the Iceland ones at 90p each for 6! I admit they are not nice!
The Maryland vegan cookies were available for purchase. I didn’t need them, but they were 35p cheaper than Iceland, 25p cheaper than Asda, and 40p cheaper than Ocado.
Carer Jyoti called and said no medications were required. She tried to find a way to change to a louder ringtone but had no luck.
Back on the blogging, and J called, with some washing, bless her. She smelled the potatoes that I’d put in the crockpot… six hours ago, but had accidentally put them on the highest setting. My first real cock-up of the day. Joe took them out and told me to dry them off before they crumble. Well, two-thirds did just that as I tried to dry them. I salvaged seven little spuds and ate them straight away. Put some fresh ones on for tonight’s planned meal. I believe that despite the mental and neurological problems in my later years, I have gleaned a new quality. Oh, yes! I’m not sure which name to give it; perhaps you can advise on the three I thought of or suggest a better one. Do you have any suggestions, please?(funnier) Cock-it-up-itis, Iris? Misconstrue, Miscalculate, Mistakemaker, Mavis? Ever in the Ether, Ethel? Hehe!
I made next week’s food order from Ocado. They seem to have more options and choices in the Silesian-type and hot dog sausages.
I shelled some garden peas and added the remaining potatoes to accompany the Irish Stew and Gung-Po sauce meal later on.
Then, as I was waiting for CorelDRAW to save the file…
I was in the exact position I was in when I felt myself going. I knew, quite wrongly, that it had been a mini-seizure of maybe a minute or two. Boy, was I wrong! I checked the file saved at the time on CorelDRAW. Over four hours ago! And coming out of it was like… the confusion was so deep. It took me ages to realise how long it had been, and when I stood up , as all but had me over. Five minutes later, I felt much better… , I was lucky to be where I was when I went over, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, eyesore-horrendously grungy, disease-fermenting second-hand, beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner. Also, I was with it enough to throw myself at it on my way down. Certainly saved me from serious injury.
Back on the blog!
Carer Mizra did the teatime call. Medications.
I was feeling weary, early again, and foggy-minded from, I assume, the seizure.
Not much of the Irish Stew to be seen, I podded a whole packet of garden peas, after shelling them, of course. Hehe!Tasted nice, though!
My estimate of the mood split today. , Again, there were no in-betweens; just the two extremes, no moments of normalcy. Nothing new here, then. Hahaha!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – TO HIS SERIES OF DREAMS LAST NIGHT I hiked there in my warped realisation.
The result of a moment’s aberration,
Off for an afternoon spent riparian,
I enjoyed this on Bristol’s River Avon,
Ah, the peace, no altercation…
I saw my first coprophagan…
Missing the cow turds, with attention,
No visits from Agathodaemon…
I felt totally free of depression,
A gentle breeze, the sun my guerdon,
On the river, flotsam & hymenopteran,
So peaceful, no thoughts bacchanalian,
My mind wandered off on its own volition…
Viewing the world without condemnation,
I fell asleep, & found perfection…
Suddenly, no hatred, wars, crimes or derision!
Harmony, with Angels, each a protecting guardian,
All around me, people dressed Edwardian,
Azaleas, looking up at me, showing their apotropaism,
No scent of fear, or need of apogeotropism,
Then, I feared for this imaginary kingdom,
Knowing what lies ahead, I had the wisdom…
A man filling his pipe, his girlfriend paying attention,
Would she lose him in a war, perhaps the Crimean? Senghenydd explosion, 439 men died while mining,
I woke up to find I had a problem,
A water-filled, leaking Wellington! Maybe a seizure, I thought, after an interregnum,
This was all beyond my comprehension,
Yet the day felt real, in fact, so idyllian,
I even managed a little self-irrision,
I felt joyful, blithe, with exhilaration…
But riddled with suspicion…
Was today all but an illusion?
I’ll have to give this some consideration!
I certainly felt a strange abnormalisation…
I got there & back without transportation?
I searched but found no medication,
Ah… I’m at a different location!
Brookfield Place, under Arkwright St station,
All gone now, not in my memory & imagination,
It smells the same, soot & smoke from the train station,
The rag & bone man, horse & cart creating a ruction,
We try to get an increase in price, but get a reduction,
I saw myself poor & undesirable, a bezonian…
This dream is like a circumbilivagination,
The stable, the wood yard, folks in contradiction, What I see may well be a conceptualisation… But to me, it was a reassuring actualisation, The smell of boiling bones for the gruel,
Not that I ever thought this was cruel,
Survival meant we had to be adaptable,
Cow heel, rabbit; if one were catchable,
Mother found cigarettes to be ascertainable,
Usually scrounged, stolen or pocketable,
As a small lad, others found me punchable,
Despite this, I remained compliable,
Although the neighbourhood was a little tribal,
Everyone had a go at me, it seemed logical,
I thought this was to be expected and normal,
I’ve always been easy to clobber & bumfuzzle,
Never knew why, but Mother called me her barnacle,
They pulled the old Meadows down… terrible!
It’d be a treasure to anyone archaeological! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – 0535hrs: I think I woke just after having a seizure of some kind or other. Because I was so confused and wobbly on my feet when I dismounted the bed to sort out the nocturnal catheter. I felt the need for the Porcelain Throne brewing up in my innards.
Dizzy Dennis joined in the sensations as I slowly hobbled, with a degree of balancing difficulty, to the Porcelain Throne. It proved to be a messy and extremely long affair. The time spent cleaning up the limbs, bottom, and porcelain was worse because I kept getting dizzy each time I bent down. Another mystery from Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Deep, Dank Depressing Darius, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Glaucoma Gladys, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhoea Leslie, Premordid Cognitive Impairment Inchie, or the Fata Morgana, hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, Whoopsiedangleplops that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind. My faith, sanity, and logicality were already on the wane.
But as I hobbled back to the kitchen, I realised it was as if someone had corrected my balance, and the Dizzy Dennis had gone off into the ether?
As I thought about this gift, with her stabbing pains started in the neck this time. And spent three hours touring around my torso. Under the left arm, right chest, centre chest, back to the neck, almost up to the chin, right chest… etc. When she suddenly stopped, I wasn’t surprised; she must have worn herself out. Hehehe!
I poddled out onto the balcony to take a couple of shots of the view in the rain, through the windows, of course. I had to take a shot from the end of the balcony as the innards were gurgling and rumbling again. Once again, was in control. At least it wasn’t as messy as the first. But it was extremely gooey! Smelly-Phoo, too!
Back to the balcony to take a window end shot. Although I am not very often pleased or confident about anything I do nowadays, this one I was happy with. . Hehe!
Carer Ejaz rang the intercom. I fumbled my way to the box, pressed ‘receive,’ and the panel showed Ejaz on his phone. I then pressed the release button on the door. The intercom chimes started again, and the inner lobby door had not opened! I tried again, but no success. (No success? Could that go on my plaque at the crematorium? – Or, as someone suggested last year, would this be better: “He came, He failed, He Went?” Got carried away again there. Sorry. So, I’d got my dressing gown on from when I went out onto the balcony to take the fantastic, wonderful, magnificent photo above left. Haha! So I went down to admit Ejaz. How long will this visit last? I’m absolutely loving this mood! 👍🏾
Ejaz was wet from the rain, poor lad. He got the prescription medications sorted for me and reminded me to take the B12 supplement. No Peptac or Cetraben is needed. As Anne Gyna was on a break, the legs, ankles, and feet that had been fed to bursting point over the last three weeks are looking great, super-duper! Yee-Haa!
I made a determined effort to complete yesterday’s blog. Although, was, for some reason going blurring my sight, almost as bad as she does when I look at the sunshine.
A couple of hours later, the intercom rang again. It was the Iceland order arriving. I tried to tell him the door might not work and that I’d be down to open the lobby door manually for him. I’m not sure if he heard me, as the screen dies within a few seconds. So, I got dressed again, and as I was leaving to go down, the driver arrived. He put them in the kitchenette for me.
The first thing I noticed was the big bag of toilet paper. They were a bit more expensive than my usual ones, but it was the sale price, and it stated they were triple-ply. So, with getting frisky with me, I thought it best. What a Mistaka to Maker! 👎🏼Just look at the size of this sheet that I photographed! Pathetic!
I swear that it will take a third of a roll to wipe my bottie after a evacuation! As I photographed a selection to go into the fridge, I noticed that Iceland Foods had done it again. 👎🏼The steak slice had a must-be-used-by date of Today!
👎🏼And, disappointment number three from Iceland Foods, the baby potatoes. I had to throw away six of them. (see the photo on the right). They were either split or had black spots near the surface; some had both! 👎🏼When I opened a pack of the shortcake biscuits, they had been ready-pre-crushed for me. The company’s new slogan is Google tells me:
👎🏼“That’s why we go to Iceland” Huh!👎🏼 Free delivery, though, as long as you spend £40.
No mention of the fee for picking, packing and carrier bags. But one has to be fair. Asda often pre-crushes your bread to make it easier to digest; their dates are dodgy, too.
Even J Sainsbury sent Royal Farms Grown Anya potatoes last week with black spots, and they were to be used by the same day as the delivery. And cheesy cobs. But with Trump, Putin, Xi Jinping, and Sparkling Toolmaker’s Son Starmer doing their best to prompt World War Three, does this really matter enough to bother about? Maybe not!
A Little Quiz: There was an item in one of the photos that Carer Mizra pointed out had ingredients. Here they are; see if you can find out which product it was from them. Ingredients: Beef (1800P08 per 1g) of beef xxxxxxx. Seasoning: dextrose, caster sugar, salt, onion powder, yeast extract, tomato powder, garlic powder, smoked paprika, caramelised sugar. Natural flavouring: Citric acid, smoked maltodextrin, oregano, liquorice powder, paprika extract, salt, vinegar, potassium sorbate. The seven X’s replace the name of the product. The first comment winner will receive a Certificate Of Merit on the blog.
Carer Mizra arrived, also rather damp-looking.
He took a minute or two to examine the new mobile, trying to figure out how to change the ringtone and make it louder. No luck, but he tried. Thanks, Mizra. Ejaz tried without any luck the other day. I don’t think the option is on the phone at all. They both comprehend the workings of new phones. I think this one has no choice.
I persevered with this blog. And I got some of the photos uploaded and into the WordPress gallery… this is when, to the best of my knowledge, the first seizure occurred. This was a decent, lengthy one, nothing like the five-hour one I had earlier in the week, but again, I was all over the place mentally and physically when I emerged from it. It was replaced by confusion .
I found that while in the seizure, I’d been working on the blog. I made a right mess of it, which took me ages to get right again.
It took me half an hour of just sitting here feeling sorry for myself, especially after the longest-ever unbroken visit from .
All the effects were lessening when Carer Mizra returned. During the time he was here, clarity returned, along with something that amazed me, but it was back in my head again. No rhyme or reason. Nothing had changed, apart from Carer Mizra calling and the head and dizzying clearing. Yet, I’m in a Sod-Them all mode again. Unbothered, unworried? How I wish I could summon Horis up when I need him! 🤸🏻♀️
Back on the balcony.
The rain had stopped. I got a decent shot of the famous end of the car park’s mudflow.
Then, the amazingly dull but still gorgeous sky. Then I’m afraid that things have changed slightly for the worse!
A dual attack coordinated by and hit me; this was not good.
The last Carer call was with Mizra. When he was here, joined in. Mizra had never seen (or heard) Roger in action before.
He seemed genuinely worried, asking if he should call an ambulance. No sooner had he gone than the rain came again. I took a snapshot of it from the closed kitchen window.
Back to the blogging. Thinking and praying for the return of . No luck!
I continued with this lengthy blog. Suddenly, I realised it was 05:00hrs! No wonder I was feeling done in. I had no energy for food preparation, so I saved the things and closed the computer.
It took all the energy I had left just to climb into bed. For the first time ever, I ignored the panic-thoughts of Did I lock the door. Are the taps turned off, etc? I was not feeling too well and was too tired to be bothered. Well, that was a first! Luckily, nothing was found amiss in the morning.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
But what is it that they actually be?
I’ve a feeling these are linked to me,
Mayhap my frequent aggrieves?
Or the quinquennial that always amazes?
My failed helpers & appeasers?
Failures that come in abundance?
Or, my non-existent audience?
My collection of male pink brassieres?
Or when I drank brandy & beers?
Wore a balaclava and short trousers?
Or are politicians now tyrannisers?
My strange addiction to typefaces?
My being the best of the underachievers?
My belief is that there’s more than one universe.
I’m still using inches, pounds & ounces?
I’m running out of money and common sense…
I need and seek a mental carapace,
Physically, Duodenal Donald, Colin Cramps…
Anne Gyna, FND, PN and seizures,
I’ll give up if I get any more strokes,
Sometimes I feel as if I’m a scapegrace,
In so many ways, I’m a disgrace,
Life seems full of failures, mishaps & shivas,
And as for the dying neurotransmitters…
They guarantee me shakes & quivers,
Dropsies, neck-jerks, twitching and quaives!
Shuddering Shoulder Shirley, Colin Cramps…
Pete with his Peripheral Neuropathy…
Roger Reflux, Lymphorrhoea Leslie…
Dark Deep Depression Duncan, Eczema & Acne,
Gladys Glaucoma, Arthur Itis in each knee,
Cartilages, too, that give way on me,
Seizures that leave me confused and hazy…
Myoclonic, Absence, Stuttering Stephany…
Premordid Cognitive Impairment Inchie,
Dodgy Virgin computer & their TV,
I suppose one could call me semi-unlucky?
Bearing in mind I’ve just spilt my tea,
I’d reply, absobloodylutely!
Add the world’s continuing bellicosity,
I’ll soon be reaching eighty…
Is there time for me to act irresponsibly?
Be slap-happy, live more cheerfully?
Septically, hygienically & less sceptically?
Sod-them-allish, go all criminogenically?
Full of vim, reckless, brash, audaciously?
Live life like it was planned to be?
Oh, the catheter bag needs to be emptied of pee!
That’s enough of my written chicanery.
And I thought yesterday was busy! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’ll try not to miss anything, but it was a heck of a hectic Friday. Still, it kept me busy. Got miles behind with the blogs. I may be making unintentional chronological mistakes, given the long time that has passed between events and my recording them on the blog. I blame…
04:20hrs (Most of this is according to the hard-to-read scribbled notes on the notepad) I got the nocturnal catheter pouch emptied and had to dash… well, hobble-quickish to the wet room and . It was a close call this morning; the instant I bent down, before any contact was made between my bottom and the raised-up WC lid, the torrent shot out! Seconds later, when the contact took place, the evacuation was over, done and dusted! Then I had to clean up the splatterings from my body and the Porcelain furniture. During this, I knocked over various medical stuff from the floor cabinet. By the time the bending was finished, I , and in doing so, had joined in.
I made a double-teabag brew. A Thompson’s Irish Breakfast and a Co-op 99.
Turned on the computer, and with praiseworthy but foolishly, I hoped to catch up on blogging. (This didn’t happen)
This second visit, which didn’t feel as urgent as the first one, fooled me. It’s an easy thing to do nowadays.
In contrast to the brief first job. It was mushy, but kept coming in surges. I even got out the crossword book and gave it a try. (No, I didn’t get any of the three outstanding clues solved) But there was less cleaning up to do. It only took me a couple of minutes, and I didn’t knock anything over. However, the session must have taken me 20 minutes before the in-control had finished. I wouldn’t have minded if I could have solved some clues!
I took this shot of the not-so-pleasant morning from the kitchenette window. First morning without sunshine at daybreak for a few days now. Then, dang me, the sun broke through, coming up from behind the building. I caught the Nottingham City Hospital in the next shot.
As I started the lengthy Odeing session, Carer Ejaz arrived. He issued the medications; the body was not checked today. I told and showed Ejaz how the feet, ankles, and legs looked much better. And for once, my looked fine. We used the Cetraben cream instead of the Barrier cream yesterday. It seemed to work better.
I checked on Google to find the cheapest Cetreben online. After an hour, I decided to try to sign up with Chemist4U, an online pharmacy, and place an order for Cetraben, Medical Olive Oil, and Co-Codemols. I got registered after making the order. However, they continued to refuse me and confuse me. First name needed. ‘Go to ‘billing’ and amend. Could I find the Billing Section? No!
I gave up and cancelled the order, sending them details of my problem. No answer was received. This cost me about two hours, farting about getting nowhere. I tried again from scratch. Another hour passed, and I gave up. Then, a code was sent to me via email to enter their order. But there was nothing in the email box to copy! Anyway, I cancelled the order… You can see why losing Carer Joe has caused me problems. I’m sure he would have picked up whatever it was that I did wrong, a Whoopsiedangle plop of some sort, I expect.
Then, an hour later, I received a robot message from C4U, which didn’t make sense to me. I just answered, saying I couldn’t get the order passed and I have given up on it. Getting wound up now! Inevitably, and both kicked off. So, getting any of the blogs done was not easy. Then , a three-hour-long on-and-off attack started. It’s not the attacks; it’s the coming out of them that gets to me. Also, I’m not getting any warnings before they come nowadays. Baffling.
Then the new old people’s mobile was delivered. Carer Manpreet could not help me set it up; she did not have the time, as she was on the afternoon’s short safety check. Told me to ask Carer Ejaz later or the next day. I sneaked an extra codeine and took many gulps of Peptac to ease the physical pains. But the mental ones were worse, and nothing could ease the anguish and frustration I was in. Absolutely (as far as I recall), amazingly, my frustrations were so high that for once, that Couldn’t get a look in! I was just fixated on coping with the aftermath of the mini-seizures and angry that nothing was going right! As it stands, Carer Joe is gone, so there’s no help. Although I’m hoping Carer Ejaz can assist with the mobile.
I was trying to get back to the blogging, and the Dettol was delivered. Back to the computer, and… Then , I should have said, the lovely retired District Nurse arrived, took a look at, and confirmed that my right leg and ankle were now cleared for use. She did say there was some crinkled skin and to be careful not to catch or bang it. And she will call next week to assess the feet. Her bit of caring made a world of difference to me. 🤎🌺 I’d still go nowhere with the blogging; tomorrow looks like a losing, no-chance-of-catch-up-on-the-blogs day.
The landline burst forth its trill sounds. As I reached for it, a no-warning mini-seizure gripped me. I didn’t know who it was until I came around, and they were talking fifteen to the dozen. I’d not got the foggiest of what or who it was for a minute or so. As I regained some of my composure, I explained to the caller why I was not responsive. Of all the callers, it could have been the bank, Matron Julie, no, no Matron Jackie, the police, British Damned Gas, the Doctor, a debt collector, Sister Jane, Warden Julie, Jenny, it was from the Neurosurgeons at the QMC. This was brilliant! For the lady had rang to inquire about the seizure’s nature. Now she knew! She had obviously got a list of questions and went through them all. She was gathering as much detail as possible before the procedure in November to determine the best course of action. She is going to make me an earlier appointment, for September or thereabouts, to see the surgeon and decide what can or needs to be done. She said it’s critical to gain as much knowledge beforehand. Possibly a trephination hole to assess the brain’s neurotransmitter fluids first. I thought that was what they told me weeks ago? Of course, there is a slight possibility that I may have, or might have, got this wrong. Did I forget or have a seizure when on the phone last time? Tsk & Humph!
After 90 minutes on the landline, I vaguely recall trying to log back on to this blog again.
The mobile then rang! Gotten Himmel!
Shirley phoned to let me know that the £35-a-bash toenail cutter, Sarah, was on her way up. I think the names are correct. I got the money ready to pay her. Humph!
Carer Manpreet arrived and issued the medications. Can’t recall much else. Maybe I was coming back from a seizure?
No further updates will be made to the blog. I’ll do my best to complete it on Saturday. As for finding time to start Saturdays off, the chances are maybe 100 to 1. I’ll fall even further behind, so I’ll have to catch up on Sunday’s undone work on Monday, which will put me far behind schedule with blogging. But am I bothered? Yes!
Then, I got an email welcoming me to C4U? Offering email updates of special offers, etc. So, I foolishy made another order. This time, I had to fill in endless detail sheets for most items. I received another email stating that they are processing my order, and it typically takes 4 days to complete. No bother about that. Just pleased I’d got some more medicinal olive oil for the ears and Co-Codamol as a standby painkiller. The footspray, too.
I made a stew, added some red onion, liquid smoke, Gung Po sauce and garden extra green and black peas. Place it in a microwave-safe dish, ready to add some potatoes after it’s cooked. I was doing well today despite the horrendous nature of the proceedings.
Oh, this is the state of the box that carried the new mobile phone to me. It was delivered by Amazon. Still, the phone doesn’t look as if it’s been damaged at all. Carer Ejaz gave it a quick lookover. No time to set it up; he said he’ll try over the weekend to see why there are no ringtones or change options. He called the phone, but I could hardly hear it four feet away from me when it rang!
I went to turn off the computer, not that I’d managed to do much on it anyway. I had a quick check on Gmail… Arrgh! An email from C4U advised me that my order had been cancelled! I didn’t cry! Well, maybe inside, I did. Rather, I felt pissed off, annoyed, swore and cursed a lot, and now, depression showed its ugly head. It was as if my whole body reacted. nearly had me off the chair! Followed seconds later, an outburst of stabbing pains from , who had calmed down earlier. Another minute, and tested my pain tolerance by hitting me in the left foot and left hand at the same time! Believe this or not, I’d just scribbled these happenings on the memory notepad; in fact, I’d written them all and felt a seizure coming on for the first time in days. I knew it would be a short one; the long ones give no warning. So, I stayed seated and drifted off into the ether. This bit of the blog gets better… Huh!
When I came out of it, I was facing in a different direction, still seated in the same chair. Seeing the wall clock that fell off yesterday, which I hadn’t retrieved… I thought to myself, “Christ almighty! I’ve been away for five hours!” I soon realised what had happened. The battery had fallen out of the wall clock, and it showed the wrong time. I’ve had enough today!
I think it was more like two minutes.
The computer work was saved, then shut down unceremoniously. By an ultra-fed-up Inchy!
No more seizures. and both eased off… but were replaced with an angry for the rest of the night and well into the morning! Much Peptac taken.
Now I was feeling down, despite seeing the humour in my feeling that I’d been out of it for five hours. Hehe!
I wearily got the meal prepped and served up. I even enjoyed it. But with so many Accifaupas Whoopsiedangleplops, errors and mistakes, it was inevitable that they kept coming to mind.
Carer Ejaz did the late check call. He’ll look at the mobile for me tomorrow. Bless him.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – AS I TYPED INSTANT MEMORIES… Starting with Nelson Cigarettes, I stopped smoking when they went up to 3/6!
Packs of ten, up to 1/9d, I went to the chemist,
To get something, to stem my baccy addiction,
Lozenges & tablets cost me a fortune!
I’d run out of them by later that afternoon,
Polo mints were cheaper, so I bought a carton,
A week later, off to the dentist in Carlton,
I still needed to stop my baccie attraction…
I overate and increased my aggression,
For unknown reasons, I suffered constipation,
Alcohol was not an acceptable substitution,
I tried nibbling carrots, dipped in vinegar,
My skin went Orange, the doc called it carotenemia,
It took me yonks to beat my addiction,
I could take months was the Doctor’s prediction,
Offering me tablets, a sort of antidepressant,
The pangs eventually lessened,
I was again feeling benignant,
Regained control, became again complaisant,
But it cost me my body, growing so corpulent!
STUCK IN THE LIFT ON A SUNDAY!
It could happen to anyone, any day,
This day it was the turn of Inchy…
He pressed the alarm button quickly,
Noticed his catheter bag filling promptly,
He hoped the engineer would get there speedily,
His innards rumbled; his bowels may self-empty!
The lift cage shook as it inched up, jerkily…
T’was the fire Brigade, his mobile did tinkle
The voice sounded like he was using a swozzle,
His hearing aid batteries died. What a muddle!
Heard nothing, but thought I might be in trouble,
Instructions being given were inscrutable,
And his catheter bag was now so very, very full!
The inching the lift up, at this rate, it would be April…
Before I’d be rescued, thinking irrationally, silly,
Hours later came the shaming… it was terrible,
They got the lift door open, 2ft of space available,
To physically pull my mass up, all they could do,
Then leant in, and dragged me up and through…
To the flat I almost flew,
Emptied the catheter, what a phoo!
Trotsky Terence’s evacuation, which was well overdue,
Needed to thank whoever lifted me out of the lift, though,
Nice chap, his name was Angelino. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I was busier overnight than I’ve been in years. I think I addressed this in the last blog; I nearly bored you with more of the same. Phew! The amount of sleep I got is easy-peasy to work out. Zilch, None, Zero, Ninguno, Keiner, Dim, Nessuno!
Falling to sleep now! Huh!
Decent colour
What an ablutioning and medicalisationing visitation this morning. Go wrongable? It did! Huh! I got some soapy, disinfected water in the bowl without any . Then the need for the Porcelain Throne arrived in a bit of a hurry… !!! A controlled evacuation, which exited at the speed of a torpedo, followed by the usual splurty detritus. Cleaning it up with all the bending needed gave new life & vigour to and. It also took me that long to clean up, so that the water in the bowl had gone cold. No problem, you say? Just empty it and refill it, you say? Well, it was for me! I made a right mess dropping the bowl as I was tipping it into the sink. I didn’t clean it up; my EQ told me not to bother. As I was refilling it with a jug from the sink tap, the jug shot out of my neurotic grip and joined the cold, disinfected water on the floor! Of course, I just laughed this off and tucked into the painful job of mopping up and drying the floor and mats. (Huh!) Then, refilled the bowl with the same things and started to have a shave. (Yes, the blood flowed freely, but not voraciously!) Then, the door chime rang out, and Carer Manpreet came in. There I was, starkus, with blood streaming down my head… I had to ask Manpreet to pass me a pair of PPs as I’d run out of them in the wet room. Which she did. I was given the medications, and Manpreet cleaned the wound on my right hand where I’d trapped it in a kitchen drawer the other day. The feet seemed a lot less filled with oemeba fluids, but they soon refilled again as the day went on… and on, and on. I may not sound happy this morning, there are a few reasons for that. Losing Carer Joe, being the main one. As soon as Manpreet departed, I scurried back into the wet room to continue finishing the shaving. Of course , the water for washing the feet had gone cold again!
As is my way, I carefully emptied the bowl and refilled it without incident.
I knew I shouldn’t have fallen into a state of smugness. As I began to finish shaving, I’d forgotten about the cuts earlier and swiftly added to the total. Which, as Carer Manpreet had said earlier, added to about twelve. Not now, it’s now sixteen, as far as I can gather. These, along with the three in gash from the other day, make me want to take the advice of Tim Price, and go ‘caveman!’
To the medication of the body’s various departments in need. I started with what I would usually leave till last. Little Inchies fungal lesion ointmentating. I was trying to be careful with the dropper… but dropped it! What a Plonker! It is only a tiny bottle, but all the liquid flowed away on the floor before I could get down to retrieve it… Banging my hand wound on the corner of the floor cabinet! I wiped it and put some Germolene on the thenar space this time, with a plaster. A good job; I keep some medications in stock for emergencies, just in case of any accidental injuries, falls, or walking into a door. Tsk!
Then they were cleaned, creamed and treated.
As far as here, and could do nothing for hours. Made infinitely worse because each bout from brought me back to semi-reality. And I couldn’t concentrate enough to do anything!
It was nearly going bonkers. I may have had a few times when returning to life, recovery took longer each time. Late in the night, the Seizures faded.
I made a meal ASAP in case the seizures returned.
MEAT FEAST TONIGHT
Carer Mizra came as I was washing the pots.
This evening view caught his eye.
I settled in after washing the pots and sat in the second-hand, charity shop-bought recliner that was £300, broken down, with a catheter tube crunching, dried blood-covered, grotty, dirty, and creaking frame, and fell asleep while watching the box. I stayed in it, as the Seizures and Colin Cramps had not bothered me, and might do if I got up to climb into the bed: Cunning, eh?
