Mon 21 Sept 15: Inchcock Today: Depressed!

Monday 21^st September 2015

Woke up in the chair 0305 hrs, ‘Little Inchy’ bleeding, stomach still churning and feeling guilt-ridden and pathetic.

Made a cuppa and got the laptop started.

Had a supportive email from ‘Ratty’ about me sorting problems – thanks Ratty.

To WC and tended to bleeding ‘Little Inchy’.

Still feeling  but down, I thought of the days demands. I must get diaries done, check me emails, keep up with Facebooking, then get a bath and shave and ready the things for the INR Warfarin Blood level tests at 1230hrs at the GP surgery.

Then I try to call Steve from Age UK to see what he plans to do about selling the old place. No answer.

According to whether I get through to him and an answer, and what he plans, I’ll see if I can get time to sort a bag or two out.

Started this diary.

An unwanted and unexpected feeling of utter depression built as the day went on.

My lower legs blew up hard like balloons, the bleeding, the toothache, the angina and more bothersome than ever was the reflux valve. Yet none of these were the reason for my depression – I think.

Again, all I did was graphics and internet until I got ready for me walk to the GP surgery.

It was pouring with rain, I put me big coat on and set out on me poddle to the surgery.

Called in the Winwood Community shed, no one there.

Got thoroughly soaked by the time I got to the surgery.

Made appointment for me flu jab, the nurse did me blood tests.

Went to Lidl and got some bits. Bus back to Sherwood, walkd through the park back to flat.

Made me nosh and didn’t even wash-up after it.

Odd that feeling like I do at the moment I continued to nibble biscuits, curls and iced lollies for the rest of me waking hours?

Collapsed in an odd sort of maze and did nothing in the work or sorting departments.

Watched some TV for ages, but my mind was not on it.

Didn’t even put the laptop on!

A deep melancholy took over. But somehow, as soon as I got me head down I nodded off as if my life depended upon it?

Woke up when BJ rang to say he’s pick me up in the morning twixt o800 > 0830hrs and lift me to the launderette bless him.

Woke a few times, can’t remember the dreams but I knew I’d had them.

Then on one occasion the toothache was bad so I went to get some painkillers and Whoopsiedangleplop! – the reflux valve stuck and i really thought “This is it” – amazing how although struggling to breath, I seemed so calm about it. Lasted a couple of minutes, then cleared, I could feel the selling going down and being replaced with a pain I’d not had before. Ah-well.

Sorry this diary might seem a tad morose, but that’s how the day was.

No doubt I’ll spring back – like Arnie! Hehe.

TTFN all.