Sunday 18th December 2016
Swahili: Jumapili Desemba 18, 2016
Sleep was not an option last night. Stewing, in my self-disgust and pure fear at the threats of violence I’d received, permeated my brain every time I woke up in a state with Duodenal Daniel giving me severe bother, I could not make up my mind whether I should bother with carrying on with these diaries at all, the news being so bad.
To a WRHD session, Little inchy and Haemorrhoid Harold both bleeding didn’t do anything to cheer me up. I am uncheerupable and will be until things sort themselves out and I know where I stand with the intimidation and threats.
Took the medications and sat at the computer with a mug of tea; Pondering, fretting and wallowing in shame at myself.
Today being Sunday, at least I was to stay indoors and not expose myself to the big bully boy or his Mother. I decided to make today a graphicalisationing day, I must not let this bovver boy destroy everything precious in my life.
The mind rumbled away with no positive plans, ideas or thoughts being involved. The only thing that presented itself to me was that I must not inflame the situation by revealing details of the violent personages involved.
I made another cup of tea and tried to get on with doing the graphics for the TFZer site. something to take my mind off of the threats of physical brutality.
Got it done and posted.
Still feeling nervous.
Computerising on and off all day.
Nosh not enjoyed.
The mind toying with my sanity and safety, confusing reigning.
No getting to sleep until the early hours of the morning.
Then up again two hours later, full of an empty feeling.
I hope to be back again soon.