Yesterday I nosedived into dysphoria at the news and complications with the bank. I spent most of the night awake pondering, regretting and feeling self-pity. I cannot see a solution. This was in-between nod-offs when dreams permeated and I’m sure made me feel worse, but I cannot recall actual details of any of the short dispiriting dreams, just a sense of defeatism and frustration.
Around 0300hrs I disentangled myself from the £300 second-hand recliner, no demands for the using of the porcelain yet, strange that for me.
Made another brew and did the first Health Checks.
Got the mucky clothes ready and went down to the Laundry Room.
Met fellow tenant Roy doing his laundry and we had a nice chinwag and laugh.
Got the washer going and up to the flat. Still no movement in the porcelain situation.
Made a mug of tea.
Carried out the second Health Check.
The weight seems to be going up and up? The temperature is too. Not that I was too concerned about this, in my low mood.
Back down and moved the clothing into the dryer. Back up to the flat again.
Sorted the medication dosage pots out.
Got the computer on and started these diaries on WordPress.
I have worried about suffering uhtceare, but not any longer do I worry about it, it has become the norm for me each and every morning.
Back down again to collect the now dried washing.
Up and put the clobber away.
Updated the excel readings and found the word uhtceare and loved it, so I used it as in the above. UHTCEARE: “There is a single Old English word meaning ‘lying awake before dawn and worrying.’ Uhtceare is not a well-known word even by Old English standards, which were pretty damn low. In fact, there is only one recorded instance of it actually being used.”Ten rare English Words to use
I’m now hoping someone will notice I’ve used this most appropriate and suitable word, and maybe I can become famous? Forget it, not my luck. Humph!
Spent a good few hours on WordPressing, then went onto Facebook.
Got the nosh and did the final health checks and took the medications.
So tired and full of angst about the bank problems, fretting too. Anne Gyna was causing me great discomfort in the extreme tonight.
I stirred around 0130hrs, extracted myself out of the recliner and to the porcelain. Pleased to report no bleeding, although, the hands and arms had acquired a rash of some sort?
Did the early Health Checks, the weight had gone up a bit?
Got a drink of orange juice and photographed the hand, then I returned once again to the £300 second-hand recliner to settle once more.
I noticed I had written something on the pad I keep handy to make notes of any dreams or any things I remember need doing, during the night. All I’d wrote was: floods, river, cave and dark?
Nodded off and stirred again at 0315hrs. The porcelain needed attending again (Oh, dear!). Made a flask of tea to last me a while, and onto the computer to do the diaries. Finished Thursday’s and posted it.
Then on CorelDraw to work on a graphic for the TFZ site.
Got the new header updated: Trimmed and posted to go in with the others.
Got the vegetables cut up and into cold water in the Crock-Pot ready to put on when I go out to see Pete later.
Rang Olive to get permission to visit her on my way back fro the meeting and shopping.
Did the ablutions and got things ready to take with me that I needed, passed wing and set out to catch the bus in plenty of time.
So sad to see the tree that was in the centre of the green now gone, just the trump left, Humph!
A new Scottish resident who rarley speaks or even answers when anyone says anything to him, like, ‘Good morning’, was ranting away in his strong accent about the destruction of the trees.
Listened to a few residents chibwagging while waiting to catch a bus, but I was the only one wanting the L9 destined for the City Centre.
I noticed that each nad every one of the concrete bollards has its own Loveliness of Ladybirds that seemed to have settled together on the tip of each post.
The other two came and went and I waited in the drizzle and wind another ten minutes for the City bus, which eventually arrived very late. This could not be avoided due to roadworks in Daybrook delaying all the traffic at the mement.
The other two buses came and went and I waited in the drizzle and wind another ten minutes for the City bus, which eventually arrived very late. This could not be avoided due to roadworks in Daybrook delaying all the traffice at the mement.
Arrived in town and dropped off into the rain on Upper Parliament Street and hobbled into the Victoria Centre.
Had a good walk around the Market, didn’t buy anything though. Down to the lower level and popped into the HMV shop, got a Jonathon Creek DVD. I was feeling far more cheerful than I have done for a good while.
Then into Tesco and got some bits, bread, bacon and Sopocka loin.
Out then to meet Pete at his bus stop. Gave im the pressies and nibbles, had a few minutes gossip and then went over the road to catch the last L9 bus back to the flats.
Into the flat and put the things away, went to check on the Crock-Pot vegetables and found that I had not put turned pot on! This started my sinking into a self loathing and pitying depression again…
I called in to see Olive and she had a look at the paperwork from the bank for me – while doing this, I got a phone call on the mobile from the bank manager – It seems that one of the qualifying items I’d supplied, from the Council Tax, had got the wrong postcode on it and is no acceptable. He is going to give me time to look for another statement from the m with 2016-2017 on it… which of course is impossible, as only one statement is issued a year?
He said he would phone me on Monday to see if I had found one. If Olive had not been there, I would have cried out loud.
I left Olive a different person to how I was when I arrived there. Morbid, listless and morose, dispitirited, woebegone and utterley depressed.
Back to the flat and had a meal, Mushroom Risotto, vegetable sausages (Very nice), chestnut, shiitasha and Po-Ku mushrooms and crispy bacon;
It should have been a wonderful nosh, but how I was feeling, so low now, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I should have.
To make things worse, I carried out the last Health Check and I’d put on 2lb from yesterday?
Feeling melancholy, lugubrious and so sorry for missen.
0240hrs: Woke in the £300 second-hand recliner chair, disappointed that I could not recall anything about the dreams I knew I had had. However, despite this, I felt far less sullen about life and almost sanguine in my outlook. Why, and what had changed? I’ve no idea: but was so glad at how I felt, praying this outlook will persist a while longer for me.
The wind was howling and the rain was beating down and I made my way to the porcelain for a heavy-duty session and once again, no bleeding from Haemorrhoid Harry or Little Inchy at all. This rare good start to the day almost jargogled my brain as I thought maybe I was really still asleep and dreaming? Hehe!
Did the first health checks, made a mug of tea and took the first medications of the day.
I made sure I’d got all the things needed for the visit to the new prospective bank man meeting to transfer all my stuff to, and I put them in the bag ready to go later.
Computer turned on and worked on yesterday’s post, then moved to start this one while I remembered things I’d done this morning up until now, then back to the Wednesday post to finalise and post it off.
Confirmed via email with Sister Jane that I would meet her in the morning… no, afternoon tomorrow at her bus stop at 1445hrs.
Updated the Health Check List on Excel. Responded to messages on WordPress. Then went onto Facebook.
Onto CorelDraw and titivated the graphic of TFZer gal Suzieann, and posted it to the TFZers site.
Took a good ablutionising session and set off with the bag of nibbles and raffle prizes to drop off at the Winwood Social Hut, along with notes from Olive to ask the bank manager at the meeting.
Rather sad to the blokes doing the preparation work for the modernisationing of the dwellings by hacking down the Chestnut Trees.
Penny and Obergruppenfurheress Warden Julie were in. Gave Penny (Past Warden of the flats and now newly self- appointed Social Hour Organiser) the things and explained why I will be missing yet another Social Hour, then plodded down Winchester Hill into Sherwood.
Espied whatever these berries are growing in the hedgerow over the wall and wondered what they were?The wind was a blowing somewhat, so this is the best
The wind was a blowing somewhat, so this blurry effort is the best I could manage at taking a photo of them.
I was in plenty of time for the meeting, so had an amble up Mansfield Road, noticing that in the Bird’s Cake shop, they had only about six of the iced scones I liked. So I nipped in and asked them if I could pay for a couple and collect them later (Cause they are bound to be sold by the time I get out of the meeting with the bank manager) – and the girl said no problem.
Poddled further up the hill and got a TV magazine for next week then strolled down to the bank and waited for the meeting.
The Bank Manager greeted me in the foyer and asked me to wait a while and that a lady would be sitting in with us on the meeting if that is alright. I said okay and did some of the crosswords in the book while waiting.
My having difficulty in hearing what he was saying and him having a mouth that was so hard if not impossible to lip read made it hard going for both of us, although he was patient. I actually changed the batteries in the Hearing Aids and tried different settings without any luck in getting them to work, this puzzled me until I saw the solidly impacted ear wax blocking the earpiece on the right lughole.
After over an hour of, to me, hard work in form filling signing etc, I thought to myself: They recognise dyslexia as an ailment illness, so why do they not acknowledge folk like me who have similar problems with maths and numbers? Just a thought like.
I had to pull up the manager a few time (3) when I saw him enter details on the computer that were wrong. He misspelt my name on one, put a wrong number in and selection of my personal details on a page, one of the many pages he was forced to fill-in and explain to me as he did so.
About two hours after entering the room, he said we are onto the last session now… another hour later it was all done, and I ended up with a folder of waffle to ‘Read through later at my leisure’ as he said.
They must be 30 forms and booklets in the pack, and I’m going to need a bit of advice and help on digesting all this.
He added that I will be receiving two phone calls from the bank asking about the interview and how it went?
Then a call from him to arrange another meeting to discuss investment opportunities and other accounts and options available. He already mentioned they supply home and other insurances, pensions etc.
All this I imagine, to cover regulations and to satisfy the bank’s natural addiction to quomodocunquising?
We nattered between sorting things, and the lady kindly reminded me tp collect my cream cakes from the shop. Hehe!
I felt well drained as I left to walk to collect my cream cakes from the shop.
Up the hill to the bus stop and nearly fell asleep and missed the stop at the flats. As I dismounted the bus, all of the concrete bollards had ladybirds massing on them. I still can’t find out why, though? Should they even be about in February?
Got in the flat and put the folder from the bank away and visited the porcelain – no bleeding again. Good!
Sister Jane rang, she thought I was meeting her today and had been waiting for me at her bus stop in town… Oh dear! She could not meet me tomorrow but will send hubby Pete to meet me and collect the nibbles and pressies.
Got the nosh going.
The Sourdough bread, unfortunately, was uneatable, it had gone bitter for some reason? And I threw away the tomatoes, they were extremely bitter too. Not that I needed them, plenty of other fodder to eat. The cream cakes were nice afterwards.
I did the washing up and sat down with a mug of orange juice and pondered over whether or not I should get the ever increasing pile of washing done… and fell asleep.
Woke and it was getting dark.
Took the medications and changed into night attire.
Got the TV on to watch some Heartbeat. Fell asleep and woke up again late on.
Made a drink, and settled to watch The Persuaders, didn’t even get to the first commercial break, nodded off again.
Bright-eyed and bushy tailed, psyched up and feeling uncommonly alert was how I sprang awake at 0300hrs, from the last of the nod-offs I’d been through. For some reason, I could not get to sleep last night until gone midnight again? Then spent many periods of sleep with a duration of minutes and am sure I dreamt each time. However, not like the one’s I have been having, not so bad this time. I even reckon some romance was in there, but disappointingly cannot recall much actual detail, other than I was in Australia during one dream and rolling down a road with a lady in the car by my side… oh yes! Hehe! Better not mention what happened, it might get me too excited and Anne Gyna is already giving me grief from the moment I woke up – I think the dreams were to blame? Hahaha!
I dismounted the working well this morning £300 second-hand recliner chair and made my way to the porcelain room. No bleeding from anywhere, a nice change that and very welcome.
Carried out the first Health Checks without any hiatus.
Worrying this. A certain ambivalence mingled with my thoughts on life, as I made a mug of nice strong Thompson’s tea and took the medications.
The depression seemed to have eased a little this morning as I got some emails and comments of a kind and supportive nature. I’m certainly not feeling insouciant, but definitely better than of late, no doubt. I just hope to avoid the blackness returning via accidents, Whoopsidangleplops or cruel words.
Computer activated and finalised and posted yesterday’s diary off. A quick return to the porcelain was demanded, and this concerned me just a little… I wish the innards would pick either the Trots or Blockage route to take and make it’s mind up and stick with one or the other! Hehehe!
Started this page and then did some Facebooking.
Hopefully, next week I can get back to attending the Windwood Tenants Centre Social Hour on Thursdays again. Everything seems to have prevented me these last few weeks.
Week one: The clinic changed my appointment to the Thursday
Week Two: Nottingham City Homes arranged a Tenant’s interview for the Thursday
Week Three: Nottingham City Homes Maintenance arranged to call on the Thursday between 0800>1200hrs so I could not go again. The actually arrived at midnight, woke me up and said they would return twixt on Friday 0800hrs > 1200hrs, but didn’t, still no one has called or attended.
Week Four: Things were all at ‘Go Mode’ for this meeting: Until the Bank Manager arranged a meeting with me for… Yes, You’ve guessed it, Thursday, and at 1000hrs (The time the Winwood meeting should start) and the meeting will take he said about Two and a half hours! Humph!
I realise that I cannot be considered a lucky person – but this is getting ridiculous! I’ll take some raffle prizes and nibbles down for them on my way to the bank and drop them off. Wonder if they remember me? Haha!
The Morrison’s food delivery is due anytime now.
I had a go at cleaning the cooker hobs. Took me over an hour, trying different scourers and cleaners and I was most unsatisfied with the results, although they might have ended up just a bit cleaner than when I started. Tsk!
Not very good at all. I suppose I’ll have to get a professional in to clean them and the oven?
The food’s arrived, one substitute, all there okay.
Next back to the computing and wait for the pretend lady cleaners to arrive.
They came and pretended, but we had a good natter and laugh.
Phoned Olive to say I’ll call again after she’s had lunch to ask if I can visit her.
Visited Olive. She was in a reasonable condition considering her upcoming operations, a wonderfully coping woman. She even gave me some questions to ask the bank man in the morning, bless her. We chatted about her younger days and after a kiss, I departed to attend the porcelain back at number 72, feeling uplifted at Olive’s spirit and beauty.
The porcelain session revealed no blood from anywhere, further uplifting news for the Nottingham Pensioner.
I emailed Sister Jane about Friday when we arranged for me to meet her in town, and I agreed to see her at her bus stop at 1445hrs. Doesn’t give us much time other than a quick hug and my handing over the pressies and nibbles and say out farewells, before I have to catch the last L9 bus back home 15 minutes later, but it’ll be nice to see her.
I got the meal going and read a bit of the Top Gear book.
The fodder was a bit of a mixed bag success and taste-wise. The tomatoes were bitter and could not be eaten, the pea-rice was okay, the apples too. The vegetarian sausages were nice and the Lasagne disappointing.
Best I can give this effort is 7/10, shame.
Got the goggle-box on and ate what I could of this poor effort. Washed the things up.
Stayed awake to watch two hours or so of Law & Order, before drifting off into slumber.
Having got through the night of horrendous dreams, rooftop chases, falling in the canal, underground caves, being chased in sewers, decapitated by Roman soldiers… I’m sure there were many more events that took place in my slumbers, but these ones I can recall. I think I woke up feeling wearier than I went to sleep.
0300hrs: The £300 second-hand recliner chair grumblingly and jerkily allowed me out of it to get to the porcelain. Where the news was good. No bleeding from Haemorrhoid Harold or Little Inchy. Reflux Roger was not too good, but Duodenal Daniel, Anne Gyna and Harry Hernia no bother much at all. Arthur Itis his usual self with the knees and ankles, just a bit annoyed with the hands and fingers. Overall, a great start to the day! Fingers crossed (Painfully thanks to Arthur. [Hehehe!]) Carried out the first of the health checks, all looked good.
Got the laundry stuff collected and down to the laundry room. Got the washer going and back up to the flat. Computer turned on and finished yesterday’s diary and posted it off.
Did the top photo and made a start on this one. Time to go down to move the laundry into the dryer. (0330ish) This I did, then back to the computer and worked on this diary and updated the Excel Health Check Sheet.
A final trip down to the laundry room to collect the gear and clean it up. On the way down and throughout these activities, I found myself mentally having a self-critical panegyrical discussion. Boy did I perorate with myself, no summing up or conclusions were arrived at, though. In those few minutes going down in the lift, I think I analysed and repeatedly refuted my rights to sanity? Weird that?
I retrieved the dried clothes into the bag, washed the filter and wiped around.
All done around 0415hrs or so, and back up to the flat.
Put the clobber away and made another cuppa and took the medications and creamed the areas of my masculine, the flaccid body that needed the attentions of the creams and lotions. Haha!
Back on the computer.
Decided to go out later and get some fodder in after I go to the clinic. Must make a list of things to take with me, I’ll do it now… Done it.
Ablutions were done I wrapped up well and set off for the Clinic. I forgot to take the request for new pads with me, but at least it was only one thing I forgot to take with me today… I hoped, Hehe!
I rang Warden Dean to see if I could talk with her about the meeting with the bank on Thursday, but could not get through – Try again later it said. Maybe I dialled the wrong number?
Caught the 40 bus straight to the clinic and was in and out in half an hour. A Dr Dragomir Vladimirescu, (I think) along with a nurse and several students,did the checks in no time and declared that surgery should not be expected now as things were healing so well, but to anticipate the odd bleeding sessions in times of stress? Stress, I thought, what does that mean? I asked him. Nighttime erections he said? (Oh?)
As I came out of the building to get the bus, both hearing aids bleeped to indicate they needed changing. So, bus back to the flat and changed them, luckily it timed well with the L9 to City Bound bus’s arrival, and I caught that into the Slab Square. Chinwag with a few tenants appreciated.
I had a walk around the City Centre (And I mean walk, not hobble, as Arthur Itis was being kind to me today, bless him) and ended up at M&S’s Foodhall, feeling a bit of sorrow for the Big Issue selling bloke at the entrance and handed him a bit of cash.
Spent far too much, I blame Marks & Spencers for selling Sour Dough bread, Best Beef Steak Lasagnes, leeks, swedes, Lemon Swiss Rolls and Lamb Moussaka. Never had this before, but it looks similar to Lasagne, so I should like it I hope.
I noticed when packing the things I’d bought, into the bags at the check-out, that this, as well as the lasagne, had three red warnings on the content label thingamajig on the box label. Oh, dear? Plenty of life on them all, well, four days.
I caught a bus, (oh I do love my free pensioner’s bus pass) into Arnold and called in to get some roast cooked belly pork slices. Popped into Fulton Food Stores and got four small jars of Silverskin Onions in pickled vinegar for only £1, bargain there I thought!
Went to catch the L9 bus back to the flats, but it did not arrive? Whilst waiting at the bus stop, Anne Gyna started off giving me bother, rather badly bless her. I caught a bus into the City Centre, then the L9 from Queen Street back to the flats. Got in and took some extra Codeine Phosphate. The Morphine Sulphate would have been a lot better, Anne Gyna seemed to be persisting so they have taken me off of this, in preparation for the operation later, so I’m not complaining… or am I? Hehehe!
Anne Gyna seemed to be persisting. I could not concentrate to read the book, so got the fodder done earlier than usual.
I had this vegetarian meal with a roast cooked belly pork sandwich. Naughtily did some oven chips, too many perhaps, but I ate it all.
My Dad used to call me a ‘Gannet! He was right.(All very good, including the Silverskin onions in pickling vinegar with peppers!)
Sudden tiredness overcame me as I was watching the TV, but still, I could not get to sleep until well gone midnight again, thanks to Anne Gyna.
