Inchcock Today – Saturday 30th September 2017: Major Calamity Grade Whoopsiedangleplop!

Saturday 30th September 2017

Bad night for dreams. Did not wake up until around 0530hrs. Then, I glanced around the room and the same feeling that overcame me last night returned. Well, many feelings but all with the same pattern of guilt at the state of the place. Contrition, disgrace, pangs of conscience and self-reproach being the worst of them.

I recalled the promise to myself last night that I made: “I’ll get the cleaning up done first thing in the morning, use the hoover later so as not to bother the neighbours with the noise.” The idea of leaving it all and doing something else, anything at all – fleetingly came to mind, but the guilt was too strong.

The ailments seemed kind as I dismounted the £300 second-hand recliner and made my way to the Porcelain Throne. A rock-hard start, followed up with a messy slush of sorts?

Then into the kitchen to make a mug of tea. Did the Health Checks and took the medications, well, I was about to: I had to rush back to the Throne, and it was not a good session, it was a long hard battle for a few minutes again, and then Trotsky Terence had a bash at me! Splashing, spraying,  More cleaning up to do before I could start on the housework – or should that be apartment-work or flat-work? Haha!

Back in the kitchen again, I found I had left the hot tap running and now, had no hot water! Briefly, I allowed naughty thoughts to come into the brain, like, “Should I bother doing the cleaning, no hot water will make it difficult to clean-up…” But, my conscience would not permit me the luxury of being slothful again! I decided to start on the front room.

The view outside was beautiful as I went out onto the balcony.

The lights were about to go out, cause I think they do so around 0600hrs this time of year.

Took a look at the windows to see if I might get away without cleaning them on the outside. The mess inside was more noticeable with the lights on inside and dark out! What an idiot I am! They were in a terrible state, and it was evident that they needed doing urgently.


I took two photographicalisations down from the balcony, to the left and the other, straight down. To say that I did them in a rush, they came out alright, I thought. And, it was not cold at all out there, and the few spots of rain earlier had stopped altogether.

I tried to energise myself and apply a gritty ‘Sticktoitiveness’ into my psychological state. To dedicate me to get the cleaning up done, whatever happens! So I did. Although as you will read, the stickability idea came unstuck, thanks to Trotsky Terence, old age, Anne Gyna and bleeding a lot rather when I had my shave. Humph! Hehe!

The photographs following, are of the area before of the left, and after on the right, of each zone tackled so heroically by Inchcock, I thank you. (Hehe!)

I decided to work anti-clockwise around the room and to end up doing the hoovering because it would be well past 0800hrs and some by then. Started with the corner display with the photos on it. I seemed to cope with the bending to dust and polish, even the screw on ends, without too much hassle. Did the frames and spent a few minutes when I saw Dad’s and Suzie’s pictures. Replaced the other stuff. Felt quite good at this stage, mind you, of course, I’d only just started the job.

 Then onto the DVD shelves and the fire surrounds. This took me three hours to get done, and other Porcelain Throne visits in between.

I made up a bag of stuff to take to the Nottingham Hospice Shop later. Lots of DVD’s and the new fancy landline phone I didn’t get on with at all. I tried to sort out the DVD’s, thinking the 20 or so I was giving to the Hospice Shop would make more room, there seemed to be less by the time I’d done the polishing and started tp out the whole lot back on the shelves? I replaced Maries’ kindly donated to me from Australia, Koala Katie in pride of place on top of the DVDs and had a chat with her. Well, I love Koala Katie!
Dusted and polished the fire surrounds, truncheons, plaque, clock, dusted Margaret Thatcher, she still ‘Squeaks’ when squashed you know, even all these years later!

Tackled the bookshelves and moved the hearing aids and accoutrements into their own tray. Then started on the 1963 second-hand G-Plan that holds the landline and computer and printer stuff on top and all sorts of rubbish inside. A Major Calamity Grade Whoopsiedangleplop here! I’m afraid. The wooden door runners spilt open when I tried to close them after polishing them. The right-hand ones do not open anymore, Sob! I’ve left the left ones ajar so you can see how they should open. I had to use WD40, brute force and a prayer to get the broken door to close. My heart in the cleaning up task faded at this point!

Heck of a job getting the computer and TV screens cleaned without leaving any streaks. The alarm panel was involved too, I was scared of setting it off. After doing the best I could, I stopped for a break and mug of tea.The dreaded one next!

The dreaded one, the paperwork! But I took my time and got things sorted in the end. I remembered to keep the audio record book and card out on the writing desk and the INR card too, cause I’ll need them this week. (Smug Mode Adopted here, Hehe)

The office looked a lot better than it has done for some time, the two folder holders are beginning to burst at the seams, though. Might have to invest in another one soon.

The one area I thought I would not have any hassle with was the chairs. I was wrong! The cover on the recliner just did not want the hoover to remove all the little crumbs from my nocturnal nibbling session. Then I sprayed the wrong polish on the leather chair with the broken leg and cracked at the back. I used the window spray in mistake for the leather spray. What a Pallava it was getting it sorted!

Finally (photo taken at 1825hrs) actual time approx 1200hrs), the hoovering was done, a wee-wee and fatigued in the extreme now.

I wanted to get the Nottingham Hospice things delivered with the other stuff.

I pondered a while on if I would be okay walking around the block. Thought I would be, apart from Trotsky Terence and Anne Gyna giving hassle, all seemed well.

I boiled some saucepans of water and the kettle to get a stand-up wash and shave. .. then I thought, would the shower heater work now the boiler is cold? I was in luck, it was hot water coming from the shower head. Hippy! So, I carefully did the teggies, and shave, into the shower for a scrub-up and got the togs on, and bag ready to take to the Hospice Shop.

I got as far as over the road and onto the gravel hill path up to the park and realised I had not got the hearing aids in or the Lumix with me. So I legged it back to the foyer, and two girl tenants were just getting out of a taxi, so I waited for them holding the door open and helped one with her bag into the lift. To the flat, picked up the aids and camera and off again.

The feet were not too bad, but Anne Gyna was giving me bother.

Up the gravel hill again. Hehe!

Through the park to the gates and had a look at the Food Stalls on offer. Nothing of interest to me, there were seven food stalls, eleven personages available for serving clients, and two potential customers.

Very sad for the retailers.

Into Sherwood and dropped off the things at the Hospice Shop.

Sherwood seemed awfully quiet for a Saturday?

I walked down to the Co-op and got some soft bread and bananas.

By-passed the cake and hot food shops and made my now, very slow limp up Winchester Street Hill, back the complex.

On the way up, I spotted this slug. It seemed to be trying to drink water in a little crevice on the cracked pavement. Or not?

I was getting more wearier as I plodded on.

I got in and onto the Porcelain Throne, yet again. Splashes, splatters, WC and myself to clean up again. Getting fed-up again.

Did the checks and medications and took an anti-diarrhoea capsule. Then spotted the morning drugs that I was about to take much earlier when I got the Trots… still in their pot untaken! Tsk!

The recycling bags were posted through the door, they seem to come every two weeks nowadays. All five of them.

Then got on with finishing off yesterdays diary. Better late than never. Emails and WordPress reading. Then started this journal off. Many hours later. Even more, sacred hours passed my usual head-down time, I got it finished as the evening darkness grew darker.

Thought about the meal and what to have and got the urge to have some baked beans, seasoned with Balsamic vinegar, cheesy potatoes and BBQ smoked mackerel sounded nice. Realised I had only one tin of beans left, I added some to my Morrison order for Wednesday, or whenever it is for.

Then got the nosh cooking, well, no cooking at all really. I had instant mash with the last of the cheese mixed in, BBQ mackerel and baked beans with balsamic vinegar.

The light and free yoghourt had gone off badly – Pwher, nearly I passed out when I whipped off the lid! Eurgh! Haha!
Hope the others in the fridge are still okay.

I think I was too tired to get to sleep tonight. The nodding offs did not start until very late on. And, one dream, well, bits of one of them I could recall and made this graphic in the morning to show what it was about. I was at the British Railways house in Brookfield Place, as I was living there in my early years. I was on my own and searching for a ten-bob note in the outside loo, and the pigeons would not let me get out again? That’s all I recall.

4 thoughts on “Inchcock Today – Saturday 30th September 2017: Major Calamity Grade Whoopsiedangleplop!

    • Not easy is it, gal?
      You get it sorted, then have days of medical appointments and these tire you more, so less gets done – then guilt raises its head and you shatter yourself more in a mammoth clearing up session… and it starts all over again… Hehehe! ♥ XXX

  1. Besides your Major Calamity Grade Whoopsiedangleplop, it looks like you made some progress on straightening things up. I think you a shaming me, as things are a bit of a shambles around our place at the moment. That’s pretty serious door sticking if you had to resort to WD-40. I thought you had got a photo of one of our congressmen until I read it was a slug. They are both slow, slimy, spineless creatures that ruin everything they touch — well the slug is less distructive. Looks like you are getting the food sorted out pretty well.

  2. The straightening things up took a lot out of me, mate. Shattered!
    The door sticking mending is beyond my knowledge and physical abilities. Sad, but I’ll have to just not use that side of the cupboard or get a new one, which is a financial challenge. I might have a look in some stores today when I get out later.
    I like the way you got the congressmen into the comment and your description!
    The Trotskies are back again still. Three in two hours this morning, hope it settles so I can get out.
    Must get some more Senna’s and Immodiums in stock, cause things keep going from one extreme to the other lately. Hehehe!

Leave a Reply