Flawed Inchy: Friday 6th December 2024

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Life is spent mainly in the flat here…
Doing my post in the blogosphere,
Accompanied by my leaking catheter,
Falling & forgetting things is regular,
My man breasts need a brassiere,
Waking into things while hobbling,
Forgetting to put my hearing aids in,
BP shooting up and then dropping,
Toppling over when diapering,
And as for the medicationing…
Certain areas are beyond reaching,
My being shaped like a flabby Buddha,
Ointmentating, like on the lesions puncture,
It must be comical to watch for any onlooker,
Like the poor first of the day calling Carer!
Christopher once burst into laughter,
Diabetic socks off, then on as it gets darker,
Well, I am now an ageing old codger,
I’m getting challenges arithmetically,
Can no longer rely on my memory,
Doing my best with ailments physically,
No help at all with my problems mentally,
Neuropathy, seizures, or dementially,
Neurotransmitters dying off, & FND,
I use a lot of Germolene & TCP,
Gladys Glaucoma, Toothache Tiffany…
Cartilage Carol (right) (left), it’s Chloe,
Mind-Mangling-Malcolm, daily,
Dizzy Dennis, Electric shocking Sherida,
Medication hearing aid batteries get costlier,
Shaving, with cuts via the razor,
The average ablution time is now two hours,
We’ve voted stealer-Starmer as Prime Minister,
I’m far worse off financially!
Some days, I live apathetically,
Or I struggle through, pathetically,
Got that old age quality – caducity…
Hence, I wrote this goliardery!
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I woke up and did some press-ups, a few squats, and a bit of shadowboxing. Then, I ran down 15 floors of the stairs and back up again.  Hahaha! 
At 06:00hrs, I stirred from my broken slumber. It took me six minutes to untangle the . Oddly, and a first, this was… I had six shocks in succession from the right ankle. No more for 10 hours!

And what a mess I’d made of taking the urine photograph. I’ve no idea what I did wrong. It was on the auto setting when I took the picture. Off to the wet room, I trudged and wobbled. 
It was another marathon session, and it took a lot of encouragement, forcefulness, and pain to get things to even start. Keeping the torpedo moving was difficult; it was so big again. I think the oohs and arghs might have helped a little. I had to use the long, stiff bamboo cane to break ‘things’ up so that the cistern could cope with getting the evacuated product down the pipes to the sewer. Phwor! 

I washed and medicated the delicate areas. Compared to yesterday, it was a real struggle to put on the fresh PPs. Went into the kitchenette. Where I took the photo above. Then, I saw a view on offer about five minutes later, with another shot of the same area, after I’d noticed the sudden change in the sky’s hue. Green to brown?
I sorted the waste bags and took them to the rubbish chute. It was 07:00 hrs now, so the noise of flying down the tube for 12 floors shouldn’t bother anyone. I hope it didn’t.

I got on the computer to update things, but this seemed to bother them, and they kept kicking off pretty regularly. Although I didn’t detect any long ones (of course, there may have been), it just meant I had to keep rechecking what I’d done while I was in La-La-Land. I did this, correcting a few errors while my concentration was disconnected. I’m doing poetry here without realising it!

I changed the day & dates on my super-advanced, new-to-me clock/calendar thingamabob.
I thought that having this and altering it daily would help me remember the day, date and time better. It doesn’t! I’m sure it must have been made in the 1970s, but I like it.

Taking this shot later, from the kitchenette window, Carer Christopher arrived. The nibbles & drinkies were attacked with some style. Hehe!

The lad sorted the medications, then he put the diabetic socks on my legs and replaced the bag for me. Bless him. 

This view of Junk Room one was snapped. I wandered into the kitchen to take one of Junk Room Two. A whiff of guilt was scented, but not for long.
I checked in the fridge for the use-before dates that I could read. They seemed good to me.

At this point, I involuntarily passed the loudest and longest burst of leg-bending, body-lifting wind that has ever escaped my rear-end in 70-odd years! 
I just thought I’d mention it!

Eventually, I got the Thursday blog sent off, as Carer Joanne arrived for the midday call. 
Despite continuing, I pressed on with the blogging of this post. But it was gruellingly slow going.
I could call it torturously, but I won’t.

Embarrassingly, a Tesco food order arrived. I think it’s best to try to stop having food delivered. Weather, time, and health permitting, I might try to get to Heron’s food store in Sherwood instead. I’ll phone Jenny when I find out whether the nurse will call. I’m not with it at this moment. But I must stop having all these unwanted deliveries.
Confused? Me? Yes!

I did something I’d not done in a while  as I hastened to get to the intercom in time to admit the delivery driver. Not that it bothered me; naturally, I laughed it off with gay abandonment.

The driver put the things in the boxes without any hesitation for me. And I placed them in the hallway. It was a learning curve for me emptying the bins. Cause I was blown away if I could remember making the order in the first place. Obviously, it must have been done during one of the prolonged seizures last week. I put the cleaning materials in junk room three. Then, I emptied the box; why did I order two packets of microwave sausages? I’ve already got a packet of frankfurters in the fridge! And I got desserts when I’ve got all those jellies in the refrigerator? And I got more bacon and different types of bread rolls! I’m losing it here! There is no doubt about it. Inchy’s lost it!
The fridge is looking fuller now, and with Carer Chris’s help, I discovered that I have another delivery coming tomorrow!
I think I need help.

Depressed now. Fed up, confidence shattered. Feelings of self-hating and embarrassment flooded over me.

I photographed the evening view and went back to writing this blog post. I’m not sure how I feel now. I would generally have been so angry with myself. But now I just feel depressed at my inability to control my own actions and life. Cognitive Impairment Iris, Diabetic Doreen Dementia and FND have beaten me.

Carer Chris made his next-to-last call. I continued here for a while and then sorted out a meal. Can anyone guess what the things on the food tray are? I’m not sure myself.
Thanks to this morning’s (Sat) repeated seizures and Memory-Mangling-Malcolm, with Glaucoma Gladys being in one of her foggy-misty-view modes.
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Cheers!

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