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From the experiences of an unwanted child on ration,
His childhood stolen; his heart broken…
Full of fear and apprehension,
Daily failures, Mother in police detention…
Very little learning or education,
He grew up in debt and devil-ridden,
He became an expert in deprivation,
Coped with destruction, devastation…
In life, I have a detachment, a disconnection,
I got shot twice when working in protection,
Coped with disfiguration, mental/physical dysfunction,
I pressed on, despite my lack of gumption,
I retired, to constant hospitalisation,
Peripheral Neuropathy, then a heart operation,
Duodenal Ulcer, & private parts Fungal Lesion,
Struggling now on my meagre pension,
Sir Starmer stole my Winter Fuel donation!
Acne, eczema, hearing aids, & cataract operation,
Almost black blood, thus the Catheter Contraption,
Ankle ulcers, far too many a contusion,
Harold Haemorrhoids, cancer, bloods secretion,
Doreen Dementia causes many a transgression,
Still waiting for my Glaucoma operation…
My hopes & plans are mere theorisation,
I’d like a brain transfusion, but that’s a delusion,
As is life sometimes… peace of mind is ungotten,
There’s always something I’ve forgotten…
Unavoidable depths of depression…
Self-vilification & condemnation,
Self-criticism, and animadversion,
Now, Sandra’s-Mini-Seizure activation,
Any length of time, sometimes in repetition,
Electric-Shocking Sherida, from the Ankles lesion,
Sometimes I feel completely forfoughten,
No shortages of ointments and medication,
I got a Christmas card from the Cardiac surgeon!
Sometimes, you’ll feel all so low and forsaken,
Cognitive Impairment Iris = confusion,
Toothache Tiffany is another inclusion…
Diabetes 2, I’m also a Diabetic Dementian,
Neurotransmitters, failing, they pseudo listen,
Pass wrong messages to my cerebrum,
Thus, Memory-Mangling-Malcolm,
Let’s not forget my right testicle ganglion!
Every day is literally an ordalian,
My flat is like a prison or garrison,
Compared to my youth there is no comparison,
Life will not work as planned, not halcyonian…
They’ll tell you not to eat bacon,
But you will, as a revengeful impulsion,
For your mental & physical distortion,
I think life is an intermission…
Or maybe an incantation?
I think the above lines were malapropian,
Best just stick with eating smoked bacon?
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06:15hrs. I woke. Found myself still sat in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. I tried to understand why I expected to wake up in the hospital but didn’t. Ah! Slowly, it dawned on me. I was going to watch some football last night into this morning. I couldn’t see the TV from my bed. I fell asleep in the chair, as usual when watching the TV. I woke up where I did. 
I removed the colourful nocturnal urine pouch from the day bag.

The pains started when I moved and bent down to reach the pouch. Joanne, I think it was who put the new day pouch on for me, and it was lovely and comfortable after she had done so. But now, any movement seems to cause me pain and bleeding from Little Inchies Fungal Lesion? Later, I just had to take off the PPs cause I thought it was them tugging against the new holding straps that were causing the agony. But No! The pain continues even now at 15:00hrs. I must call the District Nurse if Monday morning isn’t any better. Not that I’ll be able to get through. I think Chloe phoned last time we called them on a Monday, and she was number 15 in the waiting queue! I tried putting another pair of PPs on, but the pain increased, so I took them off again. I’m having to stuff paper towelling in my crutch to catch the blood. It’s not a lot, but enough, if you gather my meaning?

So, ‘Inchy’s Lamentable Luck’ continues.

Hobbled with the stick to the kitchen and took some pathetic pictures of the morning view. It was raining, but I braved getting a little wet to get decent results. 
That, as you see, didn’t work!

Being still a little early for the late sleepers, I farted about and, got a bowl of water with disinfectant and washing up liquid, and stood in it while I did my teeth & shaved. 
Just 3 teeny-weeny cuts and a facial scratch shaving. Then I stepped out of the bowl on the floor to start the body scrub…
Cartilage Chloe gave way as I got a leg out of the bowl. Naturally, the bowl wriggled and water was spilt all over the floor. I banged my left knee on the pedestal as I was instigated. I knocked over , which hit the trolley and bounced back and down, landing spot on ! As I bent down to retrieve the stick, I tugged at Inchies Fungal Lesion, and the blood flowed to join the water on the floor!

Got the mess cleaned up in a fashion. Then, the body scrub was done without any more faux pas. That was until it came to the medicating. I did what I thought would be the easy parts first. The Sweat rashes underneath my man breasts and around my back. (I’ll ask the carer when he or she comes to do the back or me). The arms, ankles and groin. Then I . Next, I  , then ,  where I could reach anyway, and then I on both knees. Used the picker-upperer and paper towels to tend to . 
Lastly… Dang, dang, dang…Dang!
. The pain and bother from this put all the others to shame! No matter how I tried to avoid pulling on the tube, not tugging the catheter or its bag, and not catching the support strap… I did. Repeatedly!
I may have said ‘Blimey!’ or ‘Shuck!’ or something similar amidst the Arrghs and foul language released!
As a final thought, after finishing the medications, I thought I’d put some Germolene on my bottom externally. But I could not seem to find the tube anywhere. I searched along the length of the floor cabinets and inside. Nope! Then, I limped with the stick to the front room to get my torch, returning to shine it down the back of the floor cabinets, which I felt was the only place the Germolene might have fallen out of sight. Nope! This failure to find the Germolene really annoyed me! 
I returned the torch to the recliner and returned to the wet room, needing the Porcelain Throne. Settled myself down in anticipation of another battle to force things along, another Constipation Conrad session, as it has been for several days. But no!  had made a comeback. The evacuation was almost a pleasure this morning..
As I was getting my dressing gown on…
I spotted the squashed Germolene Cream tube in plain sight on top of the floor cabinet? Why, how, did I not see it before. 
This also baffled me!

I felt it must be night, and I’d somehow missed the day, or it took me that long in the wet room. I thought I may have fallen asleep or had a seizure on the WC for the day? Tsk!
I take it that I’m still alive? Has anyone seen me lately? Hehehe!

I put the waste bags into one big one and placed it near the front door.

Then, I flavoured some spring water with lemon juice.

Then, it at least seems that I took this photo on the left for some unknown reason. It must have been me cause it was found in order on the SD card?
Next, I hoovered around the tiny flat. I just love the headlights on this vacuum cleaner.
The rain was getting heavy now. I thought of the carers on their way to work and how damp they would be when they arrived at the prison. No, no, I meant to arrive at the flats.
The end car park mudslide had appeared suddenly. When I peeked out earlier, there was nothing there.
I made a brew of Co-op 99 tea and updated the quaint, old-fashioned calendar clock. I tried to work out how long it had taken me to complete the medicationalisationings and ablutions. I think I was in there for about two hours & ten minutes or thereabouts. These jobs are taking me too long, but how can I get help that will not cost me a fortune? I can’t!
That’s the end of that self discussion. Haha!

I got on the computer no sooner than I had taken a hold. Slowing down my progress even more! My concentration was weak.

Carer Promise arrived at about 0905hrs. He checked the catheter for me and removed one of the grippers. He then put on the diabetic socks for me and reminded me to take a vitamin B tablet. He ID’d the urine colour for me, and I emptied and wrapped/sealed it in a blue bag. Then, prescription medications were given.

Carer Kimberley made the next call.

I cannot recall any sequences and precious few details of the next few hours. It’s all an amalgamation of possibilities, faded, useless bits of nothingnesses, and do you know? I don’t believe this bothered me at all. Of course, fact, fiction and fantasy were floating freely in my feelings and senses. 

When Sandra released things, I started to recall things, like feeling hungry and making two cheesy cob bacon rolls to eat. Despite the atrociousness of this photograph, and it was a lousy effort, I enjoyed it!

I think I must have taken this shot earlier. I’ve no idea when. It had to be during the seizures.
Around 17:00hrs, the rain ceased.
About time, too! HaHa! Not that it bothered me, being imprisoned in the cell… Flat!

Yet again, I felt hungry. And made another snack.
I put some potato cubes in the air fryer. And I’ll microwave sausages later with raw peas.

Carer Richard arrived. Peptac Codeines were given. I forgot to ask him to take off the diabetic socks. Huh!

Then, I made the second snack of the day.
I undercooked the sausages but still ate them.

I tried getting the socks off, but it was too painful.
At 0025hrs, I got my head down.

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May Your Maracas Remain Musical!
TTFNski
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