True Tales of Woe – Page 23

Inchcock’s True Security Guarding Tales of Woe – The Victoria Hotel

Inchcock’s True Security Guarding Tales of Woe

The Irish, Scottish and English Security Guards and the Moonlight Dip!

I’d been working nights as was usual, guarding the old Victoria Station hotel on Milton Street in Nottingham that was being refurbished, along with my colleague ‘Mad’ Mick, for about a month.

We had suffered with the antics of drinkers coming out of the nightclubs in the early hours, and the client had added an extra guard.

Control sent us Andrew, thus making up The Irishman, Mick, the Scotsman Andrew, and the Englishman, me.

The assignment instructions required one officer out of the security cabin at all times, and inside patrolling the building.

Another patrolling the frontage and one in the cabin at all times.

This particular night, it was my turn to be based in the porta-cabin with the RT, Andrew to patrol the front of the the site.

Mick had gone into the building on patrol, and we had agreed he was to return to the cabin at 1100hrs, to swap with Andrew. By 1115hrs, with no response to my calls to him on the RT, I informed control, and Andrew went inside to check on Mick’s status.

Half an hour later, no contact with either officer, I asked for back-up from control. (None available)

Now I was in a dilemma! If I left the frontage to go in and search, I’d leave all the equipment and tools at risk, if I called the police, control would not be happy… As I pondered my response, Andrew turned up, telling me that Mick was in the swimming pool in the basement, having a whale of a time.

So I thought, (bravely) it was my duty as site supervisor, to fetch him out and bollock him.

I told Andrew to stay at the front and keep his RT on, and I wended my way down through the maze of narrow stairs to the newly built heated swimmng pool.

I found a broadly smiling Mick getting back into his uniform after his moonlight swim. I stood staring straight ahead at his belt buckle which was at my chin level (He was a big lad) and pretended to tell him off.

The RT burst into life. It was Andrew, informing us that the Night Manager had just turned up!

At that precise time, a loud crack was heard from the cellar at the back near where the train lines ran.

I informed Andrew on the RT that we were going to take a look.

Mick and I went to investigate, we saw steam as we approached the door to that cellar, I tested the door for heat with the back of my hand, then gingerly opened the door… to be confronted by three balaclava wearing intruders who had just broken through into the cellar, bursting some hot water pipes en route.

Gulp, phwert!

Whether we were more surprised or they were, I cannot say.

Mick was struggling with one of the men as I got a clout on the head with something hard, a bar of some kind I think it was, then thank heavens Andrew and the Night Manager arrived on the scene, quickly followed by the police with a dog.

One of the very few times we were actually able to assist in the capture of any criminals.

I had to refuse the kind offer from the ambulance man to take me in for a quick check-up as the client was en-route and was not pleased apparently the Night Manager told me?

We came out of it with flying colours, and Mick and Andrew each got a commendation from the Chief Constable. (Why not I? I’ll never know!)

I hate to think what the outcome might have been if Mick hadn’t taken his moonlight dip!

More tales of security Woes to follow…

Inchcock Today Thr 22 Jan 15

Up at 0400hrs, WC’d and tried to remember dreams but no luck.

Started laptop and made a cuppa and took my medications.

The arthritis and angina were no worse this morning, thankfully, but the haemorrhoids had been bleeding again. Tsk!

Finished off yesterdays diary and posted it, then the innards started again a-rumbling – oh dear please not again! Oh yes indeed – four visits in three hours… Tsk!

Started working on an idea that Mike Steeden gave me for a post – but could not concentrate enough to get it right and gave up.

Then the sneezing and coughing started. That reminded me of Sister Jane being poorly so phoned her to see how she was – a little better gladly. Her hubby Pete has done me a wide photograph from Trent Bridge to use as a header later bless him.

Forced missen to gerrup and have me ablutions and got ready to take a walk with me stuff to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop in Sherwood and then bus to town, tram out to Bulwell and see if any of the shops has me blackcurrant ice-cream lollies in stock.

More than ever I appreciate me pensioners free bus-pass.

I set off and as turned the corner of the street on me walk to Sherwood the sky looked threatening a tad – it was gone 1200hrs and still dark?

Onward to the Hospice shop, and dropped me bits off for em.

Then out to the bus-stop (Even had a look to see if I might find me zip end that flew off there yesterday – no) Not that I could have done owt with it if I had…

The Nottingham Hospice shop is next to the one on the corner with the scaffolding, and my Detention centre… sorry, I mean Dentists is to the immediate left.

As I was taking the picture the bus in it gave me a fright as it belted passed. Hehe. I’m amazed the photo wasn’t blurred?

When my bus came it wasn’t anywhere near as full as the one yesterday thankfully. Mind you two teachers with about 15 ankle snappers got on at the next bus-stop and all piled upstairs.

I got off at Victoria Centre and had a poddle to take some photographs of the ‘Bling’ in the Jewellery shop window in Trinity Square for the TFZ gals.

Then walked down to the Slab Square to catch a Tram to Bulwell on my mission to find me favourite iced lollies.

The lady with the white hair in the photo conducted a short confab with me, she turned to me as the camera flashed and said: “Why did you take that?”

“For my cyber-friends to show them the new trams” I answered.

“Huh!” she quipped and that was the end of that conversation?

I arrived at Bulwell station and alighted avoiding the mobility scooter, two prams, 4-wheeled shopping trolley and step-ladder bearing geezer with the painful adoption of agility on my part I thought.

Walked to the bridge over the Leen and took a photo of the only few Mallards there were at the shallow end, there was a Coot with them today. Not too good a photo cause they were far away and I had to use full zoom on the new camera.

I poddled through where the non-working wishing well was (Say that when you’ve had a few – hehe) in a little patch sectioned off in memory of some councillor or other and at first was amazed to the flowers in full bloom in it?

As I took the photograph I realised they were artificial ones – Tsk!

Had a walk around the shops, Fulton’s, Heron, Iceland and Farm Foods but none of them had any of me lollies in stock. Huh!

Got the bus back to Carrington and WC’d, laptop on and made a cuppa and took me medications.

Surprisingly few people on the bus?

The cough still there and the gurgling from me innards seemed to have returned for another bout of ‘Let’s Annoy Inchcock Againism’. The piles have stopped bleeding but are a tad painful – but the arthritis was fair, angina bothersome.

Had a bacon cob (Microwaveable of course) cuppa and yoghurt for nosh – but couldn’t find the appetite to eat it all – and that ain’t me…

Did some facebooking between passings of wind, visitations to the porcelain, coughing and gasping for breath with chest pains and the occasional sneeze thrown in here and there.

In the event of me not posting owt fer a while you can take it I’ve kicked-the-bucket – but I’m in no rush like… blimey coughing agen now. Double Tsk!

Ode from Inchcock – In which he lost the plot somewhat the Clot!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 20th Jan 2015 – Arthur Itis and Anne Gyna in attendance

Up at 0400hrs – recalled bits of my dreams:

Two women in Victorian clothes smoking pipes were shouting at me at a desk with an ink well and quill on it… – In a ditch full of fast moving water, trying to catch a plastic duck with a toasting fork? – Trying to climb into an Austin A40 car 1950’s model, but kept falling out onto a zebra crossing that smelt of soap powder, I had a Davey Crockett hat on… but why?

I prepared the creams in readiness for the bleeding from the rear end and checked while I was at it on me stocks of medications just in case the lousy weather continues like yer know worra mean?

The cough was persisting still this morning… afternoon and night! Tsketh!

WC’d and applied the creams, had a scrub-up and shave then did some Facebooking.

After a while I thought about going out and decided to have a little walk to Asda on Hyson Green for some bits, but I’d call in the launderette to see Big John on the way.

The sky might have looked nice and pretty but it were damnably cold as I turned towards the cut-through to Mansfield Road.!

As I arrived at the launderette Big John was coming out for a fag.

We had a natter and he asked if I wanted to get a lift with him to Asda. I said thanks I’ll meet him at Asda if that’s alright and scrounge a lift home with the heavy bags? No problem. I needed to keep the knees and ankles going to keep Arthur Itis at bay, so had a slow hobble to Asda.

Said cheerio see you later to Big John and having gone about twenty yards down the road the first Nottingham Pavement Cyclist of the day nearly got me.

I tooketh a photo of her but I don’t think was even aware that I was there at all.

Onward I plodded and when I reached the college fencing on Mansfield Road I could not help but admire the shoots coming through on the bushes and trees as they fought their way through the bars into the sunlight.

This despite their being cut back drastically by the council a few weeks ago – they were now ready for any pavement cyclist or inattentive walker with a fair chance of poking them in the eyes. Hehehe!

It’s not a good photo, but many of the buds were already through with some of them starting to open?

And here we are with -5c temperatures… amazing.

The sun kept coming out and in strongly – I think that might have been why the gentleman in BMW didn’t see me at the pedestrian crossing on Sherwood Rise, and was most likely not even aware that he’d nearly clobbered me? Huh!

Over the road and around the corner onto Gregory Boulevard and another cyclist nearly got me – to quick for me to get me camera out in time, so I took photograph of the Forest Recreation Ground while I had the camera out.

I’ve just noticed there are no travelling cars in this photograph and pleased with how it came out, anyone would think the place of idylic peaceful pleasant and a desirable place to live in – Mmmm?

I pressed to the end of the road and turned right towards the Asda outlet – where another cyclist did his best to get me. Gits!

I had a good slow amble around the store starting with the non-foods section to look at the shoes they were offering for sale – Crap is the description that came to mind.

I poddled up and down every aisle in the place – and the trolley was getting slowly filled with stuff I did not really need, more just sort of fancied. At least if the weather does o bad now I’ll survive a while without going out. Hehe!

A good 40 minutes later I was at the checkout. And boy had I spent? Yes… indeed I had: £51.86 that’s USD $78.74 – AUD $96.10 – CAD $95.10 – JPY ¥9319.64!

Big John loaded the three bags into the boot of his car for me and gave me a lift home.

As we came out of the car park I saw something I’ve never seen before in real life anyway only in DVDs and photographs like – an Aston Martin car.

Shame about it being on bricks and the wheels having been nicked – Nottingham eh! Huh!

As we drove down Gregory Boulevard i took a picture through the windscreen of Big John’s car.

Hardly anyone around I noticed odd that.

The area was about two hundred yards from the wheel-less Aston Martin car, and the school on the left was fire-bombed during the last riots.

Just thought I’d mention it like.

John dropped me off at home bless his cotton socks, thanked him and gave him a few nibbles to eat and off he went.

I got in and spent a good while encouraging things at the porcelain.

Then started to put away the stuff wot I’d bought – good heavens I thought why did I get all this? Bitter orange drinks, cooked beetroot, bleach, BBQ sauce, deodorant, cheese sauce, washing-up liquid, antiseptic disinfectant, cocktail sausages, min franks, microwaveable Ribs, Gotowana, yoghurt, nibbles for the nurses, bacon cobs, mousse, cheapo cakes, biscuits, Scott’s porridge oats just to mention some – and even a DVD Liam Neelson in ‘A walk among the Tombstones’! Well it was on offer.

I saw they had Nicolas Cage’s latest DVD ‘Left Behind’ – but David Saxon told me he fell asleep watching it, so I opted for Liam’s Tombstones instead like.

I had the last piece of me pork pie with some bread and started this diary.

Passed wind a few seconds ago – involuntary like wot we older folk do now and then… Phwoar blimey!!!

NHS Recommended Breakfast for Inchcock

The NHS recommended Breakfast cereal for Inchcock.

Inchcock Today: Saturday 17th January 2015

Oh dear… woke up several times during the night with the rumbling innards and rear passage giving me bother. Huh!

A funny wot I dun and captioned: “Someone really ought to wake him up know!”

Arose (yet again) to visit the porcelain around 0315hrs and decided to give up and started the laptop to finish and post yesterday’s Dairy and begin this one.

The dreams I’d had couldn’t be recalled at all this morning but know I’d had them and they were frustrating in nature.

WC.

The innards are rumbling and bubbling still – took some bi-carb with me usual medications. Still, the arthritis and angina are not being too awkward anyway… yet. Hehe! What I’m laughing at I’m not sure?

Did some graphicalistioning on Coreldraw while it let me.

Many visits to the porcelain today, the innards are churning and a tad uncomfortable, two really close shaves up to now – not sure whether to risk going out or not yet… might just have a wander around locally if the yobs ain’t around. Or not?

Carried on with me graphicalisationing, dun some funny ones for Facebook Troll Free Zone gals and lad’s in mind.

Oh dear… just got back from another urgently needing attention message wot I got from me rumbling grumbling stabbing innards – no faux-pars though.

Still not sure if I should risk a poddle out?

I can hear emergency vehicle klaxons nearby – but I’m not going out to have a nosey this time.

At least the BT internet seems to be going alright, although I may regret saying that now that I’ve said that?

Bloomin’ ‘eck, another visit to the bog! Not good this.

Had an email from Nottingham City Council warning me of bad weather coming.

The cough now returned and stayed with me all day – Tsk!

After an hour or so the burbling and gurgling seemed to be settling, so I decided a walk into town might be okay. (What a plonker!)

Got a wash up and set off on me walk.

The traffic at the lights on Hucknall Road was at a standstill.

Horns a peeping and hooting as they jockeyed for position.

It freed up a lot further on near the traffic island and I took a photo because the sky looked very clear compared with the last few days.

I suppose it’s the wintry weather on its way that I was warned about?

A little bit further up the road, I espied my first piece of Nottingham Street Art on the pavement yet again. I wondered if it was the same culprit as the other day as it was spotted roughly in the same area as was that dog poo?

I pressed on over the hill on Mansfield Road and down the other side towards the City Centre.

A block of six retail outlets on the other side of the road near the Huntingdon Street junction traffic lights I saw had only one business open, the other had closed down.

It was an Art Gallery outlet.

Of all the things I thought.

There has been take-away food, Book shops, Butchers, Estate Agents, Hair dressers, Adult entertainment suppliers and Ladies nail shop but all have failed and gone broke or got out quickly in that row of shops over the last year or so. How can an Art Gallery expect to make it pay?

A few hundred yards further down the road the first pavement cyclist came passed me. Again I only just caught him with me camera.

Then I turned to continue on me walk and nearly tripped and did a ‘Whoopsidangleplop’ over one of the uneven pavement slabs.

Undaunted, after using a few well chosen descriptive words I limped into the Victoria bus station and through into the Victoria Shopping Centre (Mall).

A gurgling from within and severe involuntary passing of wind encouraged me to get to the public toilets ASAP!

Phew… made it in time.

I came out and looked for some ‘Bing’ ‘Pearls’ and ladies fashion items, anything that might interest the girls from Canada, America and Australia on Facebook to take photographs of.

I got six that might interest them. The one of the fish here I put in the diary because I couldn’t believe the prices of the 2.5″ glass fish on sale. £60 (AUD $110.44 – USD $90.86 – CAD $ 108.92) each! Mind you they were probably not glass, something else more expensive?

I poddled down the ground floor and popped into Tesco Metro and got some Cox’s apples, Cooked crispy bacon and bread.

When I departed onto Milton Street, between the Poundland and Waitrose shops I espied another piece of Nottingham Street Art.

It doesn’t show very well in the photo, but it was semi-liquid and smelled of curry to me.

Not bad for early afternoon.

I took some photo’s of a jewellery shop window for the girls and went down to the bus-stop and caught one back to the flea-pit.

I sneaked some seed to the pigeons and tool a photo of em.

Walked home and rushed to the WC.

The top of the tap on the sink has split open.

No idea how to mend it. Tsk!

Put me bits away and depression overcame me.

Later I started this diary after having to restart the laptop to get Coreldraw to work.

Coughing painfully well as I pass wind, I did some graphics.

Tonight I plan to have me microwaveable Potato Gratin, bacon and some bread. Or bearing mind me innards… should I?

I did, and it wer lovely.

Paid the price with the usual painful getting up and down to tend to the calls to the porcelain throughout the night. Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Wed 14th January 2015

Up at 0235hrs – WC.

No memories of me dreams although I can feel them in a way – if that makes sense?

I was taking the card out of the camera and whallop the light bulb blew and died – I thought I might have croaked as well at first and I accidentally took a photo.

My first task was to replace that. Got the spare bulb then step-ladder and painfully mounted them and managed to changed the bulb without to much kerfuffle… pain yes.

The new style bulb is not very strong, must get a stronger one when I’m out later today in Derby.

Made a cuppa and got the laptop started.

Worked on graphics for later and did some facebooking again.

WC (Another close call).

Thought about the things I’ve to do today: Get light bulbs, call to see about camera, get me hearing-aid batteries, take me library book back, go to Derby to feed the mallards… there’s summat else I’m sure about… oh yes, collect me prescription from the GP… still summat else though…

WC.

Titivated missen and set out on my walk to the doctors GP surgery, took some nibbles for the GP reception gals and the chemist gals but… whatta-shocka. I didn’t realise just how severe the frost had been last night. Many area that had not had the sun reach them were treacherous to walk on.

I nearly did a ‘Whoopsidangleflop’ at the first corner.

Arrived okay with care and got my prescription from the gals and set off for the Chemists to get it filled, it was only some extra Phorpain gel and Codeine Phosphate 30g. But I was so glad to get them in now in case the weather does another nasty. The girls appreciated their nibbles. (I could have worded that better?)

I left and crossed the road to walk down to the Chemist and as I was passing the large Peugeot dealership every single car on show, and there must be at least 200 of them was well and truly frosted over… a job there for someone I thought. (Secretly trying to contain the smug thought that it wouldn’t be me nowadays… Hehehe!)

I got to the Chemist and they soon sorted me out with medications and accepted with glee the nibbles I gave them in thanks. (That’s better wording?)

I did notice some shaving foam and gels in the tiniest aerosols I’ve ever seen on a display in the chemists.

On closer inspection while I waiting for me prescription to be filled I found that the asking price for these miniature aerosols from France was £3.95 ($6.03) A tad high I thought!

Off out and up along Mansfield Road to the City Centre.

On nearing the Cemetery, the same spot where I’ve noticed many pieces of Nottingham Street Art over the last couple of weeks including drunks regurgitated curries, the vandalised electricity box and the decoratively placed empty beer and wine bottles and – blow me down with a feather duster – there was another!

This time it was of the Nottingham Canine owners variety. Prettily arranged along the pavement and no paw marks on the frost either. But it was still freshly steaming!

I plodded on to the bus station completely forgetting to call into the hardware store for me bulbs. Tsk!

Never mind said I to myself – I’ll get them in Derby.

Got to the bus station and was on a bus to Derby and travelling within a couple of minutes – although the Red Arrow service uses motorway buses that annoy Arthur Itis, as you have to climb several steep steps to mount the bus. An elderly couple in front of me struggled too and I made a funny, something about “They don’t think about us old un’s struggling do they?” with a cheery smile – The look of contempt accompanied by an obviously well practised sneer worthy of HRH herself that I received back ensured I said no more to them during the 38 minute journey.

I made sure no contact was made with the Grumpies as I alighted from the bus in Derby.

I went straight to the riverside and fed the pigeons. Again for some reason the Mallards were absent? Hundreds of seagulls, a few Canada geese and few hundred pigeons – but no mallards?

I assume the white snail-like object in the photo was a white pigeon or seagull landing? It looks like it has the same colour feet as the other pigeons. Perhaps an alien slug landing? Any ideas please? I didn’t notice it when I took the picture.

Then as I started to walk to the Eagle Centre to see if they had any cooked pork – the heavens opened.

In the market there were even more stalls empty today. So sad.

I remembered to call at one and get me bulb replacement. The chap sold me some that were the equivalent to the old 150 watt bulbs. (He says) £3.75 ($5.71) each. The last bulb I bought cost 50p (76c)! It was a while ago mind.

I plodded up to the butcher that sells the cooked joints and a nice looking piece of pork for £3.

On the way back through the market to the bus station I had look at some caps on a stall, but none of them were priced – so I moved on.

I espied some crossword books on sale at 2 for £1.50 – had a peruse and found they were my sort (Not too hard at all) so bought a couple.

Again as soon as I got on the bus it was off. I settled in and had a look at the first crossword in me book and spent half an hour on it – only got about a third of the the answers. Huh! I’ll keep it in me bag so it’s handy on bus trips. Mind you I still lost me last one somehow.

As we neared Wollaton on the bus I took a photo of some shops near the traffic island.

The ones on the left and right were closed down. Not many vehicles in the car park, another sad photo for the records.

When I got into town it wor a bit of a job and painful getting down the steps of the bus.

I must remember to go the the other bus station at Broad Marsh bus station next time – it’s a fair further walk to get to it and the bus takes over twice as long as the Red Arrow to get to Derby because it takes the scenic route through the villages – but as long as I’m not in a rush I’ll catch that next time to please Arthur Itis.

Caught a bus back to Carrington and went in the co-op to get the bread I forgot to get earlier.

Some apprentice yobs were again lurking drinking and sat on the bench in the cut-through, so I took the longer route passed St Johns Churchyard.

And again, there were no persons letting their dogs crap in the graveyard again! Good that! Because it is a lovely place and looked after well.

Got in the flea-pit, WC’d, made a flask of tea and started the laptop – many of the keys seem to be sticking?

Well, I got the light bulbs, got me prescription from the GP, filled it at the chemists, forgot about the camera, forgot about me hearing-aid batteries, forgot to take me library book back, went to feed the mallards but they weren’t there… how did I know this? When I emptied me bag I found the reminder list I’d made but forgot I’d taken with me… Tsk!

Had big nosh of sliced pork loin instant potatoes with cheese and bread thins.

Tried to read me book but kept nodding off despite enjoying the book so gave up and snuggled down.

Then took several hours to actually get to sleep!

Inchcock Today: Mon 12th January 2015

What a night of dreams!

In one I was out in the wild countryside in storms… trying to drive a tractor then a bus full of people… found myself on foot trying to cross fast moving water in a ditch… couldn’t get through it although it seemed only a few inches deep? Then I was on a piece of high land in a flood… too scared to go into the dirty fast moving water I was calling for help through a rolled up newspaper as the rain and lightning persisted? Found myself lying in a ditch minus my left leg? … I was eating my hearing aids with a drink of bleach?

That must have have been my last dream because the others I can sense their panic giving nature but no details.

Up to the WC about 0300hrs.

Laptop started, drink of spring water, passed wind and rushed back to the WC. (Close call this one)

Got me posting done to the League of Mental Men site, then started graphics for the third post in me series about the Zimmer Frame Squeaks. Took a few hours over this.

Took me medications and pondered on the tasks I have to do today.

Got some advice on covert cameras from cyber friends yesterday. I’m a bit busy with things to tend to, but will look into the ideas given me. Some good ones too.

Spit polished scrubbed and creamed myself, took a look outside and saw the rain and wind a-blowing and decided to catch the bus instead of walking today.

Caught the bus into town then another out to the Queens Medical Centre (Much praise and thanks for the senior citizens bus-pass again).

**Well at least 50% of the pedestrians on Market Street managed to stay on the pavement!**

Just walking from one bus-stop to another three cyclist belted passed me on the pavement – Grrrr!

I took two photographs from the shelter and dryness of the bus through the window – through the window of the bus I was on not the a bus through the window… I’ve lost this, I’ll move on sorry.

The first one I thought typified the pedestrian of Nottingham and their habit, or even stubborn insistence on walking in the roadway and not on the pavements! Bless their cotton socks.

The second was supposed to be of the Gambling Casino but didn’t show up too well. Tsk!

The bus got me to the Queens Medical centre in no time at all… I thanked the driver James Hunt as I alighted the bus at the QMC.

As I was walking into the building I espied the poor motorists queuing for the car-park below again.

I even remembered that due to my having misplaced (Lost) me Anticoagulation Record Card (Again!) to go up to the forth floor and get another replacement.

They were very kind and didn’t get onto me at all (Much). Well, they did give me their now infamous glare that said “The silly bugger again!” I think it’s inbred in them after my forgetting and losing me card so often. I can’t blame em at all.

As I came down to the corridor afterwards (I managed the stair rather well I thought today. WordPress Warning! -Lie mode detected!)

I spotted they have a small ladies attire/clothing shop in operation on B floor and very reasonable prices too.

The change machine at the bank on the same floor had been vandalised though. Tsk!

Picked up a free Metro newspaper and onward to the haematology department took me ticket and sat in the queue reading it and filled in me form. My number was called within an hour and I got in to have me INR Warfarin level test done – and a jolly good chin-wag with the nurses who accepted me bag of nibbles with great glee.

As I left a little cheered, the rain had really started to poureth down.

Caught a bus into town and walked down into the square remembering to call at the bank to confirm me insurance had gone through. Saw the same chap as last time so got it confirmed within minutes.

Then off to the Chinese food shop nd got a bag of original seaweed and a bag of a new type I’d not seen before.

**Gloom descends in Nottingham. Nothing new at all there then! Hehehe!**

Then up to the Boots opticians here me new varifocals were ready and had yet another good chin-wag with the very comely lady indeed who looked after me and found time for a laugh at the same time bless her muchly.

Gloomy weather as I approached the slab square, but the rain was only light now.

More cylcists on the pavements as I went up King Street.

I paid a visit to the Jewellery shop window and took a photo of another of the masks in the window display to show the TFZ gals on Facebook. There was a price tag on it, but bent around so I couldn’t make out what it was.

I bit of a kerfuffle taking place at the… what do you call them, where ladies have their nails done – nail shop I suppose. The police went in and I moved on out of the way .

Down to the bus-stop and off I went back to Carrington.

Remembered to call at the GP and put request in for extra pain-killers and pain-gel. Pleased with misself there!

On the bus I thought how well I’d done to remember everything – huh! Realised I’d forgotten to take me walking stick to be repaired – to get me hearing-aid batteries – to take me library book back and to have a look in Currys at the covert cameras! (Double Tsk!).

**Closed today – damp and depression took hold for some reason?**

My temporary high spirits melted away.

As I was walking from the bus to the hovel I took a picture of the Pottery Shop not far from my decaying domicile.

I moved back to pig-sty and got to the WC in time.

Made a flask of tea and got started on this diary.

Inchcock Today: Sunday 11 January 2015

What a night – it felt like I was waking up every few minutes and sweating over a dream and needing to visit the porcelain each time – but can I remember any of them in detail? No! I hate that. And the Arthur Itis visited knees and feet weren’t too keen when I had to get up so often. Hehe!

About 0415hrs I remembered the new flask that was besides me, and tested out how warm the tea had kept in it by taking me medications a little early but still. Warm enough to help them down, just.

Laptop on and sent emails to sister Jane and brother-in-law Pete – then thought oh dear… what if their mobile phones give off a noise to alert them of the emails coming in at this time in the morning? Whoops, in trouble now…?

The new cheapo Tartan pyjama bottoms were wonderfully warm and at £3 one can’t complain – well one could but one wouldn’t be justified in doing so.

Spent a good few hours doing graphics and facebooking.

Then got myself ready for another walk out in the wind.

Set off the wind gin was strong but not cold with it, bit unnatural really.

When I got to the church I decided not to go to town, but have walk to Asda to see if they had any of their Potato Gratins I could purchase. And it’s not as far as walking to town – mind you thinking of it there is no bus service to come back on – so it made it further to walk than walking to town… if yer see worra mean like.

Walking down the side of the Forest recreation ground there were signs of wind damage.

Twigs even branches from the trees were scattered all over the pavements and in the gutters.

I didn’t see any signs of Nottingham Street Art anywhere today.

As I got to the tram-stop I observed an age-old traditional Nottingham trait in action. Despite there being very few people about being Sunday like, there were still two Nottinghamians walking down the middle of the road. On this occasion on the tram lines!

Bless em.

As I turned the corner a cycist on the pavement came towards me at speed and I honestly had to move or he would have hit me head-on?

To quick for me to get me Camera out though.

The Git!

I poddled on up the road to the Asda (Walmart) store and had a good wander around the store, starting with the clothing section.

Well, I had to test the camera didn’t I?

So took a photo of the brassier section for the girls on the Troll Free Zone to discuss and comment on. I (Honestly)

I espied a display of booties? Not sure if they were slippers or some other form of footwear but they looked warm so I can send the piccy to me Sister and see if she’s like me to get her a pair.

At this point I noticed a supervisor following me and giving me funny looks.

I smiled at her and got me camera out again and took a photo of a poster in the gents section of a motif printed T-shirt – it had a Gorilla wearing sunglasses (Shades they call them nowadays… I’m learning yer know), a toothpick in its mouth and the words ‘Chillin and Gorillin on the front? I’m not sure what this indicated?

Is Chillin and Gorillin a music group for style like Rap or something?

I spent a bit more time wandering round just to tease the lady monitoring my actions. Hehe!

Then much to surprise I came across some of the Tartan pyjama bottoms very much like the one’s I bought from Primark for £3 the other day – and Asda were selling them at £8 each! So if anyone is going to buy pyjama bottoms with a nice Scottish blue and red tartan that I assure you are nice and warm get them from Primark quick before they sell out!

I moved into the food section and thought to myself (I do a lot of that) it’s no wonder the ones I got are warm, I got the XXL size in error for the XL and they come up to about 2 inches below my nipples and are still bunched at me ankles. Cosy though all the same.

I got a pack of the Potato-Gratin, some tiny pots of mandarins in jelly and bisuits. Then I went to have a look at the bread on offer.

There was some wholemeal wraps on offer according to the sign £1.49 down to £1 a go, so I got a packet and made me way to pay for them.

When I got outside and the bags balanced I plodded back towards the hovel and sod me if another bloke on hte pavement on a bike came around the corner and nearly clobbered me!

Getting a bit fed-up with this now.

As I walked on two police cars belted passed blues and twos activated. then two fire tenders joined them going in the direction of me flea-pit.

That reminded me that I forgot to go back to the bank about checking that my insurance is valid?. I must go on the way back from the INR Warfarin level checks tomorrow at the Queens Medical Centre haematology!

As I came to the end of the Boulevard, sod me it happened again! A bloke and his son on bikes on the pavement this time. I shouted at them and got me camera out but they were well away by the time I took the photo.

I must investigate getting a covert camera that I can download to me old laptop. The one’s at Maplin’s only do Windows 7 and above… Tsk! That’s three photos of illegal activities (Riding a pushbike on the pavement) that could have been in me armoury to send to… the newspaper, the police? Someone who would take an interest in the dangers to elderly and not very mobile persons fears. Rant over, thank you.

I slipped the pigeons a few seeds on the way back to the dump. Maybe tomorrow I can get to feed me mallards… they have returned.

Got in WC’d.

As I was putting me things away I noticed that Asda had charged me £1.49 for the bread wraps?. I suppose I may have read the wrong ticket or something like that. Tsk!

The knees had not been so bad today, but as I was putting the stuff int fridge, me fingers froze and I dropped on of me mandarin in jelly pots – but I was lucky it didn’t break. I bent down to pick it up and a crack and pain emitted from me lower back. Sod-it I think I said.

Made me flask of tea, took me medications and settled to watched a DVD of the 1966 World Cup final.

Inchcock Today: Sun 4th/Mon 5th January 2015

Sunday 4th January 2015

What an odd dream, and I could remember some of it in detail this time:

I was stood in a massive luxurious gold plated bath with a sink inside it and a tool-box full of me medications and tools…

I could see myself putting the Haemorrhoid cream on my knees instead of backside, the Painphor cream in my backside instead of me arthritic knees and calling to myself to stop… but I couldn’t hear myself warning me and then started eating the toothpaste, tube and all?

Something about my being young again and cuddled sat on the knees of a large lady…

Suddenly I was in the town centre walking across the slab-square juggling me pots of medications and singing something while being dive bombed by Warfarin tablets dropped by mini Stuka aircraft?.

All through this particular dream I was watching rather than being and doing. if you know what I mean?

Ah-well. It was different to me usual dreams… I think?

Arose 0315hrs and WC’d dropping me long distance glasses into the porcelain and cursing a bit as I retrieved and cleansed them. Tut – good start that thought)

Then I went down to make a cuppa and took me medications.

Spent the rest of the day just doing blogging Facebook etc.

Monday 5th January 2015

0050hrs: Up and feeling so low for some reason.

WC.

The dream seemed to me like it had lasted so long. Full of frustrations from the past: I was working in a vast factory in security and was frustrated that I could not get every thing done in time… gatehouse duties, lorries in and out, checking loads, chasing around many units warehouses etc. All the buildings were made of planks of wood?

I felt depressed and frustrated for some reason this morning.

Went down to make a cuppa and boy did it feel cold downstairs! Found the heater in the front room had packed up – struggled to swap it with the one in the kitchen and that worked okay.

Brought me tea up and started the laptop – still a feeling of apprehension hung over me.

WC.

I started doing this dairy when the stomach started churning again and the ulcer gave me bother for the first time in ages. The knees and feet still bad.

Want to get the laundry done today. (Or do I?)

WC.

Made a cuppa and took me medications and Facebooked for a while.

This morning I found the laptop was allowing me to watch videos, only on YouTube mind, so I watched an old Law & Order UK episode.

I then got myself spit and polished and got the laundry things ready – two biggish bags-full again, and set off to the launderette.

Mandy was on duty and we managed a natter or two as I used one of the big machines that took all load of washing in one go – mistake that!

When it had stopped spinning and I went to take the togs out to put in the drier I found they were really wet. I mentioned this to Mandy and she said “Yes, the big machine spins at a slower speed that’s why.

I wish she’s told me that when I was putting the stuff on, ’cause it took £3.40 to get them dried. So by using the big machine instead of two smaller ones I’d saved 40p, but spent an extra £1.40 and an extra twenty minutes was needed to get em dry! Tsk!

Me chin needed shaving again by the time I got back to the flea-pit. (Joking there)

I put the togs away and set off for a walk into town, not a comfortable one but easier than the last walk anyway.

En-route I came across yet another piece of Nottingham Street-Art.

I walked through the Victoria centre so I could take a photo of the traffic from the high walkover. On the way through I was sorry to see they had blocked off one side of the walkway because someone was in difficulties of sort sort on the floor near an entrance to the shops and being tended by several folk while waiting for a paramedic.

*Nice mix of the old and new buildings?*

On the walk-through I took me photo, not many folk about now Christmas and New Year have been and gone.

The muggers, pickpockets, Big Issue sellers and shoplifters must be having a break now.

I went into the Pound Shop and got some microwaveable Sausage Butties then back into Victoria centre and had a walk around the Market. Very sad, so many stalls unoccupied. The same in Derby as well.

Then I popped into the cheapo sweet shop and got some chocolate bars, then into Tesco.

Got some bread and lemon yoghurt… and do you know, I found a pack of French Cream Horns had found it’s way into me basket. Amazing that was!

The old knees and feet were stinging a bit now.

So I slowly made be way to the bus-stop. Passing ‘House of Fraser’ store window and this is what saw and could not resist photographing.

I mean, the jeans on the right have got tears and holes in them and appear to have shrunk!

And those on the left look like they’ve not been ironed at all! And what’s the mouse looking thing near the crutch all about?

Fashion? Tsk!

As I exited the centre I spotted a driving-school car parked on the double-yellow lines. A Nissan Cube it were, and I thought could Mike Steeden be doing a second job here in Nottingham, cause I know he drives one yer know?

F1 driving school it were, I’ll ‘ave to look into this. Or not of course.

I poddled through Trinity Square and sneaked the pigeons some seed. I must stop doing this yer know – one day I’m going to get an instant £60 on-the-spot fine for it I’m sure.

I like the speeding three pigeons flying in at a belting pace from the right.

Down to the bus-stop and caught one straight away.

Some poor devil on the bus had a loud grating chesty cough that constantly burst out and annoyed some of the passengers? They were looking at her and tutting between each other.

Can you believe that? Poor woman, I gave her a smile as I got off the bus and said as loud as I could “Sorry your suffering with that horrible cough Madam, I do hope it eases for you, take care”. I hoped that might shame the moaners, but expect it had no effect at all on them.

Hobbled back to the dump and put me bit of food away.

WC’d.

Started the laptop and made a cup of good strong tea.

Then rubbed some Phorpain gel into me knees.

Set about updating this diary and AVG gave me various messages and needed a computer restart.

So I restarted it.

For me nosh I had sweet curried baked beans with sapocka loin and fresh bread, follows by two iced lollies, a yoghurt a lion bar and a pot of mousse. I can always tell when I’m getting down because my foos intake increases. Oh, and the two Fresh Cream French Horns that mysteriously appeared in me basket in Tesco – then took with me medications. Tsk!