Insular Inchy: Wednesday 27th November 2024

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06:00hrs: My body shook, and the sharp, tacky pains emitted from the blood-congealed, horribly painful rear rump, which contained .
I edged my bottie as carefully as I could manage; I could feel the cracking dried blood as I lifted my elephantine bellied body from the second-hand, c1968, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, microorganism-microbe producing, gungy, moth-eaten, beige-coloured, non-working, bacillus encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, c1968 recliner.

As I rose up on my wobbly legs, I trod on the tube and nearly fell back down onto the bum! Thank heavens I didn’t – I’d probably still be crying now if I did. The Haemorhhoids were so hurtful at their most painful today.
Last night, I forgot to ask the Carer to remove the Diabetic socks from me. Then, as I was removing the night pouch from the day pouch connection, I noticed that the urine colour was far too red! I recall thinking, “What next?” It didn’t take me long to find out…I’d left the tray with the dirty plate & cutlery (but no food on it; Hehehe!) on the Carer’s table from last night’s meal. I took the things into the kitchen, the pouch plates and trays, etc., to get them all washed, emptied and sorted. To find:
The water was so cold. Then again, being left running for about 12 hours, hot water taps tend to do that. I notice these things! This was about the 4th time this week! A little gnashing and s+wearing in a self-defamatory well followed. Then, I felt the blood trickling down my inner legs as Harold’s Haemmorrids flowed freely. By the time I’d cleaned the plates and sorted the catheter pouch out, there was a blood-red puddle on the kitchenette floor, via the rear end piles, down the legs and feet, and had got into the slippers. Finding the words to describe how I felt gives me vent to using naughty language… but I’ll not do so.
I painfully manoeuvred my way to the wet room, now requiring the use of the .
After a near standard other than its great weight, first Constipation Conrad torpedo evacuation – Trotsky Terence followed up immediately after, with two spurts of mushy-spraying-all-over & making a right mess to clean up. But the thing was, another first… well, second really; The torpedo was dark brown, the first wet-mode burst was almost red, and the second splattering was Karki coloured! I was tempted to take a snap to show the Doctor. 
I started to strip off to get the Heammorrhoids cleaned and creamed and realised that no hot water was available. After another short burst of frustrating language and self-berating, still in pain, I went to the kitchen, thinking I could put on some saucepans of water to heat up and use…
!!! I remembered that the cooker had broken and could not be used to heat anything! The curses I used grew a little nastier now! So, I used the kettle and the slow cooker to get some hot water to clean up and carry out the needed medicalisationings.
I began to try to sort out the haemorrhoid problem for cleaning as the PPs were removed…
Joined in with Harold, spouting blood. This cannot be happening, surely?
Every single day – disasters, failures, errors!
And it wasn’t over yet…
I pride myself on being more pain-tolerant than most, having been thrown in the Canal as a youngster, being shot twice, a heart attack, and having had Peripheral Neuropathy. A duodenal ulcer, & been mugged. On the same day in 1966, I suffered a DC and then, an hour later, an AC electric shock. Then, I had a stroke. So, all these things helped me learn to cope a little easier. But today, Harold’s Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies Fungal Lesion bleeding at the same time, then Toothache Tiffany kicked off – combined with so many out-and-out , Accifauxpas, cock-ups, mistakes and a belated appearance from , I felt that I struggled to cope as well as usual.
But it wasn’t over yet!

I did suffer with fetching hot water to and from the kitchen, but at least I avoided an Accifauxpa of dropping any.
Smug-Mode, almost Adopted – but I thought it best not to!

Carer Richard arrived as I made a brew of Glengettie tea, which was when my first of the day arrived. I think I did a lot of waffling, but I am unsure. I forgot to ask Richard to take off my socks for me. Minutes later, a carer and the NHS district nurse arrived. Nice!

The Carer departed to come back later and left me with the nurse. No complaints here! Embarrassingly, she checked Little Inchies fungal lesion, then Harold’s Haemorrhoids. I think I explained that I’d cleaned them up, but she was not impressed. She is going to order two new creams for me to use. She was in a rush, and I can’t remember what she told me about which cream was for which ailment now. Grumph!

I finally got on the computer. I’m miles behind again.

On the right, I took three shots this morning before finding the hot water tap in the kitchenette had run cold. But it didn’t bother me, naturally… I suppose one could say I’m such a happy-go-lucky, cheerful bundle of joy, a petite young scallywag.
On the other hand, if I have another day like today, who can say? Sob!
The rain came down a little later. Not as much as t blood did at various times today; as I was writing this, I had a monster -sneeze. Now, I’ve a bloody nose! K
nowing how affectionate, supportive and jealous my selection of ailments are to each other, I was not in the least bit surprised when, an hour later, I dunked an LU cookie in a mug of tea… it took ages to stop the tooth bleeding.

I suppose I’m just lucky?

After the next Carer arrived, Carer Kara came to see me. As if to prove if I had a seizure when Richard called or not, I found the morning tablets box filed on the Carer’s desk. I could not remember if I’d taken some this morning or had missed yesterday morning’s dosage?
As I thought hours ago, what’s next?

Wholemeal rolls, Stilton cheese, red onions, pork loin, & air-fried potatoes. With loads of sweet baby pickled beetroots.

I packed up early on the darned computer. So tired and fed up with the problems it was giving me. But could I sleep? No! Not a chance in Hell! I tried the hospital bed, but the way the nurses left it after changing the positions so often to try to get the catheter tube back in Little Inchie it was just too uncomfortable. I spent over an hour adjusting it to how I got it, which was restful and took hours, the last time the nurses had been, to get semi-sleep-on-able.
No chance tonight. So I returned to the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300 ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner. But had acquired a new back pain from all the trying out the bed, and depression took over.
Carer Promise did the last two calls. During this, I didn’t move out of the c1966, £300 charity shop bought second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus-breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner.
Just laid there feeling as if I’d been given a pep-pill and failing to fall asleep at all! I must have been trying to sleep for about 10 hours. Rising at 06:00hrs, feeling rather grotty, suffering  worse than ever.

HUMPH!

TTFN!
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Incapable Inchy: Tuesday 26th November 2024

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My being a long-time self-medicator,
A sprayer, a creamer & ointmentater,
I’ve got tips for others to endure…
Some use bicarb & talcum powder,
Aftershave is an excellent blood-stopper,
Some tips for the use of a catheter,
You’ll have troubles… oh, yer!
The urine in your external nocturnal pouch…

Will make your Carer say, ‘Ouch!’.
When the colour is browner & redder,

You can waste your time telling a nurse or Doctor,
Who’ll always say you must drink more water!
Don’t bother telling them you feel a bit peakier,
Or that you are drinking gallons of spring water,
They’ll just think, the old git Inchy has dementia,
Don’t say you’re running a temperature,
They think you can’t read the thermometer…
With your cataract and glaucoma,

If you mention your seizure disorder,
You’re
told, ‘Well, you’re getting older!’
I seeked help from the local Wicca Paganer,
She had no idea, but she was a fantastic pleasure,

Tube-out & in repeatedly pleased this pensioner,
Then the medics found I had parasitemia,
I broke the release valve on the catheter…

Started leaking more oftener,
Needing cleaning and a carpet washer,
My confidence began to falter,
But nothing did alter…
I’ve still got the same bloody catheter!
Pains, leaks by the plethora…
But I don’t complain… but I am a fibber!
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I couldn’t file any photos yesterday, yet this one of the sun dipping Monday night did. Amazing!
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Inchy
Ode – Mark Two

I was partly inspired when the old me returned after enjoying a few hours of freedom from a life that, as I grew older, more disabled, and feeble, I was not really enjoying anymore. It did feel as if I was drugged, it’s true, but did I care? No! It was great! It flowed out so smoothly, not very well, but smoothly. Those few hours were free of hassle, although nothing had changed other than My appreciation and reaction to things? Maybe Seizure Sandra did have a go at me? This experience ended about three hours ago, and after reading my notes to do the ode, the old doubts came on again, tormenting me. Did I? Would I? Why? How? Not possible, surely? Etc…

Anyway, here it is, unedited, mistakes and all.

Today, I admit and say…
Was neither this or that way,
I sensed little at all today…
My mind seemed so far away,
Seizure Sandra seemed to go astray,
Most difficulties seemed to go mentally,
I was out of it almost permanently,
Yet, it didn’t seem to bother me…
For most of the day, I responded salaciously,
I believe I showed signs of almost sagacity?
At one time, I thought someone had drugged me!
I’ve never had a day go so worry-free!
I couldn’t have given a toss, actually…
I seemed to be living somewhat sacrosanctly,
This afternoon, around a quarter to three,
I reclaimed my veracity suddenly…
Worries, fears, & frustrations returned instantly,
I went from the rare uncaring back into misery,
Gloomy, dubiously, with my mental tortuosity,
Is this how it is for the drunk and druggie?
If someone did Mickey Fin me, ostensibly?
I hope they do it again cause it did seem to me…
Admittedly, it only lasted temporarily…
For a few hours, it was a different Inchy,
Self-hatred gone, I felt a smidge of pomposity!

Or did I dream it all? No, no, no, I didn’t!

Mostly guesses with the photos today.
Last night’s sunset.

Different shades of the urine bag.

Waste bag; I have no idea why.
There must have been a reason for it?

Horrible tasteless rolls

I remember this: the laundry returned damp, and some of it was still wet! Hung them on the airer.

Evening mug of Glengettie.

Sunset.
The computer let me save them!

Found some notes that I wrote last night.
Can’t read a word of the scribble.
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TTFNsk

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Ignored Inchy: Monday 25th November 2024

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ODE FROM INCHY
AWAITING THE RETURN OF LOGICALITY
Which I think will not return to me,
Another loss, just like my sanity,

Hoping for improvement shows my inanity,
I prayed pleadingly to the almighty,
I don’t think he heard Inchy, not with certainty,
Then I tried Lucifer to free me from demonry,
But I guess these pleas were more delusionary,
They were for sure rather confusionary…
Sometimes I feel near-contented, jaunty…
Usually, when Odeing, that to me is not petty, 

For some reason, it is a lifegiving essentiality,
Even when the brain mangles my memory,
My computer bars graphics, & photography,
I hate violence, war and the Oligarchy,
I left the hot tap running; I did it twice today!
Suffer many bothersome mini-seizures daily,
With manifestations through my theopathy,
As one ages, words gain a new certainty…
I appreciate words, but not as easily…
Like, anonymity…obscurity, & uncertainty,
Invisibility, inscrutability, & anonymity,
Making decisions is complex, fuzzy, hazy,
Actioning finally taken often shows ethereality,
Making corrections, ridden with inner disunity,
Confusingly, words show a level of banality,
I have to treat specific memories sceptically…
Well, indeed, every memory or action doubtingly,
Look at the world, Putin, Starmer, Trumpery!
Complaining? Me? I’ve not got the temerity,
Although life can sometimes feel so tawdry,
It can be scaring, worrying, and depressingly,
Yet, at this moment, there’s a sign of glee
I’ve beef in black bean sauce & a mug of tea!
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Reluctantly, I stirred at 02:50hrs.
Fell asleep at 0255hrs.
Unintentionally, I stirred at 03:10hrs.
Fell asleep at 03:15hrs.

Jumped awake at 03:30hrs.
Lat pondering on a dream I’d just had that was not clear enough to recall in detail, but Grizelda was in there somewhere; the pain from the so rare involuntary movement in Little Inchies locality assured me that Grizelda was the topic of the dream. I think it was a pleasant one.

Fell asleep at 0420hrs. Tried to find Grizelda in the ether again. No luck, of course.
I woke with a jump at 04:40hrs.
Fell asleep at 05:45hrs…

I woke again around 06:00hrs and realised I needed to complete the ablutions before a carer arrived.
I carefully dismounted the bed. Little Inchy’s temporary expansion had disappeared, leaving a small amount of blood coming from the catheter tube inserted.

Not for the fainthearted!
I stripped off and put the nightwear in the laundry bag. Got a fresh catheter pouch holder, the slippers, and fresh Protection Pants, etc, ready for after the shower & shave, and medicationing duties were finalised. Took them with me into the wet room.
The first thing was to get my bottom down on the WC. The evacuation was a tacky-sticky, messy one. I did the few teeth I have left, causing, I’m afraid, to kick off. Then, possibly the most farcical event of the day. Having a shave. An everyday event, but not for Inchy. A first-ever here! While shaving, I’m sure I went into a few seizures of over 20 minutes or so. As I had supposedly finished shaving and rinsing off the foam and blood, it dawned on me that I had shaved only half of the face and neck! It’s like I go on auto-pilot… but as with the computer, where I get the majority of the seizures. I keep doing things while ‘under the grip of (sometimes), and I come to semi-awareness to find I’ve made a mess of everything I’ve done. But this is the first time it has happened in the wet room. I assume, anyway. So I had to reshave again. Bringing up the total number of cuts and knicks to a count of five.
: The usual routine was carried out, but the Catheter netting bag was not attached; too much genuflecting is not suitable for and upsets Dizzy Dennis, Arthur Itis, Cartilage Chloe & Carol, Bad-Balance-Barbara, and can trigger Tumble-over- or Trip-over-Trevor. 
, and . then rubbed in the Barrier Cream on Inchy’s-Bouncy-Belly, underneath the arms, on the forehead, lower arms and on the edges, and ,
and checked to make sure there were no more outbreaks of .

Then, I got the eyes and ears medicated. Next, I tackled the typically most painful medical sequences required daily. Little Inchies fungal cream applying!

This was the last job, as usual, in the wet room. Luckily, the pain does not bother me in the slightest bit. I just laugh it off and usually start singing a song or yodelling. Today, it was Frankie Vaughan’s Don’t Stop, Twist’… Argh!

was playing up again. Later, when I got on the computer, I gave the sparse teggies and gums a blast of £599.00 per 100 ml Toothache pain relief spray. Some effervescent paracetamols were added to the Bladder-demanding spring water bottles. I almost forgot to empty the nocturnal pouch. I then realised and stopped myself in time, as the Carer will need to confirm the colour with the NHS colour record chart/card. Carer Chloe arrived later and said it was a match with a classification of a seventh level. Ah, well!

SANDRA’s MINI-SEIZURES SHOWTIME STARTS!
As Carer Richard arrived, so did Sandra. I have no idea if he noticed my condition, and my recollections remain confusing. That’s how bad Sandra’s first attack was. This time, it was not so mini-either. Richard was here for a while, making his last night shift call. Thankfully, the blurriness and confusion had cleared by the time he left. But she gave me many more mini-blanks over the next four or five hours. My beloved DVT Anticoagulation Warfarin nurse, Hristina, arrived. And she could tell the difference in my responses… even if I couldn’t.
My memories are still a little vague, but I’m sure she mentioned me talking to the Doctor about the seizures. Hristina is a lovely gal♥

My other friend, Jenny, called me. After she’d read about the Milk Roll loaf not being delivered, she arrived at the flat with a loaf of bread from her freezer for me. Another Gem! ♥

I struggled with the computer (I still am now, Tuesday p.m.), but despite getting further behind, I am determined to get the photos on the blog. It’s hard work!
Aha, got some from, not many, from earlier in the day.
Unfortunately, only these two above.

SANDRA’s MINI-SEIZURES SHOWTIME RESTARTS!
Little & often. I did give up then. I sat down and tried to get some sleep, catching up. Huh!

The Carer called; I was half asleep after waking up, yet somehow knew I was coming out of another seizure.
Carer Promise took the washing down for me.

Afternoon delights in the sky

Bootiful!

Plenty of vehicles in today.

The last shot was as the sun was on its way down.
Well, it wasn’t the last, but it was the last one the computer would let me save to file today.

TTFNsk!
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