Dear Mr Inchcock,

It is unfortunately my duty to advise you that on your last visit to the haematology department on 26^th February 2015 your Warfarin doses were wrongly prescribed.

Here is the correct dosages: M2½ T2-W2-Th 21/2-Fri2½-St2-Su2.

In the event of your feeling dizzy or cutting yourself we advise you to call for assistance.

I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that this medication is used to treat blood clots, pulmonary embolus and deep vein thrombosis that you were diagnosed with by preventing blood clots forming in your flabby unattractive wrinkled decrepit body.

It helps to keep blood flowing smoothly in your body by decreasing the amount of certain substances (clotting proteins) in your blood.

I am aware of your hearing difficulties so had written the above in bold so you can read it easier.

Please contact me in return to confirm your understanding of the nature of your condition and position as soon as possible.

A reminder that in reply to your request for another home visit, I can arrange one under the strict condition that you keep your hands to yourself this time.

Yours Dr. Shirley Blamey MD.

Pugglethorpe Veterinary Surgery.

Dear Dr Blamey,

I have been suffering some funny turns and…. Klunk… thud!…..