At one time I thought life was Roses and Beer rather than wine,
And thought IPA, cider and Mansfield beer was just fine,
But I didn’t know where to draw the line,
I had to stop, the decision was mine.
Four days in bed sweating the mattress soaking wet,
I thought I’d never finish shaking, soaked in sweat,
Nightmares invaded for Five days, I’d not given up yet,
No one came to see me for a tête-à-tête.
Drinking partners who I thought were a mate,
Memories of dominoes, darts, angling and pub outing date,
Even these memories begin to dilate,
I began to wander what would be my fate.
Financially I was better off, that was for sure,
But oh dear the loneliness I had to endure,
I became committed to work, but felt insecure,
Then got made redundant went on a job-seeking tour,
Now I found myself lonely unhappy and poor.
Agency work for long hours and a pittance in pay,
Got a permanent job in Security one day,
Not a good idea looking back I must say,
80 hours a week for less than the hourly minimum pay!
But it was interesting work, I got bit by a dog and shot in the leg,
Thrown in a canal and hit over the head with a beer keg,
Attacked and tied up one night, the bosses didn’t give a smeg,
Got made redundant there too, without a nest-egg!
Then the ailments came thick and fast,
Arthur Itis, sticking reflux valve but they weren’t the last,
With a Duodenal ulcer and haemorrhoids I was harassed,
Then the ticker needed a new valve and me leg a plaster-cast.
The hernia was bad, got it repaired, but it didn’t last long,
The pain from me Angina, and bleeding lesion on me dong,
Then me lady-friend emigrated to Hong Kong,
I needed to know, what had I done wrong?
I’ve tried to me sociable and nice to the Hoi Polloi,
Not to nit-pick, I’ve been rather shy and coy,
Treated folk fair whether girl or boy I’d offer joy,
Tried not to deflate others or destroy,
Although I admit I’ve not been an alter-boy,
Not been educated, can’t tell you the capital of Illinois,
Never had fashion sense, I once wore corduroy,
I have to admit to being a little hobbledehoy,
Could I do with a drink now boy?
That I would really enjoy!