Monday 18th September 2017

0310hrs: I stirred in the £300 second-hand wobbly recliner, and simultaneously thought and was aware that I was doing the same thing, laid on the floor covered in mephitic straw in a barn, in Dickensian times? This thought lasted only a few seconds. Very odd!

I spotted the reminder notices I’d left for myself, and forced my way out of the recliner, and got the Health Checks done and took the medications.

Results today: Sys 132, Dia 61, Pulse 82, Temp 36.1, Weight 14.92. I was a little disappointed that the weight had not gone down at all, despite Incisor Suzie forcing me not to eat much at all? Sys and Dia both lowish this morning?

Got the average totals for last week from Excel. Looked about the same as usual to me, apart from the weight increase I mentioned, of course. Tsk!

Not the slightest sign of any Porcelain Throne activities needed. It’s been a while now. I considered taking a Senna, but Trotsky Terence has tricked me before! Haha!

I had a recheck that I had got all the things ready that would be needed today. Money for the bus, the bus times, Audio Booklet and appointment card etc.

The computer on and finished off the Monday diary. Then started this one off.

Checked the Emails, and WordPress reading and responding.

Facebooked for a while, not much time though, getting close to the ablutionising and departure time.

Had a super shower, and all things seemed to be calming down.

Haemorrhoid Harold had stopped bleeding and was stinging fare less now. ✓

Arthur Itis was very kind indeed! ✓

Even Hilda Hips had eased off! ✓

Reflux Roger, no bother at all! ✓

 No Shaky Steven’s, no Dizzy Dennis’s either! ✓

Hernia Harry, not bad at all! ✓

But, Anne Gyna and Duodenal Donald were backing up Incisor Tooth Suzie’s pains. ✕

And as yet, not Porcelain Throne session, for three days now? Oh, dear!

Feeling a lot better in myself now. I got ready and set off, taking the three sorted bin bags and dropped them down the chute at exactly 0800hrs.

Down in the lift, the shuddering lift with lights flickering and blinking. So much so, that I had the struggle to get today’s photographicalisation of the Mystery Blob that appeared about a week ago on the floor in there.

Testimony to the caring nature of our caretaker and his compassion for wildlife shows through in his not carefully cleaning the elevator’s floor for fear of harming the possibly Alien life-form, which has appeared and remained for the last week? Hehehe!

Set off using the collapsible walking stick, which is a little uncomfortable due to it being a  bit too long, by the time I reached the Obergruppenfurheresses empty shed, I stopped to collapse it and put it back in its bag. I noticed that the boarding, which has all been changed to a different colour. Has now had new signs attached to it, advertising the building company and Nottingham City Homes.

I pressed onto the end of the road and walked down Winchester Street Hill to the bus stop. Where a few moments later, I was joined by Newcastle Annie, bless her. We had a chinwag until her friend joined us and the bus arrived. We paid our £2 fares and were off on the way to town.

We were a little late arriving, due to the roadworks and temporary traffic lights.

The bus had to struggle through some very narrow gaps, but the driver did very well and manoeuvred the bus with aplomb and care.

As we turned down King Street, the driver had to jam the anchors on sharpishly.

I was stood up at the time waiting to get off at the terminus.

Unfortunately, I banged and bent my thumb backwards as I stopped my self-going over. Tsk!

Walking down into the City Centre Slab Square, Annie caught me up. She was going to the bookies to buy her Irish Lottery Tickets. I wished her all the best of luck and proceeded on my hobble to the Standard Hill climb to the  Audio Clinic.

On my limp up Standard Hill, I spotted what to me, is a new posh Cafe opened.

This area has the highest priced property in the hole of Nottingham. How do these places make it pay? I could not find the cost of this building, but the next one up was… wait for it… £165,000 pa! £25.38 per square Foot per annum! No wonder they have to

charge so much:

6oz Rump Steak, 6oz! Blimey, it wouldn’t fill the hole in my tooth! Hehe!

With burning painful feet, I arrived at the top of the hill and entered the Audio Clinic.

Two, not seen before receptionists on duty. One smiled and beckoned me towards her as soon as she spotted me. She took my appointment card, and validation booklet gave me back the both and told me to take a seat, which I did. I got out the crossword book. There is a new system in place now. A loudish ‘Ping’ kept coming over the PA system, and eventually, I worked out that it was. When it sounded, a message came on the screen on the wall. The name of a patient appeared, with the message, such as:  “Bernard Funkgibbon is about to be called.” Excellent idea, that.

My name came up in about ten minutes, and a young lady came appeared and escorted me to a treatment room. She was a Student doing her first full examinations, with a qualified Audiologist in attendance.

The session was thorough and in depth. The student gal did not follow my humour, but the trained woman was finding it hard not to laugh. Particularly, when they had to ask me what medications I was on, and what for. I did make them laugh! Hehe!

The test results showed that my hearing had only gotten a tiny bit worse since 2009. They mended my current hearing aids for me to make do with until the new ones are ready. Then set about doing the ear moulds for me. They even gave me some batteries, four packs of five, bless em!

I thanked them both, and they walked me back to the waiting room area and said for me to wait until the receptionist calls me with an appointment for me to collect them and have them fitted-up for me.

Minutes later the friendly receptionist called me over. She handed me back the booklet and an appointment slip. I have to collect and have the new aids fitted on Monday 16th October at 1130hrs, in four-weeks time. I thought it might have been longer.

I exited and took the scenic route back into town so I could pass the Nottingham Castle gates. But the sight of this Fothergill Watson designed building caught my eye much more than the gates did.

Isn’t it just magnificent!

On the short journey down Friar Lane into the City Slab Square. There were endless Nottingham Pavement Cyclists, lurking and racing about. This Herbert was busy stopping and talking to youths, in between his mad crazy cycling so close to folks, I felt sure he would hit someone. Tsk! Naughty Boy!

Into the Square. The sky was alternating between bright and murky, now.

Mark my words, when I had to mount a rather precipitous step, Arthur Itis let me know his displeasure at the back of the knee. Nearly always a sign of wet weather on the way when he does this.

Up Queen Street and caught the L9 bus back to the flats. Luckily I remembered I was not going to the apartments yet but to the dentist! Huh, clot! So I stayed on the bus and dropped off in Sherwood.

For a Monday, Mansfield Road looked busy today.

I meandered up, across the road and into the dentist’s torture chamber. Haha!

I told the Obergefrieteress receptionist my problem with Incisor Suzzies tooth. She looked on her computer and said that ‘My’ dentist was very busy and could not see me for two or three days. I’m afraid I blurted out in reply: “Well that’s no problem, I don’t like the man anyway, I’ll see anyone who can see to me!” She produced a print-out and handed it to me, after checking I could attend tomorrow at 1230hrs. I have the INR blood test at 1100hrs. At the surgery, but should be able to get back well in time, so I agreed.

When I looked at the paper later, my dentist is apparently Dr Vitish Patel; I am to be seen by Snehali Patel. His brother, perhaps? Oh, no, Snehali is a female name I think. Maybe his Sister then? I’d just got used to the three Polish dentists language as well. Now all of them have moved home. I wonder why.

I thanked the lady and departed and caught a number 40 bus back up the hill to my snug little flat. Where I got in and made a cuppa. Took the medications, did the Health Checks, wondered why I still, did not need the use of the Porcelain Throne and set about getting the new dates and times of appointments written in the book and onto the Google diary.

I deliberated over what to try and eat for a nosh that was not soup but would be safe for the tooth. After a while, I decided to risk the beef pie and some potatoes. But with tons of gravy (Not my most successful thing,  making successful Bisto)

I know). I intend to chop up the pie and potatoes tiny, to make a sort of mash, after soaking them in gravy. What do you think, a good idea?

The sky came over all threatening and very dark.

I put the light on in the front room, but it didn’t do much good. Huh!

1445hrs: Then started to update this diary, in between wee-wees. Still no movement from the rear end whatsoever, not even any sign of my being likely to need the Porcelain Throne yet? Maybe, when I’ve eaten the mashed pie and potatoes in gravy, things might develop in that area? Haha!

1700hrs: Got caught up to here with the post.

Got the oven on and checked the crock pot potatoes.

Checked the Emails, WordPress.

It went even darker outside again, and the rain came.

Had a wee-wee.

Then I made a reminder note for myself and hung it on the TV screen.

Saw blood on my protruding belly.

The mouth had filled with blood from Incisor Tooth Suzie.

Rinsed out and gargled with TCP – by gum, that stung a bit. As I was clearing up afterwards, I noted that the Use-by date on the TCP was Oct 2015!

What an idiot I am!

I got the meal sorted, chopped it all up on the plate and drenched it in gravy. For once, I got the gravy right. I used Bisto instant gravy, ¾ beef and ¼ caramelised.

I allowed it all to cool a little, then got it figested. Very palatable. Despite a few twinges from the tooth, it tasted right grand! The last banana was well ripe so no bother there, and the Lemon Meringue mousse was so light and fluffy to eat, there was no bother with eating that either.

I got washed and changed into fresh jammies and settled to read the Lenigrad book. Stopped a moment to ponder over the horror mankind brings on itself, and has done so ab inition, and I fell asleep.