Inchcock Today Fri 26 Feb 16

BusstopRain

Friday 26 February 2016

Up at 0335 hrs, wide awake and hobbling as rapidly as I could to the porcelain. The tender tingling pains from Little Inchy en route indicated that I had some medicationalising to do. I was right! Humph!

Still hating myself for missing yesterday’s Community Hut Meeting, I made a cuppa and took the medications.

Started to clear up the things on the draining board from making yesterday’s delectable meal; I dropped a glass saucepan lid, that hit the floor, bounced back up and cracked me on my arthritic knee, as it went down again and landed edge first on my corn – then rolled and settled under the wall heater. When I bent down to retrieve it, I hit my head on the corner of the heater, swore, and as I got up the back went into agonising spasms that left me in pain with it all day! But, thinking about it, I most likely deserved it for missing the meeting yesterday? Gawd, I feel so guilty about that!

Got the laptop on to finish Wednesday’s diary. During which, I received and responded to several calls to the porcelain; Oh dear!

I must get down to the Co-op store in Sherwood today and get some of their Blitz paper towels while they are on offer, two rolls for £2 at the moment. I have some in stock still, so to speak, but like to keep ahead of the game with these, because the usual price is around £1.50 each. They are marvellous for cleaning the bath with, and using as a first towelling off after having a bath. Saves me having to wash so many bath towels. Proper little housewife (Well, single male flat dweller), I’m now becoming now I’m in me flat like, aren’t I?

Went to make another cuppa and take an extra Codeine Phosphate 30g, and suddenly became fixated with should I have Vegemite or Marmite on my toast tonight?

I’m pretty sure I’m going a bit pottier than usual todayLosing it in a pretty big way, but it had to come, as my Dad used to say; “You’re not adequate enough to live a successful life, so make a good job of your death. Oh, and don’t take a wife!” I never did understand that?

Priorities seem to be getting moved about in my head? Perhaps the end is nigh?

Still, if it is time for my departure, there will be some benefits, oh yes!;

You can all, help yourself to my stock of Blitz Towel Rolls. (See later)

Then there will something for folk to remember me with, as they clean their toilet bowls and windows? Hehehe!

I managed to regain a modicum of sanity and started this diary off.

Checked the emails then did some Facebooking and much graphicationalising.

Hours later I got an enjoyable bath and readied the things and myself for the walk into Sherwood. I got one of the high-quality Asda two for £10 jeans on. Not much room in them, Little Inchy might complain later, Hehe!

Set off in the misleading sunshine, shivered and hobbled down to the shops on Mansfield Road in Sherwood.

Taking a short cut through though the leave lined streets I passed where the builders were building four new luxury homes, ‘Coming Soon’ the sign said.

Hardly a brick in sight yet. Plenty of wood, though?

Called in the haberdashery store and checked out their Throws available. I was after a larger and thicker one for me 1959 Leather old fashioned easy chair wot I fall asleep in every night.

I got one, a brown one that suited the job, £20, very warm too. And it hides the hole that’s appeared on the right arm of the chair and stains from where I spilt the wood dye when I was treating the walking stick to a bit of renovation, which turned out more expensive that I thought it would.

£7 for the wood dye for the walking stick then had to throw away a saucepan after dropping the can and some spilling into it, £106 for replacing the spectacles I broke when the chair arm collapsed, £15 for the first quilt, that was not big enough, £20 for the second quilt, Tsk!

Up the road to the Continental shop and got a half-loaf of Latvian Sweet and Sour Rye bread. (I’ll try almost owt nowadays?) It was made in Peterborough, Complaints address in Huddersfield and the company was registered in Berlin.

Further up the hill and got to the Co-op, and tried to get some of the Blitz towels on offer at £2 a two-pack. I couldn’t carry too many as I had the large Throw to carry. Not that this mattered, they had put them back to full price; £3.65! Swines! – But it’s my fault for not getting them earlier innit? Yes, guilty as charged!

I left empty handed, to the suspicious glances of the Security Guard. So, no Blitz towels for you to grab when I snuff it, sorry. You’ll all have to fight it out for who gets any of my four cameras then? Word of advice here, don’t fight for the small Canon one, the battery cover is broken. The big Canon and the Lumix are the best. The little Nikon one is nice too.

Got to the bus-stop to check if a bus was due, and had about 15 minutes to wait. I had a natter with a sweet old dear also waiting; I think she fancied me because we compared walking sticks? Hehe!

Then when the bus arrived and I got on, I left an unfortunate aroma behind as a little ‘plop’ of an escapage of wind came out as I mounted the bus.

Back at the flats and remembered the parcel for the lady next door that someone had left outside her door, that I took into the apartment for safe keeping. (The parcel, not the door). So I fetched it and knocked on her door and handed it to her.

Put the kettle on for a cuppa, and then got the new ‘Throw’ and tried it on the ailing 1959 Leather armchair in the living room.

Very snug and cosy! It looks messy, but that’s alright, I got it for its warmth, not cosmetic value.

Note how I’ve gone for a minimalist and easy to clean design? Bottled water, newspaper, pen, TV paper, footrest and walking stick all handily placed? Just thought I’d mention it like.

Set about getting the fodder ready. I was suddenly feeling a bit ‘done-in’ for some reason. Put a steak pie in the oven, beans in the saucepan and seasoned them, when they were both done, I added the last of the boiled spuds from yesterday. Some Irish Batch bread, that was so nice.

Rated this overall at 8.8/10. Well, I’d spoilt myself with the lamb stew and lamb knuckle over the last two days.

Sat down and that was basically, the end of the day, put the goggle box on and fell asleep within seconds!

Woke up in the dark. Forced myself into the bathroom for a titivation, ailment creaming and the use of the porcelain. Changed into my night attire and took the medications.

I made two slices of the Latvian Sweet and Sour Rye bread and covered them with Vegemite. Nice!

Back to the living room. Selected a couple of programmes to watch.

Fell asleep, woke up around 0115hrs laying on the carpet with the throw over me? Not the foggiest recollection of doing this? Stayed there. Zzzz…

Inchcock Today 25 Feb 16: Went on WordPress Premium – Damn it, I forgot Community hut meeting today!

Thursday 25 February 2016

Hard at work?

I stirred into life at around 0300hrs. Lay thinking about the dreams I’d had. Fell back asleep, woke up around 0600hrs and forced myself up and to the bathroom.

No hiatus’s in the ailment department, just coughing and sneezing as I passed almost life threatening emissions of wind.

Made a cuppa and took me medications, onto the laptop, and decided to upgrade my WordPress thingamabob to Premium.

A fat lot of good that did me! I expected the font list to appear in the editor, but no. I have to keep going into Appearance, Fonts and selecting a font from the miserable choice there each time, not knowing yet if this will affect the previous posts or not?No Dutch fonts in there anyway. 

No Dutch or Goudy fonts in there anyway. The font colours were the same, with an option to add Custom colours, where you have to use a colour wheel to pick the one you want, and when I do another post, you have to pick them all over again?

Maybe it’s just my lack of education preventing me from grasping things, but I feel so disappointed with this after paying out more dosh!

There is an option under the normal Text type box appeared, to select ‘Preformatted’, but I can’t find out what that means or is.

When I select it, the text comes out like this; Preformatted?

Tsk, huh! And Humph! Still, I’ve got more memory for storage to save me deleting any more of my graphics I suppose.

Cash and time spent just getting myself annoyed and frustrated with my lack of brainpower, computer programming and education. Help! Hehe!

I went back to the kitchen, made a cuppa, passed more wind and shot to the porcelain. Phwoar, nearly gassed missen! Hehe!

Back to finish making my cuppa, and saw how beautiful the view was; despite the temperature in the flat being only 55º F.

Then trapped my finger in the drawer as I closed it.

It had to be the finger I burnt yesterday in my culinary experimentations with the Lamb Stew, Huh!

Finished yesterday’s dairy off and got it posted.

Must get some Facebooking done, I didn’t get to do any yesterday with getting home so late from Sister Jane’s posh house.

1000hrs: I’ll do it now I think.

1035hrs: Facebooking finished.

Hurriedly carried out my constitutionals, ablutions and took a bath. Nothing pernicious found.

As I left the flat, I met Malcolm from next flat to one, and he said for me knock on his door when I return and he’ll have a look at the TV to see if he could sort out for it to show the CTTV in the flats entrance for me, bless him.

Got out just in time to catch the L9 bus to Arnold.

Dropped off on Front Street and did some unnecessary random shopping and spending again. Tsk!

High above the great clouds lingered once more in the pretty blue skies. I wondered how long they would last.

The Fulton food store had some bargains I could not reject or deny myself; Two lamb hocks for £2.99 well in date and baby carrots at 39p. 

I decided to have one of the lamb joints tonight and add the remaining bit of the minced lamb stew and some potatoes to it. Salivating at the thought I was, honestly.

I moved on, and nipped in a discount hardware shop and had a good meander through it. Buying, even more; A colander, stick on hooks, and a strainer.

Across the road, and up to Asda, calling in the Menswear section first. They had some jeans at two pairs for a tenner (£10), so I indulged myself and got some.

Then, I was off to the food sections and made for the bread department. Here, I did go overboard a scintilla: 6 Potato Cakes, a loaf of Wholemeal Irish Soda Bread and a pack of 6 slices of Irish Batch Bread all for £2.80.

Thoroughly ashamed of myself, I set off for the bus stop and waited for the arrival of the last L9 bus, back to the flats.

En-route, the astounding clouds continued to amaze me.

When I got to the flat, after staying awake the whole journey ‘Smug Mode Adopted’, I Visited the WC, then knocked on Malcolm’ door.

He came over an hour or so later and spend ages trying to get the CCTV channel on the set for me without any success. Shame. However, he did get the East Midland programmes on for me, including Nottingham TV. So now I can get the weather forecast for where I live as opposed to Birmingham. Hurrah!

He showed me how to choose the programmes I wanted to appear on the remote’s Guide listing. I’ll have a go at that later; if I remember that is. Sad!

I got the potatoes boiling and updated this diary.

Had a cuppa and took the medications.

Got the Lamb shank on the boil.

Put the potatoes in another pan to keep them warm.

As  I was making the Nosh, I remembered I should have gone to the Community Hut Meeting this morning! I’m bitterly disappointed with myself now!

I had the nosh and a half, it took a lot of preparing, but it was so nice and tasty, it was all worth the effort.

Rated this one 9.59/10, the lamb shank and mince,  could still taste in the morning.

Mmm!

I toyed with the channels on the TV Malc had adjusted. So, now I have Nottingham TV and East Midlands Channels.

Watched some programmes, falling asleep during each one; Heartbeat (Nodded off at the first commercial break, missed the last 45 minutes altogether). Road Wars (Nodded off many times, missed the ending). Hetty Wainthrop (Managed almost to the first break, missed the rest of it), and Jonathan Creek (Didn’t get to the first break even!). Huh!

Inchcock Today Fri 23 Feb 16: Fings going alright for once – I should not have said that, should I?

Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print!

*****

Tuesday 23 February 2016

Shot awake at around 0300hrs, the TV still flickering away, headphones still on my head, the wind howling outside and in urgent need of the bathroom porcelain.

Stood up, overjoyed at how the leg gave me so little defiance in this effort. Anne Gyna was giving no bother, the Reflux valve was sticking just a bit, and Arthur Itis was very kind to me. It concerns me when I wake up feeling good like this because history tells me I’ll pay for it later? Hehe! As I set off on the long eleven-step walk to the bathroom, I pulled the wire of the headphone with my foot – clunk the mug and mobile phone clattered onto the floor. I bent down and retrieved them, still no hiatus from the leg or back?

Sat there on my throne, I decided to get a shave then. BJ is coming to lift me to the launderette around 0800>0830hrs. So I’ll have to have a bath earlier than usual (Remember I left the hot water tap running last night so couldn’t have one then, besides I fell asleep, Humph!). Hoping it will not disturb my neighbours, I’ll have it around 0715hrs, that should give me time to get the things ready for BJ then.

When I came out to go to the kitchen, (All of at least eight-paces), I actually remembered I’d selected to keep my hearing aids in Auntie Kath’s fancy China pot thing. I got the idea from some of TFZ gals who responded to my photo of it on Facebook.

Well chuffed with oneself, this morning I was… up to now, no agony from the ailments, not forgetting where I’d moved the hearing aids too; this can’t go on I thought? Haha!

I made a good strong cup of Punjana tea and had my breakfast while setting the laptop going to finish Monday’s diary off and start this one.

I’d left the headphones I use for the laptop out on the 1967 G-Plan sideboard where the laptop sits proudly awaiting its next break-down. This prompted me to listen to some music on YouTube. There, the first thing I saw was on the history – ‘Gossip Calypso’, Bernard Cribbins – Argh! The flipping thing came back into my head again. I opted to listen to a compilation of Frankie Vaughan songs, 200 songs on it, all memory provoking stuff. Won’t have time to hear them all mind this time. Ah, ‘He is started with ‘Gimme the moonlight’, nobody could sing this like Frankie. ‘Tower of Strength’ the next one, just like I feel this morning for some reason. Tower; definitely brings back some memories of my lustful days of youth. Margaret her name was, another one I lost. Hey-ho!

Email from Patti. Set about doing another graphicalisation that suited her better and got it sent off via email.

Started to work on a humorous post about ‘Comments and Quotes on Women and Men, by Women and Men. Then realised the time; oh dear, I just had time to get a wash, before BJ rang to say he was on his way.

Forgot my hearing aids, but too late to go back up the lift to collect them, or I might miss BJ.

I walked to the end of Chestnut Walk and waited for him to arrive. The view from the corner was magnificent with the lighting as it was.

BJ scooped me up and off we went to the launderette in Carrington.

He helped me with the crosswords, and I managed a good gossip with Mandie.

Back to his house where he popped in for a few minutes, and then off to Asda (Walmart) for some Trousers, because I ripped mine this morning in getting down to clean the bits I’d left in the oven. Tsk!

I found just one pair of trews the size I wanted, so got them. Then had a wander around getting a bit of a nosh in. Spent some more cash today, £36.01! Mind you I did get the trousers didn’t I, £9 there, and I got a DVD that I hadn’t known about for £5, Tremors 5 Bloodlines. I saw Tremors 4 years ago and had such a laugh at it; I hope this one is funny too.

We were soon back at the flats where BJ dropped me off, bless him. If it wasn’t for Duncan and BJ, I don’t know how I’d manage at times.

Up to the flat, five letters had been delivered. Two for Margaret the previous tenant, two advertising bumph and one informing me I have an appointment at the clinic rearranged fro the  6th March.

Made a jolly strong cup of tea while singing Frankie Vaughan’s ‘Green Door to myself, took the midday medications, passed wind, and got the laptop on.

Updated this load of manure then went on facebook for a bit.

Having Lamb stew and Colcannon mash with green beans today for the nosh. I’ll look up what Colcannon mash is later.

Got around to doing some more on the Ladies v Men post.

Nosh:

Lamb stew, carrots, peppers, onions, green beans (from Israel, very sweet!), and the Colcannon mashed potatoes. Rated 9.26/10.

The Colcannon mash had kale and onions in it. Rather delectable, although I’m not supposed to eat kale, there was only a tiny bit of it, and it was so nice! I dipped the continental bread in the gravy. Followed it with a pot of mandarins in orange jelly.

Got an excellent bathing and soak. Got into and out of the bath with relative ease tonight? The leg was not much bother at all; on the mend nicely now.

Fatigue soon came over me again and within minutes, I had turned into a poorly bloke again. Tsk!

Watched some goggle-box and soon went into the land of nod. Zzzz!

TTFN all.

Inchcock Today Mon 22 Feb 16: ♫Gossip Calypso♫ on my mind?

What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass! (Oh, sorry! – Inchcock)

Monday 22 February 2016

Around  0300hrs, a loud voice bellowed out from somewhere that at first I thought was in my dream, and then I recognised that it was in the room, and I heard it without my hearings aid in? As I focussed, it became apparent that this was the ‘Alarm Centre Auto message, telling me I had activated my Health Alarm wristlet. A bit of screeching from the line, red light flashing, and then a voice came over the box. 

A bit of screaming from the line, red light flashing, and then a voice came over the box. I couldn’t understand a word he or she was saying, nor recognise the accent. Luckily I have done this accidental activating of the alarm twice before, so I just said: “Sorry, caught it in error!” The operator spoke a two syllable word, whatever that was, and rang off.

Had to get up now, so much for my planned lay-in like? Hehe!

I wish I could remember the dream I was having, but cannot, just a feeling that I was enjoying it, lingered.

Ah well, I’ll make a cuppa then, took the medications. Made sure the Anticoagulation form was in the coat pocket ready for the INR Warfarin Blood Test later.

As soon as I got into the bathroom and started checking out Little Inchy (No bleeding today – yippee!), Bernard Cribbin’s Gossip Calypso song came into my mind, and it stayed there all day, I just kept singing the bits of it that I could remember repeatedly? For the younger readers, here are the lyrics to the song. I looked them up later. If you click on the Lyrics link, you can have a listen to the actual song. I don’t think they would allow this to be recorded nowadays? I loved it.

Gossip Calypso Lyrics

Gossip Calypso Gossip Calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

Oh Mrs Brown, well how are you now, I tell you,
I’ve had a shocking time with Ern and his stomach
Don’t talk to me, my Charlie has gone and fallen down the stairs again,

saints preserve us
Poor old chap did he hurt himself well, not as much as
Alf that’s my cousin Freds boy I learnt from Fred,
the doctor said, he’ll have to have his kneecaps straight,

Gor blimey singing

Gossip Calypso Gossip Calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

Mrs Booze, have you heard the news that woman,
you know the very fat one down at the corner
Climbed in a truck, got stuck, they think that they never gonna get her out, do tell me
Well I had a feller round and gave him a pound, to free her with an oxyacetylene welder
Must send along some books, it looks like she’s gonna be there quite some time,

Cor blimey singing

Gossip Calypso Gossip Calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back

Oh, Mrs Ware, I do like your hair who does it,
I go to Madame Pom-Pom round by the gas works
With all that fruit, it looks so cute, I can’t believe it, it’s really you, like a film star
Have you heard dear, a little bird has told me Mrs Tate’s expecting her seventh
Well glory be, that’s three, she’s had since Lenny had his tonsils out, cor blimey singing

Gossip Calypso Gossip Calypso
Hear all about it yak a yak yak
Every woman up at the window
Giving out the gossip and getting it back!

I got the laptop on and made another cuppa. As I did, the wind was still belting into the kitchen something rotten! The wind was also escaping from me as well. Humph!

Checked the calendar to verify the time for the surgery appointment was 1030hrs. (Gossip Calypso playing in my mind. Can’t stop it now!)

Finished off Sundays dairy, and started this one off.

Did some Facebooking and got a request for a graphic – I love it when this happens, especially from Patti. It’s so good to be able to do something for those who do a lot for me. Got on with starting it. Had to get a move on so as not to be late for the GP. Patti let me now he’d like one of the characters in a wedding dress so had to change it sharpish. I decided not to print it here yet, in case it is suitable for her until she has used it.

I feel amazingly good again this morning – I expect some hiatus or Whoopsiedangleplop to occur soon. Hehe!

Got a scrub-up and Jean, the lady I lent to her to view, returned them bless her. Asked her if she wanted to have a look see if there were any she would like to see from my shelves, but she declined.

Then I set off for the INR blood test at the GP in Carrington. I met Dean Walker, the coordinator for my block of flats on the way out. Gave her the Wholemeal Soda bread loaf, that saves me calling into the Community Shed on the way to leave it for her and Obegruppenfurher Julie, the other coordinator.

As I turned right on the way to Winchester Street, a fox showed itself near the fencing. By the time I dug into my bag to get the camera and got it going, it was too late, he’d hopped it back into the gardens. Tsk!

I’d gotten half-way down the Winchester Street hill when I found myself singing ‘Gossip Calypso’ again.

I proceeded in an orderly fashion down to Sherwood, left up the hill and down the hill into Carrington. I’d like to brag at this time if you don’t mind like: It took me only 38 minutes to walk there from the flats. (Smug mode adopted).

The beautiful nurse soon took me blood in no time – but stopping the bleeding afterwards took longer than it ever has before? Oh dear!

I gave her the nibbles and exited onto Manfield Road.Where I think, I might have qualified as Britains Most Effective Vacillator!

Where I think I might well have qualified as Britains Most Effective Senior Citizen Vacillator! I walked up to the bus stop on the right to catch a bus into town – Where I changed my mind and started to walk to the left and cross the road to grab a bus back into Sherwood – While waiting for a break in the traffic to cross the street, I thought, no, I will go into town and catch an L9 bus from there to go to Sainsburys and get some cashew nuts. – Then I thought, oh blimey, BJ is coming, and I walked back to the bus-stop near the surgery. – Then realised BJ is coming tomorrow; not today, and began to waddle back to the other bus stop, and realised I should have caught the bus from the other bus stop, and walked back to it, and did so. I worry myself at times yer know!

To the accompaniment of ‘Gossip Calypso’ in my mind, I travelled into the City Centre. There had been an accident of some kind near the Post Office, and a chap was laying down near the back of a van, with worried people who had covered him and put him in the recovery position. The CPO stood scratching his arse, as they awaited the ambulance or paramedic.

I caught the bus into Arnold, dropping off as Sainsburys.

Nipped in and hurriedly got a soda bread and the honey-roasted cashew nuts I was after – very pricey, but there you are.

No guilt present!

Paid the scowling til person, and I was soon back out at the bus-stop again and caught the same bus back to the flats.

The sky was beautiful once again, even if there was not so much sunshine about. I did some cross-wording and ‘Gossip Calypso’ came less often to mind.

On the journey, the skies darkened, although streaks of lightness permeated them.

I took this photo from the kitchen when I got in; well, after visiting the porcelain. The wind around the flats seemed far worse than elsewhere?

I realised I’d forgotten to get a TV paper to replace the one I’d accidentally thrown away. Huh! So I checked on the TV listing thingy. Some good stuff on tonight as well! But I have minimum confidence in my ability to stay awake to watch those I want to watch.

Made a cuppa and took the medications.Laptop on and I updated this diary.

I’m afraid I left the hot water running again, so no bath until it heats up again after 1800hrs, and I wanted to watch a film on TV as well. Still, as I said earlier, I’ll probably nod off, in any case.

‘Gossip Calypso’ continues to come from my lips!

Laptop on and I updated this diary.

Had the urge for toast for me fodder tonight. So, I got six small brown Soda bread slices and put Vegemite on two of them, Marmite on another two, and Blackcurrant jam on the last two.

A cup of strong tea and some honey coated cashew nuts for afters.

I couldn’t decide if the Vegemite for the Marmite tasted better, not that it matters, I love them both! Wonderful!

Took the medications and tried to watch a film on the goggle-box.

I soon nodded off, waking up around 0300hrs with the TV still on, and the wind howling again! Still, ‘Gossip Calypso’ had gone… Hehehe!

Inchcock Today Sun 21 Feb 16: Lost BP Monitor Found! Health Alarm Activated! Exciting stuff eh?

If a lawyer and a politician were both drowning, and you could only save one of them:

Would you go to lunch, play Tetris or read the newspaper?

*****

Sunday 21st February 2016

Woke up at around 0200hrs, and savoured the wonderful memories of the dream I’d been having, of course, as usual, only bits of it remain now that I come to record them here.

One again I was in a bombed out building, top floor, troops fighting all around the area, mortar fire, artillery fire and snipers all having a pop at me, as I sat there on a typewriter? Despite the exploding shells and collapsing building around me, all I seemed worried about was how to spell a word. I was not hurt at all, although bleeding from the end of my left-hand thumb? Odd?

Fell back to sleep, must have needed it for me to do this?

I stirred again around 0400hrs, and as I moved, I was very pleased with the lack of objections from the flabby bodies joints, Anne Gyna and the right leg too. Considering all the cleaning yesterday, this encouraged me not to temerate over my decision to get the living room cleaned up today. The many and large windows may not get cleaned outside though this depends on the weather.

To the porcelain without any hiatus, I found this oddly disturbing?

I noticed the BP machine that I found yesterday, and did the tests:

DYS 154 – DIA 70 – Pulse 89 and Temp 32.4. I’ve lost the notes about what the readings should be, but I feel extraordinarily energetic this morning! Says him with fingers crossed, Hehe!

To the kitchen to make a cuppa and take the morning medications. The wall thermometer indicated it was 57°f, and the wind was coming in through every crevice and crack through the windows, vents and the cupboards and drawers. I’ll be glad when they get this fixed and sorted. I need some vadiation from the Nottingham City Homes that they will be sorting it out when the modernisation of the flats takes place. But when will that be?

I opened the laptop and finished Saturday’s diary. Then started this one.

Sneezing a lot this morning I am.

Wheeler Gate Comparison

Checked the emails, and then went on Facebook. I noticed some good stuff on the Nottingham Now and then site. So decided I’d go to Nottingham and take some photographs of Exchange Walk, from the same angle as a 1950 one I have, then doctor them next to each other, think of something funny to write about them, and eventually post them onto the site.

I had a wash and did my ablutions, and set off on the walk up and through Woodthorpe Park to the bus stop on Mansfield Road. (They’re no buses to the flat on a Sunday).

Got to the top of the steep footpath and noticed some kids getting themselves ready to start a football match – in the wind! Thought they were so brave I decided to take the photo of them… then decided to go back to the flat to pick up the camera I’d forgotten to take with me – Tsk!

So back and picked it up and returned to the pitch in the park.

The referee had got then walking along the opposition team shaking hands like the professional footballers do! I was impressed.

Stayed a few minutes to watch them, again I was impressed with how they didn’t even try to do any long passes in the horrible wind.

I moved to the bus stop and only had 15 minutes to wait for a bus. When it arrived it was so full, crammed passengers all over the place. I was surprised the driver let us all on.

Once in town, I went to check the number 40 bus times for me get back near the flats. I had 20 minutes to get to take the photographs, not far to go, though. Went and took them, and made my way back to the bus stop, calling in the book shop (Will I ever learn!) as I did. Purchased a book by Sepp Allerberger, Knights Cross, a sniper on theEastern Front. £9.99 down to £5.00.

Back to the bus stop, just in time too!

The rain joined the high winds in making life unpleasant.

But it was nothing compared to the winds back at the flats.

After risking life and limb crossing over the road on Winchester Street and walking down and turning towards the flats, my rate of knots was reduced by about 80% by the vicious winds.

When I got into the flat, I made for the bathroom and the porcelain first, and the howling winds coming through every gap in the windows, holes in the walls and through the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen, made their way to the bathroom, and the toilet paper was blowing in the wind! Cor blimey Governer!

I searched for the TV paper I’d bought yesterday, for a while without any success. Realised I must have thrown down the rubbish chute with the other stuff earlier today. Humph!

Got the beef chunks on the boil, then added some veg to it later. I reckon I cut the beef up into small chunks, perhaps smaller than I should have – as they seemed to have disappeared when I stirred in the mix? Added some gravy and baked beans to fill it out.

It didn’t look very attractive at all, but by gum it was nice tasting! Rated this an 8.9/10.

Went on the web to see what was on the TV, and found four films all one after the other, that I could watch! Astonished at this, I decided not to do any cleaning today, rather treat myself to a good sit-in and TV session! Guilt did reign a bit, but I managed to overcome it. Hehe!

Not that it panned out like that, I managed the first film, only nodding off a few times, then watched the second one. At the first commercial break, I drifted off into the dreaming land of nod.

Woke a few hours later, but kept tossing and turning for some reason and waking myself up again every few minutes it seemed like. .

Around  0300hrs a loud voice bellowed out from somewhere that at first I thought was in my dream, then I recognised that it was in the room, and I hearing it without my hearings aid in? As I focussed it became clear that this was the ‘Alarm Centre Auto message, telling me I had activated my Health Alarm wristlet. A bit of screeching from the line, red light flashing, and then a voice came over the box. 

A bit of screeching from the line, red light flashing, and then a voice came over the box. I couldn’t understand a word he or she was saying, nor recognise the accent. Luckily I have done this accidental activating of the alarm twice before, so I just said: “Sorry, caught it in error!” The operator spoke a two syllable word, whatever that was, and rang off.

Had to get up now, so much for my planned lay-in like? Hehe!

I wish I could remember the dream I was having, but cannot, just a feeling that I was enjoying it, lingered.

Ah well, I’ll make a cuppa then.

Inchcock Today Fri 19 Feb 16: Another day of beautiful skys

How many Lawyers does it take to tile the roof of a house?

That depends on how thin you slice them!

*****

Friday 19 February 2016

Shot awake at 0225hrs, in need of the porcelain. The left foot was very sore and painful when I stood up, but the right leg seemed easier this morning. I think perhaps I’d laid with the heavier torn muscle right leg on top of the left one’s ankle?

Made a cuppa and got the medication pot ready to take later. Laptop on and finished the diary for yesterday off, and then started this one.

At this point, I’d like to mention that I didn’t drop anything in the kitchen, nor spill the milk, nor leave the tap running. Smug Mode adopted! Hehe!

Forged on with finishing the graphic I started days ago for the TFZers.

I sincerely hope they like it enough.

I added a lot of little extras I anticipate they will find.

Flowers, cacti, at least, three pets of the outstanding members.

It took yonks to get completed. I posted asking for comments and or, a Caption for it. 

Got the laundry ready and popped down to the washing room. 

Old Lilly came down to sit in the foyer while I was getting the laundry into the machine. 

I pooped, no, popped, out to the Winwood Community Shed to ask if anyone could ring the surgery for me to book an appointment fro my INR test on Monday. No one was in.

Came back to the foyer and had a chinwag with Lilly.

After the washing was done and I transferred the clothes to the dryer, I went to the Shed again, still no one there, so I dropped their nibbles in the fridge.

Many folks were coming and going today, and I had many a good gossip. Felt right at home I did.

Made an effort at the crosswords with the help of a couple of tenants waiting to go out on the bus.

Got the drying out, and again visited the hut. I got in and realised I’d left my other bag in the laundry room, so nipped back for it, then once more to the hut.

Where Deana and Obergruppenfurher Julie were busy working away. I asked Deana and she called the GP for me and got an appointment for Monday at 1035hrs, bless her.

Back to the flat and made a cuppa, sorted the clobber and set-up a new laundry bag.

Spend a good while looking out of the kitchen window and watching the people with their dogs, tails a wagging (The dogs not their owners) way down 12 stories below.

Updated this tosh on the laptop, and then got me meal cooking.

Tried to do some cleaning now the leg was so much easier, but the damned Angina put at end to that plan.

When one thing eases off, usually another comes to replace it. Tsk!

Had to give up, hoping Anne Gina will give me a break in the morning.

Medications were then taken, and a passage of wind was released, that brought tears to my eyes, and drifted off to kip.

I sprang awake 0245hrs, wide awake?

Inchcock Today 18 Feb 16: Windwood Community Hut meeting today

First lawyer: “You’re an unmitigated liar.”
Second lawyer: “You’re a lowdown cheat.”
Judge: “Now that the lawyers have identified themselves, let us proceed.”

*****

Up at around 0400hrs, bit of the dream I’d had still milling about in my head, by the time I got onto the laptop to record them, many had disseminated into the ether. Tsk!

I was trying to collect the fairs from passengers on a trolley bus of old. Folk kept running away from me. After much of this frustration I swapped position with the driver and he had a go at collecting the fairs in. He gave up after two stops and came around to the cab wanting to change back again. I refused, he disappeared and returned with the passengers, and they started to cram themselves into the cab with me? Somehow I escaped, as I jumped out of the cab, found myself in a giant inkwell, with a dangerous pen nib being dipped into it, that I had to keep avoiding. I recall being glad that I had learned to swim in this dream; Yes, I knew I was dreaming. I think I tried to wake up without any luck. I then ended up somehow in the gutter of the road, comforting a dying sparrow?

The right leg felt far less painful, and I arose to make a cup of tea and take my medications. A bit nippy again this morning.

To the porcelain, and found no blood leaking anywhere! Well done I said to myself. Had a good wash and did my ablutions, and then had a shave and accrued a cut on the chin. Huh!

I got on with doing some graphics for the “This week’s helpful advice accrued for fellow Senior Dodderers” post.

It was soon time for my mate BJ to arrive, and go with me to the Thursday Morning Meet at theWinwood Centre Shed. He was a little late; I did tell him the meeting was from 1000 to 1100hrs… or did I?

When BJ arrived, he called me just before he did so that I could meet him downstairs.

I got me bits and to the lift, and realised I’d left my hearing aids, so had to go back and get them. Down again, and met him in the car park.

We poddled to the Community Shed, and it was full of folk enjoying themselves, but 1040 by then. This was when BJ said he’s misunderstood my telling him the meeting was from 10 to 11hrs hours and thought I meant for him to get here for 10 to 11hrs? Nice to know someone else can get it wrong. Hehe!

We had a great time nattering away and listening to the other tenants. but we had only a short tie before they were packing up. BJ said he’d come again next week.

He gave me a lift to Sainsburys on his way home, bless him.

The shop had some of the almonds I fancied, I got them and quickly got out, just in time to catch the L9 bus back to the flats.

The sky was again unusual, in such as the clouds looked like they had been painted onto it again.

These photographs I took from the bus as we were travelling through Daybrook and Sherwood in the second one.

Wonderful dramatic clouds in the sky again!

When I got back to the flats, I was again pleased with the improvement in the right leg.

I got into the front room, took my coat off and knocked two photographs off the corner cabinet. Huh! I replaced them.

To the WC,  then onto the laptop to do this diary.

Heeding the call from within for fodder, I got the nosh ready in between nipping back to the laptop.

Got the beef in the oven first, potatoes and mushrooms in the pans and added the parsnips to the meat later. Hoping that it all comes out correctly.

Patti Beckert would be proud of me today, I hope.

One giant mushroom with some small chestnut mushrooms, boiled potatoes, beetroots with orange bits, roast beef and garden peas. The gravy didn’t come out right mind. I used the juice from the mushrooms to make it as well. Tsk!

Took the medications. Managed to drop the tray on the way into the kitchen.

Tired out again now, I did the washing up and interned myself in the armchair.

For a change, I drifted off quickly, the TV still on when I awoke at 0215hrs.

This weeks helpful advice accrued for fellow Senior Dodderers

Without any questionisationing, the last few days happenings at Inchcock’s Mansion in the Sky, have proven to be of infinitesimal benefit for him, in his quest to be of use as the WordPress Senior Bloggers Doddery Advisory Editor for Whippersnappers, and what they can anticipate and expect to be having to cope with in their later years.

No nonsensical airy-fairy Namby-Pamby these may or may not be applicable to all of the young shoplifters and drugged muggers in future years.

Each actual incident is described, and real advice offered. So that those nearing the Coffin-Waiting time of life can face it with the certain knowledge that they are about to tackle their final challenges, and can do so, knowing how Inchcock managed. (Fair enough he failed, but there you are!)

Incident One

The support-gloved removal of fodder from the oven:

You will find it easy to do this and singe your gloves and fingers. The pain will not bother you too much, however, because you’ll be suffering from the Angina, and this will probably what caused you to forget to use the oven glove in the first place.

Incident Two

Removing the new milk jug from the refrigerator:

Reaching in and getting some milk for your strong cup of tea, no doubt used to be an easy task?

Inchcock advises you do not use a paper coaster in an effort to keep the glass shelf clean in the fridge, like what he did.

You will find as you remove the jug, the coaster will fall off. You will naturally make a failed grab in an effort to try and catch the paper disc before it lands on the floor, where you will be in great pain from your arthritis and pulled leg muscle in retrieving it from.

Unfortunately, you will miss the coaster and drop the milk jug at the same time. Also, you’ll bang your head on the fridge door in your efforts.

Cleaning up the mess up, will prompt your backache and swollen knees to start giving you some stick, pain-wise.

You may well invent a new curse word like Inchy did, ‘Schramblackgustit!’

A new jug will cost you £3 from Asda.

Incident three

The bathroom Heater Costs:

Taking your bath and ablutions will be painful enough just getting into, and especially so, out of the tub.

Not forgetting to turn off the heater, then going back in two hours later to find you didn’t turn it off, can and will damage your finances.

On the plus side, it’ll be nice and warm in there next time you use the throne but beware of falling asleep on it like what Inchy did. Falling off of it can cause medical problems, and getting back up will be no picnic either! Remember to keep your Health Alert panic button wristlet on, but not when you are in the bath – this has also proved costly to the Editor in the passed. Tsk!

Incident Four

The battery operated dab radio in the bathroom:

What a good idea thought Inchcock, he could listen to his beloved Radio Nottingham whilst taking a bath or using the porcelain now he’s bought a battery operated unit.

He found the reception crap, and the volume available not high enough for him to hear it. The batteries don’t last long either. He also has adopted a regular habit of not turning it off after using the bathroom. He recommends if you take this route, keep a good stock of AA batteries in… and try to remember where you stored them too, important this bit!

Incident Five

Housework One:

Failure to remember where the sharp corners are on the furniture, particularly the electric fireplace that always attracts dust even though he has never used it.It makes such a mess

It also makes such a mess when he tries to help himself back up after cleaning the thing, it’s amazing how many times the truncheon, photo frame, and clock, have along with Inchcock tumble to the floor while carrying out this simple cleaning task. He’s alright now thanks, the bleeding on his ear-hole tab has stopped.

Incident Six

Mobile Phone charging calamity:

When charging the mobile phone, it is best not to forget you’ve put it on charge for two days.

Lack of incoming calls (Though understandable), could be avoided, thus, you will be reminded that the phone is still on charge when you eventually find it as it rings. If as with Inchy, you do not get any incoming calls much, you might try setting the alarm on the mobile to remind you of when it is fully charged? Of course being deaf, you may not hear it anyway. Still, it keeps the EE phone shop happy selling me the replacement batteries regularly.

Incident Seven

Cooking and Traditional Wood Dye:

A good bit of advice here for those few whippersnappers that may still be capable of cooking their own fodder in the later years.

When using  your wood dye on your walking stick scratches, always, I say always! Put the can and micro-duster away out of view. Why? Well, you might copy Inchcock, and while you are setting out your food on the plate then realise you’ve left the open can of dye out on the work surface. Decide to screw back the cap on it and put it away securely. It is best not to let the thing slip from your arthritic hands as you screw the cap back on and as you make determined but futile lunge for the falling can, the contents spill right onto your lamb stew on your plate you’ve just served up for yourself! Humph!

Incident Eight

So, you want to read some of your book, called Leningrad:

A great idea comes to you, you’ve got an hour and a bit to wait for the bus, not long enough to do anything on the laptop, so decide to have a read of your book?

You peruse the bookshelf and can’t see it there? You will try to recall when you last had a read of it, was it in the bathroom, a search in there will prove worthless. You spent the two hours searching, getting annoyed with yourself. You’ll check your shopping bag, bedroom, kitchen and cupboards. You give up and set off on the bus to your doctors appointment. You get back four hours later, make a cuppa and look at the bookshelf again – and there it is, Leningrad, top right of the shelf? Annoying this will be!

Incident Nine

Another bathroom Cock-up to avoid:

You find out that Bicarbonate of Soda granules will work perfectly as a bath tub cleaner.

Just make sure you keep the packet away from your bath salts!

Mind you, if you too get them mixed up, you will get a good clean, but tingling sensation after your bath! Hehe!

Inchcock Today Wed 17 Feb 16: Started slow, then got slower!

A lawyer was making his case in a crowded courtroom when he noticed four gentlemen in the back of the room on tip-toes and trying to get a better view.

So the lawyer stood up on a chair and asked if they could see him now, the four men, an Englishman, a Frenchmen, a Spaniard and a German, answer the lawyer in order:

“Yes!” “Oui!” “Sí” “Ja!”!

With thanks to Timothy Price, for forwarding this joke for me to use.

*****

Wednesday 17th February 2016

Gave up trying to sleep and got up around 0110hrs. Had a painful tinkle, made a cuppa and laptop on.

Got on with finishing the Monday diary.

Doing a lot of sneezing this morning, hang on I’ll check the thermometer in the kitchen… 57°f, not good that.G

Did some Facebooking. For a long time.

Checked the emails. Two of the gals that are concerned about my pamphagous eating habits offered advice. Bless their cotton socks.

Then got the bath running and perfumed.

Good soak, during which I listened to the local radio, snow forecast for high ground today. Not a lot it said.

Dried off well, medicated the sickly parts of my immense blubbery body that were in need. Checked the taps were not left on, put the towels in the airing cupboard, cleaned the bath, sink and taps, then adorned my Titanic torso with the day clothes.

A young Sister Jane

Rang Sister Jane while I was making a cuppa. Had a natter. Told her I’d doctored and sent a photograph of her earlier, and sent it to her via email, from when she was about two years of age.

I hope that cheers her up a bit.

Got the laptop out of sleep mode and checked the rest of the emails.

Realised I’d left my bob-cap in the WC, went to retrieve it and found I’d left the heater on again. Lovely and warm in there now, Tsk!

I got CorelDraw opened, and started a graphicalisation I’d been hoping to start for ages.

I was checking some old stuff for graphics that I did years ago and found a word I’d not used for even longer. Phlyarologist! That describes me to a tee!

The graphicalisationing took me the whole day – and a bit of guilt at getting nowt else done or sorted!

BJ rang me, to confirm he’s coming in the morning to go to the Coffee tenant meeting with me. no idea what to expect from it.

I got to the WC and no blood from Little Inchy, rare but good that.

Had four Soda bread slices toasted, two with Marmite, Two with Blackcurrant Jam.

Collapsed in the chair and occasionally dozed for short periods, kept waking up with ideas to get something done, but nodded off again each time. Tsk!

So, managed to wake long enough to take me medications, and the odd trip to the bathroom. Things are getting a bit hard in passing again. If it’s the same in the morning, I’ll take a Senna tablet with my morning medications.

Put the A-Team DVD in the telly thingy, and that did the trick.

Nodded off nicely!

Inchcock Today Tue 16 Feb 16: Pavement Cyclist attack. Well, almost!

Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused because she believes she’s prejudice. “I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin!” she tells the judge.

“Sit down,” says the judge.

“That’s the defence lawyer!”

******

Tuesday 16 February 2016

Up at 0315hrs. To the bathroom.

A bit of bleeding from Inchy, but the back passage piles were okay.

I got on with doing the diary, then took me medications with a cuppa.

I did this graphic above for my ‘Symmetry of Life’ post. Just another load of my waffling on about life in general. Then finished off the rhyme and posted that off.

Got a wash and change, all ready for the Asda delivery to arrive.

I split the Country loaf into two halves, put mine in the freezer and the other half in a bag for the gals (Coordinators) at the Winwood Community Shed.

When the delivery comes, I’ll take it down to them.

Made another cuppa, and started this diary going.

I rang BJ to see how he was; he was at the laundry. I told him about my intention to attend the Coffee Morning at the Winwood Community Hut and informed him I’d ask if he could come along to have a natter as well.

Asda delivered the bits, and I set off to the Community shed. Took the recycle box down with me and left it outside the caretakers rooms outside.

Deana and Obergruppenfurher Julie were both in the shed, busy as usual bless them.

Gave them their Country bread and an Easter egg. Had a little gossip and returned to the flats. Asked what time the Coffee Mornings were on Thursdays, and if BJ could come along with me. He’d be welcome, so that’s good.

Back to number 72, and rang BJ to tell him he would be esteemed to come along to the meeting on Thursday. He said he’d try to get here for 1015hrs.

Continued this diary after making another good strong cup of tea. An hour and a bit to go now, until I must set-off on me walk to the surgery for me Warfarin INR blood test, and have me torn muscle looked at.

So instead of getting involved in doing my graphicalisationing, I played on Spider Solitaire for a while.

Set off for the limp to the Doctors. Damned cold outside, although it looks sunny enough.

I called in the health food store in Sherwood en route, to get some Lemon Scones and Coconut crusties for the surgery staff because I’d forgotten to take their nibbles with me.

Got to the doctors with a lot less pain and hassle than of late from the leg.

The nurse soon got my blood taken, managing a little natter while she was doing it.

Out into the sunshine and cold, (odd day) and caught a bus into town.

To the slab square and caught a tram to Hucknall.

I stood first in line at the last of the mounting points to get on the tram when it arrived.

When it did come, the more nimble and aggressive Nottinghomians shot by me, and I was about the last person to get on! Swines!

The “Have You Paid” inspectors got on at the Theatre Royal, and three passengers were ejected from the tram for none-payment. Which pleased me greatly, because all three had been part of those who forced their way passed and ahead of me getting on. (Smugness overcame me!)

Whistling to myself now.

We got into Hucknall, and I made the rather long walk from the trams platform, across the Park & Ride car park, up the road and across another into Tesco’s car park, through that and into the store.ow

I got some Irish Potatoe Thins, small potatoes and vegemite. ow

On the way back going through the car park, taking the pedestrian red route as painted on the ground, a teenage scallywag came from behind and swerved very closely around me at speed on his bicycle. It shook me a bit and I shouted out “Git!” at him. He pulled up and looked back at me. Gave me the finger, and shot off at speed again. Tsk!

Onto the tram and returned to Nottingham. At the Forest Recreation Ground Park & Ride, I saw the tent for the Russin State Circus.

It looked in the photo as if it was in the middle of the car park. Hehe!

I dropped off at the Theatre Royal. I checked the time, and I had half an hour to kill before the last L9 bus from Queen Street departed.

So I had a walk around Trinity Square and took some photographs.

As I walked through the posh eatery section, all the tables and chairs outside together, and I estimated there were around 150 chairs all-together between them all. There was less than a dozen folk using them all told.

I took some photographicalisations of some ‘Bling’ for the gals on the TFZ Facebook page.

 Made my way to the bus-stop and awaited the arrival of the L9 electric bus.

A rarity today, it came and went on time.

I struggled a bit, not to nod-off en route.

The leg was stinging a bit now, I made my way up to the flat and visited the porcelain without delay.

The usual feeling of fatigue came over me.

I made me nosh. And it was very nice.

Low-fat Cumberland sausages, BBQ chicken bits, beetroot, small potatoes, chestnut mushrooms and potato cakes.

Having had to use two saucepans and the oven to get this ready, the washing up took a while. Haha!

A blackcurrant jelly to follow.

After that, the typical struggle to stay awake ensued. Then I gave up the idea of reading and got my head down.

Well, I say I got my head down, agreed I did get my head down, but could I get off to sleep? No! Kept waking up every ten minutes it seemed to me.

I gave up again around one o’clock and got up.

TSK!

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