Inchcock Today: Sunday 7th December 2014

Temp Today

Sunday 7th December 2014

I was bolt upright at 0440hrs – mind racing and with an unconscious desire to get the laptop and internet going ASAP to record something (presumably either an idea for a post on the blog or record a dream I’d had) I assume.

I started the laptop first thing, while it was loading I WC’d and made a cup of tea (Not at the same time mind!).

I returned upstairs with me medications to take and cuppa… but the mind had lost whatever it was that I had earlier intended to record into the ether.

Damned annoying that was! I spent a few moments trying to claw back the memory I’d lost without any luck. Tsk!

I realised that ‘Little Inchy’ was not feeling sore and tender as usual and thought ‘Oh dear, he’s not bleeding is he?’

Had a grope to find the little shrunken mite and checked – No, okay! Phew!

The new cheapo headphones I purchased yesterday only worked in one ear-hole and were not effective or powerful enough for me to listen to the radio or DVD with.

Hey-ho, hey-ho, its failure yet again I know,

But I’m used to suffering with this scenario,

 If there is an afterlife and I hope there’s not,

Will I have to reveal my failures of this life’s lot?

Can I tell of me fear and confusion with mankind?

I wish sometimes my life I could rewind,

But what then would I realise and find?

Would I still be thick and colour-blind?

And slowly found to be again losing my mind?

The reason for my doing this ditty, I’ve yet to find!

Graphic that Inchy’s confused brain created this morning… sad innit!

Worked on the graphics for this for a long time and drifted off into a world of my own where things were better for a while.

Then I woke up shivering and laughed at myself as I went to the WC and stubbed me toe on the way against the oil heater.

Still stubbornly refusing to get up at 0805hrs!

Had a bash at Facebook then. No guilt found!

Did a quiz thingy on how old do you sound like – it came back with the result that I Sounded like an Eighteen year old?

 Eventually I forced myself to go out into the cold windy day.

A foreboding sky welcomed me on my little walk

 Out into the world…

As I left the flea-pits front door I looked to the left took a photo, then to the right and took a photo up and down the street – note the lack of people?

Eerie!

Had there been a dirty bomb dropped and i was the only survivor thanks to me medications wot I was on?

Funny how easily off thought permeate the mind at times innit?

I poddled down to Mansfield Road fighting to stay uprightish against the bitter wind.

There was not a bird of any description seen on all of me wanderings?

Alfred Hitchcock came to mind…

As I turned the corner at the end of the street I took the photo of the sky at it momentarily turned dark foreboding and threatening.

Still not many folk about, just the one woman on her way back from Lidl.

On the row of shops down Mansfield Road, the only ones open were the Fish and Chip/Kebab/Restaurant/Burger shop and the Doctors Orders Mini-Bar Pancho’s.

I wandered up and down the way a bit, and decided to risk going to the get some food from Pancho’s… what a fool!

Limped back to the dump and consumed (Rather bravely I thought after looking at the fodder I’d bought!) the nosh.

It were ‘orrible!

I got one of the other headphones that I got yesterday and tried to get them working on the DVD – crap! Tsk!

Fell asleep earlier than normal after taking me medications.

A dark, dank, overcast night… out in the wilds with Security Guard Inchcock!

Inchcock’s Security Career Woes

A dark, dank, overcast night… out in the wilds!

It was a dark, dank, overcast night, with a roving light mist coming and going, interspersed with a get-you-soaking-wet light drizzling rain.

I was assigned to a site that was about 14 miles out of Nottingham, in the unforgiving countryside, with nothing but the bats, fox’s and the occasional escaped pig from the nearby farms to talk to.

A large site, a factory, storage sheds, garage, an annexe, offices, farm vehicle storage field, HGV parking lot, and a lot of unsecured fencing.

 

I was achieving my usual full job satisfaction, as I patrolled the main building, the annexe, the 43 parked up lorries, the millions of pounds worth of new farm machinery, the main annexe ¼ of a mile down the country lane, completed my 18 swipe points, as I then tripped over the crumbling pathway that was immersed in rainwater, then nearly slipped over on the muddy course grass rain-filled ditch, the wild grass was so long it hid the craters and holes scattered all over the site.

I checked the vehicle wash, and then the fuel station, (swiping my last point) and turned to start my return marathon to the main building and my dust covered, waterless, windowless, holes in the floor-board ridden guard base.

About half way back up the hill, ducking to avoid an owl or a bat or whatever it was that dived bombed at me, I noticed a torch light coming from the middle of the sewerage field at the back of the transport offices – now, I had a quandary!

Although already in a state, should I actually go over the ditch and into the field to find out what was going on?

I decided I could not dismiss this possible sign of attempted intrusion, being the professional I am. (Ahem)

I positioned myself behind the porta-cabins, and decided the ditch was easy enough to jump over into the field, and it was too – the only problem was I had not seen the barbed wire on the other side – until I landed in it!

After extricating myself and most of my trousers from the barbed wire, I jumped back over the ditch – and to this day – the memory of that shoe dropping into the sewerage ditch as I leapt, then sinking out of sight, never to be seen again, made me glad it was only the shoe and not me!

I hobbled back to the guard base, cleaned up the wounds with the last of my bottled water, and used up the last few plasters from my cars first aid kit – as the fire alarm activated!

So, one shoe on and one shoe off, I investigated, only to find the ‘Bale area’ sprinklers had activated, and found myself paddling through about 8 inches of very cold water, but no fire was found.

The alarm panel reset OK, and I unblocked the drains to allow the water to slowly draw away, taking my last few plasters that had been soaked off of my bleeding legs along with it!

So back to depressing guard base to complete the by now, several incidents reports that needed doing.

While doing this, I put my bleeding feet and legs up on a tatty broken chair, in an effort to slow down the bleeding, when I heard the sound of the horn sounding from an approaching vehicle at the main gate.

I hobbled out through the factory, into the yard, limping down to the gate to give admission to the Night Manager, Mr Collins, who was very annoyed to find out I had no water to make him a cup of coffee!

But this didn’t prevent him from carrying out his duty of care obligations in question to my injuries, as soon as he’d stopped laughing he passed wind, then he offered his worldly advice as such: “‘Ave that looked at leg when yer gerra day off, un don’t forget to do an incident report (I’d just handed him all three, 5 minutes earlier).

Concerned for how I would drive home safely with no right boot on, we searched around and found one old right footed, rock hard, smelly old trainer shoe in the rubbish bin in the showers, and I drove home with a wet muddy left hand boot on, and a rock hard right footed trainer.

The lost boot was never seen again!

Just another normal day for Security Guard Inchcock really!

Inchcock Today: Saturday 6th December 2014

Saturday 6th December 2014

Blooming cold last night…brrrr!

Gordon Bennett -6ºC  23ºF this morning!

Slept in late, feeling lackadaisical.

WC.

Tried in vain to remember the dreams I knew I’d had and not enjoyed. Can’t even remember bits of any, just the emotions frustration, fear and failing?

Made cuppa and took medications later than I should have – but the sleeping late prevented me from doing it on time – not sleeping like. Taking me medication on time… which I didn’t.

WC.

Facebooked for hours and enjoyed it too making graphics while Coreldraw9 still lets me.

Gone ten when I got up and stirred meself into lethargy (Hehe).

Must get some cheapo replacement headphones to replace the ones I sat on and broke yesterday. (Tsk!)

Taking camera with me (If I remember too) to take some photos on m wanderings.

WC.

Has a good scrub up, teggies and shave applied me pain-gel, Haemorrhoid creams, a quick squirt of ‘Brute’ and checked on ‘Little Inchy’ – no blood that’s good, but the poor little mite was sore and tender-ended.

Still frozen at 1130hrs!

Long-Johns on today and long woollen socks.

Got my stuff together and set off on me walk into town.

As I left the house, bearing in mind it was by now well gone 1130hrs and the sun had been shining for a while although still bitterly cold, I took a picture of the car parked outside the flea-pit with its windscreen still well frozen over with ice!

So pretty – but blooming cold!

Rang Sister Jane en-route to see how they are. Busy as usual dining out, Shows to visit, Meetings to attend etc.

As I was nearing the college on Mansfield Road I thought how wonderful the sun and sky looked despite the bitter cold and took a photo of it.

I walked through the bus-station into the Intu Victoria Shopping Centre top level.

Vic Centre Tree

Very busy as to be expected… but the ambience was not good, many sad irritable and angry looks on people’s faces.

I plodded through to the end out and down to the Wilko shop below to see if they had any headphones I might purchase.

They had a decent range to choice from, not that I was any the wiser for reading the instructions on the packets like.

CPO Checking on rogue-traders

So I bought the cheapest one with in-the-ear plugs.

I then walked down Clinton Street, where the police had a CPO on duty chatting to a stallholder. I assume she was there to keep an eye on the rogue street traders that have been in the local news.

Took a photo of both ways as I joined Clinton Street, a decent crowd of irritable, spitting, swearing Nottinghomians.

Broad Marsh Centre

Made my way through to the Intu Broad Marsh Shopping Centre via Bridlesmith Gate. I wanted to take a photo of the gallery there but the crowds were too dense. (If you see what I mean? Hehe)

As I got of the escalator I saw a man pulling a puppy on a lead that couldn’t keep up with him due to the polished flooring and he kept yanking the lead making the dog yelp and was swearing at it. I called out to him without thinking but he just ignored me. I couldn’t keep up with him.

Winter Wonderland
Winter Wonderland
Winter Wonderland

Bothered me that did, so much for Christmas Spirit?

I hobbled into the 99p shop and had a wander round, coming across some headphones of the same make and model of those I’d just paid £1.89 for at Wilko. So I got a pair, along with some behind the ear ones at the same price.

Some nibbles for the nurses on Monday, and then walked to the end of the centre and put and into town.

Many street artists were present again including near to C&A the Salvation Army had a group of six belting out the Christmas tunes.

Very good they were too.

So I dropped a £2 coin in a blokes collection pot.

I then walked into the City Centre to take some photographs of the Winter Wonderland Fayre and ice-rink. It was very busy.

No one else seemed to notice the shop-lifters being taken out from Primark to the police car.

The hot food stalls were doing well enough.

Even the horse ride had plenty of folk on it.

Somewhere in the crowds is the little Salvation Army band playing away

The ice-rink was full as well.

Plenty of fallers to see while I was trying to take a photo.

I fought me way through the crowds and escaped the crush without injury and made my was up King Street towards the bus-stop.

Upbeat Jazz

As I turned the corner a group of four foreign looking chappies were giving us a bit of upbeat jazz with one of them dancing away.

They were good too.

I caught the bus home and dropped off at the Co-op to get some bread then back to the hoppit.

WC.

Made some sandwiches.

Tried the headphones (The 99p behind the ear ones) but they weren’t loud enough for me dodgy ears to listen to words without missing any and struggling.

Still, I could just hear Nat King Cole singing while I updated this Diary and gorrit posted.

Took me medications at 1700hrs and did some blog reading and facebooking fer a bit.

WC.

A very slight involuntary escapage of wind caused me to adopt the usage of the air freshener… twice!

Inchcock Today: Friday 5th December 2014

I awoke with a deep sense of apprehension at 0445hrs.

This is me scrawled scribble wot I found this morning

I’d had a long sleep for me, but apparently dream filled again.

Noticed a scribbled note from myself about dreams, that I could not remember writing?

WC’d

Stated laptop and went down put kettle on and went out and moved the bins ready for collection. Returned made a cuppa and back in the bathroom took me medications then consulted the mysterious notes.

Tried to make sense of them, some I could remember bits of and why I’d scrawled the word/s, others left me bamboozled as to why.

Written: Metal boat alone lost sinking?

Memory of: I seem to have been in a massive ship on a big river – think it was trying to dock somewhere but kept sinking? Searching for someone? Fear?

Written: Fencing,  Ice cream?

Memory of: Nothing at all.

Written: Underground bunker, soldiers, girl, bombs, hula- hoop?

Memory of: Very little… Many families huddled together, death, hidden, being chased? Children?

Written: Mazes, metal runways, no escape?

Memory of: Seem to remember running along pathways being chased and trying to protect someone?

Written: Shame, disgrace, frustration, tomato soup, writing, being laughed at, prodded by walking stick?

Memory of: This one I could relate too and remember bits of fairly well. I was at a desk in a submarine trying to write (with a quill I think) but I could not for some reason.

Then I was in a bath of tomato soup on the deck of an oil tanker that had thousands of illegal immigrants swimming in the oil in the holds, and none of the crew would listen to my pleas to get them out? I decided I’d write a letter to Lynton Cox (Cyber-friend) about it? By now I was using an old typewriter and the ink ran out, so I stood on top of the mast and did some semaphore signing with flags to tell the world of the problem… as I fell off the mast I found myself in a class-room sat alone with dozens of tutors/teachers coming in and prodding me with walking sticks and telling me I was… wait for it… ‘An obnoxious old coffin ready pillock’!

Later, I think it was part of the same dream, I was having an autopsy done on me and couldn’t speak to the tell the butcher in his blue and white apron that I was still alive… then a few people came in and started clapping?

Make some sense of that someone please diagnose this for me.

Written: Driving a bus, running over people, no ticket, shooting, loud kids?

Memory of: No memory of this at all.

Written: Fire, flames, smoke, Parliament?

Memory of: All I can remember is I had a gas mask on and was trying to eat a Cornish pasty inside it, and a feeling of jubilation when I fired my water pistol?

I worked on this Diary post before I forgot the things  could remember.

Even now, minutes after typing this in and reading it back the memory is fading fast.

Although I feel in good spirits emotionally today, I’m coughing and the angina is bad again. I am feeling the cold so bad too today.

Managed to sit on my headphones – another thing to get tomorrow, providing I’m up to going out physically.

Spent hours doing graphics, blogging and Facebooking today, but didn’t go out anywhere.

Took me medications at 1655hrs.

So tired and cold.

Hey-ho.

Inchcock Arrested at Benefits Office

A retired Nottingham pensioner and former unemployed independent Bra Fitter and adjuster Juan Inchcock attended an interview in his response to an application for an increase in his benefits at the Nottingham Social Services yesterday.

He arrived in plenty of time and had to wait for his interrogator Office Assistant Manager Mr Danny Soz to return from the local bar before the security guard led him into the office for the interview. He’d still got his pyjamas on, but no one seemed to notice this for a while, then they supplied him with some clothes from the local Salvation Army stores.

The meeting soon turned into a farce of mammoth dimensions with the first question and answer:

Mr Soz: “Sit down mate… ‘hic’ un tell me yer lies now!

Inchcock: “Lies! How do you know!”

Mr Soz, the rather unconventional Nottingham Benefits Assistant Manager

Mr Soz: “I’ve bin on yer blog site mate – and you communicate wi that Mike Steeden don’t yer? Bound to be wrong un you are if yer gob-it wi that alcoholic dim-witted maniac!”

He bent down and spewed up in the waste-paper bin, farted and slowly focussed his eyes and continued blinkingly:

Mr Soz: “How much Pension are ye gerrin?”

Inchcock: “Well you must know surley, it’s on the computer innit?”

Mr Soz: “Yer, burram doing a post fer me Soz Satire at the moment… Belch! don’t wanna lose it like do I!”

Inchcock: “Oh, I’m sorry. I get state pension that’s all Mr Soz.

Mr Soz: Lying git! Passes wind.

Inchcock: “No I’m not!”

Mr Soz: “Ain’t yer?

Inchcock: “No!”

Mr Soz: “Oh an’ yer can’t manage then?”

Inchcock: “Gerrin’ food is gerrin’ ‘arder like wiv the prices going up like!”

Mr Soz: “Poor git… just eat less then… any other problems like?”

Inchcock: “I can’t gerabout very well,as yer see wiv me walking stick and arthritic knees un ‘ands yer see?

Mr Soz: “Well I cun see yer walking stick, drop yer pants and show me yer arithmetic knees!”

Inchcock: “What?”

Mr Soz: “Go on, left have a look at em mate…” Belch.

Inchcock: “Oh… alright then urgh, argh… there they are, swollen misshaped multicoloured and bloody painful”

Mr Soz: “Hahaha… ‘ow cum yer walk on them then – yer gorhere alright on ’em didn’t yer?”

Inchcock: “Yer, wiv a struggle and a lot o’ pain like”

Mr Soz: “Why didn’t yer gerra a taxi here then?” Passes wind followed by “That’s berra awt thun in!”

Inchcock: “I can’t afford a taxi I don’t gerrenough benefits!”

Mr Soz: “Yer should ask em for more then you pillock!”

Inchcock: “That’s worrave come here to do innit?”

Mr Soz: “Wot?”

Inchcock: “Ask fer more benefits like”

Mr Soz: “Is it? I’ve got yer down as cummin’ in for a job interview like?”

Inchcock: “Wot?”

Mr Soz: “Only jokin’ cocker, I like to keep it light ‘earted like… hang on a sec…” He rolled up a Golden Virginia fag lit it and spat out some phlegm then got a bottle of Absinthe 179 Proof from his drawer and took a guzzle, then continued:

Mr Soz: “So, how many kids ‘ave yer got then?”

Inchcock: “None as far as I know.”

Mr Soz: “Ah… as far as yer know eh… I bet you’ve gorra few and don’t want to pay the Child Support Agency eh?”

Inchcock: “No actually I had cancer and they took away me chances of givin’ birth with the laser gun like”

Mr Soz: “So your armed! Should I call in the security guard then?”

Inchcock: “Why would yer do that?”

Mr Soz: “If yer are armed he likes a good tussle yer see and don’t get many usually nice lad he is, do yer know him?”

Inchcock: “No.”

Mr Soz: “Yer should get to know him, he’s a scream down the pub, has us all in stitches… and the few who don’t laugh at his jokes need stitches as well..hehe haha…” Belches

Gaz Hoadley the kind Security Guard at the Benefit’s Office

Inchcock: “Look Mr Soz, what the hell are you talking abarght like?”

Mr Soz: “Gaz Hoadley the security guard, grand chap he is!”

Inchcock: “Why?”

Mr Soz: “He’s witty, likes to help others, he’s got a massive elephant of a…”

Inchcock interrupts Mr Soz: “When I asked why… I meant why are you talking about the security guard in the first place, not why he’s a great chap!”

Mr Soz: “You’ve lost me now – what’s yer name agen?”

Inchcock: “Look ‘ere mush… if yer ain’t gonna gimmee any extra help just say so for Gawd’ ns sake!”

Mr Soz: “I’ll see worra can do then, hang on Inchy… oh I did remember your name.”

With this he left the office and returned an hour later and with a smile he put out his hand to shake hands with Inchcock and said:

Mr Soz: “Good mornin’ and what can I do fer you then?”

Inchcock: “Giz a monkey!”

Mr Soz: “We don’t gi animals away yer know!”

Inchcock: “Where the ‘eck ‘ave yer bin to?

Mr Soz: “Well last year me un Gilly the missus like, went to France for a week, then we ‘ad a fortnight in Hammersmith…”

Inchcock: “No no… I’ve ‘ad enuff, I’m off… sorry to have bovvered yer!”

Mr Soz: “No trouble mate I’m here to help…”

At this point Inchcock launched himself at Mr Soz, who managed to deflect him with a nifty left hook that crumpled Inchcock in a heap on the floor.

He pressed the panic alarm and in ran Gaz the security guard who threw the prostate body of Inchcock about the room a few times then lifted him up and bit into his neck while laughing maniacally.

The police followed and they tackled Inchcock, tasered him and dragged him out to the waiting black maria.

At least Gaz the security guard had a good day.

Inchcock Today: Thursday 4th December 2014

 Thursday 4th November

Warmer today

Up and active at 0145hrs.

WC’d and checked ‘Little Inchy’ – not too tender and  no blood!

Went and made a cuppa and returned laptop on and updated yesterdays Diary. I had intended to do this last evening, but the fact that I was knackered from me standing around and being out late caused the onset of weariness and me falling asleep. Hehe.

Did some facebooking and blogging then started creating some graphics for me posts later.

WC’s and made another cuppa.

At 0600hrs, took me medications remembering to take me extra Warfarin and back to the graphicalisationing.

A bit warmer this morning than yesterday – but I can hear the wind a-blowing outside.

Got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop and set of on a walk to Sherwood.

WC’d.

Dropped the stuff off, and caught a bus to town.

And what an interesting trip it turned out to be…

The bus was almost full when I got on, I had to sit on a drop-down seat in the ‘Buggy Bay’. By the time it had travelled two more stops, we gained a woman with on of those massive for wheeled shopping trolleys, another with one of those help you walk 3 wheelers with brakes, and two women with prams! I moved to stand and a young man gave me is seat.

In two of the four disabled/elderly person’s seat were two young ladies – well…

Nobody could pass the tubby woman with her square 4 wheeler shopper to get off or on the bus – then one of the senior citizen suggested the big lady moves her trolley, so the lady with the 4 wheeler could get hers out from blocking movements – then it started, the two ladies with kids in prams launched a verbal attack on the woman who suggested the other two women move their trolleys, erroneously I might add, I think they misunderstood what the old dear was saying, the two trolley ladies had a go… it got quite analogous at times.

Eventually the two ladies with the trolleys did what the old dear suggested and all the problems were solved!

A bit of indignation, puffing and huffing were muttered – but no blood drawn!

In town I nipped in the cut-price shop and got some Lion bars, then caught the bus to Beeston. I wanted to go see if the little shop where I bought some excellent butter from last year were still selling it.

Tram works en-route delayed the journey a good while, but luckily that didn’t faze Grumpy old Inchcock at all.

When we arrived in what used to be Beeston Square, the tram works were surrounding everything – and the little shop was now just a pile of a few bricks opposite the Tesco store (See photo).

I had a pop in the B&M cheapo store but thee was nothing I fancied in stock, so put back the basket and left going to the bus-station. The odd look I got from the security guard did not faze me at all, in fact I was hoping he would approach me because I knew him from years ago at Sawley Security – I imagine he would still be the same idle thick personage he was then.

So I got another bus back into Nottingham through the tram works again and then one out to Bulwell, taking a picture through the bus window.

The journey to Bulwell was a tad interesting for a while as I could hear a woman shouting down her mobile to whom I presumed would have been her Mother. Seems she was going to eat out tonight and bring her some fish and chips back after the Bingo session… If that bloody &(/>! dog started barking again tonight she is going to throw hot water over the fence… Marks & Spencers have some Slim-jams (Whatever they are) but they are too expensive… If her benefit cheque arrives put it in the side drawer … and she’s paid the loan off this morning!

There was more, but that’s all I can remember. I was a little sad when she had to get off the bus really. Hehe!

Dropped off in Bulwell and noticed that the Lion pub was now called the Lion Revived and had been renovated nicely. Took a photo… noticed they had England flags hanging up outside. Risky that nowadays, surely we can no longer claim to be English can we? Unless they had them up for the football perhaps?

I meandered into the cheapo food shop but didn’t get owt.

I wandered into Farm Foods and got cheapo bread for the mallard ducks.

I wandered down the pedestrian road to the river and took a photo that depicts how sad and depressed the folk looked today.

As I crossed the Market Place, an elderly lady dropped her shopping bag, and it was really funny, even at the time the both of us struggling to get down and back up again collecting her stuff and re-bagging it.

Nice lady, thanked me and she poddled off cheerfully enough bless her. Just a shame no one else offered to help her.

 I hobbled on the River Leen and fed the avaricious ducks and pigeons, but the seagulls got a good bit of the bread before the ducks could. Hey-ho, yer can’t blame em.

I enjoyed a few moments stood leaning against the bridge wall and letting my mind wander back to 1962 when I used to work in the Market Place at Marsdens Stores. Many memories came flooding back of how it was then and how very contented I was. Ah well…

Got to the bus station and caught a 17 back to Carrington.

Yet again a bit of interest on this journey today too – a poor woman could not stop coughing, the poor dear had a rasping smokers-like cough and boy was it loud. I almost said something when a couple of people started ‘tutting’ when the old dear coughed. Some people eh?

As we passed the City hospital I noticed how the houses from part of the Council Housing Estate that rises up and back a bit looked like they might be of interest to some of my American cyber-friends, so I took a photo of them. Didn’t come out like I wanted though, Tsk!

Got off the bus and walked back to the flea-pit.

WC’d.

Took some bags out to the bins.

Pottered about and made some nosh.

Could I find me mobile? After a marathon search I found it.

Then could I find me reading glasses – searched for ages and was getting a little uptight with missen – naughty words were spoken!

Started the laptop, then had another search for my glasses.

Naturally I found them in the airing cupboard… yes a bit worrying but at least I found them so I could update and post this on the web.

I rang Brother-in-law Pete, and he says his legs are alright after his exertions on the ice yesterday.

Huh!

WC’d.

Inchcock Today Wed 3rd December14

Wednesday 3rd  November

Got up 0540hrs and WC’d. ‘Little Inchy’ tender but no blood whatsoever! So I did not apply any of the diminishing stock of Betamethasone corticosteroid cream.

Went down and made a cuppa, returned and took me medications as the laptop started for me to do yesterdays Diary and get it posted.

It is damned cold this morning, in the kitchen the thermometer read -1c!

How the folk in America are coping with their cold weather amazes me.

The angina started playing up again.  I must ask the doctor if she can put me back on the under-tongue tablets thingies again. I can’t remember why she took me off of them now. But there was a good reason I’m sure.

The INR level results came back. Now at 1.9 (Target 3.5), still better than last week when t was 1.4 so going the right way.  I imagine many folk on Warfarin have the same confusing up and down results without ever finding out why? Or being able to control it.

Did some Facebooking after dong the Diary post.

Created some graphics for Troll Free Zone and later use in blogs. Coreldraw9 behaving well at the moment?

Going to see brother-in-law Pete at 1400hrs dong his skating at the rink in the Nottingham City Centre Winter Wonderland display.

Good heavens it’s gone down to minus -2c now!

Got missen washed and brushed up and set off on the bus to town. Talking of buses, there were so many in town they clogged the roads… ah of course… Christmas shoppers eh? I’m quick yer know.

Walked into the slab square and met Pete near the ice-rink thingy.

The skating sessions were of 45minutes.

The Prices:

Adults 12 & Over – £8.50

Under 12’s – £6-50

Students/Senior Citizens – £6.50

Disabled – £7.50

Penguin Hire (Trainer sled) – £3.00

Pete thought the prices were reasonable, reckoned they were a tad high. But then again Pete is a lot richer than I am (Not due to his working, he retired at 59) bequeathed money yer know, better looking than me, fitter than me, he can Ice-skate and I can’t, he’s taller and less fatty than me, better looking than wot I am, attracts the women like flies to a dustbin, he’s got more and better… Oh dear I lost the plot there, sorry about that.

Jealous? Me? Huh… Yes! But he’s a great bloke really.

We had to wait a while for them to titivate the ice between sessions, and i took the opportunity while Pete was frothing at the mouth over the young lady in the payment booth, to go to the library to return my book.

Walked up the hill and into the library but could not find where to return the book? So I asked at the reception area and the lady pointed behind me to where I just walked into the place, and the two five foot long and 18inch high green and white signs, each above a large letter box opening that read ‘RETURNS’.

Oh I do feel a fool at times!

There was the most amazing little bench in the Children’s section, looked like a folded book – brilliant I thought.

Pete having an occasional rest – usually when a female was near-by I noticed!

I returned to the Ice-rink, and it was still a good while before they were allowed on the ice-rink, but out they came with Pete posing for the females and checking around as he slowly began on the ice.

It didn’t take him long t find his skates so as to put it, and he was off like a good un.

Occasionally he’s come over to me, then he’s be off again.

I managed to take many photographs, but not me best because I had to be sharpish as, do you know, the skaters were moving. Hehe!

The arthritis was getting worse all the time I stood around – not helped by the fact that this morning (for the first time ever) I’d forgotten to rub me pain gel into the knees. Tsk and double Tsk!

Annoyed with missen I got a bit niggly.

Pete really enjoyed himself on the ice,

Never mind the very high price,

Seeing him happy was very nice,

Brother-in-law Pete in action on the ice.

Enjoying himself out on the ice.

I hope he doesn’t have too many aches in the morning. Even if he does, I think he’ll reckon it was worth it for so much fun.

Afterwards we walked to Argos where between us we managed to read the small print in the catalogue and purchased a stand alone diddy DVD player to replace the one I trod-on. (I know, I know!)

Pete wanted to get some stuff from Aldi so I tagged (limped) along with him, which was fatal for the money in me pocket.

We plodded into Victoria centre where Pete bought some shampoo on offer, for Jane I thought.

We parted, and I hobbled in great pain to the bus-stop and caught one back to Carrington, very weary indeed and I’d not been ice-skating!

WC’d.

Made some sarnies and stayed awake just long enough to get the DVD working okay… then fell asleep watching the first DVD tested ‘Primeval’.

Inchcock’s News at Ten – 10 Oildrum Street that is!

Report from Juan Inchcock, retired Gas lamp wick trimmer and News at Ten reporter.

I managed to catch my first and only member of the public as he was coming out of the ‘Cash for You’ branch with his partner and five children, counting his money.

26 year old Elvis Grumpshaw. I informed him of the figures for unemployed men in Nottingham and for his views on it.

“Yer rotten innit?” He said lighting up a cigarette and spitting on the pavement. As one of his children tried to pick my pocket, he continued: “I ain’t never ‘ad a job yet, un it’s criminal it is.”

At this point he received a mobile telephone call and got out his Samsung Galaxy Note 4 Android 4.4 KitKat with the S Pen stylus, a 5.7-inch Super AMOLED display with Quad HD (2560×1440) resolution that comes with a 16MP rear camera with dual-LED flash and a 3.7MP secondary camera and is powered by a 2.7GHz quad-core Snapdragon 805 processor with 3GB RAM and 32GB internal storage with a microSD slot that can extend storage up to 128GB, Connectivity options include 4G LTE, Wi-Fi 802.11ac, Bluetooth 4.0, Infrared, NFC, and microUSB and  spoke to the person calling: “’Ello Leon… naw not at the moment bur I’ll ‘ave some later… yer same price good stuff it is… yea cheers mate”

“Nae, wot were I saying” he quipped as he entered a take-away with me following as he bought the family a Sub-Way cob for them to share between them.

“Oh yea… criminal it is how I can’t gerra job – un I’ve done me best, I gorra interview once but if I’d took the job I’d a been worse off by pounds like each week. I’d lose me housing benefit, Paternity and Jobseeker’s Allowance, Guardian’s Allowance although nthat’s only £16.35 a week fer each kid, lose me Child Tax Credit a year wot is Family element      £545 Child element: For each child £2,720, me universal credit claim ud go, me free prescriptions, me paternity grants and me help with childcare too… yer see like?

He took the time to drag down one of children from the top of the bus shelter.

I informed him that the Nottingham Council are intent in getting as many people as possible into work this year.

He went pale and looked rather dazed as he and his family used their free bus-passes and boarded the bus for home.

Unfortunately I tripped as I stepped of the pavement to cross the road to feed the pigeons.

Further reports from Inchcock will follow when he gets his walking stick repaired and is mobile again.

Nottingham’s Chief Constable and part time Brothel tester Mike Steedenski – on duty!

Yesterday the manager of Nottingham’s Patel’s Newspaper Shop, reports no shoplifters in his store for a whole day.

Nottingham’s Chief Constable and part time Brothel tester Mike Steedenski spoke with our aged reporter Juan Inchcock.

“I don’t believe the man… this is impossible in Nottingham, anywhere really but especially in Nottingham!”

He adjusted his wedding tackle and continued: “He’s just after sympathy that’s all!”

Inchcock looks up at Gaz-tops the security guard, and then left! No wonder they had no shoplifters in!

Juan left and visited Mr Patel at his store… but could not gain entry due to the entrance being blocked by three rather aggressive Doberman Pinchers.

After a while Mr Patel called off the dogs and a large security guard arrived to let Juan into the shop.

Nervously Inchcock told Mr Patel he had come to interview him about this phenomenon of no his having no shoplifters in his store for a day.

Of course seeing the Dobermans and beefy security guard he already knew the answer.

As the Security Guard looked down on Juan, he went pale, lost interest in the job, apologised and left.

Inchcock Today Tuesday 2nd December 2014

Tuesday 2nd November 2014

I woke up around 0300hrs WC – ‘Little Inchy’ swollen and tender but no blood.

Seemed to recall some of a dream I was having and tried to remember some of it.

When I woke again at 0605hrs I couldn’t remember any of it, other than it was interesting, different and worth recording. Blow-it, I really wanted to tell you about it too. Ah well.

The angina was still playing up, the arthritis was not too bad in the knees but bothersome in the hands, the haemorrhoids okay, the ulcer okay and the earache still present but bearable at the time of writing. No dizzies yet, but then it’s early innit?

Went down and made a cuppa, then returned to me sleeping bag and started the laptop to update this Diary of Woe.

Did some Facebooking and checked emails.

Got the stuff ready for the Nottingham Hospice shop and set off on me walk into Sherwood.

Biting wind and cold with it despite the sun shining.

What a sky! Flaming cold though!

The sky looked rather beautiful. I took a photo of it as I limped along to the shop.

Dropped the bits off and crossed the road and caught a bus into Arnold to get some bits of nosh.

Now after having gone about five bus stops (one eighth of the way) I got off and walked the rest of the way into Arnold. I‘d like to say it was because I felt fit and wanted to get more exercise in than normal… the truth is I’d got on the wrong bus. I know, I know… sad innit!

Fulton Foods – Heap cheapo bargains!

I walked along silently muttering to and swearing at myself into the Front Street and called in Iceland. Got some Warburton’s Thins on offer at £1 and iced lollies at the same price.

I came out and noticed two of the famously dangerous mobility scooters coming toward me and I crossed the road sharpishly. ‘Better a coward’ that to get ran-into by one of them again.

I hobbled along to the Fulton’s Store and got some cheapo smoked ham (Very tasty) miss-shapes and some baking spuds.

Feeling uncommonly weary now, I caught the (Correct numbered) bus back to Carrington.

I saw a deep message in this scene – am I finding an artist side to me nature or summat?

As I passed St John’s church I took a photo of the wall near the gate,  thought the colours and scene was rather beautiful.

The leaves lying dead on the pavement.

The wild flowers, forcing their way into the sunlight in their battle for survival.

The type of thing I would never have noticed years ago.

 Got back to the flea-pit.

WC.

Feeling well drained now. Made nosh and I didn’t even start the laptop.

Felt so tired but could I drop off? Not for hours.

Inchcock Today: Monday 1st December 2014

Monday 1st December 2014

I gorrup late fer me… about 0555hrs.

WC’d.

I tended little ‘Inchy’, only a few spots of blood this time. Having to spare the Betamethasone corticosteroid cream, because it’s running out like.

Made a cuppa, WC’d and took me medications, a little late but still.

Spent a little while reading me book.

No laptop this morning as time was getting late and I had to go get me things ready for me trip to the GP for me prescription extras, then the chemists to get it filled, then the to the QMC haematology for Warfin INR level tests. If I’m still able and not too weary after them, I’ll go to the G.U.M. clinic to try and get some more cream for little ‘Inchy’.

Made up the nibble for the GP receptionists, Chemists staff and QMC nurses.

Titivated meself and set off on me walk to the GP. Picked up prescriptions’gave em their nibbles and poddled off to the chemists. They sorted me and took the nibbles, now the walk into town.

Plenty of traffic about this morning – mucho sounding of horns I noted.

As I got to the same spot as usual, I took a photo of a block of four abandoned shops on the main Mansfield Road again.

I feel sad when I pass these premises and wonder what the plans are for the area? The locale is packed with thousands of student flats so do not offer much incentive for retailers locally to start trading?

I plodded on into town and caught a bus out to the hospital.

I took me ticket and waited me turn – didn’t wait long soon and sorted.

The only problem was trying to stop the bleeding afterwards. It took yonks to stop it.

Came out and caught bus to town, where I poddled around the slab square taking some piccies of the stalls and rides.

The ice rink had a machine being driven around on the ice.

Caught a bus back to Carrington and crossed-fingerly started the laptop.

WC’d.

Made a cuppa and returned to the laptop.

All working! Internet, Coreldraw and Word.

Good stuff laptop-wise today.

Around 1700hrs took medications.

Finished me posts to the League of Mental Men.

Then made some nosh.

Remembered I should have gone to the G.U.M. clinic for me cream!

Hey-ho.

I’ll have to go tomorrow after I’ve done my launderette visit then.

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