Satire – Page 118 – Inchie Today

Inchcock Today: Friday 10th October 2014

Woke a few times with stomach/lower abdominal pains.

At around 0400hrs I woke again, and set about trying o read me book thinking that would send me off again.

0510hrs: Many chapters later, I felt the warm wet sensation around me ‘Inch’ – but it was not as bad as I thought. So I cleaned myself up and put the cream on.

Came down about 0600hrs and started the laptop, made a cuppa and took me morning medications. Took some stuff out to the bin, and got the stuff i tried to deliver to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop yesterday in the bag for another try today. Added a few bits to it.

Did some blogging and graphics for facebook.

Went up to beautify missen, and then set off on me walk to Sherwood, going passed St John’s graveyard… St John’s foetus covered graveyard.

Onto Mansfield Road and down then up the hill to the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop. It was still closed?

I decided to take the stuff to the Age Concern shop in town, thus I caught a bus.

It was busy in town, I suppose being a Friday I should have expected it.

I espied a poster for the Contemporary Gallery in town, telling of a BBC special show about the First World War – and thought yes, I’ll have some of that thank you.

I was going to walk through Milton Street, but the crowds were very thick, so walked to the Age Concern the long way around to avoid them.

Managing to avoid the mobility scooter drivers en route. I’m sure they must get bonus points for scaring or running into people yer know?

I hoped to take some pictures of the exhibition and was really looking forward to it too.

At this point, I’d like to point out and explain about me camera situation for you all. The Oldie Olympus is still working, but tends to turn itself off when it feels like it? But the screen is developing black patches and is becoming difficult to view.

I bought a Cannon camera which I really liked a lot, it was easy to use and download to the laptop.

Then I had me last burglary. I didn’t use it for a while then couldn’t find it anywhere and thought it had been taken with the other bits.

So, I went and got conned by the kind chap a Jessops Photography shop into buying a Sony camera I didn’t really feel comfortable with, and I had to get Pete me brother in law to assemble the ‘free’ case wot cum with it and show me some pointers on how it worked.

Yesterday I found the ‘new’ Canon camera and am tickled pink. So I used it today, apart from the disinfectant and cake photo that is, for that I used the old Olympus.

I’ve done a search a few minutes ago to try and find the new Canon camera… not to worry, I must have put it somewhere safe…

**The mystery of the disappearing Poppy’s?**

Then I poddled up Bridlesmith Gate and out to the Gallery, who had a sign outside about the BBC exhibition… and another in the foyer area… then I saw this sign!

Ah well…

Off to the cheapo 99p shop in Broad Marsh. (Limping now)

There were very few people in the centre for a Friday, and the 99p shop shelves looked decidedly bare to me?

Took a photo, that cheered up the staff who descended upon me!

Still, I got a 2.5 litre Lavender disinfectant and a pack of ten Chocolate biscuits/cakes for 99p each. I got the cakes for the nurses at the QMC yer know. I might try one myself later.

A steady walk down the centre and up into town, stopping to listen to the Sax player and throw a bit into his collection box.

Took a photo of the Lord Mayors Jaguar, parked where in 2010 I was given a parking ticket when I was responding to an alarm activation when I was working in security. (Huh, blow and Tsk!)

Then up King Street, and while there were not many folk around I took a photo of Brian Clough’s statue.

Caught the bus to Carrington, and limped to the hovel, well tired and aching again.

Updated this tosh, made a cuppa, and set alarm to remind me to take the penicillin capsule later.

I must remember to text sister Jane to see if it is alright for me to visit them in them tomorrow.

Tried to do some graphics, but Coreldraw9 kept freezing… oh dear… is this the end?

Got text back from Jane. Can’t visit them they are having flu jabs in the morning then going to meal in afternoon. Ah well can’t be helped.

Hello, yobs kurking in the middle of the street again.

Ah, they’ve moved on thank heavens.

Nottingham Police Granted Special Status

It was disclosed this morning by Ashgar Tyson a City Council litter and Big Issue seller to our ace, unpaid, senile WordPress reporter Juan Inchcock that the Nottingham City Police are to be awarded a Special Preservation Order from the Nottingham City Council.

Inchcock contacted the City Council leader Con Jollins (Expenses so far this year £46,814.48) who had just returned from a fact finding mission to see how the Miami Council deals with their Gay Lithuanian Support Groups. He met him as he was being woken up at a Council meeting on spending cuts and asked him about this rumour of the Nottingham City Police being awarded a Special Status.

Mr Jollins replied; Now the Coalition Government has dramatically cut the number of officers, and their having asked for a further 2000 voluntary applications from officers for early redundancy, and their having actually received over 6,200 application, we are considering placing a ‘Protected Species’ classification on them as well. But this is being dealt with by our Social Services leader Nugget Khan (Expenses to date this year £4,646.45) He is currently in Luxembourg assessing the Social needs of immigrants from Luxembourg within Nottingham society.

He added; However, you might like to speak with his secretaries third assistant cleaners support worker, Shirley (Wage £9.37 hourly). She will be available every second Wednesday between ten and ten past ten at the Job Centre plus offices on Upper Parliament Street where she gives support and advice to the masses of Nottingham… as part of the City Council’s support group for the underprivileged.

Unsure if it was worth following up this rumour, Juan left and took his medications.

Inchcock eventually did catch up with Shirley by chance, when he was on his way to apply for a new bus-pass, Shirley’s chauffeur driven Jaguar swerved to avoid a skateboarder who had collided with a mobility scooter, and they knocked Inchcock over.

Commissioner Mike Steedenski, who was in the vehicle groping Shirley at the time bore witness that Juan had caused the accident by running away from the skateboarder and mobility scooter in the first place.

When he was released from hospital, he decided to chase the story about the Nottingham police, and ensconced at the Job Centre plus offices on the Wednesday at ten a.m. and awaited the arrival of Shirley.

He saw her arrive and put her bottle of Gin in the glove compartment, she entered the Job Centre Plus premises. Where Juan cornered her and asked for her views on the Granting of Special Status for the Nottingham Police Force.

She was very calm and collected and explained: “Any rare species is entitled to our protection to save their becoming totally extinct. Look what happened to the Dodo and Simon Dee! Do we want this to happen to our Policemen as they become more and more scarce?”

At that she walked off into the back offices with a hiccup and staggered waddle.

Juan was still not sure if he should continue with the story to press, as there seemed little interest shown by the Big issue sellers, street artists, muggers and Pay-Day loan customers he had interviewed so far that week.

As he left the premises, he was approached by an armed police officer who wished to be advised as to why Juan was in possession of an offensive weapon?

His walking stick.

Juan gave the man short change, questioned his parentage put his cap on and limped off disgusted with his treatment.

He caught the bus home to his flea-pit house, and immediately (Well, after he’d taken his medications) drafted a letter of resignation as an unpaid WordPress reporter.

As he set off on a hobble to post it off, the police arrived and conducted an interview with him about his dangerous walking stick he left the Job Centre Plus office.

Inchcock Today: Wed 8th October 2014

**He’s given up on the Meals at Home I think!**

Wednesday 8^th October 2014

Incorporating Medicinal & Meals at Home Updates

Stirred at 0345hrs: ‘Inchy’ tended to.

WC.

New aches in arms and legs; Perhaps I’d been tossing and turning in my sleep.

Cuppa and medications taken, remembering the extra penicillin capsules.

Must not forget the three others I’ve to take… hard work this yer know, trying to get the medications right with em changing so often.

Currently I’m on:

Warfarin as per weekly schedule

Furosomine 40 mg – One per day, mornings

Bisoropol Fumarate – 2.5 mg – One in morning

Docusate Sodium – 100 mg caps – One four times a day

Ramipril 10mg One a day at night

Simvastin 40 mg – One a day at night

Codeine Phosphate – 30 mg – Twice a day

Paracetomol – 500 mg – Four times a day

Ranitidine – 150 mg – One tablet twice a day

Omeprozole – 20mg – One a day

Pentoxifylline – 400mg – Three times a day

Flucloxacillin – 500mg – Four times a day

Amoxicillin Trihydrate – 250mg – One at night, One in morning

Cetraben cream – Morning and night

Clotrimazole cream – Three times a day

Phorpain Gel – Three times a day

Corticosteroid cream – Three times a day

Mondays: GP checks on the ‘Inch’ condition.

Mondays: Queens Medical Centre Haematology INR level checks.

Tuesday: Queens Medical Centre Renal and Reflux valve checks.

I’m expecting Meals at Home lady to call today – and must remember my 1530 appointment with the nurse at the GP surgery for me flu jab. Oh… just checked on me Google diary, it’s for 1425hrs. I hope the Meals people come in time… problems problems problems (Huh!).

The Situation (Nightmare) of the Meals on Wheels

Wednesday 24^th September;

Walked down through the arcade and went into the Library Contact point and asked them if they knew where I could get details of the Meals at home service. A very nice lady called them for me, and handed me the phone. They are going to send me details through the post.

Saturday 27^th September;

Got me bumf on Meals at Home.

I waddled through the crowds to the County Contact Point in the library.

Where I asked about the Meals at Home delivery day, because I thought it might on me hospital days, Monday or a Tuesday. The kind lady said they were closed there at the weekends. But if I could call on Tuesday as I go through to the Queens medical centre, she would call them for me. That was nice of her.

Tuesday 29^th September;

I called at the Contact point again, but the lady was not there.

I limped to the library and spoke with a chappie on the contact point desk. It transpired that someone from the Council will be calling to see me tomorrow sometime about it.

Wednesday 1^st October;

Remembered I’d got the ‘Meals at Home’ person calling today, so I have to remain in all day so as not to miss he/her/them. 1450hrs: Making myself poorly with holding in me urge to go to the toilet in case I miss the ‘Meals at Home’ person/s who are supposed to be calling today. Determined not to miss them/him/her and give em a reason not to serve me. Bit frustrating this waiting and not knowing lark.

1510hrs: Still waiting…

Thursday 2^nd October:

Walked to the Nottingham Council Contact Point in the main library, took a photo of the slab square.

Talked with the helpful chappie who had arranged for the Meals at Home peoples to call and see me yesterday.

Explained to him how I’d waited in for 13 hours but nobody came to see me… adding about the ailments that this failure had caused me. But I kept meself calm throughout.

“What else can I do?” he asked.

“Forget it!” I replied.

“What are you going to do then?” He inquired.

“Drop dead through starvation I suppose!” I quipped with a smile on me face. Adding “I cannot go through that again waiting, holding my water and back passage movements, the Angina starting, the high-blood pressure… never mind. But thanks for your help anyway Sir!”

Got home and found a note through the door telling me they called on Thursday AM but I was not in. Huh! They would be calling back on Monday!?!?

Friday 3^rd October;

Got back to the flea-pit and rang up the Meals at Home people.

After telling her all about it, the woman put me through to someone else – so I explained it all again in detail about Monday and Tuesdays out of the question. And began losing heart at this point when, she said; No problem we’ll call to see you next Tuesday!?!?

AGAIN I explained about Monday and Tuesday being taken up with medical procedure and tests.

“Oh yes… We’ll call on Wednesday the 8^th between 11 and 2pm then.

I said thank you and rang off mentally weary.

Wednesday 8^th;

No sign of them by 1415hrs, and I had to rush off to the GP for me flu jab.

Got back, but no note in the letter box, no on from Nottingham County Council Meals at Home had called.. again! – I give up!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 7th October 2014

Awake at 0340hrs, feeling cold despite having had the heater on all night. Brrrr! Left it on this morning. (Which makes a change from forgetting to turn it off?)

Couldn’t nod off again, so got up and put the kettle on.

Thought I’d take a photo of the usual scene outside me front door right. It were dark, dank foggy and flipping chilly.

Managed to do a bit of graphicalistion work on Coreldraw… for about five minutes, and it froze everything.

Had to force close and start everything again.

By then, it were time fer me to get things and missen ready fer launderette visit. (Tsk again!)

Turned off laptop proper, went up for a wash n shave… more blood from the ‘Inch’. I’m getting a bit worried abarght this situation now.

I wabbled off to the launderette, Mandy on duty today. Took her photo with the Canon camera.

Big John arrived and we had a natter while the washing twirled in the machines. Big J went off to the cafe for his breakfast.

Got the washing dried (cost £2.80), said me cheerio’s and limped back to the ramshackle dwelling.

Got things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop, and set off on me walk into Sherwood.

Bit of drizzle. But nowt to shout about yer know.

As I passed some houses, I remembered reading that at the last census there were 145 people registered in the first four houses! I never did follow that one up.

Dropped off at the Polish shop and got a loaf and four slices of some nice looking cooked meat with no label on it to have for me supper/dinner/lunch/tea.

Got to Hospice Charity Shop, only one old chap on his own in the shop, bless him.

Came out and the sky looked a bit threatening I thought – so I decided against a walk into town, and made for the Carrington flea-pit.

Passing this time; three mobility scooters outside the pub!

I nervously continued hobbling along as fast as possible in case any of them came out and got on ‘em while I was about like!

I just missed the rain, got in just in time.

Kettle on, laptop on and took me midday medications, then applied the creams. ‘Inch’ still leaking. (Treble Tsk!)

Updated this twaddle.

Inchcock Today: Monday 6th October 2014

**The clever photo of the inside of the bus header on top of this page was taken by my Brother-in-law Pete – Good innit? – His a clever lad he is yer know**

Inchcock Today: Monday 6^th October 2014

Up at 0435hr: Only a little blood from the ‘Inch’ this morning.

Cuppa and medications consumed.

Managed to get three posts done with graphics and posted before I had to get ready for the visit to the doctor and hospital for me INR tests.

I had to call the surgery to find out what time the appointment was for – Tsk!( Old age eh?)

I managed to get a couple of posts fininshed and onto LOMM (League of Mental Men) site, as Monday is my day to post on there.

Tried to get on the City Homes website: “There appears to be a problem with our connection – please try later” Fancy that.

I remembered to ring Dr Vinla’s surgery to find out what time my appointment is for -1030hrs.

Turned off the laptop nipped up and checked me ‘Inch’ put some more cream on. Had good wash and shave, did me teggies and creamed me various parts that needed them.

Went out into the rain and wind (Taking a photo of the end of the road to compare with the earlier ones last week) and hobbled to the surgery for 1020hrs. Forgetting to take me camera with me.

Dr Vindla had a look at the ‘Inch’ declaring the lesion much improved.

She heard the wind coming up from me, and had a look down my throat saying that the Reflux valve was sticking again.

I told her about my haemorrhoids’ bleeding badly again.

She said “We’ve only just started to stop your lesion (Inch) bleeding badly, and now you start bleeding from the other end” and cracked a smiled. I like her for a doctor, she’s a good sense of humour.

Then she took me BP stating it was better than last week.

She prescribed me some Fluclaxacillin tablets to take for a week (Just what I needed more medications hehe), and some extra 30mg Codeine Phosphates.

She asked me to let her know if the Warfarin IRN level was above 4.0 again when I get the results from the QMC later.

She then told me to book in to see her next Monday.

So I did.

Out I went into the rain and wind again. Down to the chemist to get me Penicillin capsule.

Then caught a bus into town.

Then another bus to the Queens Medical Centre haematology for me blood tests. They were not busy and I was soon out into the wind and not so much rain now, catching a bus back into town.

Had a hobble into Tesco and got some wheatmeal bread thins, cooked chicken pieces and a pack of two cream cakes… hehehe!

Caught bus back to Carrington and saw from the bus some regular yobboes lurking near the bus stop I should have alighted from. So I went on to the next stop to get off and walked the long route back to the flea-pit.

Got in and WC’d sharpishly and checked the ‘Inch’. Okay!

Put me things worra got from town away and took a Penicillin capsule (four a day) along with me late midday medications.

Made cuppa-rosie-lee and updated this tosh again.

Feeling a bit weary, but not as bad as I have been… Yahoooo!

On getting ready for me kip – the ‘Inch’ started bleeding again!

Tsk!

Inchcock’s Diary: Friday 3rd October 14

Incorporating Photograph visit of Inchcock to Nottingham’s Goose Fair on Opening Day – today

Up at 0450hrs tending to me throbbing bloodied and very sore ‘Inch’. I was tempted to put bandage on, but remembered Dr Vindla’s advice not to.

WC.

Tried to recollect dream I’d been having, but couldn’t drag it out of my brain while I clean him up applied the Clotromozole cream and filled the laundry basket again.

Got an email yesterday from me Sister and Brother in law giving me permission to visit them on Saturday but only after 1200hrs. They are also so busy, I bet they wondered how they ever managed when they were working.

Came down around 0600hrs, started laptop, made a cuppa and took me medications post haste.

(It’s stopped bleeding now)

Updated this diary.

When the new BT Infitity finally loaded after several minutes being given the option of closing or waiting for it to load notifications, I eventually got on the web! (Huh!)

Spent many happy hours doing graphics and facebooking.

Went up to cleanse shave and beautify myself and get me togs on for me walk to the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop in Sherwood. And oh dearie me… the blood from the ‘Inch’ had soaked through me undies trousers and into me dressing-gown!

Kitchen towels to the fore, and extra Clotromozole cream applied – gently, very ever so gently!

It took yonks to get it to stop again. I thought about going somewhere medical about it, but when it did stop, I chickened out.

Worried me a bit that, cause me Warfarin INR level must be pretty high for me to have stopped in on me own like.

On my walk to the Charity shop I thought it would be a good idea (Being as I’d remembered me camera) to go afterwards to the Goose Fair that was just starting on the Forest afterwards.

So I did. I managed to just miss three buses that were at the bus-stop and I couldn’t get there quick enough to catch one.

I dropped off at the wrong bus-stop, to early. So I hobbled up to the Goose Fair site, and went in the East entrance off of Mansfield Road.

The smells from the multitude of take away stalls hit me first, then a woman with double push chair hit me second; right on arthritic left knee too!

The uneven ground played havoc with me feet and knees.

The few kids that were there seemed to be enjoying themselves.

I couldn’t stop checking me Inch for leaks, spoilt me walk really.

I’ll put these photographs onto me Nottingham Goose Fair album on me Facebook page later. Might use the one about the new ride on Troll Free Zone, might give em a laugh.. or not.

Wandered through the stalls and rides (painfully cause of the uneven ground) and decided enough was enough, and left onto Gregory Boulevard.

Noticing the security staff sat gossiping and on their ipods or something like that.

The first rubbish bin I came to on the Boulevard was in a right state already, Tsk.

I limped literally back to Carrington, and then nipped bravely into the Lidl store to get some bread and bananas. That brought back the thoughts of how my ‘Inch’ was doing, but I could feel no moisture.

I’ll definitely have to see Dr Vindla. Mind you, I’ve got an appointment on Monday, I must try to find out what time cause for some reason I didn’t put it on me diary.

Hey-ho, microwave sausage sandwiched for me tonight.

I do live well yer know…

TTFN all.

Inchcock Today: Thursday 2nd October 14

**And he thought things were getting better? Read on!**

Thursday 2^nd October 14

Up at 0410hrs: Tended to the ‘Inch’ and what a mess – blood all over me my clothing and the bathroom. Bit of a job to stop it, but managed I think.

WC.

Feeling disappointed at yesterday’s wasted time waiting for the Meals at Home calling to see me and didn’t (I may mention this again, sorry.)

Problems have been caused through their non-attendance:

1) Not getting me walk in, the arthritis is worse this morning

2) My BP must have gone up even further with the angry frustrations.

3) The angina is going again this morning.

4) For some reason I feel more tired this morning than for a while?

5) Stomach ache nasty.

WC.

Went down and started the laptop, made a cuppa and tool me medications.

Anticoagulation level and dosage record had come in the post. I’m on 4.6 INR level, still way too high? Doses reduced for this week again.

WC.

Oh dear, the ‘Inch’ is bleeding again. Went up and treated the little mite again – More painful now. WC while I was up there.

The stomach is grinding and painful. Probably due to holding things in yesterday so as not to miss the Meals at Home personage/s who were supposed to come and didn’t!

Feeling bitter about it now, and uncomfortable with the extra pangs I’m suffering. (Poor old devil!)

Did some Facebooking, and WordPress, Inchcock post creating…

WC.

… Then some graphics to use later.

Did me ablutions and prettifying and got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop, Paperwork for the Nottingham City Council Contact Point and off I wobbled to Sherwood, Not much traffic about there at the moment.

Left me donations and caught the bus into town.

Flippin’ sneezing now.

Walked to the Nottingham Council Contact Point in the main library, took a photo of the slab square.

Talked with the helpful chappie who arranged for the Meals at Home peoples to call and see me yesterday.

Explained to him how I’d waited in for eleven hours but nobody came to see me… adding about the ailments that this failure had caused me. But i kept meself calm throughout.

“What else can I do?” he asked.

“Forget it!” I replied.

“What are you going to do then?” He inquired.

I poddled to the Chinese shop and got some seaweed sheets, then walked to the tram-stop intending to catch a tram to Bulwell to see if Fulton’s had any microwave sausages in.

However… still being uptight (That’s my excuse) I got on the wrong Tram! But I did remember to get me travel-pass validated before I got on, because nowadays everyone has to pay or validate before they get on a tram.

I got off at Cinderhill, which is only ¾ mile from Bulwell, not too bad.

I realised as I got off the tram and started to limp up the long stairs to the road, when this site was being built, I did the night security there, and got nobbled with a great thick plank of wood that someone dropped over the bridge wall onto me head.

That made think about doing an Inchcock’s True Tales of Woe about it later.

I took a photo of how it looks now. Then it was all mud, yobs and building plant and stuff.

At the top of the steps I noticed the Pub where the gypsies (travellers) and the Jamaican lads had a fight (That I witnesses, I’ll yers all about it in me Tale of Woe when I get it done), one death and seven hospitalised.

I limped along into Bulwell, fed the ducks and pigeons and investigated the two freezer shops next to each other. Fulton’s first, then Iceland. Bit of luck at Fulton’s, they had some Microwavable Cocktail sausages at a decent price 800g for £1.69 and got some lollies too.

Then into Iceland, got some wholemeal bread thins at £1 each and a ready meal, Potatoes baked beans and sausage for 89p! Only got one though, cause I don’t know if there are any good yet do I. (Been caught out before yer know)

Then up the road a bit to Heron freezer shop, got what I thought was a bargain, ice-cream lollies 6 for a quid. Until I got em home a saw how tiny they were that is.

Walked to bus station and caught a number 17 bus back to Carrington. The road works caused much delay and tested the poor old bus-driver to his limits. I must say he had varied vocabulary of curse words, very impressed I was.

Dropped off and walked to the flea-pit, as I turned the corner I knew something was different – took a few second to think about it then realised: No yobs, Nobody rooting through any bins either!

Got in WC and guess what? A note on the floor from Angela. Whoever she is from the Meals at Home Service. It read; Dear Mr Inchcock, we called to see you today. As you were not home we will call again on Monday between 11am – 1pm. Thank you. Angela.

I put the laptop on, made a cuppa took me afternoon medications then called the Meals on Wheels…no, the Meals at Home Service.

Bit of a farce really, the first woman I spoke to and tried to explain things too did not speak very clearly and she put me onto another gal, who had a better for me to hear voice; Took a while to explain about how I’d called in the Contact Centre and a chap had called you on my behalf telling you that Monday and/or Tuesdays was my hospital visit days and you said you’d call to see me Wednesday.

I stayed in making myself poorly holding my natural actions in for 13 hours and nobody came Wednesday.

I went toady and explained things to the gentleman at the Contact Centre.

I then went on and bought much food to go in my freezer, so no room to have anything anyway now.

I was then put through to another woman, and explained all this again.

After listening politely, she said, well we can come next Tuesday then!

I reiterated that Monday and or Tuesday are my hospital days!

Oh all right, let’s make it Wednesday 8^th.

I agreed.

I thought I ought to put this on my online Google diary to be safe; When I did, I realised I’d got a Doctor’s appointment on that Wednesday. But not until 1500 hrs.

I considered crying, but decided against it.

I had to ring them back, and tell the first woman all about it again…

She put me through to a new woman this time, and I explained it all again (Talk about War and Peace), and she said they would be arriving between 1300 and 1400 hrs.

I’ve no confidence in this at all yer know!

I got me purchases out, going soft by now and took a photo of em, no idea why, suppose after the last two days I’m losing it a bit quicker than normal?

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 1st October 2014

: So much for taking their word they would call to see me!

Wednesday 1^st October

Woke up around 0400hrs, cramps gone, but leaving aching bones. (Even typing is a tad painful)

Remembered I’d got the ‘Meals at Home’ person calling today, so I have to remain in all day so as not to miss he/her/them.

WC.

Tackled the Inch with the Clotromozole cream while it was still proud, less bleeding this morning, that was good.

Got downstairs and laptop started, made a cuppa and took medications.

Checked on Facebook and replied to some nice comments. Updated the diary. Then started on a graphic for TFZ.

WC.

Managed to get two posts and some graphic done.

**13hrs of expecting the Nottingham City Council Meals at Home to arrive – I am a fool or what?**

1450hrs: Making myself poorly with holding in me urge to go to the toilet in case I miss the ‘Meals at Home’ person/s who are supposed to be calling today. Determined not to miss them/him/her and give em a reason not to serve me.

Bit frustrating this waiting and not knowing lark.

1510hrs: Still waiting…

WC.

152ohrs: Still waiting…

WC.

1555hrs: Still waiting…

1615hrs: Still waiting…

WC. Had to relieve myself at the sink. I have gone through two rolls of kitchen towels, a bottle of bleach and a bottle of disinfectant!

1700hrs: Still waiting…

Called them on the mobile – No answer!

Wonder if I have a valid claim against them?

Bladder bad now.

1712hrs: Still waiting…

1730hrs: No signs of em yet!

1755hrs: No signs of em yet!

1808hrs: No signs of em yet!

To tired to wait any more now.

I’ll just have to call at the Council Contact point tomorrow. Huh!

Inchcock Today: Tue 30th Sept 2014

Wide awake at 0400hrs.

WC.

Remembered bits of a dream; Working at big factory. Management brought a packet of Piccadilly cigarettes to the canteen full of men… asked who they belonged to, I went forward to admit they were mine along with four other workers?

Then I was running around a factory that had bit of many components of places I’d actually worked at.

Then a big interview to sack us all – gets a bit confused here; I’m climbing catwalks above the factory and someone is chasing me with an axe… then leaving the premises being newly sacked, to the applause of the workers? That’s all I recall.

As I stirred to get up, I noticed the blood on me pyjama bottoms. Investigated the ‘Inch’, the blood on it had dried. Until that is when I had to pull back to apply the new cream on. Free flowing now, good job I have plenty of kitchen towels at hand.

Very tender but not so bloated as it has been, I gently massaged the cream in. Talk about Sting! Eventually it stopped bleeding.

Then I had the job of cleaning up the mess. Looks like I might have to try and get some cheapo pyjamas to cover for those that will be going to the launderette?

WC.

Eventually I got down and started laptop, made a cuppa and took me medications. Can’t find me grabber/picker that I bought last week? Mind you, the house is in a bit of a Steptoe & Son state.

The pain in my Inch has now turned into a hot tingling sensation, but still sore.

Assembled my now bigger laundry in two big bags, and set off for the laundry. Mandie in the laundry was looking very tasty again today – and she laughed at me recent medical exploits and that cheered me up no end – for a while.

When I’d got the driers going, I realised I’d forgot to put me rubber balls what Big John bought me. Also I’d forgotten to take Mandies nibbles. Tsk!

I departed and went back to the dump and got her nibbles, and returned to the launderette with em for her.

I set off on me walk into town to the Council Contact point to check on the meals at home system and to have a look at cheapo pyjamas at Primark.

I took the long route into town, passing the alley where the girl got raped earlier this year, the Arboretum gates and the thousands of student flats. The city was well populated with citizens of the fair Nottingham.

I took a photo of the alleyway, including as you see in the photo I hope, the condoms, wine bottle, cigarette stubs and food wrappers amongst the leaves.

I limped to the library and spoke with a chappie on the contact point desk. It Transpired that someone from the Council will be calling to see me tomorrow sometime about it.

I walked through the city centre to the Primark shop and had a look at the pyjamas on offer.

I found a ‘Large’ pair and bought them.

Caught the bus back to Carrington, dropping of early to go see Mandie and show off me pyjamas – only to notice that although the packaging had clearly marked on it ‘Large’, the actual jammies were labelled ‘Medium’ – am I lucky or what? Another job to sort out now!

Got in the hovel and put laptop on, made a cuppa.

I’ve saved this photo until the last, because I couldn’t help but see the funny side of it.

As I went passed and saw the road sign left at the fencing of the cemetery – pointing upwards! Had to laugh don’t you know.

I take it that only sinners were allowed to be buried in this place?

I did some facebooking which I enjoyed and updated this tripe.

Oh… must remember to put me cream on the ‘Inch’… back in a bit then.

All done – painfully.

Made me sarnies and ate em.

The cramps started as soon as I hit the linen. Neck fingers and legs affected. Applied lashing of pain gel. Don’t know that I should use so much in one go, but it eased the cramps a bit… or did it go away on its own?

Inchcock Today: Mon 29th Sept 14

Monday 29th September 2014

Gorrup at 0430hrs.

WC.

My ‘Inch’ was sore and painful again, took a peep and dried off the blood. Decided I’ll have to go see someone about this and get it sorted one way or the other.

Laptop started, kettle on.

Got going with me LOMM submissions and updates.

It took me until about 0820hrs to get ‘em finished. Which I did despite the old laptop going oh so slowly.

Pottered about on Facebook, some good comments come in on it.

Then posted some photo’s to My Walks of Nottingham and the LOMM albums.

WC.

Another cuppa and a biscuit or two

Then I went upstairs to pretty myself up.

As I was having a good all over wash and a shave, I spotted the blood dribbling down onto me foot!

It took about half an hour to stop it bleeding – so I decided to go see the GP Dr Vindla to see if I could have a quick word with her for advice.

Got me things ready for the Warfarin tests at the hospital and donating to the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, and set off on a hobble to the GP surgery first thing.

The receptionist phoned Dr Vindla, and I was in luck, she saw me straight away.

Anyone not wishing to read of such things please move on to past the Italic writing in red. Thank you.

Embarrassed or what? There she was toying with me Inch, while I silently whistled to meself.

It seems there is a lesion that goes about 2/3rds of the way around me Inch under the foreskin, and it was pouring blood as soon as she touched it.

She gave me a prescription for some cream and told me not to use the bandages for a week. I’ve to go back next Monday to have it looked at again. (She probably wants to take a photo of it for some Fetish site or other?) Only joking!

She told me to get my INR level checked with the surgery nurse straight away.

I think I heard a chuckle as I left the surgery though…

Booked appointment with the receptionist as I left, for Monday next, and the nurse called me into her room as I did so.

It is a new nurse, not seen her before. I wondered which nurse had left, Nurse Goebbels or Nurse Stalin? At least she had the decency to laugh out loud when I told her of me plight.

Bought a loaf and some cooked meat from the delicatessen shop.

Then I hobbled up into Sherwood to the Charity Shop.

Walked to the chemist and got me new cream for the ‘Inch’

Afterwards I caught a bus into town. Cause I wanted to take the QMC nurses their treats as wot I would have if the surgery nurse had not took me blood instead of them who I would have gone to first anyway… I’m losing this…

Got to town and caught a bus out to the Queens Medical Centre, and gave the haematology nurses their nibbles, and gave em a laugh telling em about what had happened.

The journey was horrendous, I think the driver must have been a keen stock car racer. People were swaying all over the place – in fact one bloke fell on me! This is a picture I took when I got off the bus, if anyone recognises the driver, best not get on his bus on a Monday morning!

Caught a bus back to town, and went to the library to see if the nice lady who said she would help sort me out with the meals-at-home thingy was on duty. But she was not there, so I left it until tomorrow after I get me laundry done.

Had a little limp around the slab square then up to the bus-stop back to the hoppit.

I observed a new pay-day-loan type outlet had opened; Just what Nottingham needs that is!

Dropped off and walked to the flea-pit.

Made a cuppa, put me nosh away and updated this tosh.

The cream is called Clotromozole. The leaflet says it works by destroying the fungus and yeast which has caused the infection.

It is used to treat: Ringworm infections, Skin infections, Thrush and Nappy Rash: I’m not sure which I have got though?

Possible Side Effect: Irritation or a burning sensation – Itching and redness… hmm!

Well, time to get me nosh ready now, pork sarnies with Irish tomato sauce followed by an ice-cream filled lolly.

Must wash me hands well after applying me pain gel, dermatological creams and the Clotromozole cream three times a day.

Hey-ho…