Inchcock Today – Friday 13th April 2018: Day of the Dizzies!

Friday 13th April 2018

Maori: Rāmere 13 Paengawhāwhā 2018

1230hrs: I woke with an unnatural for me, firm determination and purpose, to rise and get the laundry done! I dismounted the £300 second-hand recliner with no bother from Hippy Hilda, Arthur Itis, Anne Gyna or Duodenal Donald. (I know, it surprised me as well!).

5Fri001The seemingly aeviternal damp wetness from the bleeding lesion was still with me, though.

By 1237hrs, I was on my way down in the lift to the laundry room.

Number two elevator was working, but the one that was noisy yesterday was not. I think when I was chatting to Cyndy at the social hour yesterday, I joked about the noise being like Heavy Metal Music; She said she had reported this. She got some action, bless her.

New notices, one in the lift, the other on the notice board.


5Fri002The electronic information sign indicated 0045hrs: 5°c outside and drizzle. Drizzle, well fancy that. Hehe!

Into the laundry room, and noticed that someone had apparently left their washing in the machine. It had been dumped by someone on the draining board. I think a lot of us old uns have done this, forgetting about the laundry. But thought whoever moved it out to get theirs in, might have folded the clothes instead of just bundling them on the drainer.

5Fri003Got the washer going, and back up in the elevator.

I got the photographs prepped for using in yesterdays diary updating.

Got the Health checks done.

Had a wee-wee.


5Fri005Went for a wee-wee. Had to cleanse around the lower regions and cream applied after cleaning off the dried and fresh blood.

Back down again, to move the clobber from washer to the dryer.

The filter had not been appropriately cleaned, bits of grit and fluff had spilt into the drum. So I cleaned that up and around the door area.

Before going back up, I popped outside to take a photo to the left then right of the foyer doors.


1Mon001In the flat, I got the computer on and began to update the Thursday diary.

What a performance! It took me ages to get the stuff done on the graphics. But it did improve later.

5Fri007Got the diary finished and posted off, then made a start on this one, but within a couple of minutes it was time to go down to retrieve the laundry.

I hadn’t noticed this sign on the foyer outer-doors before. A bit late to put up now after eight months? Maybe something had taken place that is being kept from us again?

5Fri006I emptied the dryer and got the clothing folded, cleaned the filter and casing. Got the things in the bag.

Then, cleaned the drum and door.

No odd socks! Haha!

Made my way up to the twelfth floor, and noticed that the new windows in the recess 5Fri008areas where they had replaced the wooden slats, had now been covered by a board?

Into the apartment and got the washing stored away.

WDP01 Made a brew. It was terrible, bitter, sour. I checked the milk after throwing the drink away. That seemed okay. Another of the many mysteries of the chiropterophilous, cold-uncladded Woodthorpe Court!

I pressed on with this diary up to here. Then visited the WordPress Reader.

April18Made a TFZer Graphic and posted it off.

Got ablutions tended to.

Doing the medicationalisationing after the shave, teggies and shower, I tried out the new ‘Care’ haemorrhoid cream. It had a slightly more gellish texture than the other creams. But not so effective at all. Still, I’ve bought the two tubes now, so I’m not going to let them go to waste. The piles were less bothersome than they have been this morning. So I think this ‘Care’ brand will be okay but will have to use the Germoloid one when things are more painful. Not that much relief, mind, but better than nothing.

5Fri010Sorted the three black bags and tied them up, and took them to the waste chute.

I opened the blinds, to reveal a bird covered window glass on the new balcony entrance windows! Grumph! If it keeps getting poo’d on like this, with the new balcony not being fitted for three weeks yet! And then I might be one of the last ones to be done and able to open the doors to clean it up, it might take a pneumatic drill to get all the droppings off of it! Hehe!

I’ll mention it to Cathy when I talk to her.

The view will soon be obliterated!

I set off for the lift to go down. It took a long 5Fri011while because as I mentioned earlier, there is only the one lift in action today.

The weather was a little bleak, but no cold with it.

Every workman or official of Willmot-Dixon I saw on the way to the hut, had a look of gloom and unhappiness on their faces. I’m not surprised really. What with the bats delaying things and pushing their timetable all-to-cock.

Set off to the Obergruppenfurheress Wardens HQ and social shed. I remembered to take the Hyacinth Bucket DVDs to loan Cathy, who was not in the hut. Warden Deana and Julie were the only occupants. Had a chinwag with them.

5Fri012I sat in the room and was soon joined my two gals I often have a natter with but don’t know their names, Margaret, Welsh William, Mary and Roy. The bus arrived, and I had a ride three bus stops down Winchester Street.

I was feeling somewhat okay physically, apart from pains from the soles of my feet?

I wandered to the Continental Shop and got a loaf of bread and some tinned cooked pork. (The last thing I needed – Bonkers I am!)

Hobbled up to the greengrocers. Got a leek, large potato and leek. Called in the Co-op and bought a TV magazine for next week.

WDP01 I was walking up the hill to catch a bus into town and was thinking how silly I was to buy the food, just to carry it with me! The most horrible Dennis Dizzy Spell came over me. I took three paces towards the wall and used this as a support. Although it only lasted a couple of minutes and then it abated, it shook me up badly. I was sure I was going to go over.

5Fri013A lady asked me if I was alright, so I must have looked poorly? I thanked her and said I was fine now. Which I was, just weary of it happening again.

I decided to make my way back to the flats. Walked up Winchester Street Hill. Anne Gyna as I expected, gave me some bother on the road.

I thought about catching the bus up a few stops, but as you can see, I just missed it. Tsk!

5Fri014I considered taking the shortcut through the backs of the houses, but the state of the pathway put me off.

About a third of the way up the hill, where the wooden fences line the pavement, I stopped to admire the growth of the plants and weeds.

They had forced their way through the fencing and somehow sprouted sticky limbs to cling to the wood!

I took three photos and tried to line them up to show how they had shown such determination to cling to life.

Nature at its finest!

5Fri015It was if the funny turn had not happened, I was back to my self again.

5Fri016Got up onto Chestnut Walk. The instant I got on the level ground, Anne Gyna eased off.

Called into the shed, and Cathy was there. So I could hand her the DVDs. We had a chinwag I mentioned the dirty windows. She took my flat number, she’ll see if they can be cleaned from outside. Apparently, many other residents have the same problem.

I thanked the gal, Cathy, and made my way back to the apartment, put the fodder away.

Got the kettle on and did the Health Checks. Sys had shot up, but the pulse had dropped? Took the midday medications along with an extra Methyclothiazide tablet and a Beta-blocker 30g.

Started to update this diary.

The landline burst forth with its ringing tone. It was my old mate Michael. He was on his way to see me. I went down to meet him, and he had brought me some medical stuff, PPs loads of them. This was a fantastic gesture, and I appreciated it so much. He could not stay long but had a mini-natter, and off he had to go. Saying he will try to get to visit next week and stay longer. I thanked the lad and off he went. A true pal. Each time I see him, he raised my spirits, Bless Him.

5Fri017Got the meal prepared. I’m no gastrosopher, but I demolished this little lot off, and so enjoyed it. The battered onion rings and Morrison Pork Pie with some gelatine inside were both worthy of a mention in despatches tastewise. The peas were terrible, as was the egg. The beetroot was okay and the apples tasty for once. The highlight was the fresh continental sliced loaf and Anchor butter. I’ve not had any bread for a while, and this went down so well. Rated at a 9.2/10 overall.

I did the washing up and checked on the TV magazine to see what was on. This was when I realised that I had bought two TV magazines for the same week. My having forgotten that  I purchased the first one. (What a Shlub!) Still, I can leave it on the table in the reception, and someone might take it.

As for watching any TV, yet again, once more I fell to sleep at the first set of advertisements came on. Tsk!

Could I please make a request for each of my favourite TV Freeview channels to show the following to finish before 1700hrs each day. Hustle, New Tricks, Open All Hous. Last of the Summer Wine, Hetty Wainthroppe Investigates, Red Dwarf, Dads Army, Auf Wiedersehen Pet, The Blue Planet, All animal documentaries, Pie in the sky, The Good Life, The A-Team, Star Trek original, Keeping up appearances, Jonathan Creek, Frost, Heartbeat, and any Steven Seagal, Clint Eastwood, Denzil Washington, Bruce Willis, and Norman Wisdom films, please.

Also, can you put sub-titles on them as well if you don’t mind? Thank You.


10 thoughts on “Inchcock Today – Friday 13th April 2018: Day of the Dizzies!

  1. Yes, the closed captions are a blessing for those of us with hearing issues. I note, too, I recently found them handy for a film set in Yorkshire where I had some issues understanding the dialect but could make better sense of it by seeing the unfamiliar words and expression written out – I stopped the video and googled the expressions so I understood what was happening! (When will the english learn to speak English?! LOL!)

      • Hey, I visited Charleston, South Carolina a few years ago, and the fellow in the hotel periodical kiosk had an accent that took me almost a week to understand! (Then it was time to go home to the central part of the US where our accent is judged to be neutral, the standard Ameroican accent.)

      • It’s amazing all these ‘local’ accents, Doug. A few words of UK English you might know of her:
        1. Tosser – Idiot
        2. Cock-up – Screw up
        3. Bloody – Damn
        4. Give You A Bell – Call you
        5. Blimey! – My Goodness
        6. Wanker – Idiot
        7. Gutted – Devastated
        8. Bespoke – Custom Made
        9. Chuffed – Proud
        10. Fancy – Like
        11. Sod Off – Piss off
        12. Lost the Plot – Gone Crazy
        13. Fortnight – Two Weeks
        14. Sorted – Arranged
        15. Hoover – Vacuum
        16. Kip – Sleep or nap
        17. Bee’s Knees – Awesome
        18. Know Your Onions – Knowledgeable
        19. Dodgy – Suspicious
        20. Wonky – Not right
        21. Wicked – Cool!
        22. Whinge – Whine
        23. Tad – Little bit
        24. Tenner – £10
        25. Fiver – £5
        26. Skive – Lazy or avoid doing something
        27. Toff – Upper Class Person
        28. Punter – Customer/Prostitute’s Client
        29. Scouser – Someone from Liverpool
        30. Quid – £
        31. Taking the Piss – Screwing around32. Pissed – Drunk
        33. Loo – Toilet
        34. Nicked – Stolen
        35. Nutter – Crazy Person
        36. Knackered – Tired
        37. Gobsmacked – Amazed
        38. Dog’s Bollocks – Awesome
        39. Chap – Male or friend
        40. Bugger – Jerk
        41. Bog Roll – Toilet Paper
        42. Bob’s Your Uncle – There you go!
        43. Anti-Clockwise – We Say Counter Clockwise
        44. C of E – Church of England
        45. Pants – Panties
        46. Throw a Spanner in the Works – Screw up
        47. Zed – We say ZZZZZZZ
        48. Absobloodylootely – YES!
        49. Nosh – Food
        50. One Off – One time only
        51. Shambles – Mess
        52. Arse-over-tit – Fall over
        53. Brilliant! – Great!
        54. Dog’s Dinner – Dressed Nicely
        55. Up for it – Willing to have sex
        56. On the Pull – Looking for sex
        57. Made Redundant – Fired from a job
        58. Easy Peasy – Easy
        59. See a Man About a Dog – Do a deal or take a dump
        60. Up the Duff – Pregnant
        61. DIY – Do It Yourself home improvements
        62. Chat Up – Flirt
        63. Fit – Hot
        64. Arse – Ass
        65. Strawberry Creams – Breasts
        66. Shag – Screw
        67. Gentleman Sausage – Penis
        68. Twigs & Berries – Genitalia
        69. Fanny – Vagina
        70. Bollocks – Balls
        71. Ponce – Poser
        72. Don’t Get Your Knickers in a Twist – Don’t Get worked up
        73. The Telly – Television
        74. Bangers – Sausage
        75. Chips – French Fries
        76. Daft Cow – Idiot
        77. Do – Party
        78. Uni – College/University
        79. Starkers – Naked
        80. Smeg – From Red Dwarf
        81. Bits ‘n Bobs – Various things
        82. Anorak – A person weirdly interested in something
        83. Shambles – bad shape/plan gone wrong
        84. I’m Off to Bedfordshire – Going to bed
        85. Her Majesty’s Pleasure – To be in prison
        86. Horses for Courses – Won’t work for someone else
        87. John Thomas – Penis
        88. Plastered – Drunk
        89. Meat and Two Veg – Genitalia
        90. Knob Head – Idiot/Dickhead
        91. Knob – Penis
        92. Chav – White trash
        93. It`s monkeys outside – it is very cold
        94. Stag Night – Bachelor Party
        95. Ace – Cool!
        96. Plonker – Idiot
        97. Dobber – Penis
        98. BellEnd – Penis
        99. Blighty – Britain
        100. Rubbish – Garbage or ‘That’s crap!’
        I bet you use many of them?

      • A lot are new to me, and many are familiar, thanks to watching too many British comedies on public television. LOL! That’s why they call public television “educational tv”!

      • Interesting though, Doug.
        Thoght about you the other night when a programme came on Freeview. I looked it up on the web. It said: My Cat from Hell. An American reality television series that airs on Animal Planet and premiered in May 2011. It stars Jackson Galaxy, a cat behaviorist by day and a musician by night, who visits the homes of cat owners in order to resolve conflicts or behavior issues between the owners and their cats or between the cats and other pets. Behavioral issues can include attacks by the cats on their owners.
        Cor, Blimey!
        Hope the kitties and you are well.

      • That’s one of my favorite programs! I watch it and think, “Well, mine are naughty, especially Dougy. But they only qualify as cats from heck compared with the featured kitty on the program today, Cougar!”

  2. “Cougar” is a fictional cat composed of many of the featured felines on that program. Jackson Galaxy regularly sticks his hands into a shredder of a kitty hiding under a bed. Many times, a spouse threatens divorce if the cat doesn’t go, but this is Happy Time television: The cat always reforms its ways, and the spouse becomes it’s best buddy and champion! Usually all it takes is a miracle.

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