Inchcock Today: Thursday 4th December 2014

 Thursday 4th November

Warmer today

Up and active at 0145hrs.

WC’d and checked ‘Little Inchy’ – not too tender and  no blood!

Went and made a cuppa and returned laptop on and updated yesterdays Diary. I had intended to do this last evening, but the fact that I was knackered from me standing around and being out late caused the onset of weariness and me falling asleep. Hehe.

Did some facebooking and blogging then started creating some graphics for me posts later.

WC’s and made another cuppa.

At 0600hrs, took me medications remembering to take me extra Warfarin and back to the graphicalisationing.

A bit warmer this morning than yesterday – but I can hear the wind a-blowing outside.

Got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop and set of on a walk to Sherwood.

WC’d.

Dropped the stuff off, and caught a bus to town.

And what an interesting trip it turned out to be…

The bus was almost full when I got on, I had to sit on a drop-down seat in the ‘Buggy Bay’. By the time it had travelled two more stops, we gained a woman with on of those massive for wheeled shopping trolleys, another with one of those help you walk 3 wheelers with brakes, and two women with prams! I moved to stand and a young man gave me is seat.

In two of the four disabled/elderly person’s seat were two young ladies – well…

Nobody could pass the tubby woman with her square 4 wheeler shopper to get off or on the bus – then one of the senior citizen suggested the big lady moves her trolley, so the lady with the 4 wheeler could get hers out from blocking movements – then it started, the two ladies with kids in prams launched a verbal attack on the woman who suggested the other two women move their trolleys, erroneously I might add, I think they misunderstood what the old dear was saying, the two trolley ladies had a go… it got quite analogous at times.

Eventually the two ladies with the trolleys did what the old dear suggested and all the problems were solved!

A bit of indignation, puffing and huffing were muttered – but no blood drawn!

In town I nipped in the cut-price shop and got some Lion bars, then caught the bus to Beeston. I wanted to go see if the little shop where I bought some excellent butter from last year were still selling it.

Tram works en-route delayed the journey a good while, but luckily that didn’t faze Grumpy old Inchcock at all.

04Th03When we arrived in what used to be Beeston Square, the tram works were surrounding everything – and the little shop was now just a pile of a few bricks opposite the Tesco store (See photo).

I had a pop in the B&M cheapo store but thee was nothing I fancied in stock, so put back the basket and left going to the bus-station. The odd look I got from the security guard did not faze me at all, in fact I was hoping he would approach me because I knew him from years ago at Sawley Security – I imagine he would still be the same idle thick personage he was then.

So I got another bus back into Nottingham through the tram works again and then one out to Bulwell, taking a picture through the bus window.

The journey to Bulwell was a tad interesting for a while as I could hear a woman shouting down her mobile to whom I presumed would have been her Mother. Seems she was going to eat out tonight and bring her some fish and chips back after the Bingo session… If that bloody &(/>! dog started barking again tonight she is going to throw hot water over the fence… Marks & Spencers have some Slim-jams (Whatever they are) but they are too expensive… If her benefit cheque arrives put it in the side drawer … and she’s paid the loan off this morning!

There was more, but that’s all I can remember. I was a little sad when she had to get off the bus really. Hehe!

Dropped off in Bulwell and noticed that the Lion pub was now called the Lion Revived and had been renovated nicely. Took a photo… noticed they had England flags hanging up outside. Risky that nowadays, surely we can no longer claim to be English can we? Unless they had them up for the football perhaps?

I meandered into the cheapo food shop but didn’t get owt.

I wandered into Farm Foods and got cheapo bread for the mallard ducks.

I wandered down the pedestrian road to the river and took a photo that depicts how sad and depressed the folk looked today.

As I crossed the Market Place, an elderly lady dropped her shopping bag, and it was really funny, even at the time the both of us struggling to get down and back up again collecting her stuff and re-bagging it.

Nice lady, thanked me and she poddled off cheerfully enough bless her. Just a shame no one else offered to help her.

 I hobbled on the River Leen and fed the avaricious ducks and pigeons, but the seagulls got a good bit of the bread before the ducks could. Hey-ho, yer can’t blame em.

I enjoyed a few moments stood leaning against the bridge wall and letting my mind wander back to 1962 when I used to work in the Market Place at Marsdens Stores. Many memories came flooding back of how it was then and how very contented I was. Ah well…

Got to the bus station and caught a 17 back to Carrington.

Yet again a bit of interest on this journey today too – a poor woman could not stop coughing, the poor dear had a rasping smokers-like cough and boy was it loud. I almost said something when a couple of people started ‘tutting’ when the old dear coughed. Some people eh?

As we passed the City hospital I noticed how the houses from part of the Council Housing Estate that rises up and back a bit looked like they might be of interest to some of my American cyber-friends, so I took a photo of them. Didn’t come out like I wanted though, Tsk!

Got off the bus and walked back to the flea-pit.

WC’d.

Took some bags out to the bins.

Pottered about and made some nosh.

Could I find me mobile? After a marathon search I found it.

Then could I find me reading glasses – searched for ages and was getting a little uptight with missen – naughty words were spoken!

Started the laptop, then had another search for my glasses.

Naturally I found them in the airing cupboard… yes a bit worrying but at least I found them so I could update and post this on the web.

I rang Brother-in-law Pete, and he says his legs are alright after his exertions on the ice yesterday.

Huh!

WC’d.

Inchcock Today Wed 3rd December14

Wednesday 3rd  November

Got up 0540hrs and WC’d. ‘Little Inchy’ tender but no blood whatsoever! So I did not apply any of the diminishing stock of Betamethasone corticosteroid cream.

Went down and made a cuppa, returned and took me medications as the laptop started for me to do yesterdays Diary and get it posted.

It is damned cold this morning, in the kitchen the thermometer read -1c!

How the folk in America are coping with their cold weather amazes me.

The angina started playing up again.  I must ask the doctor if she can put me back on the under-tongue tablets thingies again. I can’t remember why she took me off of them now. But there was a good reason I’m sure.

The INR level results came back. Now at 1.9 (Target 3.5), still better than last week when t was 1.4 so going the right way.  I imagine many folk on Warfarin have the same confusing up and down results without ever finding out why? Or being able to control it.

Did some Facebooking after dong the Diary post.

Created some graphics for Troll Free Zone and later use in blogs. Coreldraw9 behaving well at the moment?

Going to see brother-in-law Pete at 1400hrs dong his skating at the rink in the Nottingham City Centre Winter Wonderland display.

Good heavens it’s gone down to minus -2c now!

Got missen washed and brushed up and set off on the bus to town. Talking of buses, there were so many in town they clogged the roads… ah of course… Christmas shoppers eh? I’m quick yer know.

Walked into the slab square and met Pete near the ice-rink thingy.

The skating sessions were of 45minutes.

The Prices:

Adults 12 & Over – £8.50

Under 12’s – £6-50

Students/Senior Citizens – £6.50

Disabled – £7.50

Penguin Hire (Trainer sled) – £3.00

Pete thought the prices were reasonable, reckoned they were a tad high. But then again Pete is a lot richer than I am (Not due to his working, he retired at 59) bequeathed money yer know, better looking than me, fitter than me, he can Ice-skate and I can’t, he’s taller and less fatty than me, better looking than wot I am, attracts the women like flies to a dustbin, he’s got more and better… Oh dear I lost the plot there, sorry about that.

Jealous? Me? Huh… Yes! But he’s a great bloke really.

We had to wait a while for them to titivate the ice between sessions, and i took the opportunity while Pete was frothing at the mouth over the young lady in the payment booth, to go to the library to return my book.

Walked up the hill and into the library but could not find where to return the book? So I asked at the reception area and the lady pointed behind me to where I just walked into the place, and the two five foot long and 18inch high green and white signs, each above a large letter box opening that read ‘RETURNS’.

Oh I do feel a fool at times!

There was the most amazing little bench in the Children’s section, looked like a folded book – brilliant I thought.

Pete having an occasional rest – usually when a female was near-by I noticed!

I returned to the Ice-rink, and it was still a good while before they were allowed on the ice-rink, but out they came with Pete posing for the females and checking around as he slowly began on the ice.

It didn’t take him long t find his skates so as to put it, and he was off like a good un.

Occasionally he’s come over to me, then he’s be off again.

I managed to take many photographs, but not me best because I had to be sharpish as, do you know, the skaters were moving. Hehe!

The arthritis was getting worse all the time I stood around – not helped by the fact that this morning (for the first time ever) I’d forgotten to rub me pain gel into the knees. Tsk and double Tsk!

Annoyed with missen I got a bit niggly.

Pete really enjoyed himself on the ice,

Never mind the very high price,

Seeing him happy was very nice,

Brother-in-law Pete in action on the ice.

Enjoying himself out on the ice.

I hope he doesn’t have too many aches in the morning. Even if he does, I think he’ll reckon it was worth it for so much fun.

Afterwards we walked to Argos where between us we managed to read the small print in the catalogue and purchased a stand alone diddy DVD player to replace the one I trod-on. (I know, I know!)

Pete wanted to get some stuff from Aldi so I tagged (limped) along with him, which was fatal for the money in me pocket.

We plodded into Victoria centre where Pete bought some shampoo on offer, for Jane I thought.

We parted, and I hobbled in great pain to the bus-stop and caught one back to Carrington, very weary indeed and I’d not been ice-skating!

WC’d.

Made some sarnies and stayed awake just long enough to get the DVD working okay… then fell asleep watching the first DVD tested ‘Primeval’.

Inchcock’s News at Ten – 10 Oildrum Street that is!

Report from Juan Inchcock, retired Gas lamp wick trimmer and News at Ten reporter.

I managed to catch my first and only member of the public as he was coming out of the ‘Cash for You’ branch with his partner and five children, counting his money.

26 year old Elvis Grumpshaw. I informed him of the figures for unemployed men in Nottingham and for his views on it.

“Yer rotten innit?” He said lighting up a cigarette and spitting on the pavement. As one of his children tried to pick my pocket, he continued: “I ain’t never ‘ad a job yet, un it’s criminal it is.”

At this point he received a mobile telephone call and got out his Samsung Galaxy Note 4 Android 4.4 KitKat with the S Pen stylus, a 5.7-inch Super AMOLED display with Quad HD (2560×1440) resolution that comes with a 16MP rear camera with dual-LED flash and a 3.7MP secondary camera and is powered by a 2.7GHz quad-core Snapdragon 805 processor with 3GB RAM and 32GB internal storage with a microSD slot that can extend storage up to 128GB, Connectivity options include 4G LTE, Wi-Fi 802.11ac, Bluetooth 4.0, Infrared, NFC, and microUSB and  spoke to the person calling: “’Ello Leon… naw not at the moment bur I’ll ‘ave some later… yer same price good stuff it is… yea cheers mate”

“Nae, wot were I saying” he quipped as he entered a take-away with me following as he bought the family a Sub-Way cob for them to share between them.

“Oh yea… criminal it is how I can’t gerra job – un I’ve done me best, I gorra interview once but if I’d took the job I’d a been worse off by pounds like each week. I’d lose me housing benefit, Paternity and Jobseeker’s Allowance, Guardian’s Allowance although nthat’s only £16.35 a week fer each kid, lose me Child Tax Credit a year wot is Family element      £545 Child element: For each child £2,720, me universal credit claim ud go, me free prescriptions, me paternity grants and me help with childcare too… yer see like?

He took the time to drag down one of children from the top of the bus shelter.

I informed him that the Nottingham Council are intent in getting as many people as possible into work this year.

He went pale and looked rather dazed as he and his family used their free bus-passes and boarded the bus for home.

Unfortunately I tripped as I stepped of the pavement to cross the road to feed the pigeons.

Further reports from Inchcock will follow when he gets his walking stick repaired and is mobile again.

Nottingham’s Chief Constable and part time Brothel tester Mike Steedenski – on duty!

Yesterday the manager of Nottingham’s Patel’s Newspaper Shop, reports no shoplifters in his store for a whole day.

Nottingham’s Chief Constable and part time Brothel tester Mike Steedenski spoke with our aged reporter Juan Inchcock.

“I don’t believe the man… this is impossible in Nottingham, anywhere really but especially in Nottingham!”

He adjusted his wedding tackle and continued: “He’s just after sympathy that’s all!”

Inchcock looks up at Gaz-tops the security guard, and then left! No wonder they had no shoplifters in!

Juan left and visited Mr Patel at his store… but could not gain entry due to the entrance being blocked by three rather aggressive Doberman Pinchers.

After a while Mr Patel called off the dogs and a large security guard arrived to let Juan into the shop.

Nervously Inchcock told Mr Patel he had come to interview him about this phenomenon of no his having no shoplifters in his store for a day.

Of course seeing the Dobermans and beefy security guard he already knew the answer.

As the Security Guard looked down on Juan, he went pale, lost interest in the job, apologised and left.

Inchcock Today Tuesday 2nd December 2014

Tuesday 2nd November 2014

I woke up around 0300hrs WC – ‘Little Inchy’ swollen and tender but no blood.

Seemed to recall some of a dream I was having and tried to remember some of it.

When I woke again at 0605hrs I couldn’t remember any of it, other than it was interesting, different and worth recording. Blow-it, I really wanted to tell you about it too. Ah well.

The angina was still playing up, the arthritis was not too bad in the knees but bothersome in the hands, the haemorrhoids okay, the ulcer okay and the earache still present but bearable at the time of writing. No dizzies yet, but then it’s early innit?

Went down and made a cuppa, then returned to me sleeping bag and started the laptop to update this Diary of Woe.

Did some Facebooking and checked emails.

Got the stuff ready for the Nottingham Hospice shop and set off on me walk into Sherwood.

Biting wind and cold with it despite the sun shining.

What a sky! Flaming cold though!

The sky looked rather beautiful. I took a photo of it as I limped along to the shop.

Dropped the bits off and crossed the road and caught a bus into Arnold to get some bits of nosh.

Now after having gone about five bus stops (one eighth of the way) I got off and walked the rest of the way into Arnold. I‘d like to say it was because I felt fit and wanted to get more exercise in than normal… the truth is I’d got on the wrong bus. I know, I know… sad innit!

Fulton Foods – Heap cheapo bargains!

I walked along silently muttering to and swearing at myself into the Front Street and called in Iceland. Got some Warburton’s Thins on offer at £1 and iced lollies at the same price.

I came out and noticed two of the famously dangerous mobility scooters coming toward me and I crossed the road sharpishly. ‘Better a coward’ that to get ran-into by one of them again.

I hobbled along to the Fulton’s Store and got some cheapo smoked ham (Very tasty) miss-shapes and some baking spuds.

Feeling uncommonly weary now, I caught the (Correct numbered) bus back to Carrington.

I saw a deep message in this scene – am I finding an artist side to me nature or summat?

As I passed St John’s church I took a photo of the wall near the gate,  thought the colours and scene was rather beautiful.

The leaves lying dead on the pavement.

The wild flowers, forcing their way into the sunlight in their battle for survival.

The type of thing I would never have noticed years ago.

 Got back to the flea-pit.

WC.

Feeling well drained now. Made nosh and I didn’t even start the laptop.

Felt so tired but could I drop off? Not for hours.

Inchcock Today: Monday 1st December 2014

Monday 1st December 2014

I gorrup late fer me… about 0555hrs.

WC’d.

I tended little ‘Inchy’, only a few spots of blood this time. Having to spare the Betamethasone corticosteroid cream, because it’s running out like.

Made a cuppa, WC’d and took me medications, a little late but still.

Spent a little while reading me book.

No laptop this morning as time was getting late and I had to go get me things ready for me trip to the GP for me prescription extras, then the chemists to get it filled, then the to the QMC haematology for Warfin INR level tests. If I’m still able and not too weary after them, I’ll go to the G.U.M. clinic to try and get some more cream for little ‘Inchy’.

Made up the nibble for the GP receptionists, Chemists staff and QMC nurses.

Titivated meself and set off on me walk to the GP. Picked up prescriptions’gave em their nibbles and poddled off to the chemists. They sorted me and took the nibbles, now the walk into town.

Plenty of traffic about this morning – mucho sounding of horns I noted.

As I got to the same spot as usual, I took a photo of a block of four abandoned shops on the main Mansfield Road again.

I feel sad when I pass these premises and wonder what the plans are for the area? The locale is packed with thousands of student flats so do not offer much incentive for retailers locally to start trading?

I plodded on into town and caught a bus out to the hospital.

I took me ticket and waited me turn – didn’t wait long soon and sorted.

The only problem was trying to stop the bleeding afterwards. It took yonks to stop it.

Came out and caught bus to town, where I poddled around the slab square taking some piccies of the stalls and rides.

The ice rink had a machine being driven around on the ice.

Caught a bus back to Carrington and crossed-fingerly started the laptop.

WC’d.

Made a cuppa and returned to the laptop.

All working! Internet, Coreldraw and Word.

Good stuff laptop-wise today.

Around 1700hrs took medications.

Finished me posts to the League of Mental Men.

Then made some nosh.

Remembered I should have gone to the G.U.M. clinic for me cream!

Hey-ho.

I’ll have to go tomorrow after I’ve done my launderette visit then.

Inchcock Today: Sunday 30th November 2014

Sunday 30th November 2014

Bestest tea-bags fer me!

I forced myself to raise-up and into imitation life at 0530hrs.

Made a mug of Thompsopn’s Punjana Tea – gorgeous!

WC.

Got the things ready for me visit to Sister Jane and Brother-in-law Pete.

Wash and brush-up taking place (A mammoth task!).

Oh dear me… blood coming from ‘Little Inchy!’ Applied the Betamethasone corticosteroid cream and crossed me fingers!

A thriving community?

I set off on me walk into town to catch the West Bridgford bus.

Pete rang as I was taking a photograph of another part of Mansfield Road about half a mile from the City Centre to confirm I’m to meet him at the Co-op on Central Avenue in West Bridgford.

Hey-ho, Hey-ho it’s off to town I go…

Caught the bus and met Pete, nice to see him looking so good. We had a natter and walked to his palace… house.

Jane was having a bit of bother with her tummy again, I gave them some nibbles and pain gel and tablets.

The cats (Apart from Fooey who slept through me visit) ignored me professionally as cats do.

We had a good chinwag, and arranged to meet Pete on Wednesday in the city centre, where he is going to do a bit of skating on the ice-rink. I’d have a go as well… but I don’t want to embarrass him like. (Ahem!) That is if it all goes okay tomorrow with me INR level tests.

Sister Jane – poorly, but still looking good!

Took a photo of Sister Jane, after asking her to wear a straw hat that I am fond of seeing her in. She reluctantly agreed bless her.

I bidded them farewell and caught a bus into town.

Walked into Victoria Centre (Very busy today), and called at a shop selling cheapo Lion bars at 4 for a quid and purchased some to add to the nibbles for the haematology nurses tomorrow.

As I was on my way out of the centre I saw my first shoplifters of the season being unwillingly being arrested and removed by the Police Ossifers.

Why did I take this? No idea!

 When I got to the Carrington bus-stop, opposite I noticed Corel Bookmakers next to Cope’s Jewellers – and for some reason took a photo of them – I’m blowed if I can remember why now?

No doubt something deep, witty, creative, satirical and /or brilliant caused me to do this… but what?

 Caught the bus to Carrington and dropped off at the Co-operative Society shop next to the Pancho Chip shop – and I felt sure I could taste the roast pork slices I bought there the other day?

Getting murky early today!

It was beginning to get a little murky early as I walked along the road and turned into Muggers Alley on my way back to the hovel.

Got in WC’d and made some sandwiches and a cuppa.

Got the laptop working and Coreldraw9 opened quickly, the Chrome opened without any problems too!

The angina playing up a tad.

Updated and finished this Diary as the eyelids became heavy…

Inchcock Today: Sat 29th November 2014

Saturday 29th November 2014

Decent sleep but cannot remember the dreams, yet I seem to know I’d had them?

Up at 0455hrs.

Coughing and sneezing this morning.

WC.

Started laptop, put hot water heater on, went down and made a cuppa got medications, then returned upstairs, WC, the laptop would not let me onto the net!

Went down and restarted the BT box.

Still no connection.

Turned off laptop and restarted.

Still no connection.

Went down and turned the BT box off altogether then restarted it.

Still no connection.

Clicked on BT Broadband Help – but that said it could not be connected try again. So I did, three times, same message?

Turned off laptop and restarted it.

Still coughing and sneezing this morning.

Connection made – I have contact with the outside world again… but slowly.

I posted me Diary for yesterday on the Troll Free Zone.

Got to go to the bank this morning to try and sort out my new card.

Got missen and me things ready and started off on me walk into town – stopping off en route on Mansfield Road to pick up me prescriptions from the GP surgery. When I got there I realised it was a Saturday and they ere closed. (I’m quick like that yer know)

Me starting point for the walk into town from Carrington.

I set off at a steady 1mph or so into town.

When I half way up the hill on Mansfield Road, I espied that on the bus lane all the way up there was the prettiest almost fractal-like spillages of

diesel.

They do not show up on the photo on the left like I’d hoped, but they looked like works of art colourful that should have been in a gallery somewhere.

I pressed on down Mansfield Road ans noticed two shops wedged between students flats on he right hand side.

There are many retail outlets in the area that are in the same condition as these shops. So sad.

I got in town and went to the bank first to get assistance on me three problems:

Changing my pin number – Memorable name ID and unblocking.

A young man sorted me with great aplomb. I thanked him and walked to catch a tram into Hucknall to Tesco now me card is working and get some nosh. Bread, yoghurt Curls and cooked bacon slices.

On the tram I took a photo because I could not believe there were so few people on it for a Saturday morning?

Different story coming back though packed in like sardines we were.. like sardines!

Got back into Nottingham and had a wander through the city centre taking a few photographs for my many wonderful fans, supporters and fellow bloggers. (Hehe!)

I started in the Exchange shopping mall underneath the Council House.

They ere all offering a Black Friday Discount, but the prices were still high to my mind  a bit posh these shops fer me.

Anyway… What’s all this ‘Black Friday’ stuff then?

I’m sure I’ve never heard of it before? Does it mean Christmas Sales?

Then I limped down into the Slab Square.

The stalls were doing a roaring trade, but the Gypsy looking woman in the little Roast Chestnut box still had no prices on display I noticed?

Plenty of apprentice muggers… I mean children about today.

Even the Ice-Rink had attracted some participants to have a go. Some were proficient (Well one anyway), some went on in sandal-like footwear others had blades on.

They even supplied supporting Penguins for the kids to use to help them keep their balance as they whirled around the ice. (See photographs).

They were playing loud jolly music over speakers and folk genuinely seemed to be having a good time without ipod/pads.

Nice to see.

I caught the bus back to Carrington, a very tired and leg weary lad.

As I got off the bus, the smell of cooked food from the chippy… bearing in mind it is nine days since I had a hot meal, proved too tempting and I weakened and went in an got roast potatoes and roast belly pork – rushed home (When I say rushed… I limped a little faster than usual) to keep em warm.

Jolly good too – I got in, WC’s made a cuppa and attacked the fodder.

Now I am belching, have stomach ache and am bloated! (Hehehe serves me right too!) 

Started laptop, and had to go through restarting again before it would allow me access to the internet.

Tsk!

Passing wind and belching a bit still.

Finished an Inchcocks True Tale of Woe about when I was working in security and posted it.

Tired now…

Further Guarding Escapades/Incidents – Alarming Tale in Derby

The Security control room called me at home, asking me to go to a large Derby electrical retailer, who’d been hit the night before and needed emergency cover.

I asked if I could use a company mobile but no. So I went in my Skoda Estelle.

I set off, finding the famous (and now defunct) Powerhouse store, on a retail park, right next to one of their competitors (Comet- also now defunkt). Good Britain innit?

The raiders had blasted their way through a breeze block wall, and exited the same way, with many thousands of pounds worth of TVs, videos, etc. The wall had been temporarily blocked up, but could not be properly secured until the Monday.

I was given the door codes (no keys), and told to stay in the shop area at all times (where the damaged wall was and the kettle and WC was not), and not to stay in the kitchen area.

The staff departed about 1845hrs, and I took a look around to familiarise myself with the layout. Then made a flask of tea, and brought it along with my sandwiches, into the shop area, settling in a chair at the inquiry desk, facing about 60 TV screens all on showing the same channel, and surrounded by shelves of radios, toaster etc.

Around 1900hrs came a knocking at the back door!

It was the manageress who had forgotten to take some paperwork with her.

She went into the back office to collect them, then returned to the shop to ask me to release her, during which she said; “You can change the channels if you want to, the remotes are in that draw” Pointing to a draw in the desk where I had been sitting.

Off she went, and I delved into the remote controls, there were about a hundred or so in the draw.

After managing to get about 15 of the TV’s on different channels, loud alarms began ringing from one of the shelving units. I eventually located the source of the alarm on the radio display shelves, and realised that a code was needed to deactivate/silence the horrible grating noises.

Without the code, all I could do was press ‘silence’, and after about three minutes the klaxon’s bells and sirens would start again!

Our Officer in the Control Room, name of Bob was ever alert as usual…

Having no contact numbers for the firm’s staff, I rang our Control Room, asking them to try and contact the Manageress, and get the required codes for me to use.

It was well gone midnight when they rang back with a 4 digit code, by which time I was on the verge of insanity with the hours of the noise and pressing the silence button every three minutes!

I put the code in – after which the noise started again, and did not stop again until the arrival of the staff at 0730hrs in the morning!

A good job no one broke in that night, because I was so disorientated with the hours of noise, I would have been no use at all.

The Manageress explained that she had given the wrong code, and laughed about it.

Funny?

I had to sit in the car for ages until I felt clear headed enough to drive.

When I got home, control rang asking me to go back to the same store again that Sunday night, for 16 hours shift, 1600hrs to 0800hrs!

On arrival at the store, I made sure I was given the correct codes for all of the alarms in the store (Better late than never).

I was sat there, about 2300hrs, watching dozens of channels on the TVs, when I heard a thudding noise, although it sounded a bit distant, I thought I’d better investigate.

I opened the back (side) door, and gingerly peered out up and down the alleyway, although I could see nothing untoward, the thudding noise was clearly coming from nearby, and it suddenly stopped, and I heard voices shouting. I boldly marched (actually, I crept up) up the alleyway to the parade of shop fronts, to see two vehicles and a several scrotes loading stuff from Comet into one of their vans.

I called the emergency services, and tried to get a good description of the vans and crooks for the police.

I informed my control, knowing that there would be a few keen, alert security officers just eager to come and give me some back-up…

Within minutes the police squad cars flew into the car park, and the offenders scattered – unfortunately two of them towards where I was peeping put from the alleyway.

I retreated in through the back door, as I tried to close it behind me. There was pressure from the other side trying to force it open as I tried to close it!

A managed to hold them off for a minute or so and verbally advised them to go forth and multiply…. they burst in through the door knocking me over.

Turns out it was the police, who saw the yobs running into the alleyway, then saw the door being closed as they entered the alleyway, and assumed it must have been the crooks going in through the door.

Well that seemed to have been the general consensus of why the police Alsatian had bitten me leg.

Inchcock Today: Friday 28th November 2014 – Incorporating The Dream!

Friday 28th November 2014

I didn’t get to sleep until 0300hrs – this time myself to blame!

I’d been Facebooking last night and when I came to closing down, I had a try at getting the laptop to allow me to watch dvds off the net – and blimey.. . it let me.

Unfortunately I’d tried to open an original 1959 ‘The Invisible Man’ TV episode to watch and I was hooked and spent the next 4 hours watching them. Tsk!

I forced myself away when I kept nodding off while watching at about 0310hrs.

Didn’t stir until 0715hrs – and tried again to watch em, but the laptop was back in ‘Frustrate Inchcock mode’ and wouldn’t let me.

I recalled some of the dreams I’d had and wrote the bits I remembered down to record here:

I was a jailer of some sort I think and I had Stalin, Hitler and Genghis Khan held in the same prison cell, they were each complaining that the others got better food than they did?

At one stage they were arguing amongst themselves whilst playing Tiddlywinks.

I’d delivered to their cells, microwave sausages and beans for Stalin. I can’t recall what I gave to Hitler, and lemon curd coated seaweed with mothballs for Khan?

Later in the dream I had to call for help in controlling them and Gary Hoadley arrived smilingly and killed them all by tearing off their heads and then asking “Anyone for football?”

I think we became traffic wardens… with Gaz using a Star Trek Phaser like thing to discourage the drivers from arguing, and after he’d used it to stun them, he gave them Green Shield Stamps?

What a Dream!

I’ve never remembered so much of a dream before… thanks Gaz!

WC.

I went down and made a cuppa and took me medications.

WC.

Returned to the laptop to update this diary.

It was still dark outside at 0810hrs.

I have to say, the ‘Little Inch’ angina and arthritis aren’t too bad at the moment, but the rear end is tender and painful.

WC.

Worked on another ode to loneliness, keeping it light. 

Worked on another ode to loneliness, keeping it light. Not happy with it and scrapped it.

Managed to get to watch dvd (The Invisible man) from Youtube but from nowhere else?

Did loads on Facebook and a post for me Inchcock site – but nowt else, didn’t even go out of the flea-pit.

Worked on another ode to loneliness, keeping it light. Not happy with it and scrapped it.

Managed to get to watch dvd (The Invisible man) from Youtube but from nowhere else?

Did loads on Facebook and a post for me Inchcock site – but nowt else, didn’t even go out of the flea-pit.

Riot at Nottingham’s Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus

A mistaken report in local Nottingham Newspaper about jobs available caused another Riot at Nottingham Job-Centre Plus!

The beginning of the Nottingham shoplifters muggers and alcoholics rabid descent on the Job-Centre Plus offices

There was panic in Nottingham city centre this morning when it was mistakenly published in the local ‘Free paper’, that the Jobcentre Plus on Parliament Street had got 333 new jobs just come in, in error for 3 new jobs.

Shortly after the crowd rushed the centre, police were on the scene – unfortunately, with the Government cutbacks, the Nottingham force being reduced by 385 officers, most of them were tasering and truncheoning their way through the mob to get first in the queue for the jobs!

As the injuries piled up, Paramedics and Ambulance-men (Government cutbacks 150) who attended, joined in the battle for attention from the overwhelmed Jobcentre Plus staff in a desperate bid to get an interview for one of the non-existent jobs.

CSO and traffic warden Mike Steedenski was forced to call in the Army for support (5000+ Government personnel cutbacks). He armed himself with the intention of getting an interview for himself.

When the Army arrived, they started to shoot the mob of job-seeking citizens, policemen, and medical staff, to get through to the front of the queue themselves.

But there were too many job-seekers, Big Issue sellers and trained muggers in the crowd, and the mob started to get the upper hand.

The incident came to a sudden halt when the first floor of the building collapsed under the weight of the angry crowds.

The Fire Brigade could not attend straight away, due to another incident they were tackling, and with the Government cutbacks, they had not got sufficient staff to respond immediately.

The Red Cross, St Johns Ambulance and Boys Brigade Scout first aid badge holders took hours to sort out the living, dead and injured, but heroically did so, despite being hounded by Big Issue sellers, pickpockets and looters while trying to rescue people.

One Boy Scout, Alberto Zwievski-Sozzled (63), was injured by a mobility scooter as he tried to cross the road to tend to an injured mugged Senior Citizen.

Nottingham’s Chief Constable undercover in Bermuda on a fact-finding mission

Nottingham’s Chief Constable Danny Soz explained:

As the reports of the violence came in, I was on my way to Bermuda for a fact finding mission on how Bermudan addicts roll their weed cigarettes’. As soon as this fact-finding mission is accomplished, I will returned to attend and assess the results of this riot in Nottingham and sort out a few of the scumbag citizens.

Firemen attending the scene took some time out to do a few public relations exercises with Shirley, the leader of the Job-centre plus team. 

There are now some more jobs coming in for the building industry trade, but only for work at the Jobcentre Plus Parliament St branch.

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