April 2016 – Page 3 – Inchie Today

Inchcock Today – Mon 11 Apr 16: Spent fortune on things not needed, then an altercation! – Tsk!

Monday 11th April 2016

I woke (Which was a bonus) and once again laid there trying to recall the dreams, but this morning there was nothing but a sense of frustration, no details at all, but I’m sure I did dream a lot?

I thought about Olive in flat 82 (or 84), I’ll call to see her on my way out, see if she needs anything bringing in.

The first call to the porcelain was rather painful, so I took a Bisacodyl with my other medications with a strong cup of tea. A bit of blood too. Which reminded me, I must show the nurse my new black growth on my mush today.

I pondered on life for a few moments while taking the medications: The mobile phone has not rung for three weeks now. Popular, I’m not. Yet I try to be. I do not call people or their habits (Fair enough, Pavement Cyclist, Taxi drivers, racists, and politicians are not included in this), I love to help folks if I can. I suppose it is my lack of education and funny yet variable hobble and occasional feeling sorry for myself moments that are a handicap socially. Not hearing what some contacts are actually saying to me… or rather mishearing them doesn’t help?

I realised I was doing it again, so I put the headphones on as I started this diary and listened to some music on YouTube to pull myself out of the pitying state I was sinking into; Bernard Cribbins Gossip Calypso was playing.

That, soon had me feeling better! So, I listened to more of his songs and did a search for the missing paring knife I bought and misplaced and cut my finger with the other day, no luck.

An unexpected effervescent bubbly feeling took control of my ever-weakening brain as I went to make another a cup of tea. A shame that it didn’t last for long. I managed to knock a dessert in the fridge as I reached for the milk, and it fell ungraciously to the floor via my dressing gown and split open. I accepted this minor Whoopsiedangleplop with a surprisingly insuisiance.

The short dizzy I had when I got up from cleaning up the spillage, was not greeted in the same manner.

Made another cuppa replacing the one that had gone cold, and got back to the laptop nad the graphicationalising. Five hours later, I’d got the TFZers pictures done! Phew! No time left to get them posted as I have to get ready for the INR test and then go into town and get some things, including perhaps, a slow cooker. If anyone has advice on using these, I’d appreciate a little guidance.

Back in a few hours… I hope like! Hehe!

Got into town without meeting any other tenants en route.

Passing Clinton Street and the masses of shoplifters muggers and pavement cyclists, I took a photo of them.

Into Wilko to look at their slow-cookers on offer. I inquired of one of the ladies working there if they had any of the small ones available. (Like Olive’s one) She said they do not make them now. Wondered around the store and got a lavender Dettol disinfectant and a Zoflora Citrus.

Out and walked to the bank on Exchange Walk, passing through the Slab Square on the way.

The Bank gave me a figure of my balance, and I nearly lost my balance – by gum it’s gone down a lot!

All this paying for two Council Tax’s, utilities, etc. is crippling me. Hope they sell the house soon!

Even more depressed now, I wandered put and to the Debenham store to see if they had any small slow-cookers in stock. A bit of a maze this shop is, all floors on different levels and a job to find out where you are supposed to be going, Huh! Got to the top floor and found the department I needed. They had no small cookers either. However, they had some medium ones, with one brand being on offer from £35 to £20! Then I took a look at the paring knives on display; this is where I made another faux par… I thought the price on this paring knife was £1.70 and thought by gosh, that’s good value! Later when I looked properly, I found it was £7! Errors like this are not doing my confidence any good yer know!

I made my way to the bus stop but just managed to miss the L9.

So I had an hour to kill before the next and last one of the day.

Wandered around and ended up going in the small Tesco shop to get some bread.

Then along Upper Parliament Street taking some photographicalisations of the Nottinghamians as they milled around.

To the end and down onto Queen Street and got to the L9 bus stop again.

Where I had an altercation with six Eastern Europe youths, who were hanging about outside the Post Office doors behind the bus shelter.

Being young lads of about 17-18 years of age, and in lively spirits doing their testosterone testing by having mock fights with each other. V

One of them went for another and they both banged into me, luckily I saw them coming and fended off the nearest one with a blow to his neck. Which probably hurt me more than him. Hehe! I shouted out ” What the ‘f ‘ hell do you think you’re doing!” I surprised myself as much as I did them. The youth spun around and gave me the glare! At this point, I was amazingly not scared, more, angry. He muttered “Sorry” and he and the other youth wandered off down the street. His mates near the railings began to give me the eye. Now the fear kicked in, as the bus pulled up, I got on it as swiftly as I could!

At the next bus-stop, Bill from the flats got on, and we had a natter en route back to the apartments.

When I opened the slow-cooker and then felt a fool for buying it I found the leaflet with it was printed in minuscule fonts, and the information on it sparse.

Then the aftershock of the altercation arrived. I started shaking and did nothing but sit down, fretted and brooded for the rest of the night, apart from getting some nice nosh, but didn’t finish it all.

Feeling ‘orrible. Humph!

Inchcock Today – Sun Apr 16: Hibernation Day (No buses)

Sunday 10th April 2016

0310 hrs: I stirred into wakefulness and sat there, firstly trying to remember the dreams I’d had, again of me being lost in a deserted factory, then the jejunity of my existence started to rack my uneducated brain. I began questioning and pessundated my worth.

I farted, smelt it, sneezed and made a cup of tea, to take my medications with. Came across last nights untaken medication pot, swore at myself for being daft enough to miss taking them and took a Warfarin tablet to take along with the morning medications. Whoopsiedangleplop number one of the day then? Tsk!

To the bathroom, the haemorrhoids were bleeding badly this morning but Little Inchy was not at all.

0455hrs: Got the rest of the laundry ready, dressing gowns, towels and few socks, undies and a shirt, along with the capsules, powder, softener and fresher pearls, and change then made my way down to the laundry room.

One of the lifts was out-of-action.

I got the washing machine going on economy-quick mode and sat in the lobby reading my Sniper book. Surprisingly two tenants passed through and out of the building, I didn’t know either of them, and neither responded to my spoken ‘Good Morning.’

The weather was a bit frosty when I had a look out of the front doors. But it soon changed to bright sunshine.

When the cycle had completed, I moved the washing into the dryer, got it going, then returned to the flat to update this.

Went down an hour or so later and got the washing out of the dryer, all okay.

Back up to the apartment again, the one working lift was shuddering uncomfortable a bit.

Got in, WC’d made a strong cuppa and onto Coreldraw and Corelpaint.

Then I had a marathon session doing some graphicalisations for the TFZ site. In fact. I spent over five hours doing them, and I’m only perhaps two-thirds of the way through them now.

I got the dinner cooking away and checked if anything was worth watching on the goggle-box. So good stuff on later.

Checked the TV magazine and watched a Black Adder episode while checking on the fodder cooking.

Leg of lamb chop, mash with cheese granules, garden peas, beetroot and roast parsnips and carrots, followed by a rather sweet vanilla dessert with Cornish clotted cream. Went down nicely.

Rated this one as 9.35/10.

Read the classic car newspaper.

On each visit to the throne, the haemorrhoids were bleeding, Huh! But all the other ailments were being kind to me. (Now I shouldn’t have said that yer know. Hehe!)

Remembered about tomorrow’s INR test. So I put the Anticoagulation card in my jacket pocket while I thought of it.

Watched some TV, but as tired as I was, struggled to get to kip.

Inchcock Today Sat 9 Apr 2016: Bonkers dream memories

Saturday 9th April 2016

On this day in 1949, Inchcock was thrown into the Nottingham Canal

0400hrs: I woke, involuntarily passed the wind, felt the warm blood trickling down in my lower regions area and sat for ages thinking of the frustrating and nerve rattling dream I had just had: I kept getting onto giant sea ships and inside each one was a different place where I had worked in reality. Pork Farms, where I could not take the temperatures in the fridges. Security, where the chap who stabbed me in 1971 was somehow having lunch with Margaret Thatcher and George Osborne? There were many ships and places, but these I could remember well.

Then I was back on the roofs of buildings being chased and chasing others. This time, I kept falling off the roofs or cliffs without injury? Weird!

I made my way to the bathroom and cleaned up the leaking areas. Got the kettle on, made a brew and took the medications.

I was feeling discombobulated, distracted somehow. The mind was off on a course of its own for a while.

Got the laptop on and did some graphicalisationing. Then finished the diary for Friday and started this one.

Assembled the things for the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop and Olive. Had a good soak in the bath and did the ablutions.

Called at Olive’s on the way out and gave her some nibbles and we had a chat. She showed me her Slow Cooker and how it worked. At least, we had one thing in common, we both had the same limp as we wobbled about, as she humorously pointed out and we both managed a laugh about. I gave her my telephone number, just in case she needed any help at any time.

I departed and caught the L8 but into Sherwood, having another chat with a tenant on the way.

Got into Sherwood and dropped the donations off at the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop.

Went to Wilko next, but they did not have cookers in. So I can go to the one in Arnold after the INR blood test on Monday?

Walked over to the Sue Ryder Charity Shop and asked if they had any brown ottomans in so s to replace the one I fell on and broke. They hadn’t, but took my number to ring me if they get any in later.

I hobbled around the shops window shopping and then made my way up Winchester Street hill, back to the flats.

The sky looked beautiful as I limped up the hill.

The legs and knees were doing alright, but the feet were tender, I put this down to the new shoes?

Got in and readied the laundry things then went down and read me Sniper book as I waited for the togs to be washed.

When they were done I got the dryer going, the clothes were very damp again when I took them out of the washer, so I might need to give them an extra dry later. Tsk!

I nipped back up to the flat and updated this while having a cup of tea.

Made some roast sweet potatoes, roast parsnips, and carrots, pickled onions, beetroot and had them with a pot of pulled pork paste sandwiches. A dessert to follow.

I didn’t get the roasting of the carrots or parsnips quite right today, some of the carrots were underdone. Huh!

Still, overall a 7.8/10.

The fatigue came earlier today.

I settle don to watch a DVD, nodded off and three hours later I awoke and tried to watch some TV, in between some mini falling asleep sessions of a few minutes each time.B

Well, it had not been a Whoopsiedangleplop day, Little Inchy had not bled, and I was tickled pink to have a gossip with Olive.B

Shame about my dropping the card-reader on the floor and it not now working, though. Another expense to replace it coming up. Tsk!

Blessedly, I nodded off early.

Inchcock Today – Fri 8 Apr 16: The Missing Panic Alarm Wristlet puzzle solved – Then another Whoopsiedangleplop!

Friday 8th April 2016

I woke around 0100hrs and had yet another search for the missing Alarm wristlet, without any success.

Gave up, nodded off, and sprang awake again at 0305hrs, convinced I knew where the wristlet might just be found; In one of the pockets of the coats hanging in the hallway?

No, not there either.

Fretting now, that I’d have to report this loss to the Nottingham City Homes Control and the flats Coordinator Dean Walker and have to pay for a replacement and make myself look a right clot into the bargain!

I looked in all the places I’d already searched last night, without any luck again.

So, depressed and defeated, I accepted the situation and resigned myself to a day of crawling and being red faced was to follow.

I attended the throne for the morning efforts, made a cup of tea, and booted the laptop into action.

While making the graphic above, I’d hoped to get some inspiration of somewhere I might not have looked yet? As I moved the camera to get to the SD card in the slot… Yes, there it was, right in front of me underneath the camera carrier – where I was sat when I first realised it was missing!

The velcro on the band had attached itself to the velcro on the camera case, so when I first moved the case to look under it for the wristlet, it moved with it. Both being black didn’t help?

Words fail me here! Hang on, I’ve found a few… better not type them in, though!

Took the medications, but the expected joy at discovering the alarm was not there – it was overshadowed I think, by the feelings of inadequacy and contempt with myself that I felt.

The disdain I was feeling toward myself wasn’t helped, when I went to make another cuppa, in semi-celebration of finding the thing and dropped the milk as I took it out of the fridge!

On a right downer now! The feeling is hard to describe and rather esoteric.

Still, neither Little Inchy or Hame Aroids were bleeding at all, and the view from the kitchen window, all the twinkling lights gave me something else to concentrate on. Why do the street lights appear twinkling some mornings, and static on others? Just another pointless, banal thought that popped into my head like. Tsk!

Took a bath and did my ablutions, then got the dirty washing ready and took it down with me to the Laundry Room. I met Olive from number 84 as she was on her way down to the laundry room. I like Olive, sweet lady struggles with arthritis but never complains bless her. We had a natter on the way down in the lift.

Received a letter from Nottingham City Homes confirming they were coming on Wednesday 13th April to look at the draughts coming into the kitchen.

Both the machines were in use, and a lady sat in the lobby waiting for one to finish! No chance there then for Olive or me to get the job done. We returned back up the lift and I had another nice chinwag with her before I returned to the apartment to make another cuppa.

Got the laptop back on and updated this article come diary come, Tale of Woes, come Inchcock Today.

Patti Beckert, my oldest cyber friend, had sent me an email. I answered her after doctoring a photo I took of Clinton Street in Nottingham.

I swapped Patti’s face for another lady, using CorelDraw x8 and CorelPaint x8.

Can you guess which one?

Then I went on Facebook for a while. A long while. A very long while indeed.

Got the new paring knife, and started to slice and cut the parsnips and carrots ready to spray with sunflower oil and bake in the oven… Whoopsiedangleplop!

It bled a little and I had to change the dressing three times after I managed with microscopic effort, to cut my right thumb.

Losing the blood left me with a blue coloured hand. Hehe! The Warfarin level I suppose?

I got the veg in the oven and added a beef slice later to even out the cooking times. Added the potato sticks, new potatoes, beetroot and pickled onions.

It came out alright and I was pleased with the result, although using the knife and fork was hindered by having to change the dressing on the thumb again. All okay later, nay bother!

I think my mind control was beginning to labascate when I found the garden peas simmering away on the hob when I went to wash the pots later. Humph! The parsnips and carrots were appetizing, despite my missing cutting off the ends of the carrots due to the Whoopsiedangleplop.

Fell asleep and was woken up by the Asda delivery gentleman ringing the intercom phone to be allowed in to bring the fodder. I answered the phone, he said who he was, I pressed the entry door-unlock button combination, then as I got the tiered trolly to the door in readiness: It dawned on me that I could not remember sending an order to Asda (Walmart)?

Although I could not recall placing the order, I must have.

As he passed the stuff to me to put on the trolley, it came back to me when I noticed the pack of two lamb leg chops other stuff.

I signed for the food, thanked the chap and went to put away the fodder delivered.

The freezer is now fuller than it ever has been, in fact, I had to dish some bits from it to make room for the new stuff! The cupboards were overfull to the point of absurdity. What when and why did I place this order? I checked on the Google Calendar and saw the reminder for it, and felt a right fool again. Tsk!

I sat down to watch the TV and a message told me to retune to get a channel I had on that had moved to another location. What a mess I made of that somehow. I’ve lost all of the radio channels now, but have got a channel of the CCTV camera on the Foyer door? Much as I wanted the radio channels back, I did not want to lose the CCTV channel? So I left it as it was because I didn’t know how I changed it in the first place? Poor old fool!

No chance of watching the goggle-box as I kept nodding for a few seconds, every five minutes it seemed.

Eventually, I drifted off.

Inchcock Today – Wed 6 Apr 16: Winwood Social Hour Day – Oh, no! Wrong day, sad innit?

Managed to stir and rise up around 0500hrs and to the WC.

Feeling drained and the stomach is grumbling this morning. (Should I stop eating the Frikadellens maybe?)

A little dizzy when I was making a brew, and the rumbling innards continued.

Got the things ready for the Winwood Community Hut Social Hour later – Morrisons delivery due twixt 0730 >0830hrs.

Laptop on and worked on the diary then checked emails (Finding I’d missed going to see Sister Jane yesterday when I had me giant dizzy, in trouble now!)

No imperturbation for me today. Forgot to take my morning medications on time, then realised that last night’s wobbly must have affected me more than I thought because I’d missed those too!

Got cleaned and changed in time to be available for the fodder delivery.

As the wind and rain got started (Looks like it’s settling in to be the pattern for the day), I pondered on life in general. I came to the conclusion that I live a Vicarious, but sad life. I’ve never had the ability or facilities to create any autexousious luxury. Just thought I’d mention it, like.

0725hrs: Awaited the arrival of the Morrisons delivery. Did some word usage learning studying.

0840hrs: Still waiting for the delivery. Still using Grammarly advice.

0925hrs: Still waiting for the delivery to arrive?

Morrisons delivery is on Thursday, I suddenly realised I’d thought it was Thursday, the wrong day – Now… now! I am aware it is Wednesday after all, today! I phoned Sister Jane and asked if I could have permission to visit her, and it was granted. I tried to dulcify the situation.

As ageing senile balding nincompoops go, I’ve got to up there amongst the most proliferous ones, surely?

So I rushed around and got the pressies and nibbles and things for them in the bag, after taking out all the Winwood stuff from it that I’d got ready for the Windwood Thursday’s Windwood Social Hour – feeling a right clot now! Had a wash and took the rubbish bags to the chute.

Down to catch the L9 bus to town. No one else waiting for the bus, and I noticed that someone had planted a row of Spring flowers in alignment with the end of the garages wall.

Beautiful they were, so I took a photograph of them.

Caught the bus and was soon in the City Centre.

The usual Friday crowds of shoplifters… whoops! I mean shoppers were milling about on Clinton Street.

I was so glad I didn’t have to hobble that way to the bus stop to catch the number seven to get to West Bridgford to see Jane, Pete and the pussies.

The rain pelted down on the journey there but eased off a bit for me limp from the bus stop to Jane’s mansion. Where I was greeted cordially and allowed to play with their pussies and one visiting from next door.

Even Arthur let me fuss him a bit. Fooey was his usual self with me, I reckon we have a bond. He’s such a mild-mannered old soul, nothing like how he appears to anyone not knowing him. I love him so, I can’t help but.

A good natter and reminiscing session took place. I took these photographs, promising to email them to Jane and Pete.

I departed saying my farewells and legged it into West Bridgford centre and caught a bus bak into Nottingham.

While waiting for the L9 bus, I took a photo of the Council House, which turned out a good one.

I’ll put this on my ‘Favourite Photo’s Wot I Took’ album on Facebook methinks.

The rain came down heavily again on the way back, but I’d done well in missing the worst of it on my travels today.

At the Victoria Centre bus stop, the bus filled up and William, the Social Hours treasurer, got on and sat down in the seat in front of me. He hadn’t noticed me, so I tapped his shoulder.

This is the photograph I took of William, at the weekly Winwood Social Hour last week.

We had a good chinwag, and once again, the rain eased off as we arrived back at the flats. I alighted the bus, William went to the next stop for Winchester Court, where he dwells.

As I got into the apartment, two letters were waiting for me. One for Margaret the previous tenant and one for me from Nottingham City Homes, informing me of the increase in the flat’s rent.

Cheered me up no end, that did!

As I went into the kitchen to get the fodder ready, the rain came again. Slowly at first

Slowly at first, then it poured down for a few minutes, then out came the sun as it stopped again.

I looked around to see if a rainbow has appeared, but no, none in site to be seen.

Made a cuppa and got the laptop on to update this diary. Took the medications.

Emailed the photographs to Jane and Pete.

Including this one, which I was a touch proud of doing.

Then did some quick Facebooking before the nosh was ready to serve up.

The rain stopped and out came the intense sunshine again!

Big fodder dish tonight.

Cheesy potatoes, pickled eggs, beetroot, hot dog sausages and some potato sticks.

Followed by a lemon yoghourt.

Rated this concoction as decent enough score of 8.9/10.

Made a right mess eating it, though. Huh!

The dizzies eased off I had no more tonight.

Trying to settle down was an impossibility, the mind was racing away, worrying and fretting about all sorts of things, some relevant to my existence and some not? The resulting turmoil was without any acquiescing or understanding. Any aesthetics or logicality within the wild, uncontrollable encephalon were hard to find.

Felt so tired, yet could not get off to rest with the mind’s rampaging – thought perhaps I was going bonkers at one time – then realised I already was bonkers!

Inchcock Today Thur 7th April 2016: Disappointments, Cock-ups and loses today

Thursday 7th April 2016

Woke up throughout the night many times, every occasion I tried to recall the dreams I’d been having, but just could not remember any details. I hate it when it’s like this.

When I woke up around 0400hrs, I nipped to the porcelain and once on the throne, tried again to remember the dreams, but only got the feeling I had been trying to do something and was frustrated in my efforts in every dream, felt I’d had many of them? Tsk! Still, the good news was that both Little Inchy and Haem Aroids were not bleeding at all.

Got the kettle on, made a cuppa, dropped it on the floor (That was Arthur Itis to blame for this!), made another cup and took the medications.

Checked I’d got the photo’s, nibbles and everything ready for the Windwood Tenants gathering hour at the Windwood Social Hut later. This time, I was certain it as the day for the Morrison’s delivery to arrive between 0730 > 0830hrs.

So I got the Tuesday diary finished and posted and started this one off.

Made sure I got myself bathed in plenty of time so as not to miss either the delivery or the social hour.

Mr. Morrison arrived and I put away the fodder for later and put the treats in the bag for the tenants meeting.

Set out for the Social Hour.

The daffodils in the lower part of the park looked rather beautiful as I passed by, I nipped in and took a photograph of them.

Such a disappointing turnout today at the hut, for the Winwood Tenant’s Social Hour.

Perhaps the weather forecast put them off probably, maybe or might have?

I’ll never know.

The few that did turn up seemed a bit lackadaisical.

Even old Eddy left early!

Left the place looking a bit threadbare of folk. Hehe!

I was a bit concerned about this and asked one or two of the clan there if they knew if anyone was poorly or why there is so few of us today?

A massive lack of interest was displayed, and I then wondered if I’d missed something?

Perhaps they will arrive a bit later I pondered?

No, the event dwindled to a farce, and those who had left early didn’t even say cheerio?

William, the treasurer, was the only one who wanted to have a gossip?Most off-putting this was.

I went back to the flat feeling a deflated person.

Pottered about in a depressed mood, then decided to go and get the few photographs I managed to take printed at Asda in Arnold. This proved a very expensive exercise! Humph!

I caught the bus into Arnold, having a very nice chat with Norman the 93-year-old from the same floor as me as we travelled off. revisit

Norman got off at Sainsburys and I carried on to the Asda store.

Went in and got the photographs done, paid for them and got the receipt and poddled around the shop.

I saw some lovely looking slow cookers on sale, but could not carry it home on the bus. I might see about buying a four wheeled trolley?

Then I got some sticks, bread, TV paper, paring knife so I can prepare my vegetables properly tonight, some Marmite, flavoured cashew nuts and potato cakes. Please to be noticing that I combated the urge to get any cream cakes! (Smug Mode Adopted!).

I collected the photographs after paying the lovely lady on the till.

Walked out and to the bus-stop, the timing was right as an L9 bus was due in eight minutes.

An interesting altercation was taking place in Asda’s car park. One of the many local shoplifters was being encouraged by the staff members to return to the store.

I also noticed that another slat had gone missing from the fungus covered dilapidated bench near the bus stop.

As I did so, who should turn up at the shelter, but Norman!

Bless him, he’s miss-timed catching the earlier bus, so he caught one the other way to Asda, and caught the same one as I did, back to the flats.

I was very pleased, at this, ’cause I love listening to his stories from his past! When he stopped telling me, I’m afraid I drifted off. Damned good job Norman was with me to wake me up! Huh!

We got back to the flats, parted company on the 12th floor as we got out of the lift, and I got in the apartment feeling a bit more cheerful, thanks to good old Norman.

I put the things away after attending to duties in the bathroom like. I prepared the veg for the nosh, easy-peasy with the new knife. Sprayed oil of the sweet potatoes, parsnips, and carrots then, placed the beef slice in the oven dish with them, the got the laptop on to update this tosh.

I kept checking on the fodder in the oven mind.

Checked the TV paper, intend to watch it from 2000hrs to 2300hrs. (Best laid plans mind)

Got the nosh out and on the plate.

At this point for some reason, I realised I had not got my wristlet alarm on my wrist.

Nipped to the bathroom to collect it, and could not find it anywhere?

I ate the meal which while tasting nice, I didn’t appreciate it much with my worrying about the wristlet alarm.

After eating it, I took the medications, then spent and hour or three searching around for the alarm, without any success.

Panicking a bit now, I was.

Suppose this means more costs and hassle; I’ll have to report it to Deana, the coordinator. Oh dear.

I tried to watch some TV but kept repeatedly getting up searching again and again for the wristlet alarm.

Most disappointed with me. Tsk!

Inchcock Today – Tuesday 5th April 2016: Early Whoopsiedangleplop as I woke up falling out of me chair! Hehe!

Tuesday 5th April 2016

Now, here is an opening to a diary that I hope I never have to repeat:

Around 0140hrs: I ‘bumped’ myself awake as I fell (Slipped out actually, but fell sounds so more dramatic dunnit? Hehe) out of the 1959 broken imitation leather arm chair and banged my ribs on the corner of the ottoman. This caused me to set off the wrist alarm.

On my mind at that time, was a dream I thought, at first, I was still dreaming. As my addled brain took in that the pain was real, and I wasn’t really in a four poster bed with a delectable selection chunky ladies! Humph!

The alarm response box burst into life with the lady asking if everything was alright. I mumbled my apologies, just saying I’d caught the button in error, to which she replied “No problem Gerry, she then tutted ferociously and rang off.

So, the Confused Nottingham Pensioner struggled up off the floor as I needed the bathroom porcelain urgently, as I staggered through the door, yet again I stubbed my toe on the door stop wood strip. I hoped the neighbouring tenant did not hear the language that spewed forth from my lips. Shame on me!

No bleeding from Little Inchy or Hem Aroid, though, so that was good!

I returned to the messy living room, a part drank bottle of orange flavoured spring water, the TV remote control, the TV paper, a tissue (Well, bit of kitchen towel, but tissue sounds posher), the mobile phone, the walking stick, the picker-upper grabber and the headphones littered the floor near the 1959 broken imitation leather arm chair. I reckon I must have fallen on me picker-upper cause it was a bit bent. The best one too, Huh! I checked the ottoman out, I’d cracked the lid on it.

I got the kettle on for a cup of tea, then pondered on what had taken place for a while. Then cleared up the mess.

The dream left an impression on me, the collision with me ribs and the ottoman did too! Good job I’m going to see the nurse at the surgery later today.

I’d considered the 1959 broken imitation leather arm chair previously, as ‘Unfalloutofable,’ that is one of the reasons I bought it in the first place (Mind you, I didn’t know it was broken at the time).

I thought I’d try to get me head down again around 0300hrs, and that later on my way to the surgery for the INR blood test, I could take the long walk route through the park, call at the charity shop to see if they had any more of the Ottomans for sale, drop off the bits for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, then drop off BJ’s photographs t his house as I pass by his street. (See that? I was making plans! Scary that… Hehe)

I couldn’t get back to sleep, though, so I got the laptop on and started this diary off, in between visits to the WC, cups of tea and trying to recollect some more memories of the dream.

Took the medications. Did some Facebooking too.

Got a soak in the bath and medicated the parts needed medicating.

Assembled everything required in the bag, and set off on my walk into Sherwood, via the Woodthorpe Park.

This pair of ‘#>&s Nottingham Footpath Cyclists managed to avoid my wrath, as I was in a good mood as I hobbled along.

Out of the park and into Sherwood, called at the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop and gave them their carrier-bag of bits.

As I was passing the co-op store, a Nottingham Pavement Cyclist overtook me on my left, very close to hitting me, then did the same on the right to the lady in this photo, forcing her to stop wondering hat was happening. Over the road and to the Sue Ryder shop to see if they had any medium ottomans in stock so I could replace the one I had broken when I fell on it. They didn’t.

I spoke with the lady, to see if she was alright. She was angry at how close he came to hitting her and made her jump! I was so glad that I wasn’t carrying a firearm with me. Thee anger-making pillocks who are too scared to drive on the road and have no consideration for pedestrians, do no have a horn or honker or light or anyone with common sense nor empathy in the saddle would have found one less!

Over the road and to the Sue Ryder shop to see if they had any medium ottomans in stock so I could replace the one I had broken when I fell on it. They didn’t.

Further down the road and called at BJ’s house. He wasn’t in, and I posted his photographs through his letter box for him.

He’s off to the Dentist tomorrow, hope it all goes well for him.

I continued along Mansfield Road up the hill and down to Carrington and the doctors surgery.

The nurse (The nice one) soon had blood tubes filled and I gave her an Easter egg for herself and some nibbles for the others.

Wandered over to the Lidl store and got some Frikadellens and bits.

Caught the bus back into Sherwood. As I was crossing the road at the pelican lights, there must have been five or even six Nottingham Pavement Cyclists on the other side of the road. I’d have loved to have got a photpgraph of these nasty unthinking morons as they belted by folk making the older ones jump, but couldn’t get the camera out while using the crossing.

I caught the L8 circular bus up the hill back to the flats.

When I got in, used the porcelain and had a dizzy while doing so – then fatigue overcame me again (Tsk!) Got the fodder going, not what I had planned because I wanted only to get my head down.

To save time and mess, I had two Frikadellen cobs and a tin of tomatoes.

Surprisingly was enjoying this, when another call to the porcelain arrived.

The rest of the day was spent trying to get some sleep, but something stopped me nodding off for hours and hours. I recall giving up and putting the TV on and seeing it was gone midnight.

Hey-ho, Plenty of folks worse off.

Woke with a start around 0300hrs, and drifted off again?

Inchcock Today 4 Apr 16: Forced myself out and about – then it poured down!

Nottingham’s Most Barmiest Sad Pensioner’s Diary of Woe

Monday 4th April 2016

I stirred into semi-life around 0315hrs and hobbled to the bathroom without any problems from the ailments, apart from the sore haemorrhoids, but they were not bleeding, just tender.

Stubbing me toe on the way to the kitchen, I noticed the glorious view from the window and decided to take a photograph of it – I decided not to after all when I couldn’t find the camera. Humph, still looking!

Took the medications and found last night’s pot of pills I’d missed taking! Oh dear, so sad and anger making! I took the morning tub of tablets along with just one night time Warfarin.

Started the laptop and back to the WC to doctor my bits with the creams, painkillers, and lotions. Stubbing my toe on the same raised door stop as I had earlier! At least, Little Inchy was not bleeding this morning, I still applied the cortisone cream, though.

As I burnt my finger making the next cup of tea, that I knocked off the counter when I caught myself on the hot kettle and had to bend to clean up causing the back to go: This might not be going to be a good day I thought to myself?

I got the urge come inspiration to do a funny WordPress post in bad rhyming about advice for Pensioners on Waking up in the morning. This took a few hours to get done. During which, another call to the porcelain came, and I was so careful not to stub my toe on the raised door stop this time!

Then I got the Monday diary finished and started this one – and as I did so, got the fearful feeling I might have forgotten the INR blood tests today – oh, and I’ve got to call the clinic to grovel for another appointment too! I checked the Google calendar and confirmed it was for Tuesday 1145hrs at Dr Vindla’s surgery with the nurse.

I got some kind messages on the email, heartwarming that.

Turned everything off electrically speaking and got a jolly good scrub-up. Got the Phorpain gel on my joints and cleaned Little Inchy and Daktacorted him once again.

Wrapped me up well and set off in a hurry to the bus stop. Met coordinator Dean in the lift, and a few words.

Out and met two tenants waiting for the same bus, man, and wife I think and I had another little gossip.

The bus arrived in the City Centre and I dropped off and walked to the bus stop for the number 17 to Bulwell.

The cloudy sky was looking rather threatening as I crossed over the road to hobble to the bus stop.

Pavement cyclists were darting around as well, too quick for me today.

I observed as got close to the bus stop, that the naughty little Nottingham pedestrians were not too keen on keeping to the Walk – Don’t Walk signs on Upper Parliament Street!

The little Scally-Wags!

There were two people at the bus stop when I joined the queue. A ten-minute wait and by the time the bus arrived, there were about twenty in the queue. They all rushed forward with steely determination and I was semi-trampled on and around the twentieth to get on the bus! Humph!

In Bulwell, I made my way to the cheapo shop and got a three pack of the Blitz towels. Then walked around to the Shoe Zone store and got three pairs of shoes, one brown pair included (Not the foggiest idea why?).

Next door to the Fulton’s Food store and got a pack of battered fish fingers and one box of same battered fishcakes. They had some short-dated dark chocolate orange nibble discs, so I bought two for 50p.

Over the Market Place to the river Leen, and fed some pigeons there with the seeds I had in my shopping bag.

Over to the tram station and had a repeat of the what took place at the bus stop earlier. I was the first there on the platform, but about the twentieth again to get on the bloody thing. Only one side seat left available, and I had a heck of a job hanging on to it with and the two shopping bags at the same time. Tsk! Swines were nicking me OAP seats!

On the journey, it was dry when I got on, absolutely pelting down half way and dry when I eventually dropped off.

I even had a battle, to get off the tram in time at the Theatre Royal stop I needed, it was so crammed full of folk who didn’t want to respond to me requests for them to make way so I could get out! Huh!

I walked over to the L9 bus stop, the bus already being there and I joined just one other passenger on the bus. Later the bus had to wait as it went through a housing estate for a builders lorry to offload some materials. The driver was not happy!

We got to the flats and I had yet another little natter with a woman as we entered and rode up in the lift. We both agreed a cup of tea would go down nicely.

In the flat and put the things I’d purchased away.

I noticed that the last pair I bought exactly like the £12.99 pair – AUS £24.38 – USD $18.59 – CAD £24.95, were then a few months ago, selling at £9.99. AUS £18.75 – USD $14.29 – CAD £18.63. Thought I’d get three pairs of shoes before they all went up even more!

Mind you, they all start leaking after a while. Hurrumph!

The weather then started to pour rain heavily; Over the next couple of hours, it changed from rain to bright sunshine, so frequently.

Some mail had been delivered.

One Election Poll Card for Thursday 5th May, and a letter for Margaret, the previous tenant.

I got the laptop on and updated this diary of Woe.

While preparing to get the fodder cooking and deciding to have fish lumps and fishcakes with beetroot, I thought I’d let you all know, that I no longer have any bags BBQ disc crisps, or beef flavoured potato chip sticks in the place! Not a single bag anywhere!

Honestly folks! Not one bag left!

Ahem!

Hehehe!

The fodder came out alright this time, and what a feast it was too!

Had to give this one a high rating score of a worthy 9.22/10.f

The Caramelised Balsamic Onion Chutney really complimented the fish dish so well.

Took the evening medications, having missed the midday ones. Huh!

Checked the TV magazine and found that there was so much on the box that I would have liked to view, all at the same times.

Channel hopped, fell asleep, woke, channel hopped, fell asleep… on and on and on this went. I imagine there are plenty of, what shall I say? Aged people in this position at nights?

BJ rang to say he’s checked the old house and all looks okay. That’s a relief!

Nodded of eventually…

Inchcock Today – Sun 3 April 16: A day of loneliness, blues and fatigue! Hehehe!

Sun 3 April 2016

Straight to the bathroom to use the porcelain and to check out the status of certain bodily areas: Little Inchy was not bleeding, well, only the tiniest bit. The rear end bled a bit after I struggled very painfully this morning, to perform the essential evacuation procedure. I cleaned myself up and made a cuppa taking the medications and an Entrolax to ease things in the rear nether region.

Got the laptop on and started to finish the Monday diary off.

After about an hour, the need to use the throne returned, rather quick that I thought: Blow me down, it was the opposite of the earlier session, felt like I had now acquired Diahorrea? Could one Entrolax have had such an almost instant reversive effect? Mmm?

When making another cuppa around 0600hrs, I thought I’d take a photograph through the kitchen window.

What a mess I made of it.

Got in a right pickle with the camera, only trying to cancel the flash, Tsk!

Had to take eight shots before I got it right, then I didn’t know what I’d done to get it right!

I just hope I’ve not messed it (The
camera settings) up altogether now.

Got all irritable about this for some reason, cursing myself and almost growling at my ineptitude?

Still not sure it was worth all the hassle.

No dizzies this morning, let’s hope it stays that way?

Got Coreldraw X8 booted and did some work to post later.

Then did some Facebooking on the TFZ site. (Several hours, Tsk!)

Spent a good while internetting about, then checked me emails:

I had an email from L R Johnson, my cyber mate Les.

He’s doing well with his Erskine Quint novels, just got his second of three out in print. Available now, on Amazon in book or e-book form at a good price. Great reading that takes you out of yourself and into the world of Erskine with all the madness and freedom we can only dream of.

Got me nosh prepared without any hiatus. Lamb hock with vegetables, potato cakes and Irish Batch bread to soak up the gravy.

Good one this. Rated at 9.22/10.

Just the one dizzy spell today, while I was doing the washing up – but, a rather nasty one.

The rest of the day I spent resting! Fatigued for no reason?

Huh!

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Ageing and Waking up – Advice on what to expect!

Created by a 70-year-old Nottingham Pensioner, in support and advice for those amongst us who are approaching maturity and senescence, but without having first prepared for the coming nasty onslaught of their failing faculties, loneliness and the consequences of physical and mental disintegration that are imminently coming.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Waking up in the Morning

First thoughts, can you remember your nightmares you’ve just had,

Have you passed water or anything else that might be bad?

Did you take last nights medications?

Or have any more confusing aberrations?

Is life real, or just a fad?

*****

You’ll test out your moving parts and ailments early on, slowly of course,

The Arthritis, water filled legs, ankles, hands one by one,

Is the Angina, reflux valve or ulcer giving you any bother at all?

Avoid when getting up, from having a dizzy or another fall.

*****

Moving quickly, must not be overdone!

What medical appointment have you today?

Will anyone call to see you? No, you reply in dismay,

Ah, you’ve to go to the clinic for your X-ray?

Or perhaps this in for next Monday?

Will you snuff it today, you cannot say!

*****

Then the serious stuff comes into your mind,

Which tea-bags to use, Yorkshire, Punjana or Co-op ninety-nine?

You begin to move, there’ll be a jolting pain down your spine,

You’ll have a little chunter, a curse and a whine!

*****

Bravely you grab the broken arm of the chair,

To ease yourself up, but you don’t get there,

Slumping back into your 1959 brown imitation leather armchair,

With steely determination you try again, ignoring the pain,

You must succeed, for you need to use the porcelain yet again!

The odds will be against you getting there are a crime,

You’ll stub your toe en route, this you’ll do more than one time,

Your piles will bleed, miss the bowl and think you’re going insane!

A cuppa will help, you put the kettle on while searching for your sock,

You’ll feel the wet warm dribble from your bleeding Inchcock.

*****

Then you’ll get another bit of a shock,

You’ve run out of your Dandelion and Burdock,

Looking at your kitchen clock, it shows it’s approaching only one o’clock!

At this stage, you’ll question your sanity and mental health,

Realising of stupidity, you have great wealth,

And you don’t really like your older self!

The end

Written in a moment of insanity inspired boredom and realisation

that the time is coming to reconsider the subjectivity of your

own self-detrimental thoughts are escaping into the ether.

Or something like that!

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