Sometimes… Thoughts on ageing from the aged Inchcock in one of his darker moments

10aI cannot see, I cannot pee
I cannot chew, I cannot screw
Oh dear, what can I do?
My memory shrinks with age
So does my little appendage!
I struggle when pooping
Everything is drooping
I’ve no sense of smell
Others sniff and can tell
My winds don’t smell too well
The hearing-aid batteries disappear
The dizzy-spells I really fear
When I get on the wrong bus
It makes me feel opprobrious
As it causes quiet a fuss
I wake up at the depot on that bus
Medical appointments missed sometimes
I fall asleep on the loo and at dinnertimes
Go to the wrong place on the odd day
Then wonder why I was going there anyway
Put my washing in the machine and go way
And, remember it by the next Friday
Leave taps running, like last night
The Water bill will give me a fright
Leave lights on, burn the nosh
Drop the soap when having a wash
Bend to retrieve it, give me head a bash,
Little Inchy bleeds and cut myself shaving
And I really miss misbehaving
Get confused without any bother at all
Forget the walking stick and have a fall
Old age, is not really a ball
I wonder if it’s worth it to struggle to live
Then I remember, in the affirmative…
My new neighbour, who is so attractive
I’ll press on, offering all I can give
To the beautiful gal named Olive!



6 thoughts on “Sometimes… Thoughts on ageing from the aged Inchcock in one of his darker moments

  1. Well, to quote one of yours, “An Essay on Man,” by Alexander Pope. “Hope springs eternal in the human breast: Man never is, but always to be blest.”

    Perhaps because I am at the same stage of life as you, I thought your poem was at least as meaningful as Pope’s couplet! Must be an English thing, this deathless poetry. Yeah, Shakespeare, Dunne, um, you know the rest!

    Have a great day, Sir! I think you deserve one as often as possible.

      • LOL! I was an English/Journalism major as a student at the university. If it makes you feel any better, I am cursed with an anal need to see every word spelled correctly, every sentence punctuated correctly, and all the rules of grammar applied.

        It makes my life miserable to find a typographical error in one of my postings, and I have been known to correct postings dating years back if i see them. (Sometimes I revisit my early postings to see what held my interest in earlier times….)

        The absolute worst obsession comes from posting a comment on someone’s blog, then discovering an error I can;t go back to and edit! (Notice the error in the word “can’t” in that last sentence. Just to prove there is nothing wrong with you looking up words, that I am just a human who enjoys your blog for all the effort you put into writing and illustrating it, I will leave the typo: It will drive me crazy!)

      • Thanks weggieboy: I like the cunning way you slipped the small ‘i’ in there too, clever that Sir.
        I too feel depressed when I find an error. Lack of education as a young un, has been a handicap for me. Currently I am or was, using Grammarly Premium which I find, or found despite the cost, invaluable. But the programme keeps disappearing from the laptop and occasionally coming back on? It’s off again today, Tsk!
        Most frustrating!
        Tenants Social Hour at the Community Shed this morning, hope to get some photographicalisations and get them printed later to give out to the guys and gals.
        Take care, a fuss sent to the furries.

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