Inchcockski: Saturday 18th July 2020 – My predilection for a quiet, Whoopsiedangleplop-free life, is failing!

TFZ Harrod’s Shopper-Gal!

Saturday 18th July 2020

Greek: Σάββατο 18 Ιουλίου 2020

04:30hrs: On waking up for the first time all of the five hours I was in the arms of Sweet-Morpheus, surprisingly enough, I didn’t feel I needed a wee-wee. A rare, moliminous and infrequent occurrence, indeed! I cannot remember the last morning that I stirred not needing a tinkle! (I was almost confused) Haha!

The pain from the uncut toes and untreated leg ulcer grabbed my attention.

I got the Canon camera from the Ottoman and took a couple of pictures. At first, I wondered why the photos came out looking such a healthy glowing red-tinted hue. For none of the limbs were this colour in reality? Had I taken the shots on the wrong setting? Was the fact that the morning was so light? Had I left the light on? (Nope).

Life is short, so no time to worry about that. I have a multitude of memories, fears and guilt that is more deserving of my ‘Worry-Storms.

 Aha! Better late than never; Bladder-Blart, was in a sudden rush to inform me of the need of a wee-wee, and it was growing in urgency.

I scrambled out of the recliner, got the stick, and wobbled on painful-tootsies to the wet room. I only just managed to beat the Pre-Micturition dribble, and the Post-after-dribble (PMAD) was a lengthy affair, requiring the greatest of patience! Trust me to cop for this Diabetes Insipidus (Urinary incontinence)! As if I needed anything else to take away the precious and short time in a day to get things done! Bramcrackleshogites! I did have time to think, muse and ask myself; “Why the hell, didn’t you use the EOGPB (Emergency-Overnight-Grey-Plastic-Bucket)?”‘Dope!’

I got the mammoth, unbelievably long micturition passing ended. Phew! And fetched the bucket and got it emptied, sanitised, disinfected and stored away! The late morning (To me) skies were holding their blue tinge, and simple as the view is to most, I thought it beautiful!

The sphygmomanometerisationing results look fine today. The pulse level was up, on what it’s been for a few months. But I think this is a good thing. Shows that Metal Mickey is throbbing away like the real thing! Hahaha!

I got the medications taken and put the kettle on, and was summoned with high exigency, and instant pains from the gut, to the PorcelainThrone! I hastened as fast as I could, back to the wet room. Fearing another embarrassing escapage! I got down, plunk! On the seat, and within I think about two minutes, the movement began, of it own accord and control, as is normal, but suddenly got a move on and soon I was sat there getting over the pain and shock at the speed of the whole movement! But, contended that the motion produced only a few tiny bits of bleeding, no mess whatsoever either! Something to challenge my negaholism?

I washed and medicated the lower regions in need. And got on with the updating of yesterday’s blog. Within five minutes or so… Yes, the good of Liberty-Global Virgin Media internet went down! I had a look at the Trust Pilot ratings and comments. Terrible, Virgin Media and British Gas have the lowest ranking of One! The remarks from British Gas on my problem told me to Email them with my full address, so I did! I got this on the right back from Google Mail! Sickening!

Amazingly it came back on in a few minutes!

Went to make a brew of Glengettie Gold. There was the lightest rain I’ve ever seen, as it hit and was blown down the window. I don’t think you can even see the fine dribblets on the photo I took through the window?

I got the updating done after a few hours and then decided to get the Ablutions done early, in case the Amazon delivery arrives. Well, it might? Or not! Hehe!

The session went stunningly well! I joke not! Yee-Ha! Dropsies totalled maybe six at most! Toothache Thomas was bothersome, as to be expected. One, yes, just one nick shaving! No dropping of the showerhead at all! Smug Mode Nearing, I can feel it! The toes nails and soles of the feet were fearfully painful, mind. Blanglebotheration!

Went on Facebooking, sent the link off, checked on the latest Coronavirus figure, then went onto WordPress Reading.

Getting tired now. Got some spuds and beans in the saucepan. Going to add tomatoes and kippers in tomato sauce later, a bit of bread, that should do me.

Unfortunately, I bent down to retrieve a dropped dish and clouted my forehead on the stove. Which sent me to the floor, and have spent ages getting back up again. This was not a good move. Especially as when I went down, I hit the dish with my right knee! Arthur Itis was not amused. Tsk!

All plans abandoned. I’ll make the fodder, and settled to recover, hopefully quietly, but must not fall asleep, as the nail-clippers are coming later from Amazon. Not for the toenails, of course, they are too much for me to reach in my state. I’d got a dizzy coming on now! Globberisations! Not good.

I’m off to get the food prepared now. Fingers crossed, I’ll do it without any injuries. Humph!

Blimus! I did get it prepared and served up without a single Whoopsie! I even titivated the plate a bit with some Hoisin sauce, that went well with the vegetable tomato sauce from the kippers (Canned this time, not fresh). The mixed beans in  ‘vinegarette water’ were fine. Kippers in veg sauce, fantastic! The potatoes, fairish, tomatoes crap! The mini-apple pies had no taste other than sugar. Overall, a rating of 7/10.

The two highlights of the meal were the kippers; and the cutting of my finger with the little knife. Hahaha! Well, I’ve not done this for ages, it had to come.

Sweet Morpheus was again reluctant to come. I got up and turned on the TV, undoubtedly as good a counter to my insomnolence, as anything? And found a football match was about to start. My third favourite team of them all, Burnley away to Norwich, was live on the box! I stayed awake through the whole match and after-comments! Burnley won 2-0, but it was against a Nine-men team, Norwich had two men sent off!

Then, I turned off the set, had a marathon wee-wee, and tried again to get to sleep.

The door chimes rang-out – Sod-it! I’d forgotten all about the Amazon delivery coming! I scrambled up out of the recliner, put the dressing gown on and hobbled with haste to the door. The chap was still there, bless him, and he handed me the parcel with the toe-clippers and camera case in it. I thanked him, and returned to the room, and put the box on the Ottoman, that’ll have to be checked in the morning.

Then the iconoclastic Thought-Storms started! And on they rambled. Guilt, fears, shame, disappointments and failures all had a bash at me.

I had to get up for a leak once more, and Dizzy Dennis nearly had me over again. I dealt with the once-again marathon wee-wee, waited patiently for the after-dribble to stop, then got back into the recliner. Amazingly, Sweet Morpheus came quickly this time. Ahh!

8 thoughts on “Inchcockski: Saturday 18th July 2020 – My predilection for a quiet, Whoopsiedangleplop-free life, is failing!

  1. Toenail clippers? Are you going to try and tackle your terrifyingly tyrannical toenails? I hope you go super heavy duty clippers. Legs don’t look too bad. Nicely arranged dinner.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Peering at the sky at *any* time of day is a marvelous idea, according to my ideages. My three siblings and I shared an attic of a two-bedroom house in the 1950s. It would get so hot in the summer — we didn’t even have a fan — that we would sleep outside whenever possible and gaze up at the sky. In those days, light pollution did not obscure the view of the stars in a clearly recognizable Milky Way, the anticipated meteors, and the roar of insects. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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