The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe – Page 74

Inchcock Today Sun 14 Feb: Valentine Day?

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates, so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.
Saint Peter: “This fence needs some repair. I’ll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it.”

Lucifer: “If you want it fixed, you pay for it.”

Saint Peter: “The fence is partly your responsibility, and you will help pay for it, or I will sue you for that amount.”

Lucifer: “Ha! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!”

*****

Sunday 14 February 2016

Valentines Day – I expect to be busy!

Gave up trying to sleep. I arose around 0250hrs, got up, I passed wind, visited the porcelain, then made a cup of tea.

I found myself in a sombre mood for some reason or other. Perhaps the dreams had been of a particular melancholic nature?

Another visit to the bathroom, this time, to use the throne. This revealed the agony and blood from the rear end Hemorrhoids to be of a tenderness and inflammability not known before!

Laptop on to start this diary, and when I sat down, I almost took off again with the surprise at the shock at the pain the little devils were giving me!

Oh, dearie me!

Settling down after a few minutes trying to arrange things between my rear-end and the cushion that was mutually agreeable to both, and not too painful: Another sudden involuntary escapage of wind developed, that felt a little risky. So I had to get up and go to visit the bathroom again to check things out. Then go through all the palaver again of re-settling in the least painful position possible. Tut!

Inchcock was not very happy at all at this stage of the day. Humph!

No chance of doing any of the plans of cleaning up yet.

I had hoped to get the kitchen done today, but the piles were preventing me from doing so; Well, the pain and bleeding from them every time I moved, sat down or passed any wind, were.

Horrible isn’t it? One thing after another. Hey-ho, never mind, looking back at some of the stupid stuff I did as a youngster, makes me think I deserve to suffer like this. Gloom and self-reproach dawned.

0400hrs: took the medications – the dosage pots will need doing later. This task I can manage I reckon, no bending involved. Of course, all I have to do now is remember the job need doing, and stay awake long enough to get it done. Hehe!

I visited the bathroom again, to clean my teeth because the inside of my mouth felt, dry, furry somehow. More bother here.

On looking in the mirror (Something I like to keep to a minimum), I espied blotches all over me face, cracked lips and bleeding from inside and around the gums?

Was I rotting away? Haha!

Dispirited even more now, I spoke with myself and told me, “You can only expect these things at your age mate! With all your problems you’re lucky to be here, you should have croaked ages ago!” This did cheer me up a little.

I Considered changing the instructions for my gravestone wording to: “He Came, He Failed, He Went – It was cruel that he was allowed to come in the first place!” Hehehe!

I settled (gingerly and carefully) back into the chair at the laptop and finished yesterday’s diary off and posted it.

Started an Ode post, hoping it would sound amusing to anyone reading it like.

Got it finished and posted.

The morning had shot by; it was gone 0700hrs already.

I think I might, after my bath, have a walk up into Woodthorpe Grange Park and see if I can find something decent to photographicalise?

The main event – the Bathing!

Fun was getting out of the bath today. Oh yes! The right leg was easier, but this didn’t stop it giving way on me as I tackled the job of standing up after my scrub and soak. Oh No! Then the task of actually getting me leg over (Not good at this) left me sprawled half-in-half-out of the tub, spreadeagled so as to speak. Eventually, I did manage to free myself only to bang the leg on the side of the bath as I did so. some surprising language burst forth, but I couldn’t resist seeing the funny side of it all.

Took the last of my Angina under-tongue lozenge. The GP is stopping them.

Then I got Little Inchy well dried and the Betamethasone corticosteroid cream on his lesion. Phorpain gelled the knees ankles and hands. Cetraben creamed the marks on my face neck and arms. Applied the pile’s cream on me rear end.

I’ll be glad when they get around to doing the Haemorrhoidectomy, I think.

Sorted out the medication into their time-related colour coded little dosage pots

All proof that here: that growing old can have just a few drawbacks. Hehe!

Then I got myself wrapped up well, and set off on my walk up to the park.

The weather was surprisingly good this morning. No rain, the winds had dropped at last, and the sun was out! The sky and clouds were bright!

I went via the back route over the field. The climb was a bit dodgy underfoot, as the rain had not drained away. But the sight of the Bluebells forcing their way through the muddy soil cheered me up a bit.

I hobbled up to the path, turned and took a photographicalisation of the Woodthorpe Court flats I’d departed from earlier. Then I walked along the road, and onto the grass (Bit dodgy again underfoot here) and down to the end of the park, to take a photograph of the full-size model of a train-engine front, cleverly added to the old entrance to a tunnel.

I was sad to see that the yobboes had added some more graffiti around it.

Getting out from there was another task that needed care on my behalf. The soil and what bit of grass thereabouts were very wet and slippery.

Hey-ho, I managed to get back up to the footpath without any undo hiatus.

Farther up the walkway, I took a photograph to the North of Nottingham, towards Mansfield and Sutton.

I don’t know if the detail will show in the distance on this shot, but it is virtually nearly all housing estates.

I stood and watched some of the locals with their dogs, all having a good time.

Although there were not that many out and about today, perhaps it was a little early?

Then made my way down the gravel path to the flats.

The clouds in the sky looked amazing to me.

Got to the bottom of the hill and, Whoopsidangleplop; I hit me leg on one of the giant stones as I passed it.

I’ve flipping been in agony with it since.M

I had to catch it right on the torn muscle part didn’t I?

Humph and curse!

I limped up to the flat.

Took the medications. Laptop on, and updated this effort.

Got some fodder ready, took me a while and I got it wrong in places.

Lamb and veg stew, I added some gravy, but it had gotten a bit cold somehow? And when laying it out, I put the potato scones back in the oven to warm a bit longer and forgot about them.

Oh dear!

I was so tired and weary again. I did nothing of any value other than watching some A-Team videos in between nodding off and rewinding!

I’d forgotten how bad, yet funny they were.

Inchcock Today Sat 13 Feb 16:

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!”, he whined.

“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!”, retorted the officer. “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”

“Oh no!”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. “Where’s my Rolex?!”

Saturday 13 February 2016

Another terrible night, a multitude of semi-repetitive dreams, none of which I can recall in any detail at all. Something about being in floods, canals and struggling to carry my bag of shopping?

Artist blogger and Cyber-friend, the lovely Lady Patti Beckert, was in there somewhere?

The sleep seemed to come in ten minute periods; I was waking up so often.

Gave up around 0400hrs, got up and visited the porcelain. Had to clean up the blood from the piles and poor Little Inchy, and then the bathroom where it had splashed all over the place in the process.

The mind was hard to concentrate on anything for some reason too.

The innards were beginning to rumble. Oh dear.

The torn muscle was I thought, a little easier. But of course, I hadn’t started doing any walking yet.

I hope the lifts are working today, I’ve got to get some laundry done. Well, that is if a machine is free, it being the weekend like.

Must get my computing pleasures finished ASAP today and get the laundry done, then get some much-needed cleaning and tidying up tackled.

Not feeling my usual self this morning. No singing to myself, my vivacity and gusto have abandoned me. Hehe!

So, I checked and responded to the one email. Made a cuppa and took the medications, and checked on Facebook.

Did some graphicationalising, and then got the laundry things ready.

Had a good soak in the bath and titivated myself.

I got down to the laundry room.

Good job the lifts were operational, I’m glad to say.

Got the washing in and going, then to the foyer to try and do me crosswords.

Stayed there, until the washing was completed. Transferred the clobber into the dryer.

Not many people about today.

I popped back up to the flat and got the things ready for my planned trip out to get some nosh.

Back down to the laundry room, machine finished, packed the togs into the bag. Cleaned the filter out, and back up and put the clobber away.

Out to the bus-stop, the right leg didn’t seem as bad as yesterday. Then I managed without any undo effort to get on the wrong bus.

By the time I got off of the bus in Sherwood, the leg was giving much grief again, so I decided to potter around Sherwood in the hopes of getting a small jug to use for me milk and some bread.

I limped over to Wilko’s to search for a jug. They did have some in, but they were over £3. Came out with a pack of disposable one-use small foil trays with lids that I could use in the oven cooking.

Called into the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop, dropped off some bits, and looked fro a small jug. No luck.

Back up to the bus-stop, and found an L9 was due in 15 minutes, so I waited for it to arrive.

Back at the flats, I limped up and found a letter from the Government Pensions people; it had been forwarded from the old address. So I must get help in ringing them to inform them of my new address Monday.

Got the kettle on. Made a cuppa, and got my meal prepared.

The last of the boiled spuds, the last beef slice, the last of the chestnut mushrooms, the last of the Irish potatoes, some nice chestnuts and bread thins.

Now I’ve begun to master the gravy making, I used the water from the mushroom saucepan to make it with. Gorgeous!

Unfortunately, I continued eating and nibbling for the rest of the night as well!

Once again, the fatigue and weariness overcame me suddenly.

Dosing frequently now and nibbling often.

Woke up with stomach ache around 0245hrs, and stayed up.

Hey-ho!

Inchcock Today Thur 12 Feb 16: Not good

Inchcock Today Friday 12 February 2016

Well well, fancy that now, I woke up in agony, but not with the right legs torn muscle that was not too bad at all, then again I hadn’t started walking about yet had I? But with the bad reflux valve! I think I’ve said this before, but if anyone opens a book on what I’ll snuff it from, put yer dosh on the Reflux Valve.

Recalled a bit of a dream I’d had from what kipping I got in. Lynton Cox, a good friend and cyber buddy, was leant over me, and he was taking bits out from my open stomach as I lay on what looked like a dentist’s chair. Each time he removed a piece of flesh, tubing or other meat, he would ‘Tut’ and explain to me why I had been put together wrongly? Then he threw it at the dart board on the wall? He was very accurate too, they all landed on the piece of innards extracted before over the Bull! I vaguely recall something about being crammed into a giant test tube? That’s all I remember.

0300hrs I got up and to the porcelain, no big hiatus this morning. Little Inchy bleeding just a bit, the piles the same. However the putrid emissions of wind were lengthy, and even a slight little ‘plop’ escaping caused concern at the stink it created. Phoo! I imagined the headline: “286 pensioners found dead in their apartment building, the 287th survived…” Hehe!

Made a cuppa had a banana and took the medications.

Started the laptop and loaded CorelDraw… well, I tried to!

Whoopsiedangleplop number one of the day!

Of course, it loaded then – but with the changes I had I’d made trying to get it to load, I had to spend hours doing the initial set-up again, because it loaded as if it was the first time it had been installed! All my options and customisation’s had to be reset! What a picklement!

Hey-ho; I’m just so glad it came back on. Although thoroughly bamboozled as to why it didn’t load in the first place, and why the McAffee thingy didn’t let me know there was a problem?

Made another cuppa and got on with doing the graphicalisation on the top left of this page.

Then I finished the Lynton graphic off.

I thought I might use it as a Caption Competition?

Then did some Facebooking.

It seemed like the computer foul-up had cost me nearly the whole day.

Although I had done nowt physical at all, I felt suddenly drained!

Set to work creating my dinner.

Beef pasty, green beans, boiled potatoes, beetroot, bread cake, and sweet potatoes and made some thick tasty gravy. n

Followed by a banana and lemon cheesecake.n

Rated this one 9.6/10. By gum I enjoy it!

Watched a Frost DVD, fell asleep. Woke up, put the TV on, fell asleep.n

Woke up with an open tub of sweets at my side?

Little Inchy bleeding again. Cleaned him up, de-matted him and ointmentationalised him.

Made a cuppa, fell asleep…

Inchcock Today Thur 11 Feb 16: Oh, the pain Hehehe!

Thursday 11 February 2016

Well, what a start to the flipping day!

Stirred around 0245hrs in need of a visit to the porcelain, to find ‘Little Inchy’ had been bleeding away profusely. Made a mess all over me nightwear and the bathroom. Heck of a job slowing it down, couldn’t stop it fully. As I write this, his lesion is still leaking a bit.

I’m still suffering from the marathon 24 flights of stairs I had to climb yesterday to get back into the flat. As I thought about my condition, I made up a line or two of a song, to the tune of ‘Shaking All Over’.

I was pleased with coming up with this little ditty, went into the kitchen to make a cuppa and dropped the milk from the fridge all over myself and the floor! I really had got the shakes and aches this morning.Feeling the cold too, but that is to be expected with INR blood level so high again, making the blood too thin. I reckon that is why Little Inchy is bleeding so much?

Feeling the cold too, but that is to be expected with the INR blood level so high again, making the blood too thin. I reckon that is why Little Inchy is bleeding so much?

Cleaned up the spilt milk. That should prompt a metaphor, but I can’t think of one. Huh!

I nipped out to check the lifts; they were not working. I thought I heard some noises from within them, so assumed the engineers were still working to repair them?

Got back to the kitchen and made another cuppa, carefully. Took my medications.

With all the hassle I’d had this morning, it was two hours after I had got up before I got settled on the laptop.

I’m not looking forward to climbing down those stairs again. I did say I’d see Brother-in-law Pete to sort his laptop out, but I’ll have to give it a miss I think, go tomorrow when the lifts are going again.

The torn muscle, the reflux valve and having to clean Little Inchy are a hassle, at the moment.

Had a start at doing a birthday greeting to go on Facebook for Frankie Jordon, fellow blogger and jolly good egg.

All

the best

Frankie!

Have

one

great

brilliant

Birthday!

Cheers!

I then made another cup of tea and started doing some Facebooking.

Spur of the moment thing here. Due to my thinking how much easier the leg was today, I decided to have a run out to Arnold and get some bits of nosh in.

I enjoyed a quick bath and got out to catch the bus. The lifts were working now.

Had a wander around Asda, taking my time so as to judge the timing to catch the last L9 bus that would take me back to the flats.

The leg was still hurting, but I reckon it was less so than yesterday.

I got more stuff than I planned, so struggled to the bus stop. When I arrived, I noticed the seating bench next to the bus-stop, took a photo of it.

Apart from the missing slats of wood, those left were infested with lice, worms or insects of some kind.

I wasn’t tempted to have a sit on it. Hehe!

At the bus-stop, there were several folk awaiting. Three of the gals were discussing the cloud formations and one was asking if the others could see what they looked like, and giggling enthusiastically among themselves?

I looked but could not identify what was causing the humour?

So I took a photo of where they were pointing and looking.

Can any of you see what amused them please?

Caught the bus, and Jean from flat 43 got on the bus. I bet you’re impressed that I knew/remembered her name and flat number?

Fair enough, I didn’t, she told me on the bus, and I wrote it down on my bus schedule. She was talking about her books, Sky television and DVDs. I mentioned I had some DVDs she could have and asked her which flat she was in, so I could take them to her tomorrow.

The leg started to get worse again, and the reflux valve was sticking a bit again, sticking in the open position, this time, I’m afraid. So embarrassingly I sat there with uncontrollable noisy sharp bursts of wind coming up all the journey. The looks I got from the other passengers prompted me to tell Jean, in between the bursts of wind of the reflux problems.

By the time we arrived back at the flats, the valve was working again. We poddled up the lift, Jean dropping off on the 4th floor I think.

I gave her some nibbles, said my cheerios and continued to the 12th floor, got in and consulted the timetable I’d written Jeans details on and realised I’d only written a ‘3’ as her flat number. But I’m sure it should have been 43. I’ll find out tomorrow when I drop off the DVDs.

I put away my purchases.

The Rankin Wholemeal Irish Soda Bread was only £1 today at Asda.

Excellent when toasted with lashings of naughty butter and seedless Blackcurrant jam on them.

Of course, I don’t eat butter, but rather the more healthy tasteless lard-like tasting health things, ProActive and Flora.

A call to the porcelain was received from the innards. I found Little Inchy had at last stopped bleeding after I cleaned him up from the matted condition the poor chap was in. No bleeding from the piles either! Good that, as I expected more bother with the INR level being so high. Crossed fingers.

I set about getting the dinner ready.

Chestnut mushrooms, green beans, garden peas, boiled potatoes, potato cakes, beetroot, lettuce, and tomatoes (that I didn’t eat, I’d forgotten how foul they tasted).

Toasted some soda bread slices, two with Marmite on them, and two with Blackcurrant jam.

I didn’t eat it all, about two-thirds I’d think. Eyes bigger than the belly again?

Washed the pots up and fell well drained into me 1967 built armchair. Feet up on the little storage box thing, TV and headphones on, medications taken…

Drifted off to sleep within minutes.

Woke again an hour later, Brother-in-law Pete had rung me to tell me I could see the Space-Station in the sky in eight minutes.

I thanked him and fell asleep again.

Eight minutes later Sister Jane rang me to tell me it was in view now!

So I painfully encouraged the knees and legs to get me into the kitchen.

Sure enough, I saw it, a yellowish spot in the night sky – it moved very quickly upwards and out of view.

Got another call to the porcelain – Little Inchy in another right state matted and needed de-blooding and cleaning.

When I had finished and walked back into the living room, Arthur Itis made himself known in no uncertain terms. Now, if he carries on like this, same time as the torn muscle, I could find myself struggling a bit.

The twinges from the knees and right leg managed to keep waking up repeatedly throughout the rest of the night. I gave up around 0300hrs and made a cuppa and got the laptop on.

Tsk!

Inchcock Today Wed 10 Feb 16: Visit to FraserBrown Solicitors this morning

Wednesday 10th February 2016

Got up gingerly at around 0320hrs.

The leg seemed a bit easier this morning, but then I haven’t done any walking yet have I? By the time I got to the porcelain it had started aching and hurting again. Tsk!

Little Inchy was bleeding, the piles were bleeding, and the reflux valve was sticking again. Still the other ailments were behaving themselves.

I put the kettle on and pondered on the needs of the day.

No chance of any imperturbation for me here either. Steve Age UK arriving 0930hrs, we’re to bus into town and see the FraserBrown, the pretend solicitors, to sign some paperwork, and find out how the and lies

So I planned out my anticipated routine: Get the diaries done early and out of the way. If time, to work on the graphic I’m creating. Get my ablutions and bathing sorted early. The mind seemed to wander off at this point…

I got myself a cuppa and took the medications. Lathered some pain gel on my legs, I’m not sure if it helps with the torn muscle, but it shouldn’t do any bad.

Washed the pots up, passed a painful emission of wind and got the laptop on and did the diary for Tuesday.

Meat flies around the flat again?

Started this diary off.

Had a good spit polish and soak in the bath. Pain-gelled the legs and feet again. Treated Little Inchy.

An interesting little incident occurred after I cleaned the bath.

I spent ten minutes trying to scrub off the shadow from the bath that was cast from the plug. Tsk!

Next time, I’ll put me spectacles back on after drying myself off and cleaning the bath!

Laptop on to record the plug happening.

**0410hrs: Electic Fire Mystery Noises?**

There seemed to be a rattling noise coming from the electric fire area?

I never did find out what it was.

Huh! I might find out later, had me hearing aid in too.

I’ll ask Steve to have a harken at it.

Got the rubbish bags made up from the bin ready to take down with me when we go out.

Awaited the arrival of Steve. Steve rang. he will meet me in town at Burtons on Friar Lane.

I took the recycle box down with me and left it at the caretakers door.

Caught the bus into town, dropped off on Upper Parliament Street.

The Nottiinghomian’s were out in number.

I almost got knocked over twice as they rushed passed me and caught me good knock on the shoulder.

I struggled to Friar Lane, where Steve was waiting patiently for me. The leg was now as painful as yesterday.

We went up the hill to the FraserBrown offices and entered. Steve did the talking. We were sent to a back room, where the lady dealing with the house sale arrived shortly.

She explained what I had to sign. To assure the new buyer that the entrance at the end of the houses was an access route?

Then her solicitor arrived, I signed the form, he went and she told me that was it!.

I limped back into the City Centre with Steve. Told him he might as well get going, I’d catch the bus in town. Thanked him and wished him well.

The bus was not due for another 30 minutes, so I had a wander around and returned in time to catch the five minutes passed the hour bus.

It arrived at fifteen minutes passed the hour.

Had to make an effort not to nod off on the journey.

As I was getting off the bus, the tenants who were waiting to get on it all burst into either a smile or laughter; Frank said “You’ll never make it in that state” as he saw me limping – “Both the lifts were out of action!” Argh, just when I’ve got me torn muscle – Humph!

I set about mounting the twenty-four flights of concrete stairs.

Many folks on the way up or down, chuntering away bless them! I actually caught up with an old lady struggling more than the others. I offered to carry her shopping bag up for her.

I should have known it – she was on the fifteenth floor! So went up with her, then walked back down to the twelfth and the flat.

Shattered!

Rang Sister Jane to update her.

Then got my meal on the cook. Lamb casserole with black bean sauce in the oven, added some roast potato halves later. Trimmed the green beans and mushrooms got them simmering away in the saucepan. stirred the stew after half an hour, added the boiled potatoes to the pan.

Laptop on to update this tosh.

Got the meal

Inchcock Today Mon 8 Feb 16: Plans go askew… again! Hehehe!

Monday 8th February 2016

Kept waking up throughout the night, most disturbing!

Got up around 0400hrs. I remembered the Morrison delivery coming twixt 0830>0930 hrs. This won’t leave me much time to get to the surgery for me INR blood test at 1000 hrs. I just hope it arrives early, and then I might make it to the GP in time. The dodgy leg will make my walk there slower, still, I’ll take me stick with me.

Got to get back for 1600 hrs, for the Asda delivery. Now, you may ask; Why the heck did I order food from two places on the same day? I know I ask myself ‘Why the heck did I order food from two places on the same day!’ Huh!

When I stirred and moved to go to the WC, the cramp-like pains were activated immediately when I stood up? On the bright side, there was only a modicum of blood from ‘Little Inchy’, and the piles were bloodless!

I hobbled into the kitchen, made a cuppa and took my medications.

Then, made sure the Haematology Record card was in my coat pocket, and added the camera, just in case owt interesting occurred on my walk.

Haven’t heard anything back from Steve Age UK about us going to see the solicitor to sign some papers yet?

Had an early bath and did me ablutions so I was all ready to shoot off after the Morrisons delivery.

The wind was howling outside again, and the rain started to fall.

Well, that cheered me up no end that did. Humph!

If the Morrisons van comes late, even at 0930hrs, I should make it in time to get to the GP INR blood test in time; Put the stuff away hurriedly and catch 0939 hr bus down the hill into Sherwood, and walk into Carrington.

Then I phoned the GP and got my appointment cancelled and made for tomorrow at 12 20 hrs.Oh dear, change of plans, 0940hrs the driver called he is behind and will be half an hour or so late.

Oh, dear, more change of plans, 0940hrs, the driver called, he is behind and will be half an hour or so late.

Oh dear, change of plans, 0940hrs the driver called he is behind and will be half an hour or so late. I told him I’d cancelled my appointment at the GP, so it didn’t matter now, and to take care on the roads. (As it is still a howling wind and the rain was beating down something awful!)

While waiting for MR Morrison to arrive, I checked the emails and found one from Steve Age UK. The buyers want a reduction due to the dump and boiler? Steve will be calling in the morning to see me.

Morrison’s arrived 1012 hrs. Poor chap in a pickle, an accident on the motorway delayed him.

Put the nosh away quickly and got ready to go out to catch the bus to town, and then get the tram out to Hucknall.

Change of plans again, I got into town and walked no further than a few yards when became apparent that walking a long way would was not a good idea for the right leg. Too painful.

I went in the Victoria Centre, to Tesco and got some bread thins and potato cakes.

Then limped to the bus stop on Upper Parliament Street.

Not too many folk about in the rain and wind. I can’t blame them either.

It was getting dark a little early this afternoon.

All the people on the bus sounded a little depressed, and chuntering on about the gloomy, windy weather.

As the bus travelled through the estate, I could not see anyone out and about at all?

The rain came on even heavier now.

Storm Imogen, to blame I expect?

Much worse and the buses will not be able to get through. Tsk!

I noticed that today, I was walking with the right foot sticking out to the right, to keep the pain down? Puzzling?

I got off the bus at the flats, struggled to get up to the apartment, with the leg no easier. Once in the flat, I had the brainwave of doing the laundry, as I had two and a bit hours before the Asda delivery might come.

I checked my legs and put some more Phorpain gel on them both, although it was the slightly more swollen and hard, very more sore bottom of the right leg that needed it applying.

Got the laundry ready and popped down in the lift with my crossword book and pen. And Lilly

I got the washing in the machine and toyed with the crosswords – mostly cheating to get the answers as my brain was not it gear at all.

The lobby was barren of tenants as I did this.Lilly

A few did walk through and out; I gave each one a cheery ‘Hello’, ‘How are you keeping’ or ‘Horrible weather again.’ comment.

None of them replied, responded or acknowledged me.

After a while, old Lilly came and sat in her favourite chair, in seek of companionship bless her cotton socks.

So I gave her some nibbles and had a good chinwag with her.

When I was taking the finished washing from the machine to the dryer, Elsie from the 7th floor came down to remove her washing from the other dryer. I took it out for her and put it in her laundry trolley.Then cleaned out the filter.

Then cleaned out the filter.

We had a natter.

Got the dryer going and Lilly’s Granddaughter arrived – Lilly looked so happy, it made my day. I thanked the girl for coming to see her.

These names, by the way, Lilly and Ethel; I think they are the names of the actual people, or they may be those I’ve given to them? Hehe!

More failed cross-wording attempted.

Back up to the flat. Started feeling a bit sorry for myself with the leg, the solicitor and buyer getting awkward too. And all my plans being upset. Hey-ho!

Decided tonight to have lettuce, tomatoes (Although they are horrible bad Spanish ones that claimed on the pack to be “Baby plum tomatoes” but tasted more like misshaped bitter red acid drops), Cooked Pork and loin sarnies, garden peas, beetroot and toasted jam soda bread sarnies for afters. Well, that’s the plan as of now like.

I made a strong cup of tea, took the medications then got the laptop on and updated this diary.

Tired out now, and niggly at myself with the ever-nagging pain in the right leg.

The meal ended up consisting of;

Beetroot, Potato scones, garden peas, lettuce, pork sarnies, and buttered toasted Irish soda bread. Followed by a delicious strawberry cheesecake.

The chronically bitter-sour Spanish tomatoes were discarded to the waste bin.

Washed the pots, pain gelled the leg again and put on a Frost DVD, Keys to the car.

The DVD was still on when I woke up around 0135hrs to use the porcelain, and stayed up, as the pain from the leg was preventing me getting back to sleep.

Humph!

Inchcock Today Sun 7 Feb 16: Sister Jane visited the flat for the first time today – Cheered me up!

Sunday 7th February 2016

I sprang awake at 0330hrs. For a few seconds I recalled a lot of the dream I had been having, and then it faded so fast. Tsk!

Moving the legs was not as bad or painful as yesterday morning, but still not good.

To the WC, Little Inchy bleeding a bit, and the constipation was a lot easier. I’m anticipating the rumbling innards to switch places with it again soon.

As I walked to the kitchen, I took note of the things that needed attention in the flat: before Sister Jane’s arrival to do her investigatory inspection of the apartment.

Grave concerns lingered about how she would declare the state of the place – then start telling me what I’d done wrong, not done, needed to do and must not do.

I made a cuppa, took the medications and started the laptop to do the diary.

Did a graphic and posted it off.

Wrote a funny Ode to go with it.

Then titivated around looking for anything that might get me for rollicking from Jane when she gets here.

Had a good shave, did me teggies and somehow managed to get into the bath. Getting out was a little harder, but no hiatus ensued. Doctored Little Inchy, dolloped Phorpain gel on me knees, lower right leg, feet, the neck, hands and wrist.bath

Got myself into all clean clothes, washed my spectacles and hearing aids, polished my head, scrubbed the bath sink and WC. Then I checked for any spots of dust I might have missed.

Oh no, Janets inspection visit isn’t worrying me at all!

Well…

Jane rang to inform she and Pete would be here around at around 1100hrs.

After taking the medications I had a good shave, teggies, I took a bath, soaked in Radox and Dettol. Lovely! And getting on and out, was the usual painful exercise.

Jane and Pete arrived.

Had a jolly good natter, and I was advised on the things I needed to do with the flat.

The TV was too small and not a new enough model; need updating.
Curtains were needed in the kitchen and living room.
The pipework in the bathroom was old fashioned and needed updating or masking.
The temperature in the kitchen was 5º below the recommended minimum.
The bedroom and the stuff in it need urgently sorting out.
The alarm box needs attaching to the wall.
Curtains for the living room must be two-part, one for the window, one for the glass door.
The electric fire that the previous tenant Margaret left behind needs a health and safety check.
A fitted cover is required, for the arm-chair.
The draughts coming in through the kitchen window and outer walls need putting right.
The walls are too bare.
The fridge is too close to the wall and window.
The Hallway is too dark, needs a new, different lighting mantle.
I must go and threaten the solicitors with going to use another lawyer to get them to hurry up and get on with selling the house – having waited six months since the sale was verbally agreed, and still no end it sight, is too long a time.

On the plus side, though:

They love the 1968 G-Plan cabinet thingy that I have.
They adored the corner display thingy.
They are pleased with me being in the flat now and away the yobboes.
They like how I’ve got the cleanliness of the place, despite the cracks in the walls covered thinly and badly with cheap paint.
They like my little hand-held Hoover.
They took the measurement for curtains and offered to check them out for me. Bless them!
Their interrogation was far less severe than I anticipated. Hehe!

They both listened to what I had to tell them, and that was nice.

Jane was in a good mood, although she was still feeling unwell, she’ll never know how much I appreciated their calling to see me today.

They had a cuppa with me, luckily I have got three mugs now.

Walked out with them, feeling relieved at how the visit had gone. Gave Jane a kiss and thanked them both, and off down the lift they went.

As they went down the lift, I realised I had not remembered to take any photographs of them – Tsk! I thought it would be a good idea to take one out of the kitchen window as they returned to their car.

I completely neglected to remember the mess the window makes when I open it. Phoned her on her mobile to tell her to look up so I could take a photograph of them. As I leant against the open window, the soot, grime, rust and dead flies tumbled into the newly cleaned kitchen sill, heater and floor, and all over me clothes!

I waved a cheerio, forgot all about taking the photo, and set about cleaning the kitchen up. It took me longer than when I cleaned it yesterday for their visitation!

Humph!

Oh, dear, more aches and pains now! Hehe!

I made some sandwiches, took the medications, with an extra magnesium tablet, and fell into the chair to watch some TV.

Nodded off almost immediately.

Inchcock Today Sat 6 Feb 16: Leg cramps still bad, not good this!

A man strolled into a Solicitors office and asked about the attorney’s rates. “£3000, for three inquiries”, answered the legal advisor.

“Isn’t that outrageously, terribly expensive,” asked the man.

“Yes,” the legal advisor answered, “and what was your third question?”

**********

Saturday 6th February 2016

I gave up trying to sleep about 0330 hrs and got up with great difficulty with the lower part of the legs in such pain. I was glad none of my other ailments were playing up because I don’t know how I’d cope with it along with these damned cramp-like discomforts.

But, I’m glad to be here still considering, so no grievances, just a little mention of the situation borne out of the frustration of the constant agony! Hehe, did I say that?

Got a call to the porcelain, and it took me so long to get there, I nearly had a Whoopsiedangleplop. Oh dear!

I put the kettle on to make a cuppa and take the medications. Looked around the kitchen and pondered on whether I’d be able to cope with cleaning it up later? The legs don’t play about at hurting when I walk, bend or stretch. I must get it as clean as I can because Sister Janet is making her first call at the flat for her inspection and criticism duties. Hehe! And she is so skilled at this! Her withering cynical look, the perfectly timed Tut combined with her little hardly deceptable tossing back of her head. Then there is the morale sagging curl of her lips when she disapproves of anything. She has honed these skills over the years, and I would rate her as one of the very best Critisisationists in the country, if not the world. She certainly scares me at the thought of her coming after I’ve been in the flat for five months.

No flat in history will have gone through such subtle, yet covertly vindictive an assessment as mine is due to have tomorrow. It certainly scares me at the thought of her coming after I’ve been in the flat for five months.

So, I’ll have to go through the pain barrier to try and make sure nothing is out of place, dusty or untidy before her arrival. Not that there will be any chance on earth that she’ll find nothing wrong with it.

Of course, I’m joking?

I got yesterday’s diary finished and posted.

Now, I must get off this laptop and make the difficult start on doing the kitchen.

0915hrs: TTFN

1245hrs: I’m back!

I managed to get the kitchen done and sorted.

Doing the actual work was a little easier than I thought it might be, but still painful of yer know worra mean like?

The fridge offered a complex problem for cleaning it, though. The shelves wouldn’t come out as the installers had put it too close to the outer wall for the door to open far enough to access getting the shelves out to clean! After a few knocks and curse words, I managed to move it just far enough to do the job.

I’ve mastered the funny looking rag mop now.

It didn’t look too bad when I’d got it all finished.

Now I’ve got to keep it clean, ready for the inspection in tomorrow by Sister Jane.

I won’t do any cooking tonight; I’ll have sandwiches instead. I’ve got some cooked meat and the jam to use on them. Took the medications.

Fatigued now, almost burnt out.

The cramp in the lower leg, or whatever it is, remains bothersome.

I watched some TV without nodding off, so I tried reading a book, that did it.

Zzzz!

Inchcock Today 4 Feb 16: Hey-ho day

Thursday 4th February 2016

Woke around 0345hrs, to the porcelain, Little Inchy bleeding, piles, not bleeding, and I think the rumbling innards are starting again?

Got on with a graphicalisation of one of out TFZ gals, Gladys from Texas.

She mentioned in a comment on Facebook a witty mention of a ride-on-Hoover or vacuum.Then I did a graphic of Reg from the Troll Free Zone.

So I thought this one might tickle her a bit and give her a laugh.

Then I did a graphic of Reg from the Troll Free Zone.

I put his partner in it in the bushes like.Next, I updated one from earlier of Tom Greene.

A Castle or mansion in the background as part of the English Country Garden series I’d done.

Hope they all like them.Next, I updated one from earlier of Tom Greene.

Next, I updated one from earlier of Tom Greene.

I added a squirrel to the graphicalisation I did earlier.

Hope it gives his daughter a laugh, as she suggested the squirrel would be most fitting to the Pascagoula graphic.

Again, I hope they go down well on Facebook.

Made a cuppa and took the medications, and looked at the kitchen realising it needed a good cleaning and sorting. But I’m still suffering from the cleaning and sorting of the living room yet! Poor, old devil!

Finished off yesterday’s diary and started this one off.

Made another cuppa, the temperature on the thermometer in the kitchen was showing 58º f. I couldn’t hear the winds, that was good. The forecast was for heavy rain and winds for the next few days, so no change there.

Decided to do yet another graphic that an idea came to me with.

The plans didn’t work out, though – I got a telephone call from the dreaded solicitors! They want me to call at their offices and sign something to say I have used the entrance to gain access to the old house? And they wanted all the details about the central heating and plumbing. Most annoying, because seven days ago I asked Steve Age UK to sort it after we had agreed on what to do, and he said he’d take care of it all?

Uptight now.

Then I got some mail delivered, two for the previous tenant Margaret, one a bumph letter and one from the Age UK Nottingham people with a form for me to fill in.

I began to get dizzy spells, one or two bad ones so I’m not going out, feeling like this. Not good at all now. Listless with it. Maybe I overdid the cleaning up malarky?

Stomach beginning to churn again. Oh, I’m fed-up!

Took midday medications and had some fish cakes and cod balls.

Just sat down and turned off best I could – then forced myself to get a bath and do my ablutions.

Got the laundry stuff ready, and went down to the laundry room. (It took me over 2.5 hours in total – Humph!)

The electrical engineer was working on the fire alarm panel and was constantly on his mobile phone trying to get some advice from someone as to why it wouldn’t let him reset it.

One washer was free, but both dryers were in use. I estimated that I’d have about an hour for the washing to get done, and then 15 minutes to wait for the dryer to finish so I could use it, then an hour for that to end.

There was a new poster up on the wall. and

They tried to make it pretty, and the wording was straight to the point.and

But the Burke who took his drying out still didn’t clean the filter on the machine.

I sat in the foyer and did my crossword book, and the old dear from the 14th floor came in, and I gave her some nibbles.

When the washing was done, I nipped into the laundry room to take it out and into the bag in case anyone else arrived wanting to use the washer, while I waited for the bloke to remove his clobber from the dryer.

He came in and took them out before the end time. I found out he had not cleared the filter, so I did it after he’d gone. Got it going and nipped up the lift to the flat and used the WC.

Back down, and had a walk around the block of flats as it began to get a bit dark.

The wind and rain had died down somewhat.

Back in the foyer, the electrical engineer was still on his phone discussing what to do, why it was not allowing him to reset and informing the person on the other end: There had been three-alarm activations today, in different zones? Well if there were, I didn’t hear any of them! Tsk!

Managed a quick little natter with some tenants as they returned from their trips out.

More failed attempts at the crossword book, and the dryer was done at last. I collected the washing and returned to the flat and put some of them in the airing cupboard.

It might not look very tidy in this photo, that is because it isn’t very tidy, but there is a system in place, oh yes! Socks front right, jammies to the left of them, flannels and towels next left, shirts/jumpers right rear, underpants left back.

Got my fodder ready. Chicken breast fillet

BBQ Chicken breast fillet, 3 small slices of soda-bread toasted. This was followed with a pot of strawberry cheesecake and two small sarnies with butter and Blackcurrant conserve.,

Can you see the pot of conserve on the tray? I got some of these pots with blackcurrant, raspberry and strawberry flavours, as they are ideal for me. I don’t eat it very often and buying a large jar, I end up throwing so much away. These mini-jars hold just enough for two sandwiches. Rated this one at 9.1/10.

Fatigue and lethargy overcame me quickly. So I took me medications, washed the pots and got the TV on. The nodding off so often got to me, so I turned off the telly, and got my Classic Car magazine to read. Didn’t even get to open it… Zzz!

Hehe!

Inchcock Today: Tue 2 Feb 16: Got housemaids knee today!

Tuesday 2nd February 2016

Well, the Wee-weeing is still rampant – but the constipation is easing.

Woke up, and to the bathroom, Little Inchy no blood or soreness, haemorrhoids only the tiniest bit, Anne Gina splendid at the moment. Arthur Itis was not bad at all. The swollen legs have gone down a bit too! Hernia Joe, only twingeing. No dizzy spells yet. Ulcer no hassle whatever. TF things looking good now?

If I could stop Wee-Weeing, they could get my INR level steadied, and the reflux valve would give me some rest, all would be okay. But not complaining, making the best of this hiatus in my medical mayhems! Yee-ha!

Laptop on to start this diary.

Checked the emails.

Got the Grammarly Weekly Updated via email.

Some surprising figures in it.

I noticed they did not mention the volume of my grammar errors this time?

I think they must have realised if they had done so, I might have committed suicide? Hehe!

I love this Grammarly add-on.

Even though sometimes I get annoyed with myself for making the same mistakes all the time.

I don’t know how I managed without it.

The only downside is my not understanding many of the problems indicated when I get it wrong.

My lack of primary education has always been a drawback.

Made a cuppa and took the medications, remembering to take the extra one for diarrhea. Now there is a word that seems to have so many acceptable spellings, but not on Grammarly mind, so I’ve started to use their spelling for it. Diarrhea, diarrhoea, diarrhorea and diarrheic?

I really must get some cleaning up done today – get the laptop stuff done quickly and get on with it. My aim is the living room and kitchen both to me spit and polished, and the internet to be avoided and ostracized as much as possible. (We’ll see?)

The living room will take ages to get done, but needs must eh?

Then get my ablutions done all in time for the Morrison’s delivery coming.

Best laid plans?

I got on with the Facebooking and WordPressing.

0900hrs: I set about my tasks with a resolution little seen in me recently!

Started sorting a box brought from the old house.

What a job, it took me hours. It had model buses, computer peripherals, CD’s, paperwork and tools in it. It must have been one that Steve packed for me, cause I did me best with those I packed to categories the stuff in the same boxes.

Took me hours to do.

Then, the bookcase as dusted and rearranged. I used the bottom drawers for sewing stuff and computer things.

Then, on to polishing the leather chair. Came across a couple of marks on it, but couldn’t get them covered or off. Humph!

Then, the electric fireplace was cleared, cleaned and restocked with clock, photo, plaque, Margaret Thatcher squeaky toy and my truncheon. Having to get down on the floor to get to clean it properly caused a nasty predicament, I couldn’t get back up again, and then I got cramps in my legs! Then in my hands/fingers!

Then, cleared, dusted and polished my 1968 G-plan sideboard and the Video box I keep my electricals in under the TV and Help-call box. That was an easy job.

I treated them to Lord Sheraton Caretaker Furniture Polish. (Snob!)

Next, the TV, alarm box, writing desk and bureau were given some attention. Then, the computer and electric boxes were titivated.

I found the missing Sony camera while searching through a box! I put it on charge (Well, thought I did) when I found the connector and it showed red straight away. An hour or so later I realised the button was showing red still, and thought it was taking a while to charge up! Der! The button was coloured red! The actual charging light near the connector was showing no colour – so I plugged it in this time and charged it proper like. Dumbo!

Moved on to the corner stand and dusted polished it along with the photographs. Another travail to get back up!

Then, the carpets were Hoovered using the main mini-one and the hand-held in the corners. This left me, with a rather painful backache.

I had wanted to do the windows, but due to the time approaching for the food delivery to arrive, and my being worn-out and shattered, I decided enough was enough of this house-working! I didn’t have the energy or time to think even about doing the kitchen. And, with the cramps and backache, didn’t think I’d manage it tomorrow either.

I made up two of the four-drawer chests to use. Unfortunately, I thought they were the same as the previous ones I’d bought from Wilko – but no! They are smaller and have no wheels in them, and, the do not stack properly. Bogwindlingly Bad these!

Most dissatisfying!

I took the cardboard and popping bubble paper down to the caretakers room. Frank (A tenant) was nattering to him when I arrived after plugging strugglingly away to get the gigantic box down to him. So I joined in the chin-wag with them. Poddled back up to the flat.

I washed out the cleaning cloths and dusters and hung them up to dry, along with the walking stick that I’d used the wood dye on.

Then went down to the lobby to await the Morrison’s delivery. The old dear from the 14th floor was there, and we had a natter, and I started doing an acrostic puzzle – Oh dear, the cramps in the fingers put an end to that, then cramp in the upper back legs came on. Too much bending and polishing perhaps?

I nipped back up to take a Magnesium tablet and got some nibbles for the old dear. I feel sorry for her, she is not with it completely, and so many people seem to ignore and avoid her. Then I noticed the Whoopsiedangleplop I’d made: I’d left the hot tap running, so now no hot water! Huh! Went back down and the cramps started again.

The delivery came, and I put away the things.

I took a photo of the living room to see if I could see all the back-breaking works results compared to the photograph that I’d took before I started the cleaning up and titivating of the previously location.

Was it worth all that trouble, sweat and pain I asked myself?

No windows cleaned.

I thought I had an excuse for not doing the outside of the windows at least, due to the wind and rain?

The DVD stand not sorted or cleaned.

I wondered why I wanted to put myself through all that pain?

So I had a spray around with the Dettol citrus fresh-air canister, to try and satisfy myself that it was worth while.

Still no hot water. I’ve had the thermostat on for two hours now, and the Night Rate should have been heating it up by now surely? But, none available. Just when I needed a bath, too. But, although I blame myself for leaving the tap running, why has the night Storage or the thermostat not heated any water in two and a half hours?

I’ll report it in the morning I suppose.

Laptop on and updated this, had a cuppa and took the medications.

Feeling a tad sorry for myself now.

Too late for me to do any Facebooking, so tired. I should be feeling proud of my efforts, but the hot water farrago is disheartening me.

Got me nosh out of the oven.

Anya potatoes pulled pork and baked BBQ beans, and two slices of Polish Country bread.

Rated this one as 9.59/10.

Thoroughly shattered, tired, injured, cramp-ridden and so annoyed with me for leaving the hot water tap running, I felt I’d not done too good today.

Got the goggle-box on and I must have been too overly tired, cause it took me hours to nod-off. The twinges of cramp didn’t help mind.