Wednesday 13^th May 2015

Woke in  a state of panic and nervousness, with a bit of shame in there somewhere too. I’ve been dreaming of the (possible) new flat in the sheltered complex again and animals chasing me, all sorts hyenas, giant rats and snakes I remember being amongst them.

Took me readings, but without any enthusiasm. Feeling pitifully ashamed of myself for some reason. Sys153 Dia75 Pulse79 Temp36.2c.

Noticed the sky was brighter this morning and took a photo of it – purely from habit, I have no interest in what the sky looks like today.

Too intent on worrying about my having to go begging for help this morning, help with the sorting the Flea-pit out in time for the visit from the housing inspector checks on me to see if I am accepted for the flat.

Sat for ages musing and planning what to say when I get their with no decisions made.

Lynton gave me some tips and encouragement over the phone, but I am a different person now – the bubbly have a laugh side of me has gone for a bit. Tsk! All worry and fretting. Dreading to go and plead for help from strangers and ashamed for having to. I don’t feel up to it, but needs must.

The guts are aching and grinding now as well. The angina and arthritis not too bad though – but my concerns are having to go and… oh, I’ve said this already, sorry.

Getting het-up with myself now a bit.

Started the laptop to begin this diary, and it froze when I tried to do owt? Lost me sidebar, well it froze with nowt but outline showing – and that had me notes from Lynton on the notepad – Shit!

Restarted and the same again. Turned off and back on got message from AVG about virus – it keeps coming on regular now and I have to select ‘Remove’ regularly.

That’s all I want innit!

Eventually forced myself to spruce-up and get ready to go to town and the Age Concern place to beg for help.

The plan is to (according to what happens at Age Concern) then try the Salvation Army.

Not looking forward to this at all.

I hope I don’t forget me Skin Cancer removal appointment next Thursday – oh Christ, that’s the day when the housing assessor is coming. Tsk! Bolloc… I’ll have to call at the Complex and explain on me way out – oh am I getting uptight and bothered or what.

A good job I temporarily regained me senses later – it is in June me surgery not May – nearly another Whoopsiedangleplop there!

Somehow I remembered the jewel thingy I found weeks ago and handed in to the police station and I actually found the form, so I took it with me.

Left and caught the bus into town.

Called at the Central police station as it is facing the Age UK place I was dreading going into to plead me case for help assistance or being given a lethal injection. Hehe!

The stairs up into the station are getting larger I think. I joined the queue and waited… then read a free paper kindly supplied for inquiring Nottingham citizens to keep them occupied while waiting… I read the whole Metro newspaper… I fiddled about in me bag… I scratched various parts of my anatomy… then the one receptionist called next and a bloke jumped in front of me and got served… I reread the sports pages… then got in and handed her me Found property form.

She started searching the files and drawers. I read the newspaper again… she disappeared into the back and every one who joined the queue asked ‘Are you being served?’ Eventually she returned with another form for me to fill in and sign. I got the jewel thingy back in a bag.

I’ve no idea if it’s worth owt yet, but it looks pretty.

Then down the deadly steps and out and across the road to the Age UK place…

Much of what took place over the next 2½ hours is a blur. The poor gal on the desk was the only contact I had, and she had to keep serving others as they came in.

Kept getting tongue tied, missed half of what was said and the angina played up.

I think they are offering a use of an advocate person to assist with the house moving but they cannot help with sorting out me mess. Confused and bewildered I left feeling a tad disappointed too.

 I wandered a little light headedly across to the other side of town to call at the Citizens Advice Centre.

It was closed

Hey Hoe!

So back the other way into town, avoiding a couple of the many Nottingham PAvement Cyclists en-route.

I went into the Central Library to confirm the location of the Salvation Army, then had a hobble to the Sneinton area and called and spoke with a chappie and told him my sorry tale and he listened intently to me woes – then said ‘No, we don’t help with rubbish, but we can collect owt of use for out charity shops if they are ready for collection at a specified time like!’ Similar words as wot I got from the Age UK folk.

Dejected I limped back to the bus-stop and caught one back to Carrington.

Called into the Co-op for some bread thins and on through the yobbo free twitchell back to the bomb-site. Fred and Fatima brought some of the family down with them for their nosh time treat.

I actually felt very drained – revealing all my failings to strangers, walking in the heat and the failure to get help had worn me out.

Made me nosh of cheesey mash potatoes, garden peas, and beetroot with bread thins with pork loin. If the days failures had not put me on such a low, I would have really enjoyed it… but it wont bad.

Laptop on and found an email from the GP surgery.

We have been contacted by Amanda Shaw at the warfarin Clinic at the Queens Medical Centre, they have been trying to contact you on your phone but have been unsuccessful.

Your INR result is 1.3 so they have advised that you will need to use your Enoxaparin medication and take 3 tablets for the next two days (today and tomorrow) and you will need a re-test this Friday 15th May.

Contact our surgery as soon as possible for us to arrange the appointment and acknowledge the receipt of this email.

Kind regards: Reception Team.

Well well, fancy that, summat else to worry about! Gerblowitandglunk!

I sent an email back pointing out that the Doc took me Enoxaparin medication off me prescriptions a couple of years ago? Asked for advice – but I’ll call in tomorrow to book me tests. Hey-ho sort of day – total failure – Gerblowitandglunk with bar!

Fell asleep after emailing Lynton for a bit.

Woke up feeling right odd, acidy in me mouth and chest?

Finished this Diary.

Did some graphics but Coreldraw9 kept crashing again.

Wide awake now? Feeling of foreboding again… Huh!

TTFN all.