Two women in Victorian clothes smoking pipes were shouting at me at a desk with an ink well and quill on it… – In a ditch full of fast moving water, trying to catch a plastic duck with a toasting fork? – Trying to climb into an Austin A40 car 1950’s model, but kept falling out onto a zebra crossing that smelt of soap powder, I had a Davey Crockett hat on… but why?
I prepared the creams in readiness for the bleeding from the rear end and checked while I was at it on me stocks of medications just in case the lousy weather continues like yer know worra mean?
The cough was persisting still this morning… afternoon and night! Tsketh!
WC’d and applied the creams, had a scrub-up and shave then did some Facebooking.
After a while I thought about going out and decided to have a little walk to Asda on Hyson Green for some bits, but I’d call in the launderette to see Big John on the way.
The sky might have looked nice and pretty but it were damnably cold as I turned towards the cut-through to Mansfield Road.!
As I arrived at the launderette Big John was coming out for a fag.
We had a natter and he asked if I wanted to get a lift with him to Asda. I said thanks I’ll meet him at Asda if that’s alright and scrounge a lift home with the heavy bags? No problem. I needed to keep the knees and ankles going to keep Arthur Itis at bay, so had a slow hobble to Asda.
Said cheerio see you later to Big John and having gone about twenty yards down the road the first Nottingham Pavement Cyclist of the day nearly got me.
I tooketh a photo of her but I don’t think was even aware that I was there at all.
Onward I plodded and when I reached the college fencing on Mansfield Road I could not help but admire the shoots coming through on the bushes and trees as they fought their way through the bars into the sunlight.
This despite their being cut back drastically by the council a few weeks ago – they were now ready for any pavement cyclist or inattentive walker with a fair chance of poking them in the eyes. Hehehe!
It’s not a good photo, but many of the buds were already through with some of them starting to open?
And here we are with -5c temperatures… amazing.
The sun kept coming out and in strongly – I think that might have been why the gentleman in BMW didn’t see me at the pedestrian crossing on Sherwood Rise, and was most likely not even aware that he’d nearly clobbered me? Huh!
Over the road and around the corner onto Gregory Boulevard and another cyclist nearly got me – to quick for me to get me camera out in time, so I took photograph of the Forest Recreation Ground while I had the camera out.
I’ve just noticed there are no travelling cars in this photograph and pleased with how it came out, anyone would think the place of idylic peaceful pleasant and a desirable place to live in – Mmmm?
I pressed to the end of the road and turned right towards the Asda outlet – where another cyclist did his best to get me. Gits!
I had a good slow amble around the store starting with the non-foods section to look at the shoes they were offering for sale – Crap is the description that came to mind.
I poddled up and down every aisle in the place – and the trolley was getting slowly filled with stuff I did not really need, more just sort of fancied. At least if the weather does o bad now I’ll survive a while without going out. Hehe!
A good 40 minutes later I was at the checkout. And boy had I spent? Yes… indeed I had: £51.86 that’s USD $78.74 – AUD $96.10 – CAD $95.10 – JPY ¥9319.64!
Big John loaded the three bags into the boot of his car for me and gave me a lift home.
As we came out of the car park I saw something I’ve never seen before in real life anyway only in DVDs and photographs like – an Aston Martin car.
Shame about it being on bricks and the wheels having been nicked – Nottingham eh! Huh!
As we drove down Gregory Boulevard i took a picture through the windscreen of Big John’s car.
Hardly anyone around I noticed odd that.
The area was about two hundred yards from the wheel-less Aston Martin car, and the school on the left was fire-bombed during the last riots.
Just thought I’d mention it like.
John dropped me off at home bless his cotton socks, thanked him and gave him a few nibbles to eat and off he went.
I got in and spent a good while encouraging things at the porcelain.
Then started to put away the stuff wot I’d bought – good heavens I thought why did I get all this? Bitter orange drinks, cooked beetroot, bleach, BBQ sauce, deodorant, cheese sauce, washing-up liquid, antiseptic disinfectant, cocktail sausages, min franks, microwaveable Ribs, Gotowana, yoghurt, nibbles for the nurses, bacon cobs, mousse, cheapo cakes, biscuits, Scott’s porridge oats just to mention some – and even a DVD Liam Neelson in ‘A walk among the Tombstones’! Well it was on offer.
I saw they had Nicolas Cage’s latest DVD ‘Left Behind’ – but David Saxon told me he fell asleep watching it, so I opted for Liam’s Tombstones instead like.
I had the last piece of me pork pie with some bread and started this diary.
Passed wind a few seconds ago – involuntary like wot we older folk do now and then… Phwoar blimey!!!
Had a shave and started the laptop. Did some Facebooking and posted to LOMM site.
Had a wash and brush up (they can’t touch me for it!) and assembled the laundry in two great bagfuls ready to take to the laundry.
Then got the bits ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity shop and the nibbles for the gals at the launderette and the nurses at the QMC. Hard work all this effort to try and be liked innit? Hehe!
When I carried the bags of laundry down the stairs One at a time mind I didn’t like the loud creaking noises emanating from the third and second runs from the bottom of the stairs. More to worry about… Tsk!
I got them out of the door and took a photo just in case I pass-out or kick me clogs carrying them, so the police can identify them when they get nicked! Haha!
It was even colder than I thought earlier as I plodded on down to the launderette.
The cut-through to Mansfield Road had no yobs lurking and drinking this time – but it was iced over and dangerous. I walked along the edges so I could drop the bags and grab the railings if I did a whoopsidangleplop.
As I got onto Mansfield Road and turned right towards the launderette I thought “It’s awfully quiet here today.” Then it dawned I hadn’t got me hearing-aids in. But I had the right glasses on so not all was gloom. Hehe!
Got in the launderette and had to use two machines to accommodate the washing – two weeks worth including many of the thick long sleeve warm t-shirts that I got from Primark and they would need extra drying time.
Mandy gave me a smile and look that said “Oh, the old idiot is back”.
We had a little natter and she changed some notes into coins for me (Not magically).
I got the machines going £6.80 it cost, and there would be £2.60 needed for the drier afterwards.
I told Mandy I was off to get me hearing-aids from the hovel.
As I walked up to the cut-through the traffic was building up on Mansfield Road.
Then I had a bit of cheering up granted me.
As I entered the passage a lad on a push-bike came tearing through from the other end and did a whoopsidangleplop off his bike on the ice.
I don’t think he noticed my wide grin and contented look when I asked him if he was alright though… he was. I suggested: “You keep to the road on your bike in future that’s been gritted. If your too scared to go on the road you shouldn’t really have a bike at all should you?”
The look he gave me encouraged me to move on.
Got me hearing-aids and returned to the launderette.
Those thick t-shirts I got are really warm and comfy but it took £2.80 in the drier before they were dry enough to take out. Tsk, hey-ho.
Said farewell to Mandy and struggled back with the bags to the flea-pit.
Put the Hospice stuff and nibbles in me bag and set off on a little walk into Sherwood. As I departed I realised I had to return quickly to the porcelain…
The rumbling innards were giving up and a solid achievement was passed – now me haemorrhoids are bleeding something rotten! Treble Tsk!.
Got myself cleaned up and creamed then set-off again.
As I was walking up Mansfield Road I thought how much brighter the sky was today – pound to a penny some snow will descend soon.
Not much traffic now.
Got to the Hospice shop and left the bag of stuff for them and came out and caught a bus into town.
I popped into Tesco and got some bread then as I passed the Greggs shop I espied they were selling bags of Mint Doughnuts at 6 for a quid – so I got one to add to the nurses nibbles at the Queens medical Centre haematology.
As I was going into the site I spotted in one of the giant plant pots that the flowers Whatever they were) were forcing their way through.
Always amazes me this every year… nature eh? Here we are minus whatever degrees and these beauties battling away…
The rumbling from me innards was far less now, but the involuntary escapages of wind from the rear end continue – embarrassing at times this.
Got in and got seen to after an hour or so wait. The nurses seemed to welcome me a bit more enthusiastically this week? – Then I realised they were gathering around me to get a pick of the goodies from the carrier bag. Hehe! I told them they had a bag of Mint doughnuts cause I thought how original they were when I saw them in the shop. One of then had a look at the label, put her head to one side, smiled understandingly and pointed out that it said Mini – not Mint Doughnuts! “That’s the first laugh we’ve had all day” another one said. Tsk, I felt such a fool… again!
Said me cheerios and as I was walking to the main road noticed a bike locked onto the railings.
The sign at the side of it read: ‘Please do not attach your bike to the railings. ‘Well that sign didn’t have a lot of effect eh?’
I caught the bus back to the City Centre and had a walk around and tool some photos of Bling for the TFZ facebook site girls.
The rings in this photograph are very old, 1960 and 1910?
Don’t know what the stones are, red rubies I suppose guessingly.
I thought the bottom one meant c7th October at first glance?
Pottered around a while then caught the bus back to Carrington. I know I keep saying this – but my pensioners free bus-pass is so appreciated! I don’t suppose David (Snot-bag) Cameron will read this would he?
Slipped a few seeds to the pigeons on me walk back to the flea-pit.
I was just thinking I’d seen no Nottingham Street Art to report today – and there it was. Worthy of any Contemporary Art gallery I thought.
The exquisite spacing between the works of art, and how cleverly the artist has chosen to place them on different levels and resisted using house bricks and black bags… Hehehe!
Got in and did not need the WC! Hurrah!. Mind you I had to clean up the leaking rear-end again. Tsk!
Made some microwave sausage sarnies and a cuppa.
Started laptop and updated this ‘ere diary like.
Well now it seems the innards movements are going in the other direction so to speak – solid and stubbornly not wanting to evacuate! Tsk!.
How I wish I could remember the dreams I’d had during the night – reckon I must have had many because each time (And there were plenty of them) I got up or woke up I seemed to recall a different dream and swore to myself I’d remember each one to record here.
Now no memories remain. I must force myself to write them down on me notepad at the time in future – mind you…
Stirred and got up an WC’d then made a cuppa. Started laptop and did some graphicationalisationing.
Blooming cold this morning -5c… Brrr!
Vehicles outside were well frosted.
The coughing and rumbling and a-grumbling from the innards is still rampant I’m afraid – oh dear…
Finished and posted yesterdays Diary then did some Facebooking and made a humerous graphic and posted it to Facebook.
I’ve got a double load (two weeks) laundry to do tomorrow and me INR (Warfarin) level tests too.
Just hope things settle sooner rather than later.
I’m occupying the bathroom today and going nowhere. No desire for food really either at the moment… well I did manage a Lion bar earlier in between painful and unpleasant responses to the calls to the porcelain from me innards. Tsk!
I tried to read me book afterwards, but no concentration at all.
Oh dear… woke up several times during the night with the rumbling innards and rear passage giving me bother. Huh!
Jill from Troll Free Zone – A Pearl!A funny wot I dun and captioned: “Someone really ought to wake him up know!”
Arose (yet again) to visit the porcelain around 0315hrs and decided to give up and started the laptop to finish and post yesterday’s Dairy and begin this one.
The dreams I’d had couldn’t be recalled at all this morning but know I’d had them and they were frustrating in nature.
WC.
The innards are rumbling and bubbling still – took some bi-carb with me usual medications. Still, the arthritis and angina are not being too awkward anyway… yet. Hehe! What I’m laughing at I’m not sure?
Did some graphicalistioning on Coreldraw while it let me.
Many visits to the porcelain today, the innards are churning and a tad uncomfortable, two really close shaves up to now – not sure whether to risk going out or not yet… might just have a wander around locally if the yobs ain’t around. Or not?
Carried on with me graphicalisationing, dun some funny ones for Facebook Troll Free Zone gals and lad’s in mind.
Sandra – Packers fan?
Oh dear… just got back from another urgently needing attention message wot I got from me rumbling grumbling stabbing innards – no faux-pars though.
Still not sure if I should risk a poddle out?
I can hear emergency vehicle klaxons nearby – but I’m not going out to have a nosey this time.
At least the BT internet seems to be going alright, although I may regret saying that now that I’ve said that?
Bloomin’ ‘eck, another visit to the bog! Not good this.
Had an email from Nottingham City Council warning me of bad weather coming.
The cough now returned and stayed with me all day – Tsk!
After an hour or so the burbling and gurgling seemed to be settling, so I decided a walk into town might be okay. (What a plonker!)
Got a wash up and set off on me walk.
The traffic at the lights on Hucknall Road was at a standstill.
Horns a peeping and hooting as they jockeyed for position.
It freed up a lot further on near the traffic island and I took a photo because the sky looked very clear compared with the last few days.
I suppose it’s the wintry weather on its way that I was warned about?
A little bit further up the road, I espied my first piece of Nottingham Street Art on the pavement yet again. I wondered if it was the same culprit as the other day as it was spotted roughly in the same area as was that dog poo?
I pressed on over the hill on Mansfield Road and down the other side towards the City Centre.
A block of six retail outlets on the other side of the road near the Huntingdon Street junction traffic lights I saw had only one business open, the other had closed down.
It was an Art Gallery outlet.
Of all the things I thought.
There has been take-away food, Book shops, Butchers, Estate Agents, Hair dressers, Adult entertainment suppliers and Ladies nail shop but all have failed and gone broke or got out quickly in that row of shops over the last year or so. How can an Art Gallery expect to make it pay?
A few hundred yards further down the road the first pavement cyclist came passed me. Again I only just caught him with me camera.
Then I turned to continue on me walk and nearly tripped and did a ‘Whoopsidangleplop’ over one of the uneven pavement slabs.
Undaunted, after using a few well chosen descriptive words I limped into the Victoria bus station and through into the Victoria Shopping Centre (Mall).
A gurgling from within and severe involuntary passing of wind encouraged me to get to the public toilets ASAP!
Phew… made it in time.
I came out and looked for some ‘Bing’ ‘Pearls’ and ladies fashion items, anything that might interest the girls from Canada, America and Australia on Facebook to take photographs of.
I got six that might interest them. The one of the fish here I put in the diary because I couldn’t believe the prices of the 2.5″ glass fish on sale. £60 (AUD $110.44 – USD $90.86 – CAD $ 108.92) each! Mind you they were probably not glass, something else more expensive?
I poddled down the ground floor and popped into Tesco Metro and got some Cox’s apples, Cooked crispy bacon and bread.
When I departed onto Milton Street, between the Poundland and Waitrose shops I espied another piece of Nottingham Street Art.
It doesn’t show very well in the photo, but it was semi-liquid and smelled of curry to me.
Not bad for early afternoon.
I took some photo’s of a jewellery shop window for the girls and went down to the bus-stop and caught one back to the flea-pit.
I sneaked some seed to the pigeons and tool a photo of em.
Walked home and rushed to the WC.
The top of the tap on the sink has split open.
No idea how to mend it. Tsk!
Put me bits away and depression overcame me.
Later I started this diary after having to restart the laptop to get Coreldraw to work.
Coughing painfully well as I pass wind, I did some graphics.
Tonight I plan to have me microwaveable Potato Gratin, bacon and some bread. Or bearing mind me innards… should I?
I did, and it wer lovely.
Paid the price with the usual painful getting up and down to tend to the calls to the porcelain throughout the night. Tsk!
Set about making notes of the last dreams I’d had that I could remember and from the scribbled notes on me pad that I must have made during the night?
Bits of last night’s dreams I can recall:
1)
Running about on gangways high above and hanging in the air over fields of coffins growing with people, thousands of people, running between the neat rows of coffins to find their own and standing next to them with arms outstretched and singing Frankie Vaughan’s ‘Don’t Stop Twist’… while a giant Stalin, pipe in mouth picked the people who had found their coffin up with a giant hooked-toothpick and ate them, then squashed that persons coffin and sprinkled the crushed remains of the coffin into his pipe… somewhere in the background was G W Bush laughing and clapping and giving Stalin some money and a medal each time a coffin was crushed?
2)
I was falling down through the sky towards a river… Some people were in rowing boats and lifeboats with little fishing nets on bamboo canes to apparently catch me in their net and from somewhere anti-aircraft flak was bursting all around me. The bullets/shells seemed to turn into Polo peppermints and I wanted spearmints and was upset about this… never seemed to land anywhere?
3)
I think I was being interviewed for something in a gigantic room with only the interviewer wearing a bowler hat and a pink jump suit, me, a desk and two chairs in the room and nothing else. All brilliant white walls, I could see out of the only window that the world was aflame – no idea who the interviewer was or why I was being interviewed…
Got the laptop on and started this diary.
Did some graphics and posts for Facebook.
WC. Took my medications with a drink of spring water, and made sure I was up in time for the Iceland delivery chappie twit 0900 > 1100hrs.
Took some bags out to the bins and moved them along with me neighbours to the side of the road for collection.
Sorted the long-life nibbles that I like giving to the hospice, haematology, GP and Chemist staff, all in date and okay now. Put some of ’em in a bag and added it to the bits for donating this morning.
Came across an old squeaky toy that I haven’t seen for years in the falling to bit writing bureau – anyone remember it? Or should I say her?
I’ve not been in there for years, she looks all grimy and dirty now – No don’t say it! Hehehe!
The bandage at the back had a sell-by-date of Nov 2006!
The Pan Book of Crosswords almost crumbled when I opened it.
After searching for where I’d left me newly bought yesterday super-warm Andy Cap that actually fitted me, I Got me things together and poddled out to walk to the Nottingham Hospice shop.
As I was on Mansfield Road I noticed the Ukrainian Cultural Centre had put up new security cameras and added the European flag to the Ukrainian one outside. Tried to photo the billboard but the sun was too strong on that side of the building.
They’ve done a nice job of doing the curtains in their flag colours.
As I walked away on up the road, the sun disappeared and it became gloomy, then five minutes along the road and it came out again?
A bit like it was yesterday, but without the rain I’m glad to say… well we did get a bit.
Then the first cyclist on the pavement of the day shot passed me and sped off.
I only just caught him in the photo before he turned right off the road – and I was using my old camera which is simpler and quicker to use. If I’d been using the new one I would not have had time to catch him at all.
When I got into Sherwood another git on a bike on the pavement drove at me! No chance to photograph the twerp – off he sped as well. Tsk!
Got to the Hospice shop and gave em me stuff with a few nibbles for them.
Came out and went over the pelican-crossing and down to the bus-stop to catch a bus to Arnold, where I hoped I might find Fultons Food shop had some of me favourite blackcurrant iced-lollies in stock. (They didn’t) Where a lady waiting in the queue informed me that my newly bought yesterday super-warm Andy Cap that actually fitted me had a label and price tag hanging from the back of it!
I did feel a fool, but couldn’t help laughing and telling her about Primark selling them at only £3. (Not that I needed to tell her, the £3 price ticker was huge!)
Ah-well…
So I had a walk around for a bit then caught a bus back into Nottingham City Centre.
As we drove through Sherwood I noticed the two regular every-day mobility scooters parked outside the Samuel Hall boozer.
One day they will have an accident coming out of there tipsy like I’m sure!
Dropped off the bus at Victoria shopping centre and crossed over to catch a Bulwell bus, again in hopes that I might find Fultons Food shop in Bulwell Market had some of me favourite blackcurrant iced-lollies in stock. (They didn’t either)
The old Victoria Train Station clock nice and regal in the sunshine and I took a photograph of it from the bus.
The passengers were of the shouting variety and one woman who was sat in the ‘Less-mobile-passengers seat was sat on the seat in the aisle side as opposed to the window seat and despite the bus being full with 5 passengers 3 of them elderly having to stand she would not move – totally ignoring their plight! On her mobile for the whole of her trip. Bitch!.
I hate that! I got quiet provoked and bothered. But it was as if we didn’t exist when we spoke to her? Drugs?
When I arrived in Bulwell I mad straight to the Fultons Food store, but as I’ve already said and just remembered saying so said it again, they had no lollies for me! Sob!
I took a good walk around the Bulwell Market that seemed better attended today than of late on my visits.
A stall immediately outside the Fultons store had some really cheapo ladies clothes at £5 a bash! ( $1.52 – AUD $1.84 – CAD $1.81) But not many of the locals were showing any interest – mind you there was a keerfuffle going on at Icelands store with the police removing with difficulty what I assumed was two shoplifters.
I had a walk in the Bulwell Market proper and the first stall I came to was selling what looked like specialist toys? Some old, all different especially the ‘Naughty’ dolls that I do not think ought to have been on sale for kids – mind you who his target demographic was I don’t know – but he didn’t like me taking the photograph I can tell yer!
There were no prices on any of the items on this stall?
I noticed there were a few mobility scooters lurking around again. One chap who had secreted himself behind the mobile doughnut van was having a crafty can of ale with his mate – but I saw him.
How, if you can’t drink and drive a road vehicle with too much alcohol in your bloodstream – is there no law about mobility scooter drivers drinking to excess?
And they do not have to have insurance by law – and they do not have to prove their ability by taking any tests at all before driving, not pavement tax either for them… Shut-up Inchcock! Okay.
One driver parked outside the Pound Shop while was watching and nipped into the shop at a rate of knots I wish I had the ability to copy.
As I turned to move back to the market for a final photograph how the cyclist on the pavement didn’t hit me I still can’t work out. Only just got the git in the photo I hurriedly took of the nasty unthinking selfish ignorant… of dear I’m getting all het-up again.
There is a stall on the market selling crap jewellery that now advertises ‘Cash for you Gold’, as if we don’t have enough shops doing that nowadays Tsk!.
I wandered down near the river Leen, but again the mallard ducks were absent?
Still the pigeons enjoyed their seeds.
I hobbled to the bus-station and caught one back to Carrington, I do love me free pensioners bus-pass yer know!
En-route the police were blues and twoing it towards the massive Tesco store. I thought I’d get a shot of them, but no they were long gone by the time I’d got me camera out and ready, so I just took a random shot form the bus window – then apologised for making the lady in front jump was the flash went off…
I must say the angina and Arthur Itis have behaved reasonably today up til now. Only the rumbling innards and cough bothering me at the moment. Well, the haemorrhoids too I suppose. but not complaining.
I noticed how the trees were bare as I passed them, but nature wins in the end, soon they will be spouting leaves and seeds to drop off and allow me to slip on them in the rain… only joking!
I noted that the cafe near the bus stop were advertising a Sausage Cob and a cup of tea or coffee for only £4.99.
£4.99! ($7.56) Blimey a bit steep that innit?
As I got off the bus in Carrington the sky suddenly brightened to the North so I took a photograph.
By the time I’d walked the few hundred yards to the end of my street – the gloom had returned. Tsk!
I got in attended the WC.
Had a gargle with TCP – gawd the smell of that annoys some people dunnit – hehehe!
Laptop on and a cuppa made. Of course the BT Internet was playing up – but I fooled into letting me get on the web.
I realised as I got ready to settle before eating and abluting I’d put on me old slippers that were too tight. The pain was the firs thing I noticed.
Then as I looked down I also realised both the slippers (I must take them to the charity shop ASAP) and the jammy bottoms were tartan.
Just thought I’d mention this – no idea why mind…
Notice the length of the trews? And that was with the top waistband pulled up to about 2 inches bellow me nipples!
Up around 0235hrs in urgent need of painkillers and the WC.
Tended to both, then I set about thinking about the possibility and practicability of giving thought to the eventual workability of giving consideration to the probability of actually getting up and the hazards and attainableness along with the plausibility and validity along with the health risks of moving within the next hour…
Bits of the dreams were milling about in my phyche but by the time I’d started the laptop to record them here, they had drifted into the ether again.
I got up after 4 hours on the laptop facebook blog and bog.
Took medications and repeatedly passed wind to the point that I think I changed colour?
Did graphic for Lynton Cox as it’s his birthday – he tells me he is 24 now?
Got missen washed and brushed up and got the things ready for a walk into town – but changed me mind as soon as I opened the door and the wind blew the rain in!
I put a scarf on and me shoes that did not leak and poddled to the bus-stop in the rain and caught one into town.
Dropped off at Victoria Centre and walked along Milton Street.
Looking a bit murky I thought.
That was until a few minutes later when I got to the end of the road and the darkness loomed.
Then a bit of sunshine came through and it stayed like that spot of sun in the gloom then overcast and down came the rain all day!
I walked over to Clinton Street and made my way to Primark where I hoped to get a couple of the thermal shirts and a hat from. My current hat is coming unstitched. Tsk!
I managed to just avoid a twat in a mobility scooter running me over as I turned the corner. One of those that the council hire out for free.
I went into Primark and took a photo from near the rear-entrance where I entered the shop from because it is higher and the ladies section was below.
I made my way down and got the escalator up to the gents clothing department.
Had a good roam around and managed to get the last three shirts in stock!
I had look at their shoes but was not impressed, and while doing so remembered my slippers are falling to pieces at home so took a gander at their selection. They were all the slip-on type so I decided to go look at what the Shoe Zone store had to offer.
On my way out I took some photo’s of what the TFZ gals call ‘Bling’ – jewellery to post on Facebook! Nobody seemed to take any notice of my photographicalisationing today.
Out into the weather and walked along Bridlesmith Gate in the shoe shops direction.
As I passed the American Apparel store the sky suddenly lit up as the sun was allowed through – for a short while anyway.
Mind you, by the time I’d reached the end of Bridlesmith Gate the darkness had descended again as I turned right down to Chapel Bar.
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for a Big Issue seller at the bottom of Regent Street, wet and cold he was doing his best to sound cheerful bless him, so I slipped him a couple of quid and a bit of loose change.
Then turned right and down to the Shoe Zone shop. They have such a wide range of interesting and young style shoes for gents I always go there for my shoes… ooh er… Alright then… their cheap!
I had a wander around and sneaked some more photographs of ladies boots and children’s footwear for the TFZ gals. Again, nobody seemed to notice me?
I found some men’s slippers with Velcro fasteners on offer at £6 ($9.11) a pair 0r Two pairs for £8 ($12.14)(AUD$11.05)! So I grabbed two pairs and went to pay for them.
As I got outside I realised I’d been charged £12 ($18.22)! So I went to wet bench although the rain had stopped and checked out the slippers, the only difference was the colour – one blue and one brown pair?
I returned to the store and the chap said that only one pair of the slippers was on the offer with the pink tag?
I inquired why that was… nicely like. He shrugged and informed me he didn’t make decisions like that.
A tad dejected I made my way to the Slab Square, where I noticed they had cleared all the stalls and ice-rink etc completely now.
I took my midday medications a little late like but still.
The sky had brightened up a bit, but the clouds were perceivably moving at a good rate of knots.
By the time I’d reached the top of King Street the darkness had returned.
I visited the jewellery store where the moving polar bear display was last week but they had gone – bought possibly?
In Trinity Square I spotted my first bit of Nottingham Street Art of the day.
Can you make out what food is (or was) from this photograph?
Doesn’t say a lot for Nottingham food outlets when even the pigeons wont go near it!
I caught the bus back to Carrington and called in the Co-op shop to get some cobs.
Back to the flea-pit WC’d and read the mail that had been delivered. One from the bank, one from the dentist and one from the hospital.
Put me things away and got the laptop going… slowly, but going.
Sister Jane email received. Told me she was not feeling too well and decided to go to bed and have a cuppa and a good read of the paper.
She sent me a photo of why she did not!. Hehe
Took me medications with me meal – Last of the pork loin in me cobs and some fries.
No memories of me dreams although I can feel them in a way – if that makes sense?
I was taking the card out of the camera and whallop the light bulb blew and died – I thought I might have croaked as well at first and I accidentally took a photo.
My first task was to replace that. Got the spare bulb then step-ladder and painfully mounted them and managed to changed the bulb without to much kerfuffle… pain yes.
The new style bulb is not very strong, must get a stronger one when I’m out later today in Derby.
Made a cuppa and got the laptop started.
Worked on graphics for later and did some facebooking again.
WC (Another close call).
Thought about the things I’ve to do today: Get light bulbs, call to see about camera, get me hearing-aid batteries, take me library book back, go to Derby to feed the mallards… there’s summat else I’m sure about… oh yes, collect me prescription from the GP… still summat else though…
WC.
Titivated missen and set out on my walk to the doctors GP surgery, took some nibbles for the GP reception gals and the chemist gals but… whatta-shocka. I didn’t realise just how severe the frost had been last night. Many area that had not had the sun reach them were treacherous to walk on.
I nearly did a ‘Whoopsidangleflop’ at the first corner.
Arrived okay with care and got my prescription from the gals and set off for the Chemists to get it filled, it was only some extra Phorpain gel and Codeine Phosphate 30g. But I was so glad to get them in now in case the weather does another nasty. The girls appreciated their nibbles. (I could have worded that better?)
I left and crossed the road to walk down to the Chemist and as I was passing the large Peugeot dealership every single car on show, and there must be at least 200 of them was well and truly frosted over… a job there for someone I thought. (Secretly trying to contain the smug thought that it wouldn’t be me nowadays… Hehehe!)
I got to the Chemist and they soon sorted me out with medications and accepted with glee the nibbles I gave them in thanks. (That’s better wording?)
I did notice some shaving foam and gels in the tiniest aerosols I’ve ever seen on a display in the chemists.
On closer inspection while I waiting for me prescription to be filled I found that the asking price for these miniature aerosols from France was £3.95 ($6.03) A tad high I thought!
Off out and up along Mansfield Road to the City Centre.
On nearing the Cemetery, the same spot where I’ve noticed many pieces of Nottingham Street Art over the last couple of weeks including drunks regurgitated curries, the vandalised electricity box and the decoratively placed empty beer and wine bottles and – blow me down with a feather duster – there was another!
This time it was of the Nottingham Canine owners variety. Prettily arranged along the pavement and no paw marks on the frost either. But it was still freshly steaming!
I plodded on to the bus station completely forgetting to call into the hardware store for me bulbs. Tsk!
Never mind said I to myself – I’ll get them in Derby.
Got to the bus station and was on a bus to Derby and travelling within a couple of minutes – although the Red Arrow service uses motorway buses that annoy Arthur Itis, as you have to climb several steep steps to mount the bus. An elderly couple in front of me struggled too and I made a funny, something about “They don’t think about us old un’s struggling do they?” with a cheery smile – The look of contempt accompanied by an obviously well practised sneer worthy of HRH herself that I received back ensured I said no more to them during the 38 minute journey.
I made sure no contact was made with the Grumpies as I alighted from the bus in Derby.
I went straight to the riverside and fed the pigeons. Again for some reason the Mallards were absent? Hundreds of seagulls, a few Canada geese and few hundred pigeons – but no mallards?
I assume the white snail-like object in the photo was a white pigeon or seagull landing? It looks like it has the same colour feet as the other pigeons. Perhaps an alien slug landing? Any ideas please? I didn’t notice it when I took the picture.
Then as I started to walk to the Eagle Centre to see if they had any cooked pork – the heavens opened.
In the market there were even more stalls empty today. So sad.
I remembered to call at one and get me bulb replacement. The chap sold me some that were the equivalent to the old 150 watt bulbs. (He says) £3.75 ($5.71) each. The last bulb I bought cost 50p (76c)! It was a while ago mind.
I plodded up to the butcher that sells the cooked joints and a nice looking piece of pork for £3.
On the way back through the market to the bus station I had look at some caps on a stall, but none of them were priced – so I moved on.
I espied some crossword books on sale at 2 for £1.50 – had a peruse and found they were my sort (Not too hard at all) so bought a couple.
Again as soon as I got on the bus it was off. I settled in and had a look at the first crossword in me book and spent half an hour on it – only got about a third of the the answers. Huh! I’ll keep it in me bag so it’s handy on bus trips. Mind you I still lost me last one somehow.
As we neared Wollaton on the bus I took a photo of some shops near the traffic island.
The ones on the left and right were closed down. Not many vehicles in the car park, another sad photo for the records.
When I got into town it wor a bit of a job and painful getting down the steps of the bus.
I must remember to go the the other bus station at Broad Marsh bus station next time – it’s a fair further walk to get to it and the bus takes over twice as long as the Red Arrow to get to Derby because it takes the scenic route through the villages – but as long as I’m not in a rush I’ll catch that next time to please Arthur Itis.
Caught a bus back to Carrington and went in the co-op to get the bread I forgot to get earlier.
Some apprentice yobs were again lurking drinking and sat on the bench in the cut-through, so I took the longer route passed St Johns Churchyard.
And again, there were no persons letting their dogs crap in the graveyard again! Good that! Because it is a lovely place and looked after well.
Got in the flea-pit, WC’d, made a flask of tea and started the laptop – many of the keys seem to be sticking?
Well, I got the light bulbs, got me prescription from the GP, filled it at the chemists, forgot about the camera, forgot about me hearing-aid batteries, forgot to take me library book back, went to feed the mallards but they weren’t there… how did I know this? When I emptied me bag I found the reminder list I’d made but forgot I’d taken with me… Tsk!
Had big nosh of sliced pork loin instant potatoes with cheese and bread thins.
Tried to read me book but kept nodding off despite enjoying the book so gave up and snuggled down.
Did my best to recall the dreams but nothing there?
Started laptop to get some work done on the third Zimmer Frame Squeaks post.
I got carried away with it I’m afraid, doing the graphics took ages, but I was into it and enjoying it – so much I forgot I was to go to the launderette today. Huh!
Here’s some of the graphics wot I dun and put in the post.
Zimmer Frame’s Inchcock – The End!
Well gone lunchtime when I realised about the laundry.
But I got the post done and posted.
Had a scrub-up and got the things ready to take to the Nottingham Hospice shop in Sherwood.
As I opened the door I was met with rain mixed with snow a-falling. I considered abandoning my little walk, but I needed bread and more importantly the goods had to get to the charity shop so I plodded on… as far as the end of the road when it dawned on me as the rain leaked in, that I had put me slippers back on and not me shoes!
Sad? Yes!
Back to the hovel put me shoes on and set out again.
I checked the time on me mobile and saw a missed call – it was from Big John me mate, so I called him and as he lives in Sherwood he said he’s see me at the Post Office in ten minutes.
We met at the pedestrian crossing near the Post Office and had a natter and I asked him if he could take a photo of me wearing me new glasses. He suggested I call at his house when I’d done at the Hospice shop.
The arthritis was bad this morning, but the angina a lot easier thankfully.
I called in the Polish shop to get some bread, then on up to the Nottingham Hospice shop, then over the road to the Holland & Barrett shop to get some Cod-liver oil and Vitmin B complex tablets. Plenty in stock now, just in case the promised storms do come.
The rain lessened and the wind dropped? Worrying that.
I called at Big Johns and he took a photo of me new glasses – cutting me head off nicely.
Another little natter, but I had to refuse his offer of a cuppa and sit-down due to Arthur Itis and me bladder. Hehe!
I noticed the clock had been repaired at the Fat Cat noshery and pub over the road.
I’ve never seen anyone going in there other than staff. The black car belongs to the owner Abdul.
I limped home slower than ever but arrived just before the rain got nasty.
WC’d and made a flask of tea to last me the night.
Made some sandwiches and started the laptop… and I can understand this being hard to believe – but the BT Internet Connection failed.
Gnash spurgle-clang damn!
Read me book for a while then tried again and it was back.
The founder and lead non-singer of the Original Zimmer Frame Squeaks, retired Gas Lamp Wick Trimmer Juan Inchcock (79) is now the last remaining member of the group alive, and his manager Marissa Bergen had placed him in the Sewer Lane Charity Hospice in Nottingham.
She called to see him last week and spoke with him. The conversation went like this:
Marissa: “Now then, you must sign this contract to ensure that all the proceeds from the Zimmer Fame Squeaks is distributed fairly in the event of your conking out… you understand that don’t you?”
Juan: Gasping for breath caused his head to go up and down but no reply, just a pained and confused look as he shook uncontrollably.
Marissa: “Good… now your agent Shirley and I have discussed what’s best for you in the long term. All we have done is allotted 90% of your none negotiable income to the Bergen-Blamey Fund for attractive womens support of Human Rights for the Outer Mongolian Pregnant Kangaroo Appreciation Society. You need have no worries about this as I am the treasurer and Shirl is the President so rest at ease on that score…” “Your not moving Juan? Tsk! I’ll call for a nurse then shall I?” – At this point she spoke with herself while deciding Um, if he drops off before he signs that contract that means me and Shirl are gonna lose out? Better call the nurse then… ‘Nurse!'”
While they rushed Juan of to be revived again, Shirl arrived under the guise of wanting an interview with Juan about the Zimmer Frame Squeaks.
Marissa greeted her with affection and they went to the bar across the road to discuss tactics.
First Shirl updated her on the Zimmer sitution?
Shirl: “Bad news, the other members of the group back at the residential home have died I’m fraid…”
Marissa: “Oh fluctuations!”
Shirl: “I know gal… any-road, did yer get the fart to sign the contract?”
Marissa: “No, the insanitary twerp had another funny turn and stopped breathing…”
Shirl: “Oh No! Worrabarght the money, how are…”
Marissa: “Fret not Shirl, they’re patching him up again as we speak – but what do we do now? He ain’t gonna get any better now at his age is he? How do we sort it?
Shirl: “I’ve been giving that some thought too – I’ve noticed that doctor the one with the hair… erm…”
Marissa: “Dr Steeden?”
Shirl: “That’s him… well he keeps giving the come-on glances…”
Marissa: “Can you sell them, what are they worth…”
Shirl: “No Marissa, glances? Looks?”
Marissa: “Oh them… go on then!”
Shirl: “We I reckon I could get him on out side with a bit of loose naughty suggestive comments and half promises…”
Marissa: “Oh you are good!”
Shirl: “Thanks gal.”
Marissa: “Go on…”
Shirl: Well… he should know how to top someone without causing suspicion like? Yes?”
Marissa: “Yea… let’s get another drink and make plans!”
Shirl: “Fair enough!”
Shirl ordered two absinthe and barley wines and they withdrew to corner seats and plotted their plans to convert the young Doctor to their side.
The plan was:
Part One: Get Shirl to get Juan to sign his will in her favour – shouldn’t be too difficult, show him an ankle and he palpitates.
Part Two: Then ask him the best way to nobble Jaun and make it look normal like.
Part Three: When it’s done and over with, we threaten to reveal what the Doctor has done and keep all of Juan’s dosh for themselves!
“Perfick!” said Shirley.
Later that afternoon Shirl returned to Marissa with the advice she had gotten out of Dr Steeden. “It transpires that Juan is absolutely besotted with ladies in pink dresses, old style like?”
Part Two of their plan completed!
“No problem at all, I’ve a cousin in the rag-trade who hires old togs out, I’ll go now, you go see Juan and get him to sign the will in your favour and I’ll meet you on Stag and Unpleasant at seven!”
Shirley went over to the hospice to find that Juan had recovered and was in his room again. she visited him and gave him a bit of verbal buttering up about how good looking and desirable he was and if she gave him his nightly injection and peck on the cheek (which cheek, Juan got excited) would he leave everything to her in his will?
The will was done and signed in ten minutes!
Part One of their plan successfully completed!
The girls met later and discussed the situation.
Marissa: “Well I’ve got the dress ready… how did you go on with Juan Shirl?”
Shirl: “It was horrendous what I had to do…”
Marissa: “Urgh! You didn’t?”
Shirl: “No no no… I had to stick in the backside with a hypodermic needle and give him a peck on his cheek!”
Marissa: “Argh… you actually…”
Shirl: “No you nit, the cheek on his face!
Marissa: “That’s bad enough… anyway, well done sis.
Shirl: “Had to be done Marissa. Now how are you going to get him to have his heart attack then?”
Marissa: “I’m gonna go over there in the morning while he’s ‘avin breakfast, sneak up on him wearing the old fashions sexy dress!”
Shirl: “Gawd I hope it works?”
Marissa: “We’ll see gal.”
Shirely waited impatiently for Marissa to return, tearing up the beer mats and chewing on them.
Marissa was back in twenty minutes: “Sod-it, he’s still kicking it didn’t work, he just got randy!”
Shirl: “How did you manage?”
Marissa: “Dragged him out of the bed and gave him a kicking – but some interfering nurse arrived and I pretended he’d fell out of the bed and she thumped him one and threw him back on the bed.”
Shirl: “What did he say?”
Marissa: “Well you know his short term memory – he just went on about England winning the World Cup in 1966?”
Shirl: “What do we do now then?
Marissa: “I don’t know…”
Shirl: “I do Marissa, I’ll put me sunglasses on so he doesn’t recognise me, take a gun in with me pretend to be checking on him and shoot him dead, then put the gun in his hand and cry proliferously and wail on about him taking his own life? Good idea?”
Marissa: “No, but it’s all we’ve got innit?”
Shirl: “Leave it with me, I’ll nip down and see Danny ‘the geezer’ Soz and get us a pistol and machine gun!”
Marissa: “Why two guns Shirl?”
Shirl: “He’s got an offer on at the moment two for the price of one…”
Marissa: “Oh good idea!”
The following morning Shirley arrived to visit Juan, and she had on her glasses and a stethoscope round her neck – the cunning disguise fooled Juan completely.
But Juan then noticed the pistol tucked into her skirt top and he said: “Oh, why are you carrying a pistol in the top of your beautifully filled skirt Shirl?”
Cobblers she thought – then the Dr Steeden bloke came in and she lost concentration and gave up, leaving a confused Juan to take his medications.
Shirl and Marissa met again for another confabulation.
Shirl: “Sorry, I couldn’t do it… he sounded almost human the way he complimented me on how I filled my skirt..”
Marissa: “You soft twit! Gawd, I’ll do it missen next time, in fact I’ll go and do it now!”
Shirl: “Be best if we both go this time, give each other encouragement?”
Marissa: “Fair enough!”
They were both a little excited and set off to the hospice once again to finally nail the old codger for good.
Unfortunately they both forgot to take the weapons with them. Probably a good thing because Juan was asleep and looked so tender and gentle.
Undaunted the girls made sure they took the guns with then on their next assassination attempt. Shirley even put on the pink dress as well.
Juan woke as they got to his bedside and saw the gun – he begged for mercy and asked them to kill him!
This was not what was supposed to happen and the girls were confused.
Juan then started singing “♫Goodbyee, goodbyee I wish you both a good goodbyee…♫
They left the room feeling fully shamed of themselves they changed back into their street clothes and started to walk silently out of the hospice… when an alarm sounded and a red light on the wall flashed and medics ran passed them and into Juan’s room.
Moments later two paramedics carried the dead body of Juan out of the room and to the morgue.
Juan had electrocuted himself with his shaver and hit his head on the sink when he fell off the box he stood on to reach the mirror.
The girls jumped for joy and began singing: ♫Goodbyee, goodbyee we wish Juan a good goodbyee…♫
