NHS Falls and Rehab Team Assessment

Inchie: Monday 13th April 2026

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3:15hrs: I woke very reluctantly indeed, to be greeted by Mind-Mangling-Malcolm, Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley and Rib-Pains-Rupert were in angery moods.. As I was taking off the night Catheter, Grip-Loss-Gloria ensured I dropped the nocturnal pouch, and Dizzy Dennis nearly had me topple over as I retrieved the pouch. Made a dismal effort to straighten the bedclothes.
Off to the Porcelain Throne, Trotsky Terence fashion, sorted the bins and got the Health Checks done. With some poor results again, see the photo above. I searched for the Four-Pronged-Percy. Failed to, but I’ll find him later, of course, I may have left him in the kitchenette with the Wooden-Willy-Walking-Stick.
Got the computer on to record the HC results.
Google loaded second time, then had a right farcical eight attempts to get CorelDraw to load. I then ended it, which was loaded with missing pages, and it gave me a warning that my device’s memory was 96.5% full. You cannot save any changes made to this graphic. Try saving it with another name. ‘Save As’ in a different name. Remember to delete what you can to ensure there will be sufficient room to save. That cost me over an hour to sort out, and I think I may have deleted some unintended files. Cumudgeon-Mode-Adopted! Third visit, same mode, to the Porcelain Throne.
And found Wooden-Willy-Walking-Stick.

07:15hrs: The Carer arrived.
Jenny, my Angel, sent an email, and I responded. Hubby Frank is coming up to see me later. A nicer, kind pair of people and I could not ask for better. Always willing to help out, despite Jenny’s own problems. 🤎

In the morning, lateenalenal morning on Tuesday, (Another bad night & morning involving nurses visiting me and lots of hours of excruciating pain), I found this photographicalisation on the SD card. It took me a while to see what it was of, the reminder notepad on the desk, I think. Then I launched into ‘Wandering-Mind-Mode’ for a few hours. Concentration Konrad had me starting jobs, and at the first interruption to my thoughts, I found myself in another room doing something unrelated. I kept doing this so often today. But many tasks were never returned to, and that ‘Haze’ was in charge too often, too.

Rashid made his next call. I was pleased with his increased attention, and to me. Not a bad lad, and seems to be improving each call. He checked and loosened the Catheter straps and medicated the leg scars. After he’s gone, the bag fell down when the straps broke. After another Porcelain Throne visit (Trotsky Terence mode), I went to empty the Catheter bag… and there was nowt in it? I wasn’t too worried, with all the fuss and bother today, I hadn’t drunk so much water. So I got a few bottles out and started to gulp it down. After three litres had been swallowed, as I checked the pouch, I felt the bad backflow pains start. The pains were terrible and persistent. I decided to call the Community Nurses to ask for advice and help if needed. The AI robot kept repeating, ‘We are very busy. If you are calling in an emergency, please dial 111 for advice.’ After half an hour, another AI voice, female this time, said, “You are number 18 in the queue. I was walking around to take my mind off of the pain, and the door chime chimed. I had progressed to being 9th in the queue and went to the door.
It was the Falls Team, lady. As I was saying about the lack of urine flow, it started flowing again out of the blue. All good. Slowly, the pain eased, and the flow continued while the Fall’s Team lady was here. We did some Q&A’s. Kindly adjusted the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, eyesore-horrendously grungy, disease-fermenting second-hand, beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, Catheter tube yanking, recliner, for me. Thank you. Looks better now. Some no-sores cushions were arranged for me on my recliner and computer chair. Bless them. I was still in some pain and got the shakes and dizzies while she was with me. I lost a lot of what was agreed. But there was something else, I think. When she’s gone, I increased the water intake to be on the safe side.

I got back onto the blog and made so many mistakes again. I was doing reminders for Monday and using the Sunday blog to catch up, and got slightly confused between the two.
So, from here on, I realise there may be more errors between the days. I hope not, but it’s so late in the day now; my eyes are fading fast, and my cognitive attention and recognition are worse.
I, well, my EQ can sense that my conditions, physically and mentally, are getting to me more, and things will get worse in a short space of time. Along with the lack of a good painkiller, the computer and related problems were getting worse, and later on, scarily, I had to shut it down before I was ready, blue-screen, shortage of memory warnings, and the frustrations developed again to keep Dark Dank, Depression Darius company. My wandering mind does not help.
The Catheter problems are returning, no sleep at all tonight, and backflow agony, and my responses to the problems and failed corrections are that I think I’m getting a smidge more resigned to them. Accepting them… what else can I do? Then I think of the help I get from Angel Jenny, and feel ashamed. I’m getting all morbid and self-pitying, aren’t I? Writing this codswallop, and knowing now what was to come overnight, I should be ashamed, too.

Another mystery snap found on my Kodak-Tim-2 camera. Not a mystery of what it is of, but a mystery of why the heck I took it in the first place, possibly not meaning to? All part of the great mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghosts, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, & spirits. Receptive Aphasia Phyllis, Paroxysmal dyskinesia, Episodic ataxia, Ménière’s disease, Dark, Dank Depression Darius, Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD), Brain with TBI, Toothache Tiffany, Nicodemus Neurotransmitters Dying, Cataract Katie, Fractured Knee Frank, Glaucoma Gladys, Anne Gyna, Stuttering Stephany, Lymphorrhea Leslie, Premordid Cognitive Impairment Inchie, DVT, Diabetic Polyneuropathy, Reflux Roger, Mind Wandering Malcolm, Blood-Levels up & down, Duodenal Doanld, and the damned seizures. With Fata Morganas that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited sanity of cerebrum and body. High Blood Pressure & Cholesterol. Did I mention getting shot twice and my mechanical aorta? My faith & hopes are on the wane. Not to mention my bank account, which is at its lowest it has ever been!
Just thought I’d mention it, like.

This photo, I’m not sure when I took it, but I think it was Monday, and I have no idea what it was of. A work of unintended art? No, a shaking Inchie. Haha!

Mizra made his only call of the day, following Ejaz’s.
WE hope to get the showring and laundry done on Tuesday. Fingers crossed there is no hassle to stick its nose in… There was, tell you next time. 🤐

Got the meal prepped and done. Mizra spread some bread and buttered it with no-butter butter and some soft cheese, to have with my nosh.
Smashing!

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Inchy:Monday 19th February 2024

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Another not a lot done day.

Nocturnal pouch.

Carer Richard arrived
We’ve agreed to leave the ankle & leg strappings off, to see how it goes. Richard did not put the diabetic socks
on, as I was hoping to get a shower this morning. But that didn’t happen!

Lovely morning view.
Amazing cloud and lighting.

Carer Maryham came, I thought it was for the domestic, but she helped me with getting the diabetic socks on, washing and shaving. We had a natter as we got the ablutioning done, and after getting a fresh dressing gown on, she took a photo of me.
What handsome looking best!

I got some bottles of Bladder-pleasing spring water into the front room. I’m trying to during more, as the urine in the day bag os getting darker.

A very rare event here! I microwaved a hot dog, opened a packet of low-calorie sticks, and I added a pot of orange jelly, and had an afternoon snack! Nice!

For four hours or so, nothing was done. It’s as if I had a seizure to memory blank. Nothing had been done on the blog either. No TV on, but that’s not unusual. The kettle felt cold, so I’d not made myself a brew of tea. Nothing else on the reminder notepad?
What the heck was I doing?

I tried to concentrate on blogging, even though I knew there wasn’t a cat in hell’s chance of getting caught up; I’m a day and a half behind now! Add all the cock-ups, mistakes, errors and mind-blanks that followed, and I eventually gave up. Tired, mentally weary and frustrated in the extreme!
I did, however, get the few photos taken into CorelDraw and got them in the WordPress gallery to use in the morning… at least, I hope to. I pondered over where the term cat in hell’s chance may have originated, I looked it up on Google: A footnote to a humorous poem printed in The Gentlemen’s Magazine of April 1792 perhaps gives a clue to the origin. “Charon”, it says, “has orders to deprive all cats of their claws. Whence comes that saying in hopeless cases – he has as much chance as a cat in Hell without claws”.

Got some fodder cooked, prepared, and served up.

Late night View

Evenin’ All!

Inchy: Fri 16 Feb 24 – If you find my mind, please return it, thank you.

In the early hours of this morning, I had a virtual epiphany… so natural, pleasant and unbelievable. I stood up from the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibblings, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly-grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300, recliner. I had no pains, aches, bleeding… even the catheter had gone.
I chose to float and did so. Landed back on the carpet and could hear Acker Bilk singing ‘Buona Sera, Señorita, Buona Sera’. Angels descended all around me, miniature-sized; my beloved lost cat Cyril was lying on the recliner, purring heavily; I could hear him clearly. I made my way to fuss him… And then I woke up!
Blimey, that felt so genuine as well! Tsk!

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Seeing the colour of the overnight wee-wee in the night pouch pulled me back to reality quickly! This is not good. Thankfully, the colour lightened later on as the day progressed. I hope it continues; it’s just a smidge of worrying this dark.
The end car park on Citrus Way looked different for some reason… Ah, the mudslide had reduced vastly.

Off to the wet room.
No luck again. Still, I did get to have a go at the crossword book and counted eleven cracks on the front wall.

Chimed, and into the room entered Carer . Who got the diabetic socks put on my legs and sorted the medications. As I went to put the kettle on, the Intercom rang out. Unbelievable! I’d got yet another food delivery arriving, Ocado this time. I can’t even remember making one with them. I need help with this problem.
I got the bags in and tried again to get some activity going. Although definitely was in charge, I felt was fighting back. A little messier than of late.
Back to sort the food. Surimi sticks, fruit in pots, brown sauce, lemon desserts, lavender Dettol, lemon mousse, black bean sauce and a can of ratatouille. I’ll try that tonight and see how it goes. Well, that’s the plan anyway.
Chunky vegetable soup, Lloyd tomato-type sauce with Mediterranean vegetables.
The two brown Italian tomatoes. came as three for a ridiculous price. But Ocado decided to send the pack with one of the ready-crushed semi-mashed and all runny. These brown tomatoes taste almost like meat; those I’ve had in the past have, anyway.

Carer Sam called. And Chris returned the laundry bag – Yee-Haa! It may have taken me a few days to get someone to take it, but it came back this week. That’s a positive improvement.
I got a landline call from the QMC Deep Vein Thrombosis & Anticoagulation teams Angel Nurse, Hristina. She will be calling on Monday for the next blood-taking test. ♥

Then, I got another landline call from Sister Jane. She was in her new posh flat, getting things sorted and ready to move in properly.
She said they had a fish & chip shop a few minutes’ walk from the apartment block. Jealous? Me? Ha! Yes! Hehehe!
She gave me some advice on cooking the pasta. I think we mentioned something about football referees but didn’t use any cus words.
I got the ratatouille in the saucepan and added some canned garden peas. I could not resist trying some as I put them in the pan. With the Lloyds sauce, Tomato with Mediterranean vegetables. I think I’m going to enjoy this one!

I took these photographs from the kitchen window.
At least it was clear enough for me to take a decent couple of sky-cloud shots as the sun began to dip. As I looked at the camera screen on Kodak Tim, I was chuffed with these, and after washing some utensils, I took a few more, which were a little darker than a few minutes earlier.
I did spot some figures in the clouds. An animal’s head, eyes, angel and fish. Bet there were more to find.
I pressed on with finalising Thursday’s blog. Then…

Well, a treble one, really. Getting really tired and concentration ebbing away, I went into the kitchen to check on my meal cooking progress… but didn’t get there first try. I tripped over the jacket that had fallen off of the chair onto the floor, which I’d not noticed.
I caught a hold of the door when sent me all a-wobbling as I tried to keep upright. Of course, that didn’t help, as the door was open. I hit the deck first, followed by few choice self-blaming naughty words flowed. Both knees, and for the first time, I noticed the backs of the knees were painful too? Mission Impossible (Painwise) was tackled. Crawling on all fours to get to the recliner to haul my body mass up into it to stand upright again. It was only a few feet from the door, but it seemed like a couple of hours to get to the chair. Inching painfully along, moving the knees a few inches at a time. After I finally made it into the chair, I had to sit for a moment or two for the pain to die down. Which I now realise was not such a good idea because both knees and whatever is at the back of the knees seemed to have stiffened up. I rose up gingerly and carefully, using the recliner arms, and got hold of, first, , leant against the chair then . I was thinking how much this hurt, and at, of all times… it chose this moment to go into action… Who was it? A
!!!
This had me lunging backwards into the recliner, landing with such a thud – burst and bled instantly!
Cleaning up, changing the Depends, and the medicationalsationings took me hours!
Extra painkillers had to be taken. I Phorpain gelled the Cartilages.
I was not in a perfect mood at this time.

The sunset view cheered me up a smidge, though, all the same. I took a wide shot first, then a zoomed-in shot.
Bootiful!

The old memory blanks blanks kicked in. No idea what happened next for a couple of hours; There were no photos or notes to refer to until I found this evening shot. Not a good one, by the way.
The meal was ready to serve, and I had a spoonful to try it. Well, excellent came to mind at first.
Undoubtedly, it looked good, so I saw how it tasted. For once, no phone went, no carer called, and I ate nearly all of it with great relish and satisfaction!
The lumps of Aubergines in it were so tasty! I’ll try this again, no doubt!
Did you find the spectacles?
I went straight to them the second I looked at the quiz picture.
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Sleep was a non-starter tonight. But after the attempted Har-Kari, the causes were varied. Pains, Shaking Shoulder Shirley, PN electric shocks from the right ankle, and Thought Storming Steven cocked up my hopes of a decent rest.

Keepeth Save, All!

Inchy: Thur 15 Feb 24: NHS Falls and Rehab Assessment today

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Another hazy, confusing day. Constantly fitting between tasks and somehow not getting many finished. I had a few minutes of almost clarity of mind when I was replying to the comments… it was heaven as long as it lasted. But that was it productiveness-wise. I struggled when the Community Rehab & Falls people were doing an update on my condition. I remember a lot, at least I think I do, but so many blanks, and I can’t find the numbers they left to contact them; if I remember anything, I’ve not told them as I fumbled along, losing track of what was going on. Stuttering Stephanie caused embarrassment, and (there’s a word for this, but I can’t recall it) when I used the wrong words a few times when answering their questions. I look up the word again; it is ‘Receptive Aphasia’; I’ve now given this ailment a name, calling her Receptive Aphasia Phyllis.
Confusion reigned, and I was out of it more than in. And, I forgot to record, or can’t find where I wrote it if I did, the time of their next appointment. Humph!

Once again, it’s the next day, and I have only just started on this blog. (Friday 09:30hrs)

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Getting my head down so late in the morning again and Thinking Storming Steven having regular go at my sanity, I was finally settling into a decent period of sleep, and the Carer arrived. (07:15hrs). This I recall. But what happened on the visit, is a mystery to me. I can’t read the scribbled notes about whatever happened, well, the odd word, like, no pouch… waste bags, throne and view. This, I assume, was the view. The first picture on Kodak Tim. Not many were there, with the two-hour-plus visitation from the Falls & Rehab interview. A lot of that I can remember, along with the blanks.
Another reversal in style and content from the first failed visit to the Porcelain Throne.
Waste bags were sorted out and placed near the doorway into the foyer. I recall seeing Josie’s as was, door and started to worry about her. I’ve found out she is in a care home in Arnold, but not which. I want to visit her, but no one seems to know where she is. Her family have been emptying her flat all week. So sad!
I did ask for the carers on each visit to take the laundry down for me.
But it’s still there, a bulging bag that is only going to get fullerer! Hahaha!.

Ah, I remember now; the first Carer was Christopher, and he came back later to check I was alright. Apparently, I was ‘Out of it’ and expressing depressional feelings on the first visit. Bless him!

NHS FALLS & REHABILITATION VISIT

Miguel, with Trainee Charlotte from the Falls Team, arrived at the flat, to do an assessment on me.
Some of this section may be out of sync or missing altogether due to my FND.
Had to put new batteries in the hearing aids, and they are all fine now with the hearing problem. But things being told me were not sinking in, and I was… well, what the word? Disorientated, adrift and losing track of what I was replying to as much as the advice and questions that were coming my way.
The medical history was updated. After an hour or so, I was told that an appointment would be made for a visit from a Physiotherapist. Which may be affected by the Physiotherapist’s Strike Action. I’d hoped to get help with the FND symptoms and Cognisant Impairment Iris. They bother me more than anything physical; I know the falls and pains are caused by a combination of Peripheral Neuropathy, Pete, & Receptive Dysphasia Phyllis. I think I mentioned the electric current tingling in the ankles and feet getting worse. If not, I meant to!
Miguel got me to do some exercises with stretching, leg lifting etc. Concentrated on the knees, and Cartilages Chloe and Carole. Carole was far more painful when lifting the right leg. I mentioned that it sometimes the left leg worse, or both of them. He mentioned something at this point, I think, but that has absconded into the grey haze of forgetfulness along with other things.
Talking of getting about difficulties, he had me walk around the flat with the trolley. I mentioned , and her wobbly handlebar. Miguel had it sorted in a short time for me; it works fine now. Grrreat! Thanks.
Reflux Roger kicked off while we were talking, and Miguel looked very concerned. I’m sure I explained how the problem arose after the Mechanical Aorta Valve operation. Ensuring him that there was only a vague imitational bit of pain each time it blasted out the air through my mouth, and it happens every day or night. The night ones would have woken me up, but with Thought Storming Steve and Shaking Shoulder Shirley, I was usually awake when he hit me, anyway.
After they had left, I could not find the contact numbers for them, as I mentioned earlier. Tsk!
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The late afternoon is a mystery to me. I know I was a little peed-off at myself for not recalling or recording matters of the visit and self-loathing at the time, but rather than a Memory Blank this time, it may have been due to Receptive Aphasia Phyllis. As I had not got anything done between drifting off and coming back for about an hour, on the computer. Of course, I may have nodded off in the computer chair?

Can of 3-Bean soup, with a vegetable and tomato sauce. Two cheap but nice Asda baguettes. A pot of 10-calorie strawberry jelly for afters.
It tasted lovely, rich, flavourful and most of it was eaten. (I made too much, methinks!)

I thought all that veg might have helped me on the Porcelain Throne Evacuation. It didn’t. This was my third failed attempt today! Hopefully, by the time the food works its way down into the guts, things will improve. Of course, I could be wrong!

How did you do at guessing what the thingamabob was in the photo?
Hehehe! Did you spot the face in the foam cleaner? I have to admit, I can’t see it now, but did at the time? No, no, I can see it again now!
I took a terribly bad picture of the evening view from the kitchen window. I’m getting good at doing this… something of an expert almost! But I tried one higher up, thinking it would be easier to get a decent-quality shot of the clouds in the night sky.
The clouds I saw with my eyes taking this, seem to have melted away? Ah, well!

I clouted my right shoulder against the wet room door. As I checked, I’d not left any taps running. This produced the longest-ever bout come attack from Shirley’s Shaking Shoulder I’ve had for a long time.

Shirley’s shuddering carried on to when I got my head down. Typical, the one night out of the last ten, that Thought Storming Steven was giving me a rest, and Shirley takes up the mantle of keeping me awake!

Unbelievable! I finally nod off in the early hours of the morning, and REflux Roger wakes me up repeatedly with his gigantic emissions of wind! Not that they hurt a lot; they just wake me up with the power of the gastroesophageal emissions. Humph!

TTFN!