Depression – Page 86 – Inchie Today

INCHIE: Friday 7th April 2023

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I fear for most of the day today, I was here, but my mind was far away. I started that-many plans, jobs and needs, but maybe got 10% of them done.
In fact, I lost the plots more often than I retained them. I went way off-track. Let things slip, failed to remember to do things, to think anything out. I lost consciousness in a way and awareness of activities and plots planned and needed. But, do you know, I fretted and got hot under the collar far less than usual!
Right up until around 20:00hrs, and all the worries, fears, shame, self-hatred returned. It was like mental torture, and the Thought-Storms kicked off and stayed with me.
I was aware of the problems all the same, but just didn’t care? If I could buy a drug to put me back into that mode, I would. It was like a new lease on life. I suppose/imagine that Dementia Doreen played a hand in this, but for once, I didn’t mind.
A shame it came to an end, but unfortunately, it’s left me with memory blanks over the last eleven hours. I wonder if Cannabis might help me get that wonderful part-day relief from worry back?
Hey-Ho! This is the best I can give you…
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A terrible night, almost sleepless, yet again. 04:00hrs: Decided to give up on sleeping and get the ablutions done early. No shower, too noisy that early for disturbing the neighbours.
On the 2nd Catheter bag emptying, I was happy to see was Rating 2: Great!
The right ankle ulcer had somehow been hidden from view this morning when I took these shots of it?
But the fatty tissue on the feet and ankle made walking and hobbling a smidgen dodgy all through the day.
But, Although I came close a few times… I avoided any tumbles.
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Pareidoliaing here with this shot. I see lips and or a mouth in there around the ankle bone? Hehe!

Went into the kitchenette to get the kettle on for a brew of Punjana Signature Blend tea.
The moon and sky looked blue to my eyes, so ~I took a snap of it.
Mede the mug of tea as I went to get the milk from the fridge (Well, that’s where I keep it – Hehe!) I saw how the moon and sky colours had changed in about five minutes?
I tried to get a good shot of it with the craters showing, but couldn’t get it right this morning. I think I took four photos of it, and this one is the best of the selection; on one, I actually caught only half of the moon. That is due to , and my nerve-end dying . They also caught me out when I was stirring the tea in the mug. Innit gobsmacking how maybe 2fl oz of liquid that spilt form the cup manages to spread itself on your dressing gown, hate counter, and the floor, and miraculously a few drops get into your right slipper? Cleaning that up was no fun.
Ailments , & were all activated by the time I’d got the mess cleaned up and replaced the dressing gown.
Got the Health Check belatedly done from the notepad. Well, this week is a vast improvement on last week’s returns! On the level tab, the L=Low, M= Medium and H= High for each scale.
Just look at the urine colour chart levels. Looking so good at the moment. (Just, mayhap I shouldn’t have said that?)

duties. Not good at all, in several ways:
①: The time lost waiting for the fully-in-control of . I tried to do the crossword while waiting for the action that had come part-way and was stuck rigidly to restart. But , and were making it very difficult to read the clues. So I counted the cracks and cobwebs on the wet room ceiling instead. Cracks 32, Webs 2.

②: I gave forth with a convoluted sort of… “Oooohargh… ach, (grinding what few teeth I have left) Ohohoho… Phew!” As the motion finally passed!
③: Then the task of cleaning things up. The water closet was not refilled again. So, I had to fetch water from the kitchen. Not an easy task with a walking stick and carrying basins of water, but I got it done in the end.
④: I managed the four trips balancing act, and I got the tank refilled. But, on leaving the room, I shoulder-charged the door frame edge again! This encouraged to join the other active ailments. I know I shouldn’t have, but I took an extra-strong over-the-counter Ibuprofen painkiller after I realised how bad the level of bother was that was giving me. At one stage, I checked to make sure that the shoulder bone hadn’t been detached from my elephantine, flobby-bodied torso. Hehehe!

Still a cloudless sky out there. It hardly looks like Nottingham usually does from the Detention Cells at Winwood Heights.
I’m in cell-block Woodthorpe Courts. It was a life sentence. You won’t be able to get your medications; The Wardens have told me that they will arrive the next day… on eleven occasions over the last three weeks. I did get part of them, with the usually failed promise that the rest will be delivered or fetched by the Carers tomorrow – again. Naturally, I’m still waiting for them. The NHS seem to be having difficulties getting any a . The water in the WC tank is not refilling, so I have to carry water to refill it from the kitchen every time I need to empty the catheter contents or use the . Many an , , and tumble. Also, my walking into doors and window-frames are all part & parcel of life in my beloved Woodthorpe Court Cell Block.
Still, it’s much better than them posting/moving me to an ‘Alcatraz’ (Care Home). After I had the stroke, the needed bed space at the hospital, and I@ was dispatched to such a home… and remember many of the events during my 3-month stay. If it wasn’t for Brother-in-Law Pete and Sister Janet fetching clothing from the flat for me, I’d have run out of clothes. So many did not return from the laundry; you would not believe it!
Fair enough, here in the Woodthorpe Cell Block, over the last six months, I’ve lost five bobble hats, four T-shirts, two towels, a dressing gown, pyjamas, and a jumper. But this is nothing compared to the Alcatraz. One week, I sent six items, and I never saw them again! I’m not a lucky person.

The wonderfully healthy-looking colour of the catheter bag’s contents continued to be, well, impressive! great!

I made an Asda order for next week. All went well, but of course, is their habit; there will be price increases and not available to add to the equation and situation.

During the day, Carers Sam, Josef, Jodie and Sam called on me.

In the PM, the sun got through. I took these shots facing the sun, and was pretty pleased with how they came out.

The weariness dawned on me, and my eyes were failing again. This is now a hemerine event. and will be, until I can get at least the cataract operation done and dusted.
That is if I live long enough or the shortages of medications do not see me off first. I can see the headlines now: ‘Old Fart in Nottingham killed by the NHS & Parmascist’ Haha!

This view of the late afternoon clouds was an absolute pareidolia’s delight!
And I found some animals in it, not saying what they were. That’s because, my looking at this now, I can no longer find them. I do feel a right fool! Which is understandable.

Waking up just in time to get these two
shots of the brilliant sunset as the sun fell
out of view over the horizon. ♥

The day bag emptying was again almost a perfect colour!.

again.
Carer woke me up. Sorted what med we had in stock. And, of course, no night bags to swap for the day bag on … one day, we may get some.
My estimate would be approximately September 2029. Or am I being over-optimistic in thinking I’ll live that long? Haha!
♬ Food Glorious Food ♬: Got in a bit of a pickle with having to work out the timing of the cooking of this feast. The oven, saucepan and microwave were all used in the preparation.
Sliced crispy roast spuds, boiled spuds, carrots, onions, and beetroot with gravy and soy mince.
I enjoyed this one. And the plain yoghourt with lemon curd added.
Flavour-Rating: 8/10.

But I was grossly disappointed in the lack of sleep again! No pains this time, just wave after wave of Thought Storms. Humph!

Go Forth with hopes of better times to come… Or, not like! Hahaha!

INCHIE: Thursday 6th April 2023 The Whoopsiedangleplop Fiesta day!

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OVERVIEW: Still flat-bound. No s nor any more of the 3 weeks overdue prescription medications received! Nothing was heard from the EENT Hospital about , or the operations possibly coming to fruition yet. Fancy that!

The first, and only one up to now, visit proffered an evacuation deposit that took ten minutes to push and coax out. Cost some blood and was painful, tearing some of the poor . Although the main issue was rock solid and clunked against the porcelain, it was followed by some messy, gooey, smelly mush! As I have often said: This daily agony, bleeding, frustrations, and many ailments, botherations, and failures do not bother me in the slightest. I only cried for two minutes!

Gave up on sleeping, and I rose (precariously) at 045:00hrs.
Emptied the day Catheter bag, rinsed, washed & disinfected the grey wee-wee bin.
was beginning another attack as I was sorting the waste bins out. Thought I’d left the tap running at first, but it was only the poor old eyes; more specifically, it was methinks was to blame.

On refilling in auto-mode, as is the catheter’s habit, the dark colour of the wee-wee was a disappointment this morning.
Trouble, as described above, on the first visit.

Took this photo with the flash on as I went to make a brew Glengettie.
It was pitch black outside; nothing at all like this photograph came out looking.
. The flash of the flash made me think it was the moon. Hehe!
I opened the window and shuddered with the cold breeze that met me face-on.
Now this is how the morning looked in reality (Not that I’m an expert in anything regarding reality; of course)

Forgot the tea, left it on the counter and went onto the computer. Later I remembered I’d forgotten the tea, went to make another one, and took this shot of the car park below.

Carer Shaquille did for me, and then Domestic Denise arrived. Then Carer Ator or Victor, then Carer Victor… yes, I’m confused too, called.
Each break, I got lost in where I was and what I was doing on the blog. Hehehe!

Later, the sunshine tried t get through for me.
Looking a little warmer out there now.

I was getting suddenly tired again, earlier than ever?

Not sure… no, I have no idea what the heck I took this shot for.
It was supposed to show the urine colouration, but somehow or other, I took my kneecap?
Mmm?

No good, got have a sit and rest, try to get some lost kip mayhap.

No chance of any rest at all, despite my terrible tiredness and the brain and body telling me to sleep. was launching the non-stop at me.
I genuinely feared for my sanity. So many worries, past and present, were zooming into my mind… none getting any solutions, ever-changing subjects. Me getting more and more agitated at my incapabilities to get things sorted… self-loathing and mixed in here and there, many a pathetic whimpering moment of self-pity. I spent hours stewing in my thoughts – so frustrated… Maybe the worst two hours of the week. Defeat and impotence & inadequacy to face and actually tackle any of the worries. No one to help me with this… mind you, is there anyone capable of helping me get the medications and the catheter night pouches delivered? Or to get me online so I can get into my banking details? Something has to change here. I’m struggling.

Mind Blank for an hour or two after I got up to make a meal. Seems the ‘Meal’ was a vegan burger, cob, cheese curls & some beetroot. Buggered, if I can recall eating it at all? But this photo found on the SD card found in the morning proves I must have.
More forgotten photos: This shot of the sky on the right must have been taken in the afternoon… I shouldn’t wonder, perhaps, possibly, maybe… but that really is a guess with the darker clouds? Of course, I could it be a well-off estimate. (I’m good at this and getting things wrong – a bit of an expert?)
Also found this one. Judging by the sun going down, I must have taken this one from 18:30 to 20:30hrs. Again, there is a slight possibility that I might be wrong about this as well. No memory of taking it remains to access, in ‘s abode. That being my Brain, of course.
Aha, these night pictures showing the moon from the kitchenette window triggered a flash of memory for me!

If I’m right, I’d had to get up to take a painkiller as I laid there in the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nibblings, & itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of, recliner and waiting fruitlessly for sleep to arrive. I decided to make a brew of Thompsons’ Punjana tea and spotted Mr Moon up there in the sky.
Yes, I recall it now; I remember being disappointed in my efforts. Laughing it off, I meandered hobblingly over to the sink and got the pots washed. Got them done, and could I find the camera? Nope!
My tired muddled mind mused of this. An in-depth search was started, drawers, cupboards, cabinets, fridge, cooker and oven, window ledge, the floor, and all corners/edges… Now panic was setting in. Had I somehow dropped it out of the window? Surely not; there is a strap on it. I always use that; I thread my skinny wrists through it or put it over my head.. BOING! In fact, , mayhap
I looked down at the camera hanging down from the cord around my neck and resting on my man breasts!

I was not happy with myself, and self recriminationalisationing commenced. The insults and language used were positively atrocious. As if I’d not had enough humiliation for one day (Again!). I returned the camera to its usual location. To be frank, I just wanted to take some sleeping pills and hide away in peace for a while with Sweet Morpheus. Is that too much to beg for? But, no chance of that! Oh… No!
The need for the arrived. The timing narked me a smidge. Obviously, I was well-tensed-up to start with. And the need was becoming more urgent; I had no choice other than to hasten to the wet room…
Giving the door frame edge a shoulder charge that any Welsh rugby fan would have been proud of. This prompted along with shaking into action. They both kept at it all night long. Only to be joined for an hour or so by .

My battle to get to sleep was interrupted when sweet . needed to be emptied.
I found that my usually rather anaemic, cadaverous, or eidolic leg colour was transmogrifying into a deep red in the extremities?

Now, this could be my INR level being too high or low,
No blood test for over a month, so how will I know?
My ankles were swollen; this will sound bizarro…
Do you see the valve leaking? Colour of cappuccino.
Or maybe rather more like a Cinzano,
The valve opened AGAIN of its own accord…
I took this photograph to record the problemo…
I’ll take it with me to show St. Peter when I go,
There may be fisticuffs, though!

It cost me an hour to clean up the mess and myself again.
The moment I got back down in the £300, second-hand shop bought nine years ago, c1966, discomfiting, alarmingly beige-coloured, crumb-containing, TV remote hiding, not working recliner; Just what I needed, a return of the Thought Storming!

Gave-up the silly thoughts of sleeping around 04:00hrs and got the ablutionalisationing done. Humph!

INCHIE: Wednesday 5th April 2023

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After last night’s near disaster with the computer – that resigned me to the fate of the computer’s death. I was worried stiff, and convinced that it was Kaput! Dead, finished! Now how can I get through, with no computer to order food in, get in touch with the bank (not that I can now, will have to rely on Kara to help me out once again, bless her, in getting online with the bank. Without the computer, this is mission impossible;
Thus another sleepless night. Ailments kept waking me up. Doreen’s Dementia made concentration out of the question, but did it get me panicking a little… alright then, a lot!
Yet this morning, things seemed back to normal with the computer?
Carer Kara arrived for the first call of the day. I do love seeing her. I
was going to ask her again if she fancied adopting me as a grandad… but forgot too. Humph! She changed the catheter bag for me, gave me the medications and explained about the medication cock-up with the chemist.
Then she called someone about the night bag shortages. Telling me the clinic will send me some to the flat. Super-Gal!
We had a natter, and off she trotted, taking the waste bag with her.

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I was amazed and overjoyed (Naturally, this did not last long). When
then the computer came on, it seemed to be operating correctly-ish.
Of course, I’d lost track of where I was up to, what I had done, and what needed doing next to the blog. Although there’s nothing new about this!

The first trip to the proved to be a slight improvement on the previous day’s evacuation efforts. But worryingly, there was deep red and thick textured blood for the first time in weeks.
I’m a smidgen concerned about the lack of any haematology nurses arriving for three weeks now to take some blood to analyse the INR (Warfarin) level. Has someone told them I’ve snuffed it, so I don’t need to bother?
Also, I only have a part pack of Warfarin left in the medical drawer? Only one tube of Fenbid Forte, No Codeines, Paracetamol, No Lanzoprazole, No Bisoprolol (Beta-blockers), No Furesomide (Water tablets),
or any Prochlorperazine tablets. Not to mention ‘s, or rather the absence of!
Carer Kara rang about these for me this morning to try and get some that the chemist says he cannot get a hold of at all! This is not good! The continence team will try an alternative bag to see if these are in stock.
This drawer has never been emptier. NHS problems? Pharmacy problems? Supplier problems? I’m also on the last few dregs of the Chloramphenicol Eye Drops.
Thank heavens for Carer Kara’s help.

She returned later the second call and tried to get through to the bank to ask for written statements and get me online. But it was an on-hold call that the gal could not wait for, other jobs to tend to, people to be cared for. She did her best for me, but there was no answer to the calls, and she had to go through a series of questions to get through to nobody! Thanks for trying, gal! ♥ Much appreciated!

Now I can get the ablutions tended to before returning to this blog. Put the dressing gown into the laundry bag, got a new one near the wet room door, and turned on the towel airer to use later.
I’ll time it again, going on at 12:25 hours.
All done and cleared up by 14:00 hours: Best time this month. Is my luck changing… , I do ask some silly questions at times! “Is my luck changing?” Tsk!

Whipped of the fancy plaster covering the papules. Only one still leaking, and all the others seem to be reclining… no, that’s not the word. Clearing up, that’ll do betterer. Hardly any water, the pad was only damp as opposed to wet.
Then the need for me to the arose. Another vastly improved evacuation. But at the rear end, bled again. Not a single cut shaving. The teeth and gums bled a bit, though.
As for showering, I had to cope with several turns, but I seemed alert enough to avoid any tumbles.
Just the one head butting of the power box today. Right near to the spot where I hit my forehead against the double-glazed window frame edge yesterday… or whenever it was. Quite pretty looking, actually. Hehehe! It looks rather like a Hindu lady’s Sindooram?
: I got the new pad on the papules. Well, papule, still only one leaking.
Olive oil in the ear holes.
Then the painful one had to be done. Get it out of the way. It is damned difficult and Oh so painful trying to get the Daktacort© into Little Inchie, with all of the tube stuck in him and blood leaking out simultaneously! But, me being the determined, unflinching, brave, indomitable, fervid young fellow that I am, had no bother about doing the job… I gave up!
The last of the eye drops were spilt all over my cheek, nose, chin and in my mouth. I do believe mayhap, perhaps almost a molecule of the drops may have made it into one eye.
The cost-a-bloody-fortune Germoloids were massaged into my bum; to try to ease . To be fair, it did, this is a great effective ointment, but it annoys the Bank Manager, me buying it. If it gets any costlier, I may need a loan to buy it!
, along with , and an extra dollop for my annoying me today, and won’t go away, bothersome. .
Finally, the Germolene was utilised in various parts of my elephantine body. Firstly, the fold of stomach fat, next the boil at the top of my leg, and then the head wounds were given a thin coating.
was dried off, and the exit valve was tested. I’m glad I did that; it had come open when I was in the shower, unbeknownst to me then, as the urine trickled down on my bare legs and feet! Brought forth sounds of anguish when I realised I had to put the shower back on to clean up again!

16:30hrs: Going to get the early meal started now, folks.

Changed into sunglasses. I was feeling drained, nearly blind and strained. I’ll finish this in the morning. I hope!

Good Morning!
Oh, dearie me… the nosh was disappointing last night. The same ready-made meal as last night, but this one had a lot of large chunks of carrots, which would typically be welcomed, but these were undercooked! Shame! Wonder what the third one (the last in the fridge) might taste like?
Still, the oven-baked potato chunks were well cooked by yours truly. And the cheap yoghourt with lemon curd put in went down nicely.
The best I can give for Taste-Rating for this one is 4/10.

Tried to stay awake to watch ‘Heartbeat’, but no!
Carer Josef arrived and woke me up. Is there no rest in this aged, grotty-looking c1966 made, charity-shop-bought, horribly beige-coloured, £300, Harold’s Haemorrhoid-testing, non-operational, acne-giving, virus-breeding, rickety, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner? Obviously, not a lot!
Josef medicated me and got off ASAP to let me fall asleep again, Bless him. I was soon back in the land of nod. Zzz!

Two-Hours later, from the door chime. I burst awake with a jolting, jarring, buffeting, twitching, and finally fluttered back into a semi-imitation wakefulness. Most reluctantly! But suddenly, sleep was of no interest. For it was Carer Carolynne who’d arrived.
She gave the medications and checked the taps (faucets), and the stove was not left on. A little mini natter and laugh were enjoyed, and off she trotted on her missions.
Could I get back to sleep? NO! Despite my mind and body demanding that I get more shut-eye, the brain and/or Sweet Morpheus denied me!
Hours later, I did drift off and swiftly (it felt to me) went into a dream where Grizelda and I were on a big fairground wheel – snuggling up! Great!

Then, damn it… the kicked in. AARGH!
Was I ropeable, furious, fuming, piqued, irritated, narked, depressed, or fed-up? YES! Was I once again in pain? YES! Was I suicidal? NO!

I feel my future, limited as it is, could be Panglossian

In a detrimental, foolishly-optimistic, unpropitious way…

INCHIE: Tuesday 4th April 2023

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Pickled walnuts and Gragknangles.
Another day of delays and frustrations!
Anything go-wrongable did! A day & nightmare.
No medications, catheter night pouches arrived!. Or help with the banking on the computer. Took a tumble mopping the kitchen floor!
The computer is doing really-weird things on its own accord.
No chance of getting the blog done. So it’ll be a quick blog. Had to ask Carer for help with the Wilko order after getting in a mess with it.
I am honestly getting to the end of my tether.
20:45 hrs and this is as far as I’ve got with it.

And red hat went to the laundry and never got back!

Fair colour after the first pouch emptying..

Took the pad off of the geyser legs. Getting in a mess with it

Walked around taking photos after investigating why I’d been woken up.
Eerie.

Red sky morning shot.

Housing view.

Carer Kara watched as I put a new pad on.

Asda Order arrived. Daffodils for the Carers

The fridge filled up;

Fair colour after the third pouch emptying.

Afternoon sunshine.

Sun got through.

Evening sunset of sorts.

Nosh

Base of the meal, ready-made.

A photo with the camera cover dropped down.
Unintended, of course!
Meal served up; With added oven bakes potato chunks.
Plain yoghourt with lemon curd added.
Smashing Meal!

Sleep was another grind! Getting to sleep was hard work…
Staying asleep was harder work…
Between then, , and
… oh,
was active throughout the ever-wakening night, as well.

Morning All!

INCHIE: Sunday 2nd April 2023

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ANOTHER BAD NIGHT KIP
That is only to be expected, mind you. The geyser-like papules had to keep being dried, Anne Gyner was bothersome again and with no catheter night bags available, the little day pouch had to be emptied a few times.
I hope the prescriptions arrive tomorrow. (Mind, I’ve been saying this for the last two Sundays!) Will the Finasteride tablets come? Not a cat-in-hells chance of getting rid of until they do. Then I’ve to take the entire course of them, however long that will be. Then the plan is, as long as I can pass urine myself, if so, for the district nurses to take out the catheter. But if I can’t pass, the only other option is a permanent catheter to be fitted. That is not a pleasant thought. Then again, will I ever get the tablets? They were ordered three weeks ago! Hey-Ho!
The water-spouting papules still had the face pattern to them this morning. I think a new one coming up has given my face lips now! Har-har!

Another mystery photo was taken?

Grand colour urine this second emptying!

Belated first mug of tea. Took this to show you the dank weather

Today had three visits. All messy!
Carer Rahmat came for the first two visits.
Got the ablutions done after her first visit.
Did it in less than two hours. No cuts, shaving, no bleeding teeth, no Whoopsies or Accifauxpas.

Then (It had to happen with me feeling smug, of course), I went to make a brew, and I just had to take a photo of the new flowering tree over the way, which is coming on a treat.

The kettle boiled, and I got the brew made.
Turned to take another photo and realised I’d left the window open. Ouch! I head-butted the edge of the frame.

An hour or so later, the sun was doing its best behind the thick clouds t

Amazingly, what seemed like minutes later…

The clouds broke.
It was probably hours later cause I was busy losing the battle with the computer, which is doing the oddest of things of its own accord!.

The sixth pouch emptying.
Great shade!

Sunset of sorts.
Still bootiful to me!

Eighth pouch emptying.
Grrreat colour!
Shame the prostate tablets didn’t arrive. Boo!

At last, I nearly missed it…

Magnifico!

Tea-time Carer Charly or Rihanna arrived at 20:40hrs.
They’ve been struggling today; bless ’em.
Gave me the medications and took a snap of
my head-butting the window frame result.

What a Plonker!

Got the meal served up.

Last of the imitation meat, thank heavens.
Taste: 7/10. Not good at all, this. But all the other
the ingredients were okay.

Only one papule is still leaking tonight; all the others seem to be dwindling into the ether as fast as they came on.

♬ Where have all the Papules gone… ♬

Beats me?

♬ Look on the bright side of Life ♬
Huh!

INCHIE: Saturday 1st April 2023

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THE TALE OF THE LEAKING LEG!
Not a Dr Who or Hammer House of Horrors tale!
It could only happen within the Confines and Mysteries of 72 Woodthorpe Court, with the ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodaemons, apparitions, and other grotesquenesses that haunt the hallways and lobbies searching for Inchie; to curse with bad luck, create ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes and botherations, to scare. worry and confuse me! This was one of their best efforts yet!

Last night’s scary quick growth of the leg lesions, and the sudden leaking of water from them, got even worse during the day. They eased off in the evening… for an hour or so, then…

New growth coming between the toes, and fate gave the papules a suitable pareidolia face to laugh at me! Hehehe!
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Up at 06:30, wiped the water from my leg and foot. I’m getting good at this after doing it all night long instead of sleeping. Humph!

Some blood in the , that’s because we still do not have any s delivered!

First of three visits to the , all messy again!.
Oddly, and reminiscent of the Dr Who episode, The Waters of Mars…

Not only the leg lesions but the eyes and nose were running???

Carer Sam arrived. The missing medications and catheter bags had not arrived yet. She brought the laundry for me and kindly hung up the dressing gowns for me. Then a little chin-wag. Thank you!
Took two snaps of the depressing weather.

Carer Jo-Anne came. Had a laugh as she medicated me.

Prepped the nosh for this evening. Cooked some imitation lamb and a can of vegetable soup, well seasoned to marinate all day. Put them all together, and Carer Ayowole arrived.

Had a good cleanup of the lesions on the leg.
They seem to be getting smaller now but still spurting water.
I can still see the face on the leg.

Sister Jane rang, still in bed, bless her.
She and hubby Pete are going to the football match this afternoon, then off to enjoy the Halle Concert at night. Nice!
We had a good natter. Told her about the leg leaking. Hehehe!

The wee-wee had changed to a decent colour.

Concentration is gone, getting tired, and the eyes are getting dimmer, as is usual at this time of night.

Carer Chloe arrived; nice to see her; it’s not often she calls on me. Had a giggle, and she checked the dates on the fridge foods. (Three binned)

The lesions are getting even smaller now.
Still pouring water out, though, but not all of them?

I turned on the oven to heat up ready fir the potatoes to go in.

A middling colour, not too bad.

Got the pots n the oven and turned the saucepan heat on the lowest setting to warm up ready for the spuds to go in, in half an hour or so.

Turned off this computer; as I did so, I could feel the water trickling a little quicker down the leg – another night of no sleep in the offing? Humph!.

Back in the morning… if I’ve not drowned in the night. Hehehe!

The nosh came out well…

I dined like a King… Well, maybe not!
I can’t imagine King Charles with a tray on his belly, scoffing vegetable soup with extra potatoes for supper? Nor eating it with his leg with the mystery papules leaking water, stuck up on a chair that needed him to keep wiping it, as he kept spilling the gravy on his dressing gown, chest and chin. Hehehe!

At least the short-lived water-releasing papules; two days up to now, are leaking far less. But worryingly, it looked in the morning like some new ones were coming… and a few on the right leg now, too!

Yours, from the old moaner, killed by the NHS, Doreen Dementia, his mechanical aorta valve, Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, Dracula Depressions and/or lack of catheter night bags to stop his bladder infection.
I mention these in the vain hope that someone will show an interest in what actually saw-me-off, in the end. when I’m gone. A bit late, I know, but wouldn’t it be lovely to come back to see other’s reactions?

Here are a few I could guess at:
Unnamed: “Huh, I don’t know how the old scrote lasted so long!”
Unnamed: “I told him to go to the doctor!”
Bank Manager: “Inchie? Who was that then?”
My ophthalmologist: ” Ah, one less in the queue for a cataract job!”
Dementia Neurologist: “I never actually saw him, but the nurses say he say he was in need of help. Didn’t get it did he? Shame!“
Local Pharmacist: “He’s dead? Hahaha!
Doctor (GP): “Deceased? Ah, that’s a blessing for him; but more for me!”
Audio Clinic Receptionist: Oh, pity. He was almost deal yer know!”
Otolaryngologist: “Do you know, I never had a patient with more solid packed-in earwax in my life. I liked him. When getting the wax out, I’d call my colleagues to show them… they never believed that so much could have come from just two ear canals!”
District Matron: “Yes, I’m sorry we couldn’t have supplied him with his much-needed medications and Catheter night bags. As he said himself; ‘At least when I snuff it, someone else will stand a chance of getting some night bags in hopes of relieving their bladder infections.”
Automatic, Inc. (WordPress): Didn’t he used to write that crappy blog?
St Peter: “Christ, I’ve got to put up with him now…”

Morning, all!

INCHIE: Wednesday 29th March 2023

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Annuver mind-blowing, busy, getting nothing done, and frustrating… but not so much so as yesterday was! I think.
But don’t let fool you. It was horrendous!
When I say horrendous, it wasn’t all horrible; there were about ten minutes of near-contentment around 13:00hrs.
The promise of the medications about to arrive was soon demolished.
About a third of them came. But no Catheter night bags, and the new tablets for the Prostate reduction, failed to make it.
So, the night is going to be another one of agony.
Another promise of the rest of the things to arrive tomorrow; I’m not too hopeful of fruition after waiting for a fortnight. No Warfarin, but I do have a few left. No INR nurse arrived to take the blood for testing. No DVT nurse came for the vein draining. Heard nothing about the next brain scan. The after-stroke & falls team have not appeared for a few weeks. I’m out of the cream for Little Inches’ fungal lesion.
And I’ve had a tumble in the kitchen. Hands and knees job back to the front room, knocking the bottles of spring water off of the ottoman en route… with one of them landing right on my Onychovryotosis (ingrowing toenail). Slipped using the arm of the c1966. charity shop bought, second-hand, wincingly grotty, beige coloured, not working, crumb-covered from the nocturnal nobbling, itch-making, uncomfortable, virus breeding, easy-to-fall-out-of recliner, to get back up on my feet. Had to sit down for a while.
The Carer gals had done their best for me.
But there is always that feeling; ‘What next!’ There’s always something going wrong. Now it’s emails from Grammarly telling me my renewal has been refused, but not why. Is it another con job?
Depression is a constant in my life now!
Still, the Matron called to see me. She’s been asked to by the Doctor, who was worried about me? Now that’s new and nice! I mentioned the lack of medications, night bags for the catheter, and the odd sensations that overcome me at times. The problems with mail, email and the computer, not being able to get onto online banking to sort things out; and no help available with these issues. At least, I think I mentioned these difficulties to Matron. If not, I meant to.
Now 23:45hrs, and I’m up to here in the blog. Tired, smelly, worried, half-out-of-it, and so hungry. Nowt new here then… – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

A night of with the odd bother from tormenting ensuring that I seemed to spend longer awake than asleep. I gave up trying around 05:00hrs.

The urine looks darker than it really was when I emptied the pouch.

No change in the ankles.

No chance of any cloud pareidoliaing this morning.
White cars rule in the car park.

Jimminee, the colour of the wee this time was almost perfect.
And I was passing a lot, too!

The computer on! Made an order for Asda for next week. And signed up for the Delivery pass, which should save me a little. Went for the cheaper one, so I have to book orders for Tue-Wed-Thur each time to get it free.

The urine is getting a move-on today.
Lovely colour too!

Wonderful clouds this afternoon!

During the day, I had Carers Kara, Domestic Denise, Carer Josef, and Carer Carer Sam, who brought the part-medications for me; bless her. And bless Carer Carolynne, who looked at the computer problem for me. No decision was made or action was taken; mind you, she didn’t have the time.

Went to check on the spuds in the slow cooker.
Not sure how I took this photo?

Matron arrived. As I said earlier, whatever I could remember about the medicationalistical situation, I passed on to her. Got a student with her.

Hahaha! The wee kept on coming!
A good thing, methinks?

Overcast as the rain stopped, I took this picture.
Not very good, is it? Tsk!.

It’s gerrin’ a better colour as the night comes on! Great!

Nosh Served Up

The potatoes were slow-cooked with sea salt & vinegar.
Can if garden peas, and a first for me, never tried them before, imitation fish goujons, with a cob or two. Followed by the cheapest of yoghourts, flavoured with some lemon curd mixed in. (Nice!)
The vegan batter on the goujons was okay; the content of them was, well… tasteless! Disappointing, shan’t bother with them again.
Overall, a flavour rating of 6.2/10.

Left the pots in the sink soaking and got my head down.
Colin Cramps gave me a break, and even Anne Gyna only woke me up with her stabbing pains about six times.
The tiny day catheter pouch Still none of the larger night bags delivered); let me know it needed emptying twice.
As you can see by the top Ode, Dementia Doreen gave me an odd dream to use in the rhyme. Bless her!

May you find fun and festivities & have fantastic future feasts frequently!

INCHIE: Friday 24th March 2023

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IN PART ODE

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Overview, Revue & Waffling Ode
I sat looking at the screen for an age, impotent,
Trying to be creative, but I couldn’t,
The brains power and batteries were absent,
The mind was not interested nor compliant!
But, I was determined to get through this addlement…
This Mind-Blank, with a feeling of being insignificant,
My thought process is uncomplaisant…
Was it Doreen’s Dementia being defiant?
The thoughts fused, terribly absonant…
Focus clarifies a smidgen, then back to blent,
Many hours I’ve just spent…
Doing this ode, although claudicant…
I’ve written very little, originally meant…
Going through denudement, with no denouement!
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The urine was another bad colour.

Popped through the letterbox was a leaflet regarding Winwood Heights Social activities. Which was impossible to read due to the small print and, of course, , & are chief suspects as well. My immediate desires inspired, were for me to go on a day trip out to the coast, maybe?
Then, of course, reality kicked in.
How the heck would I cope with the catheter and bag emptying?
Taking the medications? Ans, should be some miracle I made it to Skegness; there would be no way on the planet that I could resist a fish & chip meal!
Then, of course, should I be foolish enough to go on one – there is little doubt that one of the medical procedures I’m on the list for would arrive on the same day! Plenty to choose from; Cataracts, Glaucoma, Saccades, replacement bladder, and DVT vein bleed. Or another one of the Brain Scans.
I’ll have to go into a self-sulk mode and forget about any idea of a day at the seaside; it’s just impracticable! (Is that the right word?)

The Iceland order arrived.

Strawberry treats for the gals. With some different drinks this time. Vanilla ice-cream-flavoured ones. I tried one later from the fridge – very nice!
The especially ‘flattened’ wholemeal rolls. Miraculously, they had some of the cheap kitchen towels in stock for once.

The highlight was a meal I had never tried before.
Looking forward to this.

Good Heavens…

The urine was running a much healthier colour!

Mind Blank Time
One minute I was on the computer, went to the Throne, and found myself five hours later, standing in the kitchen taking photos in the dark? Obviously, Carers had called, but could I remember who and when? No!

Raining!

Got back to the computer but just could not focus, so packed up and back to take the photos again.

The rain has stopped, and as I went into the kitchenette, the sun found a gap in the clouds, offering me some pareidoliaing time.

Got the oven on heating up for the potato chunks. The ready meal will go in the microwave for nine minutes. So potatoes in when the heat gets to 200, 20 minutes later, I can put the Moussaka in the microwave, and hopefully, they will both be ready at the same time.

Back to the . The messy evacuation needed cleaning up. Then I realised that the WC tank was filling up very slowly – and while doing it, there was no water available from the cold tap on the sink? Friday night again – things always go wrong when there is no one on-site to help! Grumph!

Back to check on the meal to check…
But could not resist these views, a Pareidlia’s delight!

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Both of these snaps offered up a multitude of figures for me to identify. The fact is, I was at it so long I overcooked the potatoes – but nae bother, I like them tinged a little brown around the edges.

Gorgeous tasting this one was!
I was sat in the second-hand shop-bought, £300, c1968, overwhelmingly-sickeningly-beige coloured, tatty, uncomfortable, wobbly, germ-producing, falling to pieces, food residue collecting recliner, feasting on this wonderfully flavoured fodder; when, in came Carer Jozef. He was soon off, with no night bag to change and no medications to give – they have still not arrived yet!

Finished off the nosh, washed things up and settled to watch a Jonathan Creek episode on the TV.
But it was not to be...
Zzz!

INCHIE: Thursday 23rd March 3023

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Ha-Ha-Ha!
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I’d like to report that things were very much better today.
But I can’t!
The agony of worries over the shortages of medications and the tube chaffing from tube; many other things, but the main one was , who was winning the battle with never having been so bad.
, & ensured that my vision was crap and getting worse. Plus, so many hours were spent correcting mistakes. Just thought I’d mention it.

As usual for the last two weeks, frustratingly, there was no night-bag to change. This mystery of the medication’s non-arrival, and unattainable night catcher bags, is the reason for the pain I’m suffering. The night bag gave the day bag a refresh, which I believe helped clear the infection from the bladder. The mega-high Blood Pressure and the darkening urine since these things stopped coming to indicate this to me. But I’m powerless to do anything about them. No District nurse calling; new medications, along with last months medication, supposedly waiting for collection at the pharmacy. No DVT or
Phlebotomy nurse called in weeks now? I’m in bad pain through the lack of tablets. Doreen’s Dementia is affecting my responses. The eyes are making everyday tasks harder and full of accidents and mistakes. Oh, dear! Just thought I’d mention it. Not that it helps, of course.

Fancy that!
But it lightened later.

Morning view

But the blood pressure was horrendous! I did extra checks in the hope that it would come down, but… Nope! Wonder if this is due to the none attainment of, and running out of some medications?

Fingers crossed

Oh the bright side (I had to look very hard, Hehe!), the ankle ulcers were nice and calm. (Says Inchie as he gets grief from the catheter tube via Little Inchie and cleans the blood up changers protection pants,
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Then get more stabbings from .

A bad day all round today.
Window-Man Joe called to do them.
I was out of it most of the time with taking so many painkillers, I think.
No idea what had happened for several hours.
I keep mentioning the pain I was in to each Carer.
At least, I think I must have.

Got the meal served up early, I gave up trying to concentrate on the computer. Cooked the meal without any damage. Hehe!

Sat watching TV with subtitles and devouring the pleasantly tasty meal I’d done for myself. Pretend meat (Very nice), beetroot, tomatoes, and potato cubes done in the oven after being sprayed with oil.
Carer Josef arrived mid-feast. Can’t recall what happened, he was soon off, as there was no night bag to change, and I’d already taken the painkillers & Peptac. Nice lad.

Zzz!

INCHIE: Sunday 26th March 2023

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Good news from the man who has just cut the Lincoln CPSO’s number by over 40%, the Nottingham Police Budget by 29%, and Huddersfield by 29%
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What a rotten, boring, painful, disheartening, depressing… but most all thoroughly confusing day for the old chap (me).
I was hairy-fairy, out-of-it-minded for most of the day. Confused… so mind numb, and forever different things were playing on my mind, worries over the great stack of letters I’ve accumulated waiting for help with them… then the computer problems; the medical situation – Two tablets ran out of, no delivery of the prescriptions or Catheter night bags for two weeks… Then fretting over the water in the wet room not running – the WD tank not refilling… well, it was, but it took 16 minutes to fill this morning, and no water was available from the tap in the sink while the tank filled, then it was barely trickled coming out… Having to fetch water in a bowl from the kitchen to clear the evacuated product and refill the tank. Anne Gyna giving more jip than ever before. I think I must have OD’d on painkillers. No nurses called, District, DVT or phlebotomy Warfarin tests for weeks now! Not wanting to eat, and that’s not me. I think I’ve had enough.

However, the urine was a much better colour today and flowed heavily at times into the Catheter bag. Sorry, but it’s been a mind-baffling day. So only boring catheter photos, mostly. The Mind-Blanks were so regular even I was aware of them after each one (I think), within seconds of returning to my condition of semi-consciousness and awareness. My attention, concentration and brain were all over the place. It does not make much sense even to me. I started so many things and veered of into others – nothing solved, of course, just got myself more frustrated about things.

Sister Jane rang me in one of my ‘dour’ moments. It was a little hard to hear what she said at times, but we did manage a little gossip about the past. I really enjoyed that. Bless her cotton socks. I do miss a good natter! Well, I miss a lot of things as well. Getting dressed and going out, health, having a belly that is not filled and bloated. A brain that worked. The ability to walk and run, especially my hobbles through the tree copse, I enjoyed nearly every day. Having hearing and eyesight. Not having PN… Sorry, I’ll shut up about my struggle now.

Of course, the brain may not, but the self-pity periods will no doubt come again. Likely when (If) I can get my head down, and either Anne Gyna or Colin Cramps – sometimes both over the last four nights, keep waking me up from my… erm, what’s it called… Ah, sleep! Then start shoving the Codeines down my throat in desperation and hope of killing the pain enough to get some rest. Even then, occasionally, the brain can be hyperactive; that’s as bad a sleep depriver as the pains. I do need help.

I can see the future headlines; “Man jumps from 12th-floor flat & lives!”

Just my rotten luck! Hehehe!

On with any bits of newsworthy idiocy and photos with inane comments- – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Why I took this, I know not. No doubt I had some witty comment in mind at the time (Whenever that was). Or… took it accidentally?

Plates of meat on the first catheter bag emptying.

Good colour; the bag needed emptying more times today than ever!.

Murky!

Still yet, the Catheter Pouch Fills – Great!

The ankles and feet swell a little, and blood under the skin?

Aha, an hour later, much better!

The right ankle ulcer starts to glow? Hehe! No pain with it. A few indentations in the flesh still. What they, I’ve not the foggiest! I suppose it’s all a part and parcel of the unaccountable mysteries, ailments, phantoms, failings and hauntings of 72, Woodthorpe Court.

TTFN