Memory Mangling Malcolm – Page 4

Adscititious Inchy: Monday 23rd September 2024

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Inchy stirred and realised that the electric shocks from the ankle, Back-Pain-Belinda, and Dizzy Dennis had not paid him any visits overnight. He was impressed! The sore-lipped old chap staggered from his bed later to check if he had left a cooker or tap on. He had to divert to the Porcelain Throne, carrying his nocturnal catheter pouch and walking stick with him due to the possibility of not getting to the wet room in time. He did, but it was a close call! There were the usual apparent signs of his needing an urgent evacuation, including the gurgling from his innards, which he swears he could hear. And that was without his hearing aids! He sensed that the product was on its way before he opened the door, and to stop the flow, he had to sit on the plastic seat post-haste for a while to delay things. Messy, very messy! But what got to him was how much it hurt him. Good Heavens, it was almost liquid; how come that was painful? Ah, well! He cleaned everything up and went to the kitchen to check the taps, stove, fridge doors, etc., and get the kettle on. Inchy will take over now. Hehe!

Everything was okay in the kitchen. I did think it looked a little dark out there this morning. When I turned the light off for a better look, Boy, it was misty. I took some Kodak snaps of the view. The pictures came out much lighter than they looked to the naked eye. When I opened the window, I was in double shock. One was seeing myself in the mirror’s reflection and how pale I looked, and then I saw the clock. It was only 03:30hrs. So, I’d only be in bed for two hours. I’ll suffer later in the day but will try to stay awake. Tsk! It was drizzling outside, and a hazy mist lingered at ground level in the darkness. At that moment, I felt pretty perky. But that didn’t last for long!

Then I realised I’d left the nocturnal pouch in the wet room and had not emptied it as I thought I had. So, I emptied it. It did seem the logical thing to do. Not too bad a colour, but a few minutes later, when Carer Richard turned up, he said it was a five. Medications were given, and he checked the stock available. He could not ring the District Nurses about my shortage of Catheter bags cause it was too early, and he was on his last call with me.

I had a go at the blog after Richard had left, but I was soon getting all het-up again! CorelDraw was not saving anything with a new name. Oh, dear, now I’m sinking in spirit!

This soon became a Dracula Depression when the SD card reader started playing up. A CorelDraw message told me, “An IO fault was stopping CorelDraw from recognising the unknown file.” Of course, I had no idea what an IO fault meant. So I went on Google and asked. “It is usually a fault with a material connection, but it can mean anything else!”
I see! Well, I didn’t really.

I gave up and started the ablutioning. Which went very well indeed. In fact, getting the diabetic night socks off was the most challenging part. No, no, it was the second most challenging part. I did the peripheries first, then the medications. Little Inchies Fungal Lesion was the most painful job. Second was getting the socks off. I stood in a bowl with some disinfectant and shower gel in hot water and started to get the shaving done. A body scrub, then the teeth were done. Rear-end Germolened, Folds of flesh acne & eczema ointmented. The nasal spray was sprayed, and eye drops were inserted and sprayed with the Mydriacyl®. The barrier cream was applied to the testicles, underarms and leg tops. Phorpain Gel is rubbed into the knees and cartilage areas on both legs. Olive oiled the earholes, and then I had a good clean-up of the wetroom… Mop , as I lost my balance and grabbed a hold of the nearest solid support available; the sink and the mop is now in two pieces.
I could not believe my rotten, never-ending, lousy luck, but it happened to me! However, up to this point, I still think today has been lucky for me.
I try to explain my ailments and problems to people, and while I feel ignored, I can understand folks being disbelievers. I really can. I would not have believed myself thirty years ago. That doesn’t make sense, does it?

I’m back on the computer again. The graphic problems make it hard work, dispiriting, frustrating, and sometimes infuriatingly maddening.

Carer Chloe arrived. I meant to ask her to get the socks on my legs. It’s getting nippy in here now. The fog is still out there, and the odd fine shower is pouring down. But I also wanted Chloe to call and ring the District Nurses to order some more nappies… no, no… I mean catheter bags, nocturnal and short-leg-gay pouches. I’m on my last night bag tonight. I did ask someone last week who did their best but ran out of time, telling me she’d ring later and let me know. She might not be back at work yet. But I can’t run out of bags again… PLLLEASE! It could kill me. (Ah, I see now! Hehe!) Chloe is going to ask Warden Deana if she can help. Do you ever get that feeling that someone doesn’t like you? Fair enough, I’m ready. Well, peeved off! Hahaha!

INCHES BONUS ODES TO LIFE

The mist & rain doth fall,
It looked almost anatomical,
Needing rain is apodictical,
But it’s unpredictable…
Like Earth, it’s apocryphal,
Is nature cerebral?
Aren’t floods terrible?
Nature, we must coddle…
Humankind is daedal,
Nature; extracorporeal,
Life can be excrementitial…
Driving us demential!
What a load of doggerel!

LIFE when one gets DECREPIT

Today was more frustrating than any in the year,
I wanted to be adopted: no one would volunteer,
One grows grumblier, grumpier, grungier…
Life gets klutzier, knottier, & crabbier,
Life does not get cushier but eerier,
Disabilities, we get weaker & wearier,
Ever changing: long gone, it was simpler,
No wonder we get nigglier,
We don’t fit in; we feel lower, freakier.
Never again to drop ’em. & sit on a photocopier!

Har-Har!
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Well, I couldn’t!
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Going to make some nosh now.

A NEW HIGHEST TASTE RATED MEAL!
Three mini sliced wholemeal rolls slathered with butter, sliced tomatoes, and a sprinkle of sea salt, with some sliced, seasoned cooked Belly pork from Poland. Branston sauce in a pot to dip the food before it went heavenly into my mouth and gullet. Garden peas and potato pieces baked in the oven with a hint of liquid smoke flavouring, and vinegar and liquid sea salt added. I ate it deliberately and slowly, highly pleasing my taste buds.
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Bye-Bye

Dishy Inchy: Sunday 22nd September 2024

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I am fatigued from fighting my bad luck and getting no help with finances or ablutions. I also need help sorting out a lift to the Doctor’s or hospital, contacting the bank, arranging supplies for medical needs, catheter bags, etc.
Today, I was at my lowest ever. Why? I’ll tell yers…

My BP was 166/69; I should have told me to ring 111 and ask for advice. But they will probably tell me to go to the hospital on Monday. How do I get there? I’d walk it if the weather was okay if it was to the City Hospital, but that used to take me an hour each way. With my declining health, providing it didn’t kill me, how long would it take now? I have to set out and give myself 4 hours tp get there and back. Haha! Also, besides that, Cartilage Chloe & Carole are liable to let me down, inviting a tumble en route. Dizzy Dennis may well have me over as well. Back-Pain Brenda, Arthur Itis, Ankle Ulcer Ulrich, Electric Shocking Sherida… and another thing just came to mind, the tiny Catheter day pouch would be filled before I got there or home again! I’ve told so many people about this problem. Carer Kara was a Precious-Gem who helped me. ♥ But she is now working in the office, they tell me. I shall have to plead with Obergruppenfurher Deana to see if she can advise or help with going to the hospital. And getting dressed beforehand. I hope the trousers still fit me! I have not worn them for months, and I’ve not been out. Well, I can’t get out. Oh, I must get them cleaned next week, after making sure they fit me. Worra life!

CorelDraw is playing up again. I lost hours trying to get the bloody thing to save the graphics I’d done. I think if… and that’s a dirty-great IF, I can get someone to come and add memory to my computer, it might solve the issue… then again, with my rotten bad luck. I would be working away, and suddenly, it would not save anything. Luckily, I’d got most of the graphics and some photos on the blog.
I can’t go on like this. I’m making myself feel worse by focusing on the frustrations of things not working and the lack of help.
If only things were like two years ago when I’d walk daily through the tree copse, up into Woodthorpe, onto Mansfield Road, down to the shops to get anything I wanted, and back up Winchester Street Hill to the flats.
Of course, being captive in the flat means I have trouble getting out and need a lift to get money to pay people.
My bank balance is the lowest it’s ever been without Starmer robbing me of my winter fuel handout or increasing the tax on my pension. I’ll try putting a hex and or jinx on him!

The blog may stop suddenly or may not be worth doing without graphics. Of course, anytime now, I anticipate someone will listen to my problems and come up with some assistance to alleviate not only my fear and frustration but please, God, please ease my depression 🙏🏻.

Trying to think things through, you wouldn’t believe how much I’m struggling to get to grips and get almost anything done. Being ignored is part of things when one gets older.

I’ve done mopping & moaning, but I don’t feel any better.

Tail-end of the lightning storm.

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Carer Ayu called, and I went to fetch some Codeines from the medical drawer in the kitchen. gave way, and I was on the floor in no time. Hitting my shoulder and neck on the way down. He hastened to get me up again. No need for any assistance; it was only pain & loss of balance. I’ve had much worse.

Google played up, and I gave up!
Going to get some food prepared and eaten.

TTFN

Aquaphobic Inchy: Saturday 21st September 2024

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MY WAKENING OVERVIEW: Carer Chris woke me up. I was in a terrible condition. Confused, & Dizzy. Initially, I did not have the foggiest idea where I was… it took a while to glean who I was. I genuinely thought I’d kicked the bucket. Then I found I could not get up! I asked Chris to leave me where I was. I wanted to sleep, but I sat there for five more hours. Just think about things and my various sad conditions. Sweet Morpheus ignoring me.

Reality meant nothing for this period.

I was suddenly feeling wide awake and brave enough to stand up – but Cather Chloe brought me back to semi-certitude as she gave way, and I clumped down on the left knee. Even more time was lost in getting back up. Thankfully, the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner was feet away and utilised it to get me back up on my feet, albeit somewhat painfully and shakily. I thought about pressing the wristlet alarm. Something wasn’t right about how I felt. But what could I tell them? I didn’t press for help. I really think now I ought to have. The sudden semi-recovery in my awareness kept disappearing and returning for the rest of the day.
We were having a heyday with me. These persisted from when I got up to when I settled in bed 18 hours later. ; As for him, he didn’t give me a break at all; he’d moved in permanently.
I added a few notes to the other things concerning me for whenever I can get to see the Doctor.
However, the severity of these ailments did lessen as the day went on – well, apart from.
Sunday morning now, not a lot of details remain. But the waking-up routine has stayed with me. Recollections will be limited due to a lack of time during the day after getting up late. I’m in a state, mate.
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Too dark!

Not sure when this was taken. Not many photos were taken this morning.

Presumably, he took these before and after the ablutions. The old man got up so late that he had to do them late, around 17:00 hrs. But why did he?

Evening snap.

Two ready-made meals in one large bowl!
A beef in rich stour gravy (cook in the pouch) and a Beef Casserole. Last of the Danish bread and a Lemon flavoured yoghourt to follow.

When I got into bed, I hoped for the best. I feared another night or morning like the last ones, with me out of it and incapable of standing up. Fingers crossed!

Then, the lightning started. I moved from the bed to the
£300 second-hand shop purchased, c1966, welt-causing, uncomfortable, not-working, itch-inspirational, crumb-containing recliner, so I could see the distant lightning that covered the whole horizon, beautiful!
Then, I decided (another stupid decision) to get the camera to try and catch a shot of the lighting.
Of course, I couldn’t; the lightning was gone when I hit the take-button, it had gone.

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TTFNski, each.
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Gonglehead Inchy: Friday 20th September 2024

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On the right here is an admirer of Mr Clough, ‘Cloughie’. It’s Inchy. Taken this morning… with him actually smiling! Yes! Well, very nearly, anyway. That’s a rarity to be seen nowadays for the old fart to be doing. I imagine the old man was either high on drugs or Dementia Doreen was toying with him. Either way, the poor sod did not know how the day was going to go, obviously. Had his EQ or Alto Ego Inchie warned him, there would have been no smile on his face! He may well have been spitting blood & crying, too.
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I didn’t get around to this blog until 17:20hrs.
I could do with some magic powers…
I’ve lost hours and hours...
Not though my fault; it angers!
I’m sick of the bad-luck adducers,
Still, I suppose it will get worse…
How can I free myself from this curse?
A plea for help is this verse!
Or at least see another nurse…
A short one today, on & on, he bleaters!
Hehehe!

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A little lighter today?

The most frustrating evacuation of the week!
Sheer agony, as the moulded-together clumps of product crept out so painfully slowly. I felt sure something was going to get ruptured during this session. The Germoloid cream was clearly visible in the almost black escaped mass.
I stayed seated for a while, letting the pain ease, which it did in a couple of minutes. Then, I firmly grabbed the grab bars to raise myself from the WC.
My hand caught the pink spray bottle of foam cleaner on the rail. I sprayed myself, the porcelain, the cabinet and the floor as I had a kerfuffle in trying to stop it from falling on the floor and bursting open. As I stood there weighing up my lousy luck and how best to clean it and my rear end up. I got a short bolt from , followed within seconds by a few . Never had two so close before, so I was not ready for the second one. It was only for a few seconds; it was as if I’d blinked and woken to find the pink spray bottle lying on the floor and leaking! Not a good start to the day! Then again, I should be used to them by now! But for some reason, I was riled by this Accifauxpas. Even more rileder after all that bending down had got kicking-off.

I decided that an early mug of tea might lessen my woes, so I went to the kitchen and thought I’d take a snap of the dank, misty morning. I stayed that way all day. However, I took this unintentional picture of the window ledge first. Clever that, how I didn’t realise. Ha-ha!
Then I moved into position, hanging out of the window to take the morning view.
Getting back in, I very nearly swore!! I stubbed my ingrowing toenail toe under the heater. It still hurts!

Carer Maryham arrived and tried to ring the Community Nurses to order more day and night bags for me. But I’d given her the wrong number. She’d run out of time then, so she had to scoot off. She said she would ring them later and let me know how it went. I haven’t heard anything. She may be doing it tomorrow because I did tell her I had some left to use, but I’d like to keep the stocks up now that Kara is not calling. That was good of her.♥ She noticed me holding my arm and looked at it, taking a photo of it. More about that later.

Carer Joanne came later with the medications that had been ordered. She was in a rush, but I remembered to ask her how her visit to the urology unit went. She’s still waiting for the results from Tuesday. Nice gal. ♥

I got back to the blog work. There was a massive cock-up, which began then!
I was doing what I had been doing: posting pictures taken with the camera, sized, and titivated on CorelDraw to the WordPress blog. I’d done about four of them, and on the fifth, they were disappearing. I got them in the file, but they did not appear on WordPress. At first, I was not too bothered, as I recalled last week, forgetting to convert them to JPG. So, I went back to CorelDraw to make sure… While checking on the graphics… The screen filled with so many messages about the computer being short of memory came up on the screen. The depression was instant!
I then spent four hours trying to clear stuff, but after my last two manual clear-ups, when I lost hundreds of files I needed for the blog, I was nervous about doing it again.
I supposed they were triggered by the tension I felt. I couldn’t continue with the manual clear-out. After each seizure, I was lost, confused as to what I was up to or had already done.
Then CorelDraw froze on me. Sister Jane rang me; it seemed that the Carers had called her to tell her about the whatever it is red spots on my swollen right arm. I said it was nothing and I’d put cream on it, and it is hardly noticeable now. Then she told me I was eating far too much! I’m happy she rang me all the same. Hehehe! We had a natter, and Jane told me how things were at her end, which I enjoyed.

Then it was back to the computer problem, which caused more time loss. Ultimately, I had to pay for a CCleaner for the computer, which required another hour of downloading and installing! There was no financial help. I can’t even get on the bank’s site on my own.

By now, the day was coming to an end!.
But after running it, CorelDraw started working again! Hurrah! So, I was making a start on this blog at long last, and Carer Christopher arrived. He pointed out that I had no diabetic socks on. He was right; I’d forgotten to ask Maryham and Joanne to get them on. Tsk! Another fine day!
It’s too late for me to bother now.

I’m going to get the oven on. I’ve been at the problem sorting for too long. I’ve missed both Heartbeat episodes on TV. I just found out the day catheter bag was like carrying a football bladder on my leg, and I emptied it hastily. I will now turn on the oven to make some chips to go with bacon sandwiches. I hope Jane doesn’t read this. Har-har!
I hope to be back to catch up in the morning.

Well, that didn’t happen!
I slept for about seven hours when Carer Chris woke me up.
I’ll explain if I ever get a blog done tomorrow.
I’m finishing this because of whatever it was that made me; I just could not get out of bed for hours and hours! About 12:00hrs. It’s Saturday now, 15:00hrs and I’ve only just got up to start to finish this blog, let alone make a start on tomorrow’s WordPress blog. Back to Friday…

Evening photo.

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TTFNski

Wuggabugger Inchy: Thursday 19th September 2024

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After a wonderful night’s sleep of about an hour, the Fire Alarm went off. Oh, I am a fool. I’ve already written about the alarm in yesterday’s blog. At the time of starting this writing (15:20 hrs), I’ve already dealt with some of the expected visitors. And must now find the stamina and desire to continue until the last callers arrives. Only the cardiac murmur nurses left to arrive. Then maybe, I think, the TV Bailiffs may come. ‘At any hour of any day’, as they put it in their letter. Mind you, I also forgot about Window Cleaner Joe coming today. Talk about being confused… well, you weren’t, but I was. Haha!
I had so many people calling and ringing up throughout the day. I think Concentration Conrad enjoyed it.
I’ll have to do another quick job. I don’t know when the Nurses will arrive, so I’ll get on with the photos. I fang You!

The urine was not so dark, but then again, I got woken up by the alarm, and I ferreted around each room to find the cause. So it was like a morning exercise for me. No luck—HAHAHA! No luck, as if I needed to tell you that!
Got the ablutions tended to. No chance of getting back to sleep… sleep? Sleep? Oh, yes, I remember it now.

Oh! Nothing has moved all day yet.

Then Window Cleaner Joe arrived. I opened the door, and the moment I saw him, I remembered that he was due today. Tsk!

Carer Christopher arrived. It got me medicated, and the diabetic sock is on for me. I told him of my struggle last night to get the lid off the beetroot jar. Carer Israel called, and he took of the cap without any bother. I can remember the times when everyone would bring such problems to me to solve. Things change.

I started working on yesterday’s blog update, which I was still working on hours later when Carer Kimberley visited. I asked her if she could call the nurses to order more day and night catheter bags, impressing the short-leg version, and ask for some of the muslin pouches if available. I gave her the wrong number; Kara used to sort everything out. Kimberley, but no one has told her, and I couldn’t advise her. They told her to ring a number. But she didn’t have time. I thought she was doing the Health & Bank (Not that she can, until Kara swaps the names with the bank). Kimberley said she’d ring them later. Thank you, gal.

I’m back on the blog, but with all the Catheter and Bank problems, along with worrying about the nurses and the TV License team calling, concentration was minimal.

The Deep Vein Thrombosis nurse came next; she was in and out quickly, taking my best pen with her! Took blood and my pen! Hehehe!

Then, the Iceland order arrived.
Four items were substituted.
One of them was the mini-plum top mates. They’d substituted a pack of four heavy, underripe tomatoes bigger than golfballs. They were that heavy, which indicates little juice but plenty of flesh… I took care not to drop any when putting them away. They would probably break a toe if they landed on my foot. Good job. I’ll get a drill and hacksaw. (Sarcasm)
I did get ready and microwaveable beef meals in rich stout gravy. I’m having one tonight if I ever get the unstarted blog done. Head spinning, I sorted the other stuff out.
After jiggling the products to make room for them, I got the bread into the freezer.

The Cardiac Nurses arrived. I greeted them with a smile and Good evening. They got me on the bed, stripped my top half, and set up the worryingly technical-looking scanner system. It only took about 40 minutes, and it was all done. I had to keep silent and not move during the process. Me! Not talk or move for all that time! shook a bit, and they had to start again. I may have sulked a little when they told me off for moving. Haha!

The print-out must have been 6ft long on the machine. The nurse with the lovely stubby legs said they do not do analysis; that’s done at the hospital. I will get the results tomorrow. They were kind enough to take a nibble and drinkie. I love to thank them that bit special.

1710:hrs: I’m on with the blogging up to here. But I need food and, even more importantly now, sleep.

Carer Chris kindly didn’t disturb me too much during his last call. He took the socks off, and no medications were needed. I think we had a little natter.

Forced myself to get up and get the belated nosh sorted out.

I did better with the earlier sunset photo, though.

Finally, I got onto the bed for a glorious uninterrupted
7 hours of blissful sleep!
Waking up was the problem. Hehe!

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I got two in twenty minutes. Swim & pool.

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Fare & Fair thee all well!

Intricate Inchy: Wednesday 18th September 2024

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After a three-day test of my IQ & EQ, if I passed, I would be permitted to apply for an interview with UPS at their first opening in the UK at Sandiacre. Each failed testee (one of whom was me) was spoken to and given advice on their best job opportunities elsewhere, which they thought would suit us each. I was the last one to be called into the office. Three men sat at a desk and informed me that my rest results over the three days revealed that I had the lowest IQ ever recorded by any UPS applicant, and they have been doing this method of applicant sorting all over the world for 35 years. The directors of UPS were in the building and asked me if you would mind them having a talk with you? Naturally, I was confused, but I agreed. In walked two men with deep southern American accents and shook my hand? What’s going on here? I said to myself. It didn’t take long to find out, and I was amazed at the same time. The top dog man proclaimed that my EQ was the highest they had ever encountered in the USA and Europe! They handed me the advice print-out sheets, and as they confused me more with their questions, I bluffed my way through the answers, and off they went. Then the English chaps went through the advice with me. The job they recommended to suit my skills (more like lack of) was in the Police Force! Considering that it was donkeys years ago when Nottingham Constabulary would not entertain anyone under 6 feet joining them, how the men hadn’t noticed I was only 5’3″ tall baffled me even further. But a new urgent task took over, and I thanked them and departed. I went to the roof car park, got in my Skoda Estelle, drove home, got in, and got onto my computer to look up what EQ was.
My lack of education caught up with me!
I wandered off of the subject there, sorry!

I’d fallen asleep last night in the c1968, tatty, scruffy, unkempt, uncomfortable, virus, microorganism, bug, bacterium, bacillus, germ, parasite producing, and disease-fermenting second-hand, eyesorely-horrendously grungy beige-coloured, £300, charity shop bought, crumb-retaining, moth-eaten, non-working, itch-encouraging, incommodious, Haemorrhoid Harold testing, catheter tube yanking, recliner.
The nocturnal catheter bag was removed, and I was shocked at the darkness of the urine again. There were little bits of something in the bag, like dried mint or oregano. (The district nurse rang up later to say that the Warfarin DVT blood test showed a deficiency. No idea what it was of. But they would call between 09:00> and 11:00hrs in the morning to take another blood sample from me for urgent testing.) This means that in the morning, I’ll have even less time to complete the blog. It’s 20:00 hrs now, and this is as far as I am with the blog! There is no chance of finishing even this one, let alone starting on tomorrow’s blog!
Why? I’ll tell yers!
1️⃣ Tomorrow, I have a food delivery arriving. A Cardiac nurse or nurses are coming to inspect the mechanical aorta valve in my chest. The community nurse or nurses will come to get another blood sample to test for the deficiency. Someone from the bank will be telephoning me between 10>13:00hrs.
5️⃣ Worst of all, the TV Licensing Enforcement wallahs are coming at an undeclared time of the day about prosecuting me, and no doubt threaten me with the £1000 fine!
How can I get anything done? From now on, I will have to put snaps with comments on them. Sorry.
Oh, Bother! Carer Kimberley said someone may be coming to see me tomorrow. Unbelievable!
Another painful visit.

Shots from the balcony.
Or was it the kitchen?

Waste bags sorted.

Carers Shaquille, Marie, Kimberly, and Israel served me this wonderful Wednesday. It wasn’t, but you can bet it will appear so compared to tomorrow’s football match. I may actually end up with 10 people here at the same time. Hahaha! Scary!

No wash, got on the computer to catch up. But, of course, I just get further behind.

I dropped a handful of paper towels, bent down to retrieve them, and Dizzy Dennis gave me a turn. I didn’t hit the deck because I was lucky enough to clout my head on the heater. Now the new spectacle frame has an arm loose.
Fed Up? Me? YES!

Back on the computer between the Carers calls.

I’m not pleased with this week’s health check figures!

Two unknown what or why photos were taken today.
It beats me! Then, most things do.

I did it again! Put the wrong cream on the wrong ailment.
ARRGH!

Must make summat to eat now.
I may be back, but with my luck,
you never know! Haha!.

I wonder if I’ll ever get time to blog again and onto the WordPress Reader?
I can’t believe so many visitors will call on the same day, and then there are the Caregivers to squash in.

Oh, cobblers! In fact…
Oh, Cobblers!
I can’t get owt to eat, and the Amazon batteries for the keyboard haven’t arrived yet! It’s dark and late, and I’m wee’d off with life’s waywardnesses and difficulties.
Still, Chin-up! I suppose!

Took this snap.

Stayed up until 02:00hrs to get this far on the blog.

Then, I made a meal.
Tasty!
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(Carer Israel came earlier)
Got in the bed and went into the bliss of sleep.
No Thought Storming-Steve, no shocks, no tingles, just sweet peace… For an hour! Then…

Frit me, that did! About 04:00hrs.
I had no option other than to clamber hastily out of bed and hobble around in case of a fire. It was this flat’s alarm, so I looked around everywhere. At one point, the long nocturnal catheter and tube got stuck as I meandered around the flat. Poor Little Inchie took the brunt of the pain as the tube jerked. That was the end of my night’s (Hour-long) sleep.
I stayed up and did my ablutions.
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Cheers!

Aptronym Inchy: Tuesday 17th September 2024

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They like easy targets, a little like Keir Starmer does!
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Uggle-spit! Even writing the name of lying by omission of the Labour Prime Minister. A power-seeking oligarch, top-rating expenses, worker-hating, pensioner despising, and let’s renegotiate with the E.U., Starmer makes me want to puke. Rents, rates, insurance, food and power have or are about to go up, with Keir-the-Pensioner-Killer agreeing to the price increases. Naturally, he doesn’t want to knock the high earners; they are his financial backers from the election. He would not have won if not for the utter ineptitude of the Tory Party in the first place. Shame they kicked Boris out; it’s been downhill for them ever since they did. Yes, he was a bit of Jack-the-Lad, but he knew what the people wanted and needed.
I think I may buy him some clothes for his first anniversary as the UK’s first pensioner-killer? So, now we have to suffer, struggle and die with Starmer’s tax increases and blaming the Tories for everything he puts up, increases, and lines his own pockets backhander-wise, and continues with his lies about the Labour Party’s underhand, misleading schemes, ploys, poisoning of honesty, and plans. Don’t think his self-greediness, covetousness, cruelty, rapacity, pleonexia, and money-grabbing from the poor, others me! I think I may have gotten carried away there. Sorry.

I got up at 06:00hrs. Fumbled my way out of the bed and emptied the nocturnal catheter pouch in the wet room. I decided to get the ablutions done while in there.
Another reversal in the Porcelain Throne evacuation style. Constipation Conrad had returned. What a battle it was!
A mass of concrete meatball-sized content plopped out, so slowly, followed by a few more. Then more. I was well-relieved when they’d finished. As I stood up to clean and wash my rear end, I had to get down on the seat again, sharpish. I went through the agony of the creeping-out meatballs starting again! I’m not happy about this.

I had a stand-up job today. With yesterday’s showering going so well, weighed against my famously rancid good luck, I thought it would be safer. I did the teeth. I took a shave (four little cuts, one bad one). It took me about twenty minutes to medicate. And then I forgot the Acne and Excema cream on the neck. Tsk! Did it later.
I put on David’s multicoloured smock and went to get the kettle on. I was about to take a photo of the late-morning view when the intercom rang. It was the J Sainsbury order that I’d forgotten was coming. No more this week; I’ve got an Iceland order done for next Tuesday, though.

I was pleased to see they had packed the goods into bags today. I got them into the kitchenette and started to pack them away.
The first carrier was a mixed bag: a toothbrush, a bottle of Lloyd Grossman sauce, and a large kitchen towel. I put the bottles of tonic water on the floor with the others. A bigger bag had meat pits, vegetarian slices, a lamb patti, Flora No-Butter, butter, Lemon desserts, tomatoes, and a red onion. Oh, and a Melton Mowery pork pie. Next bag; Jars of meat, pot noodles, pickled beetroot, Korean BBQ sauce (I can’t recall ordering that), a large pot of orange jelly, and cheapo mini cake rolls, cream & strawberry. I felt sure I’d resisted getting them when I was ordering?
The fridge still had room after I’d loaded the fodder into it. That’s unusual, to say the least. I soon found the JS out of stock on some items that would have gone in the fridge or freezer: three Milk Roll loaves, two podded fresh peas, and one spreadable No-Butter butter tub. Ah, well! The main item on the delivery was the ‘Pot-of-Meat’ with jelly. Mmm! I admit it looks disgusting and smells similar too. But it tastes gorgeous! I got three jars in just in case Starmer upsets his backers and puts the price up more… again!

I got on with updating yesterday’s blog. A slow job with all these interruptions that are on the way. Then, for the first time today, kicked off. Very short ones at first.

Carer Richard arrived. He was not in good shape at the end of his shift. His legs were giving him hell. Poor lad. I didn’t ask him to put the diabetic socks on for me. The bending that offers me the Dizzies just gives Richard pure agony! We’ve both got Diabetes, me 2, but Richards are a full-blown level one.
He issued the medications and checked the medical stock.
I must remember today to ask a carer to call the District Nurses so that I can order some more day and night catheter bags... of course, I forgot all about doing so.

were getting more frequent and lasting longer, the odd one seemed a smidge deeper, too. When I arrived, I thought I was in a bit of a state. Verbally and in a sense, I got angry with myself as I tried to ask her to phone the District Nurses about the pouches. It may have come out wrongly. I talked a lot, I couldn’t recall what about?

Carer Chris called.

Amazon orders arrived.
I must cut down on spending!
Chris helped me sort the old-fashioned, dated clock and dare thingy and got it working okay.
The health wristlet arrived.
And the costliest was this Poncho.

Suddenly, I felt so tired.
Had a snack and got my head down.
Zzz.

TTFNski!

Absurdismismistic Inchy: Monday 16th September 2024

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A totally different day today.
Many ailments went on strike.
But not Back-Pain-Brenda, Balance-Bending-Belinda, or Dizzy Dennis. These three made the day as bad as the others with their persistence and Inchy-hating habits!

The night bag of urine was terribly dark again.
The BP was an astonishing 159/75!

As I was taking this pathetic shot of the view…
My innards gave out a blast like I’ve never known before.
I felt sure that a wet, messy evacuation was due.

I was so wrong!
I squatted for what seemed to me an hour, trying to get the evacuation to start. Painfully, too! Nothing!

Started on the blog catching up.
Went to make a brew, and I tried again to take a shot…
Ah, This one was better.

Carer Richard arrived; he was back on the crutch again. He sorted and issued the medications and then checked on the medication stocks.

Blog progress was plodding.

Carer Chloe came. She helped me with the Liberty-Global fibre TV, which I could not get to come on. ‘No Signal’ messages each time I tried. She pointed out what needed doing and wrote it down for tonight. Thanks, Chloe!

My second windy blast extruded from the rear end… I made my way to the Porcelain Throne again. I spent a day or two doing my best, but no action! Gave up again!
Had a wash & shave
and readjusted the day pouch’s bag. I went into a Smug Mode momentarily.
Just look at that on the left. No shaking, no fizzes when I bent down… Incredible as this was, I considered the possibility that I’d snuffed it without realising. Hehehe!

I went back to the computer and used CorelDraw. I got a call from Sister Jane, which was lovely. When I returned to the computer an hour later, Dizzy Dennis was back, joined by Back-Pain-Brenda, and misery overcame me. No depression. I took a painkiller as Brenda was vicious with it now, and as I took the Codeine, Toothache Tiffany put her oar into the equation. Luckily, I had a new pot of the £599.00 per 100 ml Toothache pain relief spray. I didn’t spare any. A good spray was applied to all the offending teeth, and after 15 minutes, the pain lessened to a capable level.

When emptying the catheter day pouch again, the colour concerned me somewhat. As a rule, by midday, the shade gets lighter, but not today.

I wondered, well, hobbled into the balcony for a look around.
It was not raining then, yet a little mudslide appeared at the end of the car park.

I took a snap straight ahead.
I thought I heard the door chime. No one came in, so I grabbed Metal Mickey, the four-pronged walking stick, and approached the front door. Nobody was there, so I returned to the front room…
I discovered that in my haste to get to the door, in case it might have been the TV licencing bullies at the door, I’d knocked over a bottle of partially drunk soda water. The cap had dislodged, and I had a mini-lake sinking into the carpet!
Now, the depression started! I thought the day had started too well for me.
I cursed a little as I dried the carpet as best I could. Another hour of the day lost. Harrumph!

The sun came out momentarily. I grabbed the Kodak, went into the kitchenette, and took what I thought would be a decent photograph of the Sun.
As you can see, I got it wrong again! This new Kodak doesn’t like the sun ashing at it. I can’t find a red-spot reduction option to turn on anywhere in the camera.

Carer Promise arrived. I was looking at clocks with a date, time, and day showing on them when Precious called. I’d just found one that ran on batteries. He said he could set it up for me when he called again. Thanks, mate!
So, I ordered one from Amazon.

I took a break from getting nowhere fast with this blog and took this snap of the left balcony window. It’s not too bad this time.

I looked up what to expect from the enforcement officer’s arrival. This is what I found out. I tried to make a funny graphic as a header for a laugh.

Carer Promise did his last call. He’s off for a few days now. A nice lad.

22:00hrs: Worn out, hoping Toothache Tiffany leaves me alone. I’m going to get summat to eat now.

A cold, no-cooking meal for Inchy tonight.
Vinegar crisps, beetroot, tomatoes, onions, pork loin sarnies with ultra-tasty No-Butter butter.

Followed by a pot of Oikos lemon yoghourt.

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Cheers, Each, thanks.

Abessive Inchy: Sunday 15th September 2024

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BONUS CARTOONS
I LOVE THESE!
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Nocturnal Urine, too dark again.

Must get the quilt washed somehow.

Blue morning.

Constipation this time. Tsk!

The hook slipped off of the shower curtain again this morning. I couldn’t reach up to put it back on.
Another mess, water sprayed all over.

Rain again.

Late nosh. Not so good.

Series of late afternoon shots of the sky.

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We’ve gone beyond reality...
Architectonically…

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TaTa for now
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Plantivorous Inchy: Saturday 14th September 2024

Next to muffin on today’s blog.
I’m sorry, but I also made a good start to the day! I did the header cartoon and accompanying graphics, then got on with the ode. It was a late start due to a messy and bloody visit to the Porcelain Throne. Then, back to the Odeing.
Then, around midday, I found…
I left the tap running and was forced to abandon the blog to get things cleaned and dried where possible.
I spent an estimated four hours cleaning the wet room and the hallway carpet. There are hardly any photos from the day.
When I finally returned to the computer, I nipped to the kitchen to take some snaps. None are very good, but I’ll post them anyway. Worra Day. AGAIN! Sorry!
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A nice full pouch this morning.

First trip to take snaps.

Not unlike noodles.

I made a brew later and took this one.

OF THE WEEK
A work of Farcical-Art to match the best!
I dropped a knife I was using to free the drain in the wet room floor. It got stuck in the siding, so I used the picker-upper to retrieve it. It slipped from the gripper and shot right through the shower curtain, hitting a bottle of bleach, which started leaking. That became my first priority, so I put it in the washing basin and cleaned the spillage using several rolls of kitchen towels. I got the water moving again down the drain. A moment of stupid smugness was short-lived. I went to sort the bleach bottle in the sink and realised I’d left the catheter pouch in their soaking, ready to clean it. It had dissolved into bits in the sink, and the plug-hole was now blocked!
I didn’t cry, despite wanting to!
I turned to get the mop bucket and trod on the knife that had fallen from the floor cabinet where I had left it.
I didn’t cry, despite wanting to!

Cleaning up done.

I took the above, as Carer Christopher returned.

He sorted the medications, checked the catheter, and changed the bag for me. He also had a quick look at the Kodak that was playing up. Thank you!

Late now; going to get some food.
I should be back in the morning,
Very tasty!

Liberty-Global TV was down again!
Still, they have to reduce service so they can pay Mr Fries his total compensation earnings of $62m.
Jealous? Me? YES!

Evening shots.
From the kitchen window.
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TTFNski!