Inchcock Today: Saturday 20th December 2014

06Sat0106Sat02Up at 0220hrs wide awake and spent a few wasted minutes trying to remember the dreams wot I’d had.


Terrible wind this morning, I don’t mean the weather.

The angina was much easier though, and the arthritis not too bad, the fingers especially seemed better this morning.

Started the laptop and poddled down to make a cuppa and had a search for my hearing aids, finding them on tin of baked beans in the kitchen?


Started doing some blogging and Facebooking – I do love it yer know. Someone to communicate with. Then did some graphics for the TFZers.

I even watched a DVD! Not on the computer mind, that still wont let me do that.

I passsed another emission of wind from me rear-end that was possibly me worst one of me life. Corrr…

Made another cuppa and took me medications then titivated myself up and got the things ready for the Nottingham Hospice Charity Shop and set off on me walk to Sherwood with them.

Bit overcast and windy, but it wasn’t a cold wind though.

06Sat03As I got to the top of the hill on Mansfield Road the sky brightened a bit.

I pressed on down the hill and called into the Romanian charity shop near the library and had a potter around. The people who run it are rather nice and sociable.

As I came out there was a dog chained up that was barking I assumed because her owner was in the shop. I spoke gently to her “All right my pet, they wont be long…” She stretched the chain she was on to the limit in her effort to take a chink out of me. Hey-ho!

06Sat05I called in the library to have a see what they had in biography-wise because I’m coming to the end of me Operation Sea-Lion book. Struggled up the steps to the entrance and realised it was closed. Hey-ho again!

After dropping the things off for the Hospice shop I wandered over the road (Carefully) into the Council Estate and took a photo from the top 06Sat04of the hill. It didn’t come out as I expected but still, did me best. At least it showed the size of the estate.

As I turned back onto Mansfield Road I noticed that the Sherwood Manor restaurant and pub were offering lager at £1.99 a pint and had a large poster up to advertise it too.

That’s about $3.10 in American dollars.

I wonder how much the lager is over there?

06Sat06As I started to walk down the first hill towards Carrington I noticed there were a few mobility scooters ahead of me… so I crossed over the road. Better safe than sorry I thought with those dangerous things about.

The sky had started to darken again, but still looked beautiful to me.

Just a few minutes later and a little 06Sat07further down the road, it changed so quickly and looked like this with a hole through the clouds letting through the sunshine from behind.

It became more threatening of rain and darker, but no rain came.

I pressed on up the hill and down the other side and into the Cooperative store to get some of their bread-thins because at the moment they are cheaper than Asda and Tesco are at £1 a pack.

I came out and had gone about six yards when I realised I’d left me bag at the till – I limped urgently as I could back and there it was still on the floor.

I received the often given to me look from the lady behind the counter that said without words spoken: “Silly old bugger!” Hey-ho number three. 

 Out of the shop again on me way to the alleyway into Carrington, but i did not like the look of four youths sat drinking cans of beer of some sort on the bench… so I took the much longer scenic route back to the my flea-pit avoiding contact with them.

06Sat08I got in before the rain started luckily, mind you it wasn’t much only a few drops.

I got me nosh ready to be prepared later and took a photo of it just in case Delia Smith or Gordon Ramsey need any tips like.

Incidentally the ingredient list in Hungry Joe’s BBQ Burgers & Beans is:

Sauce (63%) – Diced Potatoes (25%) – Beef Burgers (10%) – Cheddar Cheese (Milk)

Sauce contains: Water, Onions, Pinto Beans, Tomato, Red Pepper, Celery, Tomato Puree, Brown Sugar, White Sugar, Malt, Vinegar (Barley), Chipotle Mash, Modified Maize Starch, Smoked Paprika, Garlic Puree, Rapeseed Oil, Caramelised Sugar Syrup, Salt, Pimento, Cumin, Yeast Extract, Oregano, Black Pepper
Diced Potatoes contain: Potatoes, Sunflower Oil, Wheat Flour, Salt, Modified Potato Starch, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Yeast Extract, Spice Extracts, Dextrose

Mini Beef Burgers contains: Beef (90%), Beef Fat, Seasoning, Onion, Tomato Paste, Brown Sugar, Soy Protein, Rusk

Chipotle Mash contains: Chipotle Mash, Preservative (Acetic Acid)

Seasoning contains: Pea Starch, Dried Glucose Syrup, Dextrose, Onion Powder, Flavouring, Spices, Salt, Yeast Extract, Spice Extracts

Rusk Contains: Fortified Wheat Flour (Wheat Flour, Calcium Carbonate, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin), Salt.

Nutritionist please: Is that good?

You may wonder why I had the packet of Suet Pellets and bird seed that I feed me mallards and pigeons with included in the photograph?

So do I!

Inchcock Today: Friday 19th December 2014

Awake at 0250hrs. Feeling like I’d had no sleep at all and still tired?

I laid there again trying to reclaim the dreams I’d had without any success at all this time.

The angina seemed easier at this point, crossing fingers here.


05F01I started the laptop and went down and put the kettle on – sorted the rubbish and bags for the Refuge Containment Operatives to collect later. The rain was a’raining and the wind a’blowing, but it wasn’t cold at all.

I managed to trip up the doorstep coming back in… I believe I may have uttered an expletive of a parentage questioning nature. The tiny scratch on me shin bled away to its hearts content. Took a while but it stopped after a few minutes. I hoped my INR Warfarin level was alright.

Back up to the laptop with me newly brewed cuppa.


BT Internet connection working okay. Coreldraw messy and crashing with differing results to normal and not saving again. Tsk!

Started this Diary around 0325hrs.

Did some graphics and blogging.

Made another cuppa and took me tablets. Rubbed in some extra Permethrin cream today.

Got myself spit and polished – teggies bleeding now… huh!

Set off on me walk into the City Centre. Bit of drizzle and windy, but not cold with it today. Mind you I wus listening t’radio as I got ready and possible freezing tonight given out.

05F02crossing2The walk through town was easy enough, not many folks about yet, although the cyclists on the pavements were there again.

I plodded on and called in Sainsburys to get a loaf for the mallards on the canal.

Then up the road to take a picture of Carrington Street from the same view as the ones I posted a facebook from 1919 – 2003 and 2013, some changes made. I’ll post it later on the Troll Free Zone I think.

I ambled down to the canal to feed the mallards…

There were no mallards…

There were no pigeons either!

05F03bargeVery weird this – the only birds in sight were those illegal immigrants the sea-birds!

So I took a photograph of a barge on the canal where the mallards should have been?

See? No mallards or any other birds around the canal this morning?

The barge was named ‘The Slow Couch’ – I was careful not to wake the occupants who were obviously late risers.

05F04signI risked the now numerous mad mobility scooter drivers dodging all over the place and walked towards town.

En route I saw a Nottingham City Council sign for Nottingham Markets. It told me Bulwell market was open today. So I thought I’d catch a bus there and feed the mallards on the river Leen being as the Canal ones had seemingly abscondicated. (Is that a word? Well I like it anyway)

05F05ostrichI got me bus-pass ready and made for the Bulwell bus-stop. Stopping on the way to take a picture of the stall just opening that was selling Ostrich, Kangaroo and Beef burgers at £3.50 ($5.49) each. The lady there had some early customers too!

I pressed on and caught the number 17 bus into Bulwell.

Yet another interesting, during the trip I an old Asian guy sat next to me, but he didn’t want to talk when I asked him how he was keeping. He only travelled for a couple of stops and got off.

Then a young lady got on and sat next to me and dropped her mobile phone. She alighted the bus and an elderly lady got on and sat next to me. I asked her how she was keeping? She informed me that she was well, but rather deaf so best if I stop speaking to her.

I dropped off at Tesco and went in to have a look see if they had any French Horns in stock.

My first visit to this large Tesco branch. I had to get a trolley first then travel with it up an escalator into the actual store.

05F05TescoI had a poddle around and came to the bread sections where I investigated the bread thins.

Mmmm… while searching for the ones with the longest shelf life on them I came across a packet marked sell-by 10th December! they even put Lidl and Asda to shame with that!

I placed that pack with a 22 December sell-by one and took a photo of em on the shelf! Needless to say which one I purchased.

I got some crispy bacon, ice lollies, olive-oil and butter spread and a pack of honey flavoured yogurts. I know how to live yer know!

05F06BulwellI hobbled down to the ground floor and waddled up into Bulwell Market as the Nottingham City Council sign in the city centre suggested.

It was very sparsely being used and the folk again didn’t seem happy at all?

Perhaps it was the wind?

I made me way to the River Leed and saw a newspaper vender’s sign: Three Men Arrested! So I bought a copy, it read:

Three men have been arrested after an altercation in Bulwell during which a man suffered a stab wound. Two people were taken to hospital following the incident, on Thursday morning. The trio were arrested in connection with a public order offence. There was a heavy police presence on the estate in the morning, with seven police vehicles, including a riot van, attending the scene.

05F07pigeonsAnother reason for them not to be happy?

When I arrived at the river, the mallards and pigeons greeted me as usual – but within seconds they all flew away? Another strange occurrence!

Perhaps there was a Peregrine Falcon about? But that doesn’t match with the canal mallards being absent? Mmmm!

05F08boughtI made my way to the bus station and caught one back to Carrington.

Got in and started the laptop.


Made a brew and put me things away.

Had curried beans and Pork loin sandwiches, a lolly and mousse and updated this diary.

Tried to watch a DVD…

Foster Parents needed for Nottingham Boy – 2nd Appeal


Dr Uppopo Smyth-Robinson, MRCPsych, FRCPsych

Nottingham Social Service’s Manager Dr Uppopo Smyth-Robinson, MRCPsych, FRCPsych has pleaded with us to republish this old (updated information in Red Ink) appeal to find Foster Parents, Adoption parents, anyone really, who is willing to take this Nottingham Lad into their hearts and home.

The many letters of support we have received from the care workers employed by Dr Uppopo Smyth-Robinson, MRCPsych, FRCPsych begging us to help has touched our own hearts, and we agreed to go to WordPress with it.

Dr Uppopo Smyth-Robinson came into the office to plead his case:

I’m afraid this gentle genitally challenged child is causing too many problems at the home, and my staff members are suffering in many ways trying to cope with him.

I fear for the sanity and health of my staff.

Every day they beg me for good news on his adoption status, and every day I have to tell them ‘No… We still haven’t had any inquiries’ from anyone or anywhere.

When I tell them this and they break-down into pitiable tears and let rent with curses, pulling their hair and wailing, it hurts me so to see this.

Since we first put out this appeal over a year ago, Inchcock’s circumstances have changed and so the team got together and amended the facts and figures on the appeal in the hope that this may touch someone’s heart and encourage them to consider at least, to adopt this Nottingham lad.

My staff members (those who have not left the job) are at this moment having a collection and organising fund raising activities to raise some cash for any person who is willing to take Inchcock off our hands.

I have written the changes in Inchcocks status in red ink… please please I beg of you… publish this second appeal… please…

Foster Parents needed for Nottingham Boy, can you help?


Advertised in the Nottingham Evening Post, this surely explains why we need to apply ourselves and provide the resources to cater for our young children?

Nottingham Council’s Adoption Agency

Nottinghamshire Council provides a range of services to look after children and aims to provide quality foster care placements to meet each child’s individual needs in respect of race, culture, religion, disability and language.

Can you offer a home to this young person?


Name: Juan Inchcock.

D.O.B.: 27 August 1946

Nationality: White, British. (We think)

But we are not racist and point out that any denomination of Christian Faith, Muslim, UKIP, Alien or insanitary personages are allowed to apply to adopt this Nottingham lad! PLEASE!

Currently Being cared for by: Local muggers, and the NHS.


* Survived double pneumonia at the age of 3

* Brought up by his father. Very little education received. No etiquette, decorum, deportment, or finesse installed.

* Mother on the run from the police 1950-51 – 1954-1955 – 1956-62

* Loved sports, but was totally useless at them.

* Went bald at 23 years of age.

* Worked for 50 years, in the Retail, Military, Security, and Gas lamp lighting trades – made redundant four times through no fault of his own.

* Broke eleven bones, crushed his right thumb, had a hernia repaired, cancer of the bladder lasered, duodenal ulcer, went deaf, needs three levels of spectacles, contracted Angina, Aorta heart valve replacement, Arthritis in knees and hands, his Reflux valve sticking, Kidney infection and chronically depressed .

* After his cardiac procedures were carried out, he started writing for the Spoof Website, and started his own blog site. Unfortunately, he gets confused at times, and started posting to the wrong site in mistake for the other.

* Then he contracted Arthritis, and Impetigo, currently being treated.

* Inchcock has been fitted with new teeth

* Inchcock has been supplied with new prescription spectacles

The above two items should help him to make less mess when eating and toileting, thus making the any adoptive parents life a little less hazardous!

Medical care required:

He will have to attend a blood test, and await dosage recommendations for the Warfarin tablets he is on weekly if not daily according to results. He has a bus-pass, so you will not need to run him about; he is capable of hobbling to and from the medical appointment as necessary. The other 16 daily medications he is on, will require you to make sure he takes them in order and to the correct dosage:

* Codeine Phosphate as required

* Furosemide 40mg – one each morning

* Lactulose – three x 5ml spoonsful three times a day

* Bisoprolol (Beta Blockers) 25mg – one each morning

* Omeprazole 20mg – one each morning

* Iboprofen Gel – to be applied to the arthritic knees and hands when required.

* Ramipril 5mg – One in AM, one in PM

* Zocor 15mg – One in the evening

* Simvastin 40mg – One in the evening

* Otomise Spray – apply in ears three times a day

* Vitamin B Complex – one a day

* Glyceryl Trinitrate – 600mcg as required not more than two at a time though.

Plus of course, the specified dose of Warfarin for the day, at night.

In the event of the rare dizzy spells attacking Juan, leave him on the floor until he feels he can get up again.

The Nottingham Social Services Department Manager Dr Uppopo Smyth-Robinson points out that legal representation in the event of any adoptive parents getting the medications wrong would be supplied free of charge by Councillor and lawyer Shirley Blamey. 

Personal Traits:

Potty Training:

Originally fully potty trained, but Juan’s memory is getting worse, and this can cause the occasional problem. (Especially now he is on Water Tablets)

Sometimes the busy staff at the Care Home just leave Inchcock on his commode for the day. As long as you leave his laptop with internet connection supplies, he is quite happy with this!


Juan will eat anything not too rich. He has become accustomed since being made redundant, then retiring to living on Asda Smartprice, and Pound Shop products, and you will find these good value… crap!… but good value, and they will suffice for Juan.

Emissions of wind from his anus:

Possibly a by-product of his medications, be warned that after he had laser treatment, he is unaware of any build-up of gases, and they tend to burst out painfully, for him, and anyone in his vicinity.

Gas-masks can and will be provided free of charge at the adoptive parents request.

His Nature:

He is an easy going boy, who likes to feed the pigeons and ducks.

It is essential that you supply an internet connection for him, so he can continue to present crap like this on his blog website, as he is thoroughly addicted.

Do you feel you can help?

Anyone who feels they can take on Juan as foster parents, or adopt him, please send your application in to us, along with a Doctor’s, or Psychologist’s Sanity letter with confirmation of your mental condition.

The above restriction no longer applies.

Inchcock Today: Thursday 18th December 2014

040therm0300hrs up and tending to WC demands. (As jazz vocalist Mel Tormé recorded in 1960 – ‘Just in time’)

Amazingly I found notes scribbled about a dream I’d had and also remembered about the Boot’s optician appointment at 1100hrs today!

I could remember little bit of scenes if that’s the word from the dream:

I was in the back of a car a Ford Corsair… with an old boss from my Tesco days Mr Wynera driving and laughing maniacally and he kept offering me a Rothman’s cigarette telling me to use the tobacco in my pipe?

Then I was at a fairground somewhere that was flooded and everyone was going around in boats, dingies etc. And everyone seemed intent on throwing darts at me, or trying to scoop me up off my raft with giant hooks?

Then I was bundling firewood at a bench – now in my young days I did have a job doing this, but in the dream everything was clean, no dust no splinters and somewhere in the background was a stage with Helen Shapiro singing “Walking back to happiness” and winking at me?

04th02Then I was turning the knobs on a Rediffusion radio receiver and fists kept coming out of it and belting me in the face for a time, then voices started to insult me.

That’s all I can recall at the moment, and I had to use the notes to remember those bits. But I can’t remember writing the notes on a kitchen towel drum?

Ah-well onward.

Started the laptop and made a cuppa.


The angina seems to have eased at last… but I’ll see how it goes. The arthritis is still bothersome this morning.

Summat’s going on, I can hear the police helicopter and see the reflections from its searchlight coming through the window. Hope they catch ’em!

Took me medications, passed wind and utilised the WC.

Did some Facebooking and blog reading then got myself ready for  the walk to the Boot’s opticians – that is as soon as I’d found me bus-pass so I don’t have to walk back from town.


The missing Police ARV

Where did find them you ask? (Or not like) On the top of me stack of medications.

I walked onto Mansfield Road and towards town. At the junction of Hucknall Road I heard a klaxon of an approaching emergency vehicle of some sort, and thought I’d get me catch out to catch a photo of it…

 No chance, it was the new Police ARV SUV and before I could take it, it had threaded its way through the traffic and was off.


Mansfield Road into Nottingham – Oddly little vehicular traffic about?

I plodded on up the hill without too much bother as the knees were not so bad or the angina this morning.

As I walked over the brow of the hill I was so amazed at the lack of vehicular traffic I took a photo down the hill into town. (Not that I carried a photo down the hill like yer know, it were the view down the hill which I should have said in the first place and saved missen all this typing like).

I walked through the upper level of Victoria Centre and at a Man’s Man shop I spotted a make-your-own-old-fashioned Radio Receiver Kit in the window on sale – this prompted me to remember I had not yet got anything for me Sister Jane and Brother-in-law Pete present-wise.


Jane’s Gift Voucher and Pete’s Radio Kit

So I called in and got one for him. He loves doing things like that and I hope he’ll be tickle him pink with it… or not like.

Then I went to the Next shop that Jane uses and likes an bought a £5000 gift voucher so she an at her leisure and choose something. (Oh, the noughts must have stuck sorry… it was a £50 gift voucher Hehehe)


A sparse shopping mall earlier today

I left the centre well pleased with myself and on the way out took a photograph of the pathetic Christmas tree in the mall – and the few people in it, very sparse. Mind you when I came back later it was well packed.

Some people eh… they just do not want to gerrup in a mornin’!


Decent mix of Nottingham buses for our friends in America, Australia and Canada to see

As I crossed the bridge across Upper Parliament Street I took a photo of the buses in the traffic. Mainly for our American, Australian and Canadian friends because I know some of them think out buses are cute.

I pressed on through town towards the opticians and heard a bloke asking someone where Nottingham Castle is – I interrupted telling the bloke to follow me. But he had a job walking that slow. So I took him on to the bottom of Friar Lane where the Castle could be seen from and pointed it out to him, warning him of the £5 charge to get in.

He never not even thanked me – Tsk!

Still a tad early, my logical brain had told me to take a book with me. Cunning eh?

They sat me down and I read me Operation Sea Lion book for a bit, then a lady came to take some details and I returnedt o me book.

After a while the opthalmist chappie came and took me into a room to check me eyes. He did a thoruogh job and i was in there for an our and a half.

When I came out a lady took me over to the frames to pick a couple of pairs – this i did in about 30 seonds and handed them to her. Amazed she said she had never known any customer to choose so quickly. I joked “At my time of life and in medical condition it’s best not to hang about M’am. The poor thing didn’t know whether to laugh or not despite the big grin on me face.

“Which one’s would you like for your reading glasses?” she asked.

“Not bothered, you choose please.” I answered.

“Well the lighter ones might be best for you long distance and everyday wear?”

“Smashing idea, thanks we’ll go for them then”

I liked this woman, she was learning quick cause she grew a big smile too.

She said it normally takes a week for them to come back, but may take longer as a weeks time is the holidays.

“Fair enough, if I’m still alive can yer send me a letter when they come in please. She said she would. Bless her.

Then it came to the payment ans she said “That will be £159 please”

“Oh” I joked “Yer want paying then?”

She’d got the hang of me by now and replied.


Gorgeous aromas came from the food stalls guarded by CPOs

“Best if you do in case you drop off before they’re ready!”

As I said before, I was taken by this gal.

I decided to take a walk back to Tesco in the Victoria centre to get some French Horns that they had ran out of yesterday.

As I was walking through the Slab square the smells of different cooking at the fairly busy Winter Wonderland stall was very appealing, but I resisted the temptation to try any.


And the time is…

I noted the time on Little John (As opposed to Big Ben in London) as I passed an lurched onward towards Tesco in the Victoria Centre yet again.

On the way up the very busy (pedestrian-wise) King Street, a bloke nearly knocked me over bless him. He (like so many other folk in the town) was concentratin on hos mobile phone. But at least this chap stopped and showed a bit of concern for me ‘ealth.

The arthritis was getting a bit bothersome now, as I traipsed into the centre and wearily struggled though the now heavily congested crowds. It took me ages to get to the other end avoiding getting injured by the once again seemingly unhappy mob of shoppers.

I never thought I’d be nervous just trying to walk in a crowd, but there you are, yer can’t avoid ageing yer know.

There were a good few mobility scooters threateningly lurking, but no bother today thank heavens.

Eventually I got to Tesco and made straight for the Cream Horns, they had some in stock today and I snaffled a pack of two and had a walk around safe in the knowledge that I could treat missen tonight. (Smug mode adopted)

I also got some bread, polish ham and a Krakoswka roasted pork loin joint that had a sell-by-date of January 3rd on it, more luxury in the Inchcock kitchen.

I took thee longer route out into the fresh air to avoid the crowds in the mall and went to catch the bus home.

The angina still behaving itself.


My bag and its guilty contents at me feet!

When I got on the bus, I took a photo of me bad and it’s guilty contents at me feet!

Got home and WC’s, started the laptop, put me nosh away and put the presents in a bag for Jane and Pete so I didn’t lose em.

Then I made some Polish ham sandwiches for later and brewed a cuppa for missen.

Only had one dizzy spell (Up to now like) today, that was in Tesco, so not so bad.

Feeling tired again already.

Did some blogging Facebooking and checked me emails.

Going to post this early, because I’m weary.

If owt happens I’ll add it to me Friday’s Diary.

Cheers all… 

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 17th December 2014

0301thermWednesday 17th December

Sprang awake at 0250hrs.

Angina still bothersome too.



Graphic wot I dun to explain the only bit of the dream I could remember

Again I could remember wanting to remember a dream but could not remember much – only corridors and passages with me being lost with my shopping bags. I’m sure there was much more to the nightmare but… no real memory?

Made a cuppa and started laptop.

No internet connection again, so I restarted the laptop… got message 32Fat is unstable – checking. Or something like that, went through and opened alright with internet connection back on?


Did some blogging and Facebooking.

Another cuppa and took me medications.

Got myself ready to go out with the intention of going to Derby and feeding the dicky-birds…


Putting me glasses (Spectacles) on and the left lense fell out! It took me an hour to find it. Kept it safe in glasses box with the damaged frame – then spent another hour looking for me old glasses to wear on me journey.

So, rearranged me plans for the day and set off on me walk into town… that turned into a bus ride into town on account of the wet rain like.

Another interesting bus ride it was too.

The single decker bus was crammed with passengers like sardines in a can. There was hardly room to move let alone any seats. And when the poor devils who wanted to get off at stops the poor devils who were stood hanging on for life to the bars had to shuffle off and back on the bus to allow them to get off!

I laughed on about the third time this happened and a woman asked me “If I thought it was funny?” I replied “Well it’s certainly an interesting ride isn’t it?” She was not impressed and grumpft at me.



Depressing view I thought

When I got off the bus in town and walked down towards the City centre, the view demanded a photo from me.

Most suitable I thought for how I felt at that moment… Sparse, barren, dark, dank, wet and depressed. Tsk!



View of Nottingham Slab Square today

I pressed on and down into the slab square, where the lights on the Winter-Wonderland Festival showed up brightly in the dark wet weather.

It would have been about 1100hrs I imagine then, but still the light of day did not appear – the gloom won in more than one way to me.

I walked up Friar Lane to the Boots 0303bootsOpticians shop and explained my problem to the lady there.

She took the glasses off of me and said she’s be a few minutes, take a seat. I preferred to stand in case me knees froze up and took a look through the frames on display on the walls.

A few minutes later she returned and explained: As she was taking the spectacles out of the case – one of the nose supports dropped off! Have you any shopping to do?

I’m got to go to the bank?

See you later then.

Thank you.

As I left the shop and wandered down towards the bank I pondered, what next?

In two days I’ve broken a tooth, cut me tongue, the Angina is bad, me dizzy-spells are back, lost me glasses lense and now had to get a new nose thingy replacement?

The dentists next month, my slippers have split, my picker has broken…

As I said before, Hey-ho!.

So I sorted things at the bank and returned to the opticians. Collected me repaired spec’s and made an appointment to 1100hrs in the morning to have me eyes tested.

I was getting more depressed although I couldn’t figure out why as the day went on.


More spending by Inchcock – Tsk!

I poddled up into Victoria Centre to the cheapo shop and got another 4 for a pound Lion Bars – fatal again for me wallet that. Because the shop was opposite the HMV shop and I veered across to foolishly look at the DVDs on offer. They had an interesting looking film with Stallone and  Schwarzenegger called ‘Escape Plan’ It was in the 2 for a pound display so I got another ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ with Ben Stiller.

Then I went into Tesco to get some Cream Horns that I’m addicted to… but they didn’t have any…. Sob! Boo!. I asked an assistant and he went to have a look if they had any in stock and came back with a negative answer. But it was nice of someone to try innit?

I should have just left… well I did… but not until I purchased two different cream cakes to take with me – No Willpower at all me! Tsk, huh and blabberpinkles!


Anti-social Scum-free Street today! Yippee!

Ashamed of spending too much again, I made my way to the bus-stop and dropped off on Hucknall Road.

Walked up the hill and turned right into my road and it hit me: (Pleasantly) There were no apprentice yobs in view! Perhaps the rain had put them off?

Who knows…

Got in, made a cuppa and updated this Diary.

Tried to watch a DVD… gave up when I kept falling asleep.

Must remember the opticians appointment in the morning!

Inchcock Today: Tuesday 16th December 2014

02Tthermo02T01I stirred passing wind violently (that was a funny feeling) and laid there a while once again trying to remember the dreams I knew I’d had, but without any success.

Giving up on that, I checked the haemorrhoid situation and tended to them.

Little Inchy sore, but again absolutely no blood – I think things should be okay in that department now.

Started the laptop and made a cuppa.


Inchcock’s Launderette – conveniently sited next to the Chemist he frequents

Posted on Inchcock blog and did some Facebooking. Coreldraw9 crashed twice!Got myself scrubbed up, then got the laundry things ready – two flaming great bags full!

I struggled to carry them to the launderette. They had got a new bigger washing machine installed that took all my washing in one go.


Griselda and Mandy

It cost £6.90 mind, and tool a bit longer to perform its procedure, but the washing was well spun at the end.

I gave the girls some nibbles and a box of chocolates for Christmas, as they were ironing in the back room and took their photograph. It didn’t come out too bad.

I’m still confused by the ‘brackets’ and symboles that appear on the screen of the new camera when viewing, and for some reason it failed to take the photos a few times?

Technology and me go together like Miliband and Farage.


Papplewick Pumping Station

Bill John said he was hoping to go to the Papplewick Pumping Station over the holidays and asked if I’d like to go with him.

Many thanks and please I replied.

Then he offered to take me shopping after we had done at the launderette.

Damnably decent of him.

I said my farewells to the gals in the laundry and set of for Asda in big Johns car. I could tell the girls were sad to see me leave because they ignored me.

02T03bWe arrived at Asda’s car park, and I could not help but be impresses with the gloom ridden shoppers ability to look tired, threatening and irritable all at the same time.

Nervously I hobbled round, the angina playing up nastily now.

Got some Bitter orange drinks, cooked chicken drumsticks, cheese curls, Raspberry ripple mousse, Cox’s apples and bleach.

Enjoyed a good  chin-wag with Big John on the way round – paid and out into the car park.

The people around still seemed gloomy to me?

02T03Big John put the stuff in the boot, and along with the washing in the back of the car ran me to my front door and even carried the goods to the door for me as he knew I was struggling with the angina.

I thanked him and off he shot.

I then visited the WC.

Took the washing upstairs… one bag at a time mind… I have not desire to go tumbling backwards down the stairs again thankyou very much.

Put the togs away and went downstairs (Still carefully as I was struggling a tad with the breathing then), and put the goods away that I’d bought.

Went up and started the laptop.


Made a cuppa, then had a good time searching for my reading glasses. Any guesses where they were?

I ate one of the Cox’s apples… and boing! One of me front lower teggies broke!

Ah well, I’m due to see the dentist in January.

I continued to eat the apple while on the laptop and hey-ho cut me tongue on the tooth!

Must take care… how I’m going to suck me chicken drumsticks later I don’t know.


Not in the best frame of mind and feeling a little nervous I soon nodded off.

Inchcock’s Christmas Speech to the Nation

My Lords and Members of the House of Commons and Nottingham Big Issue Sellers, Shoplifters, Muggers, Burglars, Benefit Cheats, Alcoholics, Nottingham City Council Members, and Anti-Social Trainee Criminals.

I wish you all a very happy Christmas.

I feel sure the Government I didn’t vote for will strengthen the economy and provide stability and security, and ministers will continue to reduce the country’s deficit, helping to ensure that mortgage and interest rates remain low.

Q02This past year has been one of great celebration for many of my enemies.

May they receive their just rewards when they pass onto the Fiddling Liars Parliament in the great Sky.

I’m sure the politician’s God does appreciate the good works and their conscientious contributions on his behalf over the year of 2014.


I’d like to thank especially the Nottingham City Homes people for refusing to permit me a sheltered housing dwelling when I was mugged for the second time this year. And may you rot painfully slowly and publicly in hot stale urine and strong bleach.

To the spoilt apprentice muggers who have hounded and threatened me earlier this year I wish all the best in health, luck and death.

Q01And the best of ill-fate for the three mobility scooter drivers who have ran into me this year.

The one who produced the two finger salute to me as he shot off after running into the back of me outside Victoria Centre a special card.

The Snotty one who also came at me from behind on Mansfield Road, and the woman who didn’t even know she’d knocked me over in Derby near the bus-station.

I hope this will be a horrible Christmas for you all.

To the wonderful deaf and arrogant Indian and French speaking people at BT Internet, I have to admire how close you have come to being as reliable and trustworthy as Britain’s politicians. Well done you temerate nerds!

Q03To the Asda Customer Service counter assistants. I hope you get your hearing back soon.

To the staff at the G.U.M. clinic, a big thank you for taking only 16 weeks to clear up the bleeding lesion on my ‘Little Inch’.

To the staff at the Cooperative Bank… I’m sorry, but I offer you a heartfelt thank you and I appreciate all your help.

And for the folk who never get off their mobiles and speak at the same decibels as a formula one car taking a corner GC Jamas01at speed – shaddup!

To my GP, Dr Vindla my appreciation of your skills in keeping my body going for yet another year.

I realise that my mind is beyond help and that the short term memory refuses to work at times, a bit like one’s laptop – it freezers regularly.

Many thanks to the many cyclists on the pavement who come belting passed me and scaring me half to death. If you are too scared to cycle on the road, you shouldn’t be on a bike in the first place. Scum-balls!

Q03And for the Nottingham Constabulary, a card I’m sending to the Leicester Constabulary in appreciation of the Leicester Constabulary actually trying to do something about the cyclists riding on the pavements of Leicester as opposed to the Nottingham Constabulary who do nothing about the cyclists of Nottingham riding on the pavements.

Mind you, there has been a 40% reduction in real Police Officers on the beat in Nottingham, I cannot say about Leicester.

One also hopes that the coming year of 2015 and the future hold forth hopes of reinstatement of human kindness, understanding, compassion and community spirit. Huh!

Inchcock Today: Monday 15th December 2014

 Monday 15th December 2014

01Mon01Up at 0315hrs.


Really annoyed at not being able to recall dreams yet again. I woke up a few times and repeated to myself what I had just dreamt of in an effort to remember later to put it in this diary because I thought them so weird they should go in this diary… no such luck, the mind was blank – then again the missus used to know that fifty years ago.

Started laptop.

Down and made a cuppa, back up to start this Diary.


Great news from the lower regions… not a single drop of blood from ‘Little Inchy’ And the lesions are healing a lot better now! Just thought I’d mention it like… by way of a desperate effort to find summat positive to write about to ease the gloom a tad. Hehehe!

Another cuppa was brewed.

Yesterday’s Diary finished and posted.

Another cuppa brewed and mediations taken.

Got a bit carried away with graphicastionalising and somehow thought it was 0930hrs when I’d finished abluting and was ready to go out. I even waited a while to make sure I wasn’t going to get on the bus in the pensions-panic-period of between 0930 and 1000hrs when the bus fills-up with us old foggies using out bus-passes.

When I arrived at the bus-stop, the time on the read-out thingy was 1035hrs – hmm, I lost an hour somewhere there?

I Caught the bus to town, then another one out to the Queens Medical Centre.

01Mon02The sky over the Medical Centre when I arrived was so beautiful I took a photo of it from the front entrance.

Being a tad later than planned to arrive (By an hour – Tsk) the haematology dep’t waiting area was like a football match crowd.

Still it didn’t really matter, so I got out me book and delved into it.

Eventually my number was called and I hobbled into the blood room. The nurses greeted me with affection and a smile – nothing to do with my promising them some extra treats for Christmas last week. I’m sure the reason for their jollity was the arrival of my magnetic personality?

They were soon delving into the carrier bag to pick their favourites before I left. The big box of biscuits extra was in for a bashing I suspect too.

Bless em, someone has to prove their value and worth, I’m proud I did.

I took me leave and walked to the bus-stop for the bus to town.

01Mon03Next to the stop was some railings that fenced off some trees and grass, this was where i had a dizzy turn and leant against the railing for a moment until it cleared. I noticed the amount of things that had been thrown over or through the railings.

Food and drink containers mostly, but there were some cigarette packets and other bits deposited there was well – Nottingham the cleanest city in the  UK? Huh!

I caught a Broad Marsh bus as opposed to a City bound one, so I could go in the 99p shop to see if they had any of the meal-worm pellets for me Mallards.

I got off at the bus-station and saw three women having a hell of an argument… but being a natural born coward that I am, I didn’t take any photographs like!

I walked into the centre and up the escalator to the 99p shop.

They didn’t have any of the pellets, but I did get another pair (the last on the shelves) of the headphone’s like the one  got last week, because they worked okay. But they are delicate and I feel sure it is only a matter of time before I break them. Usually by my falling asleep with them on. It has been known several times in the past you know?

Then I poddled along towards the bus stop far end of town, passing a Pound Shop and thought it would be a jolly good idea to call in to see if they had any of the meal-worm pellets.

Unfortunately they had their pet section up the stairs.

Undaunted I slowly and carefully mounted the steps and found they had got some, so I got some.

Pleased with this, but not with how my knees reacted to going up and down the stairs, I paid and made my way to the bus stop.

01Mon04I noticed as I limped over Upper Parliament Street that there were not so many people about today, bet it won’t be like this in a day or two?

I walked through Trininty Square and the sky over the little use new food Court caught my eye (Not that I was throwing it like) and I put down me bags to get out me camera.

But me arthritic fingers stuck a bit and somehow the camers tool a few photos on its own before I realised it. (Tsk!)

01Mon05I took a photo of the sparsely populated new £3m food court anyway cause the sky appealed.

Then I hobbled down Trinity Walk to the bus-stop for Carrington.

When I got in, I took me things out of the bag made a cuppa and started to update this Diary.

Three photo’s I imported into Coreldraw to resize I did not recognise, in fact two of them were just plain grey – the third was through a window of a lady in a shop?

01Mon07It took me while until I realised these were the one’s taken when my fingers froze in Trinity Square.

Oh dear… I hope the lady didn’t notice? (Red face at the thought of it developing now I can see in the photo that she was showing a bit of flesh off)

I went down to make a cup of char and a leaflet had been posted though the door.


Have you received treatment from Mr Desmond D’Mello at Daybrook Dental practice?

Desmond M’Mello has been suspended by the General Dental Council. It is said that he did not wash his hands or sterilise equipment between patients.

Up to 22,ooo former patients have been recalled for testing of blood-borne viruses.

* If you have been a patient then you are entitled to claim for the worry and stress of having a blood test.

* We are already acting for clients for the stress and worry and will be dealing with cases for HIV, Hepatitis B and C should they arise.

* We work on a No in No Fee basis.

Blah blah blah…

Don’t miss out…..


0800 634 7 7 Call us 24/7

I’m not sure why, but I find these types of leaflets from so called professionals offensive and rather crude.

Just saying like…

Inchcock Today: Sunday 14th December 2014

07St01Sunday 14th December 2014

Stirred into semi-life at 0250hrs – well aware of some of the horrendous dreams I’d been having and made some notes of what I could remember.

Started the laptop and went down into the very cold kitchen and made a cuppa.

Returned and Word would not load until the third attempt oh dear!

Started to get the details down of me dreams as the memories were fading fast.

Within minutes the notes meant nothing with the memory gone. Drat!


Did a graphic from the words I’d noted, but by now they meant little to me.

Shame cause I think the dreams were interesting… scary, but interesting. Ah well

I wish some psychoanalyticalisationalistic person would look into these regular dreams.


Made another cuppa and took me tablets at 0510hrs.

Did some graphics then face-booking.

Made another cuppa.


Eventually forced missen to get up and get ready for me photographicalisationing walk.

When I eventually found me hearing aids, I was ready for the off.

Go on, have a guess where I found em, go on…

  1. 07St02

    Dark dank and foreboding sky again!

    A) On top of the kettle

  2. B) In me slippers
  3. C) In me spectacle case

I hobbled out to the bottom of the street turned right and was welcomed by the view of most unwelcoming sky.

It was dark, dank and foreboding yet again today. And this at about 1130hrs!


Mallards and pigeons – Love em! With a few unkown to me thrown in the feeding frenzy

I poddled on and walked into Arnold.

A long walk, but at least there was only the two Sherwood Hills to climb, the rest of the way was reasonably flat… a bit like my spirits.


Incoming Turbo Mallard – great!

I called into the Arnot Hill Park situated on the old Nottingham Road in one end and out of the other end – but once the Mallard ducks came to me, I got out the bird seed I just happen to have in me bag…

I moved along and at another point fed some more mallards – during which a mallard on the island centre of the pond turbo-paddled towards me at a rate of knots that Donald Campbell would have been proud of!


On this stretch of Front Street there were eleven premises either for sale or rent. Well done Cameron!

His accompanying quacks and phenomenal speed made me think of an incoming torpedo and I think will stay in my mind for a long time. I wish the photo was good enough to enter into some competition, of course it doesn’t show the little mites speed as it actually was.

I don’t know how he stopped himself being banked.

I exited the park and waddled on into Arnold.

A sad and lonely place it looked too.

I popped into Iceland where the kind lady on the till didn’t bother to talk to me at all, but her grunts were melodic.

On to the Fulton Food shop, where I failed to get any of the Blackcurrant and ice-cream lollies I was seeking, but did get some biscuits and a small bottle of vinegar. Oh, and this young ladies gave far less grunts than from the Iceland lady in Arnold, but there were far more effective ‘You old git’ glares from this one.

I decided to go and try the Fulton’s store in Bulwell and I joined the few people waiting of it, being a Sunday of course the wait was long – but pleasant as I had a conversation with a lady and it transpired we both came from the Meadows area of Nottingham originally. We spoke of some of the things we enjoyed, the Imperial Cinema, the Grove Cinema. And she could remember the toffee factory fire as well. Not only that she could remember the name of it ‘Waughtmoughs’ so that should give me a better chance to find something on the internet about it later.

She told me of many things and people I could relate to, and was in much better spirits when I got off the bus than when I got on to it.

I went straight to the Fulton store via the Bulwell Marker Place, another cold dark dank depressing place with the few folk around seemingly well depressed themselves.

But they did have some Blackcurrant and ice-cream lollies I was seeking, so I bought two packs to keep me going.

I popped into the Heron Freezer shop but they didn’t have owt appealing in for me.

Then up the road to the Pound Shop and got some seed and bird food with mealworm.

Then I hobbled over the crossing to the river Leen and guess what?

07St06Two more shopping trolleys had been thrown in – unless someone had take the two out and some other cretin had thrown them back in perhaps?

Any-road-up, these pellets that I got from the Pound shop really set off the Mallards, they had punch-ups between themselves trying at at em, even the pigeons got a little agonous.

The fodder didn’t last long either.

So I retreated across the road to the bus station and the next bus back to Carrington was in 21 minutes – so I sat myself down and looked for me book to read, but had failed to bring it with me.

The queue at the bus stop increased and I foolishly tried to start up a conversation with a bloke behind me in the queue.

“Looks like wer’e gonna get some rain?”


“Looks like wer’e gonna get some rain?”


That  was end of the conversation.

07St07As I sat sitting there, I could feel something picking at me ankles and looked down to find pigeons had followed me and were pecking at me???

I put it down to giving them the worm-meal pellets.

They persisted and I sneaked em  a handful of seeds.

They lingered at the bus shelter until the incoming bus moved the off.

I don’t think I dare risk getting them any of those pellets again – it reminded me of Alfred Hitchcocks ‘The Birds”!

Got onto the bus, and felt I was gonna fall asleep at any time, the weariness came on so quickly this time.

Got back in the flea-pit.


Then put me nosh away, and started laptop to update this codswallop.

Icnchcock Today: Saturday 13th December 2014


What a night of dreams… and Nightmares! Can’t recall any details but somehow I know they were frustrating and embarrassing?

Awoke at 0420hrs.


Blooming cold this morning -3c Brrr…

Started laptop and made a cuppa. Then took me medications.


When I eventually found me reading glasses I worked on blogs for a few hours, then moved to Facebook.

BT internet okay at the moment?

Got an email from Nottingham City Council about it being free to get into the Castle Today instead of £4. Twixt 1000hrs and 1600hrs.


Bit late now, but I think I’ll get missen ready and join the crowds there to take some photo’s fer me Diary here…? Yes? No?… Yes I’ll give it a go…

06F01Back later folks…

I am back, after quite an entertaining but disappointing little walk at times to Nottingham Castle.

Taking a photo when I was about ¼ mile from the City centre. Took it from the central part of the pelican lights.

Not too cold now at all.

Made my way down into town and though the Slab Square with its Winter Festival in full swing.

As expected the place was teeming with folk, not that very many of them looked very happy apart from the kids.

I’ve noticed this lately… the general gloom of folk in and around Nottingham?

I called in the Chinese food store on Friar Lane to see if they had and new seaweed flavours in so I could get some for my Sister Jane as a treat ‘cause she ain’t very well. Took the surprise out of it when I found they had some Wasabi flavoured 06F02seaweed in – so I called her (At last I’ve used me mobile phone) to make sure she liked it first and asked her if she’d like me to get her a packet on me way back from the Castle. She did.

As I approached the entrance, there were many folk lingering about.

You could tell it was free as opposed to the usual £4 to get in. Last time I went 06F04and paid there were only about 8 people there besides myself, this time there were four times that number just at the little shop at the entrance.

I made my way left and up the lower hill passed the candyfloss stall and up to the perimeter wall.

I must say the view was breathtaking even though I knew the crimes that 06F05had been committed in the various quarters I was looking at.

The first photograph I took, I tried to make interesting by keeping a bit of the Nottingham Castle rocks in view while taking in the long distance shot of the power station.

The next one I took of the City Centre 06F06Broad Marsh area with a contrast of old and new buildings in it I hoped.

David Bailey? Phwer!

The next one of my masterpieces of photography (Lie mode adopted here you’ll notice? Yes I thought you would! Tsk!) wot I dun was taken leaning over the wall and straight down onto Canal Street.


What I thought was a good escape route from the noise of the singing… Tsk!

Taking this reminded me of my youth, when the consumption of alcohol was of great importance to me.

I was working at Tesco at the time, and my mate Ray Miles convinced me it would be a great wiz to try and climb up the rock face to the Castle. At least on that occasion it was not me but Ray who ended up in the hospital. Ah memories…

In the background was not the Brass Band as promised in the email, but two young lasses singing with squeaky voices of which I could not understand a word, bless em. There were only three people stood or sat listening to em too.

So I walked down a little footpath to escape the noise. I’d never noticed this path before, so sheltered yet so pretty I thought… until I got to the end of it and there 06F08were steps all the way up to the top level!

Oh me knees…

Still I made it up to the top.

Once there I took what I thought was a good photo of the growth on the castle rocks in the foreground, and some houses in Lenton in the distance.

06F09I’m was getting worried about myself now trying this David Bailey imitating.

I hobbled around the corner and there was one of the telescopes with no one using it – well for 20p thought I, I’ll have a go.

I dropped in me 20p coin and nothing happened.

06F10Miffed, I dropped in another – same result, nowt!

As I walked on to approach where I could hear organ music coming from I glanced back, and there was two youths using the same telescope that I failed to get working and talking about what they could see?

Hey-ho! I thought this music is too good to be live and was too good to live.

It came from the back of a large lorry trailer. Huh! Never did find me live brass band!

06F12My knees were getting bad now, so I made me way out and down to the Chinese shop to get Jane’s seaweed – I was quiet pleased with remembering to.

When I got into the slab square, I thought I was looking at tram about an eighth of mile long?


I told em but they wouldn’t listen…

But it wasn’t, it was one that had broken down and a few trams behind it.

I warned em yer know… about putting trams back on the streets again. I wrote to the Evening Post and told em about this happening and that they should have put trolleybuses back on the road, if they break-down you just take the booms off the wires and other ones can pass – and with a reserve battery the broken down one back make its way under it’s own power back to the depot! Did they listen? No, they didn’t even print or acknowledge me letter. Tsk!

06F11Oh dear, I forgot to tell you about the new statue of Robin Hood I noticed as I left the grounds of the castle.

He’d been done-up in a Santa Claus get-up.

And it looked crude cheap and nasty – but that’s Nottingham for yer. A bit like BT internet really… You don’t get 06F13what you expect to get!

I walked through Exchange Walk shopping parade – and at last Christmas some music I could appreciate and enjoy… I lingered for a while. (They can’t touch me for it)

Fair enough I couldn’t make out a word they were singer either, but they 06F14were very melodic and I liked that.

I left the Arcade by the top doors just in time to see some shoplifters being placed in the Police van. The officers returned to the shop – maybe they have more to collect and place in the van – I wouldn’t be surprised in the least.


Thermal’s £3.99 on special – Thanks Mike! See  I’ve got me grabber mended?

I walked (limping by now) up Clinton Street.

As I was passing the Sports Direct store it reminded me of what Mike Steeden (A blogger of genuine high quality humour and satire content) informed me of via a comment he made on Facebook.

They have some thermal vests on offer at £3,99 each. So I went in to have a look – I thought I’d walked into a football match! Talk about a popular shop!Any-road I found the vest he was telling me about ‘Campris Sports Base-Layer. And they had them in large too.

On the box was printed 70% off – Was £22.99 now £7.99 – Two for £12.99 and were selling at £3.99 each!

So I got a couple.

06F15When I’d fought my out of the shop, I had to fight me way up Clinton Street to catch the bus back to the hovel.

Got in WC.

Then photographed the vest to put on here like, made a cuppa started laptop and finished this Diary off and got it posted.

Took me medications.

Facebooked and blogged a while.

Had me nosh and faded…