Ignotism Expert Inchcocks Diary – Friday 18th December 2020:

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Friday 18th December 2020

Maori: Paraire 18 o Tihema 2020

01:25hrs: I stirred into an ersatz form of semi-life, my not wanting to, with great reluctance… for not only did I need the Porcelain Throne, but I realised I’d only I been in the land of nod for about two hours!

How can I best describe my mood? Grumpy, irritable, disgruntled and somewhat discomposed!

As I untangled my still-tired, rather-prominent, gigantic, wobbly-bellied body from the chair, and rose up onto my poor uncut-toenailed and ulcered feet, to catch my balance; the need for the Throne, encouraged me to cut short the exercises. Hobbling to the wet room, I remembered I have the Iceland delivery coming, and the appointment with the Chiropodist today at 13:30hrs. (Which proved that the brain had kicked into gear earlier than it usually does, Hehe!)

I had livened up a smidge by the time I’d got settled on the Porcelain Throne. Just in time to be fully aware that the evacuation was going to be a struggle! Nothing was going to move of its own accord, as things usually do for me. After, and I’m not joking, about ten-minutes of crosswording, I decided I had no alternative, but to force things along…

From the first agony-ridden inner-push, it must have taken another ten-minutes before anything moved, well there was an initial movement of a very short few seconds duration. It was a matter of giving it some hammer, stopping to recover from the pain and effort, and repeating the process! When things finally restarted, I thought I might split myself in two, crikey was it giving me some stick, in slow motion!

Eventually, a thud and the pressure eased. Oh boy, that had to be one of the worst (most painful) this year! A few minutes, I just sat there, relieved that the removal had been achieved.

When I gingerly got up, the first thing, of course, was TPing. There was not much bleeding, which really surprised me. Harold’s poor old Haemorrhoids were battered and stinging like hell, though! I turned to flush the system, and I did so with no confidence that the dirty great dollop of the evacuated product had the slightest chance of being flushed away, it was gigantic!

To my amazement, everything cleared at the first single flushing? No doubt about it, Constipation Konrad was the easy winner of today’s DESB (Daily-Evacuation-Stakes-Battle with Trotsky Terence, for domination.

I got cleaned up and treated Harolds piles to a wash and gently applied some Germoloid ointment. Ahh, that was good! Unfortunately, I dropped the tube and bent straight down to retrieve it, when I should have used the picker-upperer… The bruise on the shoulder triggered SSS (Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley) off! Cragnanglingeckers! 

Now more awake and alert, I returned to get some clothes on, and I spotted last nights medication pot was still full. So I got them taken straight away with some spring water.

Then had a good swig of the damned foul-tasting Docusate Sodium medicine, hoping to avoid going through an evacuation like that again! I remembered to take in the stated minimum of 2 pints (1 ltr) of liquid with it.

I made a brew of Glengettie Gold afterwards. And eat about doing the Health Checks. The Chinese made, Harpin Xian Di contactless thermometer gave a reading in the green again, at 36.8° c. Which happened I noticed when putting in the photos later, was the same as last Friday’s was!

The Sphygmomanometer, Chinese made, and sold by Boot’s, was well up on last Friday, at SYS 178 (158), DIA 84 (76) and the pulse was down at 72 (88). If the SYS stays high over the weekend, I’ll mention it to Nurse Hristina on Monday. That’s a point, will she be calling, cause it is near Christmas, I’ll check the result log for last week.

Ah, yes! I will not miss my beloved, admired, desired, Hristine, the Phlebotomy nurse. Her sweet smile (underneath the mask nowadays, of course), and caring attitude. ♥

I got on the internet, and began to sort out the Thursday updating, and…

I made a brew of Glengettie, had a bag of Frazzles, and got the morning medications taken. Then got the ablutions sorted out early while Mr Fries’ Liberty Global Virgin Internet was dead.

Well, with it being a stand-up session, too ear;y tp use the noisy shower, things went fine! No change of socks until later. A few dropsies, a few nicks shaving. Of course, the medicationing didn’t go painlessly, poor p;d Harold’s Haemorrhoids. Tsk! Other than these, it was an almost normal stand-up wash. The internet came back on (Phew!)

I was just making a start on the blog, and the Iceland man cometh. Looks like I’ve overdone it here?

Hey-ho! I’ve dec,… Hello, a carbuncle or furuncle coming up on the bum I think?

I got the things unpacked and stored away, the fridge and freezer are well stocked once again.

No pain now for fooder, well, garden peas and vinegar maybe. I can see if the mobile shop has any in later on.

I got the minced beef in the crock-pot to cook slowly, then I can add it to the chilli for my dinner this evening, or afternoon, or whenever I get the time and inclination.

When I first put the nice red meat in the pot, it looked delicious.

While putting a few bits away, I nipped back to check on the so-called minced beef. What a colour it had turned to!?!?!

I left it cooking with crossed fingers – not that there were any crossed fingers in the pan like. Hahaha!

I actually got to type some words on the block at long last! Updated some photos, did some comment answering, and sent off the email link I’d forgot to do.

Rechecked on the mince. I had a taste and made some more gravy and added it. I’m now getting a red colour, but only in the juice. This is confusing. Not that I was bothered, it either comes out alright or not. Now I’m getting into the accepting mode again?

I made another brew, Thompsons Punjana this time, and used the milk that had just been delivered. Do you see the size of the bottle? I felt sure I had only ordered a small one.

I uploaded some photos and made a start on this post again. Stopped, and went on Facebooking. Pinterested a snap or two, and back to doing this blog.

The wee-weeing situation was little, and often, there’s not enough bandwidth to keep mentioning them. Humph!

I checked on the Google Calendar to make sure of the foot appointment time.

Herbert joined in with the workers’ chorus for a while. Between them, they actually produced some passable music-like noise, highly commendable. With the drilling being the bass guitars, and Herberts whatever he was using, being the drummer, bass drummer and clanger. When Herbert stopped his tap-tapping, knocking and banging, the noise lost its musicality and became just a ring to put up with. Nice on Herbert!

I persisted with the blogging, took the morning medications. (Well remembered there Inchcock! Hehe!)

The lack of vinegar and tomatoes for Inchies Chilli-Con-Carni creation, dish, bugged me, and then I realised the mobile shop was coming today. I shut down the computer to let in cool, got the three-wheeler trolley walker, filled the box with the small waste bags, and took them to the waste chute.

Got the handwashing done, just two pairs of diabetic bamboo socks. I then got the feet washed, even though I did them earlier, it’s not fair on the toe-cutter; thus, I eliminated any pongs she may otherwise have had to put up with. (Oh, I am a good boy!)

I fought my way out with the trolley-guide, (I can’t understand how I struggled so much, presumably a few mini-dizzies?) I got the bags down the chute.

Then, had a proper performance in getting a lift down to the ground floor. When I did get in the cage, it stopped on the 9th, 7th, 6th and 4th floors, the people waiting at the first three waved me to carry on, not wishing to share the lift, which was fair enough. On the 4th, a chap got in and was telling me that he too had the same problem getting the elevator to stop at his floor, and it took him over twenty-minutes to get this one to stop for him. I felt an affinity with him, Haha!

Down and outside, only a couple of folks waiting for the mobile shop. Angela, who I have missed seeing and talking to, and Josie joined us later. While Angie was being served at the van, her walker guide blew away in the wind, across the road and hit a car parked on the opposite side of the road! I hobbled over with my trolley and retrieved it. I could not see any marks or scratches on the vehicle. Pete, the mobile shop owner, came and collected Angie’s trolley from me for her. Never a dull moment at Windwood Heights! Hehehe!

I got some small apple pies, a bottle of vinegar, he didn’t have any garden peas, and two tomatoes. Not cheap mind, but he has to make a profit. He was selling cars before, but the virus put an end to that. So he got the van and fitted it out, and visits two days, Tuesday and Fridays at the flats for us.

A bit of fame in this photo, for Angie’s husband, Roy. The photo appeared in, of all papers, the Daily Telegraph. That’s Roy at the mobile Shop being served!

Back up to the flat, checked the minced beef. Had a nibble, and it was alright. So I transferred the pot’s contents to the large saucepan on the hob and got the oven warming for later after the toenails had been done, and I can get the part-baked rolls in it.

Got some treats in the trolley, and set off to the Hairdressing Salon. It took me even longer to get a lift down this time! But worserer than that, it was belting down with rain! I was well soaked through, the trolley had rain ibn the bag as did the carriers… miserable feeling!

I sat on the settee in the lobby of Winwood Court, as I was a little early arriving. It took me a while to get down, the settee is far too low for us old folks. Got the crossword book out, but it had got sprinkled with the rainwater, not that it mattered much because I’d forgotten to take a pen with me. Humph!

A minute later, a young lady came out to me, asking if I needed the nail cutting, and she could do me now. The battle to get back up again out of the low settee, took me a while.

After getting all of my details as I sanitised my hands, I was led by Sarah, to a large black swivel chair, with a footstool with extra padding on it. Then warned that the chair was not stable and might move. We chatted all through the few minutes cutting of the nails. Which was super-nice!

They arranged for another visit and booked it for 12th February for another nail-cutting job. A card was given to me, but with me wearing different clothes, I feared I may forget about the cards and putting the date in my calendar.

I thanked the ladies, paid the £25, and as I was leaving the salon, I realised that this was the first time I’d been in any hairdressers for over fifty years! No need to, with no hair on the head, Hahaha!

I dropped the bag off and sat hoping for the rain to ease off, before the walk back to the flats. Deana appeared, and asked me why I was sat there, was I waiting to see her? Told her I was waiting for the rain to ease off, so I didn’t get soaked again. Julie kindly walked with me through the closed walk-through passage and opened the end door for me into Woodthorpe Court, bless her.

Not only did the walk back (green), compared to the walk there (yellow) take less time and distance, but it saved me from another soaking.

My only aim when I got in, was getting the Chilli-Con-Carne done and scoffing it! Put the rolls in the ready-heated oven, and warmed the saucepan. Ten minutes later, I was serving up the feast!

The meal tasted great! Somehow through my faffing about with the seasonings, it came out better than I ever hoped. I wallowed in eating it, masticating slowly to appreciate the flavour. 9/10 for this one!

As I was doing the pot cleaning, one of the infamous sudden bouts of WTC (weariness, tiredness and complete lack of concentration) dawned on me. That was then of my doing or even thinking about anything else, bar sleep!

Stripped and into the jammie bottoms. Plonked onto the recliner, turned the TV on, fell asleep within minutes (Mind you, I needed it aster last nights pathetic two-hour kip), this time it went betterer, I got three hours unbroken rest, before waking in urgent need of the Porcelain Throne.

Hey-Ho!

2 thoughts on “Ignotism Expert Inchcocks Diary – Friday 18th December 2020:

    • Amornin’ Sir,
      I hope to remember to as whichever Vampire nurse about this rise, on Monday.
      I was a tad worried about putting the chilli powder into the gravy, Sir, but it cames out grand, not too hot for me at all, mind you there was a lot of it, so got enough for another meal tonight! Hahahahaha! (Hope it keeps okay)
      TTFNski

      Liked by 1 person

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