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I’m thinking of writing a blog about “How to Get Nothing Done, but find it needs amending or correcting, then run out of time doing it!” Yes, I reached a new low or high today in brain-befuddledness. Overlooking the obvious, missing the intentions or inclinations of my own tormented mind. I’ve never been so busy getting nothing done… well, done satisfactorily, or to a semi-acceptably state, competently, effectively. But conditionally.
My senses and intentions are in remission.
02:30hrs: Better shade.
High morning sky. Lower down. Wonky, wobbly view.
First…
AARGH! . I’ve done it again!
I left the Dang tap (faucet) running last night. There is no hot water for a shower or shave. Spit and grumps!
I put the kettle on and had to return to the Throne! It gets better! Hehe!
Made a brew of Glengettie. Of course, I started writing a blog post and forgot all about tea. Huh!
A third visit to the bog! Where’s it coming from?
Carer Chris (took the laundry down) and then Carer Kara called. Both were in a rush, up to the neck in it, methinks. Kara looked at the whiteboard and checked the Catheter for me.
MIND BLANK or SEIZURE A whopper, too!
When I came around, it was obvious that I had been working on the computer. To my amazement, I’d posted the Wednesday Post off; I hope I finished it first. The scribbled notes I’d scrawled meant nothing to me. I was aware of things because I went to check the cooker and taps. The taps were off, the kettle was cold, and no hobs or ovens were left on. At this moment, I looked out at the view from the balcony window.
My eyesight was worse than ever at long distances today. Every house seemed to have two roofs, and they were both moving independently of each other, according to my Glaucoma’s eyes, anyway.
The day bag dropped down the leg, so I must have been drinking well enough while half out of it?
I did notice the nibble box had been well-raided. Haha!.
Well, that’s what it’s there for.
I realised I’d not sent the blog email notification, so I did.
For an unknown reason, Googlemail would not let me import any pictures (and still didn’t on Friday?). Luckily, they went in when I copied and pasted, which made the job messy and protracted.
Can you believe this?. And was bleeding.
I seemed and cleaned things up. After being up so early, when I returned to the computer, I decided not to continue. Then I realised that the evening carer, Chris, must have been. Could I recall it? Nope! I checked the log book, and he had been.
Despite having been up for about 21 hours, and there must be chunks of the day went off into the ether, I didn’t feel too tired, physically; then again, I’ve not nowt physical, have I?
Time to get summat to eat. Garden peas, potato cakes and caramelised little pork sausages. These were eaten with bits of the baguette wrapped around each one and dipped in the new Heinz tomato ketchup with pickle!
Got the bed ready to receive the mini-elephantine body and decided to have a bag of chip sticks to round off the meal. I checked the taps and heating and got down in the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibbling, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly-grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300, ten years ago from the charity shop, recliner, to eat the treats. Zzz!
Throughout the next three hours, I did not move from the recliner; I just spent the time getting oh-so-regular. I gave up and got up at 04:00 hrs. I decided to finish the stand-up ablutions. It was far too early to use the shower, and the noise would wake up the tenants living below. I’m coughing and sneezing a bit now. Tsk!
I did a full Norton clean-up and virus scan of the computer. Apparently, 65 sites were tracking me at that time. The usual offer of downloading an app to keep them out is at another ridiculous cost.
I did a search for Raynaud’s Syndrome. Each site seemed very vague, and in my current state, I baffled myself even more by doing so.
Some of the Carers have got the ‘Lurgy’. At least one is off work with it. Two that I know of are struggling with the symptoms and taking as many medications as I am. Hehe! But battling on. Not looking good for them.
I started lots of things and finished none today.
I’m miles behind with the blog again. He says I’ll try to catch up by getting up early in the morning!
So, this will be a shorter, quick blog. That’s the plan, anyway…
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Morning views, left to right, from the kitchen.
Reynaud’s on just one finger?
End car park with the crows taking a bath in the mudslide Drizzling still.
Back to the Throne.
Reynauds easing off on finger.
Midday, drizzling still falling.
I think this is the fullest it’s ever been?
Care Marie’s first call, she was suffering with the ‘Lurgy’. Carrying medications with her to take over her shift. Doing a heroic effort in coming in, I reckon. Gave her a cold drinkie from the fridge to ease her throat. Her lips are cracked, and a terrible sore throat. ♥ Carer Kimberly called next. Carer Marie again, and then Carer Christopher did the last two calls. Kara was off poorly, so no banking and paperwork assistance. Hope she’ll be alright, and Marie does not get any worse. ♥ I’d be lost without the Carers.
More frequent visits today? Hope I’m not getting the Lurgy as well.
Part eaten meal…
Blimus! Another visit!. Reynauds had turned into an almost illuminant purple colour now! Still, it’s not painful at all.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Monday was so meddling,
Scaring, frustrating & muddling,
Constant Whoopsiedangleplopping.
My computer was malfunctioning,
I feared the end of my computing!
With the Blue Screen of death appearing!
Fell over, when waste bin manoeuvering,
Many an error and mistake making,
Mental malfunctions marauding,
My forehead acne & eczema are cohabiting! I just thought these were worth mentioning. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
05:15hrs: I woke, got up and was determined to get the done straight away, so I had the time to get them finished before any Carer arrived. The night sharing , and bursting-put Sneezes. I nodded off again every time, but it seemed minutes later, one or the other was back to wake me up. Tsk!The Catheter night pouch didn’t have much content. However, it was a much better colour today.
I collected and hobbled off to the wet room. Yet the innards seemed to be gurgling?
I tried the crossword book while waiting for any action to begin from the rear end. None did! As I rose from the WC… The legs looked a little misshapen, and I felt that and her lesions were creeping up the legs more today. The knees were both slightly bloated. But below them, that part of both legs had ballooned! (Out of picture) . After shaving and washing, it was apparent that my forehead and neck were much more virile than usual. As it seemed, was the postmarks, mini-boil, and drooping eyes. Hehe! This photo left me bamboozled. I must have taken it in the wet room because it was on the SD card between the one above the face and the legs below. I took this just before I put on my dressing gown to leave the wet room. Did they look more inflamed than earlier? I thought so. Both cartilages and knees’ were both carrying to much flesh for my liking.
arrived. He looked a smidgeon better than the last time I saw him. He medicated me, but I forgot to ask him to put on the socks. He checked the prescription medical draw stock and recorded it. He took the laundry down for me; bless him.
Still dark out there, but the mist is lifting, methinks.
In earnest, I started the Sunday blog. It was slow going, but progress was made without too many errors until I realised that Grammarly was not picking them up! It took me a long time to get Grammarly working again, and I still have no idea how or what I did, but it started again. Then, I had the pleasure of correcting and amending the 78 Errors I’d made. Taking me an hour and a half to get right!
Next Carer, she mopped the wet room and kitchen for me and hoovered the main room and mini hallway, too. Thank you!
Brighter now.
She came. She had got the bug, or do they call it the Lurgi now? Poor gal was struggling. ♥ But she still put on my diabetic socks for me; bless her cotton socks. She gave me Peptac and painkillers. She needs some medications as well.
This came up on my computer… ARGH! SOB! SPIT SHI… Demoralised! After following several commands from the prompts, I eventually got to the message: “Sign in with your first code number and password from when you originally bought and installed this version of Windows.” I tried pressing continue and got to another screen. They asked me which installation option I wanted to select for them to reinstall Windows 10. I couldn’t even understand what they meant, so I pressed continue again. A list of several reasons for failure appeared on the screen, with the option to ‘Close the Computer’ or ‘Cancel’. Since I had no choice, I Cancelled. The computer went off anyway. Downhearted, I had to accept that there was nothing I could do about it. I’ve been trying to get someone to check the computer for me. I’ve asked every Carer and the Wardens if they know of anyone trusted who can help me. They all said no. I’ve only used Tech Help twice before. Both times, I got ripped off, and the computer had the same problem a few days after it had been ‘mended’. The last one, who said he was a student, gave me a telephone number to call if anything went wrong. And took his £250 quid with him, Two days later, it did. I tried ringing the number hundreds of times over the next few months, but it was never answered. I’m no better off now in getting any help.
I sulked for an hour or two, then made a meal and put the TV on. But the internet was not available it said on the TV screen. What the hell had I done now?
Again, not really knowing how to use the remote control, I risked pressing unknown what actions they are for buttons. Then I got down on the floor to check the conveniently left on the carpet by the Liberty-Global Virgin Media Engineer who installed the TV, phone and internet for me, and noticed two buttons I could press on the front of the box, a minus on one, and plus sign on the other. Which do I try? I pressed the minus, and the screen stayed the same. Later, I braved trying the plus button, and the fibre TV came on. I dare not touch the box again now… Another problem now. Having gotten down on my knees to the box, I could not get back up on my feet again! The catheter tube was pulling painfully when I finally got moving a little. Cartilages Carole and Chloe, Back-Pain-Brenda, Arthur Itis, and Vasculitis Vanessa joined forces to give me as much pain as possible when I tried to move the legs. Having spent about an hour manoeuvring myself near the recliner to use it as a pull-me-up, The right ankle PN electric shocks kicked off, and I landed back on the floor during what was to have been my final effort… landing on my left knee with a thud. Now I had Cartilage Chloe even more painfully giving me some! I stayed there for a few minutes and considered using my wrist alarm to get help. I made a final effort; if this failed, I would press the wristlet, I told myself. At long last, I was in the recliner and spent a good few minutes recovering from the incident.
I got the Phorpain Gel out and rubbed some in both knee cartilages, and I took an extra Codeine painkiller. As I put the packet back, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley kicked off, and the blister pack flew out of my hand as I grabbed the chair arm to steady myself. I’ve still not found where it went to yet!
Then, I sensed the smell of the food left in the saucepan on the hob! It was only on a low light, which prevented it getting burnt. I made and added some gravy to it. The mood I was in, may have prevented me a little of enjoying the meal. But the bean stew and added baked smoked bacon. I was feeling a little sorry for myself with today’s run of bad luck… but I realised that it was nothing unusual for me.
Carer 07:25hrs. The chap was unfamiliar with Winwood Heights. I thought I heard knocking on the door, (He did not press the door chime) and he walked in as I was doing so. He asked me about what needed doing, but being me and with my memory, I couldn’t recall anything about the dosages or which were due. He soon mastered it after reading the instructions on the folder. During which He phoned head office I thought. Then the landline burst out and flashed. It was Sister Jane, who said someone had called her from the Carers, but rang off. Nae bother, I said, telling her the carer was here. Nice chap, got the meds done all good.
Two hours later.
Made up the waste bags.
Must remember to ask the Carer to take the laundry down with them for me.
Did my best to take a snap of the morning view. Tried again. Although it came out wrong again, it did have the appearance of modern art? The third effort was like the first two. Hehe! Aha, not too bad this one.
Pressed on with the CorelDrawing.
Suddenly felt hungry. So I had what I thought would be my evening meal early. A frozen cottage pie, the last brown baguette with sausages, and an orange jelly.
Took this photo, followed 5 minutes after… of one to the left.
Later the mist fell…
A little later, as I was taking this one as the mist descended, Carer Richard arrived. He heard about the bed being used for the first time tonight. And sorted things, moved them around and readied the bed for me, bless him. And he was not feeling too good himself. I appreciated that.
Well, it looked like yet another fire was going in Sherwood. I assumed it was maybe the cannabis growers burning the used stalks and plants, though. No Fire engines appeared.
Managed to catch the sun on its way down.
I’m passing well today. Hehe!
The break in the clouds earlier was still in view as the darkness began to fall.
Nearly miss this one of the sun.
Two minutes later, she’s gone!
The second meal of the day was enjoyed. Lamb & mutton burgers in the breast, a hot dog sausage in the unfrozen baguette. Lovely and easy to make”
He looked poorly. No, cheering him up at all was successful. He must be going through hell with the diabetes symptoms. Poor lad.
Got on with the blogging catch-up. (Of course, I never caught up; I just got further behind as the day crawled, mistake-ridden on!). I thought yesterday was the worst day in months for typing and memory loss, which was annoying, but today was worse!
The intercom rang out. It was the Parsley Box delivery that Kara had arranged for me. The access button was pressed, and I realised the catheter pouch had to be emptied and hastened to do so. During this, I heard a loud thud. I thought it was the chap in the flat above; he has been getting noisier daily this week. I’m not complaining. I believe he also has to walk with a stick, so I know how he is, like me dropping stuff all the time, hence making noise for the poor tenant below me. I got to the door and found what the earlier thud must have been. The DHL driver had dropped the box of ready meals on the floor outside the door. This was poor; the box split and tore… will I use them anymore? I spent a long time using to take photos of each meal I’d bought. Collectively. Mushroom Risotto Vegetable & Lentil Hotpot Three bean Chilli Vegetarian Cottage Pie. Meat Free Chilli. Cumberland Pie. I read each meal to find the cooking time it needed. Each one varied a little, but the timing and the sell-by dates were written large enough for me to read easily. The shortest sell-by date was Nov 24. Some had Jan 25 dates. They can be stored without a fridge or freezer. I’ll try a Cumberland Pie tonight and add some canned garden peas.
Finally, I finished the blog. As arrived. She rang the Community Nurse’s place and told them about the new Catheter pouch being too long and the tube too thick. They said they would replace them with men’s day bags ASAP. Thanks, Kara! ♥.
I realised when I got back on the computer that I was out of templates for the blog. So, foolishly, thought I’d do a month’s worth in advance. This time, determined not to make a right hash of it and get things wrong, like dates and days for each one, and have to re-sort them like last time. I went into concentration mode and proceeded to make up the templates. After three hours, the next Carer arrived. It was . We had a natter after she’d sorted the medications, and she had to rush off, busy, busy, busy; bless her, leaving with a smiling face. When I got back to the template making. I was like another different creature. Confidence was all gone, and I got myself lost for a while, trying to find where I was up to with the task. Another hour later, I felt delighted and thought I’d done an excellent job this time. I almost went into an undeserved . This belief later turned out to be fallacious! Humph!”.
I smugly turned off the computer; I’d tired myself out with the concentrating, I think. Mind you, I’m not getting much sleep due to my fixation with doing this blog… for far too many hours each day. But I love it when I can raise a smile or two with the truth.
Arrived to carry out the late call. I showed off to him and looked at the list of templates I’d done. Dagnabbit, and balderdashski! I’d missed two days off and doubled up on another. And now they are all out of order and sync. Crying was an option, as was cursing and self-recrimination… not as far as suicide, though! Chris thought it was funny. Huh! Boy, was I irked at my own stupidity! No meal or TV watching tonight; I had to correct the errors and spent an aeon getting them sort of nearly, well, something like an imitation of a workable order. A really mixed-up mess to tackle every day of the month now. I fear dates, days, etc., may get flummoxed!
Not a good shot, Tsk! A smidge betterer?
A commonplace late-night event here. I wanted to stay awake to watch the film The Rock. Every single time the adverts came on, I drifted off into slumber. But not for long. Because I kept getting woken up with . I gave up and turned off the TV, but the mini-shocks kept coming regularly. Thankfully, took the night off, and it didn’t bother me. Then again, with the ankle shocks, he wasn’t needed to ensure I gave up not only on watching the box but also trying to sleep. I got up at 03:15hrs and rose up like a behemoth… is that the right word? Pondered on what day it was and got my feet down on the floor again as I climbed out of the itch-creating, bruise-giving, catheter-tube-tugging, crumb-decorated from my nocturnal nibblings, God-awfully uncomfortable, cringingly-grotty, no longer working, dirty beige, anti-sleep designed, c1966, second-hand bought for £300, ten-years ago from the Scope charity shop in Sherwood, recliner.
.
Fare Thee All Well… Luck’s coming your way, Yes, I can tell… If not, have a day that’s swell!
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Another hazy, confusing day. Constantly fitting between tasks and somehow not getting many finished. I had a few minutes of almost clarity of mind when I was replying to the comments… it was heaven as long as it lasted. But that was it productiveness-wise. I struggled when the Community Rehab & Falls people were doing an update on my condition. I remember a lot, at least I think I do, but so many blanks, and I can’t find the numbers they left to contact them; if I remember anything, I’ve not told them as I fumbled along, losing track of what was going on. Stuttering Stephanie caused embarrassment, and (there’s a word for this, but I can’t recall it) when I used the wrong words a few times when answering their questions. I look up the word again; it is ‘Receptive Aphasia’; I’ve now given this ailment a name, calling her Receptive Aphasia Phyllis.
Confusion reigned, and I was out of it more than in. And, I forgot to record, or can’t find where I wrote it if I did, the time of their next appointment. Humph!
Once again, it’s the next day, and I have only just started on this blog. (Friday 09:30hrs)
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Getting my head down so late in the morning again and Thinking Storming Steven having regular go at my sanity, I was finally settling into a decent period of sleep, and the Carer arrived. (07:15hrs). This I recall. But what happened on the visit, is a mystery to me. I can’t read the scribbled notes about whatever happened, well, the odd word, like, no pouch… waste bags, throne and view. This, I assume, was the view. The first picture on Kodak Tim. Not many were there, with the two-hour-plus visitation from the Falls & Rehab interview. A lot of that I can remember, along with the blanks. Another reversal in style and content from the first failed visit to the Porcelain Throne. Waste bags were sorted out and placed near the doorway into the foyer. I recall seeing Josie’s as was, door and started to worry about her. I’ve found out she is in a care home in Arnold, but not which. I want to visit her, but no one seems to know where she is. Her family have been emptying her flat all week. So sad! I did ask for the carers on each visit to take the laundry down for me. But it’s still there, a bulging bag that is only going to get fullerer! Hahaha!.
Ah, I remember now; the first Carer was Christopher, and he came back later to check I was alright. Apparently, I was ‘Out of it’ and expressing depressional feelings on the first visit. Bless him!
NHS FALLS & REHABILITATION VISIT
Miguel, with Trainee Charlotte from the Falls Team, arrived at the flat, to do an assessment on me. Some of this section may be out of sync or missing altogether due to my FND. Had to put new batteries in the hearing aids, and they are all fine now with the hearing problem. But things being told me were not sinking in, and I was… well, what the word? Disorientated, adrift and losing track of what I was replying to as much as the advice and questions that were coming my way. The medical history was updated. After an hour or so, I was told that an appointment would be made for a visit from a Physiotherapist. Which may be affected by the Physiotherapist’s Strike Action. I’d hoped to get help with the FND symptoms and Cognisant Impairment Iris. They bother me more than anything physical; I know the falls and pains are caused by a combination of Peripheral Neuropathy, Pete, & Receptive Dysphasia Phyllis. I think I mentioned the electric current tingling in the ankles and feet getting worse. If not, I meant to!
Miguel got me to do some exercises with stretching, leg lifting etc. Concentrated on the knees, and Cartilages Chloe and Carole. Carole was far more painful when lifting the right leg. I mentioned that it sometimes the left leg worse, or both of them. He mentioned something at this point, I think, but that has absconded into the grey haze of forgetfulness along with other things. Talking of getting about difficulties, he had me walk around the flat with the trolley. I mentioned , and her wobbly handlebar. Miguel had it sorted in a short time for me; it works fine now. Grrreat! Thanks. Reflux Roger kicked off while we were talking, and Miguel looked very concerned. I’m sure I explained how the problem arose after the Mechanical Aorta Valve operation. Ensuring him that there was only a vague imitational bit of pain each time it blasted out the air through my mouth, and it happens every day or night. The night ones would have woken me up, but with Thought Storming Steve and Shaking Shoulder Shirley, I was usually awake when he hit me, anyway. After they had left, I could not find the contact numbers for them, as I mentioned earlier. Tsk! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The late afternoon is a mystery to me. I know I was a little peed-off at myself for not recalling or recording matters of the visit and self-loathing at the time, but rather than a Memory Blank this time, it may have been due to Receptive Aphasia Phyllis. As I had not got anything done between drifting off and coming back for about an hour, on the computer. Of course, I may have nodded off in the computer chair?
Can of 3-Bean soup, with a vegetable and tomato sauce. Two cheap but nice Asda baguettes. A pot of 10-calorie strawberry jelly for afters. It tasted lovely, rich, flavourful and most of it was eaten. (I made too much, methinks!)
I thought all that veg might have helped me on the Porcelain Throne Evacuation. It didn’t. This was my third failed attempt today! Hopefully, by the time the food works its way down into the guts, things will improve. Of course, I could be wrong!
How did you do at guessing what the thingamabob was in the photo? Hehehe! Did you spot the face in the foam cleaner? I have to admit, I can’t see it now, but did at the time? No, no, I can see it again now! I took a terribly bad picture of the evening view from the kitchen window. I’m getting good at doing this… something of an expert almost! But I tried one higher up, thinking it would be easier to get a decent-quality shot of the clouds in the night sky. The clouds I saw with my eyes taking this, seem to have melted away? Ah, well!
I clouted my right shoulder against the wet room door. As I checked, I’d not left any taps running. This produced the longest-ever bout come attack from Shirley’s Shaking Shoulder I’ve had for a long time.
Shirley’s shuddering carried on to when I got my head down. Typical, the one night out of the last ten, that Thought Storming Steven was giving me a rest, and Shirley takes up the mantle of keeping me awake!
Unbelievable! I finally nod off in the early hours of the morning, and REflux Roger wakes me up repeatedly with his gigantic emissions of wind! Not that they hurt a lot; they just wake me up with the power of the gastroesophageal emissions. Humph!
