Nottingham City Council

Inchcock Today – Saturday 25th August 2018:

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Saturday 25th August 2018

Norwegian: Lørdag 2 August 2018

0255hrs: Stirred into life, as an entirely different person and mood again. Nervous, fearful, anxious, timidity, insecurity, dubiousness, and scepticism reigned and ruled this cold, wet Saturday morning. So much so, I lay there in the £300 second-hand creaking recliner for half-an-hour or so, musing on life.

My acuity was noticeable by its absence, and no decisions, plans or hopes were raised.

Moments after moving my blubbery body mass, both Duodenal Donald and Harold’s Haemorrhoids kicked off. This prompted me to continue with my expergefaction, and get to the kitchen to take the medications. I imbibed an extra pain-killer and Omeprazole capsule with the usual morning selection, to help counter Donald and Harold’s interest in me.

Who needs breakfast Hehehe!

No sooner had I got the Health Checks finished, a call to the Porcelain Throne arrived. In the wet room on the Throne, I observed a few of the Ironclad black biting mini-beetles/weevils scattered around, mostly near a crack at the bottom of the door where there is a tiny gap?

I decided to check the spare room window ledge.

The Killer Bug thingie had caught many more creatures overnight. I watched the insects for a while.

They seemed to be coming in, then rushing back through a tiny gap in the new window sealing when the light went on? But, who knows?

I went on the scales while I was in there.

I know I still had my socks and protection pants on, but crikey! 6lb increase from yesterday! Can’t be, surely? Had something gone wrong with the scales or what? I’m aware I didn’t get a hobble in on Friday, Oh dearie me!

My confidence was lowered even more, now.

Made a mug of tea and got the computer on. Created an extra graphic on CorelDraw to use as a page top later on.

Started this diary going.

I fear, especially with it being the weekend, that the Liberty Global-Virgin Media will go down a few times again today, the flashing centre light is a sign of this.

Of course, when I took the photo, it went back to being constant. Tsk!

Went to make a mug of tea for the one I let go cold. The wind was a-blowing, and it was cold in the flat. Made the brew and I put on the dressing gown.

Discovered that the Electoral Register email address, sent me to a Worcestershire Site, that naturally did not recognise my two passwords as given me by the Nottingham City Council. So I could not answer them on email, with confirmation. Grumph!

I went to yesterdays blog to update it.

Then I made a blog about Bank Holiday Weekends and my abhorrence, loathing and hatred of them, in a rhyme of sorts. A load of tosh for a bit of fun.

Went on the WordPress reader, being weekend, there was not much there.

Popped on Facebook, as I felt the innards brewing up for another visit to the Porcelain Throne.

CorelDraw utilised to create some graphics tops for later use. Did the Health Checks and medications.

Blooming heck, look at the time. Got the Health Checks done.

Got the nosh prepared.

Not feeling so good now. Unbelievable how early the fatigue came on today.

I was pretty useless for doing anything requiring concentration now.

But still, I cleaned the plate of every scrap of food! Hehe!

Well, no, sorry, that’s a fib. I did throw away some of the tomatoes, due to their lousy tasteless flavour and chewability of softened shoe leather.

At least the washing up was easy this time. Haha!

I settled to watch some TV and quickly found myself off into the land of Nod.

Woke up to the sound of the door chimes on both bells.

I’m afraid, as I tried to get free from the £300 wobbly second-hand recliner, I knocked over the water bottle when the rachitic joints suddenly stiffened. Getting myself back up from the floor where I’d gone down to for retrieving the bottle and by the time I got to answer the door, whoever called had long gone.

♥ Jenny had left me two boxes of Prfunda Earl Grey tea bags outside the door!

Bless her cotton-socks! ♥

I’ve never tried this tea before and will do in the morning when the taste-buds are clear, and the bladder emptied.

Thank You, Jenny! X

Took the last medications of the day, and settled to watch some Hetty Wainthroppe Investigates episodes on the DVD.

I got as far as the start of the second one on the disc, and the Strobe Fire Alarm that Nottingham City Homes had installed, had activated!

What an absolute burlesque-like farce ensued! I had to get out of the recliner first, which I did, knocking the remote control and nasal spray onto the floor as I got up. Trod on the nasal spray, causing the cap to shoot off and it sprayed up my leg and foot… determined to check if it was a real fire alarm or not, I continued to make my way to the door to listen for any activation outside, and trod on the remote control! Botherations! I hope it still works later; there was a cracking noise when I walked on it that I heard, and I wasn’t wearing the hearing aids… Oh dear!

Looked through the spy-hole in the door, could see nothing untoward, so checked for heat on the door handle, none felt. So I opened the door to have a listen. No alarm sounding outside. I could not verify anything from the windows like I used to be able to, to see if any fire engines were on site. The new unwanted windows prevent it now, with the dirty-great ledge sticking out blocking my view downwards. I tried to look out through the gap in the balcony like on Thursday, but the hole had been filled in, so, no luck there either.

I tried the remote control, and it still worked, but a plasticy sound emanates when I press any button. Then cleaned the leg and foot, I was surprised at how the nasal spray stung on the flesh?

Got settled down again to watch Hetty on the DVD. I soon had to give up, the nodding-offs grew too frequent. Turned everything off, and lay there wanting to sleep, now I could not. The mind was off on ones its renown (To me) wandering session, fretting over everything, fearing a lot of things and almost searching for something else to fret over. Tsk! What a plonka!

Evening all!

Winwood Heights Upgrading – The Pedestrians Challengers! Hehe!

Keeps yer on yer toes livin’ ‘ere!

The aged pedestrian challenges…

Well, at least it’s not boring living in these old peoples flats. Hehehe!

Fri 18 Sept 15: Inchcock Today – Busy getting nowt done. Tsk!

Friday 18^th September 2015

Woke 0610hrs, again distorted but not uncomfortable, in me brown chair in which I fell asleep reading me book.

Cramp free night again!

Thoughts of me dreams were noted down.

I pondered on the day ahead – by now I’d learned not to make many plans for it, as they usually don’t mature well. Hehe!

Still, here they are: See Deana to get help phoning the Council – then the dentist, then the Clinic to fetch me cream for ‘Little Inchy’, then see if the shop had any more of those tasty BBQ Firedogs in stock. Failed to get the Firedogs. Huh!

Cuppa brewed and took me morning mediations.

Laptop on, to the WC.

Me dreams were not good. They involved me amongst boats, barges, canal locks… People running around chasing, being chased, lost, aggressive and all blaming me for something, no idea what it was but extreme feelings of guilt prevailed throughout the dream. Struggled to work out how the boat worked – Lost a Thermos flask I recall – Realised at one stage I had no shoes and socks on when I was in an engine room, oily muddy water… then I was in a hospital and was drawing noughts and crosses on someone’s leg plaster-cast? – last memory was falling off a lock side into the murky water and bouncing off it?

Checked emails then finished off the Wednesday diary and got it posted.

Got missen and the things ready for me day ahead, and set off on part one of days missions, to the Winwood Community shed, as Deana knocked on the door!

She got on t’phone ans sorted me election registration out for me, bless her, and she’s on her own at the moment, cause Obergruppenfurher Julie is off work due to he mother passing away. I thanked her and gave her some nibbles.

Checked the flat (Taps, windows. plus etc) and set on on e walk through Woodthorpe Park into Sherwood and the dentists.

The usual welcome was given, ” Take a seat and wait!” was barked out in true Concentration Camp fashion…, so I took a seat and waited.

After a short while of me having a go at me crossword book a lady barked “Chambers, Chambers…!” I made missen known: “Go to treatment room 3, yes!”

So I hobbled up the stairs to treatment room 3 and waited.

An assistant came in and moved me to surgery room 1. Where I noticed they hadn’t yet mended the tear in the surgery seat, or mended the split in the sink either.

Another lady came in later and moved me again, to surgery room 2.

It was interesting at the dentist today anyway.

The dentist arrived and was very pleasant as she dug the pain-killing injection into me gum with a smile that reminded me of Margaret Thatcher’s.

After a bit of drilling and prodding she got the filler into what was left of me tooth, then set about making out the bill for me after asking if I felt alright, followed by a forceful ‘Yes!’

I nodded my ‘Yes’ in reply.

During these exercises I noticed there were 27 insects in the lamp-holder on the ceiling. I considered telling her about this when I could talk again – but decided against it.

Then remembered she had told me about my needing an extraction last time, so bravely I asked her about this. She looked at me with a frown and asked me which one, after failing to find it on her computer. I pointed out the offending tooth and she said “We’ll have to do that next time then, ‘Yes!!!” I agreed.

I pointed out that it was beginning to hurt sometimes when I ate…

“You can call if this is the case and it gets too bad… Yes!”

By now I was a bag of nerves. Not due to the pain or bother, just of her commanding voice! Hehe!

She presented me with a bill for £89 – and i pointed out that the bill she gave me last time for today’s treatment was for £32.50?

She checked on the computer and she said this total included the money for the general check… I told her I’d paid that already as demanded by the receptionist on my last visit!

She checked again on the computer – “Oh yes that is right, You pay £32.50 today! Yes!!!”

So I hobbled down the stairs and paid me £32.50 to the receptionist – very confused now!

She made an appointment for next time asking me if I have any preference for the day – I said no problem, any day bar a Monday please, as Mondays are my INR Warfarin blood checks and clinic day.

She made a date and gave me the print-out and estimated cost – it was for Monday 7th March 2016, with an estimate of £32.50 costs.

Boldly I mentioned that it was for a Monday, he said nowt but pounded away on her machine and gave me another appointment slip for Tuesday 8th March, with an estimate of £51.30!

Now totally confused I left.

Caught a bus across the road into Bulwell. Where, despite visiting many shops I could find no FireDogs or Blackcurrant ice-dream lollies.

However on arrival in Bulwell, I got a loaf of bread fed the Mallards and pigeons on the river Leen this along with the earthworms I’d taken with me for them.

Then I walked along and called in the Pound shop to see if they had any of the lavender disinfectant in stock, they hadn’t.

Not an overly successful day up to now.

The Market place looked so unlike a Market place.

No bartering or anything that you expect form a market at all – the goods were crap and not cheap as well.

I walked down to the other shops in search of some Lavender disinfectant and/or iced lollies without any luck.

The place was teeming with Mobility Scooters with drivers who were not really safe.

Mind you, Bulwell has the highest number of registered disabled folk in the County.

I caught a bus into town, to have a look see for me Lavender disinfectant and/or blackcurrant iced lollies – again without any luck. Hobbled (Painfully now, me knees and feet were playing up bad) to the shopping mall. Then back into town.

Where a small group of protesters in front of the Council house attracted the attention of the police.

As I made me way to the bus stop, some more police were seen going into Primark I think, most likely to arrest some more shoplifters.

Caught the L9 bus back to the flats.

Part way there, going through Carlton, a chap with two others got on the bus. The big one of the two others, obviously a pupil from the nearby Rosehill Special School sat next to me and nearly crushed me. I know something of the problems these men and youths have from me security days when we did the alarm responses for the school.

One one occasion after the monitoring station had informed us an activation, the police contacted me to say they thought it was an old pupil who’d broke in, he’d been moved to Birmingham, and had somehow escaped from his parents care to go back to the school, where he was so happy. No bad intentions on his behalf but we must take care as this lad know no pain physically and has been known to be violent. They were transporting the parent to the site as they were the only people who had a modicum of effect with him. It hours, and they had problems convincing him to leave – we did want to try and force the lad as he and we would not be aware if he got hurt. Hell of of night that was.

And i think this bloke crushing against the window was this lad, although obviously now he was a bloke.

Any-road, when it came to my getting off the bus – the bloke would not acknowledge me or make way for me to get off the seat or bus.

I remembered his Christian name and used it as I tried gently to convince him and it worked. The chap in charge of the two bloke was very impressed.

Although one Herbert sat at the front got a bit het up and swore at him and I and the carer tried to explain to him about the blokes problems to no avail.

I got off and made me way to the flat, feeling so upset for the affected bloke, who never spoke.

Got into the flat and more mail, one for the last tenant one for me. The one for me cheered my up tremendously I can tell yers.

It was from a Cyber-friend in America.

It offered support and empathy of my situation.

I like to thank her most deeply. I was touched by this, that anyone would go to the time, cost and effort to support someone so far away I found fantastic! Thanks a million gal! XXX.

This made a bad day, a good dayall on its own.

WC’d. Got the laptop on to start and finish this diary off.

Made me nosh.

Polish Sopocka, new potatoes, sweet beetroot, apple, tossed red peppers and mushrooms, last of me cheese cubes, wholemeal bread with caramelised red onion relish. Followed by a jelly and fromage frais.

Still had trouble nodding off despite feeling so tired?

Stomach churning.

Wed Sept 16: Inchcock Today

Wednesday 16^th September 2015

**Morning View – Just before the rain started**

Up at 0620hrs, got lots of sleep in last night and can’t recall any dreams.

WC, no bleeding from Little Inch or the rear end. Super!

Took photo from the kitchen window (Above).

Finished the Tuesday diary and posted it.

Asda order arrived delivered by a polite but wet driver. Who warned me of the weather. Bit of bad luck, the folders I’d bought were not the type I thought and no use for what I wanted them for. Tsk! Also the substituted some goods again with stuff I didn’t really like!

Put me stuff away – freezer and fridge now really bulging!

Took rubbish to the chute at 0800hrs, started this diary off and decided to go to town and pick some folders of the type I need from a Stationery shop, will try to catch the 0930 L9 bus into town.

Had a wash and shave and put me big coat on cause of the threat of heavy rain to come.

Walked to the Winwood Community shed but no staff there again.

Back to the reception and had a chin-wag with some of the residents. Caught the L9 bus into town, using me precious free pensioners bus-pass of course.

Dropped off the bus and walked in the drizzle up Goosegate and down into the City Centre.

The café’s were putting out their chairs and tables for the rich to come and eat later – I say this because the nearest one to the camera had a sign outside telling us all of a Special Offer on between 1000 and 1200hrs this week only! Buy any £15.00 ($23.20)! portion of their seafood-pizza and get a second one for half price!

I walked on through the Slab-Square where I came a cross a frightening sight… 28 Nottingham ankle-snappers with only 7 people on guard duty with them! Hehehe!

The CPO (Community Police Officer) on duty in front of the Council House soon moved away into the building when he saw these arriving – mind you he was probably just warning those inside to hide their wallets and get ready for a physical onslaught?

Down Exchange Walk and into the Stationery shop – got a folder thingy that holds 30 files so that should do me for me sorting and storing on me documents.

Up back into the city centre, just as a tram was at South Parade platform and another coming into it from the other direction.

Observe the Nottingham shoplifters never-changing attitude to moving traffic and the rules of the road?

That reminded me, I haven’t had an answer to the email I sent to the local police about Nottingham Pavement Cyclists yet – wondered if I will get one eventually?

I sneaked some seeds to the pigeons on me way to take some Bling photographs for the TFZ gals.

These new crop of young pigeons are nippy yer know.

Missed again… Tsk!

As I got towards the corner with King Street, I looked up at Little John the council house clock to check the time for me catching the bus back to Woodthorpe Court and noticed some stonework for the first time, so I got me new camera out and zoomed in – a bit easier to get this shot than the pigeon earlier Hehe.

Great to be able to get a shot like this from so far away with me new Panasonic Lumix 570 with 30 x zoom. Just showing off a bit here, sorry.

Still never ceases to amaze me how the masons managed to get it all in place and for it to stay there for so long?

Not to mention the artist who had to sculpt then first.

Walked up King Street to the top, plenty of time to catch the bus, so I stood on the corner hoping for a good camera shooting incident – and I got one too – not what I was hoping for mind:

A Post Office Van drove up the hill and turned of the road… on the zebra crossing onto the pavement! You can see his wet tyre marks where he drove off the crossing! Then he parked in the middle of the pavement and went into the Post Office presumably to collect some mail?

Not that he had much option I suppose, it’s a nightmare parking anywhere in Nottingham City Centre nowadays – unless your driving the Lord Mayors Jaguar of course.

I got a parking ticket one Sunday when I was responding to an alarm activation!

Caught the bus and didn’t nod off! Yes! Didn’t nod off! It was close mind…

Got in and hunger pangs tingled so I got me nosh early.

Hot dog sausages, apple, tomatoes, some delightful sweet cooked beetroot by the Lincolnshire Beetroot Company via Asda, not cheap, but excellent taste, garden peas, cheese cubed, bread thins and some mushrooms and red peppers that I’d marinated in olive oil. Where and how the strawberry cream cakes got there I can’t imagine. Had to force missen to eat them…

Wash me pots and then got sorting through the bags and box’s in the bedroom to find any paperwork so as I could collate it with the pile in the front room, ready to sort them into their relevant wallets like.

Two hours later, and I’d only worked me way through a third of the bags in the bedroom – not even thought about getting to those in the living room! Tsk!

Made a cuppa and took me medications.

The usual rained and weariness came over me. I feel terrible cause it really looks like I’ve not got owt done – despite me bestest efforts. With the files and wallets laying all over waiting to get sorted the place looks worse than this morning now… Huh!

The postman cameth… one for Margaret the previous tenant and two for your truly.

One the INR test results and one from the Nottingham City Homes. Telling me to qualify for the Responsible Tenant Reward I need to:

Pay me rent on time (Direct debit)
Keep me annual gas safety appointment (Although the place is all-electric?).
Behave respectfully, not cause any anti-social behaviour or be abusive to staff?
Keep my garden or balcony tidy
Not cause any damage to my home (As if!)
Have been a tenant since 1st November 2014 (That’s me out then!)
Be registered to vote at this address

A leaflet about ‘My Big Birthday Bash’ Fun for all the family? Free Lunch Graffiti artists? Bouncy Castle! Gardening workshop and much more! I see…

Another leaflet: Nottingham City Council and Nottingham City Homes would like your views about whether we should join the Rental Exchange. It means that we’d share your payment history with Experian, unless you ask us not to, but it would only be accessed by companies when you give your permission. If you are a good rent payer we think it would be beneficial. (To who?).

We will consider all feedback and views of tenants overall before making a decision on whether to support participation.

Let us know what you think.

I filled it in and went to the Post Box calling at the Winwood Community shed en route – all locked up of course.

Posted the from off returned and sent an email to Deana asking if she could assist me with phoning the Electoral place about me not hearing owt about me being on the register at this flat – at her leisure of course and if she could find the time like.

Flipping wind is gerrin’ up out there now.

Managed to lose me SD card from the camera – I took the card out of the laptop to take the photo of the letter, went in t’kitchen to put kettle on but could not find it anywhere when I returned – Whoopsiedangleplop of sorts. Spent ages searching, but… no luck! I had to use one from another camera. Tsk and Huh! Lost the photo’s now! Cobblewangledrip I am!

Started to worry about things all of a sudden.

My confidence has gone into the ether.

Still awake at 0200hrs. Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Saturday 17th January 2015

Oh dear… woke up several times during the night with the rumbling innards and rear passage giving me bother. Huh!

A funny wot I dun and captioned: “Someone really ought to wake him up know!”

Arose (yet again) to visit the porcelain around 0315hrs and decided to give up and started the laptop to finish and post yesterday’s Dairy and begin this one.

The dreams I’d had couldn’t be recalled at all this morning but know I’d had them and they were frustrating in nature.

WC.

The innards are rumbling and bubbling still – took some bi-carb with me usual medications. Still, the arthritis and angina are not being too awkward anyway… yet. Hehe! What I’m laughing at I’m not sure?

Did some graphicalistioning on Coreldraw while it let me.

Many visits to the porcelain today, the innards are churning and a tad uncomfortable, two really close shaves up to now – not sure whether to risk going out or not yet… might just have a wander around locally if the yobs ain’t around. Or not?

Carried on with me graphicalisationing, dun some funny ones for Facebook Troll Free Zone gals and lad’s in mind.

Oh dear… just got back from another urgently needing attention message wot I got from me rumbling grumbling stabbing innards – no faux-pars though.

Still not sure if I should risk a poddle out?

I can hear emergency vehicle klaxons nearby – but I’m not going out to have a nosey this time.

At least the BT internet seems to be going alright, although I may regret saying that now that I’ve said that?

Bloomin’ ‘eck, another visit to the bog! Not good this.

Had an email from Nottingham City Council warning me of bad weather coming.

The cough now returned and stayed with me all day – Tsk!

After an hour or so the burbling and gurgling seemed to be settling, so I decided a walk into town might be okay. (What a plonker!)

Got a wash up and set off on me walk.

The traffic at the lights on Hucknall Road was at a standstill.

Horns a peeping and hooting as they jockeyed for position.

It freed up a lot further on near the traffic island and I took a photo because the sky looked very clear compared with the last few days.

I suppose it’s the wintry weather on its way that I was warned about?

A little bit further up the road, I espied my first piece of Nottingham Street Art on the pavement yet again. I wondered if it was the same culprit as the other day as it was spotted roughly in the same area as was that dog poo?

I pressed on over the hill on Mansfield Road and down the other side towards the City Centre.

A block of six retail outlets on the other side of the road near the Huntingdon Street junction traffic lights I saw had only one business open, the other had closed down.

It was an Art Gallery outlet.

Of all the things I thought.

There has been take-away food, Book shops, Butchers, Estate Agents, Hair dressers, Adult entertainment suppliers and Ladies nail shop but all have failed and gone broke or got out quickly in that row of shops over the last year or so. How can an Art Gallery expect to make it pay?

A few hundred yards further down the road the first pavement cyclist came passed me. Again I only just caught him with me camera.

Then I turned to continue on me walk and nearly tripped and did a ‘Whoopsidangleplop’ over one of the uneven pavement slabs.

Undaunted, after using a few well chosen descriptive words I limped into the Victoria bus station and through into the Victoria Shopping Centre (Mall).

A gurgling from within and severe involuntary passing of wind encouraged me to get to the public toilets ASAP!

Phew… made it in time.

I came out and looked for some ‘Bing’ ‘Pearls’ and ladies fashion items, anything that might interest the girls from Canada, America and Australia on Facebook to take photographs of.

I got six that might interest them. The one of the fish here I put in the diary because I couldn’t believe the prices of the 2.5″ glass fish on sale. £60 (AUD $110.44 – USD $90.86 – CAD $ 108.92) each! Mind you they were probably not glass, something else more expensive?

I poddled down the ground floor and popped into Tesco Metro and got some Cox’s apples, Cooked crispy bacon and bread.

When I departed onto Milton Street, between the Poundland and Waitrose shops I espied another piece of Nottingham Street Art.

It doesn’t show very well in the photo, but it was semi-liquid and smelled of curry to me.

Not bad for early afternoon.

I took some photo’s of a jewellery shop window for the girls and went down to the bus-stop and caught one back to the flea-pit.

I sneaked some seed to the pigeons and tool a photo of em.

Walked home and rushed to the WC.

The top of the tap on the sink has split open.

No idea how to mend it. Tsk!

Put me bits away and depression overcame me.

Later I started this diary after having to restart the laptop to get Coreldraw to work.

Coughing painfully well as I pass wind, I did some graphics.

Tonight I plan to have me microwaveable Potato Gratin, bacon and some bread. Or bearing mind me innards… should I?

I did, and it wer lovely.

Paid the price with the usual painful getting up and down to tend to the calls to the porcelain throughout the night. Tsk!

Inchcock Today: Friday 19th December 2014

Awake at 0250hrs. Feeling like I’d had no sleep at all and still tired?

I laid there again trying to reclaim the dreams I’d had without any success at all this time.

The angina seemed easier at this point, crossing fingers here.

WC.

I started the laptop and went down and put the kettle on – sorted the rubbish and bags for the Refuge Containment Operatives to collect later. The rain was a’raining and the wind a’blowing, but it wasn’t cold at all.

I managed to trip up the doorstep coming back in… I believe I may have uttered an expletive of a parentage questioning nature. The tiny scratch on me shin bled away to its hearts content. Took a while but it stopped after a few minutes. I hoped my INR Warfarin level was alright.

Back up to the laptop with me newly brewed cuppa.

WC.

BT Internet connection working okay. Coreldraw messy and crashing with differing results to normal and not saving again. Tsk!

Started this Diary around 0325hrs.

Did some graphics and blogging.

Made another cuppa and took me tablets. Rubbed in some extra Permethrin cream today.

Got myself spit and polished – teggies bleeding now… huh!

Set off on me walk into the City Centre. Bit of drizzle and windy, but not cold with it today. Mind you I wus listening t’radio as I got ready and possible freezing tonight given out.

The walk through town was easy enough, not many folks about yet, although the cyclists on the pavements were there again.

I plodded on and called in Sainsburys to get a loaf for the mallards on the canal.

Then up the road to take a picture of Carrington Street from the same view as the ones I posted a facebook from 1919 – 2003 and 2013, some changes made. I’ll post it later on the Troll Free Zone I think.

I ambled down to the canal to feed the mallards…

There were no mallards…

There were no pigeons either!

Very weird this – the only birds in sight were those illegal immigrants the sea-birds!

So I took a photograph of a barge on the canal where the mallards should have been?

See? No mallards or any other birds around the canal this morning?

The barge was named ‘The Slow Couch’ – I was careful not to wake the occupants who were obviously late risers.

I risked the now numerous mad mobility scooter drivers dodging all over the place and walked towards town.

En route I saw a Nottingham City Council sign for Nottingham Markets. It told me Bulwell market was open today. So I thought I’d catch a bus there and feed the mallards on the river Leen being as the Canal ones had seemingly abscondicated. (Is that a word? Well I like it anyway)

I got me bus-pass ready and made for the Bulwell bus-stop. Stopping on the way to take a picture of the stall just opening that was selling Ostrich, Kangaroo and Beef burgers at £3.50 ($5.49) each. The lady there had some early customers too!

I pressed on and caught the number 17 bus into Bulwell.

Yet another interesting, during the trip I an old Asian guy sat next to me, but he didn’t want to talk when I asked him how he was keeping. He only travelled for a couple of stops and got off.

Then a young lady got on and sat next to me and dropped her mobile phone. She alighted the bus and an elderly lady got on and sat next to me. I asked her how she was keeping? She informed me that she was well, but rather deaf so best if I stop speaking to her.

I dropped off at Tesco and went in to have a look see if they had any French Horns in stock.

My first visit to this large Tesco branch. I had to get a trolley first then travel with it up an escalator into the actual store.

I had a poddle around and came to the bread sections where I investigated the bread thins.

Mmmm… while searching for the ones with the longest shelf life on them I came across a packet marked sell-by 10th December! they even put Lidl and Asda to shame with that!

I placed that pack with a 22 December sell-by one and took a photo of em on the shelf! Needless to say which one I purchased.

I got some crispy bacon, ice lollies, olive-oil and butter spread and a pack of honey flavoured yogurts. I know how to live yer know!

I hobbled down to the ground floor and waddled up into Bulwell Market as the Nottingham City Council sign in the city centre suggested.

It was very sparsely being used and the folk again didn’t seem happy at all?

Perhaps it was the wind?

I made me way to the River Leed and saw a newspaper vender’s sign: Three Men Arrested! So I bought a copy, it read:

Three men have been arrested after an altercation in Bulwell during which a man suffered a stab wound. Two people were taken to hospital following the incident, on Thursday morning. The trio were arrested in connection with a public order offence. There was a heavy police presence on the estate in the morning, with seven police vehicles, including a riot van, attending the scene.

Another reason for them not to be happy?

When I arrived at the river, the mallards and pigeons greeted me as usual – but within seconds they all flew away? Another strange occurrence!

Perhaps there was a Peregrine Falcon about? But that doesn’t match with the canal mallards being absent? Mmmm!

I made my way to the bus station and caught one back to Carrington.

Got in and started the laptop.

WC.

Made a brew and put me things away.

Had curried beans and Pork loin sandwiches, a lolly and mousse and updated this diary.

Tried to watch a DVD…

Inchcock’s Christmas Speech to the Nation

My Lords and Members of the House of Commons and Nottingham Big Issue Sellers, Shoplifters, Muggers, Burglars, Benefit Cheats, Alcoholics, Nottingham City Council Members, and Anti-Social Trainee Criminals.

I wish you all a very happy Christmas.

I feel sure the Government I didn’t vote for will strengthen the economy and provide stability and security, and ministers will continue to reduce the country’s deficit, helping to ensure that mortgage and interest rates remain low.

This past year has been one of great celebration for many of my enemies.

May they receive their just rewards when they pass onto the Fiddling Liars Parliament in the great Sky.

I’m sure the politician’s God does appreciate the good works and their conscientious contributions on his behalf over the year of 2014.

I’d like to thank especially the Nottingham City Homes people for refusing to permit me a sheltered housing dwelling when I was mugged for the second time this year. And may you rot painfully slowly and publicly in hot stale urine and strong bleach.

To the spoilt apprentice muggers who have hounded and threatened me earlier this year I wish all the best in health, luck and death.

And the best of ill-fate for the three mobility scooter drivers who have ran into me this year.

The one who produced the two finger salute to me as he shot off after running into the back of me outside Victoria Centre a special card.

The Snotty one who also came at me from behind on Mansfield Road, and the woman who didn’t even know she’d knocked me over in Derby near the bus-station.

I hope this will be a horrible Christmas for you all.

To the wonderful deaf and arrogant Indian and French speaking people at BT Internet, I have to admire how close you have come to being as reliable and trustworthy as Britain’s politicians. Well done you temerate nerds!

To the Asda Customer Service counter assistants. I hope you get your hearing back soon.

To the staff at the G.U.M. clinic, a big thank you for taking only 16 weeks to clear up the bleeding lesion on my ‘Little Inch’.

To the staff at the Cooperative Bank… I’m sorry, but I offer you a heartfelt thank you and I appreciate all your help.

And for the folk who never get off their mobiles and speak at the same decibels as a formula one car taking a corner at speed – shaddup!

To my GP, Dr Vindla my appreciation of your skills in keeping my body going for yet another year.

I realise that my mind is beyond help and that the short term memory refuses to work at times, a bit like one’s laptop – it freezers regularly.

Many thanks to the many cyclists on the pavement who come belting passed me and scaring me half to death. If you are too scared to cycle on the road, you shouldn’t be on a bike in the first place. Scum-balls!

And for the Nottingham Constabulary, a card I’m sending to the Leicester Constabulary in appreciation of the Leicester Constabulary actually trying to do something about the cyclists riding on the pavements of Leicester as opposed to the Nottingham Constabulary who do nothing about the cyclists of Nottingham riding on the pavements.

Mind you, there has been a 40% reduction in real Police Officers on the beat in Nottingham, I cannot say about Leicester.

One also hopes that the coming year of 2015 and the future hold forth hopes of reinstatement of human kindness, understanding, compassion and community spirit. Huh!

Icnchcock Today: Saturday 13th December 2014

What a night of dreams… and Nightmares! Can’t recall any details but somehow I know they were frustrating and embarrassing?

Awoke at 0420hrs.

WC.

Blooming cold this morning -3c Brrr…

Started laptop and made a cuppa. Then took me medications.

WC.

When I eventually found me reading glasses I worked on blogs for a few hours, then moved to Facebook.

BT internet okay at the moment?

Got an email from Nottingham City Council about it being free to get into the Castle Today instead of £4. Twixt 1000hrs and 1600hrs.

Bit late now, but I think I’ll get missen ready and join the crowds there to take some photo’s fer me Diary here…? Yes? No?… Yes I’ll give it a go…

Back later folks…

I am back, after quite an entertaining but disappointing little walk at times to Nottingham Castle.

Taking a photo when I was about ¼ mile from the City centre. Took it from the central part of the pelican lights.

Not too cold now at all.

Made my way down into town and though the Slab Square with its Winter Festival in full swing.

As expected the place was teeming with folk, not that very many of them looked very happy apart from the kids.

I’ve noticed this lately… the general gloom of folk in and around Nottingham?

I called in the Chinese food store on Friar Lane to see if they had and new seaweed flavours in so I could get some for my Sister Jane as a treat ‘cause she ain’t very well. Took the surprise out of it when I found they had some Wasabi flavoured seaweed in – so I called her (At last I’ve used me mobile phone) to make sure she liked it first and asked her if she’d like me to get her a packet on me way back from the Castle. She did.

As I approached the entrance, there were many folk lingering about.

You could tell it was free as opposed to the usual £4 to get in. Last time I went and paid there were only about 8 people there besides myself, this time there were four times that number just at the little shop at the entrance.

I made my way left and up the lower hill passed the candyfloss stall and up to the perimeter wall.

I must say the view was breathtaking even though I knew the crimes that had been committed in the various quarters I was looking at.

The first photograph I took, I tried to make interesting by keeping a bit of the Nottingham Castle rocks in view while taking in the long distance shot of the power station.

The next one I took of the City Centre Broad Marsh area with a contrast of old and new buildings in it I hoped.

David Bailey? Phwer!

The next one of my masterpieces of photography (Lie mode adopted here you’ll notice? Yes I thought you would! Tsk!) wot I dun was taken leaning over the wall and straight down onto Canal Street.

**What I thought was a good escape route from the noise of the singing… Tsk!**

Taking this reminded me of my youth, when the consumption of alcohol was of great importance to me.

I was working at Tesco at the time, and my mate Ray Miles convinced me it would be a great wiz to try and climb up the rock face to the Castle. At least on that occasion it was not me but Ray who ended up in the hospital. Ah memories…

In the background was not the Brass Band as promised in the email, but two young lasses singing with squeaky voices of which I could not understand a word, bless em. There were only three people stood or sat listening to em too.

So I walked down a little footpath to escape the noise. I’d never noticed this path before, so sheltered yet so pretty I thought… until I got to the end of it and there were steps all the way up to the top level!

Oh me knees…

Still I made it up to the top.

Once there I took what I thought was a good photo of the growth on the castle rocks in the foreground, and some houses in Lenton in the distance.

I’m was getting worried about myself now trying this David Bailey imitating.

I hobbled around the corner and there was one of the telescopes with no one using it – well for 20p thought I, I’ll have a go.

I dropped in me 20p coin and nothing happened.

Miffed, I dropped in another – same result, nowt!

As I walked on to approach where I could hear organ music coming from I glanced back, and there was two youths using the same telescope that I failed to get working and talking about what they could see?

Hey-ho! I thought this music is too good to be live and was too good to live.

It came from the back of a large lorry trailer. Huh! Never did find me live brass band!

My knees were getting bad now, so I made me way out and down to the Chinese shop to get Jane’s seaweed – I was quiet pleased with remembering to.

When I got into the slab square, I thought I was looking at tram about an eighth of mile long?

But it wasn’t, it was one that had broken down and a few trams behind it.

I warned em yer know… about putting trams back on the streets again. I wrote to the Evening Post and told em about this happening and that they should have put trolleybuses back on the road, if they break-down you just take the booms off the wires and other ones can pass – and with a reserve battery the broken down one back make its way under it’s own power back to the depot! Did they listen? No, they didn’t even print or acknowledge me letter. Tsk!

Oh dear, I forgot to tell you about the new statue of Robin Hood I noticed as I left the grounds of the castle.

He’d been done-up in a Santa Claus get-up.

And it looked crude cheap and nasty – but that’s Nottingham for yer. A bit like BT internet really… You don’t get what you expect to get!

I walked through Exchange Walk shopping parade – and at last Christmas some music I could appreciate and enjoy… I lingered for a while. (They can’t touch me for it)

Fair enough I couldn’t make out a word they were singer either, but they were very melodic and I liked that.

I left the Arcade by the top doors just in time to see some shoplifters being placed in the Police van. The officers returned to the shop – maybe they have more to collect and place in the van – I wouldn’t be surprised in the least.

**Thermal’s £3.99 on special – Thanks Mike! See I’ve got me grabber mended?**

I walked (limping by now) up Clinton Street.

As I was passing the Sports Direct store it reminded me of what Mike Steeden (A blogger of genuine high quality humour and satire content) informed me of via a comment he made on Facebook.

They have some thermal vests on offer at £3,99 each. So I went in to have a look – I thought I’d walked into a football match! Talk about a popular shop!Any-road I found the vest he was telling me about ‘Campris Sports Base-Layer. And they had them in large too.

On the box was printed 70% off – Was £22.99 now £7.99 – Two for £12.99 and were selling at £3.99 each!

So I got a couple.

When I’d fought my out of the shop, I had to fight me way up Clinton Street to catch the bus back to the hovel.

Got in WC.

Then photographed the vest to put on here like, made a cuppa started laptop and finished this Diary off and got it posted.

Took me medications.

Facebooked and blogged a while.

Had me nosh and faded…

Nottingham Police Granted Special Status

It was disclosed this morning by Ashgar Tyson a City Council litter and Big Issue seller to our ace, unpaid, senile WordPress reporter Juan Inchcock that the Nottingham City Police are to be awarded a Special Preservation Order from the Nottingham City Council.

Inchcock contacted the City Council leader Con Jollins (Expenses so far this year £46,814.48) who had just returned from a fact finding mission to see how the Miami Council deals with their Gay Lithuanian Support Groups. He met him as he was being woken up at a Council meeting on spending cuts and asked him about this rumour of the Nottingham City Police being awarded a Special Status.

Mr Jollins replied; Now the Coalition Government has dramatically cut the number of officers, and their having asked for a further 2000 voluntary applications from officers for early redundancy, and their having actually received over 6,200 application, we are considering placing a ‘Protected Species’ classification on them as well. But this is being dealt with by our Social Services leader Nugget Khan (Expenses to date this year £4,646.45) He is currently in Luxembourg assessing the Social needs of immigrants from Luxembourg within Nottingham society.

He added; However, you might like to speak with his secretaries third assistant cleaners support worker, Shirley (Wage £9.37 hourly). She will be available every second Wednesday between ten and ten past ten at the Job Centre plus offices on Upper Parliament Street where she gives support and advice to the masses of Nottingham… as part of the City Council’s support group for the underprivileged.

Unsure if it was worth following up this rumour, Juan left and took his medications.

Inchcock eventually did catch up with Shirley by chance, when he was on his way to apply for a new bus-pass, Shirley’s chauffeur driven Jaguar swerved to avoid a skateboarder who had collided with a mobility scooter, and they knocked Inchcock over.

Commissioner Mike Steedenski, who was in the vehicle groping Shirley at the time bore witness that Juan had caused the accident by running away from the skateboarder and mobility scooter in the first place.

When he was released from hospital, he decided to chase the story about the Nottingham police, and ensconced at the Job Centre plus offices on the Wednesday at ten a.m. and awaited the arrival of Shirley.

He saw her arrive and put her bottle of Gin in the glove compartment, she entered the Job Centre Plus premises. Where Juan cornered her and asked for her views on the Granting of Special Status for the Nottingham Police Force.

She was very calm and collected and explained: “Any rare species is entitled to our protection to save their becoming totally extinct. Look what happened to the Dodo and Simon Dee! Do we want this to happen to our Policemen as they become more and more scarce?”

At that she walked off into the back offices with a hiccup and staggered waddle.

Juan was still not sure if he should continue with the story to press, as there seemed little interest shown by the Big issue sellers, street artists, muggers and Pay-Day loan customers he had interviewed so far that week.

As he left the premises, he was approached by an armed police officer who wished to be advised as to why Juan was in possession of an offensive weapon?

His walking stick.

Juan gave the man short change, questioned his parentage put his cap on and limped off disgusted with his treatment.

He caught the bus home to his flea-pit house, and immediately (Well, after he’d taken his medications) drafted a letter of resignation as an unpaid WordPress reporter.

As he set off on a hobble to post it off, the police arrived and conducted an interview with him about his dangerous walking stick he left the Job Centre Plus office.

Inchcock Today: Wednesday 1st October 2014

: So much for taking their word they would call to see me!

Wednesday 1^st October

Woke up around 0400hrs, cramps gone, but leaving aching bones. (Even typing is a tad painful)

Remembered I’d got the ‘Meals at Home’ person calling today, so I have to remain in all day so as not to miss he/her/them.

WC.

Tackled the Inch with the Clotromozole cream while it was still proud, less bleeding this morning, that was good.

Got downstairs and laptop started, made a cuppa and took medications.

Checked on Facebook and replied to some nice comments. Updated the diary. Then started on a graphic for TFZ.

WC.

Managed to get two posts and some graphic done.

**13hrs of expecting the Nottingham City Council Meals at Home to arrive – I am a fool or what?**

1450hrs: Making myself poorly with holding in me urge to go to the toilet in case I miss the ‘Meals at Home’ person/s who are supposed to be calling today. Determined not to miss them/him/her and give em a reason not to serve me.

Bit frustrating this waiting and not knowing lark.

1510hrs: Still waiting…

WC.

152ohrs: Still waiting…

WC.

1555hrs: Still waiting…

1615hrs: Still waiting…

WC. Had to relieve myself at the sink. I have gone through two rolls of kitchen towels, a bottle of bleach and a bottle of disinfectant!

1700hrs: Still waiting…

Called them on the mobile – No answer!

Wonder if I have a valid claim against them?

Bladder bad now.

1712hrs: Still waiting…

1730hrs: No signs of em yet!

1755hrs: No signs of em yet!

1808hrs: No signs of em yet!

To tired to wait any more now.

I’ll just have to call at the Council Contact point tomorrow. Huh!