Month: February 2022

Inchcock Diary & Local News Snippets Part 32⅔

Breaking News!

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Inchcocks Diary Wednesday 9th February 2022

Around 03:10hrs, I woke for the umpteenth time – I urgently needed to utilise the Porcelain Throne. Again, as I got up quickly, Dizzy Dennis visited me, but I didn’t fall back into the rickety recliner this morning. That must have pleased Harold’s Haemorrhoids; it did me, that Germoloid Cream is not cheap, you know!) However, I stubbed my right big toe on the doorframe going into the wet room… Which is better than clouting my shoulder on the doorframe!

Unfortunately, the evacuation was another loose, splotchy, messy affair. But not as bad as yesterday morning. I withheld going into a Smug-Mode, all the same.

Back to the main room. And as I got some clothes on, I chatted with my family, of fun furries. (Sweetly supplied my HRH Lisa, in the USA♥). They and even I seemed in a decent mood for once.

I got the kettle on and went to do the sphygmomanometerisationing, etc. The temperature first came out at 34.4°c. 93.92°f. I checked on Mr Google, who told me: “Hypothermia is a dangerous drop in body temperature below 35C (average body temperature is around 37°c). It’s a medical emergency that needs to be treated in the hospital! I really can’t understand this? I’ve been in the 34°c areas for over a week now, but no Health personnel have said anything? I wonder if I’ve got it wrong somehow? Hey-Ho! Confusion Conrad with me again. Did the Blood Pressure next. SYS 151, Dia 73 and Pulse 68. I’ll check these on the NHS site. Back in a bit…

Message back: A blood pressure reading of 151/73 indicates Stage 1 Hypertension (high blood pressure). Well, the Doctor knows about this, whether she’s bothered or not, I don’t know. I’m on tablets for high BP… I’ll check again… I found it; the Ramipril is for BP; should I take an extra one… or not? Oh, dearie me! One day last week, my BP was 171/65, but I didn’t feel poorly. The last thing I need is another stroke. Mind you, I’m not all the tickled pink with losing my eyesight and teeth. The hearing is virtually gone, anyway. Innit a life! I olive-oiled the ear-holes. Phorpain gelled the knees.

But I refused to wash or medicate Little Inchies fungal lesion with the darned, Oh sp painful Daktacort. This obviously is because it’s as disheartening as owt I’ve had! And my being a namby-pamby sissy, left it until later. Tsk!

I nearly made a cock-up, and took one of the capsules from Amazon that Esther said help you sleep better. They work for her brother, I think she told me. I got two bottles, one for Carer Richard, who mentioned when I told him of my waking up at night lately that he is suffering the same thing. But we must not take any in the morning, just at night to help us stay nodded-off! Har-har! Nice to be able to help out with him being a good lad.

I made a start on finishing yesterdays blog and got it done eventually. Then tried to make an order for J. Sainsbury’s. But the system was down again. Humph! Had to use Iceland. Ultra limited choice and crazy substitutions are their forte.

Started the template graphics for today’s post, and “Oh, Susana” chimed away as Carer Richard came in! The poor lad had his leg collapse on him last night, get strain and bruising. But, I cheered him up a smidgeon by giving him his CBD Hemp tablets I’d bought for us both to try. A tube of pain gel for his leg. A bottle of spring water, an Easter egg, and a can of plonk. He definitely left happier than he arrived; bless him. Don’t think I’ll see him until the following Monday now.

Richard departed sooner than Herbert kicked off with his tapping and banging. On and off all morning, but not too bad.

I got the kettle on and went back into the balcony to see the end car park parking. As near as I could tell, it looked just like yesterdays snap did? Have I made another cock-up. Whoopsiedangleplop or error? Yes, there is a difference twixt these maladies. Haha!

Back to the kitchen, I made a brew of Glengettie tea and had four chocolate biscuits with it at the computer as I pressed on, slowly getting the blog prepared. I made the top graphic for Bill and Lisa. I hope they like it. Oh, and took this photo above of the dank morning view.

I hope it doesn’t rain and make walking difficult for Richard with his leg – mind you, it would be more difficult perambulating without it. Hehehe! I am a fool!

Good heavens! Where’s the time gone to? It’s 14:00hrs already!

Better make a start on the Local news section then…!

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Animals! Back in a bit, but not happy with the first Snippet at all. Better have a perusal of the YourArea newsletter and get a few graphicalisations to use…

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I am really pissed off with myself now!

I got a rattling shake from Peripheral Pete as I was typing… the keyboard was knocked to the floor via the waste bin. I retrieved it after a while, and the shaking stopped…

Norton had taken over the Google Home page… I’d lost the favourites bar from the screen, and somehow, Gawd knows what I did in those few uncontrollable seconds, but I lost access to WordPress altogether! To make things worse, I had to go for the Porcelain Throne session again… with bleeding as well that had to be sorted – all the time worrying about the computer mess I’d made. Then I hit of all things, my chin on the grab bar rushing to get out of the wet room…To find the History folder had opened up…

When I got back to the computer, I could have cried… in fact I think I did a bit. Anger, self-recriminations, frustrations and a feeling of utter worthlessness enfolded every part of me, mental and physical!

How I avoided becoming a gibbering wreck needs looking into. Well, I didn’t avoid it altogether. Then, I struggled to work out what I had done to get into such a pickle.

It took me a good three hours to get the favourites and font listing back – all trial and error. I found the courage to try things I would usually avoid for fear of destroying something, not the foggiest what I was doing, but my managing getting those two things back was a miracle! Now, I have no Google, but I can access Firefox, and the most fantastic thing, is I now have hundreds of unwanted fonts appearing from somewhere? And they have slowed down the whole computer!

I got a green window come up, and again, I had no idea what it meant; it seemed in part code? Then after a good five minutes, it disappeared from the screen?

The greatest farce, I use the word farce, because I was panicking a lot and had no idea what it was I might have done right, but I now have WordPress back… hang on, I might not have… I’ll have to find out by closing and rebooting I think… It allowed me to save and close everything… Oh please, please, PLEASE, let it open; here goes…

I may be fretting over nothing, but it did let me reboot.

I’ve had the same opening screen saver for weeks now… a new one came up, with the genuine but different photo of me?

The VPN had to be reset or restarted. (Norton).

But I’ve calmed down tremendously now I’ve got back on WordPress. Phew! The tons of fonts are still on. They won’t let me delete them. I’ve got a… Shit my potatoes in the oven… They are relatively well done now.

The Carer will be due soon, I’ve had nowt to eat yet, and I am suddenly so hungry.

Packing in on the computer now. I’ll try to catch up in the morning, feeling a bit nervy now, better get the nosh sorted.

I took this sky view photo while getting the nosh sorted out. Unique cloud formations that look like ridges in the fabric of the sky? Could it be the exhaust from alien invaders spaceships? Hehe!

Again, not a fancy meal, but more than adequate for an old Nottinghamian with vascular dementia, a high heart rate, and losing the plot. Sea salt and butter on the potatoes, the gorgeous podded garden peas from Kenya. Brown, yellow and red mini-tomatoes (All tastier than I thought they may be). A small BBQ burger, a pot of yoghourt. Deserved Taste Rating: 8.6/10! Nothing like being precise? Har-har!

A bit of luxury, then. I put the TV on to watch a football match while eating the meal on the tray, balancing on my bulbous, adipose, abdominous, wobbly, far-too-large stomach.

I fell asleep for the last ten minutes of the game. Then started the search to recover the lost bits of the meal, primarily peas, from the areas they had managed to hide themselves in. Some, in open view (Using the torch anyway).

I hobbled to put the light on so I could see things, unknowingly crunching several peas that had rolled on the carpet en route. Two of which squelched in between my toes and were a painful devil to get at to remove.

Two or three had found their way into the dressing gown pocket. Several in the fleshy folds of the tummy rolls. Some underneath the cushions on the recliner. A few on the side chair used by the Carers… I’m not sure how they got that far or high? Mayhaps, the most surprising escapee pea was found stuck on my left hearing aid! This was not spotted until I had a wash later?

You know that sometimes, Vascular Dementia Doreen can bring forth an amusing little Whoopsiedangleplop or Accifauxpas. That does little harm, and even to me afterwards, as in this instance, can bring forth mirth and the odd self-chuckle! Although stubbing my right big toe while bending to search under the cabinet for skedaddled garden peas was a little painful.

Got the washing up done and off for a wash. (Finding the squashed garden pea on the hearing-aid? Hehehe!)

Belated Carers arrived; due to training new gal, Kiya. Cheeky little monkey, I like her. Offered treat nibbles, said my farewells, but neither gal took the waste bags to the chute for me… so I took them.

Then, I remembered to take one of the new CBD Pure Hemp capsules. I’m hoping they will help with the recent lousy nights of sleep. I’ve been waking up, anything up to twelve times a night, and occasionally more often. Almost jumping or jerking awake. Fingers crossed! But the nurse said that it will take a few days to have any effect.

The capsules are transparent, and the contents look a little like tobacco, or maybe cannabis? Either way, the capsule slipped down easily enough. They are very light, which made me think they may be difficult to swallow, but, no problem. On this first one anyway! Hopefully, in a few days, I can find some proper undisturbed nights of rest? 🙏

The Thought Storms began as soon I got seated in the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety, none-working recliner. But the brain was defending me, I think. The memories of the cock-ups with the computer seemed to be masked? A mystery again as to why. But for some reason, the self-recrimination and hatred were very mild and only fleeting. Only the positive side of the days’ events was mused over??? Those are the only words I can use in describing m thoughts at that time.

In the early hours of the morning, the noise that woke me was atrocious. The loudest ever humming noise I’ve heard? Where from? I’m not sure. It may have been the dreaded not understood ‘Hum’. Or the machinery on the roof of the building? Or even a combination of both. Overnight, my sudden awakenings added up to about only six or so. Please let the Hemp capsules work!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock Today: Diary and Local News Snippets

I woke up with a smidgeon of contentment lurking…
But it wasn’t to last long after the awakening,
I recalled a dream about my baking, breadmaking…
I kept getting it wrong and getting a rollicking…
From a woman who was nasty but breathtaking…
Somehow from the bread mix, I made crackling?
She gave me a kick in the goolies and a smacking!
Yet I seemed to enjoy this… I must be barking…
Next minute I’m under a car looking at the breaking…
Moved on to be with Bill Ziegler, explaining fracking…
Back to the kitchen, the woman sneered and headshaking…
Frying eggs now, the woman constantly nitpicking…
Then I woke up… a daft dream, but thought-provoking!
Well, not really, I was only joking!

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05:25hrs: Tuesday 8th February 2022

I stirred into semi-pretend life to find scribble on the notepad of a dream. The pad lay between my knees; the quilt had been thrown over the Carers chair… Amazingly, there were no signs of nocturnal nibbling.

So, without trying to catch my balance, I dismounted the second-hand, £300, charity shop-bought, gungy beige coloured, rickety, c1968 recliner and staggered ASAP to the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket). As this was being digested into my slowly catching the body up in wakefulness brain, possibly the most urgent for months, a desperate wee-wee was needed, and Bladder Boris was in no mood to be stemmed or delayed! He let me know this, with the usual stabbing pains…

Doing this, Trotsky Terence started to demand an evacuation, and I had to get to the wet room and Porcelain Throne immediately… for he was beginning the movement of his own accord! I feared accidental frontal and rear leakages as I hastened into the wet room…

I hit Shuddering-Shoulder-Shirley against the doorframe on the way in, but this did not stop my pursuit to the Throne. I got the pants down and on the seat with a thud. The action started immediately I was down… well, the rear-end a little before I’d got down. Being Trotsky Terence controlled, you can imagine the extra-mess things made that needed cleaning.

I sat there, Shirley twitching away like a good un, and feeling lucky to get there almost in time, and sorry for myself and ashamed that I didn’t… if you understand what I mean? It was another messy job cleaning me, and the wet room furniture, at least Harolds Haemorrhoids and Little Inchies fungal lesion were not bleeding, so after a bit of thought on my situation. Due to the early release from the read end, and the liquid nature of the evacuation from the rear, some of the product had sprayed onto the porcelain and floor So, I almost cheerfully got the disinfectant and mopped the floor.

I deemed that it could have been a lot worse. And actually cheered up an iota!

By the time I’d cleaned up, washed and dressed, I’m sure I was singing to myself, in fact!

I got the Health Checks done. But this time, things had gone back to their usual worrying levels, Tsk! I suppose the kerfuffle with the evacuations didn’t help matters, so I didn’t worry overly about these figures. Hopefully, they will be back down in the morning again.

The Sys was up a lot (43) at 171, Dia up to (62) 80, and the Pulse up to (69) 76. The body temperature showed 34.8°c, about the same as yesterdays reading was. Oh, it’s a little low, says Google. I think.

Carer Richard arrived shortly afterwards, and he was in a bit of a rush, running late. We still managed a mini-natter. During which the Ocado order arrived. The driver was given a thank you can of pop. He left the bags through the door for me, and I set about getting them into the kitchenette.

Richard sorted the medications, treated him, and after another mini-chinwagging session, he had to go. A good lad.

I started to sort out the incoming fodder. Two Pukka pies I could not remember ordering in there? One was a cheese, leek & potato one? I’m sure I’d have known if I ordered that? It might be a substitute?

Still, it sounds alright to me.

Three cans of curried beans, on offer they were. The tub of C&A lemon mousse was 65p for a tiddly tub! So, I only to one of them. All part of my economy-drive. Hehe!

A mixed bag of stuff on the wheeled trolley server. Orange jelly, bleach and Dettol lavender scented. A quick wee-wee had to be taken! Washed and back to the kitchen sorting.

Another mystery, they had sent two bunches of five bananas? Last week they sent a bunch of ten when I ordered (I think) five? That reminds me, I’ve got some Amazon stuff coming today.

I got the items away in the refrigerator. The two pies, one beef and the cheese as mentioned above, leek & potato Pukka pies, are used by dates on them for four days.

The milk I’d ordered was one massive Welsh organic 3-litre whole milk bottle! I can’t imagine even me ordering a dollop of milk this size. Substitute? Still, I’m chuffed that it is Welsh, as with the Glengettie teabags. There is a streak of Welsh in my family line… someone once told me that, anyway. Dad, I think it was?

Despite the rob-dogging pricing, the Natoora black tomatoes, the large and small ones ordered, were delivered and worth the extra methinks. They are deep and bright red inside. Taste wonderful!

The smaller ones looked like they were made of wood with their colouring. Not had these before, they might taste different, but I’ll give them a go. Not Welsh, these, the large ones are Spanish, which doesn’t bode well, the last ones were Italian, and the small ones are this time. I’ve never taken to tasteless Spanish tomatoes.

Did the blog for a few hours and then made a mug of Thompsons Punjana tea using the new milk. All was fine. Had a mini-packet of Crawfords Mini-Cheddar biscuits, BBQ flavour. Nice enough for me.

Panic suddenly erupted! Cleaner Esther rang the bell and entered my three-roomed domain. Gawd, she can talk! Well, more like barked orders and demands. She likes to be in charge and is, actually. Haha! It’s just that she never stops talking as she moves from room to room. Then on her next visit, she’ll snap, “I told you!” when you say you can’t remember. It’s most likely that I heard just a mumbling sound from a distance; if I try to find what room she’s in to tell her this, she’s moved onto a new set of orders and demands for me… Hehehe! Despite all this, she’s a good-hearted soul, though. Scary, mind!

Pressing on with the blog, I stopped to check Amazon Tracker for the three things being delivered. The Scratchings, Pot Noodles, and Air Spray said earlier; Due at 13:00hrs. Then it was 17:00hrs, now it is 22:00hrs! The Dettol is due 11th to 15th February.

When the intercom rang. A delivery, now that’s service, I thought. The man came up to the flat, which was nice; Amazon usually leaves stuff down on the table in reception.

Great balls of fire! It was the Dettol being delivered?

Thanked the man (GPO, not Amazon) and went to look at the AMazon tracker site once again, thinking I’d got it wrong.

But no, there it was, ‘Arriving 11th-12th February! That really was good service then! I got the bottles stored away, had a wee-wee, and returned to check on the other goods expected. Still, 22:00hrs! Tsk!

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Local News Snippets

Man ‘A’ complained to man ‘B’ about his car being stolen. Mine too replied man ‘B’. They both agreed that there is no deterrent nowadays, bringing back the birch, things of that nature. It turned out it was the son of man ‘B’ who had stolen it.

They may be working retired or in their adolescence,
But will do it again if released and get the chance…
Murderers, I mean belligerence, hatred, but no benevolence…
Lawyers in their defence, utter contabescence!

The violent animals live without respect for life…
Causing fear, being Mr Big… they want to cause strife…
They’ll attack anyone, a Policeman, child or a midwife…
Undoubtedly scum of the earth… Lowlife!

These figures look good,
And indeed they should,
Trust them… if only we could?
Too many lies the proletariat has withstood!

My gambling luck continues, abysmally…
Even on gambles that are supplied for free!
Never do I gamble confidently,
Has anyone never won at all on the Lottery?
Oh, yes, of course, there’s me!
May as well laugh about it, Hehehe!

The Hippocratic Oath,
Was wasted on this oaf!
He thought he was catch proof…
But he made a goof…
He’s obviously uncouth…
But still, sounds aloof?
But from under an HMP roof!

Somehow, I can find no sympathy for him?

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16:25hrs: Tuesday 8th February 2022

Got the Local News section above done, and made a meal. Feeling even more done-in, in now. Forgot to photograph the tray of fodder.

The Amazon man arrived, and Josie at the same time. Josie said one of the lifts were down, so he may be a while getting them up. This time the deliveryman brought all of the parcels up the door. I got them opened and stored away. The Amazon things after sorting, left a lot of cardboard needing to be rubbish sorted. So, I took them originally to go down to the recycling bin. But after waiting for a long time for the one working lift (elevator), I gave up and took them to the waste chute.

I kept banging parts of my anatomy in tiny the waste-chute room, as I tore the cardboard boxes to get them in the lid. I returned with a few bruises. Hahaha!

Too tired and mentally drained to do anymore computerisationing. Not that the food was special at all. Cornish pastie and some BBQ chips, no veg or desserts. I did manage to stay awake long enough to eat it, mind you.

Turned in the TV and fell asleep. But another fitful one, waking every few minutes it seemed. The evening Carer arrived, ringing the ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ chime, she came in. Another new gal to me, Carer ‘Ifra’. Another beautiful young thing. Confident in her duties, had a little natter with me… well, I had a natter with her. Hehe! Ifra took the waste bag with her on leaving, I had to force the treats on her, she chose a can of orange and an Easter egg. Lovely natured gal. Bade our farewells.

Washed the pots, and drifted off to sleep again, this time for three hours! Had a wee-wee, back in the recliner for a five-minute kip; woke again, another wee-wee, head down again… gave up and got up, but I was only half with it…

Inchcock Today: Monday 7th February 2022

Inchcock Today

Monday 7th February 2022

Another wicked nights sleep… although I did nod off about ten times, it’s just the repeated jumping back into wakefulness that annoys me. Another few nights of this, and I’ll have to beg the Doctor to see me. I’ve got her phone number, but I’ve not seen her for a while… now what’s her name? Hehe! Hope I can remember where the surgery is.

I lay there musing of this and that, then realised how late it was. I’m sure there was something I had to remember this morning… But the urgent need of the Porcelain Throne arose.

First, I had to remove my pyknic-shaped grossly stomached body from the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner, and catch my balance; which, considering my need for the toileting, was a long job. Risky, in fact, when Dizzy Dennis had me sat back down against my will, and Harold’s Haemorrhoids took a thudding, I genuinely feared the bowels may take action of their own accord! The second attempt was a success. I grabbed Metal Mickey and made my way cautiously but as fast as I dared to the wet room.

The bowels controlled the release – quick, splashy, leaving a mild churning in the stomach, all over in seconds. And what a messy job it was! Amazingly not a stinky-poo affair, though. Which surprised me somewhat, considering how the innards were still suffering after the evacuation had been completed?

A mammoth cleaning up was then needed. I did find some small areas that were splash-free, but not too many… that includes my rump and legs! An entire newly started toilet roll was needed, then the washing and disinfecting of my parts. Finally, the wet room furniture, escapage and squirts from the floor were done. This was not a good start to the day.

All refreshed, I meandered into the kitchenette, and I got the kettle on the boil. Feeling a smidge queasy now. So I made a brew of Thompsons Punjana instead of Glengettie (It’s not as strong as Glengettie is).

I left the teabag soaking to brew and took a photograph of the morning sky. Then noticed the sun was out high in the sky to my left, so got the Canon on the go again. A three-quarter moon, Tim Price will know what and this is. I live on in ignorance, but I love seeing the moon. Later on, I went into the balcony to take pictures of the morning view after it got a little lighter.

The first shot I took before opening any of the windows. The whole place instantly misted over as I opened the sliding balcony doors.

Hehehe! The view towards Nottingham City Centre had a fabulous hue to it. Not inductive to taking good photographic images, although, of course, this could be just my lack of skills, or better to blame the ailments or camera, yes?

I was impressed again with the end car parkers efforts to create artistic creations of how not to park. Haha!.

I took the brew of Punjana with me to the computer and got on with updating yesterdays blog. I spent an hour or more on it and had to nip back into the wet room again and use the Throne once more! Furthermore, it was a slow process, with Peripheral Neuropathy Pete kicking in and out with the senses of touch.

A lot cleaner this time, but still sloppy. Leaving the wet room, I gave Shuddering Shoulder Shirley a decent bang against the doorframe… Which set Shirley off for a while, but not too painful this time; bless her.

Washed, and as I got back to the computer, Carer Richard entered the flat. Nice to see this lad. We have a lot of things in common. We even share that both of us have Phimosis and Diabetes and are suffering from sleep deprivation in the same way; we keep repeatedly waking up with a jump; thus, getting any rest is not easy. Worse for Richard, with him still working for a living. Cheered me up with that thought! Hehehe!

Richard gave me the prescriptions, and I asked for a Galpharm anti-diarrhorea capsule; in fact, I took two, hoping to curtail Trotsky Terence a bit. I find this brand effective compared to the others I’ve tried… and a reasonable price, too.

I sensed that Richard was a smidge down in the dumps this morning, so I tied to cheer him up a bit. Gave him some extra treats and a bottle of flavoured spring water. He seemed brighter when he left. Taking the waste bags out with him to the chute for me.

I stopped computing and got the ablutions medications tended to. Now Hear This: I forgot to do the teeth, but and however… I did the shaving without a single nick or cut in sight!!! Class One, Grade A, Smug Mode Adopted!

Of course, that didn’t last long. Grunglecuds! Not sure which order these darned Whoopsiedangleplops took place. But this is what I managed to do while in the wet room:

  • Stubbed my toe in the shower against the server trolley.
  • Knocked the bleach over, and the bottle split. To ages to get it cleaned up.
  • Cut down the fingernail with the scrubbing (nail) brush.
  • Slipped and banged Cartilage Cathy’s patella!
  • Water not draining away very well in the shower.
  • Again, I stubbed my toe against the server trolley in the shower.
  • And yet again, on leaving the wet room after cleaning it up, I managed to walk into the door frame without any effort whatsoever! Things are not going well here!

Back on the computer, well behind with everything now. Got a belt-on with the blogging again…About two hours or so later… ♫Oh, Susana♫ chimed forth from the door chime.

It was ILC (Independent Living Coordinator), Obergruppenfürheress and Lap-Top Dancer) Warden Deana. It seems that poor old Jean, or Joan, in the flat below, has water coming in through the ceiling of her wet room… I immediately thought I must have left the tap on! I admit I was sure I must have… panic struck me as we both went into the wet room to check things out!

A couple of months ago, I did leave the tap running, and it flooded the poor gal out; the guilt increased, shame as well…

But hen we got in,  as I say, I fully expected to see a flood of water filling the place, as before… Everything looked normal to Deana; I was just flummoxed yet relieved, oh, so relieved I’d not left the tap running!

The mysteries of Winwood Heights strikes again! The ghosts, wraiths, spectres, cacodemons, apparitions, and other grotesqueries haunt the hallways and lobbies, searching for Inchcock, creating ambiguities, abstrucities, perplexities, misfortunes, botherations, to scare and worry the living daylights out of me. Confuse me, too!

I managed to get visits to Facebook, TFZer and Winwood Heights sites done. Get caught up with the WordPress reader. Then ended up making an order for Amazon. I found a new product on Amazon that should, well, it claims can help restful sleep! So I ordered one for Carer Richard and for me.

Then got the Health Checks done, albeit terribly belatedly.

The BP was another pleasing result. Sys 130, Dia 56, Pulse 72. Very good! 😍

The body temperature on the Chinese (Hong Kong) made by Shenzhen Relee Electronic & Technology Co. Ltd, contactless thermometer, showed 33.4°c, yet another good result, methinks. 😍

It won’t be long before the evening Carer is due. So I went to make myself a good strong brew of Glengettie.

Took this photo of the evening view from the kitchen window.

Then this one, of the apparently underused central car park on Chestnut Walk. And the staff, Meridian and Nottingham City Homes, will have gone home. There must be a lot of folks still working, though.

It’s getting late now. I wonder what happened to the day? Where did it go? Hehe! Then, I took another shot of a similar view to the first one because the lighting had changed so much in such a short time.

I went on CorelDraw and opened the YourArea Emagazine from the Emails to see if any news items were worth making and saving for graphics to use in tomorrow’s blog. There were.

Care Olivier arrived, only her second calling on me. Nice young gal.

Got my nosh of sorts sorted out. It’s been a long day, and I was feeling somewhat drained now. There was no energy or inspiration for anything complicated, so I had some potatoes (buttered) and a pot noodle.

Changed ready for the head-down, got seated in the unwelcome recliner and… ♫ Oh, Susana ♫ from the door buzzer chimed away. An emergency plumber, from the Joans/Jeans flat below, to have a look at the possible reason for the leak. He did find a leak that he corrected, but he didn’t think that it would have been bad enough to have caused the damage that the gal suffered. Hmm?

I started to watch a Crime Documentary on the goggle-box… ZZZ!

Inchies Sunday… Not a pretty sight!

Inchies Sunday… Not a pretty sight!

Endamagements, Endangerments & Endurethments
Few Endearments or Enduring qualities
Not to mention the mixed-up Mental-Mind-Menagerie

The day started with my waking up in a panic…

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Ode To The Dream

The Good old days, some would say,
I’d say, somewhat bleak and acidulously,
Not so, cause, losing my hair, then-fiancee,
Getting shot and doing a drunken bungee…
I even got stung on Little Inchie by a bumblebee!
All the nurse said, taking out the sting? Was, Hehehe!

A lousy sleep again, and to a degree…
Woke up already depressed, did me!
In my protection pants, I found the pen & notepad,
With tons writing about a dream, I’d had…
I added it at the end of Saturday’s blog, begad!
————————————————————–

I kept waking up again all night. Stirred at 04:00hrs, in need of the porcelain Throne… which I visited and utilised for traditional reasons.

It took me an hour! This was due to faecal impaction, the likes of which put last week’s problems in the shade! I even got a few answers in the crossword book done! (Had to cheat on three, though, to get me going. Tsk!)

Made up the ode to the dream and put it at the end of yesterdays Inchcock Today posting. Took a snap of the dark, dank rainy morning and made a brew. It took a while, but I was happy-ish with it.

I decided today for a change. Made a start on Josie’s Sunday lunch treat. I’ll not put the potatoes in the chillies, and cut some spuds up into small chunks, so I can make them crispy in the oven. Then I can lay them atop her chilli-beef (canned), fresh mushrooms, tomatoes, water chestnuts and five different types of beans, with Worcester sauce, beef and BBQ seasoning.

No expense is spared when I treat someone; they get treated! Mind you, if she doesn’t like it, I’ll get a mouthful. Hahaha! If so, I’ll try to show you the scars.

As I checked on Josie’s cooking, it dawned on me that the so-called Meridian Health & Social Care Carer had not been… Again! For the seventh time! Grunglebogcraps!. So, it is a Saturday, there will… No! I’ll try that again… It being a Sunday, there is no one on-site at the flats, and I have to ring their number and get a Control Room, Birmingham, I think last time. And had to go through the rigmarole of explaining who and where I was, etc… Ah, well, here goes…

I found the Nottingham number required, and I gave them a ring. I got the being transferred message and waited for it to be answered; I made up an ode for later while I was waiting.

A lady answered, but only asked my name, no other details this time? Must they have put my number on the frequent caller list? Haha! The lady put on some music for me while she rang the Carer to see what was happening. She returned a few seconds later, telling me your Carer would be with me by 10:30hrs. I thanked her and got on with the blogging, wee-weeing and checking on Josie’s nosh.

I belatedly got the eye drops, ear drops and nasal spraying done and sorted. During which I got two calls from Meridian. The first at 10:40hrs told me the Carer would be there soon. Then at 10:50hrs, to say she was on her way.

I’d just put the chopped spuds in the oven after chopping them up. I wish now that I’d found some of the metal finger-end-chopping-up protections whatsits, whatever. Tsk!

Still, plenty of more finger plasters. And it didn’t bleed much.

Luckily, I was just returning from one of the umpteenth visits to the Porcelain Throne, and I was near enough to the intercom to hear it and see the light coming on. It was the Carer. A sweet-looking young person appeared worried and apologised straight away for being late (Elka, her name). The poor thing explained that no one at Meridian had told her I’d been put on her list! I believe her!

I made sure she didn’t fret and calmed her down by telling her that it was nothing new with Meridian. After she had done the medicationings, I offered her a choice of nibbles as she left, a lot less worried-looking and with a smile on her face! That made me feel good too!

I tackled Josie’s meal presentation on the tray. I was pleased with my effort for once. Of course, whether or not Josie likes the taste with the bit of curry I put in chilli will be found out tonight… no, tomorrow! But it certainly looked different with the roast potatoes cubed around the dish? I treated her to some mandarin sections in orange juice and some spray cream in a plastic pot if she fancied any with the fruit. A can of her favourite brand on G&T. I delivered it dead on time again, oh, I am good… Hehehe!

Josie opened the door, and immediately the roast potatoes seemed to confuse her. She wasn’t a fan, methinks. I thought they would tickle her pink… but no! My precious moments of satisfaction with my efforts crumbled. Ah, well, yer can’t win them all! At least the mandarins, G&T and Yorkie Bar got an ‘A’ from Josie. Hehe!

A smidge deflated; I said my farewells and returned to the apartment. Made the header for this edition of the blog, and for some unknown reason, the wee-weeing started back to its regular routine, which meant no time to get to the wet room, so the NWWB (Nocturnal-Wee-Wee-Bucket) was utilised for the rest of the day and night. With a fair bit of PMAD (Post-Micturition-After Dribbling).

The sun nearly made it out during a nice break in the showers. Quite colourful… until the rain returned. And the darkness with it.

Only a short period (An hour or two) of Herbert suffered up until now. I think he may have gone out.

I tried to defrag the computer and set up a regular defragging every month. But it seems the defragging took only seconds? Is that right? I’m lost again?

Working on the blog, and the sun had a second bash at coming out. I took this shot from the comfort of the computer chair.

BBC1, I got my nosh sorted out straight away. Seeing that Nottingham Forest was live on the free telly. I had a sense that Forest was going to win. Earlier I believed a 1-1 score and penalties – then while I was struggling painfully on the Porcelain Throne, it all came to me. Nottingham Forest really was going to win comfortably.

And boy, did they do it in style!

Premiership league Leicester City were not in the game. It is like Brian Clough’s glory days!

I celebrated by having two pasties, BBQ flavoured chips and tomatoes for my meal. A Cornish pastie, and a beef pastie, too boot! Not a lot!

Flavour-Rating: 7/10.

When I went to wash up the pots etc., the view outside looked amazing. Unfortunately, I have no idea why… I just couldn’t capture the scene as it looked to the eye… then again, with Cataracts, Glaucoma and Saccades in my eyes, it may not be so surprising. Humph!

After cleaning up and getting the kettle on, I spotted to my left, to the South, a cloudless patch of sky with the moon in it. So, I got the Canon and tried again for a decent shot… Best I could manage! You should have seen the other failed attempts. But I’ll not show them, too embarrassing! Haha!

Got off to sleep quickly again. But kept waking up so often… Humph!

The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Inchcock Today: Diary, including the Evening Dream – In Ode

Saturumday 5th February 2022

INCHCOCK TODAY

Back to the horrible nocturnalisationings, like sleeping poorly, again! Oh boy, am I pissed off with this or what! I spent more time awake than asleep last night!

Endlessly waking up with a jump, then working out what time and day it was, and where I was! It was soul-destroying. I should think I must have woken at least two dozen times, more often than not needing a wee-wee! Cursing at my situation every time! Then just when I decided to get up, I fell asleep for the most extended period all night! It lasted for about an hour.

Amazingly, I rose from the uncomfortable depths of the £300, second-hand, decrepit, c1968, rickety recliner, with almost ease! There was a complete absence of any hassle from Reflux Roger, Anne Gyner, Toothache Thomas, Duodenal Donald, Shaking Shaun (although he had a few goes at me later in the morning).

Caught my balance and checked on the legs because Arthur Itis and CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) were both giving me pain the moment I got any weight (And I’ve plenty of that!) on the plates and pins. Vasculitis and venous thromboembolism, and veins were remarkable by their absence!

But it seemed that only CCP and Arthur were worth worrying about. Grrreat!

Indeed, both feet looked in such a fine state I had to take a photo of them. Were they really mine?

This doesn’t happen very often, so I was already preparing to go into Smug-Mode!), that the J Sainsbury order is due this morning, and I don’t have a lot of time to prepare for them, with my getting up so late. Partly dressed (that’s as far as I got all day, Tsk!), I wandered hobblingly into the kitchenette to make a brew of Glengettie. It came to mind…

While the kettle was boiling, I took this snap of the morning view, catching the edge of the window frame to give a perspective of the actual sizing. I’ve forgotten why I thought of doing this now.

As I turned to get the kettle, CCP gave way in the right knee; boy, did she pain me! The knee nearly gave way a few more times as well. I’m hoping nothing like last week with Cathy popping out of her patella socket happens again. The whole joint was aching for hours after this? Mmm?

I made a brew and had a mug of Thompsons Punjana. Took it with me to the computer and made a start on finalising yesterdays blog. And before I could get to drink it, “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫” music chimed up from the door buzzer. It was Carer Cassandra; she was in a much lighter mood this morning. (Meridian Health & Social Care do not have any bosses on duty at the weekend, and Nottingham City Homes have no ILCs (Independent Living Coordinators) working weekends either). I assume that this is why the Carers are a little more cheerful? Unless, of course, some Carer has not turned up or left the job (a lot of them do that!), and that they have been called in to cover, of course. Haha!

Cassie soon got the medications sorted, and we even ad a little natter… well, I did. Har-har! Cassie departed, taking my waste bag with her, and I went to make another mug of tea…

I knocked over the milk bottle, but it only fell on its side, which I appreciated muchly and took a photo of it to prove that I do sometimes have good luck… in a way.

The intercom flashed; I presume it sounded as well, but I couldn’t hear it. Pressed the release button, and within two minutes, the ♫Oh Susana♫ tune rang forth again”. Grand deliveryman took the boxes through to the kitchen for me. Only four items missing out of stock this week. Much better than last week’s 14! Got the fresh stuff sorted and stored away in the fridge. The fridge is now looking well-stocked again but not overloaded.

A few items of cleaning and bleaching were put in the cupboards in the wet room and kitchenette.

Putting the canned cupboard supplies away cost me a lot of time. Peripheral Neuropathy Pete’s nerve ends lost contact a few times while I reached up to put them on the shelves.

In fact, I ended up throwing a couple of items up to the top shelf, but I don’t think anything broke.

Having said that, I’m sure I have more than a few dented cans in there now. However, I’m well off for kinds of vinegar seasonings and have a few cans of various vegetables to fall back on… not literally mind. Although, if CCP (Cartilage Cathy’s Patella) has her way, shell have me over some time today. I can feel her efforts, little twinges, in readiness to floor me!

Got the fodder away and applied some of the impotent, not fit for the job, but better than nothing, Phorpain gel rubbed well into the kneecap vicinity. I also took an extra Codeine 30g tablet. Because each time I put pressure in the joint, I can now feel a sort of grating from within the knee. Along with the seconds long periods of it feeling like it’s going to give, then it comes back? Ah well, fingers crossed!

I took a couple of pictures from inside the balcony. Of the end car park and Chestnut Walk below the front of the building. The red van man continues to park on the yellow hatched area and the White hatchback on the double yellow lines. And they say young men are bad drivers?

Whilst doing the blog, the lighting charged rather quickly outside.

Took a photograph of the changed sky colouring. I think this means rain on the way?

The weather made a liar of me within ten minutes, the sky turned blue, and a contrail showed up. Caught it with the Canon.

Back on the computer, I heard a clattering noise to accompany Herberts tap-tapping. I was sure it came from the kitchen, so I got up to investigate the clatterings source. But without any success, I’m afraid.

I had a go on Facebooking, Winwood Heights and the TFZer site. After about an hour or so, a loud (well, it would have to have been for me to hear it) similar metallic-sounding noise was heard again? I got a little confused as I could listen to Herbert above knocking away again. But, I felt the metallic sounds were coming from the kitchen. But, again, could find no cause of them?

All a part of the mysteries of Woodthorpe Court, with the hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, ghost, the grotesque succubae, extraterrestrials, ectoplasms, spirits, or the Fata Morganas, and pretentious, uppity, snobby, pernickety, smug, stuck-up, neighbour above, that have been sent to taunt, irritate and terminate my already limited saneness of mind? I really believe that it did not come from the sanctified, consecrated, uncommunicative, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, arrogant slimeballs apartment above. Mmm?

I thought later, could it be the contents of the food cupboards that I could not get in the cupboard properly?

So, off into the kitchenette for yet another investigation.

As I searched each cupboard again, silence fell from Herbert’s flat. Oh, I hope he’s not dropped dead or is poorly… Ahem!

I couldn’t find owt not in order, or that could have caused the mystery racket?

The expected rain was coming down.

Decided to do the Medical Checks and just look at the BP figures that I got from the sphygmomanometer!

The lowest I’ve ever had! Brilliant! But baffling.

This follows a series of readings: SYS 168 Dia 62, SYS 148 Dia 76, SYS 149 Dia 62, now the excellent SYS 117 Dia 66! Yee-Haa! Fully in the Green for the first time ever!

The pulse was 74, and the body temperature 34.6°c. I think that is okay too!

Then I gave the knee another covering of the Phorpain gel.

The right knee still looked a smidge knobbly and was still a grating feeling when I applied any pressure as I walked. It doesn’t look or feel like it

is Arthur Itis playing up, rather more as if it is Cartilage Cathy.

However, the spider and veins were all looking well down today. The DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis) clumps had disappeared!

Blimey, where’s the time gone to? The Carer will be here soon, and I’m not changed or had anything to eat yet! I treated myself to a lemon Viennese biscuit.

Got the oven on to use later to cook the beef pastie and some chips. Then plodded on with updating this blog.

A short bout of noise from Herbert. He just wants me to know that I have no chance of him stopping making noise, Bless Him!

I was preparing the late nosh, when the sound of ♫Oh, Susana♫, indicated the arrival of the evening Carer, Valerie tonight. I remembered I had an Easter Egg for her in the spare room, and I fetched it for her. She read some dates of the food in the kitchen for me, all were in date. Phew! She sorted the medications for me and was soon off, but tonight we did manage a mini natter, which was nice. Valerie took the waste bags to the chute with her. ♥

I got the meal finished and served onto the plate and tray. A sourdough baguette for one, which was delightfully tasty! BBQ seasoned sliced potatoes, yellow and red tomatoes.  I put a pot of dipping sauce on the tray, mainly for the sourdough-dipping. Hehe! The Cornish pastie was a different one this time. J Sainsbury’s pack of four. It shamed Iceland’s and Morrison’s ones, and had real flavour with not too much spicing in it… oh, and the sliced mini-bits of spuds were nice to the palette. A pleasant surprise for me. Overall, a Flavour-Rating of 8.2/10… got to be precise on these things. Hehehe!

The sleep was better than of late. Only about six shooting-awakes all night. On the last one, I woke remembering some bits of a dream I’d been having. There is an Ode to the Dream Ode, I wrote in the morning:

Ode to the Dream Ode

It’s a long time since I recalled summat I was dreaming,
In a room with many folks, like at a housewarming…
Female admirers around me were swarming!
Even in the dream, I didn’t become assuming…
Why me, all around were young men, convening,
Every one of them, the ladies were declining…
I could tell, to the lads, this was disheartening…
Even to me, this was a little disquietening!
It is me, that the girls wanted to be entwining…
What the heck is going on, happening?
One of the girls was particularly endearing…
Plump gal, about 35, and we hid, our bodies exploring…
She said she was pleased I chose her…Amazing!
How come all the girls suddenly find me appealing?
She said, Helen, I think, it was because of your blogging?
And we started cuddling and snogging…
“But, why, Helen?” I couldn’t resist inquiring…
“We’re all after your recipe for cheesy potatoes, darling!”
Which put an end to our session of pleasuring…
The dream seemed to morph into another rumination,
I was underground in a massive cave, fireflies flickering…
In the dark shadows in and out of view, flittering…
What, who they were, teased my imagination…
I searched, but I could not catch them, disheartening!
I could hear them babbling, mayhaps alien talking?
Aliens or ghosts, either way, I needed verification…
For the fireflies, they seemed to have an affection?
Then I heard a new sound, all around, tintinnabulation,
Damn it, the dream moved on to a railway station!
I was obviously waiting for a train,
Luggage around me, but no ticket to use, who to blame?
Searched my pockets, again and again…
My panic was becoming a pain…
The announcer said something about a train to Dunblane?
Walking on the platform, I saw Neville Chamberlain?
Waving an Amazon card at me, the dream started to wane…
I wanted to stay, learn 1940’s life, I tried to remain…
But, Herbert’s banging about woke me up again!

The Nottingham Lad’s Diary – With Odeing

Inchies Friday Diary: Festivities, gaiety and other fibs! Hehe!

Fort Thomas News Exclusive!

After several years of collecting scientifically challenging reference books, Professor Billum and his partner HRH Lisa, who are now stuck indoors due to the snow, are tackling the job of reducing the number of books in his basement library. He hopes to make room to expand his laboratory and thus, make more room for his medical experiments. Inchcock (rear) said; the task is phenomenal.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Inchies Friday Diary
Jollities, Festivities, Gaiety and other fibs!

I fang you! A decent kip for once; I reckon I only jumped awake about six times overnight. Not good, of course, but better than the preceding three evenings efforts.

By the time I’d clambered tottering dangerously out of the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, haemorrhoid-testing, rickety recliner and caught my balance, I realised how evil the eyes were this morning. So, first job the drops, let them settle, then put some of the sprays on them. After this, they were no worse, and maybe I imagined it but seemed a little better than when I woke.

The ablutionalisationing was tackled first, even before thinking of making a brew of Glengettie tea (Worrying that?). It might be the fact that each time I woke up during the night, spongy emissions of wind were evacuating out of the rear end, and Reflux Valve Roger was sticking a bit, then bursting forth, painfully for a minute or two? But, I felt a little stinky, I thought – mayhaps the rear end emissions were going on while I was asleep?

I got inside the wet room, and the mind meandered off on its own. I got the shower going! Boing! I totally forgot what the time was, and after getting the teeth done and shaving with only two tiny minor nicks, thus assuming a Smug-Mode… I still didn’t recognise what I’d done at that time, and I merrily whistled (Which is getting harder each time I lose another tooth) and sang gayly to myself as I started doing the medicationalisationings.

Which soon put an end to the Smug-Moding, whistling and singing! As usual, I got the potentially most painful job of cleaning and creaming Little Inchies fungal lesion out of the way first. Agony! There are no pain or problems with the Saccades eye drops, Harold’s Haemorrhoids cleaning and creaming, ears oiling, or Arthur Itis Phorpain gelling.

As I was about to increase my level of smugness, it dawned on what time it was… and I’d just used the noisy shower – Guilt overerflowethed!

A Carer arrived, name? Erm… Gorrit, Cassie! She was to take the laundry for me on Fridays, starting today. I had got the bag and capsules softener all ready for her. She did the medicationings, and I treated her to some nibbles and a drink, and off she went.

Onto the computer to finalise yesterdays blog and post it. A message came in on the mobile, it was from Iceland Foods… Ah, I hear you now asking – Why did the pillock have another order from Iceland? The silly old goat had one yesterday?

Ahem! Well, that would be due to my Wednesday and Thursday’s Whoopsiedangleplopping. I made some cheesy potatoes for Richard and got his visiting day wrong. So, I gave them to Valerie, who came. Then Thursday, when Richard was calling, I made another dollop of cheesy potatoes for Richard again – then, I had no potatoes left. Hahaha! So I made a minimum order for today to get some more spuds for myself to have. That’s about right, I think.

The rain started to fall, but not too heavily. Then began to get a little threateningly darker out there.

I took this picture from inside the balcony, too wet to open a window.

Shortly, the Intercom rangeth. The Iceland delivery had arrived. I pressed him in, and I hoped it would not be the same driver as yesterday, or he might think me a bit of an idiot having a dirty-great big order, then another on the following day. He’d be right if he did, by the way!

He carried the bag of spuds separately, only two carrier bags, and he took them into the kitchen for me. Haha! I wish the bloke yesterday had taken the eight bags into the kitchenette for me.

I thanked him and let him choose which can of plonk he fancied, and off he trotted with a cheery farewell.

I’m glad I remembered to get the drain-unblocker. Not a lot to sort out this time. I got some cheapo Beef Jerky to go with the freebies to make the minimum order. Oh, and some Cadbury mini rolls.

Sister Jane rang, or did I ring her? One or the other. Dementia Doreen again. Total blank on what we spoke of… indeed am I thinking of yesterday? Sad, innit?

I then rang Obergruppenfürheress, Warden and Ballet Dancer, Deana. Not seen her for a while. The gal was at home. She’d tested positive for SARS-CoV-2 and had been isolating. She hopes to be back on Monday. I said I was ringing to let you know you hadn’t collected your treat bag this week – now I knew why! Said they would keep until Monday. Haha! Nobody tells us owt, do they?

And an hour or so later, the door chime rang out its’ ♫Oh, Susana♫ chime, and in walked Carer Valerie. She had collected my washing for me, and she’d brought it up to me. Bless her cotton socks! She said she’s made sure they were dry enough for me.

So, I got off of the blogging and sorted out the clothes. By gum, that bag holds a lot of stuff. Hehe!

I got in a pickle, found the coat hangers, put some on the door, and spent a good while faffing about. Then realised I was not doing this in a planned, smooth way… Hahaha! 

I meant to put all the rousers together on a rack and jumpers shirts on the other.

Which seemed like a logical thing to do.

However, Dementia Doreen had other ideas for me. I ended up with a mixture of trews and jammies on one rack and trews, jumpers and shirts on the other. Ah, well, at least I got them hung so the creases can fall out a bit.

The toploftical, unforthcoming, ascetic, eremitic, aloof, sniffy attituded Herbert had been giving me some tapping on and off for an hour or so. Now, he’s just gone into Turbo-Tapping and Banging mode! What a Git! Mind you, let’s not forget my Whoopsiedangleplop with using the shower early in the day? The difference, I think, is snot-bag superior Herbert enjoys doing it on purpose?

I made a rare mug of Thompsons Punjana tea. As the rain stopped and the sun fought its way through to shine on Inchcock Towers… well, Woodthorpe Court then. Hehehe! I grabbed the Canon camera and took this photograph of the view.

Then the hungers-pangs began, and my desire for some more cheesy baked potatoes overcame me. I got up some steam (I was starting to feel a bit weary) and started to prepare the third on the trot (4th Counting Carers Richards and Valerie’s) Cheesy Baked Potatoes meal!

Cheesy Potato Nosh – Flavour Rating 9.3/10!

Note: Only the four half spuds? No, not self-control; I made eight and kept three to cool and have later on (Cunning?). I would have had four, but I dropped one when putting it from oven to pot – it splattered onto the floor and a slipper, which both needed attention, cleaning sorting out. I may have muttered something along the lines of “Oh, bother?” Then, I feasted on the meal, put the tray on the Ottoman, passed wind and belched… and Flake-Out-Time!

Herbert started clanking and clunking away again, and I woke to his mechanical overture. Hehe! Pig!

Luckily it didn’t last too long this time. And I drifted off again. To be woken by the tune of “♫ Oh, Susana… ♫ chiming out. The evening Carer had arrived. She was in a rush, so no chinwagging was permitted on this occasion. Off she trotted, bless her.

I spotted the meal things on the Ottoman, and I took them to be washed and put away. Noticing the lack of wonderful sun-setting after three days of gorgeous one, I stood and had a perusing of the evening sky. I realised that even with the absence of the usually vivid colours for the last few days anyway, there was still a beauty to be beheld.

Getting daft or soft on my old age, or not?

I went onto the computer to work on the blog and visited Facebook, the TFZ and Winwood Heights sites.

Went on CorelDrawing; Herbert was doing the odd banging about, so it was not until gone midnight before I got my head down; off I went and slept a bit better, only about five shooting awakes.

ODE OF THE DAY

Wants (Peace) & Not Wants (Herbert)

Cataract operation, before it’s too late – appealing!
A friend with time for long chinwagging,
Someone who doesn’t hate or finds me appalling…
But I don’t blame them, and that’s a bit galling!
One tablet to stop my shaking and trembling…
The ability to once more try cartwheeling?
The willpower for me to stop earwigging,
A better than Warfarin pill, stop the haemorrhaging,
But most of all, I’d want, after some deep thinking…
The end of people, domineering,
And those who go around sneering,
Those who cannot care have empathy are non-obliging…
The know-alls who go around rubbishing…
Rushing, superior in outlook, verbally scathing…

Compassionless animals, one lives above me,
Above my little independent living flat, you see…
I nicknamed him Herbert, and he’s not trouble-free…
He makes noise at all hours, sometimes the whole day,
He’ll start again today, I guarantee…
He acts superior, and nonchalantly,
But, the things he’s roisterously making go to charity…
The housing officer says no cause to moan, apparently,
So I won’t, or might lose the flat, alackaday!
So untouchable Herbert will carry on noisily…
He’ll keep waking me at night, arbitrarily,
I must resist responding early morningly…
What can be done redeemingly?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, seemingly…

KEEP SAFE IN THE SNOW
Keep safe all of you, affected by the snowstorms please,
If you can, avoid driving and soirees,
Polish your ottomans and tallboys?
And for even more joys…
Try canned beans and saveloys?
Sew the missing button on your corduroys?
Have warming wine delivered by Pomeroys?
Play great music, possibly by the Beachboys?
But don’t contact the killjoys!

Inchcock Today: Diary with Ode

LAST NIGHT’s CATCH-UP

I decided to get some Cheesy Potatoes done for Carer Richard when he comes tonight.

I soon turned into an uglier imitation but albeit me a smaller one, a younger one, less fodder-wise, shorter, and an older one, of Gordon Ramsay. Hehe!

I even donned my Toque. I thought it would be an unexpected treat for Richard, and all my remaining concentration went into getting it prepared properly. I intended to make it the best I could, and luckily Peripheral Neuropathy Pete was helping by not playing up too much. This is good! I thought, so I pressed on conscientiously and even felt a bit proud of my efforts. Smug-Mode-Assumed. I got the last potatoes in the oven, and they were done in no time. I got them out on the chopping board added all the seasonings you can see in the photo above. Then bashed the living daylight out of potato flesh and mature, strong cheddar, adding Squid sauce (liquid salt), BBQ seasoning, spirit vinegar, Worcester sauce and a dirty great-chunk of butter! It took ages to get it all to mix together, I don’t know how long it took me, but I was all weary-armed by the time I got the shells back in the oven to brown off. Haha!

I was feeling even smugger when they came out almost perfect! Well, as I would have liked them too. I was planning on four for Richard, two for me… I ate mine straight away!

The door chime played its Oh, Susanna tune, and I anticipated Richard coming down the hallway, but whoever was buzzing did not come in. I realised why when I got to the door – “I’d left it locked form when I took my shower!” What a plonk!

Opened the door to see Carer Valerie. I’d made yet another cock-up! I thought Richard said he was coming tonight, but Valerie told Richard is coming in the morning. So, I gave Valerie the cheesy potatoes. I packed them in foil and put them in a bag for her, and she seemed to like the look of them, which made me content cause Valerie is a good gal to me. Wished her farewell, and she took the waste bags to the chute with her, for me.

Before I turned off the computer, I had a look at my Google Calendar for the next few days. And son realised I had not put some things down… although I really was confident that I had done? So, I added them!

Checked on my plates and legs; they were a lot better looking than yesterday. As I was just about to start getting smug again…

I felt the wet warm sensation of gushing blood within the protection pants. I hastened to the wet room to find, with maximum embarrassment, it was not blood but urine! The recent bouts of smugness were abandoned and replaced with a dollop of shame and ignominy! Depression threatening!

I started on the Health Checking in a slightly lower state of joy and contentment. The body temperature seemed fair enough. Got everything cleaned and medicated and changed into the night attire.

The sphygmomanometerisationing showed the Blood Pressure was up a smidge, at Sys 148, Dia okay at 68, and the temperature read 86. Nowt much to worry about; I’ve had a lot higher at times.

I was well tired when I got changed and medicated. The eye drops ought really to be called nose or mouth drops, in my case… Humph! Despite Shaking Shaun kicking off, I must have been tired, for I was off to sleep in a flash.

I was soon woken up by Herbert bashing about. At this time of night, it might not be late for some, but it is me, 22:00hrs gone! The ungregarious, unamiable, unloquacious, haughty, pompous, git! Still, he soon stopped. This may have had something to do with hitting the roof with my walking stick…

Which serves me right, cause I stubbed my toe getting back in the £300, second-hand, c1968, cringingly-beige-coloured, not-working, rickety, incommodious, grotty recliner. Tsk!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Thursday 3rd February 2022

I woke up (I do that sometimes you know), and a renewed inspiration took place. I intend to get the cheesy potatoes ready for when Richard calls; he will not be done out of his treat. I laid there and pondered on the logistics of my desire with the cheesy spud making:

  1. I only have a few small potatoes left to use
  2. This will mean I cannot refill the skins for him…
  3. I’ll heat the potatoes, then give them a good mix and bash with the cheese (plenty in the fridge) and seasonings.
  4. Put them in an oven dish.
  5. Timing will be critical, though. Richards ETA, 06:30 to 07:30hrs… Mmm!…
  6. Fingers crossed, I’ll make a start then…

The pots were put in the oven cooking, and I did some blogging. Then got the tubers out and sliced them. I’d got the cheese in the basin all ready with the seasonings already in it. I then took the flesh out to mix in the bowl…

Got the cheesy spuds in the tray and back into the oven. They were soon all looking good and browned off pretty well.

I removed the tray, burning my fingertips as I did so. Then tidied up the appearance, and I wrapped it all in tin foil and awaited Richards arrival.4

I dropped the small husks back in the oven and nibbled them a few minutes later. Nice! I’m afraid I’ve got the taste back for cheesy potatoes. I ordered Iceland to get their baking potatoes and some wine for someone or other. Not saying in case they read this. As I was starting the order, today’s Iceland order arrived.

I’d forgotten I’d already ordered some wine, which was delivered today with the other stuff. I can tell you now, it was for Sister Jane and hubby Pete. I’ll ring them later to say to them they can collect them.

I’m not so sure about the Iceland new Fruit & Salad desserts. In fact, I don’t recall ordering them? But, there you go.

Minutes later, Richard arrived. The lad seemed a little tensed up for some reason to me. He didn’t seem exactly jumping with joy at the meal I’d made for him. But kind enough to take it anyway. Methinks Richard is having some bother of some sort. I hope whatever it is turns out right for him. I hobbled him to the door and wished him well as he departed, taking the waste bags with him. Bless him!

Back to the blogging. Got a call from Sister Jane and told her about the wine awaiting her pleasure. Then the Haematology Nurse, Hristina, arrived. She was in a rush again but chatted while she took the blood. Gave her an Easter egg, but I had to almost force her to take it. Hahaha!

Sudden Dizzy Dennis visit, joined shortly with shaking Shaun. Not too good this.

Mind-Wanderings and pointless Mental Memorabilia

A gal once asked me, I think her name was Gloria?
Have you ever experienced utter euphoria?
We then got grips and a bit overfamiliar…
She asked again; I said no, and we ate a veggie burger.

Christine later said, she thought me peculiar,
So I didn’t see her again and chased after Julia…
I liked her, although she was older and ganglier,
But she didn’t take to me, she was always wiser…

Then a gal who was brawnier, my beloved Grizelda!
Encounters of passion, she wore no brassier…
Her body was all firm and desirably muscular,
While it lasted, I did find utter euphoria…
She was visiting the UK, from Mülheim an der Ruhr,
Grizelda went home, leaving me feeling sadder!

Then came Fern, for me, she was classier…
Sex-mad, but grumpy, niggly and crotcherier…
And it has to be said, she was much clumsier,
She’d greet me with not a smile, but leer…
Proving her to a smidge superior…
With pleasurable connections, she couldn’t be freer!

I’m writing this rubbish cause I’m having a Thought Storm,
My wording and writings, not precisely in the artform,
What can you expect from someone so lowborn?
Musical, me? I did try to learn the fluegelhorn…
Also the piano, private lessons from a Capricorn…
One lesson and he said ‘You shouldn’t bother’: with scorn!

My bank balance is getting nearer to being overdrawn…
So, I’ll not be going holidaying to climb the Matterhorn,
Or my dream, of going on a boat around Cornwalls Zawn,
Hello, I just had an attack from Shaking Shaun,
Better stop now, clear up my on the floor sandwich of brawn!

Part of The Nottingham Lads True Tales of Woe

Hehehe!

Wednesdays Sunset – Bootiful!

Sherwood’s Sunset, daunting, yet so picturesque,
Almost like it was designed by an artist…
With the aid of an abstractionist?
Believe me, viewing it, I heard a clarinettist…
Playing Stranger on the Shore, perfectionist!

The scenes almost spoke to me,
My worries were replaced, temporarily,
I began to think, rather melancholily…
When I snuff it, I’ll miss these sunsets, sadly!

For all my worries and ailments, I feel lucky…
Though I may be writing circumlocutorily…
In bad odeing too, but that comes naturally,
It brings on a desire to be conciliatory!
And admiration seems so obligatory!.

At this moment of photographing…
I don’t want to visit Beijing,
Go skiing or backpacking…
Have sex, or go mountain scaling,
I made a spot of decision-making…
Enjoy nature; I find it so enthralling!.

Hello, the cold rains started drizzling,
The winds are getting up, more nature enabling?
This means other worries are expelling…
The thought of getting back to normality is dismaying!

Back to the day to day stuff means disentangling,
Pleasures of Mother nature at work, disengaging…
Making a brew, having a wee-wee – blood-curdling!
I think it’s time I went for some counselling?

Editor Inchcock, happy as usual!

Inchcock Today: Diary, photos mostly, with the odd ode

I’d like to start with an embarrassment. Last night Caring Carer Julie came to sort me out. Julie, being the kind soul who got my pamphlets sent to HRH & Billum, in America all done for me. It wasn’t until the gal had left that a terrible, sickening thought came to me…

Old Photo of an old Nottinghamian

I can’t recall paying her for the packages and postage! Guilt runs through me, now. After all the time and efforts she’s spent helping me out as well. I tested my Vascular Dementia affected memory… I fear the worst and am pretty confident I have not paid my dues to Julie. If she might read this… Please, forgive me, and please remind me on the next call… Please! Sorry! ♥

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Photographicalisations From Yesterday

Morning Chest Way Car Park

I can’t remember when I took either picture,
It’s light, must have been late morning, I gather…
Off to the Porcelain Throne, I did jaunter…
All went well, no mess or blood to encounter,
Realised I’d left the walking stick in the shower,
The wet room I did reenter…
Went back… the funk I’d made I did encounter!.

I did take a photo of the car park, but as regularly occurs, for some reason: It didn’t make it onto the SD disc? As with the photograph I took of meal yesterday.

See the photo on the left? A fine example of when Inchcock fumbles about trying to put eye drops in.

I’ve found the missing snap of Sunday’s lunch though…or was it Mondays? Erm, yes, Monday’s! I’m nearly positive it was… I’ve taken to the Iceland beef pasties, a few onions and potatoes in it too.

 

 

 

Sunset photos, again of the beautiful blue-purple hue. There is something about this type of sky that makes me remember from about 1665, I’ll try that again, 1965. Hehe! TA manoeuvres on Exmoor. Each night then, the skies looked like these do. Nothing remarkable or exciting happened, but I did adore the view… Oh, no, we were needed (RAMC field unit) once, to dig out a fragment splinter from a Norwegian squaddies belly. Har-har!

I worked diligently on the blogging. Making more mistakes and losing aeons of time in finding out what I’d done wrong and fumbling bumbling about to correct things. I still don’t know how I kept getting into a pickle, or how I got out of them.

Vascular Dementia Doris and Peripheral Neuropathy Pete, I imagine. Well, I know it was them. Hehe!

Esther arrived to do the washing

And I got an ear-bashing…
For wearing the wrong slippers, not hearing…
Buying things I don’t need, that she is cleaning,
Talking to me she walks away in a twinkling…
I hear her talking… babble not the words, so enraging!
She demanded a mug of tea, so I got brewing…
Esther rarely stopped still, to do her chinwagging,
She checked the kitchen drawers, foraging…
Her criticisms were ever-burgeoning…
The constant talking was very confusing,
Words muttered from the other room, absquatulating,
I got a few words in… well, I was attempting…
She even spoke through the door, as I was urinating!
Even when at times my mind was raging and racing…
Struggling to understand her, patience shortening…
Yet she’s such a character, I do find her engaging,
Never bored when is aboard, I’m not complaining…
It’s just that she sets my mind trampolining!

Sunsetting shots from the kitchen window

This is the new TV remote, that Esther sorted out for, and told me to order from Amazon. Why do I put this in the blog? I’ve lost the old one again, which I found after getting this one! Sad, innit?

Evening Carer Julie arrived, full details near the top of this page (photo). This is the first picture I took of my American gem, Julie. As you can see, I was a bit shaky at the time. Shaking Shaun! But Julies attention made everything feel so much betterer! ♥

I  thought I’d update you are my mission to get three of the green house icons in the YourArea magazine. I’ve never got more than one, in months of doing them daily. Ah, well!

Off in Search in Sweet Morpheus…

After five nights of forever waking up, but fortunately nodding off pretty quickly again… but not for long, the waking has been so often, regular, at times five minutes between them! I’m even thinking of seeing the Doctor about it… What am I saying… see the Doctor… Hahaha! I can’t even remember what she looks like, it’s been that long since I saw… erm… what is her name now? It’ll come to me… or not.

I nodded off quickly tonight. Although the waking ups were there all the time once more, however, there was a lengthier time in between them. I reckon I only stirred about five or six times. Which sounds bad enough, but was far less than the preceding few evenings. I am expecting now I’ve said that something else will take over in annoying me… it usually does!

Good Morning

Up like a lark, 25 press-ups, a bit of shadow boxing, ten minutes on the weights, lifted…

Well, alright then. I woke and needed a wee-wee, as I got up to catch my balance, I ended up on my bum on the floor! This released the urine, burst some of Harold’s Haemorrhoids, and the jammie-bottoms pulled against Little Inchies fungal lesion, and the blood flowed! Not a good start to the day at all! But did it bother me? Yes, it did! Krugnangles! The next two hours or so I spent cursing, spitting, feeling sorry for myself, fed-up, medicationalisationing, cleaning things up, and generally at a low ebb!

I’m just so glad there is no CCTV in the flat. Because my limping to the wet room and medical box, walking as if I’d mucked myself, to hold in the blood and pee, was most embarrassing. I shouldn’t really tell you of these things, but it is a fine example of what may happen to the whippersnappers in later life, and how to contend with it? I’ll tell you how…

After the natural first reaction, as with me this morning; you can always find that something is going to temporarily improve your outlook, and often does.

Tips, Warnings & Advice For Whippersnappers

In my case, after medicating things, I had a shave… with zero nicks or cuts! Which hasn’t happened for months since the stroke. A positive there! Please read these tips, or you’ll kick yourself for absorbing this advice in fifty years or so. Be prepared! Know what you might have to contend with; I wish someone had warned me!

  • Next, forget all about what has happened, and make a brew of Glengettie tea. (With Vascular Dementia Doris, I have no choice other than to forget things, so, another positive there, see?)
  • Of course later on something will remind you… Little Inchie may start bleeding again, Arthur Itis may turn nasty with your knees, or Little Inchies fungal lesion, or Harold’s Haemorrhoids, may start to bleed again? (As they did for me) Just bad luck, that is!
  • After treating whichever ailment is in need of it, the old memory will fade again… it’s got its advantages as long as you look at it in the right way… which you will have forgotten by now.
  • Leaving the hot water (faucet) tap running, forgetting food is cooking, dropping something when you get Shaking Shaun on the job, toe-stubbing and walking into doorframes due to saccades, glaucoma, cataracts and stupidity, seem to be the most popular with me, currently.
  • Forgetting appointments and deliveries or if you had made an order at all, will play havok with your supplies situation. Combined with the substitutions from the supplier, you could well end up with four bottles of bleach, twelve (minimum) unliked cans of various substituted food in the cupboard, and no milk or bread… then I’m afraid the substituted can of processed pea and the mangled can of mulligatawny soup will just have to be tackled!

The state of the feet and ankles fair cheered me up a bit. Much better!

It was just bad luck when I stubbed my toe leaving the wet room. Humph!

The veins in the legs seemed to be all calmed down as well. See? Cheery news from the depths of depression! Not all good mind, Arthur Itis’s knees, and Shaking Shaun were both playing up. See that? Another positive there! If you are lucky enough to have so many complaints, illnesses, ailments etc., you will never get bored. Now, will you?

Got a brew of Glengettie made, and took this picture of the morning sky from the kitchenette window.

Yes… alright, I trapped my finger closing the window! It didn’t hurt, no bleeding, no scratches or bruising. Yet another positive! I suppose it depends on which way you look at it? For some reason, despite the painful awakening kerfuffle and pain, I’m feeling in good form. (Which must go some way to explaining Doris Dementia? 

On with blogging until Carer Richard arrived. Lovely to have someone who is not in the rush-in-don’t-converse and off again standard. Going to make some cheesy spuds today, I’ll make some extra for the lad to try.

I’ll make a start on them, times getting on…

Pictures; If they come out alright, on the next blog!

Change of plans – someone just called to tell me there is a parcel down in reception for me. I was sure I had not got anything ordered. I thanked the lady and hobbled down to collect my surprise delivery from the lobby.

When I got down, there wasn’t a parcel for me, but were for numbers 82 and 74. Bless the lady, I think she got confused with the numbers. Got back to the flat, and the baked cheesy potatoes were already cooked. Blimey, they will hopefully keep for Richard and not spoil. I can put some in foil for him, then he can either eat them here or take them home. I do hope they keep for a couple of hours. Can’t put them in the fridge until they have cooled properly.

I’ll get this finished and posted off now. I’ll use the late photographs in tomorrows world-famous Inchcock Today blog. I just hope my hoard of fans doesn’t mind. Still, they are both decent sorts.

TTFNski, each.

Inchcocks Local News Snippets in Odes – Issue 4⅜

Nor Human Traffickers!

Local News Snippets in Odes – Issue 4⅜

What do you think has caused this stabbing?
The first thing that comes to mind involves drug taking,
Perhaps it could be protection racketeering?
Lot’s of affluent students in Nottingham educating?
Of course, with kids, there’ll be sex rampaging,
And students getting drunk, meths drinking?
Which is more interesting than wordsmithing!
No doubt greed, jealousy, drugs or loathing!

They say it’s the twelfth fire on this estate…
The third in two months, a dodgy state,
Most on sites involving freight…
Or waste, recycling bases, what does this connotate?
I’ll let you know if I find out owt at a later date…

The gal had been taking drugs into prison, for hubby,
Well, they are not married; they met at a drugs orgy,
Making the prisoner an awful lot of money…
Well, for highs, they both have an affinity…
The Judge showed a lot of affability…
‘Go home and give your children a big kiss?
That sounds a bit naughty and cheeky?
From a Judge? What the hell is this?
I don’t want to sound finicky…
Does he want her to supply him cocaine or a kiss?
Mayhaps on the day the Judge was tipsy?

Just to show you how I’m keeping up with my usual luck in the gambling stakes. Humph!

Well, another Constabulary mystery?
Whatever has occurred? Was it unsightly?
Something vicious, frighteningly?
Eight police vehicles attended… Getaway!
Murder, terrorists or? What unpleasantry?

Bank robbers hiding? A car with no MOT?
Folks signing into their own homes to have a brew of tea?
One more police car, and there’ll be none free!
Trouble at Mill here, I can see!

I read these figures apprehensively…
I sense a Government con here; we’ll see…
Corona Virus, all about money, money…
They’ve upped tax, food prices, and to me…
That’s what they wanted to do, disagreeably!
Help kill off the NHS… do you agree?
There are more folks with the virus around me…
Grenfell, why’s no one been punished, Lordy Me!
Tories get voted in again! They get off scot-free?
Disgusting! Absobloodylutely!

Her killer doesn’t want to be involved in the inquest of his wife, who he murdered? But you would like to know the outcome?

And he’ll be Freed to Kill Again. I guarantee it! Knowing our Parole Board pillocks!

Scumballs!

I think that Lucifer is winning.

What’s the plan, God? Got any?

Pathetic PC sentencing here, methinks?
The legal system, I believe, stinks!
Scared to death of sentencing Muslims?
I can understand that; I come from the slums…
The future scares me…
From terrorism, gangs and every bent MP,
Today’s youngsters will never be free!

At least he only threatened to kill!

That’s the spirit, Judge. Lock ’em up! Seven years equates to about three methinks. With good behaviour?

A Cruel Tax!

I am so delighted to report on this sentence.

A jury of six men and six women took two-and-a-half hours to return a unanimous guilty verdict of manslaughter on Lawson Byrd, who deliberately caused the death of 19-year-old Gianne Obafial.
But they cleared him of the more severe charge of murder. During a two-week trial, Crown Court heard how the defendant, also 19, drove at and then over Mr Obafial in Mercian Way and headed off up Abbey Street.
Giving evidence, Byrd claimed he had no intention of causing the fatal injuries his victim received. Instead, he told a jury he “panicked” after seeing ” a glimmer of metal” in the waistband of Mr Obafial’s trousers and thought it was a knife.

BOLLOCKS! If that had been true, he could have got back in his murder weapon and driven off! Judge Shaun Smith QC said: “Mr Byrd, you have been found guilty and criminally responsible for the death of Mr Obafial, but they have decided you did not intend to kill him or cause him really serious injury. The bullying toss-ball was sentenced to jail for 12 years for manslaughter.

Convicted murderers have got less. I’m tickled pink!

See what I meant above?

Spotted this on Facebook

Interestingly, I spotted the Meridian logo on his uniform. The same company that Nottingham Council uses and tend to my needs. There’s no getting bored with them. In the two months that I’ve been using them, they have failed to turn up six times. Twice coming after midday, which meant it was too late for me to take my medications… in case the evening Carer came. Hehehe! 

On two occasions, they came late but early enough to allow me to take the prescriptions. My trouble… one of many, is having Vascular Dementia, and some days, I don’t realise if they are late, and my mind wanders off. Sad, but true! If someone was to contact me and let me know what’s going off, it would help. The other two times, no one came for the morning visit at all. I often wonder if I am being charged for it? However, and notwithstanding…

The Caring Industry is like the Security Guarding was when I worked for them. Under-staffed, underpaid, and so hectic you wouldn’t believe it! So, I can relate to the branch managers and the staffs’ frustrations. People not turning up and informing you ten minutes before their shift starts, and not showing at all! The good Carers are precious but have to cover all the time for a few. Just the same with the Guards. I have some really caring Carers who call on me, so patient and understanding. The industries are so competitive, with so many available, but none can be 100% reliable. What can they do? Charging more, thus paying higher wages, is a no-no for growth. Sacking bad time-keepers would be a pleasure for some managers, I know… but things would be worse then!

So, I have empathy and understanding of these problems. But that does not offer a solution, does it? Shame!

Luckily, I no longer have to struggle with those problems… nowadays I work to walk, do the ablutions, control my dementia, the eyesight failing with glaucoma, cataracts, and saccades all to be treated with a prospective up to 43 weeks to wait for the first

cataract to be done, the wait again for the other eye to be done. Hopefully, they will be using the Phacoemulsification method. I pray they might do both eyes lens replacements at the same time.

Then, glaucoma in both eyes as well needs to be sorted. (Eye drops only, I think?) Then the saccades in the right eye.

I’ll be getting my telegram from the Queen or King by the time I get around to having all these done and get to have an eye test done to get new lenses from the optician!

You can bet the dentist, DVT, or Cardiac appointments will come when I’m having the eyes done. That happened when I had the stroke; I went back to the bottom of the list. Hehehe!

I’ll just press blindly on!

The Nottingham Lads News Snippets in Ode

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